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Good night, sweetheart.
All my prayers are for you.
Good night, sweetheart.
I'll be watching over you.
Tears and cutting may make us alone.
But with the dawn, a new day is born.
I have just spent three hours queuing up outside the greengrocers and all I've
got to show for it is ten pounds of spuds, a pound of curly kale and chill
blames. It wouldn't hurt you to get your own tea for once.
I can't imagine Eric in a penny.
Oh, hello,
Gary. I was just giving Dad a piece of my mind. About the only thing not on the
ration, I suppose.
Yeah, the usual.
Yeah, thanks.
You were asking for a good smack bottom.
Oh, hello. I thought we'd seen the last of you. Oh, wishful thinking, Eric.
Hello, hello, hello.
That's where it started.
Why are you looking so pleased with yourself?
I am the custodian of some very important information. You?
Yes, me.
Well, don't you want to know?
Not really. The last very important information you had turned out to be the
instalment of Belisha beacons outside the sub -post office.
Fair enough. If you're not interested in the impending visit to this very
borough of the King...
His Majesty, King George VI.
No, he means the other king. You know, the one who helps out George when he's
busy.
Sorry? Well, how do you know?
Well, obviously, this information is top secret.
Then why are you telling us, you great bonehead? You can't talk to me like
I'm an officer of the law.
You're still a bonehead. You were a bonehead before you joined the force.
be a bonehead the day after they chuck you out. You only got in because your
was a bobby.
In that case, when I do discover their itinerary, you won't want to know, will
you? Oh, no, you've got to tell us.
I'd hate to miss the chance to see them in the flesh.
Really? Oh, yes.
When the king was coronated, me and my friend Beryl slept out on the pavement
down Orscard so we could watch the carriage go by.
Oh, I get so excited. He's only a human being. He's not a demigod. What?
How dare you talk about his majesty like that? Arrest him, Reds. That's got to
be treating the poor. I don't know.
After all, we are supposed to be fighting for democracy.
What is a demigod, anyway?
Well, it's sort of half -man, half -deity, you know, like the Roman
Well, fair do, then, Eric. King George isn't a demigod. Well, he's still the
king of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, emperor of India, defender of
faith, a living symbol of all that we're fighting for, and you've just insulted
him. King George has stood by us, the common people. He could have buggered
to Canada.
Oi! Ladies present!
Lord, don't get so hysterical.
I mean, in 50 years' time, they'll probably be showing Japanese tourists
Buckingham Palace for eight quid a throw.
What?
What? The Japs and the Germans are allies, in case you've forgotten. Who do
think you are, Lord Hoare?
You still say you can't arrest him? We never make it stick, Eric. In that case,
you're barred. You can't bar me. I've been coming in here all me life. Not
you bonehead.
Me? You're kidding.
No, no, go on. Out.
I don't want the likes of you in here. This is a patriotic pub, not the
Luftwaffe sergeant's mess. Go on, op it.
Oh, come on, Eric. It's a bit over the top.
Don't you talk to me about over the top. I have been there.
You're barred for life.
Hi.
Oh, boy.
Back on the cheek, perhaps?
Sexual gymnastics on the loose covers?
I'd love to, but I've got to wind a crease in this oven glove.
Oh.
Notice you haven't done any of my shirts, then? Correct.
Right, well, that's me done.
Yvonne, how much longer are you going to keep up this childish stalking?
Childish? Me?
It isn't me who spent hundreds of pounds on World War II books and videotapes.
It isn't me who got arrested after some football match in Lithuania.
It isn't me who comes home at all hours.
Something's bothering you, isn't it?
Look at this.
Yeah, it adds up, doesn't it?
Peg two.
Yeah, all right, so I've gone a bit over the limit. I'm really sorry, I'll cut
back, I promise.
Shall I do the dinner?
There isn't any.
Why not?
I spent over an hour going round the supermarket today. I got to the checkout
and I presented them with my credit card.
And I saw the machine reject it.
In front of a queue of people.
One who was Linda Ferguson from over the road, who's always thought she was a
cut above us just because she's got an integral garage.
How do you think I felt, Gary?
Yeah, embarrassed.
And humiliated and angry and upset.
Well, it isn't Linda Ferguson's fault.
No, it isn't.
It's your fault, Gary.
It's not much fun being the only woman in England who's still suffering from
blitz.
If I didn't know you any better, I'd say you were having an affair.
Because I'm carrying this marriage.
And I'm carrying you.
And I'm fed up.
Because ever since you started this 1940s fixation, it's like you're not
there.
So I'll make it easier for you.
Get rid of all this stuff.
Or me.
Oh, come on, Yvonne. This stuff costs a lot of money.
You don't have to tell me.
So go and find some other anal, retentive, overgrown schoolboy with a
fixation. And sell it to him.
Yvonne, you...
It's very nice of you to think of me, but I don't need my own Imperial War
Museum. Oh, help us out, Ron. I've got to get rid of all this stuff, but I want
it to go to someone sensitive and mature.
Why don't you just store it in your garage until Yvonne simmers down?
We haven't got a garage. There's something else that's bugging her.
Maybe it's just her time of the month.
Yeah. No, Yvonne's right.
This 1940 stuff's getting dangerous.
I'm going to stop going back.
Concentrate on here and now.
Is that what you want?
Course not.
Look, I'll store your memorabilia for you. Then you can carry on visiting
Phoebe, if that's what you want.
Pardon me, he wants to stay there.
Which part?
Face facts, Gary.
You're besotted with Phoebe.
She haunts your every waking moment, even as she haunts your dreams.
You're right.
How do you know?
I was like, that was still a black.
I was only nine.
There's still no excuse for him.
Look, Gary, do you really believe that the human male is programmed to be a
monogamous animal?
No way, Attenborough.
If you look at our closest biological relations, the great apes, you'll
that the dominant male controls families of several dozen animals, including
several females of childbearing age, whom he services.
Well, I'm not servicing Phoebe.
More food, you. She's probably panting for it. Oi, you're talking about the
woman I love.
Well, one of the women I love.
Right.
Gary, you've been granted every man's wish.
An untraceable bit on the side.
How can you even talk about abandoning her to the swirling tides of history?
I never said it would be easy, Rowan. I just... Why are you so keen for me to go
back?
No reason.
I just thought you could do me a small favour.
How small?
I have in my hand...
A piece of paper.
In fact, several. To wit, ยฃ250 in period fibres.
Ron, you didn't... Don't ask!
They're perfect!
I've been doing a little research into the stock market of 1940.
Now, you've heard of Eurotronic PLC.
Yeah, of course. They're one of the biggest companies in Britain. And their
share have changed hands for ยฃ50 apiece.
Well, they were founded in 1933 as Arbuthnot Brothers Radio Limited.
And in 1940, their share have changed hands for ยฃ350.
Old pence.
So if you could see your way clear to buying a few thousand next time you go
back... Oh, I don't know, Ron.
You could buy some for yourself. We could both be millionaires.
No, that's meddling with history, isn't it? Gary!
Gary!
I'm asking you to invest a few pounds, not assassinate Winston Churchill!
Hi.
Hi.
Are you serious, then?
What are you going to do with all this stuff?
Car boot sale or safe deposit box?
Oh, no, the 1940s memorabilia fair coming up next weekend.
In Runcorn, as luck would have it.
I've been to Runcorn and luck doesn't come into it.
No, I mean, it's lucky because Ron's brother lives up that way. So I can
overnight at his place, then do the fair, make a few quid.
Might even bring you back something.
Thanks. Do without my very own personal gas mask.
That's not what you said the last time we had chilli con carne with extra
Phoebe. Oi! You, I told you, you're barred. Oh, come on, Eric, be sensible.
We're all on the same side. My boot will be on the same side as your behind if
you don't, Scarpa. Coming in here, insulting the royal family, stirring up
trouble. I've got some very important news. Eh?
I know exactly when the King and Queen are going to visit.
What? When?
This afternoon.
Where are they going?
I can't give you all the details, but at 1 .30 this afternoon, they're due to
make a brief visit at the London Hospital, Whitechapel Road. Hang on, how
know? Er, contacts.
Well, I don't think it's good enough. I've got a good mind. No, you haven't.
You've got a good heart, but even your mother wouldn't say you've got a good
mind. Gary, do you think you can get us in to see them? Well, would I have taken
half a day's leave if I couldn't? I should have been told first.
Well, we wouldn't be able to do it without your help, Castlewood Edmund.
Really?
Me? Yeah.
Well, as long as it doesn't involve any bending of the law.
Oh, no, no, no. But we will need some white coats, though. Why?
Well, that way we can pass our pills off as doctors and tack our pills on to the
end of the reception line.
Good thinking.
I can get some white coats for my chum Cyril down at mortuary.
Don't worry. I'll make sure they're clean.
Right. Hold the fort, Phoebe. I think this calls for a clean collar.
Have you gone for this, Manny?
I can't.
Some of us really are on duty.
Do you think I should change?
Put on something nicer?
Oh, Phoebe, you look lovely.
But then you always look lovely.
Thank you, kind sir.
Excuse me. Oh.
I see you're reading the financial section.
So? Doesn't mean I'm a rich man.
How is it you, Yox, always think Jews know all about money? No, I just
thought... You just thought I had a lot of stocks and shares, I know.
Listen, a man can dream, Carney.
So, what do you want to know?
Well, I've come into a small inheritance, you know, just a few quid.
thinking maybe I should buy some shares, because prices are bound to go up when
we win the war.
If we win.
Oh, we'll win.
Oh, from your mouth to God's ears.
Tell me, what company has actually taken your fancy?
Arbuthnot Brothers Radio Limited.
Who? Well, I've just got a feeling that home entertainment's going to be very
big after the war. Do me a favour. Everyone I know's chucking their piano
Do you think you can help me?
Well, I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll have a word with my brother -in -law. He
dabbles in the market.
But if you want my advice, don't be a schmuck. Buy Marks and Spencers.
Ready then, Gary mate?
Oh, it's Gary mate now, is it?
Ah, hello.
Yes, Professor Gareth Sparrow of the Department of Experimental Plastic
and my team.
I didn't know that... You didn't know we had a Department of Experimental
Plastic Surgery? No. Well, it's very hush -hush, hence the police escort.
You're very... Very, very, very young. Yes, yes, that's what Mr Churchill said.
But it's a very young science.
Your Majesty, may I present Professor Sparrow of the Department of
Plastic Surgery and his team?
Might I present Dr Phoebe Banford?
Is there a doctor in the house?
It's these junior doctors, Your Majesty. They work such long hours.
Right, how about drinks on the house?
On an occasion like this, of course, a champagne.
It can call for it. It ain't going to get any.
The queen spoke to me. She said, are you feeling better, my dear?
Are you feeling better?
Oh, I don't know how I'm feeling. I'm so light -headed.
I'm shivering all over. My stomach's full of butterflies.
You're probably just peckish. I'll open a tin of pilchards.
Well, you are pushing the boat down, aren't you?
An occasion like this deserves to be marked by more than a tin of dwarf
Portuguese fish.
What did you have in mind, son?
What? Slap up meal in the West End is what I had in mind. Count me in. I'd
pop off home and collect me dinner suit.
No, slap up meal for two, I was thinking.
Well, that's very kind of you, sir. What about me and Phoebe?
Oh, of course. I was being silly.
No more than usual.
I'll borrow your dinner suit, Reg. Save me going all the way home for mine.
Least I could do, son.
What about my drink on the house?
I'll have it for you. Ah, right you are.
in a West End restaurant.
So that's how it's going to be, is it? Turn her head by introducing her to
royalty, buying her fancy food, and then when she's putty in your hands... Oh,
Eric, do you really think your daughter would betray her marriage vows merely
because I introduced her to the king and then take her for dinner and dancing?
That's a boy.
That's a boy?
Well, what's it all about, then, if it's not to get your evil way?
I was hoping to break this a little more gently.
You're going away?
Yeah.
But you'll be coming back, won't you?
Swipe me. Young Ivor Novello is joining up.
Oh, no.
No, not you and old Gary. I couldn't stand it. No, no, it's not that.
I'm going back to America.
Well, Hollywood, actually.
Hollywood?
Well, you remember On The Street Where You Live? That song I wrote the night we
went dancing.
Well, on the strength of that, they've asked me to go and do a musical version
of George Bernard Shaw's Pygmalion.
That sounds like a big hit, I don't think.
Look, we'll talk about it later, please, OK?
I've had a word with my brother -in -law.
He says, come and see him tomorrow morning and introduce you to his
He also says that, in his opinion, you sound like a right schlemiel.
Is that better than a schmock? It's about the same.
Your poor husband's been away for months. Naturally things are difficult.
were more difficult before he went.
But he'll be coming back, God willing. And he'll be here supporting you when
laughing boy over there has long forgotten you. Do you think I don't know
Dad? That is why I have got to be with him tonight. It could be the last time.
Let's hope so.
Gary, this is such a gorgeous place.
Yeah, it's not bad, is it?
I think this must be the best day of my life.
The only thing that makes me sad is the reason we're here.
And even when you do come back, you'll probably have some glamorous film star
your arm.
If I would.
I wouldn't blame you.
We all know what they're like.
I mean, women like Mae West and Betty Grable aren't going to be backwards
coming forward, are they?
Bring one of them to a place like this and I'll bet you she'll be wondering
the bedrooms are like.
Well, I suppose we could always ask the manager to let us have a look at one of
the bedrooms, you know, just out of curiosity.
All right.
Madam.
Madam.
Ladies and gentlemen, please do not be alarmed.
This restaurant is 70 feet below ground level and is one of the safest places in
London.
Well, it's a bit more comfy than Dad's salary.
Yeah, well, the tops usually know how to look after themselves.
I hope you don't go on for too long, though. I don't fancy having to travel
with all that coming down.
No.
Hang on a sec.
I say... Yes?
Hello. My wife is rather nervous with the bombing.
You'll be quite safe, sir. Oh, absolutely, yes, but...
She's somewhat frightened about having to travel back to our place in
during the raids, so I was wondering if you might have a room, you know, just
for the one night?
Well, I'll ask the manager, sir, but we are very busy.
Well, yes, of course.
I believe the Imperial suite may be available, sir.
The King of the Belgians is not expected until the day after tomorrow.
Oh, excellent.
Um, obviously, neither of us have brought any knight attire or
well, don't worry, sir.
My friend is the manager of Andrews and Errington of German Street.
They always keep a few items of lingerie in stock for our more important
patrons. Oh, super.
Oh, hang on a sec.
Perhaps they could enclose a card?
Yes, certainly.
Gary, where have you been? Your soup's getting cold.
It's asking the head waiter if they had a sweep.
Well, you're getting ahead of yourself.
Sorry? I mean, I... I might not have any room for a sweet after my bath.
Main gate here, Ron. There's a Yvonne Sparrow to see you.
Yvonne, er, yeah.
Send her through.
The cool blonde sashayed into the office.
Marlowe tipped back his fedora and inspected her through a thin curl of
cigarette smoke.
She sat opposite him, crossed her silk stocking legs and through full, moist
lips huskily said... Stop pissing about. I'm worried about Gary.
Why's that, then?
Maybe I've been too hard on him.
OK, so he's made us bankrupt with all this 40s rubbish.
I thought it could be worse.
I mean, train spotting, for instance.
What's wrong with train spotters?
Perhaps it's me.
Maybe I'm too demanding.
He looks a bit tired sometimes.
Because women need different things from marriage than men. And men never really
seem to understand what women want, do they, Ron?
Well, I... You have always struck me as a really confident bloke where women are
concerned. What would you say I want, Ron?
What would you say I need?
Hold your horses, Yvonne.
Gary's my mate.
I mean, I know he can be a bit of a plank sometime, but that's no reason why
and I should embark on some sensual adventure which, once our immediate
lusts have been slaked, will leave us spiritually lessened and emotionally
empty. What?
I mean, I'm flattered.
You'll be flattened in a minute.
Do you think I came here to get off with you?
Well, you just said... Yes, I said, do you know what I want?
I just meant, do you, as Gary's friend, understand what a woman needs?
Because if you know, then maybe there's an outside chance that Gary does too.
You mean I misread the signs?
There were no signs.
I would rather go to bed with Sid Vicious.
He's dead.
Even so, Ron.
Oh, God, Yvonne.
I'm really sorry.
I mean, I've offended you in any way. No, it's OK. Actually, you've helped.
You have reminded me that, comparatively speaking, Gary is a hell of a catch.
Honestly. You men.
You all live in a fantasy world.
And with that, she vanished.
Only the heady scent of her ten -dollar perfume marking the space where moments
people... Nostradamus printing. We anticipate your needs.
Oh, hello. Thanks for calling back.
Have you got one in British Racing Green?
Oh, that's great.
ยฃ80 ,000.
Does that include a full tank of petrol?
Never mind.
I'll have one anyway.
Yeah.
I'm about to come into an inheritance.
And then what happens?
Well, then, Professor Henry Higgins and Eliza Doolittle, they go to this ball,
and she starts singing, I could have danced all night, I could have danced
night. Excuse me, sir.
The imperial suite is available, sir.
Eight guineas a night.
Oh, that's OK. And your purchases, sir?
I'm afraid there are six guineas, sir. Oh, well, quality seldom comes cheaply.
Here's the change.
Most kind.
Thank you. Well, he'll love them, he ain't. Well, they've got problems.
She's got a dad. Bit of an interfering old so -and -so.
Oh, well, that rings true, innit?
So what were you and that waiter chap looking at?
Well, you know you said you didn't want to go home during the raid.
Yeah.
Well, when I mentioned suite before, it's like... Well, suite's another name
a hotel bedroom.
Very narrow.
Only it's called a suite because it's more than one room. You know, there's a
bedroom, a bathroom, a living room.
That's a house.
You know,
you can have the bedroom and I'll sleep on the cell phone.
That's a stupid idea.
But what do we tell Dad?
Well, we could always hope he spent the night sheltering in the restaurant.
I'm not sure he'd believe us.
But on the other hand, he couldn't prove otherwise, could he?
Fancy a cup of coffee and I'm sweet.
You must be joking.
Oh.
I just thought... I don't like coffee.
Cup of tea now.
Excuse me, sir. Do you have a reservation?
I was in both battles of the Somme. I don't have to reserve.
Oh, God.
What are you doing here? I can't even spend a quiet...
You've had a telegram.
I thought you'd want to see it straight off.
I can't open it.
It's Donald, isn't it?
What's it say?
He's been taken prisoner by the Italians.
Oh, thank God.
He could have been killed.
Come on, love.
Let's go.
Do you have the money for a taxi?
A taxi? In the blitz? Not bloody likely.
Aye, sir.
Ladies' print.
Goodbye, Phoebe.
Gary,
I thought you were staying in Roanoke.
And why are you wearing Neville Chamberlain's dinner suit?
Well, it's...
I just picked it off one of the stalls, you know. I thought, well, it's in good
nick, they never go out of fashion, so I tried it on in the toilets. Who with?
Sorry.
Whilst I was looking in the mirror, I thought, nick my jeans and sweatshirt.
It's like that in Runcorn, Gary. It's the wild north -west.
So, does that mean the memorabilia affair was a complete disaster?
No, I managed to get rid of nearly everything.
That's a shame.
Eh?
Maybe I was too tough on you.
Maybe I should have tried to share your interests more.
Well, it doesn't matter. It's all over.
I'm not going back.
Back where?
Runcon.
What's that?
Oh, yeah.
I... I bought you something.
Now, before you open it, there's a story attached.
Apparently, in 1940, this officer fell in love with a married woman.
She loved him too, but although things weren't too good between her and her
husband... She couldn't bring herself to be unfaithful to him.
Until one night when this chap booked a suite at the Savoy and bought her that.
But before anything happened between them, she got this telegram saying her
husband had been taken prisoner.
She felt she couldn't go through with it and so she left.
How romantic.
I wonder what happened to them all.
Well, he probably went back to his wife, you know.
They took their marriage vows very seriously in those days.
He must have been hell to be stuck in a loveless marriage.
Oh, Gary.
This is gorgeous.
It looks like it was made yesterday.
Yeah.
That was so sweet, Gary.
Thank you.
Gary, there's a card inside.
Tonight, tonight won't be just any night.
Tonight there will be no morning star.
So, what have you been watching, then?
That's from West Side Story, isn't it? Looks like some old weepy, is it?
This couldn't have been written in 90... Gary, you wrote this?
No, Stephen, sometimes.
I meant the card, you idiot.
You see, you can be sentimental sometimes.
Actually, I wasn't watching a weepy.
It was the tape you left in the machine.
It's amazing what they went through.
Lunch may have been delayed a bit by Thursday's visit of the King and Queen
the London Hospital in Whitechapel Road, but these cherries passed from the
patients say it all.
Adolf, you're not beating us.
Now we see the King being introduced to a privileged young plastic surgeon.
Gary?
Yeah?
Who does he remind you of?
Who?
The Doctor.
He's a dead ringer for you.
Well, yeah.
I suppose I'm glad I look like that.
If I'd been around then.
Good night, sweetheart.
Sleep well, banished sorrow.
Good night, sweetheart.
Till we meet tomorrow.
Dreams and fall due.
In memory I'll fold you.
Good night, sweetheart.
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