Original subtitles

Good evening.

Hi. You're blocking my moon.

My bad.

Let me make it up to you.

Wow, it's gorgeous.

And so are... Oh, you.

In that case, let me show you another trick.

Do you have any $1 bills?

Oh, you mean these things I used to blow my nose?

Let's use these instead.

So, Rich, I have money coming out of my ears.

I'm Dan. I see you've met the amazing Armando.

Yeah, and I like him even more than all my dough.

Mr.

Mosley, may I borrow your pocket hanky?

Yes, but please be careful. It's a Cary Grant collectible.

I'm planning on wearing it to HankyCon.

I hope that's not the same weekend as Ascot Palooza.

Bring it back. Oh, it's over there.

this good?

Well, let's see how good you look sitting by yourself.

Still pretty good.

Did you know that we met exactly three hours ago?

Happy anniversary.

But I didn't even get you a card.

Well, sure you did.

It came airmail.

Glad you didn't get me pants.

Hey, guys, what's for dinner?

These are cold.

Hey, Zach, what happened to your date?

I don't know. I thought Sarah and I were really hitting it off. Her name is

Tanya.

I can't take those head games anymore.

I'm so sick of women. They expect so much out of you. Like, show up on time,

remember their name, whatever.

I haven't been in a long -term relationship.

He needs a relationship.

I can hang out with you guys.

Oh, great.

Oh,

I got it.

Hey, but you're out of money.

Armando. Wow, short show.

It's not over yet.

Who said that?

Isn't he adorable?

He makes my heart give a beat.

He made mine stop altogether.

Karina. Good thing I wasn't taking a shower.

Who is that girl?

I'm just guessing here, but I think that's his assistant, the lovely and

talented Karina.

Well, I don't like her. He's got his hands all over her.

Now for the good part.

I learned this from a great magician.

I got us a double mango fandango with a fiber boost to promote intestinal

health. Cody, you're so romantic.

And colonically conscious.

So, what's next?

Zach, Bailey and I were about to go dancing, so... Well, there's three of

it's going to have to be a line.

Because as Beethoven said, I gotta make a movement.

Okay,

I can't stand this anymore.

We have to find someone to take Zach off our hands.

Yeah, but who do we know that has so little in their life that they would be

happy to hang out with him all day?

Hey, Kaylee.

See what I did there? I combined Cody with Bailey and got Kaylee. Like

Brangelina. Except nobody cares about you two.

you guys saw me coming, you went over the railing and hung there till I left.

Um, chin -ups to work in the upper body.

Uh, we'll keep it up because so far I'm not seeing a lot of results.

Woo!

That was horrifying.

Hey, Zach, look who joined us.

Woodster, the woodchuck, Little Red Riding Wood, the wood, the band, and the

ocean. Get out of the back.

Who doesn't love them?

I'm working on one that sounds like an owl hooting.

That was you?

You see, I was up late last night thinking, there are no owls that see.

You, sir, are an artiste.

Right, guys?

Thank you. Thank you.

in a pretty obvious nose job.

Now, Karina, what have we here?

We have a bowling ball.

But wait, there's more.

Thank you.

And another hand for my assistant, the beautiful and striking...

Daddy had assistants, too. He married number three, five, and seven. And then

remarried three and five.

London, Mr. Mosby, thanks for coming.

Have you met Karina?

London, it's so nice to meet you. I hope you enjoyed the show. Oh, yes.

My favorite part was when you disappeared.

But then you came back.

Please, excuse me.

Armando, you simply must tell me how you... Daddy, I need you to get rid of a

girl. Send her to one of our oil rigs in the North Atlantic.

Or better yet, our quantum mind's in Peru.

The point is, I never want to see her again, and I want her to suffer.

Oh, sorry, ma 'am. Wrong number.

Daddy, I need you to get rid of a girl.

Wasn't that rock climbing wall awesome?

Yeah, once I found a place to keep my corn chips.

How much fun it was just to hang out with my buddy.

Elmer Budd.

Buddopotamus.

Boom.

You know, girls are just so high maintenance.

I mean, would you mind if I showed up late?

I'd still think you're great. And if I didn't comb my hair?

I wouldn't care.

And if I didn't compliment on how you dress?

I couldn't care less. I know I'm a mess.

Plus, you never nag, you pay your own way, and I never have to guess what

thinking.

contest tomorrow night.

Cool. Let's enter. Okay. Be in my cabin by seven and we'll practice.

Do you really think we need practice?

Yes. And a broom.

Oh my gosh! Thank you so much!

Good news?

Like you didn't know, I just got a call from your dad and he... I saw a picture

of you, and it's making the new Tipton spokesmodel.

Actually, the new Mrs.

Tipton. Wow,

he switched that up on me.

Either way, you're leaving, right?

Yes. Your dad wants me to meet him immediately.

Why don't you go tell Armando? No, no, no, no.

I mean, I'll tell him.

Well, what about the show?

Don't worry about it. I'll take care of everything.

Now you've got a helicopter to catch.

Mom!

Please welcome.

But where's Karina? Karina who?

My assistant.

Oh, I don't know. I looked everywhere.

That's why I'm here to help. Now let's do some magic together.

Sammy!

I can't bear the look.

I think we should start with something a little less sharp.

Less sharp than London? Good luck with that.

And now, Armando's amazing sketch pad of mystery.

Hand me my sketch pad. Oh!

Shangri -La.

Oh, yeah, that reminds me. I found a whole bunch of birdies backstage in your

pants, and I let them go.

Now, let's see the magical dog trick.

I can't do it now.

Why not?

Because you let the birds go.

So? Just make some more with some magic. I can't. It's a trick, hence the term

magic trick.

Wait, you mean none of this is real?

Of course not. There's no such thing as magic.

Isn't that nice for Fred?

Meanwhile, he's not entering a contest tomorrow with a woeful lack of

preparation. How much preparation do we need? We play invisible instruments.

We're basically mimes without makeup.

for you what is the matter with you nothing nothing at all

are we having our first fight it's not a fight it's a conversation

it's a lovely conversation you know when we first

that little Billy was traumatized by our magic show.

However, at 17, you'd think he'd have more control over his emotions.

Hello? Hello?

Buffy, we need to talk to you about Armando.

Ah, yes.

You would like some advice on how to apologize to him?

Apologize?

Sit down.

Sit.

Don't talk.

And listen.

Now, I am not going to fire Armando. I mean, you're the one who ruined the

By the way, what happened to his real assistant?

Oh, don't worry about her. She's in a better place.

London,

you didn't. Oh, don't get your hanky in a twist.

Because you have a problem with an employee, you feel it's okay to just

them disappear?

Yes. It's surprisingly easy.

Do you have a problem with that?

No, of course not.

Yes.

Yes, London, I do.

I mean, that is no way to deal with people.

Well, that's what Daddy does.

He says all's fair in love and war.

Not when you hurt the one that you love.

Look, London, with all due respect to your father, there was a better way to

handle the situation.

You should have just been honest with Armando. Well, he wasn't... honest with

me. He pretended he was magic, but there was no real magic at all. Okay, okay.

Maybe the real magic is in how you two feel about each other.

Well, he did make me feel like I was walking on air.

See?

And you wouldn't want something like that to just disappear, would you?

No. So, go talk to him.

Work this thing out.

You know what, Mosby?

You're right.

I can't wait to call Daddy and tell him you think he's wrong. Yeah, okay.

is not a harp. It is in fact a clersych gridola, a medieval Celtic instrument.

I can understand if you guys were confused because the two instruments are

similar in size and shape.

We're losing them.

Oh, you never had them.

And now for our next act, smash and trash.

Actually, it's just smash.

I put trash out on the curb.

We vote Tony up the door.

For friends are not forever.

That's just the way things go.

Cause it's tough to make an angel.

I should have been more thoughtful.

Well, I also overreacted. I mean, I guess I was just feeling vulnerable and

unappreciated. I don't know how Sarah felt.

It's Tanya!

Whatever.

But all that matters is that the power duo is...

busy, so I'll make it fast.

Okay. I'm really sorry for your New York losing your birthday, making those kids

cry. Not that fast.

It was me who got rid of your... My assistant, I know.

I got the wedding invitation.

They've rented out New Zealand.

Hmm. Australia must have been booked.

I just don't understand.

Why would you get rid of Karina?

Because... Well, because I felt threatened.

London, Karina's just my assistant.

You're the one I really like.

Still? Of course.

If you weren't, would I give you all these diamonds?

You're so funny.

Can you do that with real diamonds?

Not in what your dad's paying me.

Oh, it's almost time for your show.

I don't know how I'm going to do it without an assistant.

You have an assistant.

Look, London, you're pretty.

You're sweet, you're charming, but you're the worst assistant in the

magic.

I'm not talking about me.

I got you a new assistant, and she's a real cutie.

Wait, you're not going to see her as a threat, are you?

I'll try not to.

Dominique!

Tata!

Oh, watch it, Curly!

I bet you can fit in the box. standing up

thank

goodness Woody and Zach made up

yep now it's just the two of us alone under the stars enjoying a little

quiet time

I just walked up behind you. Oh.