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1
00:00:00,500 --> 00:00:01,860
Keep your eye on the ball.
2
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Now I'm going to throw it right down the
middle, nice and easy.
3
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You swing when I say swing. You ready?
4
00:00:08,140 --> 00:00:09,220
And swing!
5
00:00:12,040 --> 00:00:14,640
All right.
6
00:00:15,680 --> 00:00:17,600
We've established that you can play for
the Cubs.
7
00:00:19,760 --> 00:00:24,580
Son, you've got to understand, this is
the first game where they're not going
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let you use the tee.
9
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They're going to give you three pitches,
and if you miss them...
10
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They're going to bring the tea back out.
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I like the tea. It's easy.
12
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Oh, yeah?
13
00:00:33,970 --> 00:00:35,090
You know what they're all going to say?
14
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They're all going to say, tea ball,
baby, stick your head in gravy.
15
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Can't hit, baby, stick your head in
gravy.
16
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All right, they're a little more mean
than clever, but you're not going to
17
00:00:46,150 --> 00:00:47,150
it.
18
00:00:47,450 --> 00:00:50,690
Maybe I should stay home. No, no, you
don't have to stay home, honey. No, no,
19
00:00:50,730 --> 00:00:52,890
no. You're going to do all right.
Really, you are.
20
00:00:53,150 --> 00:00:54,150
I'm going to be there.
21
00:00:54,430 --> 00:00:58,190
You know what? Mom and the girls, we're
all going to be there because we want
22
00:00:58,190 --> 00:00:59,190
you to do well.
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00:00:59,230 --> 00:01:02,010
I don't care if you girls think Faith
Falls crappy.
24
00:01:02,350 --> 00:01:05,990
I have begged Kyle to plenty of
recitals, and today's your turn to be
25
00:01:05,990 --> 00:01:07,290
because we're a family.
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00:01:16,460 --> 00:01:19,880
Cheryl, Cheryl, we're trying to work on
the boys' swing here. Okay. You have
27
00:01:19,880 --> 00:01:24,200
your choice of snacks for today. You
have fun fruits, grape jingle juice, or
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water crackers with an olive tapenade.
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00:01:28,120 --> 00:01:32,040
Huh? Cheryl, I think you're taking this
mommy snack thing. They got grape jingle
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juice? Yeah.
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Since when did that happen? I don't
know. I guess I got your letter.
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00:01:37,960 --> 00:01:38,960
All right, son.
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00:01:38,980 --> 00:01:42,280
You practice on that swing. Keep it
right in the middle there. Ball's going
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come in the middle and you're going to
hit it.
35
00:01:43,780 --> 00:01:45,460
Because when you smack it...
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00:01:45,770 --> 00:01:47,510
It'll be the best day of your life.
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Go on, keep practicing.
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Good boy.
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00:01:51,030 --> 00:01:52,950
This is going to be the worst day of his
life.
40
00:01:53,950 --> 00:01:56,670
What are you talking about? Are you
blind? The kid is terrible.
41
00:01:56,910 --> 00:01:57,910
Are you sure he's mine?
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I'm going to tell you the same thing I
told you when you caught him eating
43
00:02:02,110 --> 00:02:04,430
salad. He is probably yours.
44
00:02:05,850 --> 00:02:09,910
Oh, come on. Is he really that terrible?
Oh, Cheryl, he is worse than terrible.
45
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He's like Gracie doing ballet terrible.
46
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I'm in the dining room, you know.
47
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Like Ruby playing the flute terrible.
48
00:02:19,440 --> 00:02:20,440
I'm in here, too.
49
00:02:23,020 --> 00:02:25,120
I thought I told you bells for those
kids.
50
00:02:25,680 --> 00:02:26,680
It's one game.
51
00:02:26,960 --> 00:02:28,700
Maybe it'll surprise you. Yeah.
52
00:02:34,700 --> 00:02:35,700
Oh, crap!
53
00:02:36,500 --> 00:02:38,820
Well, at least he swears like a ball
player.
54
00:03:29,900 --> 00:03:30,900
going to be good, honey.
55
00:03:31,700 --> 00:03:32,860
I think I should do something.
56
00:03:33,120 --> 00:03:35,840
No, Jim, this is Kyle's at -bat, not
yours.
57
00:03:36,400 --> 00:03:38,540
Hey, why don't you have some more top
knot, huh?
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You're at two.
59
00:03:43,540 --> 00:03:44,740
Cheryl, I need to do something.
60
00:03:44,960 --> 00:03:47,680
No, you're the one always saying he
needs to fight his own battle.
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00:03:48,780 --> 00:03:52,280
Why is it the only time you listen to my
advice is when you can throw it back at
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00:03:52,280 --> 00:03:53,280
me?
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00:04:14,960 --> 00:04:16,380
This is not going very well.
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00:04:17,360 --> 00:04:18,399
I'm going to go take a leak.
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What?
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00:04:35,880 --> 00:04:36,880
Andy?
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00:04:37,880 --> 00:04:39,140
What the hell are you doing in here?
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I'm not Andy. I'm Andy's ghost.
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What? That's right.
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00:04:44,520 --> 00:04:48,620
I'm coming to visit from the future and
the grave so you can see how Kyle turned
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00:04:48,620 --> 00:04:49,620
out.
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00:04:49,780 --> 00:04:51,520
You're from the future and you're dead.
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00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:53,740
Look, we don't have time for questions.
74
00:04:54,900 --> 00:04:56,780
You know, this is weird. I'm going to
pee in the bushes.
75
00:05:03,800 --> 00:05:06,860
What the hell, Andy? This is my house.
76
00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:08,880
Yes, it is. In the future.
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00:05:11,560 --> 00:05:12,560
Come on, really?
78
00:05:12,580 --> 00:05:13,580
You're really dead?
79
00:05:13,660 --> 00:05:17,860
Yeah. I died ten years after that
baseball game. I was pulling a bunch of
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00:05:17,860 --> 00:05:19,240
orphans out of a burning building.
81
00:05:20,660 --> 00:05:21,660
Come on.
82
00:05:22,220 --> 00:05:23,260
Okay, heart attack.
83
00:05:24,140 --> 00:05:26,500
What do you want from me? It's those
chili fries.
84
00:05:27,020 --> 00:05:30,100
Why did God make something so bad taste
so good?
85
00:05:31,440 --> 00:05:32,600
Why don't you ask him?
86
00:05:33,020 --> 00:05:34,020
We're not speaking.
87
00:05:36,500 --> 00:05:39,060
Hey, look, there you are. The future
Jim.
88
00:05:39,800 --> 00:05:41,220
Wow, I look pretty good.
89
00:05:41,500 --> 00:05:43,140
And Cheryl looks great.
90
00:05:43,720 --> 00:05:44,720
Hey, hey, there's Ryan.
91
00:05:45,320 --> 00:05:46,780
Dean is pregnant again?
92
00:05:47,360 --> 00:05:48,800
With their seventh baby.
93
00:05:49,840 --> 00:05:52,020
Not one named after a beloved uncle.
94
00:05:52,420 --> 00:05:55,380
They have Randy, Sandy, Brandy.
95
00:05:55,900 --> 00:06:00,100
I've got it. What? The name for the new
baby. Okay, okay, wait. Here it comes.
96
00:06:01,040 --> 00:06:02,480
Spandy. Oh,
97
00:06:03,280 --> 00:06:04,680
Ryan, Ryan.
98
00:06:05,260 --> 00:06:06,880
Spandy. I like that.
99
00:06:08,100 --> 00:06:09,180
Spandy? Yeah.
100
00:06:09,600 --> 00:06:12,440
That doesn't make any sense. That's it.
I'm haunting them.
101
00:06:14,760 --> 00:06:16,780
Him, two sandwiches just like every day.
102
00:06:17,020 --> 00:06:20,500
Yeah, and you never gain any weight.
What, are you feeding one to Andy's
103
00:06:22,800 --> 00:06:26,300
No, if they're for Andy's ghost, they
come with a side of chili fries.
104
00:06:29,060 --> 00:06:35,920
Gosh, he was so... Still not over my
105
00:06:35,920 --> 00:06:36,920
death, poor things.
106
00:06:39,260 --> 00:06:40,860
Wow, look at that, two sandwiches.
107
00:06:41,300 --> 00:06:42,300
Not so fast.
108
00:06:42,980 --> 00:06:44,360
Okay, Kyle, lunchtime.
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00:06:48,140 --> 00:06:49,440
Is that Kyle?
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00:06:50,000 --> 00:06:51,000
Yep.
111
00:06:51,220 --> 00:06:52,220
Are they gone?
112
00:06:52,500 --> 00:06:55,720
Yes, they're gone. Come on, have some
lunch with me.
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00:06:56,340 --> 00:06:58,960
26 years old and still living at home in
that cabinet.
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00:06:59,640 --> 00:07:02,600
He never got over being laughed at when
they brought the tea out.
115
00:07:03,820 --> 00:07:04,960
Were they laughing at me?
116
00:07:05,760 --> 00:07:07,400
Like that time they brought the tea out?
117
00:07:08,360 --> 00:07:12,360
No, they think you're up in Alaska
racing sled dogs, like I told them.
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00:07:13,380 --> 00:07:14,380
I like dogs.
119
00:07:16,180 --> 00:07:17,200
Dogs don't laugh.
120
00:07:18,900 --> 00:07:19,900
Come on.
121
00:07:20,020 --> 00:07:21,020
Eat your sandwich.
122
00:07:21,700 --> 00:07:22,700
I can't.
123
00:07:23,020 --> 00:07:24,020
Why not?
124
00:07:24,460 --> 00:07:25,680
What if someone comes in?
125
00:07:26,120 --> 00:07:27,120
So what?
126
00:07:27,160 --> 00:07:28,320
They might tease me.
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00:07:28,880 --> 00:07:31,000
What are they going to say? Roast beef,
baby?
128
00:07:31,460 --> 00:07:32,600
Stick your head in gravy?
129
00:07:33,760 --> 00:07:34,760
Oh, God.
130
00:07:34,780 --> 00:07:35,780
I'm sorry.
131
00:07:35,800 --> 00:07:36,419
I'm sorry.
132
00:07:36,420 --> 00:07:37,460
This is terrible.
133
00:07:38,520 --> 00:07:40,620
So I'm hiding them in my own house?
134
00:07:41,080 --> 00:07:42,080
Sure.
135
00:07:42,800 --> 00:07:44,900
You know this is your fault that he's
here.
136
00:07:46,500 --> 00:07:47,660
Just pick it up.
137
00:07:49,020 --> 00:07:50,620
I can't. I'll miss.
138
00:07:54,280 --> 00:07:55,280
Fine.
139
00:08:09,600 --> 00:08:10,900
It's sad, isn't it?
140
00:08:11,320 --> 00:08:14,520
And just think, five years time, your
son will be dead.
141
00:08:16,880 --> 00:08:17,880
Dead?
142
00:08:18,460 --> 00:08:20,220
I'm sorry, did I say dead? I meant bald.
143
00:08:22,380 --> 00:08:25,000
I should have done something.
144
00:08:25,500 --> 00:08:27,080
The boy needed me that day.
145
00:08:27,780 --> 00:08:29,380
You just sat there and did nothing.
146
00:08:29,840 --> 00:08:31,480
Kind of like the day of my heart attack.
147
00:08:33,679 --> 00:08:36,940
Actually, you did do something. You
finished my chili fries and paid with my
148
00:08:36,940 --> 00:08:37,940
credit card.
149
00:08:39,400 --> 00:08:43,500
Andy, I got to do something. Help me.
Take me back. Let me do something. No,
150
00:08:43,539 --> 00:08:46,840
no. That's not in my job description.
Come on. Andy, you got to help me.
151
00:08:47,060 --> 00:08:48,460
All right. On one condition.
152
00:08:48,900 --> 00:08:52,460
Ten years from now at my funeral, no
jokes about the double -wide casket.
153
00:08:53,040 --> 00:08:55,720
Just because I'm dead doesn't mean I
don't have feelings.
154
00:09:00,440 --> 00:09:01,600
I've got to get a second seat.
155
00:09:27,370 --> 00:09:29,210
Just sit there and mind your knitting.
156
00:09:30,970 --> 00:09:32,070
Where are you going?
157
00:09:32,350 --> 00:09:33,410
We've got to help my son out.
158
00:09:34,490 --> 00:09:36,990
I've got to get him on base.
159
00:09:38,010 --> 00:09:39,110
Kyle, time out.
160
00:09:39,610 --> 00:09:40,509
Time out.
161
00:09:40,510 --> 00:09:41,510
Kyle, come here.
162
00:09:44,810 --> 00:09:47,150
Listen, first of all, hold this right.
163
00:09:47,750 --> 00:09:49,330
I just can't hit that ball.
164
00:09:49,570 --> 00:09:50,570
We've established that.
165
00:09:51,170 --> 00:09:53,670
But the ball can hit you.
166
00:09:54,530 --> 00:09:55,990
Then you get to go to first base.
167
00:09:57,040 --> 00:09:58,040
You know what that means?
168
00:09:58,460 --> 00:09:59,760
They don't have to bring the tea out.
169
00:10:00,120 --> 00:10:01,120
You know what that means?
170
00:10:01,520 --> 00:10:02,720
Nobody has to laugh at you.
171
00:10:03,000 --> 00:10:05,840
And you don't have to live in a cabinet
underneath the stairs.
172
00:10:31,560 --> 00:10:32,740
Why don't you stick to your head in
Greek?
173
00:10:34,160 --> 00:10:35,160
Jerk.
174
00:10:36,640 --> 00:10:37,640
Come on!
175
00:10:41,140 --> 00:10:42,140
Andy.
176
00:10:42,280 --> 00:10:43,280
Okay.
177
00:10:43,420 --> 00:10:46,800
Take me to the future. Show me what a
great man Cal turns out to be.
178
00:10:47,140 --> 00:10:48,140
Oh, James.
179
00:10:48,640 --> 00:10:51,480
Oh, sweet, innocent, stupid James.
180
00:11:01,040 --> 00:11:02,040
You're fun at work.
181
00:11:04,300 --> 00:11:05,740
Oh, this isn't so bad.
182
00:11:06,160 --> 00:11:07,320
He works with kids.
183
00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:08,620
He's a loser.
184
00:11:09,780 --> 00:11:10,980
A big loser.
185
00:11:11,780 --> 00:11:15,060
And that's coming from a guy who's
buried in a Harry Potter costume.
186
00:12:37,200 --> 00:12:38,240
said that John is correct.
187
00:12:38,760 --> 00:12:40,620
Our boy becomes a piñata.
188
00:12:41,840 --> 00:12:45,660
Wow. Gets her back to selling dollar
beers at the concession stand.
189
00:12:46,860 --> 00:12:49,180
You know, Mama is thirsty.
190
00:12:56,500 --> 00:12:57,800
Time out! Time out!
191
00:12:58,260 --> 00:13:00,220
Come here, son.
192
00:13:01,560 --> 00:13:04,420
First of all, switch your hands like we
practice.
193
00:13:05,360 --> 00:13:06,500
Kyle, listen to me.
194
00:13:10,740 --> 00:13:12,640
This guy is your enemy.
195
00:13:13,060 --> 00:13:14,960
Show no mercy with him.
196
00:13:53,820 --> 00:13:58,540
Jim, I come to you on the day of your
daughter Gracie's wedding
197
00:13:58,540 --> 00:14:02,080
to ask you this favor.
198
00:14:05,480 --> 00:14:06,480
Please.
199
00:14:08,600 --> 00:14:10,420
Please return my lawnmower.
200
00:14:22,250 --> 00:14:23,250
This I cannot do.
201
00:14:24,450 --> 00:14:26,010
Why am I talking like that?
202
00:14:26,470 --> 00:14:29,690
You just had dental surgery and they
haven't taken the packing out.
203
00:14:33,590 --> 00:14:35,970
But, Jim. He said he can't do it.
204
00:14:36,690 --> 00:14:41,070
My son.
205
00:14:42,150 --> 00:14:43,490
Who taught you this?
206
00:14:44,570 --> 00:14:45,570
This disrespect.
207
00:14:47,030 --> 00:14:48,030
You did, Pop.
208
00:14:48,690 --> 00:14:50,190
Me? Yeah.
209
00:14:50,730 --> 00:14:51,730
At T -Ball.
210
00:14:52,060 --> 00:14:53,360
When I whacked that pitcher.
211
00:14:57,600 --> 00:14:58,600
Colonel.
212
00:15:15,640 --> 00:15:16,880
This is family.
213
00:15:19,140 --> 00:15:20,420
This is your uncle.
214
00:15:22,280 --> 00:15:23,560
This is my enemy.
215
00:15:24,140 --> 00:15:26,300
He's choosing the lawnmower over the
family.
216
00:15:26,620 --> 00:15:29,640
But, Kyle, it's summer, and the grass,
it grows.
217
00:15:51,530 --> 00:15:53,630
And just think, in a few years, he'll be
in prison.
218
00:15:54,190 --> 00:15:58,610
Prison? Oh, did I say prison? I'm sorry,
I meant... No, no, no, prison's right.
219
00:16:01,230 --> 00:16:02,230
What have you done?
220
00:16:04,390 --> 00:16:05,550
You killed your uncle.
221
00:16:06,510 --> 00:16:07,630
Are you a snitch?
222
00:16:08,790 --> 00:16:10,230
Do we have a problem here?
223
00:16:14,250 --> 00:16:15,250
I'm good.
224
00:16:21,040 --> 00:16:21,999
It's the cops.
225
00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:23,000
Bring it on.
226
00:16:24,660 --> 00:16:25,660
Kyle.
227
00:16:26,000 --> 00:16:27,000
Kyle. Kyle.
228
00:16:35,960 --> 00:16:38,800
How's it just covered to tell you that
they're cutting the cake?
229
00:16:42,120 --> 00:16:43,120
Kyle.
230
00:16:43,440 --> 00:16:44,820
You've killed another uncle.
231
00:16:46,140 --> 00:16:48,200
I'm going to do something. I'm going to
turn this around.
232
00:16:48,520 --> 00:16:49,620
Andy, take me back.
233
00:18:29,640 --> 00:18:30,740
Cool stuff you did with me.
234
00:18:31,240 --> 00:18:32,240
Really?
235
00:18:32,500 --> 00:18:34,340
After this game, you take me to ice
cream.
236
00:18:34,740 --> 00:18:38,500
That's what you remember as ice cream?
You kids with the sugar. It's really
237
00:18:38,500 --> 00:18:39,500
ice cream. I know.
238
00:18:39,660 --> 00:18:42,120
Well, Uncle Andy went back for thirds,
and you've really got to talk to him
239
00:18:42,120 --> 00:18:43,480
about that. I'm going to talk to him
about that.
240
00:18:44,540 --> 00:18:48,900
But don't try to tell me that this at
-bat didn't change your life. This had
241
00:18:48,900 --> 00:18:49,900
be a turning point.
242
00:18:50,800 --> 00:18:53,680
I don't remember one big turning point.
243
00:18:54,280 --> 00:18:57,060
I remember you at my games, taking me
camping.
244
00:18:58,120 --> 00:19:01,840
Once you dressed up as a pinata and let
me and my friends beat you with a bat. I
245
00:19:01,840 --> 00:19:02,920
did that?
246
00:19:03,300 --> 00:19:04,300
Yeah.
247
00:19:04,980 --> 00:19:06,960
You were the one who noticed I was left
-handed.
248
00:19:08,860 --> 00:19:11,540
Oh, Sean, you know what it's like as a
parent.
249
00:19:12,060 --> 00:19:17,220
I mean, all you think about is these big
turning points in your child's life,
250
00:19:17,360 --> 00:19:20,240
and if you don't hit it right, things
are going to change, and the world is
251
00:19:20,240 --> 00:19:21,240
going to... No, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad.
252
00:19:21,660 --> 00:19:24,580
You were there for me every step of the
way.
253
00:19:26,060 --> 00:19:27,060
Great dad.
254
00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:38,599
Okay, Dad.
255
00:19:38,600 --> 00:19:40,860
If you don't put me down, they're going
to throw me out at home.
256
00:19:41,260 --> 00:19:42,260
No, go, go!
257
00:19:46,400 --> 00:19:47,400
Hey!
258
00:19:49,200 --> 00:19:52,260
All right!
259
00:19:53,860 --> 00:19:54,900
I'm a good dad.
260
00:19:55,140 --> 00:19:57,260
I'm a good dad. Stick your head in
gravy.
261
00:19:59,980 --> 00:20:02,040
Oh, Ryan, you should have seen it.
262
00:20:02,330 --> 00:20:04,030
The kid was great. He had six hits.
263
00:20:04,470 --> 00:20:07,910
Six. I'm so sorry we missed that. Yeah,
I thought it was just going to be like
264
00:20:07,910 --> 00:20:09,370
one of the girls' crappy recitals.
265
00:20:10,270 --> 00:20:12,530
Hey, we're right here.
266
00:20:13,610 --> 00:20:15,670
You know, they even gave Kyle the game
ball.
267
00:20:15,930 --> 00:20:17,790
That's great, son. That's so great.
268
00:20:18,090 --> 00:20:21,090
What are you going to do with that? I
want to give it to someone for helping
269
00:20:21,090 --> 00:20:22,029
out today.
270
00:20:22,030 --> 00:20:25,530
Oh, son, that is fabulous. Thank you,
but... Here you go, Mommy.
271
00:20:28,050 --> 00:20:29,050
Kyle.
272
00:20:29,310 --> 00:20:31,410
Oh, my God, I'm going to cry.
273
00:20:32,110 --> 00:20:33,110
Come here.
274
00:20:34,030 --> 00:20:35,730
You know what?
275
00:20:36,470 --> 00:20:39,410
I am going to go make you a special
first -hit cake.
276
00:20:42,530 --> 00:20:45,570
Sorry, Daddy, but I knew the ball would
give me a cake.
277
00:20:47,630 --> 00:20:48,630
That's my boy.
278
00:20:51,630 --> 00:20:53,190
Can't get enough of these chili fries.
279
00:20:54,270 --> 00:20:56,110
I swear they're going to be the death of
me.
280
00:20:57,610 --> 00:21:01,010
Andy, Andy, Andy, what do you say you
put that down when we go out for a
281
00:21:01,539 --> 00:21:02,539
Yeah, right.
282
00:21:03,660 --> 00:21:05,800
What's next, join a gym and start
exercising?
283
00:21:06,860 --> 00:21:08,380
Mind your own business, creep.
284
00:21:11,040 --> 00:21:12,620
Left arm feels kind of numb.
285
00:21:13,640 --> 00:21:14,820
Must have slept on it funny.
286
00:21:16,180 --> 00:21:17,180
Oh.
287
00:21:17,460 --> 00:21:20,160
By the way, Jim, do you think I could
get my lawnmower back?
288
00:21:22,820 --> 00:21:24,180
This I cannot do.
289
00:21:26,220 --> 00:21:28,860
But, Jim, you've got two of them. He
said he can't do it.
21071
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