Original subtitles

Great Timon's white vibration.

Great Timon's white vibration, white electricity.

It was so creepy. He was just hiding there in my bushes. He saw me naked.

a lot of people have seen you naked. That's not really the problem here.

That would have creeped me out so badly I wouldn't be able to go home.

Whoa, whoa.

He could be dangerous.

You need to go to the cops.

Can you come with me?

Oh, honey.

It takes a lot to get me to willingly walk into a police station.

Right. Plus, I gotta get a dress for the Emmys. Can't Mickey get her own dress?

No, it's not for Mickey. It's for me. I was nominated.

What? What?

Franny, that is amazing. Another one.

Mm -hmm.

Look, come on, you guys. I mean, I've been nominated for four. How many times

can I lose to Star Trek Voyager?

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

That good?

Gee,

that isn't just any creep, okay?

I think you have a stalker.

Don't look so freaked out.

It just means you're famous, that's all.

Oh, let me see the class pictures.

What's wrong with you?

These are great.

What? You look so pretty.

Here. Thanks.

What are you doing with those?

Taking them for family.

Like who?

Mama Betty. What?

Gee, don't you have a test to study for?

I appreciate all the attention, but I can't have you in my bush anymore.

You don't understand.

I'm so in love with you.

Okay, you have three seconds to get out of here or I'm going to have to call the

cops. I swear I've seen all your movies.

Forbidden Shadow, Listful Obsessions, Status of Fear.

You can't keep coming here. And I think you're the most beautiful and talented

actress in the whole world. And I will love you until the day that I die.

I can.

I don't want to spill on this outfit.

Where are you going?

Ron, I got invited to this huge charity event at Cedar Sinai, and there's going

to be all these casting directors there, so I'm going in her place.

You look good. Thank you.

Oh, gee, did you call the cops?

Yeah, what'd they say?

Uh, no.

I think I'm going to date my stalker.

What? Well,

yeah, with him, there's no guessing, you know. You know he's really into you.

Not here yet.

Lipid bilayers associated with many of the more idiopathic and supratentorial

hematomas. You know, on her birthday, she did a bungee jump.

I mean, she is a hoot holler, I tell you. I love Ronza. She hasn't changed

bit since her second year at NYU.

Yeah, she gets it all the time. I tell you, she's the salt of the earth. She

came to my kids for it.

Oh, how's her daughter doing?

Oh, much better, you know.

Methadone is a miracle cure.

Well,

it's great how far pediatric encephaloid research has come.

Actually, I thought he could have emphasized the recent ultrasonic

Are you a doctor?

I had a medical fellowship once, but I thought my time would be better spent

getting rejected by a casting director, so...

I need a stitch.

Hello?

Stitch me!

No! Not you.

Her.

My craniosacral therapist says that this is your year. Oh, God,

my cell phone, now.

Why won't they leave me alone?

Oh, God.

We've got time for you, 35.

Listen to me, darling.

Hello?

Roxy.

Come in.

She's so beautiful.

Yeah, she is.

Our baby's all grown up.

I should get her from the sitters now.

Hey.

I miss you guys.

Just because of all this doesn't mean that I'll still love you.

I'm sorry, I can't.

I can't believe that skirt looks better on you than it ever did on me.

I don't find it reassuring that the carcinoma has the same... I prefer to

them for most common problems. Okay, but what about the difficulties of

diagnosing them?

But how did you know this was my favorite restaurant?

Well, I've been talking to you for a while now, so... What

was the first fan letter you ever got? Do you remember?

Yeah, I remember. Of course I do. I don't get that many.

Was it your doe -eyed sparkle of life unto my soul?

Oh my God, was that you?

That was so sweet.

Thank you. Oh, Gigi, thank you.

After my mom died, I watched all your movies.

Day after day. I mean, I read all of them.

You got me through the worst time of my life.

My mother died a year ago.

I completely understand what you went through.

Do you want to come to my apartment to have a drink?

It's lovely.

Thanks. My mother repainted it all by herself just before she died.

Make yourself comfortable.

Thanks. Do you want some vodka?

Okay. Okay.

Oh, my God.

I have the same sweater.

Actually, you don't.

I stole that from you off the set of Status of Fear.

Do you by any chance have my silver fringe poncho? The one with the hood?

Yeah. No, I don't have that one.

Why don't you look around and I'll make

the drinks.

Oh, ice.

You want some ice?

Please. Okay.

Oh, my God.

Why is there a picture of a porn star on my shrine?

Well, Gigi, you're not the only girl I'm stalking.

Well, I'm sure I have a lot of other stalkers, but I thought that you and I

something special.

We do.

You know, unique.

Yes. And I was expecting that we would be exclusive.

Oh.

You know, I'm not ready for this.

I don't understand.

You're just moving a little too quickly for me, that's all.

We had such a nice time, though.

Yeah.

I mean, you're still stalking me, aren't you? Yeah, I'm going to still stalk

you.

I'll come by next Tuesday, okay?

So did Grandma Betty like the photos?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Who's Paulette?

What? A Paulette called for you.

She sounded kind of funny.

Okay, come on, let's go.

We're late.

Sasha, now, come on.

Hi, Daddy.

He didn't show and... No, not even a prank call. Nothing.

Have you lost your mind?

It's just that he was so nice, you know, and he fucking liked me so much. Okay,

when are we going to choose to date real normal men and not these weak,

emasculated babies parading as men? When are we going to do that? When?

Well, I think I just have... What?

I met him at the luncheon.

Black boy or bartender?

No. Dr. Earl Stofford.

Large animal doctor.

He's at my table. He's a doctor.

That could come in handy.

He's smart.

He's handsome.

I'm so attracted to him.

Oh, my God, still. That's great.

Yeah, you're never going to believe this. He's 50.

Oh, and Rox, she's got this summer camp for kids where the kids go there for

like three weeks and learn about animals and stuff. I thought it would be great

for Sasha.

Oh, thanks, but Sasha can't go this summer. She's going to Princeton.

What? What?

Yeah. They have this program for gifted children, and every year they choose one

child to attend the classes at college level, and they chose Sasha this year.

Princeton, can you believe that?

She's going to college and I didn't even finish.

Well, I didn't even start, so there.

It gives a shit anyway.

I can't fucking believe that I'm being blown off by my own stalker.

I mean, doesn't he know that I'm considered a sex symbol in some

Yeah.

Guam.

You know what I'd do if I were a girl? What?

I would put on my tightest little mini skirt and my big white pumps, and I

march my ass down there.

Pick my little coochie right in his face. I didn't reckon you'd do that

I would.

You gotta promise me if they ever want to do one of these whatever -happened

stories on me, you'll zoot me first.

Oh, dear.

They'll never do that.

They'll never do that. Why?

Because you're not famous.

What are you doing here?

Hi.

I was just going on a run. This is my route.

No, it isn't. It's Runyon Canyon.

And you walk.

Are you following me?

I'm not following you.

Are you stalking me?

Stalking you? That's crazy.

I'm not stalking you.

I think you are, and I've got to tell you, it's creeping me out.

Do I have to get a restraining order against you?

Restraining order?

What are you doing here? Isn't that Delilah Bang's house?

I guess so, but that's my sister's house there. She asked me to keep an eye on

the place while she's out of town.

I haven't seen you for a while.

What have you been doing?

I said I'd come by on Tuesday.

That's tomorrow.

I think I'm free.

Okay.

Call me.

What are you thinking?

How could you call the house? She didn't know it was me.

That is not the point.

I want to see her.

It's been five years.

No.

She has too much going on. She's going to a gifted program at Princeton. I do

not want you messing with her head.

And she's going?

Yes.

Okay.

I hear you.

Stay away.

But whether you like it or not, Roxy, we're family.

Honey, family went out the window when you started tucking it.

Tatala. Hey, Bubba.

I'm glad this place is bad, Michigan.

I think he's driving me fucking nuts. Oh, baby.

Oh,

Franny, you are so going to win tonight.

We'll see.

Hold on a second.

Honey, Bubba, it's a sure thing.

Honey, don't be nervous.

I'm going to open a bottle of Cristal in the limo. Oh, why don't you guys take

the limo?

No, honey.

The limo's for all of us. I know, I know. I just, I want to work on my

I'm going to drive alone.

Thank you.

God, I'm shvitzing all day.

That's the spirit.

No.

That's the spirit.

Yeah.

God. Listen, um, do you remember how I was back in traffic school?

It's that bad?

It's worse.

Could you just keep your cell phone on? I might need you to talk me through

this. Yeah, I promise. I will totally be there for you. I'm so excited.

I love you.

Where is she with her food? I'm starving.

She better hurry up. Franny's category is coming up.

Not bad.

Best costume design is after upsetting cinematography for non -fiction

programming. She still has time.

Those are leafy spring rolls, right?

Mm -hmm. Okay. And the rice pasta?

That's gluten -free?

Yeah. Gluten -free, no dairy. I got it. Good. Won't be long.

Oh, my God.

I was sort of giving up on you.

But listen, I'm busy. We got takeout. It's the Emmys.

But you can follow me home if you like.

Sure. Why don't you go ahead and I'll leave in five minutes.

Okay.

Love me till the day I die, my ass.

Excuse me. Sorry, am I sending autographs to you right now?

No, I just think that you should know that you have a stalker.

Really?

Honey, just ignore her. I know her. She's crazy.

I'm crazy.

You should know that you are not the only woman he's stalking. He's been

stalking me.

Don't believe her.

You know your sprinkler system?

That was her.

She broke it stalking me.

That was you?

Oh my god, I can't believe G's missing this.

Delilah, listen to me. You are like an amazing performer, you know? And you

could have any stalker you wanted. You don't need this two -timing one.

Wait. I know you.

Forbidden Shadow, you're an actress.

I love that movie.

What? No.

Don't listen to her.

That is so sweet. Thank you. And I have got to tell you that that thing that you

do in Submissive Strap on number five, that is like the best porn ever.

I mean, those positions are so incredible.

I mean, no one does hardcore better than you.

And no one does softcore better than you.

I don't do softcore. I'm an actress.

Oh.

Did you act your ass into that guy's face and eat a McBan?

was a body double. That one. I have a restraining order against that woman.

What? This one? Yeah, you can't come within 400 yards of me.

She's stalking me. And she's harassing me? Deal with it. Right away with

This is insane. You're leaving. Now. What? Oh, come on. This is so fucked.

Hey, wait. That's my father. You're leaving now or I'm calling the police.

This program is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to events, persons, or

companies is entirely coincidental.

Gonna find love in L .A.

I've got to find love in L .A.

And let me tell you what, love will find my name.

There's so much hope in L .A.

So much hope in L .A.

And let me tell you what, love will find my name.

I'm going.