All language subtitles for goodnight_sweetheart_s02e04_whos_taking_you_home_tonight

Good night, sweetheart.

All my prayers are for you. Good night,
sweetheart.

I'll be watching all you.

Tears and parting may make us alone.

But with the coming,

a new day is born.

John wanted you to phone me.

Yes, and instead I decided to call round
in person.

Profound apologies, but that's the sort
of ignorant git I am.

So what's the panic?

I spent last night stuck in an air raid
shelter with an accordion player who did

non -stop George Formby impressions.

So I was late getting home and I'd
forgotten the cover story we agreed to

Yvonne. Now, was I supposed to be
working in Basildon or Braintree?

Cheltenham.

Cheltenham?

I'm losing it.

Yeah, well, don't get your knickers in a
twist.

I haven't spoken to Yvonne yet.

You could tell her you were running guns
to Guatemalan rebels if you want.

Ever since I said you could pretend to
be working for me to cover your jaunts

war -torn London, you've abused the
privilege and been home late every

You don't know that's true.

It's what Yvonne told Stella.

All right, so you do know that's true.

OK, so I've been taking liberties, but
it's not much fun for me in 1994 at the

moment. Yeah, well, I'm afraid it can't
go on any more.

I'm going to have to sack you.

Sack you?

Reality check, Ron. It's not a real job,
remember?

It is as far as the girls are concerned.

Stella thinks I'm a slave -driving ogre
who's putting your marriage on the line

by making you work too hard.

But I'm already unemployed.

Do you realise what it'll do to my self
-confidence if I can't even hold down a

pretend job?

I insist on a peaceful home life.

If I'd wanted turmoil, I'd have married
for luck.

That isn't even making me do my own
ironing.

I'd never have guessed.

I'll sort it out. I'll make sure
everybody knows that the hours I've

been working are down to me, all right?

Yeah, we'll do it soon, OK?

Scouts on.

My God.

You don't give your employees a chance
to rest, do you, Ron?

I'm only sorry we haven't got any
children you could send up a chimney.

I hope you don't make a habit of
hassling Gary before eight in the

normally like to eat my muesli as God
intended.

Without sugar?

Without clothes.

If I have to start dressing, I'll have
to start paying the window cleaner.

Good morning, Gary.

Good morning.

Look, it's not Ron's fault I'm working
late. My hours are down to me.

And I'm a salesman without a car, so I'm
at the mercy of British Rail.

Really?

And selling's a very time -consuming
business, especially if you're new to

I can't go anywhere until Ron and I have
had exhaustive discussions.

So where are you off to today?

Um, we haven't exhaustively discussed
that yet.

Reading? Reading sounds good.

I'll make sure I'm home early.

What? You mean you can actually spend
some of your precious time with little

Yeah. Well, tough.

There's a wine and nibbles party after
work. So tonight, I'm going out.

It's all right, I think we've lost him.
Oh, Gary, you are a terror.

Fancy knocking off an ARP warden's
helmet.

Well, he was asking for it, pompous
little twit.

Excuse me, would you mind not
obstructing the alleyway? There could be

services trying to get through.

You give these guys a tin hat and they
look like Churchill.

I'm going to have to start knocking off
ARP helmets on a regular

basis.

That's... For a lovely afternoon.

It was only what you was after down that
alley.

No tea, your honour.

Well, I'd better get you back to the
pub.

I, er... I don't want to go in there
just yet.

Well, going in there, back to Reg and
all the others, means the afternoon's

over. I want to hang on to it for a
little bit longer.

It's been the first time, oh, God knows,
that I... Well, I actually forgot about

the war for a little while.

Do you know what I mean?

What? What, what?

Smashing film, wasn't it?

I've wanted to see Gone With The Wind
for ages.

Actually, you know, you look a lot like
Vivien Leigh. Oh, stop it.

Well, go on, then.

What?

You're supposed to say I look a lot like
Clark Gable.

They've attached the Stan Laurels about
you.

You can go off people, you know.

What are you doing tonight?

Not a lot.

I want to cook you a meal.

Oh, don't look like that. I can cook,
you know.

Come up to the flat at about eight o
'clock.

But aren't you worried about what the
neighbours might think?

You know, a married woman entertaining
another man.

No, I'm part caring what anyone thinks.

Most of them round here think we're all
ready at it, like rabbits anyway.

Do they?

Dirty mind and lot.

Well, I suppose I'd better go in.

I'll see you at eight.

On the dot.

All

right.

Quick bath.

No, I'd better just check.

It's a job that just suits me.

A window cleaner you would be.

If you could see what... God, that
George Formby, when he gets in here... I

don't believe it.

Air raid, I've lost nine tonight.

That means we're going to have to share
our pudding course with 20 rejects from

Help the Aged.

That means I'm going to be late home
again.

Why should I feel guilty?

She's gone out.

Flaming wine and nibble.

Whining about me and nibbling on some
bloke's hair, that's fair.

Right, we'll see if you play it like
that.

Hello, Gary.

I heard you singing. Has something
happened?

No, it's just a tune that was going
around my head. What are you doing here?

mean... What happened to the wine and
nibbles?

I didn't fancy it.

Something wrong?

You seem a bit down.

No, it's nothing much.

It's just one of those days when you
look at your life and you realise it's a

complete and utter mess.

Shall I get you some evening primrose?

I'm not having a period, Gary.

PMT is not the major cause of depression
in women.

And it's not likely to be as long as
there are men in this world.

Well, I'm sorry.

What for?

I'm not 100 % sure. It just seemed the
safest thing to say.

It's about me working all these hours,
isn't it? Yes, it's about you working

these hours.

I had realised it was getting on your
nerves.

No, you hadn't.

Ron told you it was.

And I know because I told Stella,
knowing she'd tell him and knowing he'd

you. Why not just tell me?

Because I'm your wife.

I like to give you the chance to give
the impression that you're capable of

original thought.

I'm perfectly capable of original
thought. What about... About that

electronic personal organiser I
surprised you with on your birthday.

Poor fool.

You really believe you were sent that
brochure on a random mail shot?

So once I'd behaved like a well
-manipulated little puppet and told you

home early, why did you throw it in my
face? To get back at you.

You really don't understand women at
all, do you?

Apparently not.

Look at me.

Now I want you to be honest.

Is all this time you're spending at work
just an excuse to get away from me?

Now, I know I gave you a hard time about
wanting a baby and you're losing your

job. Oh, don't be silly.

Then why are you late home every night?

And I don't believe all that rubbish
about selling being a time -consuming

You have never let work rule your life.

It's wrong.

You're right, he's a bloody slave
driver. Well, don't let him do it to

Put your foot down. From now on, I
promise.

I don't want to lose what I love, Gary.

No, nor do I.

Look, let's go out for a meal together.

Yes, tonight.

No, not tonight.

I can't.

Sorry. Well, I promised Ron.

You said you were going out. And you
said you were going to put your foot

Yes.

Right.

I will.

Two birds.

And they both want you in different
places at the same time.

It's the classic adulterous dilemma.

I'm not an adulterer.

I never have been. I never will be
unfaithful to Yvonne.

Well, not in the same space time
continues.

The only course of action I can see open
to you is to bite the proverbial bullet

and choose between one or the other.

You have an incredible knack for stating
the obvious and taking 20 minutes to do

it. I know I've got to choose, but which
one?

Whichever one I reject, I lose.

Yvonne already thinks I'm giving her the
cold shoulder, and this invitation from

Phoebe is a pivotal moment in our
relationship.

If I cry off, she'll take it as
rejection.

Surely not.

Women back then were, ah, a lot more
sensitive.

Even so.

Ron, have you ever been romantically
involved with a girl born during the

World War?

Partial to the older woman, Gary. Even
my upper age limit falls some way short

of 79 -year -olds.

Leave it to one of these, eh?

Gough, ain't really enough to paint you
into a corner, doesn't it?

The night Phoebe invites me to dinner is
the same night my wife decides to save

our marriage.

God, listen to me, I'm turning into such
a chauvinist.

I think your average Cosmo reader would
be reaching for the castration scissors.

But your fellow man knows where you're
coming from, pal.

If I was a full -blooded chauvinist,
it'd be a lot easier.

Oliver Reed would seduce Phoebe over the
hors d 'oeuvres.

Then cold -bloodedly see to Yvonne
between the coffee and the after -eats.

Keeping a date with both of them. Now
that'd be cool.

And I could do it.

There's an Indian restaurant at the
present day end of Duckett's Pathage,

So that is where I take it all.

Then I pretend I've got a dodgy tummy,
right? Keep going to the toilet, nip out

of the window, go to Phoebe's, then make
a similar excuse to Phoebe and spend

the night flitting between the two.

How about frogs?

That double -breasted suit Yvonne made
me get for her cousin's wedding, that

should just about cut it in both eras.

I'd only have to keep it going till I
pass nine.

There's an air raid then. I can tell
Phoebe I'm needed back at work.

It's bold.

It's audacious.

It verges on the lunatic.

But if you can pull it off, it will
belong in the pantheon of man's

achievements, along with landing on the
moon and making sure women are the ones

who get pregnant.

However, if the bog in the Indian
doesn't have a window, you'll be

The toilet's through there, isn't it?

Yeah, that's right, Gary, where it says
toilet.

Oh, I just feel a bit... Well, then
isn't Indian the best place to be? You

go home if you want.

No, no, no, it's fine.

Ooh, what are you having for starters?

Oh, whatever you're having.

Good evening.

Evening. Can I get you something to
drink?

Yeah, I'll have a lager, please.

Gary? Ah, yeah, fine.

Please don't be put off by our lack of
custom.

We've only been open for 18 months.

Well, I suppose it takes time for word
to get round.

Absolutely. I've got an ad in the local
paper, but I think I need something more

direct. You know, leaflets through the
letterbox, that sort of thing. Well, if

it's leaflets you're after, my husband
can help.

He's the sales... executive.

For a printing firm.

He'd be delighted to help, wouldn't he,
Gary?

Well, yeah, I was just going to go to
the toilet.

It can't wait, can't it? You don't want
to lose a sale.

What sort of things did you want?

Say, 3 ,000 double pages A5 brochures
with full colour and laminated paper

and back.

Well, go on then, Gary.

How much?

Well, I need to work it out and I really
must go to the toilet. Excuse me.

Don't worry if I'm a little wild.

I thought disguise would be appropriate.

If Yvonne caught a glimpse of me, the
whole operation would be blown.

Yeah, did you get the wine?

Vintage Chateau Lego vest.

Take your time.

Invited into Phoebe's private quarters,
I thought you might be planning to

finally consummate your relationship
with her tonight.

Ron, in the course of the next... 80
minutes, I've got to have two three

meals with two different women whilst
commuting between an Indian restaurant

an East End pub that are 200 yards and
53 years apart.

Now, trying to fit a meaningful sexual
encounter into that kind of schedule

might just be considered pushing my
luck.

Nothing.

The boy's tense.

It's not a good sign.

On the dot, you said. You were late.

Sorry.

You look hot. Have you been running?

Yeah, well, I knew I was late, you know,
so... I've got some wine.

Oh, very posh.

You look nice.

Oh, thanks.

I'm wearing those stockings you got me.

They look all right.

Yeah, terrific.

Come and sit down.

So, what are you cooking for us, then?

Well, um, to start, there's MI5 soup.

MI5 soup?

Yeah. Best you don't know what's in it.

Then we're having lamb chops.

Lamb chops?

Where do you get those?

Don't you know there's a war on? Well,
the butchers have a few things under the

counter, and I just happened to have a
spare barrel of beer at a knock -down

price for his daughter's wedding.

You're not the only one we'll contact,
you know.

I want tonight to be special.

Yeah.

I'm going to have to keep nipping out to
the phone box at the end of the street.

Why? Well, there's a bit of a flap on at
work. They want me to keep in touch.

Well, you can phone from here.

Well, public lines are more secure.

Careless talk, all that.

I won't let it spoil the evening, I
promise.

Look, let's open the wine, eh?

I've got a corkscrew in the kitchen.

Gary, this wine?

Yeah, well, I know, strictly speaking,
we should have red with dark meat, but I

don't think it really matters, do you?

What the hell with the colour? It's
German.

I'm going to kill you, Ron.

Who's Ron?

Ron's my wine merchant.

He's obviously got lumbered with the
stuff and tried to fob it off on me.

You ought to report him. He could be a
fifth colonist. No, no, he's not. He's

just... Very, very stupid.

Well, I'm not drinking anything that's
been trod by a Nazi jackboot. I'm

throwing it down the sink.

Yeah, of course.

Your lucky dad's not here.

Remember what he was like?

He'd have his shot for catching a German
measles.

Yeah.

Good old rational Eric.

I do miss him.

The table looks nice.

You're going to have to get your best
china out for me.

It's not my best china.

It's my only china.

A bomb went off three streets away. The
cat went berserk and knocked all the

crockery off the dresser. You can't get
a patient for love nor money.

God, the time.

Hope you like it.

It's, uh, mock oyster, actually.

Mock oyster?

Yeah.

It's made from cod's heads and whale
meat.

Lovely.

Careful, it's very hot.

Let's buy it.

Delicious.

Look, I'm going to have to check in at
work, OK? I won't be a tick.

So far, so good?

Where did that wine come from?

Freshers. Try Germany.

I'll just give you one simple little
thing.

Can you hear that?

Sounds like Cliff Richard.

Shut up, Cliff.

the hand basin in the gents, you know,
to wash my hands, and I put my foot up

it to tie my shoelace, and it slipped in
and got wet.

Well, you never done that.

Is everything all right?

Are you enjoying your meal? Yes, it's
gorgeous. Yeah, lovely, really, really

lovely. Oh, have you done that quote for
Sanjay yet? Oh, no, please, don't let

me interrupt you. No, it's okay.

Um, well...

You wanted 3 ,000. 3 ,000.

On the... And then just carry that
through.

Is that all right?

You're joking.

Oh, no, all right. Knock 50 off that,
then.

I was going to say that's really cheap,
but if you can knock off another 50,

that's even better.

Thank you.

So, Neil, more chicken tikka here,
please.

You don't look a gift course in the
mouse.

What's up, Gary?

Don't you like my cooking?

No, it's delicious. I'm just not a very
big eater.

Well, don't you waste it.

Remember what Potato Pete says.

Wasting food is as good as giving it to
Adolphe.

Of course.

I'm worried about you.

One minute you bolt your food, now you
can't face it, and in between you're

rushing to the toilet.

What are you, bulimic or pregnant?

I'm fine, honest.

Mmm.

Yum, yum.

Is the soup pudding all right?

Lovely.

I wish every night could be like this,
Gary.

Sorry about that.

I was listening to live commentary from
the match at Highbury.

I suppose it was inevitable that I'd
doze off.

I'm a total embarrassment.

And I hope to God I'm suffering from
chronic indigestion, otherwise I'm in

middle of a major coronary.

Which way are you headed, past or
present?

Present. I've just shared the world's
largest suet pudding with Phoebe. Mmm,

suet pudding, smashing.

Not on top of soup, but double chicken
teacup, lamb chops, potatoes, peas,

mutton vindaloo and bimbi bars.

Hey, what nettle?

I mean, there's nothing to you.

You're built like a whippet.

I've seen more meat on a butcher's
pencil.

Now, listen, I've got to go back to
Phoebe's once more. I think the going to

toilet for 15 minutes excuse is running
out of gas, if you'll pardon the pun.

So I need to switch to plan B, all
right? No, you give me five minutes,

come into the restaurant.

You didn't tell me exactly what plan B
entails.

No, I didn't, did I?

You say you like sweet pudding?

Yeah.

Get the bill.

Oh, we can't go now.

We haven't had our coffee and our hot
flannel yet.

You've spent half the night in the loo.
You're obviously ill, so let's go home.

No, I'm fine, honest.

I won't be going again tonight. You
shouldn't have to go for another

I don't believe it!

Oh.

Have you enjoyed yourself?

The few minutes we've spent together
have been nice, yes.

How could you do this?

I saw him earlier, and he said he had to
discuss business. But I said, no. I put

my foot down. I said, I am taking my
wife to dinner. So what does he do? This

tyrant follows us here.

You're a disgrace, Ron Wheatcroft.

Sorry. Is everything all right? Yes.
Yes, I'm sorry for the disturbance. I'll

take this outside.

You'd better stay here, love. It could
get ugly. Come on.

Brilliant. That was...

Thanks, look, I've got to get round to
Phoebe's.

Of course, I don't look like a complete
git.

I told you I wanted tonight to be
special.

It has been. You've spent your whole
time rushing out of here.

I'm sorry, but like I said, there's a
flap on at work. You sure that's not

been an excuse?

For what?

Avoiding me.

I wanted... I wanted us to spend the
night together.

Tonight. And you guessed that's what
this meal was all about.

You don't understand women very well, do
you?

Doesn't seem to be a particular strength
of mine.

Perhaps you're just not interested in
me.

Of course I am.

It's all I've thought about for... Well,
not all I've thought about, but... I've

thought about it a lot.

Look, Phoebe, if I have been slow on the
uptake, it's because I didn't want to

start something I couldn't finish.

I don't think you'd have that problem at
me.

I haven't.

The reason I've had to keep checking in
tonight is because we're almost certain

there's going to be a raid.

What's new?

We think the Germans might be using a
different kind of bomb.

I'm going to have to go.

They want me for evaluation purposes.

And what time can we expect this, right?

Any second now.

I'm sorry, you should have told me.

Didn't want to spoil our evening.

This bloody war spoils everything.

Look, there'll be other evenings. I'll
make sure of that.

I even went to the chemist for you.

There's no need for you to do that.

Why?

Do you always carry a spare toothbrush?

All sorted, then?

I suppose so.

Congratulations, old son.

Men all over the world will be taking a
bit more of the duvet tonight.

Ron, I've spent the entire evening lying
to and deceiving the two most important

women in my life.

How do you think that makes me feel, eh?

Married with a bit on the side?

Listen. Tonight could have ended in
three shattered lives.

But you've managed to sort it so that
there's been no casualties.

Be brave.

Hello?

I think I've just become the evening's
first fatality.

The voice you hear ranting.

on the other end of this phone.

Stella.

Yvonne has just phoned her and told her
how I seemingly dragged you out of the

restaurant.

Consequently, I'm going to go through an
experience which can only be likened to

Dante's journey through purgatory.

Sitting next to Graham Taylor on a long
-haul flight.

Would I not like that?

Precisely.

Now, the only thing that will sustain me
through my misery is the knowledge that

I have helped others.

So I want you to smile, go back into
that restaurant, and enjoy the rest of

evening.

You're a good mate, Ron.

Right now, I think I'm the best mate in
the world.

Oh, by the way, if somebody asked you to
print 3 ,000 double -page A5 brochures

with full colour and laminated paper
front and back, could you do it for

Yeah, of course.

If I wanted to go bankrupt.

Why?

I'll tell you later.

Good night, sweetheart Sleep well,
banished

sorrow Good night, sweetheart Till we

meet tomorrow

We talk.