Original subtitles

Oh, there you are. Jim, she's in here.

Oh, Cheryl.

Thank God.

When I got home from work and you weren't in the kitchen, I just feared

worst. What, that you'd have to make your own dinner?

Yes, and the only thing I could find was a bowl of really bad Alfredo sauce.

Jim, that was paste.

You might want to double up on the bran muffin tomorrow.

Oh, right, right. Spirit week. Spirit week. I'm supposed to take the bear down

to the girls' school on Saturday.

Yes, yes, yes. Got it on my list right here.

Daddy, want to see your cheer?

I'd love to see your cheer.

What do you say to a grizzly and me? Get down on your knees, don't beg on your

feet. Go Grizzlies!

That's really good.

theirs. It's on purpose.

Explain to me what that means.

Okay. Okay. So Jim, on Saturday, you're taking the mascot down to the girl's

school. Is your truck going to be out of the shop? Oh, I don't know. The

mechanic said the part still hasn't come in.

What part?

Child, if I told you the name of it, would you know it?

Jim. What?

This is ridiculous. It's been in there a week. You know, I'm going to call the

guy and tell him we really need it by Friday. No, no, no, no, no, no. You

do that.

That's not your department.

Come on, you take care of the kids, the bills, the house, the social calendar,

and all the yard work.

I'm in charge of the car stuff.

And turning the clocks backward and forward as needed.

You make her do the yard?

We have seven clocks.

Jeez. When do you find time to scratch yourself?

Jason, thank you so much. You guys are so sweet. You are. I really feel like we

should tip you. Oh, no.

No, we couldn't.

Just, uh, keep coming back.

Please.

Thanks, guys.

Isn't it great being pretty? I know.

The only time I have to carry my own groceries is when I'm with Jim.

Hey, minimum wage! Little help here?

Yeah, right.

Good idea.

Save your energy for pop and zits.

Andy, one pimply virgins zip.

Yeah.

Hey, isn't that Jim's truck?

Huh? Yeah.

Uh, no, I don't think so.

Yeah. Jim has that same Sammy Sosa bobblehead.

Well, it's Chicago, Cheryl. Everybody does.

Okay,

how about the license plate frame that says contractors do it with a tool?

It's definitely Jim's truck.

Oh, this truck?

Yeah, yeah, this is Jim's truck.

You know what happened?

What? Well, it's obvious that he picked up the truck, decided to run some

errands so he could make your life easier.

Make Cheryl's life easier, Jim?

Andy? Uh -huh?

What's going on?

Nothing.

Hey, Cheryl, did you watch the news last night? There's a twister coming. No,

there isn't. Oh, yes, there is. No, there isn't. No!

Okay!

Okay!

Last Saturday, Jim and I were at Antler's for Nickel Wing Night.

You know, I love this place.

When you're done with your wings, you can throw your bones on the floor.

You know, only you do that.

Really?

That explains the looks.

Now look at that poor sucker over there.

He's been losing to people all night.

All right, who's next?

Yeah, what's you, pal?

What are you calling a night, okay?

Come on, let's go. You and me, huh?

Hey, everybody.

Fred Flintstone over here is scared to arm wrestle me.

You know what? I'm going to ignore what you just said because you're drunk and

because of my vague resemblance to Fred Flintstone.

I got 20 bucks as I beat you.

It's a bet.

What? What are you doing? What are you talking about? I'm seizing the day.

That's how I live, Jim, by sucking the marrow out of every moment.

Come here, sweetheart.

Oh, Andy, man, do you know how long I've been waiting for you to do that?

Okay, okay, okay. Can you just stick to telling us the parts that actually

happened? Fine.

Come here, sweetheart. Drop dead.

Do it just this once.

Will you drop it? You're on.

All right.

Go.

All right.

Here. Here's your 20 back.

Get a cab. Go home. I don't need a cab. I have a car.

What do you drive, huh? A truck. Oh, a truck.

I tell you what, I want a rematch.

Car against your truck.

All right, buddy, please. Just go home and sober up, all right? Come on, you

little woman.

Little girl.

Come on, Susie.

Oh,

Susie here is going to teach you your manners. Yeah.

Courtesy's contagious, fuckface.

Go.

Hey.

Pleasure doing business with you.

Hey, uh, was that courteous enough?

That guy wasn't drunk.

That guy just hustled me.

Jim, I do not condone this kind of behavior.

Carol is a good woman.

fine wife and a better sister.

You really, you really should have checked with her first because that,

would have been the right thing to do. Okay.

Okay. That didn't happen either, but, but I was thinking it. No, come on.

out your sisters, are you?

Mmm.

Mashed potatoes.

Mmm. And ham.

Ham, ham, H -A -M. Girls, girls, girls, hey, hey.

No, no, no. You already cheered your milk. A little goes a long way.

Mmm. That looks good.

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

For you.

Finish this mind game with your mother.

Cheryl,

I need to tell you something.

But first, what do you know?

I know that you went to a bar and lost the truck in an arm wrestling contest.

Okay, you're up to speed.

What, you just figured I'd never find out?

Well, I was going to tell you that they couldn't fix the truck and I was going

to buy a new one with our vacation money.

I was going to tell you that Hawaii burned down.

Where did you get this?

Your truck.

My truck?

My truck?

Yeah. Well, what's my truck doing here? I got it back.

What? Dana and I went down to Antler's. I can't believe you eat there.

And we talked to that skinny guy who beat you in arm wrestling.

What?

You actually went down there?

Oh, Cheryl, nobody had to. You realize what you just did? You just cut me off

the knees. Oh, come on. No, Cheryl, that's like Mommy going to the

and fighting the bully for me. You can't do that, Cheryl.

I lost a truck. It's my truck. It's my business. No, no, Jim.

It's our business because it's our truck, and you lost it in her stupid bar

Cheryl, the guy called me a woman.

Which obviously you are not. Thank you. Because it took a woman.

Not much left in this world for men.

Except for the Oval Office, the same job for better pay and honor.

Wait, what are you doing?

Cheryl, I'm not keeping this truck. Not the way you got it back.

So you're going to inconvenience your entire family because of your stupid

pride? Cheryl.

It's not pride.

It's honor.

And you would know the difference if you didn't shave your legs.

To where you found it, I'm going to walk home with my head held high and my boys

back in their bunk.

You know

any of those

fairy tales where the good king locks up his daughters in the tower?

Their young, undeveloped brains are totally influenced by the idiot box.

Oh,

Jim? Yeah?

We finished the mascot. You've got to get it down to the school.

Okay, Annie.

Let's put the grizzly bear in the old minivan.

No, honey, we already tried that, but surprisingly, it's too small. I guess

that's why they call it Minnie.

Gosh, if only you had some kind of vehicle.

That was like a car, but with a big open storage area in the back.

Okay, I know you guys are talking about my truck.

Truck? That's brilliant!

Yeah. Only we knew someone who had a truck.

I know! The arm -wrestling con man.

Yeah!

Absolutely not. I am not going back there to beg for the truck. A bet is a

and I have my honor.

All right, all right. How about this?

How about you take the mascot...

shove it in your honor, and haul it down there.

Cheryl, I'm going to get that grizzly bear to that school because I'm a man,

that's what men do. They get things done. Right, Andy?

Go men!

And shake it, and shake it, and shake it, shake it, shake it.

Hey, unless I'm scoring a touchdown, hitting a home run, Or I ask you to.

That is not okay.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, come on. We got three miles to go. Shake a leg here.

Why am I the one doing all the work?

Because you're the one that ratted me out to your sisters.

Oh, yeah, I know all about it.

Yeah, you had a chance to come clean and you didn't. You know what that makes

you? A coward. Oh, a coward.

I'm still driving my own car, not some stupid scooter.

Stupid, stupid.

You're stupid.

I don't even know why I hang out with you. Been asking myself the same

all day. Know what I came up with? What?

We're all we got.

You're right, Andy.

Hey, let's not fight anymore. I love you. Thank you.

to stay up all night.

Cheryl, put a pot of coffee on for me.

Jim, I don't think you're looking at the big picture. Yeah, you're right.

Pot of coffee and a cake.

Jim, you can build a hundred bears. You still have no way to get them to the

school. I'll rent a truck.

Okay, that's fine for today.

What about when I have to pick up Ruby Ballet and you have to get Gracie at

soccer? Cheryl, under no circumstances whatsoever.

Am I going to go down there and beg for that truck back? I know. I know. Your

honor. Yes, honor.

Honor. Honey, look, do you think I like the way the girls just looked at me?

No.

No, I don't.

But without honor, I'm not going to be the man that I want my daughters to see.

And I'm definitely not going to be the man you married.

And, baby, I am a man.

I don't get it, but I've been married to you long enough to know you're not

going to change, so you have my full support.

Thank you.

But when I come home from a high -stakes bake -off and I've lost the kitchen,

not a word.

Okay, honey, well, you got your honor. You got my support.

We got no truck.

What are you going to do?

I don't know. I'll think of something.

Do it while you're watching.

Well, yabba -dabba -doo, look who's here.

Hey, did you take a cab? No, he took his wife's minivan.

Did he?

Look, I want my truck back fair and square, so my friend and I here want to

challenge you to a game of pool.

And if we win?

You get my minivan.

Okay, okay, see, I know that, uh... Susie here is not much of a shark, but

guy.

Sure, you dress him up dorky, but he could be a ringer.

Well, I played at Camp Ohonomaka, but we didn't play for cars, we played for

s'mores.

Well, I'm guessing you're pretty good then.

No, no deal. What?

What are you doing here? How did you even know we were here?

We just followed the scent of failure.

Uh -oh.

What are you doing? Cheryl, I am trying to win the truck back. I just challenged

him to a game of pool, but he's too much of a woman.

See, I wouldn't be much of a con man if I fell for that.

Oh.

This is your big plan?

Cheryl, this is my plan. This is men's business. Just stay out of it. Yeah.

When you can write your name in the snow, then you can pop off about

you want.

You give me a chance to win this truck back or not. Okay, okay, but I get to

pick your partner.

No, no, no. I'm not going to fall for that. You'll just pick one of your

buddies. Okay, fine.

You know, Wilma and Betty over there, either one of them will do. No, no, no,

no, no. That's a bad idea. Take it or leave it.

Dana, you don't want to play pool?

Well, no, but I could probably pick it up pretty good.

I'll take Wilma. I mean, Cheryl.

My truck against your minivan, right? Deal. You bet the minivan.

Cheryl, Cheryl, Cheryl. No, that's off. Cheryl, no. Cheryl, I just shook on it,

okay?

It's your break, Wilma.

Come on, baby, you can...

Don't call me Wilma.

You hustled him?

No, uh, my wife, the woman, hustled you.

Told you it was a bad idea.

their 14th birthdays, Daddy got us a pool table.

I never had to buy my own drinks in college.

Neither did I, and I suck at pool.

Um, honey, where do you want the eight ball?

Surprise me.

Okay.

Side pocket, clean bank, going downtown.

Them as Fred and Cheryl's Wilma, does that make us Betty and Barney?

I always thought I was Nancy Drew and you were both of the Hardy Boys.

What do you say we play one more game?

Okay. And if you win, you get to have sex with me.

Wow. What if you win?

Be honest, honey, I'm going to throw this game.