Original subtitles

Good night, sweetheart.

All my prayers are for you.

Good night, sweetheart.

I'll be watching over you.

Tears and parting may make us alone.

But with the dawn, a new day is born.

This is a lovely one, Gary. Listen.

Dear beautiful lady, I was enthralled by your sensitive yet sensuous scene at

the Blue Door Club last night. If it were not for the simple gold band,

unnoticed with sinking art, gracing the slender third finger of your left hand,

I would there and then have pledged my life and love to you until the very end

of time.

Oh, sweet old thing.

Sad old git.

Are you jealous?

Of course not.

It's just all you seem to do every waking minute is read those fan letters.

Maybe that's because you don't say nice things to me anymore.

Of course I do.

Yeah?

Come on in.

What was the last nice thing you said to me?

Have you forgotten already?

At dinner time?

I said this is the best cheese and potato pie I have tasted since the

commencement of hostilities.

Gary, while the knowledge that you enjoyed your tea leaves me delirious

ecstasy... Oh, you've been hanging around with Noel Coward again, haven't

All right, then. What do you want me to do?

I just... I just want you to woo me.

You never woo me no more.

Is that all?

Am I intruding on a private moment?

How did you get in? I left the door on the latch and I said he was going to pop

down with something for me.

Do you want me to wait outside?

That won't be necessary.

The something I have to offer you, my dearest Phoebe, is a small roll.

Thanks, but we've just eaten.

A frightfully droll.

MI5's game was the music hall's game.

I meant a part in my new film.

You want me to be in your film?

Quite. Brief Encounter, directed by the sublime Mr David Lean, featuring my

beloved Celia Johnson.

Celia Johnson?

And a wonderful young actor recently invalided out of the forces.

Trevor Howard.

Incredible.

Never underestimate the Secret Service.

What's the part? Do I get to talk?

Even better. You get to sing.

I've written a little scene in a nightclub.

Oh, no.

Oh, isn't that divine, Gary?

Can I choose the song? Can it be one of Gary's? You can accompany me, Gary. You

can be in the film. Can he be in the film?

Well, he'll need a haircut.

I don't think that's a very good idea. We could do, I just called to say I love

you.

No, look, Phoebe, the thing is, you're not a professional actress. I'm not a

professional musician.

Well, I mean... Oh, I get it.

You're too blooming scared to do anything with your talent.

And you're too blooming jealous to let me do anything with mine.

Well, I'm going to appear in this film, come what may.

Even if I have to be accompanied by Reg Stedman on a Coleman paper.

Murray, you call yourself a lawyer? I pay you, what is it, $300 an hour to

protect my interest, and now you tell me that my so -called partner Clive has

stitched me up?

Yeah, I'm not familiar with that colloquialism, Yvonne.

Stitched me up, screwed me royally, shafted me rotten, jicken -putes.

OK, yeah, I read you. But you have to understand, there was no warning.

The merger was going through smoothly and suddenly it turned into a hostile

takeover bid and they wanted you out.

How can you watch these American soaps? Do you mind?

This is a conference call, idiot.

That bastard Clive is out in California selling my business behind my back and

my only ally in the whole world is this hapless schmuck.

Yeah, he looks pretty inadequate from where I'm sitting.

What? No, Murray, you are the hapless schmuck.

Now, listen, go to court and get an injunction.

If you can't get an injunction, get a hitman. Just stop, Clive!

If anybody wants me, Gary, I will be at my merchant bank.

Bought one of those now, have you?

I'm sorry if I seem to be taking my problems out on you. It's all right.

with the penthouse, the Porsche and the PMT.

So, what exciting things have you got planned today?

Oh, just thought I'd sort through some old movies.

Your life, it's so simple, isn't it?

Tell me about it.

I thought she was going to top herself.

So did I.

Do you reckon we're the only people in the country never to have seen Brief

Encounter? Well, I tried watching it last Christmas, but I dozed off.

On account of having to eat two turkey dinners 53 years apart.

This must be nearly over and still no nightclubs in.

Gary, am I an idiot?

You're my best friend, Ron, so I won't answer that.

Then it must be you.

Because it suddenly occurs to me, if Gary Sparrow does make an appearance in

Brief Encounter, somebody would have mentioned it to you before now.

No, you still don't grasp the basic paradox of time travel, do you?

I'm not in Brief Encounter yet, because in 1944, they haven't finished filming

it.

Then why are we watching it?

In case.

So far, so good.

How are you going to get out of it? I don't know.

Phoebe is longing to sing I Just Called to Say I Love You on cellulite.

You didn't write that, too, did you?

She thinks it's my best song since Bohemian Rhapsody.

My dear, why don't you let Phoebe sing the song?

You wear a false beard or something. Say it's MI5 regulations.

I'll follow that.

Suppose I Just Called to Say I Love You does end up in a hit 1945 movie, right?

Stevie Wonder will never get to write it, which means I won't know how it goes

in the first place.

Well, look on the bright side.

Maybe you did write it and Stevie ripped you off.

You could sue him.

Excuse me, miss.

Can I help you, sir?

Well, I seem to be suffering from dry lips. I was wondering if you knew of any

remedy? Hmm.

You can try one of these.

Cheers. Have one yourself. In fact, make it a double.

Look,

I'm sorry about yesterday. If you want to do my song, then I'm flattered. Yeah,

so you should be. I am.

Evening, lovebirds.

Billy. Here, have I got a joke for you.

Oh, have you? Go on, then.

I must have left it in me other trousers.

I'll just go and get it.

Gary, the thing is about this song... Good evening, Gary.

Phoebe, you look as enchanting as ever.

Thank you, kind sir.

Noel, I was thinking about this song I'm going to do with Phoebe. Oh, listen,

there's no need to apologise, my dear fellow. No, no, I mean... I've been

to tell him.

I know you're shy of performing in public, and how did you put it, Noel?

Exposing yourself and compromising your position.

So, Noel's found someone else to accompany me.

Oh.

I suppose I can teach him the court.

That won't be necessary.

My dear friend Anthony has written a lovely song that's quite perfect for

Phoebe. And who is Anthony?

A professional songwriter.

He had two successful reviews running on Broadway before the war.

Well, I've had three successful dogs running at Haringey. I don't go on about

it.

Don't be childish.

So you don't want me or my song?

That's right.

You should be relieved.

Oh, yeah, well, it's a load off.

So, when do I get to meet your dear friend, Anthony?

Well, he said he was going to be here tonight.

Oh, and every year.

Oh. Oh, it's lovely to see you again.

Anthony,

this is Gary Sparrow.

Gary, this is Anthony Blair.

How do you do?

Please, call me Tony.

Tony Blair.

Wing Commander Blair.

Only he's too modest.

Phoebe tells me you spent quite some time in Hollywood.

Did you ever run into Ethel Merman?

Um, no.

No, I didn't have a driving licence.

Noel said you had a ready wit. It's just a question of whether the rest of us

are ready for it.

Evening, Noel.

Three tonnes of human hair... I beg your pardon?

It's a joke. Brace yourself.

Three tonnes of human hair were stolen last night from a wig factory in

And police are combing the area.

That is so good.

Reg, it's your joke.

I read it in a comic, but I never heard it before.

Comb in the area.

I don't know.

I like him.

He's so utterly without guile.

Oh, when do I get my hands on your ditty, Anthony?

In no time like the present.

Don't fret, Gary. She'll be perfectly safe in Anthony's hands.

The first time I saw you, I knew I'd adore you. I couldn't do

less.

I tried to ignore you in case I might bore you, but now I confess.

It's not just your style or your smoldering smile or the way

that you dress.

I love the complete you, the whole head to feet

you.

I couldn't do less.

I don't want the money, you klutz. I want my business. I want Nature Boy.

Morning. It was my project. It was my dream.

And I'm not selling out for a lousy $8 million.

Well, I'll just get a coffee.

So you get back to that rat, Clive LaZouche, and... It's two in the morning

here, Yvonne. He's going to be asleep.

Well, then wake him up and keep... waking him up, and if he falls asleep,

him with lighted cigarettes.

Look, I'm tired too. People make mistakes when they get tired. It'd be

if you were here.

I'm sorry I didn't get back last night. Fog completely shut down in Vanessa

Airport. Right now, Gary, I don't give a flying bomb.

Fine. Fine, I won't bother in future.

Okay, Murray, I'll be there.

Huh? You said it'd be different if I were there. Okay, I'll be there.

You better tell Clive he should get some body armour.

I've got to get to the West Coast.

Right now, I don't give a flying bomb, Yvonne.

I'm sorry I snapped at you, but I'm under savage pressure.

I've been on the phone all night and me right ear's really numb.

Well, maybe I can do something about that.

Gary!

And if you haven't been to bed all night, what say you and I just... I

got time for that.

Look, I know this takeover madness has turned me into a complete crazed bitch.

Oh, I hadn't noticed.

But you still matter to me.

I still care for you.

And I still miss you when you're not here.

You do?

Yeah, it was a surprise to me too.

Look, what's to stop you joining me in LA?

I mean, don't say the shop. You've always got someone to mind the shop.

I need somebody out there I can totally trust. And you are the only really

honest person I know.

Well, I'm flattered.

So how long do you think we'll need to be in the States?

Six months tops.

Six months? The war's over in six months.

What war?

I just meant, you know, wars generally don't take that long. You know, I mean,

Desert Storm, the Falklands, Six Day War was particularly short.

Although the Thirty Years' War did drag on a bit.

Six months isn't that long to sit by a swimming pool in Beverly Hills, is it?

Oh, you don't really want me out there holding you back.

I mean, I'd just be cramping your style.

You want me to bugger off, don't you?

You'd be happier if I was on another continent.

No. Oh, look, if there is someone else, just tell me. Let's get it out in the

open. There'll be lots of hard feelings and that'll be that.

Look, Yvonne, I promise you there is no one on this whole planet for me except

you.

Oh, great. You mean you're screwing an alien?

Come on!

God, you can't do a bloody thing right.

Pardon me.

I'm still here.

So, whether I go or not, California, here she comes.

Well, look on the bright side.

This could be a God -given opportunity to simplify your life. Oh, if only.

Nothing against Yvonne, except she's scary as hell.

But this could be your chance to let go gracefully.

Concentrate all your affections on Phoebe.

Plus, Yvonne would have to pay you a cartload of alimony. But I don't want to

let Yvonne go, I don't think.

Fine.

Continue living a lie.

Excuse me.

You are the Ron Wheatcroft currently romancing a society lovely by pretending

you're richer than Bill Gates.

Well, that's different.

Flick's top drawer totty. She wouldn't look twice at the real Ron.

Whereas Phoebe loves you for who you are.

She thinks I'm a songwriting secret agent.

Inside that.

I wish she'd been acting lately. I'm not sure she loves me at all. I don't think

either of them love me.

That's probably because you're behaving like such a wuss.

Sharpen up your act, or I won't love you either.

You're going? I'm staying.

Staying? Good. You can babysit.

Well, I thought we could spend some time together.

Oh, aren't they lovely?

You're welcome.

They're from you?

Well, who do you think they were from, Tony Blair?

No.

No, it's just the most romantic thing you've bought me lately was a packet of

three... thingamajigs.

Again, that's despite longer than usual.

Well, make do and mend. There is a war on, you know.

Look, your favourite chocolate.

Perfume from Paris.

Stop trying to bribe me, Gary.

I did not have my hair done at Cesrini to spoil it wrestling with you.

I'm going out, and that's that.

So you can spoil it wrestling with Wing Commander Blair?

Don't be stupid.

We're just going to work on our scene together.

Noel's written us some lines now.

Lines you could be doing with me if you hadn't been such a namby -pamby.

So why can't Anthony come round here and rehearse?

So you can sit and take the mick all night. I should cocoa.

I get it.

Roses! Murder!

God, it's been so long since I've seen Roses, I forgot I was allergic.

Is Mr. Coward here yet?

I was expecting him. Well, he said he'd meet me here.

Well, make yourself comfortable.

Murder!

He can take you out of it if you like.

That hat new?

Danham Company.

Seventeen and ninepence.

Well, I don't know how to break this to you, but, um... The lining's come out.

Oh.

No, it hasn't.

So what's that on your head?

You noticed.

It's a two -uppy.

It's posh for wig.

That's toupee, Reg.

Are you sure?

You've spelt too happy.

Yeah. Do you think it makes me look younger?

Um... Compared to what?

I'll go.

Your hair looks nice.

Tom, it makes one of us. Huh?

Reginald, apologies for my tardiness.

Is that a toupee?

100 % human air, donated by nuns for a war effort.

Probably three times stolen from Catford, I expect.

It's absolutely spectacular.

No -one would ever mistake it for the genuine article.

Gary, would you be so kind as to put that on the gramophone, please?

Yeah, OK.

Any particular reason?

Well, we're short of extras for the nightclub scene, and a little bird tells

that Reginald is a wonderful dancer.

Oh? What little bird?

Me, actually.

I always wanted to be in a picture.

All normal people want to be in pictures, Gary.

Shall I lead?

I can't do the women's steps, Mr Cad.

Yes, of course. Forgive me.

Joe pops off to rinse Reggie's Irish under the tap, and Phoebe goes off with

Tony Blair to rehearse, in inverted commas.

I thought you forbade her to go out with him.

I did.

I forbade her very strongly.

In fact, I was standing there, holding the baby, forbidding her all the time

was descending in the lift.

Well, look on the bright side.

This could be a God -given opportunity to simplify your life.

Go to America with Yvonne and let Phoebe limp off into the sunset with Tony

Blair.

You do realise that's the exact opposite of the advice you gave me last time?

I pride myself I'm nothing if not inconsistent.

OK, keep Phoebe, dump Yvonne. Better? I don't want to dump Yvonne and I don't

want to lose Phoebe, let alone little Michael. So, in essence, you like your

life being a complete and utter mess?

I suppose I might.

Did you know?

Bigamist is very nearly an anagram of I am a git.

Home practice makes perfect.

Who knows, this could be the start of a whole new career for you.

Reg Deadman and Ginger Rogers. Now you're teasing.

No, I'm not.

Come the Oscars, you could clean up.

After everyone else has gone home.

Have you just come here to mock?

No, I haven't. I'm looking for Phoebe. She's not at home. I thought she might

here. Noel invited her down to the film studio.

I wish he'd asked me.

Just because I wouldn't let him be the man.

I've never met anyone like you before.

Common, you mean?

No, not common. You're rare. You're rare to tender.

Makes me sound like a nice piece of rump steak.

I mean it.

Ever since I lost my leg, I've despaired of meeting a woman who sees me as a

man, not a cripple.

I can't believe that.

You're a very good -looking chap.

Am I?

You know you are.

So you find me attractive?

Please, Tony, I'm a married woman.

Does Gary love you?

Of course he does.

Maybe a bit on the quiet side compared to you.

Not so handsome, or so talented, or so nicely turned out, or handsome.

Did I just mention handsome?

Oh, God, don't go on.

To think you feel that way about me, and yet we mayn't do anything to express

our love.

I wrote to you.

Did you?

If it were not for the simple gold band, I noticed, with sinking heart.

That was you.

Oh, bloody Nora.

If it was three inches longer.

Quiet, everybody, please. We're going for a take.

I'll tell you later.

Turn over.

Start running.

Race. Market.

142. Take one.

Background action, please.

And... Action.

My train will be here any minute.

Laura, darling.

I can't believe I'm never going to see you again.

I don't suppose you'd ever contemplate leaving him. Please, my darling.

The very words tear me in two.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Gary, what do you think you're doing?

What do you think you're doing?

Look, I know what I'm doing. What do you think you're doing? What the hell,

Gary?

My dear chap, Phoebe and Anthony were simply filling in with a little

action. We were only acting, Gary.

Tony, Anthony, wing commander.

I'm sure Phoebe will be delighted you still feel so passionately about her.

Excuse me.

He's only got the one leg, you know.

Hardly my fault.

Anyway, how can you be in this scene and be the nightclub singer?

The nightclub scene has been dropped.

Darling Celia feels very strongly that apparently her character wouldn't be

dead in a nightclub.

Bloody actresses.

Well, I'd better go and mollify Anthony.

Sorry.

I don't love you.

Really?

After I've been such an utter fool?

No, it was I who was the fool.

Taking you for granted, sir.

What's that chuck this acting lark? It's boring as hell anyway, sitting around

here for hours.

No, you must finish the scene, otherwise it'll play havoc with the continuity.

Well, I love it when you talk all Hollywood.

Maybe we will go out there one day.

I just want us to be together.

Well, me too.

But right now I've got an urgent meeting. It could be an all -nighter.

Phoning sick?

I can't, Phoebe. England expects every man to do his duty.

So do I.

Phoning sick.

Go on.

Go on.

Yvonne! What are you doing here?

Don't go.

I've got to. I'll come with you then.

No, you were right, Gary. It'd never work.

My world of international capitalism obviously intimidates you.

I'm not the woman you married.

Well, yes and no.

You need a simple home, loving girl. Someone to have your baby.

Yes, I need that too. Look, Yvonne, all we have to do... The next Heathrow

Express is about to depart.

Will all passengers please board the train?

I've got to go.

I love you, Yvonne.

Yvonne.

Yvonne, listen.

Yvonne, listen.

deal for all of us. Can't we sort this out?

I'm sure we can find some middle ground.

Hi Clive, it's Gary.

No, I'm afraid Yvonne's on her way to LA.

Yes, with a posse of lawyers, a ton of injunctions and what appears to be a

Sicilian string quartet.

No, I'm afraid an extra million bucks wouldn't ring my bell. You'll have to do

better.

Twelve million?

Well, now at least we're talking the same language.

But you see, she's already laid out a quarter of a million on the hit men.

Sorry, sorry, string quartet, sorry.

Now, if you were to try something in the 15 million ballpark... Yes,

I thought you'd see it my way, Clive. All right, well, I'll advise her to take

the 15, but only because I've always had a soft spot for bald men with

ponytails.

Oh, you're welcome.

It's been a pleasure doing blackmail with you.

You see, your world of international capitalism isn't so daunting after all.

Now, about my commission.

I have to speak to my merchant bank.

No -one ever gets anything over on you, do they?

I wouldn't say no -one.

Good night, sweetheart Sleep well, banished sorrow

Good night, sweetheart

Good night, sweetheart.