Original subtitles

Good night, sweetheart.

All my prayers are for you.

Good night, sweetheart.

I'll be watching all you.

Tears and crying may make us alone.

But with the dawn, a new day is born.

Does it look all right?

Tighter.

Much tighter.

Oh, how horrible. Yes, extremely amusing joke.

Who said I was joking?

Is the suit OK?

Yeah, the suit's OK.

It's what's inside that worries me.

In one hour of time, you will be in court on the charge of being drunk in

of a vehicle.

In approximately one and a half hour of time, you'll be convicted of being drunk

in charge of a vehicle.

You'll lose your licence and you'll lose your job.

Might not.

Oh, really? Well, give me one. I mean, just give me one single reason why that

inexorable chain of events I've just predicted will not take place.

Well?

Might be ill.

Sorry?

Magistrates. Might be ill.

Yeah. Perhaps they all went out for a meal together.

Yeah, perhaps one of them, perhaps his wife's just died, and to cheer him up,

all the other magistrates took the magistrate... The one whose wife has

died. That's him. That's him. Nice bloke, I expect.

Anyway, they all went out for a meal together...

And... And what?

And they all got food poisoning, and the court's going to be closed today, and

we won't have to go, and everything's going to be all right again.

It was a joke. I was joking.

Please, God, let it be true.

Please, I've said no comment.

How is the condemned man, facing up to his trip to the big house?

Stop it, Ron. I'm not in the mood.

Can I do the one about the long walk to the chair?

Mum brave.

Well, here I am.

All for one and one for all.

Did you think I would leave you lying when there's room on my horse for

two? Two little boys. Just about thumbs it up.

Things a bit cool between you, yeah?

Try permafrost. Try ice age. Try great big woolly mammoths wandering all over

the living room.

Well, never fear. Ron is here.

I'm showing solidarity. I'm going to come with you. Yes, thanks, mate. Now,

way I see it, where most people go wrong is that they order something too fancy.

Lobster, champagne.

Well, it's too fussy, isn't it? Besides, think of the indigestion if the

reprieve comes through at the last minute.

Oh, no, you're not doing the last meal on death row.

Not a long walk to the big chair.

You forgot the priest knocking at the door.

I think the knocking you can hear on is the sound of the death watch beetle in

your skull hammering to get out.

Let us not be despondent.

What does your solicitor say?

I haven't got a solicitor. I'm representing myself.

Could be good.

Could be good.

What are you going to say?

Stuff.

Stuff could be good. Nothing wrong with stuff.

You see, Ron, as I see it, I think... Well, that's good.

The pacing, good pacing, very authoritative. Yeah? You notice?

I know good pacing when I see it. I did think about adding a limp.

No, no, no, no, keep it simple. No, you're right.

Look, as I see it, I'm guilty, right?

I was caught in the van, drunk, trying to put the keys in the ignition.

So the only way... Hey, Steve. Oh, sorry.

The only way I can get off of this is if I plead extenuating circumstances.

Extenuating circumstances.

Sounds good.

Well, this is where the stuff comes in. You see, I thought I'd mention the time

when I was little and my mum was ill, so I had to go and stay with my Auntie

Dot. Eh?

You know, just evoke a bit of sympathy, cos... They're going to throw the book

at me, aren't they?

I wouldn't say that. Yes, he's going to lose his licence and he's going to lose

his job, and that's that.

Nonsense.

He'll leave that court without staying on his record.

Once again, Gary Sparrow will be able to hold his head high, no longer an

outcast from society.

20 quid.

I bet you 20 quid he loses his licence.

Er, we'll make it a fiver.

Laughter.

Is this a good idea, I ask myself?

Shouldn't we remember the salutary lessons so recently dispensed and

a libation free from those properties that have brought about our downfall?

can indulge in what you like, Ron. Me, I'm going to get rat arsed.

My life is an utter shambles and total botch. No, no, no, you've got it all

wrong. You shouldn't be at the maudlin self -pitying stage yet. You've just

started drinking.

What happened to the manic high spirits?

That's how it goes. You start off with that, then you get into the over

-friendly arm -around -the -neck Rodney and the best man ever, let's take on the

world scenario.

Then you do your maudlin bit, then you throw up. Get it right.

Hello?

Oh, hi, Mr Jackson, yeah.

Listen, I'm sorry I wasn't at work this morning.

Oh, you heard.

Yeah, what?

Just a little hiccup, you know.

I've been with you for ten years.

It gets better.

Yeah, I fully appreciate that.

Yes, I fully appreciate that.

Look, I fully bloody appreciate it, all right.

Well, if that's how you want to act, there's nothing more to say, is there?

I mean, I am a grown man, I am not going to beg.

But I will just say this.

Please don't fire me, Mr Jackson. I won't do it again, I promise.

Yes, I understand that.

I... Oh, get lost, you fat creep.

What you need is a holiday.

Oh, yeah, good idea, Ron. Yeah, I'll just phone the travel agents.

New York, I think. Hmm. A suite at the Ritz Carlton overlooking Central Park.

Dinner at Sardi's. Maybe catch the boxing in Madison Square Gardens.

Some holidays.

All you need is a pair of stockings.

Don't get pervy.

Some holidays, all you need is a pair of stockings as a gift to a certain person

and a few kind words as to how the war is going.

No, I can't go back there now. I've got a living to make.

Think of it as rest and recuperation.

Back there, you're a sun god, a colossus, a leader of men.

Here, you're a nothing.

A nobody.

A stylist.

Sorry, is this supposed to be cheering me up?

No, Von will expect me to start looking for work.

Tell her you're going to work for me.

Oh, Ron.

Oh, now that is what I call a mate. Listen, I won't let you down. I said

her it's not a serious offer, Gary.

But it'll get her off your back while you take stock.

And suddenly a certain substance hits the fan.

No.

No, everyone's not the sort of girl to bear a grudge.

She'll be calm, she'll have everything in perspective, everything will be fine.

Told you.

Ah.

You could be me.

A year ago, I was unemployed.

I now drive a BMW, live in a £250 ,000 home, and have... And I'm the Queen

Mother.

Gary, it's lies. They're just reps advertising for other reps.

There's nothing wrong with being a rep. I think I'd make quite a good rep. You'd

have to travel all over the country.

So? So what mode of transport did you have in mind?

A skateboard?

Farthing, perhaps.

I don't know. I'm doing my best.

For all we know, this could open up a whole new world of exciting

for us.

Such as?

I need someone to collect the shopping trolleys from the car park at Tesco's.

I think I doubted you.

While we're at it, what was all that stuff this morning about your auntie

I was pleading extenuating circumstances.

Like what?

Insanity?

Things could be worse, you know. How? How could things be worse?

Has one of us got a terminal illness I should know about?

Honestly, Gary, I try to keep going. I really do.

And I was thinking, maybe I've got it wrong.

Maybe we shouldn't try to keep going.

Might be for the best.

Is that what you want?

Do you?

I said it first.

Neither of us has actually said it at all yet.

Gary, do you want us to split up? No, I don't.

You make it sound so final.

Well, it has to be said, you can't hide your head in the sand forever.

I like it down there.

Perhaps we should go to Relate and get some counselling. Oh, well, well, no

No way am I going to tell a stranger about our intimate personal doodars.

We haven't got any intimate personal doodars. We haven't had any intimate

personal doodars for the past month, which is part of the problem. We need to

talk about it with someone.

Look, Yvonne, I'm tired, OK? We'll talk about it in the morning.

And we will, won't we, Gary?

You have to face up to things sometimes.

You can't run away forever.

I'm not running away.

Besides... What?

Where have I got to run to?

It's that man again.

They're an air raid I should know about.

Hello?

Oh, hello, Reg. Was that you banging on the counter?

Yeah, I was just... Well, you don't bang. You ring the bell.

You only bang when the bell's not working or someone's nicked it.

Are we happy little pigs in our ranch?

Social niceties have been observed.

Right, what can I do you for? Oh, a pint of bitter.

Half a bitter.

A shandy. A tiny little shandy.

Is this some sort of quiz?

The Lawson family were in last night. Their Sydney was shot down over the

channel. They just heard it had been picked up safe and sound.

Drank the place dry, they did.

Well, to tell a lie, I did keep something back.

Half a bottle of cherry brandy.

I may have to pass.

Well, suit yourself.

I've just been on the blow at the brewery. Should be stocked up again by

Friday? I can't wait that long. I've got to be back by dinner time.

Back where?

Back in the... Be like Dad, keep Mum.

Yeah, be like Dad, keep Mum.

It's rather sexist, that, isn't it?

I wonder what Jermaine Greer would make of that one.

Are you sure that she's at home?

A girl down our street.

Nice talk.

A bit pushy, mind you. Oh, I know the type.

Since these women have been working in the factories and driving the buses,

think they're running a shop.

Where's it going to end, eh? Yeah, probably start burning their bras next.

How about that one?

Great holiday run, good idea.

Hi, Phoebe.

Take a look at that.

I've just spent queuing up for that. Look at it. I wouldn't give it to the

I think I've seen her at the cat. You'll never guess what he tried to make me

have first.

Lamb's tail. I told him. I said, you're not palming me off with lamb's tail.

There's no ruddy meat on them.

What are you doing here, then?

Not having a drink.

It's been that kind of a week all round, hasn't it, Rach?

Come on.

Sit down.

What?

Well, come on, we need cheering up.

You need cheering up. You're outlinked with what's happening in the world,

We rely on you for information.

Yeah, you've been in the know with all your contacts and all.

Tell us our things as bad as they seem.

No, of course not.

For instance, the evacuation of Crete just means we can reinforce our boys in

North Africa.

Crete's fallen.

You didn't know?

That's Greece gone and all.

We're going to lose, aren't we? Now then, go.

None of that. Let's defeat this talk, that is.

What will Winnie say?

Of course we're not going to lose, Phoebe.

What? You got a crystal ball, have you?

Sort of. Oh, yeah? So what's going to happen to me, then?

In five seconds' time, I'm going to see a great big smile on that little face.

Says you.

Oh, Gary.

You shouldn't have.

Stockings.

I'm down in my last pair.

What?

What is it?

They're the latest things in America.

Well, don't look very practical.

Well, what happens if you get a ladder on one of the legs? You can't just swap

it for another one, can you? You can't mix and match. It's wasteful, I'll call

it. Well, I'll have it if you don't want it. I've got all the stormy onions in

it.

They're not an it. They're a them.

No, no, no.

I'll keep them.

Beggars can't be choosers, eh?

Well, I'm glad I cheered you both up. Oh, you have, son. You really have. Oh,

good. Well, it might just be interesting to know that I was the one who needed

cheering up. That's why I came in here.

You? Why do you need cheering up?

Things just got on top of me, that's all.

Oh, did they now?

So you came here to be cheered up?

Well, I'm sorry if we've disappointed you, Gary, only...

What with my dad dying and me having to scrimp and save and having to run this

pub on my own, knowing that any minute Goering's mob could blow us to

smithereens. What with all that going on, I know.

I know I sound like a bit of a moaner, but just right now, I can't find it in

heart of hearts to bloody well cheer you up.

Phoebe, I'm sorry.

You're not hungry?

Mine, you're all mine.

How did I manage?

How did I manage to simultaneously screw up two lives 53 years apart?

I'd even consider suicide if I didn't think I'd have to do it twice. Whoa,

Now, come on, champ.

You've had a few bad rounds.

There's no need to throw the towel in.

I've got nowhere left to go, Ron.

You've still got Yvonne.

After walking out this morning, she'll tear me limb from limb.

No, not Yvonne.

Well, you had Yvonne.

I had to eat lamb's tails during the war.

I'm really up against it, the poor sods.

The shortages, the bad news every day.

Never knowing whether you'd wake up in the morning.

And there you are.

Certain of victory.

Able to console Phoebe in her hour of need.

Yeah, and I didn't. I was too busy trying to talk about myself.

Now I'm selfish.

But from now on, you're going to see a new Gary Sparrow.

From now on, I'm going to be strong -minded, resolute and decisive.

So who's it going to be, Ivan or Phoebe?

I'm not sure.

Gary, this is Jenny.

Hi. Jenny and I were at college together. She just popped in for a chat.

Listen, I'm sorry about running off this morning.

Do you want a beer, Gary?

No, thanks.

I'm trying to cut down.

Well, that's good.

You don't want to use it as a crutch.

No.

So, you've been talking about old times, haven't you? Well, we haven't had time.

Jenny's just got here.

I was just saying to Yvonne, you've got a nice place here.

Have you lived here long?

Yeah, since we were married.

And you're happy?

Well, define happy.

Things have been a bit difficult just recently, you know. I just lost my job,

there's added pressure there.

No, there are problems. I may be stupid not to admit it, you know.

A lot of it is down to me, I suppose.

I have this problem, you know, the tendency to run away from things. I find

can't face up to various...

What is going on with her?

Out there.

Her. She's one of those, isn't she? One of those things.

She's not one of the undead, Gary. She's a social worker.

There's a difference.

Jenny's done counselling. She can help us. She's not here in a professional

capacity. Moonlighting. Is she cashing in? No, she just wants to help.

We need somebody to arbitrate.

I am not talking to her, all right?

You were just talking to her. You were talking really well.

I was ambushed.

Yes, of course you've been ambushed. Otherwise you'd never have agreed to go

through with it.

This is our last chance, Gary.

Either we do this or we... Hey.

Hey, come on.

Jam.

We don't have to throw the towel in yet, do we?

All right, everything's fine, isn't it, Gary?

Yep, fine.

I've told Gary about why you're really here. And how does Gary feel about that?

Gary?

All right, that's fine.

And you feel a chat might be of benefit to you both?

You tell me.

No, you tell me, Gary.

Might, I suppose.

Well, that's good.

At last you're admitting that something's wrong. Lots of couples have

and downs and we both know that. And both of us together feel ultimately

Ultimately together we both... Gary, I need some help here. I can't do this by

myself. Yvonne, maybe if I just talk to you and Gary can chip in if he feels

like it.

Now, Gary's recently lost his job. That's right.

And you consider him a failure? No, he considers himself a failure. You don't

consider him a failure?

Well, yes.

But not as much as he considers himself a failure.

Well, excuse me. You wanted to say something, Gary?

No.

I just sit here like a well -behaved ritual sacrifice.

Gary, I'm only trying to get at the truth.

I'm right, aren't I, Jenny? You see, Jenny thinks I'm right. I don't care.

Maybe if I talk to Yvonne and I can get round to you later.

Can hardly wait. Fingers crossed for that one, Jenny.

Yvonne, this is difficult.

I mean, we've known each other for a long time.

Would you think it unethical, out of bounds, if I were to mention some of the

things we were privy to when we met at college?

No, of course not.

As long as we get to the truth, I mean, that's what matters, isn't it? Of

course.

Trevor Harrison? I'm not talking about Trevor Harrison.

I'm just trying to follow a train of thought. I just thought, perhaps, and

is just a theory, Yvonne, I wonder if you might have a tendency to pick the

wrong man for you, for your particular needs. I am not talking about Trevor

Harrison. Hey, come on, Yvonne.

All we're trying to do is get to the truth. I mean, that's why we're all

Trevor Harrison?

Well, we all make mistakes, don't we?

First day at college, we all latch on to somebody.

It's just that sometimes, sometimes people draw the short draw.

Hmm.

And what sort of bloke was old Trev then?

Was he, and I'm just trying to get to the truth here, Jenny, but was Trevor a

particularly dynamic sort of person?

Well, I'm not talking Trainspotter here, but it was a pretty close call.

He had a nice smile!

He used to wear these shoes.

Oh, no, not sensible shoes.

He wasn't one of those.

God, was he ever.

OK, OK, what about you? I don't think I'm the issue at stake here, Yvonne.

You're just bitter because Tony Price didn't want to marry you.

What did you say? You heard.

That's a lie. It's a filthy lie. Well, the truth always hurts. He would have

married me. It was his mother. She came between us. You've always been the same.

One date with a bloke, any bloke, and you thought you were walking down the

aisle. Well, tell me again.

How many wedding dresses have you had made?

Only three.

Well, that was a thoroughly enjoyable evening.

Very adult, very grown -up.

Particularly like the moment we threw the flower pot at our hastily retreating

counsellor.

I'm only sorry I missed.

You missed her. Shame about next door's car.

Well, at least we talked.

We argued.

That's the way our talking tends to turn out these days, isn't it?

We could argue for England.

We could win the World Cup.

So it's not the final whistle?

Let's play extra time, eh?

What if it goes to penalties?

Oh, I think I'd rather settle for a draw.

How about a pre -season friendly?

Mm.

Mm -mm. No, wait. Wait a minute.

What happens in nine months' time, eh?

I mean, you're not exactly well -placed at the moment, are you?

Probably won't happen.

Probably be all right tonight.

You're the first person in the history of the world who's ever said that.

Right.

Sex machine.

Three and a half times? I think that's a new record.

All right, twice.

Pretty good last night, wasn't I?

Wait.

Best sex I've had since Monday.

I wasn't here on Monday.

I've got to pay the bills, Gary. Now you're out of work.

Marriage is a very complicated machine.

When it breaks down, you can't fix it with one screw.

I'm gonna find some good news for Phoebe.

Oh, dear.

Oh, bad move, Adolf, bad move.

Sorry, Dad.

My last pair.

Look at it.

It's more darned than stocking.

We used to have together, you silly girl.

Hi, Phoebe.

Oh, hello, Gary.

You're not angry?

I mean, yesterday.

No, no, no. I'm not angry with you, Gary. We all get a bit out of sorts,

natural. With the war and everything.

Gets us all down, doesn't it?

Yeah.

Oh, well.

Back to the gravy browning, eh?

Hmm? Gravy browning to paint my legs with.

Mind you, I don't like it. Last time I did it, half the dogs around here

followed me home.

Still, you've got to keep carrying on, haven't you?

You can't...

You can't let things get you down. Come here.

Come on, champ.

Phoebe, please stop it. You'll have me going in a minute.

You... No, no, you're strong, you are.

No, you're wrong.

You're the strong one.

Me?

What do I do?

You keep on.

That's what you all do.

No matter what they chuck at you, you...

Just keep carrying on.

Look at that, eh?

Of course, in America, girls don't need to draw a scene down the back with an

eyebrow pencil.

You know, make him look like stockings.

I mean, what sort of a man's going to fancy a woman who looks like that, eh?

Well, it takes all sorts.

Gary, do you think we hold our own?

I beg your pardon?

I mean, is it going to get any better?

Of course it is.

Hitler has just made the biggest mistake of his life.

He's bitten off more than he can chew. He has really got a tiger by the tail.

What's he done, then?

Hitler's invaded Russia.

I was going to say that.

Well, sorry, I'm sure.

So what? The Germans have invaded Russia. They're not on our side.

But they'll be fighting on two fronts now.

And the Winters can be murder in Russia.

What? You've been there and all, have you? No.

But it'll do to Hitler what it did to Napoleon.

Don't you see?

It makes it virtually certain that we're going to win.

It's going to take time, but we're going to make it, Phoebe.

What about you and me, Gary?

Are we going to make it?

After all, we're not fighting on two fronts, are we?

Sorry to interrupt.

Yvonne's here.

Hello, Auntie.

Good night, sweetheart.

Sleep well, banished sorrow.

Good night, sweetheart.

Till we meet tomorrow.

Thank you.