Original subtitles

All right, Jim, you are going to love Emily's cabin.

Oh, I already love it. No wife, no kids, and nobody drinking out of a bottle

except me.

And when I marry Emily, we can go there whenever we want.

You know what? You got so lucky, because when I married Cheryl, you were the

only perk I got.

I don't have to take you, you know. I can go alone.

Oh, yeah? You're going to sleep out in the woods all by yourself in the dark?

Sure. Yeah, with an Indian burial ground a mile away?

Ah, come on. That don't scare me.

It's not like we stole their land and their ghosts want revenge.

Oh, God. Oh, God. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Don't let me go alone.

All right. Apology accepted. Come on. Let's go.

Oh, getting a text.

Probably from the beloved.

Turn around. She likes to get saucy.

Come on, man. Turn around.

Don't peek.

Andy. I will always love you.

Andy, why am I turning around if you're going to read it?

You are the most amazing man.

I bet the saucy part's coming up next.

I'm waiting to blush.

But I have met someone new, and I am eloping to New Mexico.

Can you read the rest? I don't think I can.

I'm terribly sorry for hurting you.

I'm a horrible person.

But I have to do what I have to do.

Holy cow.

I just got dumped.

And it cost me ten cents.

Oh, Andy.

Don't you have unlimited texting?

Oh, my God, my fiancé dumped me, and I have a really bad phone plan.

Oh, this really sucks.

Yeah, it does.

I know what you're going through, man.

You've been dumped like this? Oh, come on, Andy, we all have.

Oh, Jim.

I just want to go home and spend the whole weekend in bed.

There's a little more to the message. Really?

Yeah, let me scan down here.

Oh, feel free to use the cabin this weekend.

I know Jim was looking forward to it, and he would be devastated if he didn't

get a chance to go.

Does not say that. Well, that's where her heart was. You know, she cared for

Jim, I'm hurting here.

All right. Well, let's not compound it by getting stuck in traffic.

No, no, no. There's no way I can go on a guy's weekend now.

Why not?

We both know what you're going to do if you stay here all weekend.

I'll call Emily ten times an hour and eat mayonnaise straight from the jar.

Right. And that is not good for your cholesterol or your weekend minutes.

Now, give me the phone. Give me the phone. I'll be strong for you. No, I

think I can. I don't think I can do it. Andy, Andy, calm down. Calm down.

Listen, if we go, I'll tell you what.

On the way out, we'll stop for some mayonnaise before we hit the highway.

Not the packets.

The jar.

And a hug.

this place short, Andy.

View of the lake, wood -burning stove, sturdy beams in case I want to hang

myself.

Hey, there's progress. You're making jokes.

No, I'm not.

Oh, you're not crying. That's good enough for me. Come on, let's go

Hey, uh, let me see my phone real quick.

Why?

Uh, just curious to see how many bars I get out here.

Andy!

You've got to stop thinking about Emily and who she's with and what he's doing

to her and where he's doing it.

All right, that's it. I'm going to get in the bathtub. You grab the toast.

Andy, Andy, Andy, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on.

We're here. Look.

It's beautiful, the two of us all alone.

Nobody within miles of us.

What the hell?

Emily's ex -husband. You met when I proposed to her?

Oh, I'm sorry, Jerry. I didn't recognize you. You're not sobbing uncontrollably.

She left us!

There you are, Jerry.

How you doing?

You got the text?

New Mexico!

Did you see the picture?

My phone doesn't do pictures.

The kid at the mall said I was getting a really good deal.

Come on, guys. Stop your wailing.

The moose are going to think it's mating season.

I'm sorry.

I thought I'd be alone up here.

It's where I come when I miss her.

But she got the cabin and the divorce.

I break in.

kind of a whore?

Yes, that's part of it. But we came up here to forget about that person.

Now, Jerry, look, you want to hang out, you want to fish, you want to be with

the boys a little bit, you're welcome to stay, all right? That sounds great.

Yeah? Yeah.

Yeah, let's get on that boat. The boat, perfect.

Great. Fresh air, new friends, new memories.

She's down at the dock, third slip on the left. Oh, great.

She's named Forever Emily.

a hundred times every night before bed.

How romantic.

I used to do her nails, but that's not as intimate. No.

All right, that's it.

I'm done.

You know what? You two got to man up and get over this woman. How are we

supposed to do that?

You know what? The best way to get over a woman is to get under another one.

Do you mean... Oh, that could work. Yes!

Come on, let's go find some bar with some really hot mountain women who love

men that smell like mayonnaise.

Do you think they're out there, Jim?

I know they're out there, Andy.

Now, come on, let's go. Let's go find this bar.

Oh, look.

It's Emily's hairbrush.

Show me how you did it.

Well,

that's a lot of flannel.

Hey, nice shot, buddy.

All right, I'm up next, bud.

Hey, what's going on here? Lumberjack convention?

Actually, it's ladies' night.

I'm sorry, ma 'am.

To be fair, it's a little dark in here.

And you do have a little scruff right in here.

That's all right, fish. I ain't offended.

Turned on.

Hey, girls, look what we got here.

Fresh meat.

I didn't come in here for, you know, any kind of... When you come in here

dressed like that...

We know what you come in here for.

It's kind of funny. I just left a couple guys who are acting like women.

I guess maybe you don't get the irony of it.

Well, ladies, I got to tell you, I'm very flattered and a little frightened.

Bad news is I'm married.

That's all right. I'm drunken on parole.

Anybody got any quarters for the jukebox?

How about you, Fish? You got any change?

Oh, no, I don't think so. I'll check his pockets.

Oh.

about that car alarm, Fish.

No one's around to hear it.

Hey, ma 'am.

Ma 'am, listen.

I'm a dude.

Boy, am I off today.

Listen, can you help me out here?

You come waltzing in here dressed like that on ladies' night?

You're on your own.

Ladies' night? There's not even any guys here to pick up...

That's more of a warning than an advertisement.

Who wants a lap dance?

Well, my wife really doesn't approve of this stuff, but you know, what the hell?

You're not the lap.

You're the dance.

A table saw and the fish here.

Peanuts. Shifting, boss.

Call.

Three eights.

Get over here, fish.

Switching sides, boss.

Switching sides.

Enjoy the show, ladies.

Pick up the chips, fish.

Picking up the chips, boss.

I told you that was a place door, not a bull door.

I'll never doubt you again on the subject of doors.

Barking. Oh, hey, tiny.

Another box of wine.

And may I see a tapas menu?

God, you're here.

Jim! Hey, Jim's here.

You guys are hammered. But we didn't drive, Jim. That would be dangerous. We

took the snowmobile.

Guys, you've got to get me out of here.

What is the rush?

You were right.

It's like we wandered into a Miss America contest.

Yeah, well, I wouldn't stick around for the swimsuit competition.

Evening, ladies. Which one of you fair damsels can help a man forget about a

woman? Well, the truth is they probably all can.

pancakes.

What a crazy night it was last night. You know what? You guys are actually fun

with three boxes of wine in you.

I don't know what happened, but I'm not wearing underwear and my inhaler's gone.

One of the chicks probably took it.

Chicks? Oh, right. We had chicks.

You remember?

Not really. It's kind of fuzzy.

How fuzzy?

Pretty fuzzy.

They were smoking gorgeous.

Oh, yeah?

Oh, yeah.

If 10 is the best, they were $250, $300.

Wait, Jim. You didn't stray, did you?

No.

No.

Well, tell the truth. Whose chick was hotter, mine or Jerry's?

Well, it's hard to tell. I mean, these women were...

Unlike any woman I've ever seen.

Or maybe somebody's returning my inhaler.

Oh, God.

Oh, God, it's Emily.

Don't read it! He's right. He's right. He is so right. Come on, Andy. Come on.

Come on. Come on. Let's go fishing.

Come on.

Yeah. Yeah. Fishing.

That's it. That's it. Maybe I'll just take one quick piece. Oh, crap.

Come on, Andy. Andy, I've made a terrible mistake. You're the best thing

ever happened to me. I want you back.

Because she likes me better, Jerry. She likes studs, not duds. I want her back.

Well, I want her back. I want her back. Wait a minute.

Come on, guys.

You're over her.

You just had to find a supermodel's Wisconsin hands to offer her.

I don't care, Jim.

I love Emily, and she loves me. Why don't you want me to be happy?

Sit down.

Both of you, sit down.

She's evil.

Yeah, but she smells so good.

She's the devil.

And you know what? You two need an exorcism.

Give me those phones. No, no, no.

I'm going to burn these phones. You're burning our phones? I'm burning the

phones. But I still have four years left on my contract.

I am burning the power that Emily holds over you.

In order to get rid of her, you've got to get rid of her stuff.

Burn it.

You know what? Maybe we should burn all this stuff and start with this

hairbrush. Not the brush. I'm burning it.

it to me this was your favorite cup burn it what else we got this picture frame

on our honeymoon burn it salt and pepper shakers we got at the flea market oh

yeah burn it pineapple napkin holder yeah all right what about this duck this

500 cashmere scarf she gave me

you got a gift receipt for it no

So free. So clean.

Still a little hungover. But it's a freer hungover. Oh, yeah, definitely.

Welcome back, boys.

Let's celebrate.

All right.

With a shot of rum.

You know, that was her favorite rum.

Gavin. Oh, she did.

Goodbye, Emily.

Good riddance.

Jim, we don't know how to thank you.

You got us over Emily, Jim.

And you hooked us up with two of the most beautiful women to ever walk God's

greener.

I'm glad you're feeling better.

Oh, thank God the fire department.

Wow. Those are... two of the biggest firemen I've ever seen.

Looks like the building's at total loss.

We're just going to keep the fire from spreading to the woods.

How drunk were we last night?

Drunk enough to let the cute one get away.

Hey, ladies.

Thanks.

Hey, that's not cool.

Those men are heroes.

They did things I could never do.