Original subtitles

Good night, sweetheart.

All my prayers are for you.

Good night, sweetheart.

I'll be watching over you.

Tears and parting may make us alone.

But with the dawn,

a new day is born.

Can I help you?

You've still got the hump with me, yes? The hump? Me? Why would I have the hump?

Oh, come on. You blame me for stopping you time travelling.

Only because you did.

No, I didn't. The time gate closed again. We always knew it might.

Yeah, but you dragged me back.

I could still be there in 1944.

Instead, I'm stuck here covered in neutral sealer, thanks.

So you have still got the hump?

No, Gary.

I just have the desire to kill you.

Not quickly, mind you. Slowly.

using a sophisticated cocktail of industrial solvents that dissolve only

bones. Then I can watch you collapse in a rumpled heap of skin, knowing that for

the rest of your life you'll be transported from place to place in a

-all.

Well, personally, I think you've still got the hump.

Look, can I take you for a drink?

You can.

In fact, you can take me for a drink every day of my life until I pop my

And somewhere along the line you might find it within yourself to forgive me.

We could be talking several hundred thousand pints down the line.

So, how come you're chatting me up?

I need a favour.

Ha! Surprise, bloody surprise. I'll get my coat.

Gary.

Surprise, surprise.

Yes, sir.

Kate. Kate?

Have you come round to make my day?

Oh, I'm not sure I'd know how.

Oh, that's all right. There's full instructions sewn into the lining of my

skirt.

Kate, you are wickedly subtle.

Oh, I'm sorry, Gary, but when it comes to men, I'm starting to think that

subtlety is just another way of talking to myself.

Sorry, here's my date.

Hmm, prefers the company of other men.

Keep an eye on that Gary's farrow.

So, what's this fave you've come crawling for?

You were crawling when you were, and I think I missed that. No, I'll crawl from

here.

You said you'd print me some more wartime fibres.

Sorry, no can do.

Come on, I'm down to my last 20 quid. What am I going to do?

Well, you could try sitting outside a tube station with a small dog. It works

for some people.

I've got a wife and kid to support. Can't you do anything?

I could give you a nice piece of laminated artboard.

What am I supposed to do with that?

You're right on it, wife and kid to support, and sit outside a tube station.

And that's instead of the white fibers? No, it's instead of the small dog.

You're not being very helpful, Ron. That's because I'm not feeling very

generous, Gary.

And you know when I am at my most generous.

When you're out of your brain. Quite right.

So as it's my afternoon off, I suggest we retire to a local hostelry. And you

can get me very, very generous.

Eastern pubs are the pits at lunchtime.

Full of trendies trying for pose of the week.

Whatever happened to all those good old honest cockney folk?

Ronnie and Reggie had them all blown away.

They tell me those were the days.

Lunchtime at the Blind Beggar.

Apparently you could nick someone's pint, get measured for concrete shoes,

half an hour on a bent jewellery and still be back at work for two.

Yeah, well, what about these white fibres, eh, Ron?

Ron, old buddy. Ron, old friend.

Well, the point is, Gary... Gary, old friend.

The point is, Gary... Oh, of several thousand more pints.

White fibres are out of the question.

Oh, come on, Ron, you're not even trying. Gary, we're all trying.

There isn't a man in that print shop who hasn't got some private job on the go.

Or at least they would have if Mrs Flanagan would look through the wafer

enough. There must be some way of getting her out of that office.

There is. Ask her out.

Me? Come on, Gary, if she came on any stronger, you could have her arrested.

Ignore all that. That's just harmless, jokey stuff.

Ron, I've got two wives.

I'm not asking you to marry her.

Although I ain't gone bride to maid, reception, honeymoon.

Great distraction. I could get loads done.

Just forget it. My life is complicated enough.

However weird it may sound to you, I am a happily married man.

Oh, got a secret wife somewhere?

Yvonne, I thought you were in Newmarket talking to the racing fraternity. You

mean talking to the wall.

Oh, you're wasting your time there, Yvonne. You can't talk new age therapies

those people. Died in the wall traditionalist. You're not kidding.

mention the word alternative, I thought they were going to call the police.

Must have been like trying to flog Chumbawumba CDs to John Prescott.

Anyway, one of the lads from the yards felt sorry for me and gave me a couple

tips. First tip, get out of Newmarket. Second tip, don't come back.

No, it's a couple of horses for this weekend.

Well, I've never had a tip before. I've got to put a bet on, haven't I?

Go on, will you do it for me? I can't go into a bucket.

Why not?

Well, I've got this phobia.

When I was a kid, my grandad took me into one and all I can remember is the

smell of smoke, the smell of sweat and an even stronger smell of feet.

I was very little, the feet were very close.

And that's why you've always wanted to be tall.

All I have to do is think the word betting shop and I have this

desire to throw up.

It's all different now, Yvonne.

It's multi -screens, plush furniture, posh carpets. They even have snack bars

some of them.

You mean they actually sell you stuff to throw up? That's really clever.

Oh, go on, do it for me. I haven't got time.

Oh, and I have, I suppose.

Oh, I see. You've got the hunt with me as well.

Well, it might have something to do with catching tickets for you two, then

being stood up, standing outside Stamford Bridge in the freezing cold. If

get this right, Gary, it'll be a first this week.

Perhaps you should try someone more reliable.

Don't you employ a personal betting assistant? You have a personal

else.

Ron, could you do me a favour without becoming bitter and twisted?

Doing favours for people without becoming bitter is something of a

Yvonne. I see it as a prelude to becoming St. Ron at the lithopress.

For the record, I don't want my employees getting involved in case the

down. Yes, all right, I'll put it on. And yes, I can manage it. No -one left

school without knowing how to fill in a betting slip.

Thank you.

Here's 100. Put 50 on each horse.

What? I like it.

Well, nothing ventured, nothing gained, eh?

There's something about a woman being reckless that turns me on.

Thanks for the warning.

Don't let him watch Gladiators.

Well, I'll catch you Monday.

Why Monday? Oh, right, you're off to Paris, I forgot.

Don't forget the tips. Well, don't forget the duty free.

I suppose we should be on that as well.

Winning money here isn't the point. I need it in the past.

Win it there, then.

What? Look, I know you've always been a bit prissy about your time travel. Well,

I've held back from certain things. Like changing the face of the world, yes?

You don't have to change anything.

Just take more advantage. Look at these.

You find the correct Sunday paper and you've got all the racing results for

Saturday afternoon.

Armed with that, you can walk into any stadium in London and go through the

card.

Yeah, but that'd be... What?

Well, you know, it'd be a bit... Highly profitable?

Highly profitable, you're right.

I mean, I am down to my last 20 quid. By Saturday afternoon, you could have more

white fibres than I could print.

Just by walking into Hackney Stadium.

Hackney? Oh, I used to enjoy an outing to the dogs. Oh, I haven't been since

hostilities. Since the outbreak of war?

No. I'd a row with a bloke on a turnstile.

Used to get him free before that.

Well, come on, then.

Today? Must be joking. Never get in.

Well, I'm sure he won't still remember you.

He'll have locked the gates by now.

Oh, you're kidding.

Oh, wake up, Gary. With these restricted crowds, they don't even have to be

full. With no football worth watching.

Reg, I've been given this string of amazing tips. A whole load of dead sirs.

Why have you got your wallet out, Gary? There's these. They're all about you.

And the shoes that we ordered for Michael, they turned up yesterday.

Can I pick them up today?

Um, yeah, sure. But can I do it later? Later this afternoon?

OK. Your money won't be worth any more by tea time.

Oh, you never know.

Rich, can we have a talk as two men of the world?

Right.

What language would this be in?

It's a joke. I can do them there.

Oh, yes.

Yes, very nearly.

Yeah, since you're bang on the head, talking to you is completely different.

Don't have to explain everything now.

Is that what you're out to do?

Oh, all the time.

Anyway, I... That must have been really irritating.

Yes, it was.

I thought maybe we could just... How did you put up with me?

Well, it wasn't easy.

I mean, even though you were a bit of a pain in the rear end.

Well, your heart was always in the right place. Now me head's in the right

place, too. Yeah.

So, now we can talk. As men of the world. Yes.

So, we're doing this in English, then?

Oh. It doesn't make you happy, does it?

What? Thinking.

Only, my super retired the other day, and I found myself thinking, you work

your life, they pay you a pittance, and they throw you on a scrap heap with a

clock that don't even tick through your retirement. I mean, what is it all

about, Gary? Oh, never ask that, Reg.

Oh, Margie says I'm thinking too much nowadays.

Yeah, she's probably right.

You make yourself very unhappy.

Look, the fact is, Reg, I'm broke.

No. Well, that place up west has set me back a fortune.

This is the second month in a row the department's wages have fouled up.

But these tips are the real thing, Reg.

This is not gambling. This is serious investment.

You'd better not let Phoebe hear you say that.

Oh, Phoebe's broad -minded.

Phoebe, do you ever get any bookies runners in here?

What? No, I certainly do not.

What sort of place do you think I'm running here?

Gambling, indeed.

What's got into you, Gary Sparrow?

Well, just a passing interest, a bit of fun.

I've been given some tips. Dead certs, I'm told.

Oh, Gary.

That's what they all say.

Just when I thought everything was going all right.

Phoebe?

It's her old dad.

That was his voice.

The horses.

She saw it all when she was growing up.

Phoebe.

Not gambling, Gary. Anything but gambling.

I had no idea about your dad. Why did you never say?

It's nothing to be proud of, is it?

Years ago, he had his own pub.

We had a lot once.

He just... Chucked it all away.

It's a sickness, Gary. It really is. I saw it all the time when I was growing

up.

You never knew what you were coming home to.

Furniture or not.

You drove my mum into an early grave.

Phoebe, I would never let it get that bad. I'm not like that. But why this,

Gary? Why gambling?

Relax, Phoebe. It's not gambling.

No? No.

It's an investment. They're dead certs.

You talk to him, Reg.

Reg, I've got to do something.

You must know one off -course bookie.

Mo Green.

What? Great. Where is he?

Wormwood Scrubs.

Oh, come on, Reg. Bookies aren't criminals.

They are if they don't do it in the right place, and the right place is on

racecourse. I mean, the day a man can walk down the street and put on a bet

like that, it'll be the end of civilisation as we know it. You keep

Reg.

Reg, I've got to do something.

I'm desperate. Please.

Well, I hear there's... Some bloke taking over on Mo Green's old patch.

chancer from up north.

Well, great, let's try him.

Look, we'll kill two birds with one stone.

I can win some money, and you can observe.

Take note.

Generally collect evidence.

Who knows, next week you could raid him.

Undercover reconnaissance. We'll be setting it up as we go along. Well,

right. Right then, it's you and me, Gary, off down the bookies.

I've been sitting there enough of you, Rach.

Not really, Gary.

To be honest with you, with these on, I don't even recognise you.

Who might you be?

Oh, Gary Sparrow.

I'm one of Mo's credit customers.

Not that I expect credit, of course. I'm glad about that. It saves upsetting

you. I'm taking bets on Hackney, Haringey and Clapton, all right? What is

top limit?

Are you with you?

Yes, he is. I just brought him with me to carry my winnings.

I don't have limits.

Limits are what punters have.

Cocky with her.

Let's see if we can change all that.

Right, here goes.

Hackney, two o 'clock. Five pound went on trap two, brave daisy.

Five pound on trap two, brave daisy.

It's just a matter of waiting and counting.

Gary, I'm not happy with this little coin.

It's perfect, Rach.

Not too extreme, and yet no -one would recognise you from Adam.

Then why do people keep saying, Hello, Reg, undercover job, is it?

Yes, perhaps a false moustache might have been a good idea.

Yeah. With a bit more time, I could have requisitioned one from the yard. I

could be stood here now with a wonderful George V, or maybe a two -foot WG

Grace. Still, might have been a bit much with a wig, eh?

Yes.

Oh, here comes a hackney result.

Fantastic elect, Gary. Here it comes.

It'll be Brave Daisy, three to one.

Violet Wonder, seven to two.

Violet Wonder, seven to two.

Surely some mistake.

You and your dead search. I'm surprised at you, Gary. Bear told me you had a

bang on your head and all, if you ask me.

No, that's not right.

What's happened?

Has a certain somebody printed me some duff info?

No.

But no, that was the result.

Brave Daisy should be the winner.

Shouldn't she?

Leave me out of gambling, Gary.

I'm here purely as an highly trained and eagle -eyed observer.

Gary.

Gary, what an unexpected development.

Phoebe, what are you doing here? Finding out what you're doing here.

There's no place for a woman. I mean, look, there isn't a woman in the place.

Well, there should be. And they should be dragging these men out of here,

throwing their wages away like this, their kids going short. It's

Keep your voice down, Phoebe. I don't care who hears me.

Gary, are we rich?

Rich? No.

Then what are you doing here, throwing away our money? Come on, let's go.

I will, I will. I just want to see the next Hackney result.

Not another one of your dead shirts.

Look, Phoebe, I know what I'm doing. You watch. It'll be bold bid, track four.

Here it comes now.

King Oscar, drop three.

King Oscar, drop four.

No, that's not possible.

Gary.

Wait a minute.

This character's making it up.

He waits to see who nobody's backed and then he declares it the winner. Talk

about a bad loser.

He's not himself, Rich.

This is gambling fever. I saw it with Dad.

They've become blind to the truth.

Rich, this bloke's a villain.

Well, of course he is. He's taking bets in a garage.

He has taken half my money.

Excuse me, a word.

I'm not happy.

No? Try backing a winner.

I have just backed two winners, but news of it doesn't seem to have travelled

this far.

So what are you saying?

I'm saying that judging by your results, the other end of that telephone is up

somebody's rectum.

These are not the correct results.

You got a telephone, then?

No. Then how do you know?

You've got to be some kind of race fixer.

Because if you think you know the results, I reckon it's you what's

over.

Look, I want my winnings because I have back the last two winners. I don't look

like it to me.

Oh, you're not being very bright, are you?

You don't know who my contacts are.

That's true.

So I would urge you, under the circumstances, to do the sensible thing.

The, um... The sensible thing, you say?

I think that's best.

Right. Oi!

That ain't all for my mate.

Your mate. Do him and all.

You can't do that!

You can't do that!

Are you all right, mate?

That was a nasty bang on the head.

I can't do that to me.

I'm from Scotland Yard.

Scotland Yard?

Is this something I said?

What were you thinking of, Reg?

To mark the hoop.

We should relax and think about something nice.

I just fancied a bowl of tomato soup.

I'm on the edge of thinking back to how we used to be.

Scotland Yard are in for a bit of a shock.

I wonder how long before they notice.

Margie will be ever so relieved, though.

She was proud of him being promoted and all that, but said he wasn't the Red she

knew and loved.

He was starting to think too much. He was off down a steep, slippery slope.

Well, it's probably best for all concerned, then.

Personally, I was just beginning to find him handy, but... Don't expect any

sympathy from me, Gary Sparrow. I just hope that teaches you not to go gambling

and mix in with low life. Oh, lesson learned, I think.

I promise, no more gambling.

Athlete sandwiches.

Pardon?

Athlete sandwiches.

Well, I've gone off tomato soup.

I was thinking about it so long it went cold.

Well, what do you think I should think? You're the nurse.

Whatever you fancy the most, Reg.

It's just nice to have you back.

Well, maybe Saturday evening, but I'd better get back to the office.

Oh, Gary, I don't want to nag, but it's the end of the week and those bills need

sorting. Oh, yeah, of course.

Is five enough?

Oh, that'll do most, except Mr Toffee knows the butcher.

Right. Oh, that should do me.

Yeah, it's done me too.

Oh, come on, Ron, I'm totally skint.

There must be the odd moment where you can print a few.

I need about three hours, Gary.

Mrs. Flanagan's never out of the office for that long.

Unless someone takes her out.

A date. A date, a rendezvous, a tryst. A slow rogering in a lorry park in

Stratford East.

I don't care.

It's three hours which is the important bit.

She's coming back. Go for it. The whole print room's behind you. I haven't asked

a woman out for ages. What if she doesn't?

Haven't you got any work to do?

Okay. Gary.

Twice in one weekend.

Yes. Yes, I just can't keep away, can I? Really?

Fancy going for a drink?

What, now?

A sort of date?

Date, rendezvous, trist.

Do you know Stratford East?

What? They do a nice glass of wine at the theatre bar. I'll get my coat.

We've been out two hours.

Days?

Oh, no, no.

No, I meant it feels like we've known each other for ages because you're such

great company.

No, I'm not sure that waiter would agree.

Gary, just because a wine takes four years to mature doesn't mean it needs to

take a week to pour out.

And you didn't like his attitude.

I ordered a macon superior, not a garçon superior.

So... This is what you're into.

Oh, yes, yes.

1939 to 45.

Items for the evoking of suitable memories.

I even dress for it.

Oh, right.

Right, I'm with you. Well, I'm game. So, what's it to be? The nurse and the

wounded airman?

What? Or two Nazis in a bunker with only hours to live?

a wonderful sense of humour, Kate. I said to Ron, you have a wonderful sense

humour.

But that's why I jumped at the chance to go out with you, you know. Well, that

and I thought you deserved a break.

You felt sorry for me?

Oh, no, no.

Good, good, don't.

No, but you should give it a rest every now and then.

That's what I always say to my wife.

I did mention I was married. Yes, yes, you did. Yes, I did.

Well, I'm always saying to my wife, you know, you should rest more.

Even 90s women, work, work, work.

Do I appear to be...

Cracking up?

Well, no, no, no, of course not. I'm just saying that stress symptoms can

on like that.

Well, thank you for caring, Gary.

Um, look, Kate, Mrs Flanagan.

Mr Sparrow.

I should mention I'm a happily married man. Yes, you keep saying that, Gary. It

makes you sound awfully sweet.

And just where is Mrs Sparrow tonight?

In France.

On her own?

No, with her partner, Clive. Her business partner.

Gary. Are you sure you're both happily married, not just you?

And, um, what about Mr Flanagan? You never mention him. No, history.

He was a very, uh, nice man.

Regular church girl, did lots of charity work.

He was an organ donor, too, though he rarely donated to me.

I think he must have been saving himself for science.

Who are you saving yourself for, Gary?

Kate, I've told you, I'm a happily... Happily married man, yes, I know. Look,

come on, Gary, you plied me with wine. Did I resist a good plying? Did I say no

to that second bottle?

Well, no. Well, quite.

Then you bring me here to this strange little museum that's not even on the

tourist map. Do I complain?

Do I even ask what I'm doing here in this strange little

place?

There's an outside, too, I'll show you.

Wonderful.

I'm just what is out there.

Scale model of the Art Royal.

Replica plan of the trenches at Stalingrad.

Impress me, Gary.

See?

Oh, yes.

Fabulous.

Gary? Huh?

Do you like it out here?

Love it.

Absolutely love it. Always have.

OK. OK, whatever, I can get into that.

No, Kate, when I said I love it out here, I meant the... It's all right,

used to have a boyfriend who liked it outdoors. If I wasn't frozen to death on

Hampstead Heath, I was bitten to death on Primrose Hill.

Do you think you'll be comfortable here, or do you think perhaps you might try

over there?

Gary?

You should take a few deep breaths and then we'll get you back inside.

I said you've been working too hard.

Loss of vision, that is a typical stress symptom.

Really? Oh, yes.

We shouldn't have had that second bottle, should we? I mean, that's what

isn't it?

Well, I don't know.

Have you ever had this with booze before?

No.

Gary, would you walk me home?

Sure, no problem.

In fact, I need to pick something up.

Oh.

Yeah, yeah, no problem.

Just what the hell is going on? Ah, Mrs.

Flanagan. D .S. Bruce, Subscene Publications.

James? Yeah, publications, that's right. But we do sell videos and... Sorry,

it's just a joke.

Is this a raid?

This, as you quite rightly observe, sir, is a raid.

And apart from the dirty stuff, we also found one of your employees knocking out

these. Calvin Klein, Givenchy.

Oh, great.

So obviously we'll be looking for a statement.

Obviously. So it's just these two, then?

Just these two. Isn't that enough?

Well, apart from this weird loser.

Fancies himself as a bit of a forger.

Trouble is, he's about 50 years behind the times.

You didn't even send me a solicitor.

You didn't need one. White fibres aren't illegal.

Bit of a grey area there, Gary.

They're not happy with me.

Anyway, after an hour, I decided to tell them the truth.

What truth?

I told them that they were for a friend of mine who goes time travelling and is

a bit short in 1944.

And they let you go?

Provisionally. Well, fine.

Not really. I've got to go back next Wednesday and see their psychiatrist.

Is that it?

Well, what else can I say?

How about how many oceans of lager do I owe you now, Ron?

You know, the only good thing to come out of this week is Yvonne's bet.

At least I've got 100 quid of beer money in me back pocket.

What?

You forgot to put the bet on, didn't you?

I can't wait to hear what Yvonne has to say about that.

Are you kidding? I can't admit it. She'll think I'm a total waste of space.

Then you'll have to make good the bet out of your own money.

Guess who's just pulled up?

I'm staying here.

I can't wait to hear how many different kinds of prat you are.

Hold on, hold on. They're both one?

Five to one and two to one. Five to one, two to one. So that's 50 quid on each,

so that's 250.

Leave it to me, Gary.

Bonjour, Madame Sparrow. How did Paris treat you? Better than Newmarket.

Gary, here's your tequila. Ron, here's your chocolate mint liqueur. I don't

chocolate mint liqueur. Neither do I.

But I did buy you 25 Havana cigars. You know, the big ones, like Vincent

Churchill used to smoke. Are you kidding?

That's right, I'm kidding.

Gary, what about my tips, eh?

Yeah, what about them?

You did back them.

Yvonne, would I let you down?

We were just on our way to pick up your winnings. Just on our way. It's amazing.

I've never even won a raffle before and the first one came in at five to one.

Oh, Gary did much better than that, didn't you?

Did I?

Modesty, Gary.

You'd have been proud of him, Yvonne. Your clever husband got you eight to

That means you've won me 400 pounds.

That's right.

Gary, you're a genius!

Thanks. He should have seen what he did with that second horse.

You probably thought it was two -to -one favourite, but you should have seen him

in and out of every betting shop on the Mile End Road.

I'll tell this, Ron. Would he settle for two -to -one? No, he would not. Not

even three -to -one. Wrong.

Four -to -one, Yvonne, would you believe that?

Four -to -one, that's £200. That's £600. There you're coming on, love.

Big treat in store for you when you come home.

You bastard.

You just cost me 600 quid. I was just trying to cover for your inadequacies.

Sorry if I overcompensated.

I have to cough up 600 quid. My wife is a millionaire and I have to give her 600

pounds. Don't worry about it, Gary.

The police gave me these back. Your white fibres. Don't bother to count it.

There's 600 pounds there.

Don't you just love irony?

Good night, sweetheart.

Sleep will banish sorrow.

Good night, sweetheart,

till we meet tomorrow.