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1
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Hey. Hey.
2
00:00:05,770 --> 00:00:06,649
What are you doing?
3
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I came to see Cheryl.
4
00:00:08,029 --> 00:00:09,030
Well, are you going to come in?
5
00:00:09,590 --> 00:00:11,530
Nah, I'm just not in the mood for you
this morning.
6
00:00:13,870 --> 00:00:14,990
I'd rather wait till you're gone.
7
00:00:15,930 --> 00:00:16,930
Oh.
8
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Okay.
9
00:00:21,010 --> 00:00:22,930
Run a little late. It's going to be like
an hour or something.
10
00:00:23,270 --> 00:00:23,869
I'm cool.
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Okay.
12
00:00:26,070 --> 00:00:27,170
Have a good one. You too.
13
00:00:40,419 --> 00:00:45,760
I am just exhausted. My stupid
neighbor's dog started barking at 7 .30
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00:00:45,760 --> 00:00:46,760
morning. Can you imagine?
15
00:00:47,040 --> 00:00:48,040
7 .30.
16
00:00:49,340 --> 00:00:53,800
Yeah, let's see. By 7 .30, I have
everybody up and dressed. I've made
17
00:00:53,800 --> 00:00:56,500
lunches and cleaned somebody's vomit off
of something.
18
00:00:58,700 --> 00:01:02,220
And I had to lie there for a whole hour
before I could go back to sleep.
19
00:01:03,380 --> 00:01:06,740
And that's how a male seahorse
fertilizes its eggs.
20
00:01:12,590 --> 00:01:15,330
Did you see that the Millers across the
street are selling their house?
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What? The Millers? Wait, refresh my
memory. Did they hate you?
22
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No, but to be fair, they never really
knew me.
23
00:01:22,430 --> 00:01:24,750
Oh, I love that house.
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I would kill to have that kitchen. Can
you imagine having granite countertops
25
00:01:28,850 --> 00:01:32,810
and vaulted ceilings with skylight? Oh,
come on. That house isn't that great.
26
00:01:33,030 --> 00:01:35,850
I mean, probably no one ever uses that
screening room they have.
27
00:01:37,210 --> 00:01:38,930
I'd never leave the house if I had that.
28
00:01:40,530 --> 00:01:41,530
Or a woman.
29
00:01:43,420 --> 00:01:47,480
Do you know their master bedroom has a
fireplace and their bathtub is a spa?
30
00:01:47,820 --> 00:01:49,220
Oh, it is perfect.
31
00:01:49,480 --> 00:01:52,520
Oh, come on, perfect. Do they have a
wine cellar like we do?
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A case of beer under a ping pong table
is not a wine cellar. We're talking
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the cool room in the corner of the
basement.
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Yoo -hoo -hoo!
35
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Anybody to home?
36
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Is that...
37
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Wait for me. Save yourself.
38
00:02:22,480 --> 00:02:25,660
What are they doing here? I thought we
got rid of them. We're good.
39
00:02:25,980 --> 00:02:29,260
I know it. Then I ran into Cindy at the
market this morning, and she kind of
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00:02:29,260 --> 00:02:30,380
said it'd be great to get together.
41
00:02:30,600 --> 00:02:31,418
And you said?
42
00:02:31,420 --> 00:02:32,420
I said no.
43
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And in my head.
44
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Although out loud, I may have said
that'd be great. You were nice to her?
45
00:02:41,920 --> 00:02:45,360
Well, excuse me for being polite. That's
how I was brought up. Give me a break.
46
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We had the same parents, and I...
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00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:54,980
save yourself, there's usually a little
back and forth.
48
00:03:26,990 --> 00:03:30,390
Contact lens. Thank you, everyone, for
helping me. Oh, great.
49
00:03:30,610 --> 00:03:34,690
They're so expensive, you know. So, Tim,
Cindy, everything.
50
00:03:35,870 --> 00:03:38,330
Well, Tim, tell them how the hot tub
business is doing.
51
00:03:38,770 --> 00:03:39,930
It's bubbling over.
52
00:03:42,430 --> 00:03:44,550
Oh, boy. I think I just peed a little.
53
00:03:46,730 --> 00:03:50,510
So, Jim, how's the construction
business? Oh.
54
00:04:08,560 --> 00:04:10,620
A high crew cut off his own arm in order
to escape.
55
00:04:10,840 --> 00:04:11,840
I get it now.
56
00:04:13,620 --> 00:04:16,320
Okay, enough witty banter. Let's get
down to beeswax.
57
00:04:16,560 --> 00:04:18,880
We have some big, important news.
58
00:04:19,140 --> 00:04:21,060
Okay, honey, let me tell them. No, I
want to tell them. No, me.
59
00:04:21,420 --> 00:04:22,420
No, me.
60
00:04:22,580 --> 00:04:26,120
Why don't you two just tell each other
in the car on the way home?
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00:04:28,020 --> 00:04:30,420
Pass the sunscreen, honey. We're getting
burned.
62
00:04:32,820 --> 00:04:37,520
Okay, all right. On our way over here to
see our best friend, we...
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00:04:48,560 --> 00:04:52,260
read to chat or watch our stories,
borrow a cup of sugar?
64
00:04:52,520 --> 00:04:53,499
Uh -oh.
65
00:04:53,500 --> 00:04:58,000
Did I just hear someone say they needed
some sugar? Oh, yes, sir. Yes, sir.
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00:04:58,020 --> 00:04:59,020
Three bags full.
67
00:05:02,260 --> 00:05:03,260
Wow.
68
00:05:03,920 --> 00:05:06,540
And all because Cheryl ran into them at
the market.
69
00:05:08,240 --> 00:05:11,780
Isn't life funny? I think I just peed a
little.
70
00:05:20,360 --> 00:05:23,680
In 90 seconds exactly, we're going to
begin Operation Scare the Hell Out of
71
00:05:23,680 --> 00:05:25,180
Devlin so they don't live across the
street.
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00:05:25,900 --> 00:05:27,360
Everyone, circumcise your watches.
73
00:05:31,260 --> 00:05:34,300
Synchronize. Will you please not get in
the way of my technical planning?
74
00:05:35,620 --> 00:05:38,800
Andy, you got a brick to throw through
the window? I couldn't find a brick, but
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00:05:38,800 --> 00:05:40,460
I got something even better. Good.
76
00:05:40,960 --> 00:05:43,580
Oh, for the record, I still think my
plan was bad.
77
00:05:43,840 --> 00:05:46,240
I am not getting up at 3 in the morning
to make crop circle.
78
00:05:46,560 --> 00:05:47,560
All right, let's go.
79
00:05:48,280 --> 00:05:49,820
And take it up a little higher?
80
00:05:59,920 --> 00:06:01,560
Would the brakes be working in that car?
81
00:06:03,400 --> 00:06:04,520
Hey, we're back.
82
00:06:05,200 --> 00:06:06,800
Oh, hey, Cheryl.
83
00:06:07,100 --> 00:06:11,380
I've been studying feng shui, and you
and Jim wouldn't fight as much if you
84
00:06:11,380 --> 00:06:12,420
rid of that big, awful TV.
85
00:06:12,960 --> 00:06:13,960
You want to bet?
86
00:06:15,360 --> 00:06:17,480
Yeah, you know what? We're not really
feng shui people.
87
00:06:17,860 --> 00:06:22,200
Oh, I'm a narrow -minded westerner. I
don't believe in something that's been
88
00:06:22,200 --> 00:06:25,840
around for thousands of years. Yeah,
whoops, my mind was open a crack. Better
89
00:06:25,840 --> 00:06:26,840
shut it.
90
00:06:28,700 --> 00:06:34,800
Speaking of crack, um... You know, this
neighborhood's got a little bit of a
91
00:06:34,800 --> 00:06:35,800
crime problem.
92
00:06:35,820 --> 00:06:36,820
What?
93
00:06:37,580 --> 00:06:40,220
Oh, my God! It's gang activity!
94
00:06:40,620 --> 00:06:41,620
Gang?
95
00:06:42,440 --> 00:06:44,620
Look! An omelet pan!
96
00:06:45,780 --> 00:06:50,160
Well, that's not just any omelet pan.
This is the calling card for the Maple
97
00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:51,059
Street Gang.
98
00:06:51,060 --> 00:06:54,160
That is so scary.
99
00:06:55,340 --> 00:06:57,820
And it might be someone's wedding
present.
100
00:06:59,580 --> 00:07:04,480
Well, I guess it's better that you know
about this neighborhood's ugly secret
101
00:07:04,480 --> 00:07:08,400
before you put an offer on that house
across the street. Oh, those ruffians
102
00:07:08,400 --> 00:07:13,040
don't scare us. No, the Timinator
understands the gang mentality.
103
00:07:13,580 --> 00:07:16,000
He played Riff in West Side Story.
104
00:07:24,780 --> 00:07:26,960
So you still want to put an offer in on
that house?
105
00:07:27,160 --> 00:07:28,160
Oh, absolutely.
106
00:07:28,480 --> 00:07:31,020
As long as you two are here, it's still
a desirable neighborhood.
107
00:07:32,220 --> 00:07:33,840
What do you think of crop circles?
108
00:07:34,720 --> 00:07:37,060
They scare you out of it. Look what they
did to me.
109
00:07:39,340 --> 00:07:41,340
This is the work of the Maple Street
Gang.
110
00:07:42,180 --> 00:07:45,100
And they spray painted their name on the
Devlin's van.
111
00:07:45,840 --> 00:07:47,120
We don't have a van.
112
00:07:49,800 --> 00:07:50,800
We do.
113
00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:56,120
And I'm sure they're very sorry about
it.
114
00:08:15,960 --> 00:08:19,740
Feel free to look around, but just know
that I counted every beer in that
115
00:08:19,740 --> 00:08:20,740
refrigerator.
116
00:08:23,460 --> 00:08:26,200
Well, my dear, we're having an open
house. That's what you do when you put
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00:08:26,200 --> 00:08:27,200
house on the market.
118
00:08:28,060 --> 00:08:29,240
What? Just relax.
119
00:08:30,060 --> 00:08:33,200
We're not really selling the house. But
if we get the devils to think that we're
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00:08:33,200 --> 00:08:35,600
moving, then maybe they won't buy the
house across the street.
121
00:08:37,080 --> 00:08:38,740
What if somebody makes an offer?
122
00:08:39,020 --> 00:08:40,919
It is so overpriced. Who's going to pay
that?
123
00:08:41,539 --> 00:08:42,539
Whoa. Yeah.
124
00:08:42,740 --> 00:08:43,860
Who's the sexy genius?
125
00:08:45,800 --> 00:08:48,100
Russell Crowe, but that is a good plan.
It is, isn't it?
126
00:08:49,240 --> 00:08:50,560
Say it ain't so, Jim.
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00:08:50,900 --> 00:08:51,900
You're moving?
128
00:08:51,960 --> 00:08:56,790
Aw. I'm afraid so. You know, I got a
sudden job opportunity that I just
129
00:08:56,790 --> 00:08:57,810
pass on. Where?
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00:08:58,530 --> 00:08:59,530
Alaska.
131
00:09:00,610 --> 00:09:01,610
Right, Cheryl?
132
00:09:02,850 --> 00:09:09,510
Right, yes, yes. We bought a cannery and
we're turning it into a B &B.
133
00:09:10,450 --> 00:09:15,130
Without you, this neighborhood's just a
gang -infested hellhole.
134
00:09:16,350 --> 00:09:17,350
I know.
135
00:09:17,450 --> 00:09:20,730
Well, you know what? We'll be sure to
send you a postcard from...
136
00:09:21,070 --> 00:09:22,070
A town in Alaska.
137
00:09:22,370 --> 00:09:26,850
Yeah. We better go withdraw our offer
before it's too late. I need my man
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00:09:26,850 --> 00:09:28,730
sweater first. Hope it still fits.
139
00:09:29,350 --> 00:09:32,050
It always fits. One size fits Cindy.
140
00:09:33,690 --> 00:09:35,870
Are we willing to carry back a second
mortgage?
141
00:09:37,670 --> 00:09:40,510
Yeah, you know, I gotta go. She has a
little bit of trouble with compound
142
00:09:40,510 --> 00:09:41,930
interest. Excuse me.
143
00:09:45,740 --> 00:09:48,640
Look, I'm sorry about this, but, you
know, if you're ever up in Alaskan
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00:09:48,640 --> 00:09:52,560
territory passing through, be sure to
give us a jingle, all right? I can't
145
00:09:52,560 --> 00:09:54,240
believe we're not going to have you in
our lives.
146
00:09:54,520 --> 00:09:57,320
I know. But we can have a part of them.
147
00:09:58,080 --> 00:09:59,080
Oh, my God.
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00:09:59,300 --> 00:10:00,500
I know what you're thinking.
149
00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:02,320
We should buy this place!
150
00:10:02,940 --> 00:10:03,940
Yes!
151
00:10:04,840 --> 00:10:08,300
Yes! Every inch of this house will
remind us of you.
152
00:10:10,960 --> 00:10:14,880
No, no, no, no, no, no. You can't do
that. Why not? It's for sale.
153
00:10:15,120 --> 00:10:20,680
I know, but nobody in their right mind
would pay this price.
154
00:10:21,540 --> 00:10:22,540
We would.
155
00:10:23,440 --> 00:10:27,800
Well, then certainly no one in their
right mind would pay $10 ,000 more than
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00:10:27,800 --> 00:10:28,800
that.
157
00:10:29,820 --> 00:10:32,040
Or $20 ,000.
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00:10:34,020 --> 00:10:35,020
$25 ,000.
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00:10:35,740 --> 00:10:37,620
Then lock us up because we're nuts.
160
00:11:13,390 --> 00:11:14,390
waxing lady.
161
00:11:18,570 --> 00:11:24,270
Cindy, I didn't expect to see you here
on a ladder outside my bedroom.
162
00:11:25,090 --> 00:11:26,250
Your bedroom?
163
00:11:26,550 --> 00:11:29,430
Well, I guess it is for a few more days.
164
00:11:30,170 --> 00:11:31,690
What are you talking about?
165
00:11:32,550 --> 00:11:35,510
Didn't Jim tell you? He sold us your
house.
166
00:11:38,110 --> 00:11:41,590
What? Oh, I ruined the surprise, didn't
I?
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00:12:20,270 --> 00:12:21,270
to surprise you.
168
00:12:21,730 --> 00:12:23,230
Surprise me with jewelry?
169
00:12:23,490 --> 00:12:25,250
Not by selling my house?
170
00:12:25,450 --> 00:12:29,410
Oh, but Sarah, you know how much money
we made. I really soaked them. Now we
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00:12:29,410 --> 00:12:31,870
buy any house we want. You want another
house?
172
00:12:32,450 --> 00:12:33,710
Well, yes, you do.
173
00:12:34,330 --> 00:12:38,590
I heard you. No, you said so. You want
another house.
174
00:12:38,830 --> 00:12:42,470
When? Well, you're always going to open
houses and talking about the big new
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00:12:42,470 --> 00:12:46,410
kitchens and the walk -in closets and
the skylights. You even wanted to move
176
00:12:46,410 --> 00:12:47,810
into the millers across the street.
177
00:12:57,480 --> 00:13:01,220
I don't want another house. I want this
house, my house. And I want a husband
178
00:13:01,220 --> 00:13:03,840
who asks me before he sells my house.
179
00:13:04,860 --> 00:13:07,060
Hey, you get me my house back.
180
00:13:09,160 --> 00:13:11,000
My house, my house, sure.
181
00:13:11,580 --> 00:13:15,520
Let's see you pay the mortgage with the
tips the kids give you for making that
182
00:13:15,520 --> 00:13:16,520
lot.
183
00:13:33,410 --> 00:13:36,510
Excessive moisture penetration so we
don't pass the inspection.
184
00:13:36,770 --> 00:13:40,170
Jim, why don't you tell the Devlins you
don't want to sell the house? The deal's
185
00:13:40,170 --> 00:13:43,570
already closed, and by state law, the
only way out of this thing is by doing
186
00:13:43,570 --> 00:13:45,750
something sneaky and underhanded. Come
on, more, more.
187
00:13:45,970 --> 00:13:49,250
I don't know, Jim. I'd like to try on
the truce sometime, see how it fits.
188
00:13:50,110 --> 00:13:53,570
Yeah? Well, if it's anything like those
pants do, it's going to be tight in the
189
00:13:53,570 --> 00:13:54,570
seat.
190
00:13:54,870 --> 00:13:56,990
All right, because you're Audrey
Hepburn.
191
00:13:58,850 --> 00:14:01,230
Excuse me, can I see that for a second?
Just for a second.
192
00:14:01,470 --> 00:14:02,560
Audrey Hepburn! We'll be right back.
193
00:14:49,450 --> 00:14:52,130
Someone needs to be cited for a smile
that collapsed.
194
00:14:52,870 --> 00:14:54,530
Can you just wrap this up? Yeah, thanks.
195
00:14:54,750 --> 00:14:55,349
Come on, Cheryl.
196
00:14:55,350 --> 00:14:58,370
Let's take a last look at all the
memories you're leaving behind.
197
00:14:59,190 --> 00:15:01,090
Yeah, can we not hold hands all the
time?
198
00:16:14,860 --> 00:16:15,860
load this money pit.
199
00:16:16,500 --> 00:16:21,220
But you know what? It wouldn't feel
right to sell this place to a friend.
200
00:16:21,760 --> 00:16:24,720
Yeah. I just hope there's no hard
feelings.
201
00:16:25,160 --> 00:16:26,780
Oh, come on, guys.
202
00:16:27,160 --> 00:16:30,240
This is just a setback. It's not a deal
breaker.
203
00:16:30,720 --> 00:16:31,720
Look at this place.
204
00:16:31,840 --> 00:16:32,940
Spiffy and a jiffy.
205
00:16:33,440 --> 00:16:37,100
I kind of like having a project I can
tackle with my pants off.
206
00:16:48,300 --> 00:16:49,259
Sell our home.
207
00:16:49,260 --> 00:16:51,840
We love our home. We never wanted to
sell it.
208
00:16:52,200 --> 00:16:56,300
The only reason we were doing this was
because we didn't want you anywhere near
209
00:16:56,300 --> 00:16:57,300
us.
210
00:17:20,010 --> 00:17:22,089
I'm just glad we're not losing you to
Alaska.
211
00:17:22,349 --> 00:17:23,349
Come on, hugs?
212
00:17:24,130 --> 00:17:26,310
Not until you put your pants back on.
213
00:17:27,210 --> 00:17:28,210
And then no.
214
00:17:29,810 --> 00:17:33,490
Come on, Timberwolf. We have a house to
buy across the street.
215
00:17:33,710 --> 00:17:34,710
Yeah!
216
00:17:34,750 --> 00:17:35,750
Well,
217
00:17:36,230 --> 00:17:39,610
I better go get some paper towels.
218
00:17:54,060 --> 00:17:55,400
I'm guessing this wasn't the original
plan.
219
00:17:55,780 --> 00:17:57,920
Yeah, it was, except for the water.
220
00:17:59,400 --> 00:18:01,120
Come on, come sit with me on my dock.
221
00:18:04,860 --> 00:18:05,940
Oh, my God.
222
00:18:11,420 --> 00:18:12,420
Well,
223
00:18:13,240 --> 00:18:17,200
look, it's not your dream house, but at
least you got a couple thousand dollars
224
00:18:17,200 --> 00:18:18,200
worth of water damage.
225
00:18:20,500 --> 00:18:24,100
You know, Cheryl, I just wanted to do
the right thing by you. That's all.
226
00:18:24,440 --> 00:18:27,580
Honey, when have you not done the right
thing by me?
227
00:18:28,200 --> 00:18:29,680
You know, eventually.
228
00:18:31,740 --> 00:18:33,220
I just think you deserve better.
229
00:18:34,260 --> 00:18:35,260
You do.
230
00:18:35,480 --> 00:18:38,960
And, you know, I'd get you a castle if I
could. You know that. Hey, this is my
231
00:18:38,960 --> 00:18:39,960
castle.
232
00:18:40,420 --> 00:18:41,500
Now I even have a moat.
233
00:18:42,820 --> 00:18:46,940
Yeah, but you don't have a walk -in
closet or a bigger kitchen or skylights.
234
00:18:47,860 --> 00:18:48,860
And the kids?
235
00:18:49,180 --> 00:18:50,180
And no backyard.
236
00:18:50,990 --> 00:18:51,990
Freaky floorboards.
237
00:18:53,010 --> 00:18:54,970
Lots of great memories.
238
00:18:56,950 --> 00:19:01,790
Jim, I walk to this house and I feel our
family and our life.
239
00:19:02,470 --> 00:19:03,590
I love that.
240
00:19:04,410 --> 00:19:06,170
That's what makes this a home to me.
241
00:19:08,290 --> 00:19:09,290
Yeah.
242
00:19:10,150 --> 00:19:11,150
Me too.
243
00:19:21,640 --> 00:19:28,180
perfect time to play swamp thing come on
you be heather locklear i'll be swamp
244
00:19:28,180 --> 00:19:29,420
thing i'm heather locklear
245
00:19:52,880 --> 00:19:54,720
Some of the kids' toys and Jim's tools.
246
00:19:55,060 --> 00:20:01,060
Right here on the insurance farm, I got
one rare stamp collection, one Picasso,
247
00:20:01,840 --> 00:20:04,680
two Rolls Royces.
248
00:20:05,800 --> 00:20:06,800
Greetings, all.
249
00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:10,480
Got some house party invites for across
the street.
250
00:20:10,740 --> 00:20:11,740
Oh, great.
251
00:20:11,940 --> 00:20:13,640
Now I have to buy these psychos a
present.
252
00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:18,240
The Devlins didn't buy the house.
253
00:20:18,480 --> 00:20:20,260
What? Some eligible bachelor did.
254
00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:22,380
Yeah, has family in the neighborhood.
255
00:20:22,620 --> 00:20:23,660
Oh, my God. Is he cute?
256
00:20:24,220 --> 00:20:25,220
Gorgeous.
257
00:20:26,080 --> 00:20:27,440
But he's out of your league.
258
00:20:27,940 --> 00:20:29,400
Oh, and he's your brother.
259
00:20:29,660 --> 00:20:30,660
What?
260
00:20:30,820 --> 00:20:31,679
It's me.
261
00:20:31,680 --> 00:20:33,920
What? You brought the house across the
street?
262
00:20:34,220 --> 00:20:36,900
I outbid the Devlins. Hello, neighbor.
263
00:20:38,220 --> 00:20:45,040
The best news, man. I cannot believe you
people.
264
00:20:45,360 --> 00:20:46,360
You knew?
265
00:20:50,220 --> 00:20:53,420
If I was anything less than a gentleman,
I'd whip you within an inch of your
266
00:20:53,420 --> 00:20:54,420
life.
267
00:20:55,380 --> 00:20:57,980
Come on, cat on a hot tin roof. Let's
go.
268
00:20:58,220 --> 00:20:59,220
With pleasure.
269
00:20:59,400 --> 00:21:02,120
We never want to see any of you again.
Ever!
21259
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