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00:00:02,700 --> 00:00:03,700
Phone. Crap.
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Right when Judge Judy's about to drop
the hammer.
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Can I get it?
4
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Sure.
5
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What are the rules?
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You're never in the bathroom. You're in
a meeting.
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Very good.
8
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You take a lot of meetings, Daddy.
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Just be polite.
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Hello, who is it, please?
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Very good.
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Uncle Andy, flat tire.
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Blah, blah, blah.
14
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Good girl.
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Oh, baby.
16
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Cheryl?
17
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Cheryl!
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You know where your mother is? She was
supposed to wash these pants.
19
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You're coming along just fine, young
man.
20
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We'll wash them for you, Daddy.
21
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Really? Oh, you guys are sweet. I'll
tell you what, you can keep anything you
22
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find in the pockets.
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sitting on his big butt instead of
remodeling my house when he said he
24
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Dana, I'm not wearing any pants.
25
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Do you want me to go over your house
with no pants on?
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Don't your neighbors already hate you
enough?
27
00:01:55,740 --> 00:02:00,260
Tim, you said you'd install my new tile
this morning. I said I would install the
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tiles when they came in. They haven't
come in yet.
29
00:02:02,460 --> 00:02:03,660
Yeah, you said they'd be in today.
30
00:02:04,060 --> 00:02:06,860
Well, I also said I wouldn't go to the
bathroom when you're upstairs, John. I
31
00:02:06,860 --> 00:02:07,860
guess I was wrong both times.
32
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This job was supposed to take two weeks.
It's already been a month.
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00:02:12,900 --> 00:02:17,200
Dana, you keep changing your mind. You
wanted to turn your spare bedroom into
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office. Then you wanted to turn it into
a guest room. And now you want to turn
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it into a nursery.
36
00:02:20,480 --> 00:02:25,260
So? So, you don't have any kids. You
never have any guests. And you barely
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your office downtown.
38
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So, Jim, lay off me.
39
00:02:29,160 --> 00:02:33,700
Jim, it is a nursery now, okay? Ryan and
I are serious about starting a family.
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00:02:33,840 --> 00:02:35,200
Oh, God. Not more of you.
41
00:02:36,680 --> 00:02:39,880
Didn't you just hatch your pods up? in
the woods like normal aliens?
42
00:02:40,560 --> 00:02:46,300
You're the one that's... I'm doing this
for free. You two are making me crazy.
43
00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:52,260
Now, Jim, would you just finish Dana's
guest room and get on with it? It's not
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guest room anymore, Cheryl. It's a
nursery.
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It is?
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Oh,
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get excited.
48
00:03:00,740 --> 00:03:04,120
Settle down. She's not pregnant yet. In
two minutes, she's going to change that
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00:03:04,120 --> 00:03:05,720
nursery into a crappy yoga studio.
50
00:03:06,020 --> 00:03:07,200
No, I won't.
51
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The yoga studio would be cool.
52
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She's a pediatrician!
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She's a pediatrician! Okay,
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enough! You're family!
55
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Make it work!
56
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Fine. Whatever.
57
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Thank you.
58
00:03:24,680 --> 00:03:28,080
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go
stop your children from putting down $70
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00:03:28,080 --> 00:03:29,480
on a month -to -month lease.
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00:03:30,140 --> 00:03:31,160
$70? Yeah.
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There's a 50 stuck to the 20.
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00:03:41,450 --> 00:03:44,710
Whether I'm right in front of Cheryl,
she wants me to be nice to her, and I
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don't think I can do it.
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00:03:45,950 --> 00:03:48,570
I mean, every time I see her, I just
want to tee off on her.
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00:03:49,870 --> 00:03:51,310
So get it out of your system.
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00:03:51,550 --> 00:03:52,690
Tee off on me instead.
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00:03:54,070 --> 00:03:55,430
I'm not going to do that, Andy.
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00:03:55,890 --> 00:03:58,570
Why? You think you're going to hurt my
feelings or something?
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We're buds.
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00:04:00,610 --> 00:04:03,750
I know you won't mean it. I don't know,
Andy. Come on, get my grill.
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00:04:04,270 --> 00:04:05,270
Bring it, Sally!
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00:04:05,790 --> 00:04:08,850
All right, mama's boy, why don't you go
eat another dozen donuts and go play
73
00:04:08,850 --> 00:04:09,950
with your Star Wars dolls?
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See? Rolls right off the old back.
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Oh.
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00:04:16,910 --> 00:04:20,670
Come on, Andy. I don't want to upset you
in the morning like this. I don't want
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to upset you. Get out the back!
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00:04:21,470 --> 00:04:22,470
Oh, no!
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I'm not afraid of you!
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00:04:28,430 --> 00:04:34,050
Get a big hot shot! All right, all
right! Get a hot shot! All right!
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00:04:37,670 --> 00:04:38,670
Morning, Jim. Morning.
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You're here awfully early. I didn't even
hear you knock.
83
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I'm doing this job for a cost. I don't
need to knock.
84
00:04:45,260 --> 00:04:49,200
Could I pay extra for knocking or for
you not to go through my mail?
85
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Cat fancy?
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Have you read Cat Fancy?
87
00:04:58,920 --> 00:05:01,600
Oh, listen, I got to stick around. I got
to go up to the bedroom because your
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wife wants the same size window that's
in the bedroom in the nursery.
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00:05:05,680 --> 00:05:08,100
All right, well, she's still asleep, so
just keep it down. All right, thanks.
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00:05:09,920 --> 00:05:10,920
Oh, hey, Jim.
91
00:05:11,760 --> 00:05:12,840
Why is Andy out here crying?
92
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That's what he does.
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Come on, take me. Let's go to the
gazebo.
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00:06:30,590 --> 00:06:35,930
Oh, yeah, the gazebo.
95
00:06:37,530 --> 00:06:38,530
Yeah.
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00:06:39,670 --> 00:06:40,990
Come on, take me, Jim.
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00:07:02,190 --> 00:07:03,190
Good morning, Dana.
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00:07:06,090 --> 00:07:07,090
Sleep well?
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00:07:08,470 --> 00:07:09,970
Why aren't you working on the nursery?
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00:07:10,910 --> 00:07:11,910
I'll get to that.
101
00:07:12,930 --> 00:07:17,350
You know what? I was thinking about
something to be perfect for your home. A
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addition. Your grave?
103
00:07:21,610 --> 00:07:23,490
I love the way we banter.
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00:07:24,890 --> 00:07:27,270
No, I was thinking of something a little
more romantic.
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Like a gazebo.
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Gazebo. Come on. Haven't you ever dreamt
of a romantic gazebo?
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Gazebo?
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Dana.
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Why, you look as if you've just seen a
ghost.
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A very sexy ghost.
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I'm fine. Just leave me alone.
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Go saw something.
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I'm sorry.
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Have I been a naughty boy?
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No!
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Know what, Dana?
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Know what?
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That you had a dirty dream?
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What's in it for me?
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Nothing. Oh, okay.
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Citizens! Hey!
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Fine! What do you want? I'll tell you
what I want. I want no more complaining.
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want no more changes.
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Fine, fine, whatever.
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Okay. All right.
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Then your secret remains with me.
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Drop my keys.
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I thought we were going to bed.
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I've lost.
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I know, but I'm just not tired. I don't
know what it is.
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I'm going on a limb here, but you think
maybe it's the coffee.
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Is this coffee?
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Now I'll never get to sleep.
134
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Silly Dana.
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What is going on with you?
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I just don't want to go to sleep.
137
00:10:12,400 --> 00:10:13,460
Scary movie or something?
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00:10:14,180 --> 00:10:15,180
Yes.
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00:10:15,840 --> 00:10:22,720
Yes, it was just like a scary movie.
Like a scary, balding, ham -handed
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Hey, hey, hey, don't worry. Come here.
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00:10:26,700 --> 00:10:27,700
All right?
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00:10:27,800 --> 00:10:30,740
Look, your big man's here, all right?
I'm going to protect you. Oh.
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00:10:31,560 --> 00:10:33,160
In fact, you know what? You go to sleep.
144
00:10:33,380 --> 00:10:35,920
Yeah? And I'm going to stay up and make
sure you're all right.
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That is so sweet.
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That's what this is all about, okay?
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All right.
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00:10:43,160 --> 00:10:44,960
I do feel better. I'm glad.
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Good night. Good night.
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Oh, my goodness.
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00:11:37,900 --> 00:11:40,860
It's all right. You just had a bad
dream. Oh, thanks, genius. Why do you
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I'm screaming?
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00:11:42,740 --> 00:11:46,360
Just calm down, all right? Oh, no, wait.
I'm not falling for that again.
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Don't you tell me to go back to sleep. I
am never going back to sleep ever
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again.
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00:11:55,540 --> 00:11:56,540
Huh.
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00:11:57,220 --> 00:12:02,620
Well, go after her or finally have a
night of no cold feet under my ass.
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00:12:14,670 --> 00:12:16,750
I have to find the credit card that Jim
doesn't know about.
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00:12:18,530 --> 00:12:21,130
I hide it in the DVD of the English
patient.
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00:12:23,390 --> 00:12:26,750
Why can't we make Andy shop for Mom's
stupid birthday present?
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He's the only one who likes her.
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What a mean thing to say.
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Out loud.
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00:12:35,090 --> 00:12:36,550
Besides, I'm making him come with us.
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Oh, I'm just cranky. I haven't been able
to sleep in a few days.
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Really? You're not sleeping?
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00:12:42,290 --> 00:12:43,730
No. You want to borrow the English
patient?
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00:13:17,710 --> 00:13:18,710
Ready to go?
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00:13:19,370 --> 00:13:21,870
Dana's talking in her sleep, but I can't
make out what she's saying.
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00:13:25,210 --> 00:13:26,990
She's having a spec stream. Gross.
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00:13:28,370 --> 00:13:29,810
I should wake her.
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00:13:30,090 --> 00:13:31,310
Hold on. Let's see where this goes.
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00:13:33,270 --> 00:13:34,770
Oh, look at the gazebo.
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Come on, take me.
175
00:13:39,670 --> 00:13:40,670
Take me, Jan.
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00:13:50,090 --> 00:13:52,830
Why does every single woman find that
man so sexy?
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I'm nice.
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I'm thoughtful.
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00:13:55,810 --> 00:13:58,750
I respect women. Why can't the Andy man
get a little tail?
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00:14:00,650 --> 00:14:05,630
I am so sorry, Cheryl. I don't know why
I'm having these dreams about Jim.
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00:14:06,170 --> 00:14:07,290
Do you hate me?
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00:14:07,930 --> 00:14:11,510
It's not a big deal. Everybody has sex
dreams. You know, I had one about Ted
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00:14:11,510 --> 00:14:13,830
Koppel once. He was filthy.
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00:14:15,650 --> 00:14:17,330
Not Ted Koppel, I guess.
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Hey, guys.
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00:14:21,490 --> 00:14:22,490
Hey, Dana.
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00:14:26,150 --> 00:14:27,850
Oops, I dropped my jacket.
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00:14:30,990 --> 00:14:33,630
You see what he's doing? He's ruining my
life.
189
00:14:33,870 --> 00:14:35,070
Oh, you guys know?
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00:14:35,470 --> 00:14:36,610
Yes. Damn.
191
00:14:37,050 --> 00:14:39,530
Tomorrow morning I was going to come to
your house and dress as a pirate.
192
00:14:41,950 --> 00:14:44,990
I haven't been able to sleep in days
because of these stupid dreams.
193
00:14:46,110 --> 00:14:47,110
Dreams?
194
00:14:49,640 --> 00:14:53,840
Well, well, well, it seems like you came
back for a second and said the all -you
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00:14:53,840 --> 00:14:55,040
-can -eat gym buffet.
196
00:14:58,420 --> 00:15:01,200
What is it, the giant head, the thick
neck?
197
00:15:01,480 --> 00:15:03,000
I just don't get it.
198
00:15:04,060 --> 00:15:05,800
Bend over, Jim. Let me have another
look.
199
00:15:09,260 --> 00:15:12,980
Dana, seriously, you've got to let it
go. It's just not a big deal.
200
00:15:13,200 --> 00:15:16,080
No, this is a big deal. This cannot...
201
00:15:17,870 --> 00:15:21,390
to stay between us. Ryan can never find
out that I'm having sex dreams about
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00:15:21,390 --> 00:15:22,390
Jim.
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00:15:26,810 --> 00:15:28,310
Sex dreams about Jim?
204
00:15:29,550 --> 00:15:31,510
Oh, no.
205
00:15:31,910 --> 00:15:32,910
Come on, Doc.
206
00:15:33,490 --> 00:15:35,610
Seriously. Can you blame her?
207
00:15:50,250 --> 00:15:51,250
Are you coming to bed?
208
00:15:52,470 --> 00:15:53,470
I flossed.
209
00:15:54,570 --> 00:15:56,070
You sure it's me you want in there with
you?
210
00:15:56,330 --> 00:15:58,030
I mean, of course I'm sure.
211
00:15:58,310 --> 00:15:59,310
Really?
212
00:15:59,390 --> 00:16:02,990
Look, I'm sorry that I'm not Jim, all
right? But I could act like Jim if I
213
00:16:02,990 --> 00:16:04,370
you on. Is that what you're into, Jim?
214
00:16:05,290 --> 00:16:06,390
Huh? Huh?
215
00:16:06,590 --> 00:16:09,290
Is that what you're into? Oh, yeah, I'm
Jim!
216
00:16:10,330 --> 00:16:12,010
Look at my belly, I'm Jim!
217
00:16:36,620 --> 00:16:39,420
I'm sorry, but this whole thing is just
really freaking me out. It's freaking
218
00:16:39,420 --> 00:16:40,420
you out?
219
00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:43,080
You're not the one Jim's taking in the
gazebo every night.
220
00:16:44,360 --> 00:16:47,220
There's a lot more going on in this
dream than just Jim, you know? Yes,
221
00:16:47,220 --> 00:16:48,220
is. Yeah.
222
00:16:48,340 --> 00:16:50,360
Like, um, well, like the gazebo.
223
00:16:51,240 --> 00:16:52,420
Yes, the gazebo.
224
00:16:53,380 --> 00:16:58,060
Okay, maybe the gazebo is because,
because we watched The Sound of Music
225
00:16:58,060 --> 00:17:00,020
month. Yes, yes, and that's my favorite
movie.
226
00:17:00,800 --> 00:17:03,000
And Jim is a bit of a Nazi.
227
00:17:05,119 --> 00:17:06,119
No.
228
00:17:06,250 --> 00:17:08,849
Spin the wheel, spin the wheel, spin the
wheel. You know what? Maybe it's not
229
00:17:08,849 --> 00:17:09,970
even our gym.
230
00:17:10,170 --> 00:17:12,650
Maybe it's like another gym. Maybe it's
like a gym... Neighbors!
231
00:17:15,390 --> 00:17:16,490
Is that really better?
232
00:17:18,930 --> 00:17:22,030
I'm thinking sort of like, I don't know,
gym... Trust me.
233
00:17:22,230 --> 00:17:23,650
Oh, the head coach at Ohio State.
234
00:17:23,970 --> 00:17:25,310
Oh, babe, I love you so much right now.
235
00:17:26,069 --> 00:17:27,069
Okay.
236
00:17:27,290 --> 00:17:28,290
We're getting there. Okay, look.
237
00:17:29,230 --> 00:17:34,710
Is there any, like, good quality about
gym that would make you want to... Oh,
238
00:17:34,710 --> 00:17:35,710
God.
239
00:17:35,890 --> 00:17:36,890
Connect to him.
240
00:17:37,190 --> 00:17:38,670
Okay, good qualities. Yeah.
241
00:17:39,070 --> 00:17:42,150
Um... He always wears a watch.
242
00:17:42,590 --> 00:17:43,590
There's one. Okay.
243
00:17:43,830 --> 00:17:47,630
And, um, um... Oh, I saw him eat celery
once.
244
00:17:47,870 --> 00:17:51,510
Okay. He's been doing a great job on the
nursery. Gotta give it up. Yes, yes.
245
00:17:51,670 --> 00:17:54,750
He's had some very good ideas. Like he
wanted to put a shelf next to the
246
00:17:54,750 --> 00:17:56,450
changing table for lotion and baby
wipes.
247
00:17:56,690 --> 00:17:59,250
Which is amazing for a man that's never
changed a diaper.
248
00:17:59,950 --> 00:18:03,530
Oh, no, are you kidding? No, he's
changed thousands of them. He just tells
249
00:18:03,530 --> 00:18:04,830
guys that he doesn't do that stuff.
250
00:18:05,280 --> 00:18:08,340
But he's actually really great with the
kids. I mean, he reads to them, he
251
00:18:08,340 --> 00:18:11,380
brushes the girls' hair, he tucks them
in. It's very sweet.
252
00:18:12,920 --> 00:18:13,980
You think Jim's a good dad?
253
00:18:14,660 --> 00:18:15,660
Yeah.
254
00:18:16,180 --> 00:18:17,180
Have you told him?
255
00:18:17,240 --> 00:18:18,840
Oh, God, no. That would make him feel
good.
256
00:18:21,160 --> 00:18:23,320
Dana, that could be what all this is
about.
257
00:18:24,160 --> 00:18:27,000
I mean, come on. You and I have been
talking about getting pregnant, right?
258
00:18:27,880 --> 00:18:30,320
And you think Jim is like a great
father.
259
00:18:31,460 --> 00:18:32,460
I mean, come on.
260
00:18:37,900 --> 00:18:41,060
Another catch deposit in the bank of a
roadhouse.
261
00:18:45,100 --> 00:18:46,680
Hey. Hey.
262
00:18:48,220 --> 00:18:50,720
Cheryl already went to bed.
263
00:18:51,440 --> 00:18:53,600
That's okay. I came to see you.
264
00:18:54,660 --> 00:18:56,000
I thought we should have a talk.
265
00:18:57,520 --> 00:18:58,800
Oh, this can't be good.
266
00:19:02,220 --> 00:19:03,220
All right.
267
00:19:05,360 --> 00:19:07,160
So Ryan has a theory.
268
00:19:07,790 --> 00:19:09,730
On why I'm having these dreams about
you.
269
00:19:10,270 --> 00:19:11,330
I have a theory, too.
270
00:19:14,490 --> 00:19:15,910
You're aching for my bacon.
271
00:19:18,930 --> 00:19:20,730
Will you stop? This is tough.
272
00:19:25,590 --> 00:19:31,390
Ryan thinks it's because, and you're
going to laugh, I think you're a good
273
00:19:31,390 --> 00:19:32,390
father.
274
00:19:32,930 --> 00:19:36,550
Get out of here. No, you know what? And
I think he's right.
275
00:19:37,750 --> 00:19:40,670
When we have kids, I hope Ryan's as good
a dad as you are.
276
00:19:41,970 --> 00:19:42,970
Huh.
277
00:19:44,710 --> 00:19:46,730
You sure you're not thinking about my
Lincoln?
278
00:19:47,070 --> 00:19:48,070
Jim!
279
00:19:48,590 --> 00:19:49,590
Hot for my mouth?
280
00:19:50,790 --> 00:19:51,790
Wait a minute.
281
00:19:52,310 --> 00:19:54,390
Hold on, hold on. Wait a second.
282
00:19:56,570 --> 00:20:00,670
You really... You really think Ryan
should be like me, huh?
283
00:20:01,990 --> 00:20:03,030
Just the good parts.
284
00:20:05,530 --> 00:20:06,810
What, can I let you in on a little
secret?
285
00:20:09,129 --> 00:20:12,730
Being a parent is the toughest thing
I've ever done.
286
00:20:14,510 --> 00:20:15,530
But you find it.
287
00:20:16,970 --> 00:20:17,970
It's in you.
288
00:20:19,010 --> 00:20:23,470
And you know what? When things get
tough, remember, you got Cheryl and me
289
00:20:24,450 --> 00:20:25,450
We can help you.
290
00:20:26,350 --> 00:20:27,350
You're not alone.
291
00:20:29,510 --> 00:20:30,510
Thank you.
292
00:20:34,010 --> 00:20:35,690
Oh, I feel so much better.
293
00:20:44,430 --> 00:20:45,990
All right, I've been nice to you for the
last two minutes.
294
00:20:48,170 --> 00:20:49,170
That's enough.
295
00:20:49,890 --> 00:20:51,870
I've got to balance it out with a couple
of insults here.
296
00:20:54,470 --> 00:20:55,470
You're obnoxious.
297
00:20:56,810 --> 00:20:57,810
You're pushy.
298
00:21:03,430 --> 00:21:04,430
You're a drooler.
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