Original subtitles

All right, buddy, you can do it.

Now, when I say go, I want you to put everything you've got into it, okay?

All right.

Go.

Oh,

did he say go? I guess I should start pushing now. Wow, is that your hardest?

Dude, you just got beat by a girl who can fit in a keyhole.

Hello, class.

Woody, what are you doing on the floor?

Uh, looking for his bride.

Uh, can't find it.

Ooh, and I found a piece of gum.

Okey -dokey, then.

So, in social studies this week, we're going to do something a little

You sit in one of these chairs while we bore you to death?

Well, I know two and I'm already sad.

Now, this assignment is going to be worth half your grade, but everyone will

have a partner.

Everybody!

And the two of you will become a married couple.

What?

No one wants to marry me?

You get used to it.

But what say you be my sugar mama, and I'll tell you you're the smartest girl I

ever met.

marriages end in divorce.

The other half limp along in uncomfortable silence.

But this is because people often don't realize how hard it is to share a life

with another person.

My daddy's great at marriage. He's done it eight times.

Okay.

Now, everyone, pick a card out of this bowl to determine your career.

Ooh, sanitation engineer. Cool, I'm an engineer.

That means garbage man.

Ooh, I drive a truck.

That crushes stuff.

Who's Brian Sergion?

It says brain surgeon.

Ooh, and even though this is pretend, that makes me nervous.

Um, why don't you be a housewife?

Can I be a mansion wife?

Marriage is going great, isn't it, Bailey Bunny?

It sure is, Cody Kitten.

You two should be spayed and neutered.

Zach, I need you to sign this prenup.

I don't sign anything without Cody reading it first.

He doesn't need to read it.

It's just a contract that says if we get divorced, I get to keep all my money

and you get to keep whatever you can fit to this hobo sack.

What? I'm not interested in your fake money.

Did I mention there's a signing bonus with real money?

Initials, signature, DNA sample.

So, what should we do today, money? I mean, honey.

We're going shopping to get you new clothes. What sizes do you need?

28 -inch pants, 36 -inch jacket, and 65 -inch TV.

Done.

I love being fake married to you.

Thanks, sweetie.

But it's our honeymoon. Do you really have to work?

I'm not working. This is my lunch.

Want a bite?

Hi, Ms. Tutwala. Sorry I was out sick the other day. I heard you were in the

infirmary. Yeah, I put on a pair of Zach socks by mistake and had a little...

Fungus situation.

So what's been going on?

Everybody got married.

Wow, you missed one date.

Don't worry, Marcus. I will find something for you.

Wow,

Zach, you look great.

Sorry to break your hearts, ladies, but I'm off the market.

Yeah.

Oh, trophy husband.

I'm a trophy husband.

So, class, how are all your marriages going?

Good. I'm a trophy husband.

Woody is the perfect husband.

Sometimes it does.

And sometimes you realize the person you're in a relationship with isn't who

thought they were.

Like, sometimes you think that someone's a great guy, and then you find out that

his business trips are to visit his girlfriend in Pecora.

Please say cheese.

Please say cheese.

Life.

Dang it.

Now, each couple will spin and adapt their marriage to whatever fate has in

store.

Who wants to go first? Oh, we do. We do. Okay.

You go, honey. Big money. Big money.

Oh, looks like Zach is getting a new job.

Thank goodness. I won't be married to a garbage man anymore.

So you quit your job to pursue your lifelong dream of joining the circus.

a great chance to practice our Japanese.

Light search?

Of course.

You did not just put my sweater on a hanger.

Sorry, sweetie. I'm doing my best.

Uh, honey, can I have another sip of juice?

More juice?

You've had a lot, and I don't really like where that's headed.

Okay, I guess I'll get it myself.

you know, walked or done anything.

I'm doing something. I'm telling you how to do the laundry.

Yeah, really enjoyed the sock folding video.

Uh, I'm feeling a little chill. Can you grab me a blanket?

Sure, sweetie.

Can you tuck me?

Anything else? Maybe a foot rub or a fresh shrimp cocktail?

Oh, that sounds nice.

Oh, that sounds nice.

Oh, oh, too tight talking.

Oh, let me fix that for you.

You really should vacuum down here.

question you each will write down your answer and we'll see how well your

answers match with your spouse a spouse means the person you're married to not a

cross between a spider and a mouse

Pants is an abbreviation for pantaloons, which no one wears these days.

I think the appropriate term would have been slacks, trousers, or even breeches.

relationship.

If you have to go to the bathroom so badly, just get up and go.

I'm sick of doing everything while you sit there whining and criticizing.

I wouldn't have to criticize you if you did things right. You mixed up my soup

and my bedpan. Not that the soup you made was any better.

know that was there well this is where i come to cry too you know because i have

allergies i just thought cody was the one but i feel like i was giving more

he was look bailey the whole point of this assignment was to show you guys

relationships are about compromise give and take for better for worse and

sickness and in health i should have been a little more sympathetic to cody

a couple as perfectly matched as you and Cody? I mean, don't let this little

disagreement break you up.

I promise you, if I ever really break my legs, I would crawl to the ends of the

earth to make you happy.

You would crawl.

Cody, I'll never find anyone as good as you.

I'll never find anyone as good as you either.

And I'll never find anyone.

These are beautiful, Cody.

I think we learned that marriage isn't easy.

Yes. Though it can be great, you shouldn't enter into it lightly.

I learned that I may actually have a career as a clown.

divorced. Miss Tallweiler, will you please tell London that we weren't

married so we don't really need a divorce?

Oh, well then that was easy.

I guess you guys forget about paying Zach that whole million dollar alimony

settlement.

Oh, wait, what?

That wasn't me. That was the clown talking.

By the way, one of those lawyers is single.

London, don't be ridiculous.