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1
00:00:01,559 --> 00:00:05,680
Man, all those times we ran out of
propane before our steaks were done,
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00:00:05,680 --> 00:00:08,100
thought of hooking directly into the
house's gas line.
3
00:00:09,540 --> 00:00:12,320
Yeah, all those other times we weren't
drinking beer either.
4
00:00:16,079 --> 00:00:17,640
All right. Okay.
5
00:00:19,720 --> 00:00:20,880
Ready? Uh -huh.
6
00:00:33,450 --> 00:00:35,230
Turned against her? Yeah, it's the
house.
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Oh,
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my
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God!
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Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
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Turned on its side, we got ourselves a
rocket car?
12
00:00:50,130 --> 00:00:51,130
Yeah!
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00:00:53,610 --> 00:00:54,610
Oh,
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00:00:57,470 --> 00:00:58,470
baby.
15
00:01:01,310 --> 00:01:02,310
You know, Kyle?
16
00:01:03,470 --> 00:01:07,970
For a father and son, there is nothing
like the first time they race slot cars
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00:01:07,970 --> 00:01:10,350
together. Daddy, can Cal swim?
18
00:01:13,350 --> 00:01:15,630
Kyle, it's the same answer as yesterday.
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Only when they have to.
20
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Ready, set, go!
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my son.
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00:01:46,010 --> 00:01:47,230
Hey. Hey, Cheryl.
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Can cows swim?
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00:01:49,710 --> 00:01:50,710
I don't care.
25
00:01:52,050 --> 00:01:55,210
Hey, where's Andy? I thought you guys
had the Andeanapolis 500 today.
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00:01:55,430 --> 00:01:58,490
Yeah, we did, but then he remembered he
had a doctor's appointment. You know
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00:01:58,490 --> 00:02:01,830
what? He's been on this health kick ever
since he had those chest pains. I don't
28
00:02:01,830 --> 00:02:02,830
get it.
29
00:02:04,130 --> 00:02:05,130
Hey, you know what?
30
00:02:05,750 --> 00:02:09,030
I'm going to do a few pages in our
holiday scrapbook later. Want to help
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00:02:10,570 --> 00:02:12,430
I'm bored, Cheryl, not somebody else.
32
00:02:14,570 --> 00:02:15,570
Oh, you're so bored.
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Would you mind taking this over to Dana
for me?
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00:02:17,730 --> 00:02:18,790
Fine. Thank you.
35
00:02:20,670 --> 00:02:26,210
You want to take Kyle with you?
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I don't know. He seems a little busy.
37
00:02:33,550 --> 00:02:34,550
And a little weird.
38
00:02:44,520 --> 00:02:46,640
Stain was on there before I stopped for
coffee.
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00:02:48,500 --> 00:02:50,300
Jim, it's still wet.
40
00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:53,840
Weird.
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00:02:54,580 --> 00:02:56,240
The strap is torn.
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00:02:56,480 --> 00:02:59,320
Yeah, well, that was torn before I
slammed it in the car door.
43
00:03:27,500 --> 00:03:28,500
a versatile one.
44
00:03:41,140 --> 00:03:43,880
Okay, okay, hey, look, don't get the
wrong idea, all right?
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00:03:44,100 --> 00:03:48,560
I know it looks like something else, but
believe me, we're just playing chess.
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00:03:49,180 --> 00:03:50,460
Just playing chess?
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00:03:51,060 --> 00:03:52,700
Then what are you sneaking around for?
48
00:03:53,340 --> 00:03:55,200
Can you answer that question, Doc?
49
00:03:55,480 --> 00:03:56,480
I don't know, Jim.
50
00:03:57,140 --> 00:03:59,580
Maybe if you played chess with Andy at
home a little more often, he wouldn't
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00:03:59,580 --> 00:04:00,880
have to come around here looking for it.
52
00:04:02,400 --> 00:04:05,700
Yeah, well, maybe I'd play more chess
with him if it wasn't the stupidest game
53
00:04:05,700 --> 00:04:08,220
in the whole world. It is not the
stupidest game in the whole world. Oh,
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00:04:08,220 --> 00:04:10,700
right, you're right. It's the gayest.
Oh, come on. Guys,
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00:04:11,720 --> 00:04:14,440
please, can't we be civil here? All
right, you're right, you're right,
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00:04:14,440 --> 00:04:15,440
right.
57
00:04:15,640 --> 00:04:16,640
What?
58
00:04:16,779 --> 00:04:18,760
Are you wearing Ryan's sweatpants?
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00:04:20,360 --> 00:04:22,380
Um, yeah, uh, yeah, I spilled something.
60
00:04:24,220 --> 00:04:25,220
Coffee. Orange juice.
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00:04:27,010 --> 00:04:28,010
Orange juice.
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00:04:29,890 --> 00:04:32,210
Decaf latte with just a little bit of
foam.
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00:04:37,650 --> 00:04:41,810
So, is this the reason that you missed
bowling the other night? No, no.
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00:04:42,550 --> 00:04:43,550
Yeah.
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00:04:44,510 --> 00:04:47,370
And why you left early during the Planet
of the Apes marathon?
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00:04:50,610 --> 00:04:54,570
You probably didn't even have the chest
paints, did you? No, no, those were
67
00:04:54,570 --> 00:04:55,570
real.
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00:04:55,950 --> 00:04:58,090
I don't know what that was all about.
Probably gas.
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00:05:00,070 --> 00:05:01,390
You had chest pains, Andy?
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00:05:01,830 --> 00:05:05,410
Okay, you know what? That's it. I'm
taking your blood pressure. As long as
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00:05:05,410 --> 00:05:06,450
don't do it rectally.
72
00:05:08,670 --> 00:05:10,430
Not if you were stuffed full of gold.
73
00:05:12,690 --> 00:05:16,510
Hey, hurry back. You are 37 moves away
from complete destruction.
74
00:05:17,730 --> 00:05:18,730
Chest time!
75
00:05:28,560 --> 00:05:29,960
Why can't you tell me the truth?
76
00:05:30,200 --> 00:05:33,380
Well, because, Jim, it's not always easy
to tell you the truth. What do you mean
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00:05:33,380 --> 00:05:35,040
I'm easy as pie, man?
78
00:05:35,320 --> 00:05:38,500
Oh, Jim, sometimes you're a little
confrontational.
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00:05:38,720 --> 00:05:39,720
Me?
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00:05:40,080 --> 00:05:41,980
Confrontational? Yeah. Come on.
81
00:05:42,660 --> 00:05:45,180
Come on, try me. Try me. No. Try me!
82
00:05:46,900 --> 00:05:50,120
Sometimes you're a little overwhelming,
and I gotta tell you, you can be mean.
83
00:05:50,380 --> 00:05:51,380
What?
84
00:05:59,050 --> 00:06:02,550
needs a break from you. Oh, and he wants
a break from Jim.
85
00:06:03,110 --> 00:06:06,730
Oh, yeah. You need a break from me, huh?
Yeah, crazy, isn't it? I mean, most
86
00:06:06,730 --> 00:06:10,070
people like to get yelled at all the
time. Well, why don't you hang around
87
00:06:10,070 --> 00:06:13,370
your little buddy Ryan there? All he
yells is ch -ch -ch -ch -ch -chest time!
88
00:06:13,810 --> 00:06:15,410
Ch -ch -ch -ch -ch -chest time!
89
00:06:17,950 --> 00:06:19,910
You know what, Jim? That's a great idea.
90
00:06:20,130 --> 00:06:24,390
Maybe I will. Maybe I'll just hang out
with Ryan more often. And you, you have
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00:06:24,390 --> 00:06:26,210
fun hanging out by yourself.
92
00:06:27,030 --> 00:06:31,190
I'm not gonna hang... out by myself. I
won't have to hang out by myself. Yeah,
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00:06:31,190 --> 00:06:35,150
you will, Jim, and here's why. Why? I'm
your only friend and you know it.
94
00:06:37,270 --> 00:06:38,270
Come on.
95
00:06:45,710 --> 00:06:48,590
I got a pizza for Dr. Ryan. Get great.
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00:06:54,810 --> 00:06:55,810
The pain side.
97
00:07:11,120 --> 00:07:12,660
Jim, Jim's taking the lead from Jim.
98
00:07:13,220 --> 00:07:16,180
Jim's taking the lead from Jim. Now
Jim's coming up on Jim. He's coming up
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00:07:16,180 --> 00:07:19,880
closer. Oh, no, Jim is leading. Oh, my
God, we're coming to the final trap, and
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00:07:19,880 --> 00:07:21,500
Jim beats Jim.
101
00:07:44,400 --> 00:07:45,400
You can't race cars.
102
00:07:46,620 --> 00:07:48,580
I am going to kick your ass.
103
00:07:54,260 --> 00:07:55,960
Are you mad at me?
104
00:07:58,120 --> 00:07:59,800
No, honey, I was just...
105
00:08:14,320 --> 00:08:15,320
Driving safely.
106
00:08:17,280 --> 00:08:19,540
Cheryl, you got to go faster. I am
lapping you.
107
00:08:19,860 --> 00:08:24,420
No, slow and steady wins the race. It's
like the tortoise and the hare. Your guy
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00:08:24,420 --> 00:08:26,180
is going to get really tired.
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00:08:30,220 --> 00:08:32,419
Ah, see? Ah, it's just after you.
110
00:08:33,039 --> 00:08:34,480
Slow and steady.
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00:08:36,780 --> 00:08:38,039
Can't play with you.
112
00:08:38,620 --> 00:08:41,200
Well, then I guess we're just going to
have to wait until Andy's done playing
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00:08:41,200 --> 00:08:42,200
chess with Ryan.
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00:08:42,500 --> 00:08:43,520
Rhino, the stupid.
115
00:08:47,160 --> 00:08:50,900
Honey, why don't you just admit that
you're jealous of Ryan?
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00:08:51,260 --> 00:08:53,020
Well, he does get to see a lot of naked
women.
117
00:08:54,360 --> 00:08:56,760
But he says it's much different than
that. No, no!
118
00:08:57,960 --> 00:09:00,400
He's jealous all the time he's spending
with Andy.
119
00:09:00,680 --> 00:09:02,980
What? You know, it's okay that you miss
him.
120
00:09:03,600 --> 00:09:05,080
I don't miss him.
121
00:09:05,460 --> 00:09:07,160
I don't miss him.
122
00:09:07,460 --> 00:09:10,840
He just, he wants to take a break from
me.
123
00:09:15,150 --> 00:09:18,730
Optimism and his look on life, his
cheery attitude makes me sick.
124
00:09:21,950 --> 00:09:24,130
Hey, you want to call the guys in the
band?
125
00:09:24,430 --> 00:09:25,430
No.
126
00:09:26,090 --> 00:09:29,530
They're okay as a group, but
individually they're a little creepy.
127
00:09:31,410 --> 00:09:35,610
Every time I shake Tony's hand, he holds
on to it just a little too long.
128
00:09:38,070 --> 00:09:39,070
Freaks me out.
129
00:09:40,070 --> 00:09:41,070
Hey, you know what?
130
00:09:41,370 --> 00:09:44,610
Kyle's friend Jackman is coming over to
play. I'm going to call and have him...
131
00:09:44,700 --> 00:09:46,380
dad bring him? Oh, Kevin?
132
00:09:46,720 --> 00:09:48,520
Yeah. He doesn't even know me.
133
00:09:48,820 --> 00:09:50,000
Yes, he likes you.
134
00:09:50,240 --> 00:09:51,240
He does?
135
00:09:53,200 --> 00:09:54,200
Yeah.
136
00:09:54,620 --> 00:09:56,800
What did he say? He said he likes you.
137
00:09:58,520 --> 00:09:59,520
He said that?
138
00:09:59,780 --> 00:10:00,780
Yeah.
139
00:10:01,040 --> 00:10:02,540
What were his exact words?
140
00:10:02,860 --> 00:10:06,580
Well, I think he said that he'd see you
around sometime.
141
00:10:16,680 --> 00:10:18,960
trying to put me on a play date. Now
it's a blind play date?
142
00:10:20,600 --> 00:10:23,120
Look, you seem lonely.
143
00:10:23,600 --> 00:10:28,100
Lonely? What's lonely about a grown man
playing slot cars by himself?
144
00:10:29,380 --> 00:10:31,880
I don't know. The by himself part.
145
00:10:33,080 --> 00:10:34,340
The grown man part.
146
00:10:35,520 --> 00:10:37,260
You know, really the slot car part.
147
00:10:38,240 --> 00:10:40,420
Where are you going?
148
00:10:40,700 --> 00:10:45,680
I'm going to a bar called Stevie B's
where they have sports.
149
00:10:48,460 --> 00:10:53,200
So, lady, you clean up this house, do
something with your hair because I'm
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00:10:53,200 --> 00:10:54,320
coming home with a man.
151
00:11:19,120 --> 00:11:20,660
It's going okay. Yeah, cool.
152
00:11:21,320 --> 00:11:24,240
Well, actually, I'm going to have to...
153
00:11:24,240 --> 00:11:39,280
What's
154
00:11:39,280 --> 00:11:40,280
going on?
155
00:11:41,180 --> 00:11:44,880
Nothing, I just thought... I guess that
was really funny.
156
00:11:45,240 --> 00:11:46,240
What was?
157
00:11:46,320 --> 00:11:48,200
You know, what you said.
158
00:11:48,780 --> 00:11:49,860
Did you even hear what I said?
159
00:11:54,060 --> 00:11:55,060
No.
160
00:11:55,960 --> 00:11:57,000
But you laughed at anyone?
161
00:11:59,400 --> 00:12:00,400
See you guys.
162
00:12:07,280 --> 00:12:08,179
Rough day?
163
00:12:08,180 --> 00:12:09,180
Yeah, pretty bad.
164
00:12:11,260 --> 00:12:12,260
Why are you up here?
165
00:12:12,980 --> 00:12:14,440
Can I get another one for my friend
here?
166
00:12:15,100 --> 00:12:16,100
Wings, man.
167
00:12:16,910 --> 00:12:20,350
That's great. That's just terrific.
Thank you. I am Jim. Henry, nice to meet
168
00:12:20,350 --> 00:12:21,350
you. Nice to meet you.
169
00:12:22,130 --> 00:12:23,370
Oh, great.
170
00:12:23,730 --> 00:12:25,030
That's really nice of you, man.
171
00:12:25,350 --> 00:12:30,070
I tell you, Jim, I've got a whole new
outlook on life since my boys won the
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00:12:30,070 --> 00:12:31,070
series last year.
173
00:12:41,710 --> 00:12:42,710
Socks fan?
174
00:12:43,470 --> 00:12:44,409
Cubs fan?
175
00:12:44,410 --> 00:12:45,410
Yeah.
176
00:12:45,650 --> 00:12:46,650
I'm keeping the beer.
177
00:12:46,890 --> 00:12:47,890
Choke on it.
178
00:12:49,950 --> 00:12:51,410
Hello. Hi.
179
00:12:52,910 --> 00:12:54,590
I've been watching you. Uh -huh.
180
00:12:55,650 --> 00:12:56,970
You seem a little lonely.
181
00:12:58,610 --> 00:13:00,050
And a little cute, too.
182
00:13:00,730 --> 00:13:01,990
Why don't you buy me a drink?
183
00:13:02,950 --> 00:13:05,710
Oh, no thanks. I'm only interested in
guys tonight.
184
00:13:13,450 --> 00:13:15,550
Hey, pal, could you change it to ESPN
classic?
185
00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:18,240
Yeah, there's a chess match my buddy and
I want to see.
186
00:13:18,580 --> 00:13:19,580
Chess?
187
00:13:20,580 --> 00:13:21,580
That's it.
188
00:13:21,840 --> 00:13:22,659
That's it.
189
00:13:22,660 --> 00:13:25,760
You know what? All you guys think that
you're such good friends, huh?
190
00:13:26,040 --> 00:13:29,680
Well, you're not good friends. Because
when the beer runs out and the game is
191
00:13:29,680 --> 00:13:30,680
over, what do you got?
192
00:13:30,960 --> 00:13:32,040
You got nothing.
193
00:13:33,200 --> 00:13:36,140
You may work together. You may be
married to his sister.
194
00:13:36,580 --> 00:13:37,580
But you know what?
195
00:13:37,980 --> 00:13:39,260
You're all replaceable.
196
00:13:40,940 --> 00:13:42,660
I'm sorry. Are you talking to us?
197
00:14:04,910 --> 00:14:06,370
You know, that's a parent's job, Dana.
198
00:14:06,670 --> 00:14:07,670
We're doing fractions.
199
00:14:08,390 --> 00:14:09,390
Carry on.
200
00:14:11,170 --> 00:14:14,930
Oh, Ruby, your friend Emily called. She
won't be able to skate with you
201
00:14:14,930 --> 00:14:16,370
tomorrow. Oh, man.
202
00:14:16,610 --> 00:14:18,630
She never goes skating with me anymore.
203
00:14:19,090 --> 00:14:20,510
I bet she's playing with Gina.
204
00:14:20,870 --> 00:14:22,610
I thought you and Emily were best
friends.
205
00:14:22,930 --> 00:14:23,970
I thought so, too.
206
00:14:24,290 --> 00:14:27,070
But now Emily and Gina are hanging out
all the time.
207
00:14:35,470 --> 00:14:38,470
But when she plays with Gina, it really,
really hurts my feeling.
208
00:14:41,790 --> 00:14:43,630
Terrible. What should I do?
209
00:14:44,610 --> 00:14:46,310
Yeah, Dana, what should she do?
210
00:14:48,410 --> 00:14:50,630
Should she punch stupid Emily in the
nose?
211
00:14:51,910 --> 00:14:55,590
No. Should she break into her house at
night and shave off all her hair?
212
00:14:55,870 --> 00:14:56,870
Jim!
213
00:14:58,990 --> 00:14:59,990
They're ten.
214
00:15:00,290 --> 00:15:03,430
Have you tried being friends with both
of them? That's never gonna work.
215
00:15:03,730 --> 00:15:05,960
Yeah. Dina, come on. You should know
better than that.
216
00:15:06,840 --> 00:15:12,120
All right, well, the other thing you
could do is be really, really nice to
217
00:15:12,340 --> 00:15:14,380
You know, invite her over, have fun with
her.
218
00:15:14,620 --> 00:15:18,000
Have so much fun with her that Emily
will get jealous and she'll want you
219
00:15:18,620 --> 00:15:20,600
I don't know. It seems kind of childish.
220
00:15:21,260 --> 00:15:22,260
Not if it works!
221
00:15:29,980 --> 00:15:30,980
Man,
222
00:15:31,680 --> 00:15:32,800
I forgot how much fun these are.
223
00:15:34,389 --> 00:15:35,410
Yeah, this is fun.
224
00:15:36,650 --> 00:15:38,210
I like having fun, don't you?
225
00:15:39,090 --> 00:15:43,330
Yeah. I mean, fun is just fun.
226
00:15:45,950 --> 00:15:47,050
Hey, you want some chips?
227
00:15:47,830 --> 00:15:49,250
I don't know. Are they fun chips?
228
00:15:51,510 --> 00:15:52,510
That's hysterical.
229
00:15:53,230 --> 00:15:54,970
Hilarious. I'm going to get some.
230
00:15:59,290 --> 00:16:01,410
Okay. Are you ready to call a lady?
231
00:16:02,160 --> 00:16:05,620
Which one are we doing? Bad medical news
or fake radio contest?
232
00:16:06,420 --> 00:16:09,900
I think you should call and tell them
mommy made some macaroons and there's
233
00:16:09,900 --> 00:16:12,500
one left and you're going to eat it. It
should make them come running.
234
00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:17,800
Which of these chips look like fun
chips?
235
00:16:35,980 --> 00:16:36,980
as you can.
236
00:16:37,440 --> 00:16:39,080
You can have some chips, can't you?
237
00:16:40,380 --> 00:16:42,780
You know, any friend of Jim's is a big
of mine.
238
00:16:44,740 --> 00:16:46,320
You're like, what, five beers ahead of
me?
239
00:16:47,100 --> 00:16:48,180
I think so.
240
00:16:49,660 --> 00:16:51,540
Oh, I'm sorry.
241
00:16:52,060 --> 00:16:53,760
Would you like to wear some of my
sweatpants?
242
00:16:57,060 --> 00:16:58,820
What the hell?
243
00:16:59,580 --> 00:17:00,580
Who is it?
244
00:17:02,020 --> 00:17:03,720
It's me. Why is the door locked?
245
00:17:06,860 --> 00:17:08,140
Buddy. Partner of mine.
246
00:17:10,960 --> 00:17:15,280
I know Cheryl baked macaroons, so either
let me in or slide them through the
247
00:17:15,280 --> 00:17:18,040
mail slot. But hurry up. I've got to be
caller 10 if I'm going to win that side
248
00:17:18,040 --> 00:17:19,040
of beef.
249
00:17:21,760 --> 00:17:22,579
What's up, Andy?
250
00:17:22,579 --> 00:17:23,459
Hey, Ryan.
251
00:17:23,460 --> 00:17:24,640
What are you doing here?
252
00:17:25,079 --> 00:17:28,480
I was just hanging out here, like he
always does, because we're totally into
253
00:17:28,480 --> 00:17:29,480
each other.
254
00:17:30,400 --> 00:17:32,460
Wait, wait. I thought we were playing
chess today.
255
00:17:32,960 --> 00:17:35,880
No, Jim said you had to work, so he
invited me over for stock car racing and
256
00:17:35,880 --> 00:17:36,759
talking chips.
257
00:17:36,760 --> 00:17:38,740
You did talking chips with him? What the
hell?
258
00:17:41,140 --> 00:17:42,800
We're just having a little fun.
259
00:17:43,340 --> 00:17:45,320
Nay, a lot of fun.
260
00:17:46,400 --> 00:17:48,200
Am I right, Rhino the Gyno?
261
00:17:50,600 --> 00:17:52,700
Okay, that's the third time, and
hopefully the last.
262
00:17:54,200 --> 00:17:57,240
See, Jim, you're creeping him out. Come
on, Ryan. Let's ditch this loser.
263
00:17:57,540 --> 00:18:00,780
I'm not a loser. You're the loser
because you actually think this guy digs
264
00:18:00,940 --> 00:18:03,960
He digs me a hell of a lot more than
you. Oh, yeah? Well, what's he doing in
265
00:18:03,960 --> 00:18:06,900
house? He's leaving. That's what. No one
steals my new best friend. No, no, no.
266
00:18:06,940 --> 00:18:09,480
He's my best friend. No, he's not. He's
not.
267
00:18:09,860 --> 00:18:12,400
Guys, my arm. I just heard something
pop. Shut up.
268
00:18:12,980 --> 00:18:15,420
Come on. Come on. Let go of him, Jim.
He's mine.
269
00:18:15,860 --> 00:18:19,820
Let go of him. Ow. Let go of him. Let go
of my friend. All right. You want some
270
00:18:19,820 --> 00:18:21,420
of that? Guys, come on. Ow.
271
00:18:22,460 --> 00:18:23,460
Ow. Ow.
272
00:18:23,960 --> 00:18:24,960
Ow!
273
00:18:59,310 --> 00:19:05,950
play chess and i'm gonna keep playing
chess except with my normal friends who
274
00:19:05,950 --> 00:19:11,910
don't act like 10 year old girls oh and
for your information my best friend is
275
00:19:11,910 --> 00:19:12,910
my wife
276
00:19:28,560 --> 00:19:29,560
so gay.
277
00:19:32,560 --> 00:19:35,460
So, there are no macaroons.
278
00:19:38,020 --> 00:19:39,020
No macaroons.
279
00:19:42,380 --> 00:19:43,380
Want to play select cars?
280
00:19:44,820 --> 00:19:46,260
I want the chips to ask me.
281
00:20:06,670 --> 00:20:10,390
If you need me to back off, just ask me.
282
00:20:11,130 --> 00:20:15,310
And if you get jealous of me and Ryan
spending time together, just tell me.
283
00:20:16,330 --> 00:20:18,010
Guys don't get jealous.
284
00:20:19,450 --> 00:20:22,470
Besides, you're not my best friend.
285
00:20:23,090 --> 00:20:24,290
I'm not? No.
286
00:20:24,910 --> 00:20:26,470
My wife's my best friend.
287
00:20:31,370 --> 00:20:32,370
Hey,
288
00:20:32,590 --> 00:20:35,090
after the race, you want to go to the
bar and get a drink? Cool.
289
00:20:50,640 --> 00:20:51,640
know what he just said.
290
00:20:52,880 --> 00:20:54,280
Did you even hear what we said?
21960
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