Original subtitles

If you're going ashore, the gangway is on level one.

Watch your step. You don't want to slip on the... I got you.

Mr.

Mosby, are you okay?

I tried to move, but my feet were frozen to the death.

I hate the cold.

Me too.

But I've never been to Sweden, and I thought this might be my only chance to

the ABBA Museum.

You're a fan of ABBA?

Me too.

I've seen Mamma Mia over 60 times.

You know, after the shows, I'd wait by the stage door to get autographs until

the cast got that restraining order.

Well, that's cold and not at all creepy.

Make fun, but this keeps me warm and toasty during hunting season. I thought

loved animals.

Oh, I do.

I go into the forest to warn them.

Look, I must let my elk call in here.

We must be docked close to the forest. I can hear the mating call of the elk.

You're a counting Caesar.

It is rotting fish, a fermented herring delicacy the locals call Sir Strauming.

Look, now I get it.

You're not actually going to eat that, are you?

Please, if I can handle Mom's cooking, I can handle anything.

Is that good?

Wow, look how fast the vomit freezes.

hearty Nordic constitution of our ancestors here. Yeah, I can't believe

are related to Knut and Olaf Martin. Yep, our ancestors founded Martin's

And having eaten their food, now I know why they left.

Well, I, for one, am glad I'm back.

Hey, sweet thing.

Hey, I'm Dorsa.

That must be Swedish for...

Of the Martins family?

Really? A Martins?

Painted flesh?

Well, under nine sweaters and a coat.

That's my father. He can't see us together.

Well, how can you know I'm trouble from that far away?

Cody, can you win me something?

One Teddy Moose coming up.

My jacket is restricting me.

Guess it wasn't the jacket.

Well, obviously this game is fixed so that no one ever wins.

What does she have in that purse?

Whatever it is. I bet you can't lift it.

I just need to make a quick stop at Yumeika so that I can get a little part

my Hagoboda.

Fine, I'll just warm up my little parts over here. Okay.

Oh, welcome to Yumeika. Thank you.

Please take a number.

But we're the only customers here.

I can't help you without the number.

I'll do that.

Okay, I'm number five.

Now helping number...

I'm busy. Busy. I'm over here.

As you can see, it's missing a screw.

Oh, yeah, yeah, I do see.

I am happy to help you. You just need to fill out one little form.

This thing must be 200 pages.

Oh, well, you don't have to fill out page 86.

Unless you need a screw.

Please, feel free to fill it out in our super comfy waiting area.

I'm telling you, all these games are rigged.

Let's face it. If you want something, you're going to have to buy it. Let's go

shopping, Elmer Fudd.

Hey, Cody, get the camera.

Why? Want to take a picture in front of our Viking forefathers? Nah. I want to

get a shot of your frozen puke.

It's going to be here until, like, June.

Bill Coleman to Martinsgrove. Hope you're enjoying the festival.

Yeah.

I'm Ragnar, the mayor of Martinsgrove. Ah, pleasure to meet you. I'm Cody, and

this is my brother, Zach.

It just so happens that we are descendants of Canute and Olaf here.

You are Martins?

Yeah, can't you tell from my chiseled Viking features?

No.

But since you're Martins, we would be honored if you two would participate in

the annual fishin' floggin'. Heh, fishin' floggin'. One of that hot girl,

will be there, huh?

I mean, my daughter, Dortha.

And by hot, I meant that she looks slightly feverish. You might want to

her into a snowbank. Oh, gee, it means we would be delighted to participate,

Mayor.

Wonderful. People of Martinsgrove, as you know, we normally conduct the

flogging with the statues, but today we are honored to have actual Martins.

Thank you all.

It is an honor to be here representing our family.

And thank you for including us in your festival. Let the fishing pluggin'

finished filling out your stunningly detailed parts request form time for

lunch what do you mean lunch that's a bitch a malarkey we've been

waiting here for hours ah forget it mr mosby life is too short could you just

buy another nightstand of course i can but i won't it's the principle of the

thing

free to wait in our super comfy waiting area.

You hear that?

We got an hour. Come on, let's go to the museum.

What? No, that barely gives us enough time to get through the platform shoe

pavilion.

Let's go across the street to the Sir Strongman restaurant.

You like fermented herring? Heck no, but they got real chairs.

I smell like Shamu the urinal.

It was fun.

You threw fish at us?

Sorry, guys. It was crowded.

We wouldn't have thrown them if we'd known it was you.

Even if it was fun.

Boys, that was just wonderful.

Oh, I'm glad you enjoyed it. Oh, we did. It's much more fun having real Martins

here. When you throw herring at the statues, they don't shriek like little

girls.

Look, you have no right to treat us like this. This town is named after our...

Our ancestors.

God, your ancestors almost ruined this town.

It was a bitterly cold night.

Canute and Holof were supposed to be guarding the town's herring catch.

Hey, Canute.

This saga of Leif Erikson is just wonderful.

It talks of a huge landmass west of the ocean.

Holof.

You make me laugh.

Everyone knows if you go west, you fall off the world.

You must be from Falloon, because you got me, Falloon, head over heels.

Eyes on the herring, not on me.

So, when all of us began reading, and Canute was striking out with my great

-great -great -great -grandmother, a Scandinavian brown bear crept up and

the town's entire herring catch.

The town nearly starved, and the marcher's name has been reviled ever

that's ridiculous.

We all know bears don't eat fish.

feed jars of honey and hang out with tigers and piglets.

If it weren't for Ragnar I, heroically tracking down the bear and returning the

herring, this town would have starved to death.

People of Martinsgrove, Canute and Olaf have let us down, but I, Ragnar the

Brave, have saved the day.

Now, let's put them on a long ship and shove them off the end of the earth.

Yes!

so I guess that proves the earth is round.

Hey, Eric, I owe you 20 kroner.

It kind of happened a long time ago. Can't you just let it go?

No, I can't.

This is a claw from the teething bear.

Been passed down through generations of my family. I keep it as a reminder of

that night.

Plus, it's good for opening bottles.

Now, just get the super screw and go to the Abu Museum.

Mamma mia!

Number 37.

So,

while I was in the shower, I was thinking about Ragnar's story, and

seemed fishy.

Are you sure it wasn't the smell of your hair?

All right, Cody, just forget the whole thing. Look, they're serving hot

chocolate.

Obviously, who would be dumb enough to order a smoothie?

Olaf was reading the saga of Leif Erikson. But Leif Erikson wasn't born

970, a good 50 years after Canute and Olaf supposedly lost the herring.

So?

So, if that fact is wrong, maybe the whole story is wrong. We have to get

there and clear our family's name.

Nothing on earth would make me go back to that herring hole.

Sick. I shnook away from my father.

I wish there was some baby could be together.

There will be.

as soon as I clear my family's name.

You see, I was just telling my brother that there was no way Olaf could have

been reading about that leafy guy because he wasn't even born until long

the herring heist.

You are so smart.

Uh -huh, uh -huh. Yeah, yeah, the smartest.

If only there was some record of that time.

Well, there is my ancestor's diary, which my father keeps under lock and key

like it's some big giant secret.

it might actually be some big giant secret no it didn't sometimes i'm such a

dumb brunette

Oh, I am not seeing it. All I have here is one for a woman named Marion.

Oh,

in that case, I'm very sorry, ma 'am.

This should take no time at all, though. Oh, thank goodness.

Everything seems to be in order.

I just need to know the name of your screw.

from a last minute entry from Gunnel...

It could also be the Banner thing.

Jerk face!

Hey, I'm doing the best I can.

No, no, that's the name of the screw I need. Jerk face!

Ha! You mean the Yerka Fassa.

Yerka Fassa.

One Yerka Fassa.

Ja.

Ja. Ja.

We no longer make that screw.

I can do.

Okay.

I've wasted enough of my life on this.

I give up.

Come on, Marcus.

Let's get to the Avon Museum before it closes. No.

It's not just a nightstand. It's the principal.

Now, listen, Helga.

We're not leaving this door until we are satisfied.

Oh, boy.

Okay, I suppose I could look the other way and exchange your Haggaboodle for

new Nagabiden model.

Yes, yes. I'll take the Nagabide.

Wonderful.

We will have it brought down just as soon as you finish the... Exchange

Butter,

we need to talk to you.

What are you doing with this, Martins? I told you he's no good.

No, you're no good. You're a liar.

Do you know what the penalty is for making false accusations against the

Another fish and flogging? No, a reindeer poop and flogging.

what you've been hiding in your Hagobo the nightstand.

My keys.

Right here, along with your great, great, great, great... Great. Thank you.

Grandmother's diary.

Dorta translated the diary for me, and now I know the truth.

Turns out Ingrid was madly in love with Canute. Not a big surprise.

We Martins men have a connect for that.

But her father was not happy about it.

I'm sick of the Martins. They think they own this town.

cruising around that tricked -out dragon ship of theirs.

They come canocking, don't let them in.

But, Father!

Silence! That Canute is no good.

Trust me, you will soon see.

It's true that Canute and Olaf were in charge of guarding the herring, but they

took their job very seriously.

than a Viking funeral.

Aren't we supposed to be guarding the herring?

You're right. I cannot leave my post.

Canute and Olaf ran to protect Ingrid, letting the bear take the herring.

Years later, long after Canute and Olaf had been banished, Ingrid discovered the

truth.

She was cleaning out her family's root cellar when she came across a bear

costume. It was your great, great, great, great, great, great.

Great. Thank you.

Again.

Grandfather who dressed as a bear.

And stole the herring to discredit the Martins.

Herring today, gone tomorrow.

But it was too late for poor Ingrid.

the ocean to fall off the edge of the earth.

Ragnar I pretended to rescue the herring, and your family's been living

goodwill for years.

Ah, that's all ancient history. Please, people, let's just enjoy the festival.

Get him!

Once again, thank you, Marcus.

I cannot tell you what a relief it is to know that I never have to yeagle again.

Yeah, well, glad I could help.

And it was worth it.

This Niagara -Biden is a lot nicer than a hogabooter. Huh?

Okay. Now, hand me the last screw.

Uh, there aren't any more.

But the drawer guide needs one more screw.

It might need it, but it ain't here.

It has to be here.