Original subtitles

Good night, sweetheart.

All my prayers are for you.

Good night, sweetheart.

I'll be watching all you.

Tears and parting may make us alone.

But with the dawn, a new day is born.

This is dockside living, eh?

This is a skinner's yard, you know.

Skins and pelts used to be stored in here. No, Gary, fruit.

It is called citrus wharf.

Ron, I came here in 1941.

There were ropey old skins hanging everywhere and there's a big pile of

carcasses down that end. No, Gary.

Oranges and lemons, Gary.

This place has had oranges and lemons in it since it was built.

Noel Gwynne had a discount card here, the estate agent told me.

All right.

Still, I do have plenty of space here.

I know, it's great, isn't it? Costs me a lot of money, this space.

And do you know what I'm going to do with it?

Check by check, direct debit by direct debit, I am going to fill it up. There

will be black goods as far as the eye can see. A vast array, shiny and black,

their digital displays all flashing in unison, all voice -sensitive, awaiting

every command.

Can't you just see it?

Hmm. Sort of ideal home exhibition meets the Nuremberg rally.

Just pop them down there with the others.

I shall introduce them to the National Grid later.

You're just a bit OTT.

I mean, your motives are a bit dodgy.

Kindly leave my motives out of this.

Who knows why people do things?

Look at Marconi. Struggled for years to get his crystal set to work.

Maybe he only did it to get on the front cover of the Radio Times. Who knows?

Yeah, all this aggro with Stella.

Is it really that bad?

Things are so serious that even my solicitor has started to tell me the

Stella is going to get half of the lot, which is why I am making sure that the

lot is actually very little.

It's all I had to worry about, filling up space.

What poor Yvonne to think about.

I never realised that having a miscarriage could be so traumatic for a

It feels like this is the first time she's really needed me.

Well, you know Yvonne, she's always been so strong, so...

Well, so bossy.

Assertive, Ron.

Assertive. But these last four weeks have been so up and down, so fragile

well, feminine, I suppose. It's brought us closer together.

I really want to be supportive, you know?

I've told her, I am there for you.

Well, all right, I am here for you.

Well, all right. You're in the same time zone. I mean... Hold on, she's a lucky

girl. Yeah, well, it hasn't been easy, Ron.

I told you about all these alternative remedies she's into.

I've had four weeks of homeopathy, aromatherapy, medicinal herbs.

When was the last time you had a three -hour conversation about wood sorrel?

Think of it as an education.

Come the new age, you'll be able to nibble your way safely across the

of England.

Ah, I just need a break from it, you know.

I need to go back and see Phoebe. I haven't been back in over a week.

I've got the wedding to arrange.

I've got all the gifts.

Ron, are you listening?

No, sorry.

My attention span has gone digital. Have you seen the shopping channel, Gary?

You can buy absolutely anything off the telly. What,

even that bird wearing the necklace? Is there a price limit?

That's a good idea.

You wouldn't think that in these days of filthy chat lines and porn on the

internet that the BBC would be more enterprising.

You should be able to book a night with Judith Chalmers.

Or ten minutes with Esther Ranson, whichever feels the longest.

Well, I'd better get back to Yvonne.

I'll see you later. Yeah, see you.

Watch out for those boxes by the lift.

Don't worry, they're still all under warranty.

There you go.

There's your aloe vera.

And there's my aloe Gary. Get this down your neck.

It's amazing how many therapies are available. Look.

Polarity therapy, creative visualisation, rebirthing. I just read

who's just had a shamanic experience in their own kitchen.

So is them right for leaving their back door open?

Right, it's just one big joke to you, isn't it? No, of course not.

I'm just a bit worried about all this different stuff you're taking.

I mean, surely some of these cancel each other out.

If you have...

Cat's claw followed by devil's claw. Which one wins?

Who do you ask?

Well, this is it. There are loads of courses to go on. Whole weekends of

personal development and healing.

Look, Nutwood Manor, Rainbow Lodge. Yeah, I know. I've seen it.

West Country must be full of badly drawn hotels offering therapy.

Yes, and they're all sympathetically converted and sensitively restored.

So? Well, sensitively restored? Where do you find a builder like that?

On a course at the hotel up the road.

Have you noticed they're all in the West Country?

Every weekend, Dorset must fill up with therapists.

That must be the Friday traffic problem.

Tailbacks of therapists on the M4.

Or getting into a state and having to talk each other through it.

No, whatever makes you feel better. I just want us to get it right.

So, how long is the sick leave, then?

Oh, and it's amazing what you can buy.

Look, Lake Clammer's blue -green algae.

They'll send it through the post.

Is that an offer or a threat?

Yvonne, you didn't answer the question.

I suppose I should have told you, really, Gary.

This isn't exactly sick leave.

This is more than that.

What? Very sick leave?

This is not so much leave as left.

The world of big business and I have parted company.

What?

You've resigned just like that?

What about your career?

What about my health and my sanity, Gary? I am not going back to that level

stress. That's how he lost the baby.

Don't worry, they gave me a lump sum to speed me exits.

A lump sum?

Yeah?

How, um, how lumpy?

It'll get it through until something different comes along.

I just have to find another way to live, Gary.

Another way to love.

And no, I don't mean on the kitchen table dressed up in a nurse's uniform.

Ah, shame.

I was looking for a spot of therapy myself.

I'll sort you out when I've sorted myself out.

Promise? Oh, I'm sorry.

Little pants. I just need some sort of, I don't know, piece or something.

I was looking at this.

Enjoy a healing weekend.

Aromatherapy, massage, basic meditation, all available at Wildwood Manor.

Well, it's certainly better drawn than some of the others.

It's just three or four days away.

Yes. Well, I mean, there's no rush. Yes, there is.

No, I mean, you know, strike while the iron's hot. Go for it while it's there.

Right, I'll give him a ring.

Eh, you're dead sexy when you're positive.

What lit you up? Was it the bit about the lump song?

No, it was the bit about the nurse's uniform on the kitchen table.

It's all right for you, Phoebe. You're used to being talked about.

Oh? And just what do you mean by that, Reg Dedman?

Oh, you know, when Gary comes calling.

When Gary comes calling.

And when's that, I wonder? I haven't seen him in over a week.

We've got this new sergeant up the station.

He's a real... Martinette.

I'd hate for him to hear about me and Margie. He likes all his officers to be

properly married.

You are married.

Yeah, but not to the woman I'm living with.

Little technicalities like that he gets upset about.

Surely he's the man of the world.

Oh, yeah, just not the same world as mine.

He's quite definite about that. He says, I live in a world of me own.

Aren't you the chap who used to come calling? The one who said he'd marry me,

proper, in a church?

The one who missed the appointment with the vicar yesterday without even a call

or a note to say why?

Phoebe, I'm really sorry.

You always are, Gary.

Doesn't stop it happening, does it?

Well, the department sent me somewhere. I can't say where, obviously, but I

brought you this.

Tulips? In July?

Where did they send you, the moon?

Well, Adam and...

Have these.

And this.

And this.

These.

See, I was thinking about you. I did feel guilty.

Guilty as hell, by the look of it.

Probably buy yourself off a murder charge with this lot. Maybe.

But that doesn't get him into my good book. Not just like that. For instance,

have the invitations been sent?

No, they have not.

Have the bans been posted?

Yes, they have.

Somebody stayed awake.

What about the best man?

Up. Yeah, Malcolm was posted.

Who's Malcolm?

He's the bloke I asked to be the best man. Oh, great chap, salt of the earth.

Anyway, he agreed, dead keen, dying to do it. Then what happens?

Posted to North Africa.

That's a bit of bad luck.

Bad luck?

This wedding is jinxed. That's the fourth best man we've had posted.

Anyway, Saturday.

Saturday? Saturday at 12, all saints.

We've got to sit down and talk with the vicar about all it needs doing.

And this time, Gary Sparrow, you'd better be there.

Or else.

Oh, Happy New Year.

Well, surely it wasn't this year I'd send you out for vitamins, was it?

Where is your head?

I'm sorry.

Doesn't seem to matter where it is. It still gets done in.

Yvonne, you don't understand. I've got a million and one things to think about.

Yeah, like what?

Well, there's the... Beta -carotene.

And allo...

Exactly. And stock.

What? Stock.

I'm stock -taking.

Well, I thought I had to under the circumstances. You know, you're not

and all that.

They just got on top of me. I know I shouldn't let it. I'm sorry.

I expect you'll be needing a break, too.

Oh, right.

So this weekend will do us both good.

Right, right.

What weekend?

This weekend? You said book it the healing weekend.

What, for both of us?

Well, you didn't think you were going to pat me off into the country and forget

about me.

No, no, no, no, of course not.

But we are talking about this Saturday, are we?

Yes, and a little bit either side of Saturday.

That is what we call a weekend.

Here is one I booked earlier.

No, no, no, Yvonne, look, not this weekend.

I can't go this weekend.

I'm... Stop taking.

Yvonne, look. No, no, you look, Gary.

I am trying to get over a traumatic experience, trying to find a balance

myself. All I'm asking for is some support.

I know, I know.

But you did drop a bit of a bombshell yesterday.

OK, so you've left Sim Young with some money, but the price of aloe vera, how

long's that going to last?

The shop is the only ongoing thing we have.

I have to stop and take stock, literally.

I understand.

I'm just not feeling very worldly at the moment, Gary.

I'll have to leave all the material stuff to you.

Well, you do just that. And relax.

We can grab a weekend away another time.

Any time you like.

You'd better be at the shop this weekend.

Right.

And I suppose if it's that important to us, I'd better be there with you.

Right.

Thanks.

Is this really a German sandwich tin?

Yeah. You just never hear about Hitler's lunchbox.

It's not very big, is it?

No.

In fact, there was a song about it.

Look, you needn't be bothered with all this.

It's materialism, and you've got to get away from all that. You said so

yourself. Let me call your cab.

Really? You don't mind?

Well, of course I don't.

No, no, it's all right. I said I'd be here to help.

Stop taking again!

He always says that because he thinks the place looks untidy.

So what's new?

I have to be at Old Saints Church by 12.

Then you only have 20 minutes to get to 1942 starting from now. Tick, tick,

tick, tick. It's no joke, Ron. Phoebe will go ballistic.

So what's with the boys' club?

Oh, you know, us just swapping cigarette cards and condoms.

Well, must be about time for a coffee and a sandwich.

Would you like to do the honours, love?

Since when has going for a sandwich been an honour?

Well, it really is a nice little sandwich bar.

You'll like it.

Isn't that the one next door to the Chinese herbalist? The one that does all

those alternative remedies?

Um, yes, I think it is.

Right, I might take a look in there.

And if you're lucky, I'll grab you a sarnie on the way back.

Right, I have got 15 minutes to get that cover for me.

Certainly, no problem.

He was beamed up, Yvonne.

The Ministry of Defence will deny it, but lights were seen in the sky.

He finally dematerialised over there by the sheet music.

His last words were, Ron, I bequeath you my sarnie.

Just tell her the phone rang, I had to dash off and do a big deal. A big deal?

For God's sake, Ron, I have to meet the vicar.

Big deal.

Tongue's a -wagging, Phoebe.

The whole neighbourhood's talking about me and Margie.

Be philosophical, Reg.

While they're talking about you, they're leaving everybody else alone.

Yeah, but my sergeant will find out sooner or later, and he won't approve,

Phoebe. He really won't.

You see, I didn't mention this before, but, well, to be quite frank, he's

Scottish.

Well, you know what they're like.

Everything's hanky -panky to him.

He doesn't really approve of dominoes.

He says all that knocking gets people overexcited.

Ah, sorry.

Sorry, Hamlet.

Got stuck in town.

Piccadilly is so full of Americans, it's unbelievable.

Shaftesbury Avenue is like the Wild West End.

That's what I heard. A friend of mine says he saw a yank itching his horse to

lamppost in Curzon Street.

Yeah, well, it's not quite that bad, Reg.

So, made it into titbits yet?

Don't do that to him, Gary. He's got enough on his plate.

Don't you worry, Reg. We'll stand by you. I know, Phoebe.

Mrs Bloss has been very good too.

Covered for us a treat she has.

She's a wonderful liar, Phoebe. So is Mrs Bennet from next door.

Amazing. I never knew how many fantastic liars there are around here. Been a

real eye -opener to me.

Makes me wonder if anyone's ever told me the truth.

So, Reg, why doesn't Margie just start calling herself Margie Deadman?

Well, that wouldn't be quite right, would it?

All right, Margie Deadwoman.

Gary, sometimes your sense of humour does you no credit at all.

His sense of occasion isn't much better. We've got a wedding coming up that's

looking more like a funeral every day.

Well, it is a wartime wedding, Phoebe. You're not kidding.

It's got bliss written all over it.

It'll be just us three and the vicar.

Well, I just hope it's in the blackout so I can't see it.

Oh, come on, it's not that bad.

Isn't it?

Convince me, Gary.

Tell me our fifth best man hasn't been posted, deported or shot down over

Morecambe.

Morecambe's on our side, Phoebe.

It's foreign client to me, Gary Sparrow.

But what are you thinking of? I'm doing everything else. The flowers, the

reception back here.

What about the best man?

What? Best man!

Can't you ask one of your fellow spies?

No.

Um, no, sorry, it's not possible.

No? Why not?

Yeah, why not, Gary?

Um, well, because my department is the opposite of Reggie's, you see. His boss

wants them all happily married and my boss wants us all single.

What? Well, it's high -risk missions, Phoebe.

Doesn't want too many widows and bereaved people to have to write to.

So, he wants you all single.

Mm.

But... Oh, uh... Aha!

No, I bet I know what you thought. No, no, no, no. No, that's only until you've

been with the department for five years, you see. And I joined in 19... 1936.

So, no problem.

Right, come on then.

Let's go and meet the vicar.

Really looking forward to seeing him again. Really?

That makes one of us.

We have the date and time confirmed. Will you require the use of the church

hall? No. Will you need the lady chapel?

No. Will you want full choir, half choir or soloist? No.

Flowers on the old floor.

Flowers on the altar or flowers down the aisles? Both. Candles on the altar or

candles on the tithe?

Uh, part.

Neither. Will you choose a hit or shall I? We will.

Any further... I've started so I'll finish.

Any further donations other than the stated fees will be greatly accepted.

Any questions?

Yeah, how many points have we got so far, Magnus?

Um,

nothing.

My next appointment... Excuse me.

That was a farce from beginning to end.

I think it was a fugue from beginning to end.

If you don't want to marry me, just say so.

You don't have to sabotage the wedding.

Phoebe, you know what I want.

I want it to be you and me married properly.

Then why aren't you helping?

Why is everything down to me?

And still no best man?

At this rate, Gary Sparrow, I won't be wanting any man at all.

Phoebe, we...

Women. They just do your head in, don't they?

They must learn it at school.

Ah, it's domestic science, isn't it?

How to poach an egg and how to scramble a bloke's brains.

I never understood the way I can... Reg. Reg!

Gary, don't do that.

My war could have been over just like that.

I could have been the enemy then, Reg.

With you as a lookout, the entire Panzer Division could have wandered in through

the snog and drunk us dry.

It is no joking matter, Gary. Do you know who I just saw in that doorway over

there? Um, Ingrid Bergman and Humphrey Bogart having a snog. No.

My sergeant.

Snogging Ingrid Bergman? No.

Not snogging Humphrey Bogart.

This is serious, Gary.

My career on the force ruined by scandal. I had an unblemished record,

yeah. Totally unblemished, Reg. No rest.

No cautions, no court appearances, nothing.

I was round Mrs Blossard earlier, pretending to be counting out all the...

net is closing in, Gary. What do you reckon?

Yeah. Yeah, I reckon the net is closing in, Reg. Have I got problems, Gary?

Haven't we all, Reg?

Haven't we all?

I really don't know who to turn to.

Yeah? Well, try Phoebe.

She seems to know what everyone should be doing.

Where are you, Gary Sparrow? Where are you when your woman lays down her

weekend for your stop -taking?

Well, when you walk through that door, you will not know what's hit you.

Come on, Gary, make my day.

Yvonne, I can no longer stand by and watch you become stressed like this.

Bloody revenge is no substitute for meditation.

Come, sit down, try some alternative breathing. What's that?

It's using alternate lungs.

Watch me.

Better still, put your head between your legs and think lungs.

Left lung in, one, two.

Out, one, two.

Right lung in, one, two.

Out, one, two.

Goodness me, it's Gary.

Are you all right?

No. Tell me, Gary, what was this business that was so important?

Huh?

Oh, just bits and pieces.

Bits and...

Well, thank you very much. For the moment. Bits and pieces for the moment.

Look. See?

I've got more of these to follow.

Oh, thanks, Parish Magazine.

We have more of these.

Really? Do you know, I feel quite giddy.

It's like winning the lottery, isn't it?

Give me one good reason why I shouldn't strangle you.

It's illegal.

It's a lot harder than it looks on the telly and it takes longer.

Sometimes you are the...

It's women.

There's just no making them happy, is there?

Ever tried.

It's not exactly your forte making people happy, is it, Gary?

You're hardly the clown prince of time travel, the cheerful Charlie Chester of

the... Yeah, all right, all right.

I had high hopes for you, Gary.

New Year's honours list, 1944.

shaking hands with Winston Churchill, shaking a leg with Ginger Rogers.

But you are not even coping with the basics, are you?

Ron, I'm doing the best I can.

You probably are, but your best isn't good enough, is it?

And this from a man getting over a broken marriage?

Thank you.

If you're not careful, you'll be getting over two broken marriages.

Yvonne's right.

Sometimes you can be the pits.

Ron, I'm sorry.

I just think I've hit rock bottom, mate.

I mean, going back in time used to be the great escape, but now I... I don't

know.

It's a time -travelling complaint.

You're just having a bad era.

I'm just not coping.

I'm not supporting Yvonne. I'm letting Phoebe down at every turn. I even walked

out on Reg, leaving him in a mess.

What do I do?

Positive thinking, Gary.

Positive thinking.

We are bigger than any single thing that can happen to us.

Think about that.

Meditate upon it.

You've got to search for the hero inside yourself.

Ron. Gary, it's time travel.

Only you can do it.

You've just stopped enjoying it, that's all.

If you don't love it, you can't be good at it.

Remember the buzz.

Start enjoying it again.

Then it'll all become a doddle.

You're right.

You are dead right.

What do you know?

I'm not a bag of wind.

I'm a therapist.

As you know, Mrs Bamford, I am a tolerant and broad -minded man.

Most Scots people are.

Well, quite, quite.

So a policeman serving drinks behind a bar, I can turn the blind eye to.

After all, there are women driving trams now.

Though where they'll end up driving them to, God only knows.

It's a war on, Sergeant. We're all behaving different.

Some of us are not behaving at all, Mrs Bamford.

Policemen in pubs is one thing.

But a policeman sharing rooms with females of the opposite gender?

Dear me, no.

Ah, Sergeant, there you are. I've just been down to the station looking for

And who might you be, sir?

Got the picture?

Do you mind if I take these down to the station, sir? Just a check.

Oh, there's no point, Sergeant. They'll self -destruct before you get past the

chip shop.

Now, I know I should have let you in on this earlier. I can see that you're a

man of substance.

Scottish substance, sir. Scottish substance.

Nothing gets by me.

Except on Buns Night.

It's not Buns Night, Mr Sparrow.

No.

This woman, Margie, who's living with Mrs Bloth and Constable Dedman. Now, I

realise how it must look to the outside world.

Disgusting. Well, that's right.

Very un -Scottish. What?

Quite.

The fact is, she's under house arrest.

I can't go into details, obviously, but I have assigned Constable Dedman to

guard her.

Good God!

We think he's the best man for the job.

Oh, I see.

She's supposed to escape.

It's a little more subtle than that. You see, um... It's Margie's contact we're

actually after.

We're hoping to worry him enough to make him break cover.

I see. Then we grab him.

It's a little more subtle than that.

It is?

I'm afraid you're losing me, sir.

Well, never mind, Sergeant. Why don't you just leave it all with us, eh?

Oh, and if you do hear of any more gossip, perhaps you could put a stop to

Oh, indeed, sir. Indeed.

You can rely on me, sir.

Good day to you, sir.

Good day, Scottish substance.

It's a cake.

Jerry Sparrow, what a story.

How do you think of him?

Practice, Reg, practice.

Well, at least you made somebody happy today.

Look, Phoebe, I realise I haven't been concentrating on the wedding.

And I know that the word sorry seems to be getting a bit worn out, but believe

me, I love you as much as I ever did.

I want our wedding to be the loveliest, most memorable day of your life.

Well, that's why I've come back, to give you my decision about the best man.

So, who is it?

Who's it going to be?

Well, this is a wartime wedding, Phoebe, so I want our best man to be important.

Well, symbolic, even.

So, it's not going to be any old friend or workmate for us, Phoebe. Oh, no,

better than that.

He will be a soldier, or a sailor, or an airman.

Phoebe, we will have the best, best man of all. A British fighting man.

Bravo, Gary.

Bravo. Oh, I see. Wonderful.

I'll be standing at the altar and you'll be out on the street trying to pick up

a sailor.

Good night, sweetheart.

Sleep will banish sorrow.

Good night, sweetheart.

Till we meet tomorrow.

Sweetheart.