Original subtitles

Good night, sweetheart.

All my prayers are for you.

Good night, sweetheart.

I'll be watching over you.

Tears and parting may make us alone.

But with the dawn, a new day.

Harry, I don't want to be a nag, but you go out that door and I've no idea when

you'll be back.

Look, I'll try and pop back tonight, I promise.

We're married now. You've got responsibility.

Phoebe, being a spy isn't a nine -to -five job, you know.

I can hardly turn to M halfway through a mission and say, I'm sorry, sir, it's

five o 'clock, I've got to go home for my tea now.

Yeah, I bet when you do get hungry, that Miss Moneypenny's always got something

hot for you.

There is nothing between me and Moneypenny.

OK, I admit she has got a bit of a thing for me.

Well, there's this trick I do. You know, I throw my hat onto a hook and she

laughs.

She understands I'm strictly out of bounds.

I know your work takes up a lot of your time, but I'm worried about all the

things that need doing round here.

Things like what?

Like what? I'm eight months pregnant.

The baby could arrive at any moment. The nursery isn't decorated or furnished.

Left to you, our baby would end up sleeping in a drawer.

I slept in a drawer till I was five.

It's very nice. My dad used to leave it open.

Look, I don't want to do anything to the nursery until the baby's born and

everything's OK.

I don't want to tempt fate.

What do you mean?

The doctor says everything's fine.

Has he said something different to you?

No, no, of course not.

You're lying.

What's he said?

Nothing, I swear.

Look, you're right. Everything's going to be fine. I'm just being silly.

So when will you decorate the nursery, then?

Well, we can hire someone.

Pay someone to do our decorating.

You've got some airs and graces. Oh, I can afford it.

Do you know any handymen?

All the ones I knew have been called up.

Yeah.

God, there must be somebody keen to earn a few bob on the side.

Ask me.

Of course.

Do you know anyone rich?

No, I mean, ask me to decorate the nursery for you.

Oh, um, well, thanks, Reg, but we want it done a certain way.

What way's that then?

Properly. Don't be so rude, Reg. He's a dab and with a brush.

He did a lovely job on Margie's scullery. He transformed it.

Into what?

Nothing. It's still a scullery.

I only had a bucket of distemper.

Oh, OK, if you're happy.

Now, what about the furniture?

Oh, yeah, what do we need? A crib, Moses' basket.

Why don't you just make a list and I'll pick up everything in the same place

I've got the pram.

Can't I come with you to... Where was it you said you went? Mothercare?

Um, well, no.

No, it's part of the American Embassy, you see. We have to go through a lot of

red tape.

By the time you've got your security clearance, the baby will be on solid.

This is my baby as well, Gary. I want to help choose all of his little things.

Part of the fun for a woman.

OK, OK, we'll go to the shops.

There's not a new stick of furniture in the whole of Hackney.

I mean, we'll go up west.

Harrods. You'll get anything if you've got the money.

You've got Harrods sort of money, have you? Yeah, no problem.

So, Reg, how much am I going to pay you for doing this decorating?

Ten be OK?

I wouldn't take ten bob off, you can.

No, I meant ten quid, Reg. Ten quid? That's more than I might get a month.

How many times do I have to tell you? Money isn't a problem.

You've got no money, have you?

You see, at the moment, most alternative therapies are just a chaotic jumble of

cottage industries going on in people's front rooms or above kebab shops.

Eventually, what I'd like to do is put them all under one roof. A holistic

health centre. Give the whole thing some sort of credibility. You're so right.

Most people still see alternative therapy as something that's practised by

weirdos and hippies. And nutters. Don't forget nutters.

Sweet.

Good trip.

Yeah. Hi, Kate. Hello, Gary. How's the career going?

Oh, you know, a constant round of war zones, interviews with major

big movie premieres. Oh, sounds fun.

Yeah, those are just some of the jobs I might be doing if I wasn't stuck on the

Colford evening argo.

Has Yvonne been telling you all about her plans for comprehensive health cover

for the lentil -eating people of the world?

You'll have noticed Gary's not an enthusiast. There's more things in

earth than all that, Gary.

Some of the things I've read on the internet. You're wasting your time,

Closed minds.

No, I can believe that something like acupuncture can have some merit.

But just because I can't entertain the idea that sitting under a plastic

can cure your piles doesn't mean I've got a closed mind.

That means that you are gullible.

Excuse me? Plastic pyramids and piles? You're making this up.

Oh, OK.

What about that guy who came round the other week with his shiny stone?

Energy crystals.

They give out the positive and take away the negative.

You get naked and place them on various parts of your body.

Add a few bedding plants and, hey, you're a rockery.

I think we should stop this conversation now before I smack you in the gob. Oh,

very new age.

Three guesses.

What? Who is it?

Ron. How long were you away? A day and a half?

Five times he's popped round already.

He's got the raging heart for Kate.

He keeps asking me back to his pad.

Oh, he doesn't say pad.

Well, he watches a lot of cable. It's all those shows from the 70s.

Look, Kate, try and cut Ron some slack.

He's going through a really bad divorce at the moment. He's not himself.

Sorry, I just find him boring.

I like a man who can make me laugh, not make me sleep.

Hi, all.

I was just sitting alone in my... Flat.

Pad, Gary, pad.

About to sample this saucy little vintage when I thought, hey, why drink

when I can share it with friends?

Good job I did. Gary's back.

Looks like we've got ourselves a foursome.

Yeah, well, let's just start with the wine, shall we?

Good idea, Gaz. Get a bit of a party atmosphere going. I'll just go and get

glasses, shall I?

Right, we're off down the wine bar. What? Have a word with him, Gary. Make

understand that Kate is not interested.

But you can't just go. Yes, we can. Come on, Kate.

Ron. No need to explain.

The sound of crumpets stampeding towards the exit shortly after yours truly

entered the room has become something of a familiar sound of late.

Don't be so hard on yourself.

Hard on myself?

It's life turning the thumbscrews.

Well, it's really good to see you, mate.

Thanks. I need some more wartime currency.

You had me fooled there, Gaz.

I thought you were referring to me, the person, as opposed to me, the 1940s cash

pointer. Sorry, mate. It's just that... Well, I'm right out.

Yeah, well, I'm sorry too. I can't help you.

Well, don't be like that.

My life is meaningless.

I just don't want to think about work.

I never thought I'd hear myself say this, but I've lost the will to print.

No, Ron, you're being irrational. Your life is not meaningless.

I've lost my wife, my home, half the value of my business.

I finally meet Kate, a bird I really, really fancy, and all she sees is a

git.

Well, that is nonsense.

She was just saying, how much you make her laugh.

I'm sure I do. I just like to be in the same room when she does it.

Kate is very interested.

They just had to...

What's going on?

You are despicable.

You are just lying to me so I will go and print your money.

Well, I wouldn't do it now if you're the last time to have that in the cookie

jar.

Do you honestly think I would do that?

So she fancies me, does she?

Desperate for my body, is she?

I'm sure of it.

All right, I'll do you a deal.

I'll ask Kate on a date. If she says yes, I'll print your money for you. But

I make a prat of myself, you'll have to consult Yellow Pages for a new forger.

Do I look worried?

All

right,

can I have a quick pint of... Shut your eyes.

No. Shut your eyes and hold out your hands.

I've got a surprise for you.

It's wallpaper.

So it is.

Cool. I thought you'd be pleased.

That stuff's harder to come by than an alarm clock.

And again, an alarm clock's easier to get hold of than a hot water bottle.

Mind you, a hot water bottle... Red.

Cost a pretty penny, but you said yesterday money was no object.

It's like the stuff my grandma used to have. She was old ago, wasn't she?

Don't you think it's okay?

Okay is such a strong word, isn't it?

It's a nice chocolate brown paint to go with it.

It should make all the difference.

Where did you get all this stuff?

Charlie Harris, local spiv.

Black Market?

Reg is a policeman.

So is Charlie Harris.

Reg has laid out a fair few bob for this lot. You'll have to reimburse him.

Oh. Um, well, I won't be able to do that right away. I'm temporarily short of

cash, you see.

Well, the pay can be a bit erratic in the Secret Service, you know, because

tend to leave it hidden in hollow trees, and sometimes it takes a long time to

find the right tree.

Phoebe, I'm joking.

Well, you should have made sure you had it before you went on about Harrods and

money being no object.

You don't have to impress me, you know. I wasn't doing it to impress you.

I know how you like to put on a bit of twang.

But I married you because I love you, not because of your money.

No, I can't afford it. I'll have all the money I need to.

Well, you'd better tell Reg you'll have to wait.

He used the money he'd saved for Margie's birthday present.

Oh, he didn't? He did.

Reg?

Um, Reg, I'm sorry.

I've got a bit of a cash problem.

It's only temporary, but it means I won't be able to reimburse you for the

and paint straight away.

Oh, I see.

When's Margie's birthday?

Next week. Oh, well, she'll be OK by then. Well, not to worry, son.

Worst comes to worst, I can always wrap up a tin of paint.

Mind you, she won't be at me. She won't do the handbag.

Well, Phoebe, don't look at me like that. I was...

Ron will be popping

round in a while.

Oh. Oh, come on, Kate. I don't think you're giving him a fair chance.

Now, I know Yvonne's got a downer on him, but she only got Stella's side of

divorce, so her view's bound to be jaundiced.

I mean it. He is a kind, gentle, funny man.

Honestly,

he said something to me yesterday.

Had me in stitches.

What did he say?

You had to be there.

He was very witty and of the moment, you know, wouldn't stand a repeat.

Oh, talk of the devil.

Come on, mate, come on in.

We were just talking about you.

Only good things, I hope.

I'm just going to make myself a coffee.

I bet you're right.

Bearing the ground for you, she is definitely keen. You play your cards

it's going to be a breeze.

I certainly hope so.

Ron, have you been drinking?

Just a little Scotch courage.

All right, give me the three golden rules.

One, be interesting.

Two, don't mention my pad.

Three, don't put my hand up her blouse unless she's specifically asked me to.

All right, well, I've done all I can.

You're on your own.

Um, Kate, I'm off now.

I've got to go to the shop.

But Ron won't be back for a couple of hours.

Oh, that's all right. Ron will entertain you. Bye.

Alone at last.

Look, Ron... You know...

We should have a lot to talk about, you and I.

Really? Oh, yes. Both our professions being dependent on the printed word.

Well, I don't really get involved in the mechanics. I just tap my stories into

the computer.

Oh, yes.

The ubiquitous computer.

You know,

personally, I feel that the demise of the old hot metal press was a crying

shame. It had a romance all of its own.

Did it? Oh, yes.

In fact, the whole history of the printed word is a fascinating one.

From the introduction by the Chinese of the single wooden block in the 6th

century to their invention of movable type in the 11th.

Of course, it took another three centuries for it to reach Europe.

That was when John Gutenberg... I'm going on a bit, aren't I?

I'm just going to finish making that coffee.

Say, Wheatcroft, you must know something interesting.

Hey, Kate, did you know Gary was a time traveller?

Hi. Hello, Gary.

Hello, Gary.

Rowan's gone, is he?

Yeah. Oh, thanks.

So, you're a time traveller, then?

portal in the back of your shop, which you go through and have adventures in

wartime London.

Ron told Kate everything.

Who knows?

He's got to be on something.

God knows what it is, but the street value must be incredible.

Absolutely.

Excuse me, I need the toilet.

Why did you do that?

Kate is a journalist.

Not only that, she is a journalist who believes in crop circles.

Anyone who thinks that an alien civilisation would cross the vastness of

just to make meaningless patterns in arable crop might just have believed you

enough to set some sort of track for me.

Rob, I could have been a headline in the Daily Sport along with Budgie Eats

None.

Who possessed you? I was desperate.

You were drunk. I was losing her.

Her eyes were glazing over. Bits of her were going rigid with boredom.

Now you're just exaggerating. I know the signs. I've been boring women since I

was 16.

Oh, well, congratulations.

Because now she just doesn't think you're boring. She thinks you're mad as

What was the logic involved?

Why did you think that... Telling her about me would help you. Did you think

you'd become interesting by association?

It worked for Jimmy Olsen.

He was just another newspaper photographer until he became Superman's

I'll bet if you know the man in tight, you don't sleep alone.

I think we need to take a little dip in Lake Reel.

All right, then, five bellies.

Who'd take any notice of him if it wasn't for Gather?

And that's your role model, is it?

An overweight, beer -swilling bot?

He is your role model, isn't he?

Well, you know what really hurts?

You nearly blew my whole world apart. You're not even sorry.

Why should I be? It's all your fault.

And how do you make that up?

If you hadn't lied to me and told me she fancied me, I wouldn't have been there

making a prat of myself in the first place.

I didn't lie. I just took a positive angle.

Now I come to think of it, quite a lot could be your fault.

Before I met you, I had a thriving business, a happy marriage. It's all

now.

Maybe if I hadn't spent so long concentrating on your oh -so

I wouldn't have neglected my own.

Oh, don't be ridiculous.

No, that's true.

All this time, I've been blaming myself, thinking I was some sort of tosser,

when all along, you were the tosser. Yeah, I like that.

Ron, this is neither fair nor healthy. Look, if your life is going to move on,

you've got to accept... And what would you know?

Tosser.

All right.

All right, if it makes you feel better, I'm the tosser.

No, I think it would be best all round if you just gave me my white fivers and

leave. I'll speak to you again when you're sober.

Oh, no, no, no, no.

I said you could have the money if I got a date with Kate.

No, Ron, I need it.

I'm going back there tonight. I must have some cash.

So get a job.

Who says I'm not funny?

Ron, mate, you're off your face. You're not making any sense.

Oh, yes, I am.

No Kate, no date, no dosh.

Don't give my pasting brush down here, have I?

Rich, is there actually any paint on the walls?

I suppose it did splash a bit.

Between you and me and the gatepost, I reckon Charlie Harris has walked with it

down. Has he now? I think I'll do the same to his next pint of mild.

How's it going up there?

Job's speeded up considerably. Now the flour and wallpaper paste mix -up's been

resolved. Thanks for pointing that out.

I'm really sorry you've been left out of pocket.

I'll give it to you myself, only I haven't got it to spare.

Don't worry about it. Gary'll come up trumps. He always does.

Yeah. I was a bit hard on him, wasn't I?

If I turn out to be a nag like my dad, you'll let me know, won't you? If anyone

could be a nag like your dad was, shocker he was, on and on he'd go, then

and on again for hours on end.

Really got on my nerves, he did.

OK, Reg, it is my dad we're talking about.

Sorry. Well, I'd better get on. Standing here chin -wagging won't get more

pastebrush found.

Reg!

It's funny when we confronted Gary.

He was hilarious.

No, I mean funny odd.

How did he look to you?

Oh, he looked shocked.

He was, wasn't he?

Why?

Someone accused me of being a time traveller. Well, it's as bizarre as

telling you... Andrew Lloyd Webber's a sex god.

Exactly.

Gary should have looked bemused.

But instead he looked caught out.

What are you trying to say?

You don't think he really could be, do you? Are you sure you've only had one

glass? Think about it for me.

It'll explain an awful lot.

His constant trips away. To collected fares. His endless supply of pristine

wartime artefacts. Which he gets from collected fares. No, no, it's too

A good journalist always digs deeper.

I've got a feeling about this.

There was a similar case in the Fortean Times. Hang on a minute. Are you

seriously trying to suggest that my husband is a time traveller?

No. I'm glad to hear it.

What if he was, though?

Okay! We could find out for sure. He said he was going away again tonight,

didn't he? So?

So let's get his spare keys, hide in the shop and see if he turns up. No way.

Gary'd laugh for a month if he found out. But if he isn't a time traveller,

won't have to go back to the shop and he won't find out, will he?

Oh, come on.

It'll be a giggle.

This is mad.

How did I let you talk me into this? Give it time. You never know.

Wish I'd brought the wine.

Lush.

Well, where?

Well, he must have gone through the gate.

No, he can't have done it. It's all padlock.

He didn't have the time.

Well, he's got to be with someone.

It's true, Yvonne.

Your husband is a time traveller.

Shall we give it a go?

Agent Mulder?

Oh, I told you you were gullible, didn't I? No, all right, Gary. Please don't go

on. Thank you very much.

So, you actually thought I was a time traveller? How did you know we were in

shop? I saw your car parked outside.

It's fairly easy to spot. It's the only fiesta I know with an I've been

kidnapped by aliens sticker in the back.

Hang on a minute.

This whole thing wasn't a set -up, was it?

Yeah. Yeah, it was. I just popped back on the off chance that you'd go for it.

That means I'd be made a fool of by wrong wheat crop.

He was brilliant, wasn't he? What an actor. He had you hook, lay line and

sinker. He played that drunken, boring idiot part to a tee just so you wouldn't

see him baiting the hook.

I told you, Kate, you misjudged that man. He's a laugh, all right. He

had me fooled.

Well, how about a little date with him?

Yeah, one date won't do any harm.

Can I use your phone?

Kate, I really think... No, no, no, come along, Yvonne. I think we should let

Kate sort out her own love life, don't you?

After all, you wouldn't want this story repeated to, say, everyone we know,

would you?

Who would have thought an ordinary commoner garden little bloke like me

get to shop in Harrods?

It's only a shop.

Are you sure we're allowed in here?

It's only a shop.

Thank you so much, Your Ladyship. We're delighted to have been of service to

you.

I'm not comfortable.

Even a sales staff found that royalty.

Yeah, did you see when we come through that food hall?

They had coconuts.

I'm torn now. My Marjorie's got a soft spot for a coconut. I don't know whether

to get her one of them instead of a handbag.

Oh, a handbag, I think, Marjorie. Looks less conspicuous with evening wear.

Oh, what the hell.

Go on, get a boat. Oh, no, I can't take any more. Look, it's a thank you for

doing the nursery. You did a great job.

Thanks.

A handbag and a coconut.

Oh, it's going to be a birth date to remember this one.

I'll meet you back here, then, shall I?

OK, fine.

on then. Have a look round.

Are you sure that's all right?

I know.

It's only a shop.

These are lovely, aren't they?

Very cute.

Oh, look at those cots.

Bleeding. Hell, you could buy a car for that.

No wonder.

Is Madam quite sure she has sufficient wherewithal for this particular item?

Beg pardon?

It's very expensive.

May I suggest that Madam will be more at home with the seconds in our remainders

department?

I want to go.

Oh, I don't think there are any on this floor.

No, I want to go home.

Why?

I don't belong here.

Who's upset you?

All right, just wait here.

Excuse me, Garth, can I have a word in your shell -like?

You see, me and the travelling strife, we've come up west on the chariot, get a

few bits and pieces for our new saltpainly, right?

But if you continue to give my ball and chain grief, we're going to have to get

on our plates of meat and take our business up the frog and toad.

Well, no skin off my wotsit.

Current bums out, it's a lovely guy for a bowl of choke.

I'm afraid I don't quite follow you.

Then let me use a language I'm sure you will understand.

I am prepared to spend a thin amount of it, but only if my good lady is fawned

over, grobbled at and generally made to feel like the lady she is.

Petrol coupons.

Am I making myself clear now?

Perfectly, sir.

Madam, allow me to apologise for the earlier misunderstanding.

Please be assured I am at your disposal just as long as you need me.

Now, if madam will be so kind as to tell me what she's looking for, I will have

the items brought over immediately for your perusal.

Eat your heart out, Richard Gere.

Nice touch.

Meat and sugar coupons.

This'll all have to stop when Mr Al -Fahad takes over, you know.

You see my dinner jacket?

Are you going somewhere special?

Yeah, 21st birthday party. Whose?

Winston Churchill's.

How long are you going to keep this up?

Ooh, ages, I think.

No, really, where are you going today?

I've got a collector's fair in Meigsborough.

Or maybe not.

Well, if you're staying overnight, give me a ring. Yeah, of course I will.

If I can find a phone box in the blackout.

You know, I'd get a mobile, but they weren't around in the 40s, and half a

century's a long time to wait for a dialing tone, isn't it?

Why don't you get a mobile?

Huh?

I could bring you whenever I wanted, then.

I don't like them.

No, they reckon they give up radiation. You know, it's very bad for your head.

Bish. I've seen the research.

Where?

In newspapers.

Look, why are we having this conversation?

Well, you started it.

Anyway, I haven't got time. I've got to go.

All right.

Bye. Bye.

See what happens when you start getting cocky?

Good night, sweetheart Sleep will banish sorrow

Good night, sweetheart Till we meet

tomorrow