Original subtitles

Someone's got a birthday coming up. I know. I can't believe you're already

to be five.

Seems like just yesterday that I was lying on that table cursing at Jimmy and

praying for a little relief.

And then nine months later, we had Dominic.

Are you guys planning on having a B -I -R -T -H -D -A -Y -P -A -R -T -Y?

We don't like to spell around Dominic.

It confuses him? No, it confuses us.

We find it easier just to get rid of them.

Hey, Dominic, you want to play hide -and -go -seek?

Yeah. Okay.

One, two, three, four, five. Okay, we got about five minutes.

So what are you guys doing for his birthday?

Oh, he's usually happy with just a birthday cake and a few candles.

That way he's got his two favorite things, sugar and fire.

He's not spending his birthday with other children?

Dominic doesn't really like being around other children.

What do you mean he lives with two children, Logan and Sam?

Well, yeah, but that's different. I mean, you know, they don't talk, they

around, they eat things that Dominic drops on the floor. He thinks of them

like dogs who bark funny.

Hey. Hey, where have you been?

The grocery store. I saw the list you put on the refrigerator. Somebody

a little kiss.

I didn't leave a list.

Thank you.

You wrote the list?

You were running low on stuff.

Jimmy, that's so rude. See if I need anything before you leave Greg a list.

I can't believe he left me a list.

I can't believe you think I'd spell butter with two Ds.

Hey, did you know that Christine and Jimmy aren't throwing a birthday party

Dominic? It's probably just a money thing.

Well, that's not what this should be about. I mean, Dominic's our nephew.

Let's just tell him we'll throw the party. Great.

Dominic's going to be so excited.

Yeah, I hope so. I want to do whatever I can to make sure that child grows up

happy and successful so one day he can move out of this house and take his

freeloading parents with him.

and i were just talking and we decided to throw dominic a birthday party our

treat oh my god that's so nice hey guys we really appreciate this and you know

what it's something i'm gonna pay back every cent yeah right no seriously and

and to show you i mean business tomorrow i'm gonna start looking for a job

start looking start looking for a job

jimmy you've lived here for five months you haven't been looking for a job

just want any job. You know, if I was going to sell, I would have stayed back

east. Jimmy, you just can't wait around for your dream job. You have to do like

I did at the studio. I took an entry -level position and I worked my way up.

These days, you can find low -level jobs anywhere.

What about where you work?

Um, no, that's all filled up.

That whole studio is not single? It was not one single? No, nothing.

It's so crowded there I can barely get to my office.

Man,

is it full there.

That's too bad because I was looking to get a fresh start.

Get in somewhere where people don't know the old me and I can prove that I'm

responsible.

worry about Jimmy. You know, he'll get a job soon. He knows without a job, he

can't achieve his lifelong dream, collecting permanent disability.

When you say there are no jobs at the studio... I know. I could barely keep a

straight face.

I don't know where I pulled that one from.

Greg, he needs a job. Kim, he cannot work at the studio, okay? Because when I

drive on that lot and that gate closes behind me, I know for the next eight

hours there will be no Jimmy. They have actual guards there to keep him out.

You know, the longer he's not working, the longer he'll be living in our guest

house. Can't you at least just get him an interview? Maybe that'll jumpstart

him, motivate him.

Or we can just drive them all out to the country, open the car door, and hope

they run free.

Greg, are you going to get him the interview or not?

Of course I'm going to get him the interview. From the second you asked,

knew I was going to do it. Why do we even have these conversations? I swear

should just tie my hands up with string and dance me around.

Mr.

Bradley, I'm Greg Warner. I think my interest in cold?

Yes, Mr. Warner. Come in, come in.

I didn't know you'd be coming personally.

We don't get a lot of executives down here.

I'm Jimmy Hughes, Greg's brother -in -law.

I need a job.

Oh, the brother -in -law needs a job. I get it, Mr. Warner.

No, no, no. There's nothing to get.

And there's no winking, okay? There's no winking. You should just put as little

effort into this as you would for anyone you may or may not like. Well, let's

see what we've got.

Way to pull some strings. What the hell are you doing? Well, Jimmy, I think you

should get this job on your own merit, okay? I want them to think of you as

Jimmy the person and not Jimmy Gregg's brother -in -law.

Well, Greg, if you're worried about my dignity, just remember that my last job

was dressing up as a giant sponge outside a car wash.

A sponge, huh?

Must have been quite a stretch for you.

Well, we do have a few positions open.

Okay, then I'll leave you alone and I'll let you interview him like any other

possible employee that does not have a college education and a minor police

record. Police record.

What did you say that for?

It is better to tell this stuff right up front instead of them finding this out

later.

It was really nothing, really. What happened was Jimmy beat up a couple

guards at a frat party, and that's how he got kicked out of college, depriving

him from a college degree. Now, whether he had the grades or not to get the

degree in the first place is immaterial.

Summing up, uneducated, prone to violence. Good luck, buddy.

Come on, Ali.

Well, I swear what he means at this moment.

You mean everything.

Have a good night, Mr. Warner. You too, Jimmy.

I

don't think

there's any damage. I won't have to write you up.

What the hell are you doing?

My job.

Mr. Bradley thought since I could take out three security guards, I deserved a

shot at the gate.

That's what we call this here, the gate.

Uh, yeah, uh, hold on.

I'm really having fun planning Dominic's party.

Now, I thought we'd start with giant bubbles, then balloon animal fun,

by Katie, the singing lady.

I hope Dominic doesn't freak out being around all those other kids.

Oh, I'm sure he'll be fine once he gets used to them.

I bet Dominic can't wait to make new friends, right, Dominic?

He can't hear you when he's watching TV.

Well, then maybe we should just... Hey!

Hey. Hey, hon.

Where's Jimmy?

Showing his pepper spray to Mrs. Marshall next door.

Wow, they gave him pepper spray on his second day? You know, I don't think

has ever had a job with this much responsibility.

You know, I'm glad he's working and all, but let's face it, he's not

transporting plutonium.

He basically sits in a booth and raises a gate. As long as the gate doesn't fall

off, it's a good day.

Sorry, man, just flush your eyes out with a little water. You should be okay.

There's my working man.

How was your day?

Not too bad.

The gate fell off, but I was able to fix it.

But you know the best part of my day?

Check this out.

Oh, my God, Jimmy.

What are you doing in a Rolls Royce? Well, I'm getting my Christmas card

picture. Yeah, I went to the folks back home to see how well I'm doing out in L

.A.

That's Gary Walton's car. He's the head of the studio.

Yeah, yeah, that's Gary. He took the picture.

You talked to Gary Walton? Yeah, he's a nice guy, yeah. I told him I wouldn't

let him through the gate unless he took a picture of me in his car.

He went with it.

So basically you held the head of the studio hostage so you could get in his

and put your feet on his dash. Jimmy, I can't believe you would do this. Greg,

relax. I'm sure it's no big deal.

It's just a picture. Yeah, a picture of your last day at work.

I'm probably going to get fired too. I got you the job.

You don't really think I'm going to get fired, do you?

No. Probably would have done that already if he was going to do it. Just

me you're not going to bother anyone else at the studio. Yeah, I promise.

There's only three things you have to do as a security guard. Check people's

passes, open the gate, and wave.

Even waving's optional.

Go out back, kids. It's almost time to decorate the pizza.

Hi, I'm Stan the Reptile Man.

A reptile man. I ordered a singing lady.

Yeah, Katie could make it. She picked up some headlights from a game of Duck,

Duck, Goose.

The service sent me.

What do you want me to set up?

What is it that you do, exactly?

I introduce the kids to the wonderful world of reptiles and creepy crawly

things.

Do you sing at all? I could do Itsy Bitsy Spider.

And show them the big spiders.

Oh, sweet mother.

Why don't you go set up in the backyard?

Do you know who the red -headed kid is? That's Timmy Doyle from across the

street. Yeah.

Did he come with clones?

I think so.

Okay, well, we either have to find him a pair of underpants or get him out of

the moonbelt.

Oh, don't you think we should get Dominic away from the TV? He's missing

whole party.

Dominic's just not used to being around so many kids. I just...

We need some time to relax and, you know, we'll get into the swing of things

soon enough. No, I really wouldn't worry.

That stupid bunny.

Hey, I got the ice, but don't rip it out of my arms. Ow, they were stuck to my

arms.

Thanks for going to the store, Greg.

Hey, Greg, you know, I...

I feel really bad about bothering the head of the studio like that, and I just

thought it'd be fun. Oh, forget about it. Enjoy your son's birthday. I know

didn't mean it. He's probably forgot about the whole thing anyway.

Yeah, he told me he wasn't mad at all.

You talked to him again.

Well, I felt so bad about bothering him, I went up to his office and apologized

to his face.

You bothered him in his office?

I don't know. I didn't bother him at all. He said he was getting out of the

meeting anyways.

Yeah.

Check this out.

Got Mel Gibson's autograph.

You interrupted a meeting between the head of the studio and Mel Gibson so you

could apologize for bothering him? Are you beginning to smell the idiot in this

recipe? No, no, look, don't worry. Gary was really cool about it, man. He was

really nice. In fact, he was so nice, I invited him to the party.

What? I didn't say you'd try to come by.

Yeah, I'm sure you'd try to come. That way you can fire us both in front of our

families.

Listen, man, he sounded sincere.

Yeah, of course he sounds sincere. He's the most respected and successful studio

head in Hollywood.

In a city of liars, he's the king.

I guess you're right.

Hey,

Jimmy. Sorry I'm late.

Uh, Gary, what are you doing here?

You invited me to your son's birthday party? Oh, I was just doing that to be

nice. I didn't really want you to come.

Gotcha. Come on in.

You got me there.

Jimmy, I haven't figured out yet if you're stupid or fearless.

Well, my wife's got money on stupid.

Thanks for coming.

You're welcome.

Hey, this is my son, Anthony.

Hey, Anthony.

This is my son, Dominic. Hey, Dominic, this is Anthony and Mr. Walden. Mr.

Walden's my boss.

Everything you watch on TV, he makes it.

Hey. Thank you.

Oh, you're welcome.

I can't believe he made the head of the studio come to my house. I'm sure he

didn't make him. Oh, he made him. He has a way.

Starts looking at you with those droopy feet in the eyes, and next thing you

know, he's sleeping naked at the foot of your bed.

He had a few too many wine coolers that night, and it never happened again.

Look at him out there, talking to Gary like Gary likes him. Maybe he does like

him. That is impossible.

Why? Because he should like me. I'm the one that plays by the rules.

I see Gary on the lot every day. Do I talk to him? No.

I completely ignore him. Does he appreciate it? No, he's acting like I

even exist.

Maybe he doesn't know you exist. Let's go out there and talk to him. I'm not

going to talk to him. I'm not ready for this.

I was going to ignore him a couple more months, and then I was going to start

giving him the chin.

The chin?

Yeah, you know, when you walk by and give him one of these.

Then you just keep right on walking. I keep giving him the chin in my own

So let me get this straight.

You're going to wait two months to give him the chin.

Then what, another month before you wave?

And then maybe after a couple of years, you'll be ready to say hello?

I don't think Gary's prepared to commit this much time to your relationship.

Yeah, well, go ahead and laugh. It's how I got you.

Maybe you'd like to... Hey!

Jimmy.

Who's the nervous little guy who keeps looking at me?

freaking Gary out. What? I've just given him his space.

You're also giving him the creeps now. You just go up and talk to him.

I can't do that. Why not?

Because what if he doesn't like me?

Why wouldn't he like you?

Because he's the boss. He's a big shot. Why wouldn't he want to talk to me? I

mean, who am I?

You know what? Your problem is you put people up on a pedestal.

Okay, you think just because, you know, someone makes more money or is more

successful or smarter or more powerful, it makes them a better person than you.

But that is exactly what makes somebody better than you.

No, it's not.

It's being a good, decent person or a professional football player that makes

you better.

Just be yourself and go up and talk to them.

That's easy for you to say, Jimmy. You talk to everyone like they're your Uncle

Billy Bob.

I don't know how the hell you do it. I just find something we have in common,

like with Gary.

Okay, when I saw him on the lot, okay, he makes television shows, I watch

television shows, bam, we're friends.

And just go up and treat him like a regular guy.

You're right, you're right.

I'll go up and talk to him, because he is a regular guy, and I'll just be

myself. Where are you going?

To put on a nicer shirt.

Can I help you with something?

I'm just a mire in your kitchen.

Thank you.

So what are you going to show the kids?

Oh, you know, I have some spiders and lizards, a couple frogs.

That's about it.

Oh, really? I thought that you guys usually bring like a big snake or

Snake's sick.

Oh, well, good.

I mean, I hope he gets better, but I'm just a little squeamish around snakes.

Kim, this party was a great idea. Come see all the friends that Dominic's made.

I knew it. I knew this would bring him out of his shell.

Oh, no.

Kim, just turn it.

Mom!

Yeah, honey, you did great.

Dominic never lets this many kids watch TV with him.

Thanks for the party, Aunt Kim.

You're welcome, Dominic.

I'm just so glad that you're having a happy... Oh,

Mr. Walden, I'm Greg Warner.

Oh, hey, hey.

Nice to meet you. Yeah. Hey, call me Gary, huh? Okay, Gary.

You know, I work at the studio.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Of course. I thought your name sounded familiar.

Yeah, I see you there all the time, usually in the commissary eating lunch.

Oh, really?

Yeah. I was noticing yesterday you were enjoying the captain's platter.

You watch me eat?

No, it's just, you know, we were having the same thing. It's like a couple

Tuesdays ago I noticed we were wearing the same shirt.

You keep track of what I'm wearing?

No, absolutely not. It's just, you know, I'm stuck in my mind because we were

wearing the same shirt.

Probably bought it at the same store.

I know you live out in Brentwood.

How do you know where I live?

Not for any weird reason. It's just I work in business affairs and sometimes I

have to send contracts right out to your house.

It's just I have a tremendous memory for details.

It's kind of a curse. Got all those numbers jumbled up there.

Like 702 -13 -9724.

Recognize that?

It's your social security number.

I know that sounds strange, but I'm just a regular guy.

Hi, Daddy.

Hey, this guy's got quite the armor. Hey, I bet he does. Hey, buddy, want a

cookie? Yum.

Ah, look at it. He likes it. See, I'm not weird.

Daddy, my tongue itches.

That cookie doesn't have peanuts in it, does it?

Don't worry. The kid's going to be fine. Oh, thank God.

How was I supposed to know he was allergic to peanuts?

Look, I need to talk to Gary. I need to apologize. Yeah, Gary doesn't really

want to talk to you. Oh, okay.

I understand.

It's been a long day.

But I'll tell you one thing. I've learned my lesson.

From now on, when I see him on the lot, I'm just going to talk to him like he's

a regular guy.

Yeah, he doesn't want you to talk to him. He, in fact, wants you to just go

to ignoring him.

What? No, I have to talk to him. I have to explain.

No, no, no. I think he's really serious about keeping you away. He's even hired

some personal security.

Jimmy, that's ridiculous. Greg, I'm sorry. I can't let you do that.

He's hired U .S. security?

You're supposed to follow him around?

No, I'm supposed to follow you around.

Well, that is just stupid.

Get away from me, Jimmy. Just doing my job, sir.

Did that guy say when he was coming back to pick up a snake?

He said maybe tomorrow.