Original subtitles

Hey, what are you doing?

Oh, I'm looking through the entertainment section to see all the

be doing this weekend because we have to stay at home with the kids.

But, then again, we do also have three very sweet, beautiful children who love

us.

Oh, man, we're missing Aerosmith!

Did you hear that? You little monsters are stealing our lives.

Well, maybe we can go out next weekend if Margaret's available to babysit.

never available.

I don't see why you just don't use the babysitting service at the mall.

Having your kids tell the security guards they're lost is not a babysitting

service.

I spend a lot of money at that mall. The least they can do is watch my kids.

I know she's impossible to get, but I just don't feel comfortable with anyone

but Margaret. She's so great.

She's a little too great.

I mean, the day after she comes, all I hear is, Mommy, Margaret made us

Mommy, Margaret put on a puppet show. Mommy, Margaret told us you were lying

when you said that if we threw our food, our hands would blow up.

Hey, can I get some wet paper towels? There's ketchup and french fries all

the car.

Why would you let Dominic eat in the car?

It wasn't me.

Hey, what did I tell you would happen if you squeal too many times? Your tongue

is going to blow up.

Here, is it really bad? Oh, you should see it. He's chomping. There's ketchup

flying everywhere. It's like a scene from Jaws.

I stopped by the video store and picked up some movies for us, and then I picked

up one for me and Christine once everyone else goes to sleep.

We know how uncomfortable you guys get when we watch these kind of movies.

What'd you get?

Ernest Goes to Camp. Nice.

Do we have to watch movies on the couch all night long? As long as we're stuck

here, can't we do something that exercises our brains a little instead of

sitting in front of TV?

Please, if I wanted to exercise my mind, I'd...

No, no, I'd do something.

Hello?

Oh, my God, Margaret, we were just talking about you.

You're kidding.

No, no, of course, of course.

Okay, thank you for calling.

Bye.

The boy that Margaret was supposed to babysit for tonight broke his leg.

Oh, my God. I know.

I don't know who invented those little scooters, but God bless them, we're

out.

This place smells like someone threw up on a dead monkey.

Look at this place. It looks like one of those disgusting bars by the train

station where we grew up.

Christine, we're home. Oh, come on, you guys. I know we said we'd go for a drink

after the movie, but it's getting kind of late.

Katie, we've been looking for a place like this ever since we moved out here.

Yeah, this is just like the bar we used to hang out every weekend before we had

Dominic. Remember that night you got so drunk you had to give the bartender your

car keys? Yeah.

You know you're drinking too much when you've got to pay your bar tab with your

vet.

You had a Corvette?

Chevette.

Guys, seriously.

Can we go? This place is a little rough.

Kim, we paid for a sitter. We're out of the house. I don't care if Patrick

Swayze comes in here and starts kicking back at people with pool cues. I'm

having a drink.

Come on, it'll be fun.

Okay, fine, one drink, but then let's get out of here before they throw Jodie

Foster on the pinball machine.

Who wants to play pool?

Oh, there are people playing.

And look, they're smoking.

Don't they know there's a law?

Oh, Kim, come.

Come on, let's put our names on the wards for the winners. You guys go

We're fine.

You sure? Oh, we'll have fun right here.

Oh, look, there's even a little buffet.

Uh, are those wings?

No.

I think that's a whole fly.

Hey, Paul, corner pocket.

You'll never make that.

Everybody gets lucky once in a while.

It's true. Just ask the guy that left with your date.

Don't sweat it, pal. She's been kicking my butt for years.

Yeah, that's why it's so swollen.

Who?

All right, who's next? I am, but let's make it a little interesting, all right?

So if I win, you let me sleep in tomorrow morning, and if you win

you're going to have the best sex of your life.

Oh, honey, I'd have to sleep, but I could never cheat on you.

So, what do you want to do now?

Well, maybe they're ready to leave. Oh, I hope so, because I have to use the

ladies' room, and I'll make a diaper out of these cocktail napkins before I go

in there.

Hey, are you guys ready?

Yeah, I can use another one. Christine, you want another beer? No, no, no. I

mean, are you ready to leave?

Come on, hang out with us. Yeah, the band's about to start, and they're going

have karaoke later. Well, guys, you know I would love to. It's just that... Uh

-oh. They're playing that funky music.

I'll wait for it to be put.

Actually, guys, don't you think we should be leaving? Come on, you love to

dance. Yeah, but it's just Kim's ready to go home. Oh, please, the only time

Kim's not ready to go home is when Kim's at home.

Come on, come dance with us.

No, I was a boogie singer.

What the hell?

How are those?

Not bad. Why?

I just never saw anybody eat one before.

is just like a sport. Anything fly, it's all good.

Let me jump in and send in the trumpets. A little bit of Monica in my life.

A little bit of Erica by my side.

A little bit of Rita's what I mean.

A little bit of Tina's what I mean. A little bit of Sandra in the sun.

A little bit of Mary all night long.

A little bit of Jessica here I am. A little bit of you make me your friend.

So did you have an okay time tonight?

Well, the movie was pretty good. But next time, you can sit next to Jimmy.

way he can poke you every five minutes going, what did he say?

Who's that guy?

Look, I turned my red vine into a straw.

What about at the bar?

Oh, yeah, well, I guess it's good to go to a place like that every once in a

while. Makes you appreciate the things you have in life.

Like teeth.

Well, I gotta tell you, I really had a good time.

Oh, I'm glad.

on watching you guys. So would you ever go back again?

Oh, I don't think so. But you can go with Christine and Jimmy.

I'm not going to be the third wheel. That's what I was in high school.

That's why I married you. You're my other wheel.

Look, I'm sorry. It's just not my thing.

Well, I just wish you would keep an open mind.

You know, if you try a little, it might be a little more fun.

Oh,

so now I'm not fun?

Is that what you're saying, Greg?

I'm not fun?

I didn't say that.

Yes, you did. You just said I wasn't fun. Kim, I... I didn't say that you

weren't fun.

I can't believe you think I'm not fun.

Look, you're fun. You're fun.

Whee!

You know, I'm sorry I'm not the fun wife you wanted.

Tomorrow, after I feed our child and do the laundry, I'll go to the doctor and

get a prescription for a big bag of happy pills. Are you serious? Because my

health insurance has a mental... No, I...

Sometimes you are so... Good night.

Kim, I can't believe you're getting so mad. All I'm trying to say is that

sometimes I just wish you were a little... more... Never

mind.

What?

I don't know. I just wish you were a little more like Christine. I mean, she

just jumps right in and starts having fun.

Oh.

I see.

I should be more like Christine.

Well, no, honey, not in every way. I mean, I do appreciate that you wear a

to the mall.

You know what? Fine, Greg. I'll be more like Christine. I'll be exactly like

Christine. In fact, from now on, why don't you just call me Christine?

Go ahead. I'm Christine. Anything you want to say to me now?

Yeah, your sister's nuts.

Just heading out to work.

Without saying goodbye?

I'm sorry. I was just kind of in a hurry. You see, there's been a problem

my computer mainframe.

The modem.

The whole network.

RAM.

Memory megabyte.

Reboot.

Why don't you just admit that you're sneaking out because of our fight last

night?

Okay, I'm sneaking out. Bye.

Craig!

I'm sorry I got so angry. I didn't feel comfortable in that bar.

Oh, Kim, it's all right. I shouldn't have made you feel bad about it. I mean,

don't want to force you to do anything you don't want to do.

Thank you.

Besides, who needs fun anyway?

I mean, that kind of fun. You know, like drunken bar fun.

We can just, you know, stay at home and have our own kind of fun.

Yeah. Why don't I bring some Thai food home from work and we can play cards?

Crazy eights.

Huh? You love your crazy eights.

Get a room.

Get a house.

Christine up yet?

No, she's still sleeping off last night. Man, was that a wild night or what? I

don't think I've ever seen Craig have that much fun.

Yeah. I think he actually loosened up enough to let that stick get a peek at

outside world.

Jimmy, do you think I'm fun?

I'm fun.

Um, yes and no.

What does that mean?

No.

No?

Mostly no.

I knew it. I knew I wasn't fun.

No, come on, Kim. It's not that you can't be fun. It's just that sometimes

can be funner.

Well, actually, the proper way to say that is you can be more fun.

Yeah, like now, for instance.

See,

you've made me feel stupid. That's not fun.

Why is this bothering you all of a sudden?

I feel like I'm keeping Greg from having fun.

Well, then just start having fun. It's easy.

Well, easy for you.

All right, what are you doing tonight?

Well, Greg and I were just going to hang out and play some cards.

Wow, that sounds like big fun.

Are you serious? Because you can play Crazy Eights with four.

Kim, Kim, Kim.

Why don't you and I go out tonight?

What? Yeah, you and me. Christine can watch the kids and you and I go out.

Why? Well, do you want to learn how to have fun or not?

Well, I just don't know if tonight's a good night. Greg's really looking

to Crazy Eight.

Cam, Cam, Cam.

You know,

this is kind of exciting.

It's a weeknight. We're in a bar.

I'm wearing these big hoop earrings.

I feel so reckless.

What do you want to do first?

Why don't we just get a couple drinks?

Okay.

What's a fun drink?

Oh, I know. A whiskey.

I've always wanted to drink a whiskey.

I'll have a whiskey.

What kind?

Oh, I don't know.

What's a fun whiskey?

You know what? Just give us a couple Jack Daniels, huh?

Hey, look. There's nobody over at the pool table. You know how to play pool?

Oh, sure. Remember we had that pool table in my parents' basement? Oh, yeah.

Christine and I love that table.

I felt you could feel so soft against my knees.

Cheers.

So you want to break first, Fats?

Do I look fat in these pants?

Just break.

Okay.

Oh, God.

I haven't done this in years.

What are those people doing?

They're just here to watch, Kim.

I can't do it with people watching.

Boy, you're really not like Christine.

What is your problem?

I'm not good at pool. What if I look like an idiot?

Who cares? We don't know anybody here.

Hey, Bob.

We're never going to see these people again. Well, I'm seeing them now.

Kim, look, the whole key to having fun is not caring what other people think

about you. I can't help it. I'm always worried what people think about me.

then you've got to face your fear. You've got to get out there in front of

everyone, and you've got to let them think whatever they're going to think.

What do you think? Let's dance.

No, thank you.

Okay, look, Kim.

I could use a lot of manipulative psychological tactics to try to get you

that dance floor, but that's going to take a while, and I really kind of like

this song. So what I'm going to do is I'm going to take one of your hoop

earrings off to the dance floor, and I hope you're going to join me.

Stop it!

People are looking! People are looking!

Hey, Christine.

Hi.

Where's Kim?

She went out to a bar.

Yeah, right.

No, I'm serious. She and Jimmy went back to that bar. Here, she left you a note.

Kim didn't write this. There's no date. There's no time. There's no little kitty

face at the bottom.

They were in a rush?

I don't understand.

What's going on?

Look, they just went out to have a little fun, all right? They'll be back

That's so weird.

They're out together.

We're here at the house together. It's almost like we swapped partners.

Yeah, I know. It is kind of strange.

Hey, um...

Come in the kitchen. I made you some dinner.

Really? Yeah, right. We're going to have sex later, too.

Seriously, there's no dinner?

You know, there's some people out here dancing with it. They might look over

here and see you for a second.

Eh, let them watch.

Are you serious?

Uh -huh.

All right, good for you. I think you're ready for graduation.

What? What are you doing?

Did you see Kyle?

Look at you getting wild.

This is great. I can't believe it. She's a firecracker. Go ahead and show her

what you got. Do the little spinning thing you did before. No, no.

I'm getting kind of tired.

Hey, come on. Let's dance. I never get to see you like this.

Oh, no, really. I have to go to the ladies' room.

You're going to use that bathroom?

What the hell did you do to her?

Kim? Yeah.

What are you doing?

I just needed some air.

Kim, the only air in here came from other people.

What's going on?

I'm sorry. I was having fun with Jimmy and then you walked in and I started to

get all self -conscious.

Because of me? Why?

I don't know. I guess I'm just worried about how I look in front of you.

Kim, we've seen each other at our most vulnerable.

I saw you give birth to a child. You saw me cry and pass out.

What else is there to see?

It's not that.

I guess it's because you're my husband.

You're the one person in whose eyes I want to be perfect.

You are perfect. I just wanted to dance.

It's not the dancing. It's letting it all out in front of my husband.

I'm sorry. I know it's crazy.

Yeah, you're right.

It is crazy. I mean, it's just crazy that the woman I love most in the world

so afraid of what I'm going to think of her that you can't even let your hair

down a little in front of me.

Greg, how many times do you want me to apologize?

Tim, I don't want you to apologize. That's it. I don't want you to

just want you to try.

I don't know. Somehow it's my fault. You know, she can let loose in front of

everyone but me. How's that supposed to make me feel? Greg, she's trying. She

came out tonight with me, didn't she?

Yeah. Well, she did that for you.

To start?

Yeah, I guess so.

I can't hold it much longer It's getting stronger and stronger And when I

get that feeling I need sexual healing Sexual healing

Oh baby, makes me feel so fine

Something that's good for me. Get up, get up, get up, get up. Let's make love

tonight.

Wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up. Cause you do it right.

And when I get that feeling, I need sexual healing.

Sexual healing.

That midnight train to Georgia.

Living on the midnight train.

Don't live without her.