Original subtitles

Good night, sweetheart.

All my prayers are for you.

Good night, sweetheart.

I'll be watching over you.

Tears and parting may make us alone.

But with the coming,

a new day is born.

an evening standard.

Listen to this. Interior designer at the Evertier in North West Halstead.

That's true.

Well, you've got to be creative to sell a house these days. I mean, nobody wants

to live in Cricklewood, do they?

Well, why don't you go the whole hog, eh?

Incredibly spacious Manhattan -style warehouse apartment with swimming pool,

tennis court and rare species aviary.

Five minutes from do -it -all.

Well, we've got to sell the house somehow, otherwise we'll lose Maple

Yeah, looking on the bright side. Oh, never mind.

Come to bed.

Why? Because it's bedtime and you're not the bat.

Do you know what day it is today, Gary?

Yes, what is it? I didn't mean that.

Well, it's not Ascension Day because that was the Thursday before last. And

not the Islamic New Year because that's the Friday after next.

Is it the Queen Mother's official birthday? God bless her.

No, it is the most fertile day of my cycle.

Really?

Well, that wasn't in my Let's Boy Scout diary.

You know, I've got a good mind to dash off an angry diatribe to the editor.

want to have a baby?

I'm not really that hungry.

Get your shorts off and get into bed.

Where did you learn your foreplay technique? Well,

don't you like it when I take the initiative?

Yeah, sometimes.

Just, well, I don't really feel like it tonight.

What? You don't feel like it or you're not up to it?

Well, same thing.

No, it's not the same thing, Gary. One is a matter of preference. The other is

matter of sexual dysfunction.

Look, I don't need this pressure, Yvonne.

What pressure? Oh, come on, you know. I mean, moving house, having a baby,

trying to hold down a demanding job in the remorseless world of television

repair. Oh, look, I know it may not be an ideal time, but if we wait until we

can afford for me to give up work, we'll never have a family.

Pressure, pressure.

Oh, Gary, don't get yourself into a state.

Look, Yvonne.

Gary. Look, I'm sorry, but not to put too fine a point on it, I... I can't put

too fine a point on it, OK?

Have you seen the price of disposable

nappies? I was checking out mother care the other day.

I see.

So you reckon it's the cost of what our transatlantic cousins call, for some

unknown reason, diapers, that you rendered incapable of satisfying your

Of course not. It's just that... Well, since Yvonne started going on about

babies, I haven't felt a thing south of the naval.

Yvonne, have you observed the two comely wenches in yonder kayak?

Not really.

Oh, if I was 15 years younger.

I'm 50 pounds lighter.

Hang about, we're in here, pal.

What are you talking about?

I knew it! I've seen it all before!

I'm trying to pick them up!

Oh, don't be so naive.

The blonde one wrote for England in the cocksless pairs.

Oh, maybe I shall.

Have you seen a doctor?

No, you're joking. Why?

Well, it could be physical.

Well, how would they find out?

They observe you in bed.

What, you mean while me and Phoebe are actually... No.

While you're a kip.

They wire up the recalcitrant appendage just before you go to sleep. Oh,

natural, of course.

And then they video you through the night.

And if you get excited in your dreams, they know it's just psychological.

Under those circumstances, I'd be lucky if I could raise a smile.

You're a scientist.

It's in the strictest confidence.

So how come you know all about it, then?

I had a cousin who used to work in one of those clinics.

He brought this video round once. Didn't we have a laugh?

He got the sack.

Well, thanks for all your friendly advice, Ronald.

Been completely useless, as usual.

Hang on.

What? Do you know what you just said?

Yes, what?

You said, when Phoebe and I... No, I didn't.

Did I?

That's your problem.

Your head said, I love Yvonne.

But your loins are growling.

Where's that Phoebe?

You've got to go back and see her.

If you get a reaction, then you'll know for sure there's nothing physically

wrong with you, wouldn't you?

That would confuse things even more.

It doesn't matter.

You've got no choice.

It's your destiny.

You can't close the book until you've finished the story.

Same for me.

I'm sorry Gary wasn't here.

It's usually home by six.

We're including the curtains and the carpets in the asking price, by the way.

Really? Lost you?

Whose car is it?

I forgot. I'm sorry.

Obviously. I'm Gary.

Frederick. Joe.

You promised you'd be home by six, Gary.

Yeah, I'm sorry. I had a really important meeting.

Television repairmen don't have meetings.

They have wives that show them up in front of strangers, don't they?

Where were you, really?

I went to see Ron. I wanted to ask his advice.

Honestly, you spend more time with Ron than you do with me.

Are you sure you two aren't having an affair?

Joe, let's pop up to the spare room.

There's something I need to measure.

They seem really nice. Yes, of course they're nice. Why shouldn't they be

Do you think they're serious clients?

Oh, well, the question is, are we serious sellers?

What do you mean?

Well, I mean, do we really want a bigger house and a bigger mortgage and a baby?

Well, isn't this exactly what I've been saying? After all, we're happy here.

Happy? I'm not sure if we're even compatible.

And what exactly is that?

Are we intruding?

No, no. No, no, I've just got to pop to the kitchen. I've got something in the

oven.

Lovely. So, what do you think of the house? Oh, it's very, um, compact, to

the least. But nice.

Nice atmosphere.

I wouldn't say that at the moment.

Though we do think we've spotted a small damp patch in the bedroom.

Ha!

You've got some fantastic blues records.

Yeah, yeah, thanks.

Oh, look.

Robert Pete Williams, free again.

Well, I was listening to it last night. It's on the turntable. I put it on.

Yeah? Yeah. Oh, great.

It's the Prestige Bluesville reissue.

I had the original Bluesway recording.

Yeah. Until Joe put a hot iron on it. Oh, no.

Didn't it? Yeah.

Harry!

Why are you always inflicting your taste on other people?

Inflicting? This is fantastic.

Yvonne?

Do you, uh...

Play at all, Gary?

Well, I dabble, you know, a bit of piano, harmonica.

Yeah? Well, I play bottleneck steel guitar.

Yeah? Yeah.

Maybe we should get together and have a jam. Yeah, brilliant.

Yeah,

well, thanks for showing us around. It's really nice. Could be really nice.

We'll have a little think and we'll be in touch. Maybe.

Well, I'll see you on.

And listen, give us a ring about the jam session.

I mean, it doesn't matter if you hate the house. Great, let's do it. All

Thanks, then. Bye.

They're really great guys.

Especially that Frederick.

Now, where did I put my mouth organ?

You know they're gay, don't you? The last time I saw it, it was... You know,

they're gay.

They're a couple.

An item.

Don't be stupid.

Fred plays bottleneck steel guitar.

He'd be gay.

Well, didn't you notice that Joe had a small pink triangle on his jacket?

Yeah, so?

What's that signify?

Oh, you saw gauche, Gary.

The pink triangle is a sign of gay pride.

You know, like mother's pride, but we're now taken out.

So isn't it interesting, eh, that a mutual attraction should spring up

you and that Frederick?

Yvonne, that's not funny.

No, it's nothing to be ashamed of, Gary. It's a well -known fact that up to 20 %

of married men are bisexual.

And that's nearly as many as vote Liberal Democrat.

What, so just because I voted Liberal Democrat... Well, it could explain your

difficulties on the procreative front.

Hey, I've never had any trouble before, have I?

All right, I may not have scored many sixes for artistic content, but I always

got good marks for technical merit. Yeah, but before it was just for fun.

it comes down to the creation of a new life, the continuance of humankind.

I've had enough of this. I'm going out.

Well, what about dinner?

I'll get a Big Mac.

Oh, well, if you get caught for flashing, don't come running after me.

How much?

Five and a ten a lot.

What? Well, that's daylight robbery.

It is silk, love.

Oh, I wasn't born yesterday. It was rayon and it's cheap rayon into the

I'll give you five and six for it. Oi, I didn't say I didn't want it, did I?

Maybe.

Better have it.

You are turning into a regular bad penny, aren't you?

Why aren't you in America filming your My Fair Lady?

Well, because by the time I got back there, they decided to drop my film

altogether.

They're only making war movies now. It's ironic, isn't it?

Mm -hm.

That's why you're always coming round here anyway.

Well, I don't know.

To see you, maybe? Well,

maybe you don't have a home to go to.

As it happens, I don't.

I got bombed out while I was away.

Oh, Gary, really?

Yeah. A bit more Bechstein to smithereens.

Oh, that's awful.

Did it suffer?

No, Beckstein's a grand piano.

Oh.

Oh, yeah.

I thought he was one of them sausage dogs.

Oh, that's a dachshund.

And they're German, so they've all been interned in special alien dog camps on

the Isle of Man.

You don't take anything serious, do you?

Where are you staying?

You know, find somewhere, I suppose.

Yeah, because you're not short of a bob or two.

I expect you'll have your usual sweet at the Savoy, won't you?

Somewhere to entertain the ladies, eh?

Yeah, I just got me by on that lad.

And the clothes were actually in Rita Crickle, weren't they?

Well, it was because of...

What's this?

Well, open it and see.

This is lovely paper, Gary.

Oh.

It's silk.

And not from a parachute, either.

Oh, it's gorgeous.

Look at you.

The cat who got the cream.

I know how your mind works, Gary Sparrow.

Come and go as you please, bring her a present, she'll be patty in your hands.

Well, you don't turn my head that easily.

What can I get you brave boys?

Gary, I order conquering hero comes, eh?

I'd like to know what's so heroic about writing stupid songs.

You never used to think my songs were stupid, Phoebe. You used to love them.

Well, since Dad died, I've done a lot of thinking.

And there's a war on.

And we've got to win it. And everyone has to pull their weight, not muck about

writing tunes.

Oh, come on, Phoebe, that's not very fair.

Where would our morale be without one of Gary's little songs?

I can't get no satisfaction.

There are plenty of good songs from before the war. It's folders we need,

land, Lizard.

Well, you won't want to hear my latest one, then.

I wrote it for you.

I've heard it all before.

It's called If You Leave Me Now.

Do me a favour.

Well, I'd like to hear it, Sam.

Oh, go on, then.

If you leave me now, you'll take away the biggest part of me.

What exactly do you mean by the biggest part of you?

Don't ask.

So, how long has Rudolph Valentino been a regular?

Oh, his name's Ludo. You know, like the board game.

Looks like he's already thrown a six to start.

Where's he from?

I don't know, but he's definitely foreign.

Polish or Welsh or something.

Supposed to be a real war hero.

As opposed to myself, eh? The lily -livered lyricist.

He's been coming in here every day the last fortnight, making a right fuss of

her. She says he reminds her of her dad.

She didn't like her dad. Not when he was alive.

Now he's dead, she's changed her mind.

Women, eh?

They tell you they've got a headache, then you come home early, find them

rolling all over the line, over half the Canadian Air Force.

Still, you don't want to wear my troubles.

Excuse me.

Yes? I'd like a scotch, please.

Oh, what the hell?

Drinks all round.

Great. Come and give us a hand.

Rockefeller's just pushed the boat out.

You based round here?

I do not think that we've been introduced.

I am a stickler for the English knife at this.

Gary Sparrow.

An introduction needs to be made by a third party.

Phoebe, my dear, if you'd be so kind.

Gary Lido, Leader Gary.

So, are you based round here, if you don't mind my asking? Naturally, I

tell you that.

You're not even in uniform.

Why not, may I ask?

Well, naturally, I cannot tell you that.

Except to say the work I'm engaged in requires strict secrecy and a very high

degree of intelligence, if you get my drift.

Intelligence? I see.

Forgive me, I thought you were the Gary I'd heard about, the long streak of

dishwater who writes songs.

Oh, no, Ludo.

There's more to young Gary than meets the eye.

I certainly hope so.

He knows things, you see.

He knew when a king was going to visit round here. He knew when the heaviest

raids were due.

Thanks, Reg.

Just because I don't flaunt my connections.

Oi! Ladies present.

Very well. I am happy to accept that, contrary to appearances, you are vital

our war effort.

Phoebe, my dear.

It is such a lovely evening.

Would you like to go for a walk?

Oh, I'd love to, Ludo.

Because I have a little proposition that I would like to put to you.

I'll bet.

I'll just go inside and change.

So then I suggested that maybe he was suppressing the feminine side of his

nature. Well, of course, it was a wind -up, really.

And then he stormed out.

And I thought, you know, when he'd cool down a bit, we might be in for a night

of raunch.

And then I realised he's taken my best silk blouse.

Oh, will you? Pack it in with that miserable wiley.

You see? You see that, Rach?

She has started to criticise the little things I do.

I always love a boy, then.

He's just gone back to his lodgings.

He'll be back in a minute with something he wants to show me.

Look, Phoebe, if I'm surplus to requirements, if I'm not wanted on

you want me to sling my hook... Well, why don't you? Why do you keep coming

here? Because I love you.

I wish you hadn't said that.

Don't you feel anything for me any more?

I'd be lying if I said I didn't.

Well, then.

How can I rely on you?

You're here, you're not here. You're a spy, you're a songwriter, you're

divorced, you're married.

But there's no one else.

You're the only one I can... With other women, there's no... Gary, what are you

talking about?

Look, look.

A man and a woman get together, and before anything can happen, something

happen.

And when I'm with you...

I only have to look at you and things happen. You know, even when nothing's

happening, something happens.

But with other women, even when everything's happening, nothing happens.

Oh, Gary, I'm sure that happens to every man at some time in his life.

Never happened to me.

Well, aren't you the lucky one, eh? Oh, no, Phoebe, don't go.

I've got something for you.

Sit down.

Tea? Coffee, sugar, butter, biscuits and steak.

All from the United States of America.

Real steak.

Um, what does this mean?

Uh, best before 2694.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's, um, yes, that's a code.

From the American Army cookbook, you see, written by Colonel...

What you have to do is you turn to chapter 20, section 6, recipe 94, and

be for afters, like strawberry shortcake. So that means it's best

strawberry shortcake. Because you wouldn't want steak after strawberry

shortcake, would you?

I'd eat steak after anything. I can't remember the last time I had meat that

didn't come out of a tin.

Best before 30 -11 -95.

Yep, yep, that's the code for chocolate biscuits.

Oh, Gary.

That's really thoughtful of you.

How much do I owe you?

Don't be silly. No, no, no, I'm not being silly. You laid out for me. I

want to feel beholden.

Gary brought all this back from America.

Really?

Phoebe, I brought the papers.

Can I have a look at the football results?

I think this is a very wise move, Phoebe.

The price of Argentinian beef can only go up as long as the war continues.

Your 200 pounds will grow tenfold.

What 200 pounds?

It is not your business.

Well, it's Dad's savings and his pension money.

Look at this, Ludo.

American instant coffee, best before chocolate biscuits, and that's official.

And you're going to invest this pension money for her, are you?

You have some objection.

No. Just didn't think you were Argentinian, that's all. I'm not. I'm

With that accent.

The country I was born in no longer exists, Mr. Soul Rider.

It has been overrun by the Nazis.

This is my country now.

Do you object?

No.

I'm sorry, Ludwig.

Robert.

Who?

Phoebe suggested Ludwig is not a good name for when I become a naturalised

Englishman. So he's been hunting round for a new moniker.

And on my way over here, I noticed that at the Vivali's they're showing Escape

with Robert Taylor.

And I thought, Robert is a perfect name for me.

So you took it, just like that, without permission.

Don't need permission to take someone's name. He could call himself Gary if he

wanted to. Yeah, I'd like to see him try. Oh, Gary, calm down.

Look, when I mentioned it to Ludo, sorry, to Robert, that Dad had left me a

of money and I wasn't sure what to do with it, he offered to help me out.

Wasn't that thoughtful?

Yeah.

Very thoughtful.

So, all you need now is a good surname, eh?

How about Churchill?

Robert Churchill?

I like that. You can't. People think you're taking a mick.

I'm sorry?

I don't know. How about Charlton? That goes very well after Bobby.

Yes, I quite like that.

Bobby Charlton.

You're not a Bobby. You're a Robert. It's completely different.

This is difficult.

Ah.

Suddenly this gives me an idea.

Robert Coffey doesn't sound very British.

No, no, no, no, no. Look at the label.

What about Robert House?

Does it not make you think of sturdy English institutions? As you say, an

Englishman's house is his castle. Also, as safe as houses.

House. Are you absolutely sure?

Well, I'll think about it for a few days, but, uh, yes, I like it.

And another thing that is as safe as houses, Phoebe, is this Argentinian

investment. Yeah, you put it all in B.

I'm sure Captain Bob knows what he's talking about.

Well, thank you, Gary, as I am a lieutenant only.

Actually, uh, Bobby, I've got a few quid myself I'm thinking of investing.

Oh, really? How much?

About 3 ,000.

Oh, I see.

Uh, well, I'm sure I could help you out.

I'm getting 30 bob a week disability allowance on account of my ear off.

Naturally, I'd have to run your proposal past my broker.

I beg your pardon?

Why don't you give me the details?

You know, the name of the company, the term, how the return is paid, et cetera,

et cetera.

Well, don't you trust me?

Of course I do.

But you can't be too careful with people's pension money.

Do you agree, Constable Dedman?

Right you are.

And what do you say, Phoebe?

Do you think I need to be interviewed by some stuffy stockbroker before I can be

believed? No, no, no, of course not.

But you can see Gary's point.

Oh, can you?

Just borrow those. No.

Phoebe, this is your public house. Are you going to let this non -combatant

insult me?

And now look what you've done.

You've driven Luke away.

Do you mean Robert? I hate you.

Look, Phoebe, if he's on the level, he'll be back.

If he's not back, that means he's a con man. I know that. So why are you so

angry? Because I don't want to know that.

Well, you told her, son.

You think so?

I think I blew it. Eh?

Well, never mind. Let's have another drink. Mm -mm.

I shouldn't, really.

Come on. One for the road.

Do your good.

Yeah.

Let's make it a bloody long road, eh, Reg?

Oi!

Lady's present.

Shut up.

Of course it isn't.

My name's not TV and Video Repairs, is it?

Been to a fancy dress party, have we?

Oh, yes, yes.

Oh, I wish you hadn't done that.

Why not?

Because now I'm going to have to do you for drunk in charge and you'll lose your

licence for a year. Kept your keys in your pocket, you might have got away

drunk and disorderly.

Ah, but I'm not being disorderly, sir.

Got to be drunk driving.

It's all your fault.

You kept buying me whiskies. Me?

Well, if it wasn't you, it must have been your grandfather.

Come on, let's get you down to the station. No, no, no.

Um, can I just make one phone call?

Go on, then.

Oh, man, listen.

Hello, Yvonne.

Garrett, are you all right?

Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. I just thought I'd better tell you, I might be a bit late

coming home.

How late?

Tomorrow.

You see, there's this strange man who wants me to get into his car.

No, no, don't worry, don't worry.

He's a policeman.

Where are you?

Um... Do you know Whitechapel Road?

Only on the Monopoly board.

Yeah, well... I'm going to jail.

I'm going directly to jail and I'm not passing that.

Gary, has this got anything to do with you wearing my blouse?

What?

Yvonne, I can't hear you. The line's breaking up.

Not only the line, Gary.

Oh, God.

Oh!

You've had a right skimple, haven't you?

No.

I haven't had a drink for 53 years.

Oh, come on, the bag.

Shall I do it?

Good night, sweetheart.

Sleep will banish sorrow.

Good night, sweetheart.

Till we meet tomorrow.

We talk.