Original subtitles

Good night, sweetheart.

All my prayers are for you.

Good night, sweetheart.

I'll be watching all you.

Tears and cutting may make us alone.

You're feeling fit in yourself?

Yeah, fantastic. Never felt better.

Good, good.

No morning sickness?

Well, it depends on what's the first thing I see when I open my eyes. If it's

Gary.

Your blood pressure is perfect, like the rest of you.

Great. Do you hear that, Gary?

Is that V -A -T or B -S -E?

It's what?

That bottom line, I can't make it out. I think I may need glasses, you know.

You're not supposed to be able to read that line. It's the printer's name.

But if I may be so bold, pregnancy suits you.

Your complexion is flawless.

Your lips have an almost luscious fullness.

She got stung on the mouth last Saturday.

Your hair is shinier and bouncier than I've ever seen it.

Would you like me to walk around the block for half an hour?

You know, while you two break all the rules on doctor -patient intimacy.

Dr. Yakovits is just being pleasant.

You're a very lucky young man.

Your wife could be sickly and run down.

Instead, it's my husband who's sickly and run down.

Really? He's off his food, he's sleeping badly, his libido's gone absent without

leave. Don, please, this is personal stuff.

He's a doctor, let him help you.

Would you like me to give you a brief examination?

My briefs don't need examining, thank you very much.

Perhaps a little pick -me -up? He doesn't need a pick -me -up. He needs to

it up.

Yvonne!

Perhaps I should take his blood pressure while he's here. I don't need my blood

pressure taken.

Hate it when that thing tightens round your arm.

Bound to send your blood pressure through the roof. It's like being

a boa constrictor.

Gary, calm down.

Pregnancy can be a very stressful time for the father as much as for the

You'll pull through, Mr Sparrow.

After all, there's nothing unique about your situation, is there?

I spoke to the midwife about home delivery.

She said she'll call you.

Great. Oh, it's something I've been meaning to talk to you about, Gary. Does

bother you at all?

Home delivery?

No, great idea. Save lugging all those heavy nappies back from the supermarket.

Home delivery of the baby, Gary.

You want a...

I think I'd better take my blood pressure.

You sit down.

Put your feet up and I'll make you a nice cup of tea.

Anyone spot the deliberate mistake?

I'm sorry, Vaughan. I just don't think I could ever enjoy marital intimacy in

our bed again.

Not once it's been used as an outhouse of the maternity unit.

We'll hire one of those birthing pools.

Fill it full of tepid water. We all get in.

All? Me, the obstetrician, the midwife.

You can hire an underwater video camera and use your scuba gear.

No, look, everyone knows that babies are supposed to be born in hospital.

Pregnancy is not an illness.

Then why do I feel sick?

If you ask me, you're suffering from a severe case of denial.

I'm not.

What I am suffering from is dangerously high blood pressure. You saw.

It's just psychosomatic. You get yourself all wound up.

Here, let me release your safety valve.

What are you doing?

Practising sofa sex.

No, no, I'm sorry. I'm not in the mood.

Tell me about it. I'm sorry.

No, I'm sorry.

What is it?

Oh, just things.

What sort of things?

I don't know.

You worried about me giving up work?

Oh, it's not so much that. I just...

You're giving up work?

I thought you were going to go part -time.

Well, I've been thinking about it. Maybe when the baby arrives, I want to spend

all my time with him or her.

Oh, oh, right, yes, yes, I can see that, yeah.

Well, I suppose we'd manage.

Obviously, I'd have to work a lot harder, you know, put in some really

hours. Spending even more time away at collector's fairs and so on.

Well... You're not looking for an excuse to spend more time away, are you?

Of course not. Because there is an alternative to spending 70 hours a week

selling scratch Flanagan and Allen records.

There's a job at Sim Young you could stroll into.

I am not going back to being blue -collar, Yvonne. The collar is white.

We need a dynamic production manager at the new factory in Wembley. Just think,

you could cycle to work. You could come home for lunch.

You'd earn far more than you get from the shop for half the hassle.

They're going to make digital flat -screen televisions, Gary.

Remember how turned on you used to get about digital black screen televisions?

The very phrase had aphrodisiac qualities for you.

Don't be silly.

Silly? You're the man who used to lock himself in the toilet with a Bang &

Olufsen catalogue.

No, there'd be hundreds of people after a job like that. Of course, but I could

swing it for you. I have the power.

Oh, right, yes. And then I would have to be permanently grateful to you,

wouldn't I?

That would completely destroy the balance of power within our marriage and

would be the final nail in the coffin of our sex life.

You mean it's not already dead and buried?

I don't want to go back to being an employee, Yvonne.

I like being my own boss. I like being able to come and go as I please. It's

important to me.

It's bound up with my feeling of wholeness.

What's Blockbuster's got to do with it?

Not Bob wholeness.

I'm sorry.

OK, you do what feels right for you, as long as when the baby arrives, we get to

spend some quality time together.

Well, of course we will. Real quality time.

Time of the highest imaginable quality.

Time of such quality, they'll sell it in Harrods, I promise.

No, look, I really ought to get back to the shop.

I thought we might have a bit of lunch together.

No, I'll grab a pint of pint in the Royal Oak, don't worry about me.

Bye.

I'm not worried, Gary.

I sometimes wonder what the Royal Oak's got that I haven't.

You smell different.

Is that the expensive scent that Gary gave you?

No. I've just broken a jar of pickled eggs, Reg.

Very nice.

Well, I'd better get back on point, Judy.

I'll see you later.

Bye.

Where do you spring from?

I see the RAF gave Hamburg a hell of a posting the other night.

Still, never mind. They get the Beatles in 20 years' time to make up for it.

Please, not distract an officer of his majesty in the pursuance of his duties.

Keeping a traffic flow is a major contribution to the war effort.

Whatever you say, Raj.

There you are.

Fancy getting run over by two nippers in a homemade go -kart.

A what?

You can laugh. They must have been doing five miles an hour, minimum.

Never mind, Reg.

Have a meat pie.

Now, I've got lamb and apricot, venison and cranberry, or pork and prune. Stop

it, Gary.

You still feeling queasy? A bit.

How about you, Reg? I'm not queasy, Gary, but then again, I'm not expecting.

I mean, do you fancy a pie?

You're joking.

Meat and fruit in the same crust, in natural.

Well, I know, but there's a war on, you see. We've got to make do.

Oh, well, if it's a matter of patriotism.

Dip, dip, dip, my little ship.

Sails on the walk, they'll like a cup of sauce.

Oh, I've got something for you. Here.

What are they?

Multivitamins with sea kelp and essential fish oils.

What are they supposed to do, make me a better swimmer?

No, I just thought, well, as long as you don't feel like eating.

And how can they be essential fish oils?

I've never had him before and I'm still around.

You're under the weather, though. I do worry about you. Everyone gets a spot of

morning sickness.

It's just across I've got a bear.

Like the budget.

What budget? The Chancellor calls it his sacrifices for victory budget.

Tuppence on a pint of beer, five bob on a bottle of scotch, four pence on 20

fags. Not anyone we know can afford to buy 20 at a time.

But the worst thing is they're banning lace and embroidery on women's

Just when I was going to treat myself to some pretty things when I'm bigger.

With all due respect, Phoebe, that is not the worst thing.

I mean, you don't need lace and such like on your nightly. But as for the

Chancellor saying you can't have a pocket on your pyjamas anymore, I mean,

am I going to keep my anky when I'm in bed?

Broke my heart having to cut the pockets off all my gym jams.

I'd better get back on point, if it wasn't a traffic jam.

Hey, babe, take a walk on the wild side.

I like the sound of that.

Spy talk, eh?

Mum's the word, Reg.

Mum really is the word, isn't it?

Well, come on, then. Take your vitamin.

And I thought I'd ask you to give up smoking.

You did. I tried. I couldn't.

Anyway, it's my only pleasure these days. You're hardly ever here.

My country needs me, Phoebe. You've heard what's going on out in the Far

I know, but don't make it any easier for me.

Bloody jacks.

Anyway, I'm back now, so smoking doesn't have to be your only pleasure.

Gary, I've told you that is off the menu until after the baby's born. Why?

You know why.

I'm scared we might hurt it with all the... I promise you it's perfectly

They've done research.

You're bound to say that. You're a man.

All right, if you don't believe me, ask your friends.

It's my friends who tick me the wink.

Well, I tell you what does harm the baby. Smoking harms the baby.

How can it, you soppy ape -worth? They proved it in the 60s. In America, the

women who smoke give birth to smaller babies.

Well, looking on the bright side, it'll hurt less when he's born, won't it?

It's weird.

Phoebe's gone right off it, so I fancy her more than ever.

Whereas Yvonne is rampant and it just doesn't turn me on.

What do you think?

What I want to know is what sort of mind dreamed up pork and prune pie filling?

Ron, you're not listening.

Of course I'm not listening, Gary.

You see, before you, a man who gets his leg over about as often as Long John

Silver in The High Hurdles.

Don't look to me for sympathy.

I think what's really doing my head in is wondering how I'm going to cope with

having two families to support.

You've made your beds, now you've got to lie in them.

But I'm only one man, Ron.

It was tough enough when I had two healthy, affectionate women to satisfy.

They call him Mr Pitiful.

But I kept them happy. You kept your hand up.

You babies.

Just not equipped.

I would have thought your equipment was the least of your problems.

Talking of equipment, what is this? One of those Peter Pumpers.

DIY blood pressure kit.

It was a bit high at the doctor's this morning, so I thought I'd better keep it

under observation.

Oh, well, as long as you're not turning into a hypochondriac.

Anyway, Gary, having two babies won't make much difference.

You'll still be able to flip between two eras. It'll just be much, much, much

more knackery. It's not that simple.

Yvonne wants to give up work and become a full -time mother.

It's very laudable.

Totally in line with all party thinking on the family.

Plus, she wants me to give up this shop and get a proper job.

Ah, exactly.

But the fact is, Yvonne is right.

If she gives up her work, I don't think this shop will keep the three of us. Oh,

you mean the five of you.

Ron, please.

Don't forget all those little black market treats you take back for Phoebe.

Not forgetting the imminent war, baby. I wasn't forgetting.

Although, talking of said baby, we should remember that he or she is

walking around today disguised as a 55 -year -old.

In fact, as we speak, he or she may well be contemplating early retirement.

Ron, my blood pressure!

Look, look, see, it's 140 over 90.

Indicating what?

Indicating that I'm perfectly healthy. I'm going to take that back to the shop.

Of course, you wouldn't have to be financially embarrassed if you were

to exploit your uncanny powers.

Trip or two to wartime dog tracks, for instance.

No, I have been given this unique ability and I don't want to abuse it. If

start messing with history, history might start messing with me.

You don't think having a child twice your age counts as messing?

OK. Forget gambling.

What about antiques?

Oh, it'll do wonders for my wartime street cred if I'm seen staggering down

Duckett's Passage with a handcart full of heirlooms.

Right, something smaller, then. A Fabergé egg.

Have to be a Fabergé powdered egg.

I am trying to help here, Gary.

I know.

Time pieces.

I've just done a catalogue for an auction of collectible examples of the

horologist's art to be held next month. The reserve prices are in thousands of

pounds. And you wouldn't call bringing back old watches messing with time?

Look, mate, if you want to keep this shop, you've got to prove to Yvonne that

can make some serious money.

Hi, Rog.

Hi, Phoebe.

Is she all right? As far as I know, she went off shopping.

Oh, what for?

Whatever she could get.

Usual? Oh, cheers.

Hold on, I haven't given it to you yet.

No, I just meant... Cheers.

That's better.

You haven't got any of those pies left, have you?

No. Well, thank heavens for that. I had a real jippy tummy after that venison

and cranberry.

Oh, I'm sorry.

What did you do for it? Sat on the toilet for an hour and a half.

Of course.

Mind you, might not have been the pie, might have been my mini.

Well, she cooked something that disagreed with you.

Cooked for me? You must be joking.

No, I just had a bit of a shock when I come off duty and found her upstairs

these four strapping fellas.

And that was a shock, was it?

What a shock was, she was on the level this time.

Really? Yeah.

Seems they've been sent round by the billeting office for temporary

accommodation till they ship out.

Oh, they're sailors.

That's right. They don't speak much English.

Minnie says they're members of the Free Czechoslovakian Navy.

Good -looking chaps, well -built. They've really taken to my Minnie.

Deary me what they won't do for her.

So, I'm letting them stay till the weekend with my blessing. Well, at least

can do, innit? Well, I suppose so.

Red, you do know that Czechoslovakia doesn't have a coastline?

Really?

Makes you wonder where they keep their shits, doesn't it?

Can I use your phone? You help yourself.

OK.

What's this, then?

The Times.

Where's the news, then?

It's on the inside.

Why don't they put it on the front, like the other papers?

It's considered vulgar.

Well, pardon me, but they're all the same when they're hung on a hook in the

privy.

Oh, yes, good afternoon. Classified desk?

Yes, I wonder if I might just place a small advertisement.

Yes, it's instant cash paid for top -quality Swiss watches.

I don't care if it does sound vulgar. That's my ad. That's what I want to say.

Yes.

Yes, it's Stepney Green 2787.

Stepney.

In the East End.

Of London. You got a problem with that?

Yeah, OK, well, I'll give you my access number.

It's... No, no, um... I'll send you a cheque.

Oh, all right, a postal order.

Talking about the cheques, did you know they haven't got a coastline, but they

do have a navy?

Amazing, eh?

It's a wonder to me they haven't asked you on the brains trust, Reg.

Yeah, I couldn't help overhearing you were in the market for watches.

Well, you couldn't help overhearing on account that you were earwigging. I am a

serving policeman in a country at war. It is my duty to be alert and observant.

And if you're on the lookout for watches... Is it reliable?

No.

Swiss? Well, not exactly.

Valuable? Chain cost half a crown.

Sorry, Rich.

It's all right. I don't want to sell it.

Then why offer it?

I'm a patriot.

I think the word's pronounced pillock, Rich.

I'm assuming if you want watches, it's got something to do with a war effort

our implacable pursuit of total victory.

You know what, Reg? You've hit the nail right on the head.

Makes a change.

Keep it under your helmet, but we're looking for watches to equip our agents

when we drop them behind enemy lines.

What, they break?

No, we drop the agents wearing the watches.

Oh, with you.

Shows foresight, that does.

Reg, there seems to be a bit of a traffic jam at the bar.

Stay no more.

He only had his brain, eh?

You look tired. I'm all in. I've been everywhere.

No -one's got any lingerie at all.

Those spits must have snapped everything up.

Why does everything have to be so blooming grim?

Everything? I know you think you're God's gift, but right now I'm not in the

mood. Well, maybe I can cheer you up.

Ta -da!

Gary! You always manage to get things other men can't get hold of.

If only.

This isn't maternity wear.

No.

But, you know, it'll be months before you really... I thought, meanwhile, they

might cheer you up. Well, cheer us both up.

Meaning what, exactly?

Well, I was just wondering if maybe later on you'd like to model them for

You don't stop trying, do you?

I'm sorry.

Don't get all fed up, Gary.

It'll be all right once the baby's born.

No, it won't.

There'll be sleepless nights, 3am feeds... Colic, teething, dirty nappies

change. I wouldn't expect you to change nappies or get up in the middle of the

night. That's woman's work.

Well, then you'd be even more knackered.

Gary, language.

Be lucky if we do it again this side of D -Day.

What's D -Day?

Oh, um, forget I spoke.

Careless talk.

You know I really do love you, don't you?

Yeah. Of course.

And you love me, don't you?

You know I do.

Only you don't seem to say it much lately.

Phoebe, of course I love you.

More than anyone else in the world?

More than anyone else alive.

I didn't know you'd taken up smoking.

Neither did I.

Phoebe, I've got to put on a new barrel.

And I'm sure you'll look lovely in it, Reg.

You know, you're in the spare room.

What are you doing?

Milking a goat. What do you think?

I thought we were going to assemble that together.

I decided I was capable of doing it on my own, like most things these days.

Yeah, well, I'm sorry if I was a bit pathetic this morning. A bit?

Well, it looks really, really good.

Are you trying to sweet -talk your way into my good books?

More into your underwear.

You'll get sued here.

Come on.

You've been smoking.

Well, just one or two.

You don't deny it?

Well, I am a grown -up. But you don't smoke.

Well, I can't have been smoking then, can I? You've had a drink too, haven't

you? I've been under a lot of pressure.

I think you're going to be a bit pathetic again and I suppose it's all my

Yeah, well... Well what?

Oh, come on.

You announce you're pregnant, you announce you're going to give up your

then you announce you've got me an interview and I've got to give up the

Well, it's Thursday, by the way.

No, it isn't.

The interview is Thursday, 2 .30.

There, you see?

Stop trying to run my life, will you? Well, someone's got to. You'll stay in

that dead -end shop until you turn into a relic yourself.

It'll never make any real money, Gary.

Well, that's where you're wrong. Because I'm on the verge of a very big deal. A

life -changing deal.

Oh, yeah?

She responded cynically.

What sort of deal?

What does the word Chippendale mean to you?

You, a Chippendale with your chest.

Chippendale Antiques.

See, I met this chap and he said if I can get hold of some really... Gary,

the hell do you think you're doing around the baby?

What baby?

Our baby.

The unborn child can suffer from passive smoking too, you know. Come on.

I mean it.

And it's untipped. You're trying to kill yourself in double quick time.

It hasn't even got a health warning.

You're smoking the stock.

Look, I'm under a lot of pressure. I know, the record's stuck.

Look, OK, OK, look, why don't we just... Yeah, go downstairs, have a glass of

wine, relax, put on feet up, eh?

Don't get romantic with me, Gary.

Not with your lungs full of 50 -year -old smoke and your hair smelling like a

cheap East End pub.

So I suppose a bunk -up's out the question, then.

Oh, Gary, am I pleased to see you.

Oh, really? Come behind the bar and give us a hand till Reg gets here, will you?

Oh, all right.

As long as no -one expects me to make them any fancy cocktails or anything.

Right.

Er, yes, please. At last.

Right, three light ales, bottle of brown, a scotch, and a port and lemon

lovely lady.

Oh, no, honestly, love, I've got enough drinks already.

Look.

I don't know why I'm so popular tonight.

Think I can hazard a guess?

Hello, boys.

What? That's the bra I bought you, isn't it?

It's ever such a snug fit.

Ah, well, maybe when the pub's quietened down, I can help you adjust it.

I don't think we should start something we can't finish, Gary.

No.

Bye -bye, boys.

Oh, I nearly forgot. You had a phone call in response to your insertion in

Times.

Nice word, insertion.

He said he had a watch that might appeal to you, so I told him to bring it

round. Oh, good girl. Thanks.

All right. Uh, Phoebe, how much is all this fun?

Uh, three in Thropp and St. Lee, love.

Oh, how much?

Bloody budget.

Pardon my French, love.

Granted.

What a doll.

How do you manage to get a sort like that and keep out a uniform?

Flat feet.

Only thing's flat round here, eh?

Uh, Father Beth, please.

Father Beth.

And I wonder if Mr Sparrow is about.

Yeah. Hi, Mr Sparrow.

Oh. Yes, love.

Quite a mile, please, and have one yourself.

Thanks, but I've got plenty.

So,

you saw my advertisement?

Yes.

I don't want to seem disrespectful, but how can a barman afford a fine Swiss

timepiece? I hope I haven't come all the way from Pimlico in a wild goose check.

Don't worry. I've been saving up.

Because it's a very difficult time for me.

My auntie lost her life in the Blitz, and she left me her Patek Philippe dress

watch. Well, I wouldn't dream of parting with it, but my wife's in poor health.

Oh, I understand.

Do you have it with you? No.

I wouldn't dream of taking it out of the safe until I was sure I found a genuine

buyer, someone who would cherish it.

How much? 75 quid. I mean, I couldn't accept less than 75

pounds.

Well,

there's 50 on account. You'll get the rest when I get the watch.

Oh, um, I shall return before closing time.

I'd love to see your money.

No, I think he's on the level.

You want to bet?

Well, don't mind.

Ten bob says you'll never see him again.

Wasn't thinking of a money bet.

Oh.

So what were you thinking of as if I couldn't guess?

Well, I was just wondering if maybe later on... Didn't have to be quite so

quick. Um, maybe somewhere a little more, um, private.

Um, well, there.

Oh, yeah.

Sorry I'm late, Phoebe. There was a hell of a flap on at the station.

They wouldn't tell me what about.

Tommy?

Tommy Kingdom!

Push off, Rach.

Ah. In your advertisement, you said you were looking for watches.

In the plural?

Yeah. Why?

You've obviously suffered more than your fair share of family tragedy.

So? This is how you dress on your night's off, is it, Tommy?

You wouldn't believe this man has just been promoted to Chief Inspector at

Scotland Yard, would you, Phoebe?

Shut up, you book. Can you believe that me and Tommy were police cadets

together? Hey, Gary, come and meet my old oboe, Chief Inspector Tommy Kingdom.

Hey, hey!

I haven't spoiled an operation, have I, Tommy?

We've been after that fence for months.

Well, no -one told me if you'd have told me.

Well, at least we've got the buyer.

Right, son, I am feeling your collar.

You can't arrest Gary.

He's with the Secret Service.

Louder, Reg. They can't hear you in the snug.

It's this.

Why do the Secret Service want dodgy watches?

Oh.

they're going to drop them behind enemy lines.

All with different times on, so they'll confuse the Germans.

Obviously, I couldn't tell him the real reason.

I see.

Well, I shall need to take that watch as evidence, sir.

What watch?

The white gold Patek Philippe in your pocket, believed to have been stolen

the London flat of the Lord St Oswald.

Well, your fence was obviously one hell of a pickpocket.

Oh, not my day, is it?

Right, I think you and I ought to toddle along to Stepney Green, Nick, and talk

to your station commander, Constable Deadman.

What an apt name.

Poor Reg.

Never mind poor Reg. What about me?

No money, no watch, no nookie?

Oh, don't cheer up, Gary.

Give me one good reason why I should.

On second thoughts, put it back. I'll come and get it later.

Good night, sweetheart.

Sleep will banish sorrow.

Good night, sweetheart.

Till we meet tomorrow.

He taught.