Original subtitles

Good night, sweetheart.

All my prayers are for you.

Good night, sweetheart.

I'll be watching over you.

Tears and crying may make us alone.

But with the dawn, a new day is coming.

Well, don't all rush.

Terry, guess who's here?

Hold on.

I'll give you a clue.

Hey, Mac, what do you say?

What do you know?

Can I fix you a beer?

Well, it's hard to say. They're obviously not human.

The Yanks are here.

Fascinating. Anyway, if I could have a drink. Oh, Terry, I didn't see you

That'd be so exciting.

Been a real breath of fresh air, ain't they, Phoebe?

Oh, I'll say, and they're good for business. I mean, it's like a little bit

Hollywood come to Bethnal Green. I mean, look at them. They're all six -footers

with toothpaste -advert smiles.

They certainly made a big impression on you.

Here, I've got you some chocolate.

Oh, you shouldn't have. The Yanks have brought in tons of candy bars.

And they're so well -mannered.

Yeah, there's a real touch of class about them.

Oh, no, come on. You can accuse the Americans of many things, but class

one of them.

Class! Us is our own royal family, right?

Nothing lad or showy about him. Always the highest standards in public and

private life.

I'll make the most of it, Reg, because it's not going to last.

I thought you'd be pleased to see the Americans, what with all that time you

spent in Hollywood. I mean, I thought you'd be looking forward to chatting to

them about all the stars. Well, yes, of course. Obviously, I'm eager to compare

notes. It's just that, well, right now, I'd quite like a drink.

Have me a time tonight.

And exactly which bit of Hollywood is this one? Dumbo?

Billy Joe, this is my friend Gary.

Pleasure to make your acquaintance.

Billy Joe McCarthy, Braintree, Alabama, U .S. of A.

Gary Sparrow, Whitechapel East 13, United Kingdom.

Gary spends a lot of time in the States, Los Angeles mostly.

From what I hear, the place is crawling with faggoty actors. No offense.

Well, how could they be?

Hey, Zeffirelli!

I'm outside. I'm a little busy.

Get your ass over here, boy.

You spent some time in Los Angeles, and I happen to know that you have, too.

Now, you remember what the colonel told us when we first arrived in this

country? Don't get V .D.? Before that.

He said fraternize with the British and cement Anglo -American relations.

So don't just stand there. Start mixing the cement.

Sorry about the sides. He's a schmuck.

So where'd you stay in L .A.? I rented a house in Beverly Hills just off Sunset.

Oh, nice.

You ever go to the Brown Derby?

Well, I'm not really that interested in horse racing.

That's funny.

Is it? Why?

The Brown Derby's a restaurant.

Oh, yes,

yes, yes. The Brown Derby's a restaurant. I got you those stockings

You're kidding. For you? No charge.

I could always get you stockings.

Yeah, I know.

But these are the very same ones that Betty Grable wears.

Listen, bud, anything you need, Corporal Zeffirelli's the guy to see.

Hey, I got a shipment of pants coming in from the States next week, just like

Walter Pigeon wore on Mrs. Miniver. You interested?

You ought to be.

No, thank you.

These pants, they're not knocked off, are they? Heaven forbid, Constable

Deadman. In that case, you can put me down for a couple of pair. My

in a shocking state.

They all seem to go in the gusset. Don't you find?

He's confused.

He thinks you mean underpants.

He spends a lot of his time confused.

I figured.

Listen, you won't take fashion advice. There must be something else you need.

No, really, there's nothing.

What, are you different from everybody else in this country?

You breathed out nothing except what you get from Uncle Sam.

Face it, this place is on its knees.

Yes, we may be a little battered after having to face up to Hitler for two

on our own. And yes, there may be shortages, but we are certainly not on

knees. And you can tell your friends that this is one Brit that needs nothing

from Uncle Sam, now or ever.

Phoebe, I'm going.

Phoebe, I'm... Archie!

You want me to ask Zeffirelli for what?

Parts for a US Army jeep. You drive a Saab?

Yeah, but my brother Nelson's got a World War II jeep chassis in his lock

He's been meaning to do it up for ages, only he can't get the parts.

Nelson sacrificed his youth to bring me up when my mum and dad died, and I've

been trying to find a way to repay him for ages.

If I could present him with his beloved jeep on his birthday in full working

order, then I think I will have finally found a way to say thank you for

moulding me into the man I am today.

Can't you just get him a pair of socks?

What's the problem? All you've got to do is give this Fellini... No, Zeffirelli.

Yeah, whatever.

All you've got to do is give this guy a list of the parts I need.

Yeah, sorry. Can't go asking favours from him. Not after the way he belittled

this country.

This means a lot to me, Gary.

Yeah, I understand that, but try and say it from my point of view, mate. I'm

taking this stand for Britain.

Oh, come on. The Empire's not going to crumble because you ask an American for

motor spares.

You could see the Yanks with their big, loud voices and their free nylons.

They're so phony. Whereas you, of course, are exactly what you seem.

A secret service agent who, in his spare time, is the world's greatest singer

-songwriter.

That is different.

No, it's not. It is. It isn't. It is. It isn't. It is.

Oh, I could listen for hours. Will you two lock intellectual halls?

It is. It isn't.

I know what your problem with the Yanks is.

They've stolen your thunder.

Suddenly you're not the only exotic stranger in Phoebe's life.

Look, I am not going to ask Zeffirelli for any favours. It'll make me look

stupid. I will not do it and you cannot make me.

But I can.

But you can't. Can't. Can't. Can't. Can't. Can't. Can't. It must be one of

more weightier debates. Let me guess, silicon implants? Can you feel the

difference?

Gary's got some American contacts who can get US war memorabilia, and he won't

get many parts from my brother's jeep. I've told you before, Gary, if you're

going to have your friends around, then you have to play nice.

You're wrong. This is not some childish strop.

I'm not going to deal with these particular Americans because they are

and condescending. Well, they did win the war for us.

Win the war?

It was nearly three years before they even dipped a toe in the Atlantic.

Meanwhile, this country stood alone.

All right, all right, lighten up, for God's sake. It's ancient history.

Not for soon.

Well, I think you're mad if you don't deal with these people.

American stuff's bound to sell. It's better than the junk you've got.

It is not junk.

Oh, come on. Packets of powder that I can hardly compare with American chic.

Oh, yeah. People go big on Americana.

I might be able to get you some business at work. My boss loves it. You know

what the South Koreans are like, the very pro -US.

In that case, I bet he'd be double -chuffed if you could get some genuine

War II paraphernalia.

One of those leather flying jackets, as worn by their bomber pilots, perhaps.

Go down very well come assessment time. Oh, I want one. Talk to these people.

I'm surprised at you.

Presents for your boss. That is blatant brown -nosing.

Go ahead, Yvonne. You listen to Gary.

After all, it was his employment strategy that catapulted him after ten

the ditty heights of... What was it?

TV repairman.

I had my own van.

Make it a medium -sized jacket, Gary.

And it had better be authentic.

What's Zeffirelli's first name?

Um... Dino. Why?

Just wanted a word.

Well, what she doesn't diddly, because he's a bit of an operator.

Oh, don't worry.

When it comes to deals, I've got a few surprises up my sleeve.

He'll be taking a trip to the cleaners. He won't even know it.

Hi, Dino.

Do you want to hold it down? I'm about to become champion here.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Just wanted to discuss some business.

The magic word.

Take over, Kowalski.

I knew you'd change your mind.

Step into my office.

Okay, shoot.

What do you need?

First of all, I need one of those leather flying jackets that your bomber

wear. No problem. There's a new shipment due day after tomorrow.

No, I want one that's been worn.

What are you, crazy?

I'm offering you one that's still in the wrapper.

Look, it gets scary up there. Those guys sweat. After a while, the leather

starts to stink.

I can live here a hundred years, I will not understand you people.

Okay, you weren't old, you got old. But the price is the same.

Now, is that it, or can I get you a used pair of Roosevelt's underpants?

I need jeep parts, new ones.

Okay, progress.

I need a set of plugs.

Head of points, a gearbox, carburetor, set of headlamps, a cylinder head, and

gas. Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Let me see that.

It's going to be easier if I get you a whole Jeep.

No, I can't get a whole Jeep back to the... back to where it's got to go.

What are you talking about?

You can drive it. Look, these ain't like British equipment. They work.

Part all the deals off. Okay, okay.

Now, let's cut to my favorite, the price.

Well, I was wondering if you'd be interested in an exchange of goods.

I'm listening.

Be prepared to be amazed by the latest top -secret British development.

Now, how many times a day do you mislay your keys?

Once? Twice?

Maybe. Well, with this little beauty, those days are over.

Ah! Lost my keys.

No idea where they are.

But there's no need for me to hunt around on the floor on my hands and

go searching down the sides of armchairs.

All I have to do is whistle.

You've never seen anything like that before, have you? It's cute.

Do we have a deal?

Wait, let me get this straight.

You get a flying jacket, enough parts to build your own jeep, and in return, I

get a small noisy thing?

And I can get you as many as you want.

Oh, who do you think I am, Hiawatha?

You think you're trading trinkets with the natives? You British.

Watch my lips.

George Washington beat you.

What you want is going to cost you hard cash.

£60 sterling.

£40. £50.

Done.

You're callid, chaps.

Reg is a policeman. He's trained to be observant. I'm sorry.

You didn't mean to be rude.

Certainly not.

It's just that we've never seen colour boys before.

Oh, that's okay, ma 'am.

Do you know I love it when you yanks call me ma 'am?

What would you like to drink?

Two beers, please.

Coming right up, gents.

Sir, where are you from?

Chicago. You know, it's terrible the way this war drags people miles away from

home. Oh, I don't mind that.

I've always wanted to travel.

Yeah, but I bet you... families, though. Well, families, why, we're in the

neighbourhood. Some of James P's ancestors came from here. Oh, really?

Yeah, my great -grandaddy left here for the States in 1821.

So you think you may have relatives here now?

Oh, I'm hoping so.

Well, what was your great -grandad's name?

Oh, Dedman?

Yeah, Dab Jack Dedman.

Reg, over here, I've got a surprise for you.

Here's to you.

Cousin James.

Here's to you, Cousin Reg.

And let's not forget good old Darth Jack. Yeah, Darth Jack Deadman.

Darth Jack.

So where did Darth Jack go to America in the first place?

Well, the way James tells it, it was a pure accident.

Yeah, yeah, according to Grandma, he just went down to the docks and got on

wrong boat.

But where did he intend to go?

Someplace called Woolwich.

You know, one thing's always got me about that story.

How anyone can accidentally get on a boat bound for an entirely different

continent? No.

Why did they call him Daff Jack?

I was wondering that.

I'll get us some more beers. Let me give you a hand.

Listen, Niles, I don't mean to be rude.

James, I mean, he's a lovely chap and everything.

Dumber than a headless chicken.

He's a real dead man, all right.

Excuse me, will you? Yeah.

Hey, sweet thing.

Billy Joe is back.

Hello, Billy Joe. How are you?

Happier than a hog in mud.

Marvelous.

Hey there, Limey. How you doing?

I'm fine.

You sure don't look fine. You look kind of pasty. All you Limeys look pasty.

It's this goddamn climate. Tell me, you actually ever seen the sun?

Well, I suppose it shines all day, every day. Where is it you're from?

Braindead, Tennessee?

Braintree, mister.

Braintree, Alabama.

Well, well, well, well, well, well, well.

Look what we got here.

What are you doing in here, boy?

I don't see that's any of your concern.

And I ain't nobody's boy.

This here's a white man's bar. I think you should behave yourself, Billy Joe. I

don't want any trouble. Everyone is welcome here.

Well, you know me, sweet thing. I wouldn't cause you no trouble now.

But if you don't mind, I'm just going to get my beer from the other bar where

the air is just a little bit cleaner.

Good old Southern charm gets you right here, doesn't it?

He did everything for me. He was the archetypal big brother.

Strong, dependable.

I'd have been lost without him.

Well, to think of you as the runt of the litter.

Listen, I'm sorry I was so reluctant to get you the part. It's just, well, what

you said was right. Phoebe was so full of the yank, I got a bit jealous and

the plot. I had forgotten.

Gary?

What are you doing here?

Well, the thing is, I owe you an... I owe you an... I think

she's trying to apologise.

The fall of the Berlin Wall, the advent of an electable Labour Party, OJ getting

off, all these things I thought possible, but this...

Is that a carburettor, Ron? Yeah.

Want to eat it, Ron? No, not really.

Gary, can you get any more of those leather jackets?

Probably, yeah, why? Mr Schick showed his to his cousin, who went potty about

it. He's got an Americana shop in Seoul. Now he reckons he can sell them by the

crate load.

He's ordered two dozen for starters.

Hence the apology.

You see, before all this, I dismiss your business as a childish indulgence.

A sort of premature midlife crisis.

You did what? You cow.

I'm sorry, but I thought you knew.

Anyway, the way I see it now, this has fantastic potential.

Of course, it'll mean thinking on a much bigger scale.

I mean, for a start, we'll have to move out of that tacky little shop.

Whoa, now hold on. Don't I get a say in this?

Yes, of course.

When we have a worldwide chain of shops turning over millions, you can say,

thank you, Yvonne.

Oh, I'm happy with things as they are.

Have you no ambition?

With big business comes big excitement, big success and big money, lots of

money. And don't you dare say that money isn't everything.

Two dozen jackets, Gary.

You're going up in the world, whether you like it or not.

I hate it when she gets one of these ambition attacks.

Well, thanks to your leather flying jacket brainwave, she'll now have me

supplying the whole of Southeast Asia.

I'll be so busy collecting memorabilia, I won't have time to see Phoebe.

Yeah, what am I saying? If she makes me sell the shop, I'll never be able to see

Phoebe. Look, can I offer a radical solution?

Yeah, what?

Tell her no!

I've just tried. You saw the effect that didn't have.

She's like something from Alien. The more you go against her, the stronger

gets.

Do you know, it's amazing to think, just a few short months ago, she'd lost her

job, her self -confidence, her very will to live. She was just a clinging husk

of a woman. I know, I know.

Happy days, eh?

Happy bloody days.

let me go for the other guy you love me for.

Don't you know that I heard it through the grapevine.

Gary, that was lovely. Hey, you wrote that?

Yeah, of course he did.

Hey, give me five. Five what?

Uh, five minutes and we'll play some more.

Hey, not bad for a lineman. Listen, if you ever come to the States, you need a

manager? Yeah, I'll know not to ask you.

Hold on. Cousin James is going to play a tune there. Oh, now, this will be

something. James, these things are sweet as blues.

Oh, right.

I'm going to clean into an anonymous box before I know the bugger is saying to

the extinct job.

Fred, this is your doing, isn't it? I just wanted to teach him a Deadman

favourite. Well, that's it.

George Formby, Britain's very own war crime. Oh, no.

James Dean.

James Dean.

Billy Joe, what's all this?

I hope you're going to behave yourself.

Sure. That's why I've got the MPs with me, to keep things nice and peaceful.

Oh, yeah?

You see, the United States Army is a segregated army.

Captain Lawson feels that the Cullards are getting a mad uppity around here,

to avoid any possible friction, we ought to make some separate...

recreational arrangements for the knit -colored troops, like we do back home.

Is that right?

Yeah, that's right. He's spoken with a pastor who's agreed to keep the church

hall open every evening until about 10 o 'clock for these here boys to use.

Nobody uses that hall.

It's dirty.

It's cold. It's horrible.

For you and me, maybe. It's okay for them.

Yeah, you see, some of the places they come from back home now, it's settled.

From tomorrow, this pub will be for whites only.

Hold your horses. Excuse me.

Excuse me.

This is my pub.

I'll say who I serve in here, not you or your Captain Lawson. Now, as long as

they behave themselves, these boys will be welcome. If you don't like that, you

go and you use the church hall.

What? Using the worst accommodation?

Missy, that dog don't hunt.

Well, then that dog will simply have to go and do its business up against some

other lamppost.

Well, I'm afraid that ain't the way Captain Lawson wants it.

You don't ban the colors from this pub. These boys are going to take them out.

By force, right now.

We don't want no part of this.

Shame we can't get the Yankee Wops banned, too.

Good God.

Yankee Wops?

Actors? Limeys? Blacks? Is there anyone you actually like, Billy Joe?

Citizens of Braintree, Alabama, perhaps?

Your next -door neighbors?

People in your street?

No, I bet you'd even hog tie and string up your old mother wouldn't you after

all she is a woman completely different species altogether You

want to step outside and say that not

especially no You stopped right where you are sir step out of the way Reggie

let these MPs do the duty it's Constable Deadman to you And I think your MP

friends will tell you I have authority here.

Now, Mrs Bamford, as licensee of these premises, could you tell me if there is

anyone who is currently upon these said premises who, as licensee of these said

premises, you currently desire no longer to be upon them, to which the

aforementioned premises of which you are licensee and to which I have previously

referred?

Related to Shakespeare, too.

He's asking if you want anyone chucked out.

Yeah. Yeah, I do, Reg. Them.

By virtue of the authority vested in me... No, don't speak again.

We're gone.

I ain't heard the last of this yet.

Hey.

Thanks, cousin.

Well done, Reg.

What would you like, Reg? On the ass.

Well, I'll tell you what I'd really like.

All right, Reg, just this once.

Take it away, James T.

Good night, all. Good night, Reg. You know, I was blooming proud of you

Reg, when you stood up to that big bully. Come here.

No, it was nothing.

You know what they say? The bigger they are, the harder they punch, usually.

He wouldn't have laid a glove on me.

Whoa! Just as well. He's a bit ring -rusty, isn't he?

Good night, Reg.

Good night.

You wouldn't believe we're supposed to be on the same side, would you?

No. I suppose that was your first real taste of what they call racism.

As you get older, Phoebe, you'll realise that not all the Nazis are in Germany.

Gary, you can be a right twit sometimes.

Dad and me were down Cable Street in 36, standing up to Moseley in his black

shirt. And they're all about fascists. Thank you very much.

I'm sorry.

Evening, folks.

What do you want?

No harsh words, sweet thing. I've just come over here with this here peace

offering.

The finest Tennessee sip and whiskey.

And to tell you, you don't have to worry about those colored boys anymore.

Captain Lawson's put all the pubs off limits to him.

You bastard.

Ooh, now, that ain't no ladylike language, like I said.

I just come here in good faith, just to sort out this misunderstanding.

Well, that's right, Phoebe.

Billy Joe is offering the pipe of peace. I think we should have a little puff.

Let's see if we can get him full to the brim with British hospitality, eh?

Get some glasses.

Well, here's to the Anglo -American alliance.

Well, now that is more like it.

Mmm.

And here's puke.

No more darkies spoiling my favourite pub.

How sweet they are.

And here's to the Reverend Martin Luther King.

Who?

Oh, didn't I tell you? Sorry, he's a friend of the family. It's his birthday.

So, climb by me.

To Father, um... Reverend and, uh... What have you said?

Now, see, wasn't I right? Isn't it better just us good old boys together?

Oh, absolutely, yes. Good old boys together.

Are you laughing at me?

No. No, of course not.

Well, talk of the devil. Look, here's Reverend King Nod.

Did I mention he was black?

You got a guy drunk and then you beat him up?

I couldn't help it. It was him or me.

Well, what's he going to do to you when he sobers up?

Well, with luck, nothing.

Zeffirelli and the others are going to tell him he challenged me and I beat him

fair and square.

You know, I will take my hat off to you next time I wear one. You have done

marvellous. Couldn't have done it without you, Gazza.

Your steadfastness, your resourcefulness, your... Yes, all right,

In return, I've been working out ways to get you out of your predicament.

Vis -a -vis Yvonne and her plans for world domination.

Vanessa!

Ready when you are, Mr Rook.

Sparrow. It's Mr Sparrow.

Sorry. That's OK.

Will you wait outside for a moment?

What's going on?

Well, it's obvious, isn't it?

Make Yvonne jealous.

Stella went ballistic when she thought I was flying away from home.

No, actually, you went ballistic when you thought she was playing around.

Yeah, well, whatever, whatever.

You see, if Yvonne feels that expansion will lead you into temptation, she may

change her mind. Now, I've told her to come over immediately, so when she gets

here, just follow my lead.

What?

Importantly, I have to be dragged all the way over to Dunstable.

Well, go on, Gary. She's got to know sooner or later.

Know about the, um... The downside to all our expansion plans.

Oh, right. Yes, yeah. Well, you see, the thing is, Yvonne, if we go through with

this Korean connection, it's going to mean big changes.

Right. I mean, for a start, I'm going to have to spend a lot more time away.

Oh, of course.

And that's not all. I mean, you can forget all your plans about moving.

And as for starting a family, well, that goes on the back, back.

Back is burner.

Really? Well, it's got to, hasn't it, really?

Excuse me a moment, I need to get a Jubilee Cliff.

I mean, moving into larger premises, carrying much more stock, it all takes

money. But I've had a word with the bank, and they're willing to put up the

necessary, but only if we put the house on the market. And because it is a risky

business... Excuse me?

The young lady's here to see you.

Oh, Roger, come in, come in. Miss Partridge.

Farrah, Farrah.

You must be Miss Masterson? Yes.

Or may I just call you Vanessa?

Excuse me.

Who is this?

The agency said she was presentable. Not wrong, were they?

What agency?

The Employment Agency.

Well, you know, if I'm going to be away on the road, I'll need an assistant,

and, er... Well, I think she'll do.

Excuse me. Would you mind leaving, please?

Yvonne?

idea of a wind -up was this.

Bye.

If you're having problems with expanding your business, then let's talk.

You don't have to perform this ridiculous pantomime.

I tried talking.

It would have been easier to persuade Imelda Marcos to wear flip -flops.

Well, I've had second thoughts.

And maybe I got carried away on the flimsiest basis.

And was perhaps...

Left them right.

You could say wrong, Yvonne. It wouldn't kill you.

So who was she, then?

I think she works in a chip shop across the road.

It looks like that. She's wasted in a chip shop.

Looks are all she's got, I'm afraid.

You notice the orthological confusion with the names?

Took me two hours to get it narrowed down to birds.

Oh, well, let's forget it, eh? Why don't we take a spin in this Jeep?

What? You mean you expect it to start?

Of course.

Oh, ye of little faith. All aboard.

Ron, how long has this jeep been in this lock -up?

Fifteen years. Why?

I just wondered.

You know, just stop worrying. Foresight and planning are my watchwords. But,

Ron, you always come and go by the back door.

Yes, so?

Nothing. No, look, you've got everything, haven't you? You've got the

tanks, you've got an insurance seatbelt.

Oh, Gary, whatever happened to the spirit of adventure?

I've told you, foresight and planning are my watchwords. Now, Gary, doors,

please.

I can't manage. What a wimp.

Oh, the love's wrong.

Good night, sweetheart.

Sleep will banish sorrow.

Good night, sweetheart.

Till we meet tomorrow.