Original subtitles

You gotta be kidding me.

Remember that old TV show, The Rockford Files?

God, I used to love that show.

Rockford could always see through the bulletin to the truth.

Anyway, let me introduce myself.

The name's John Fetcher.

But you can call me Fetch.

Because I get things.

What I do.

So I got a call around 2 a .m. about this guy, Sonny.

The one who jumped bail and he was worth about 10 Gs.

Now, the only reason I bring him up is they always tell you it's easy.

You know what?

It's never easy.

It's Fetch.

You know what to do.

John, hey, it's Susan.

Quick question.

Do you think you could get your head out of your ass and send me my alimony

check? I'm still waiting for it, John. What is going on?

Listen, all of the girls are getting together this week. We were all going to

to the IHOP.

Martha, Devin, all of my girls are now affiliated by the fact that I can't even

afford to go. Maybe if they were going to go to IHOP for some lingam pancakes,

I'd be in. But in this case, I...

She wasn't always that greedy.

Then again, I wasn't always Miss Brooke.

Either way,

she's not as bad as she seems.

I quit smoking the day she left.

Six months and 12 days.

All right, give me a break. I'm working on it.

I just got hit by a car, for God's sake.

You got my ten grand?

Uh, not exactly, man, but listen, I got something better for you. Fifty?

Geez. No problem. Be a piece of cake, man. Be easy.

It's never easy.

I've been doing this so long, it all starts to look the same.

For example, a gig like this always begins with a mansion.

Sometimes a maid.

I have an appointment.

The Smiths.

And let's not forget... Mr. Fetcher, thanks for coming.

The desperate rich couple.

Call me Fetch.

Can you help us? Can you find her?

Well, tell me what happened.

Last Friday night, we came home late from dinner.

She was gone.

My mother was babysitting.

They must have taken her while she was sleeping.

She must have been so scared.

Cops? No.

It's paid. Of course it's paid.

Look, we just want Bella back.

And we haven't heard anything.

It's okay. We're going to get her back.

Right?

I'm gonna need a recent photo.

That's a cute kid.

I'll be in touch.

I got all the information I needed from the rich couple.

It may not seem like much, but that ransom note gave me a pretty good idea

to start.

See?

This was Susan's problem with our relationship.

It was always me waiting in some dirty alley and her waiting at home for me.

Here we go.

Like clockwork.

My low -life informant and his entourage.

Meet Spike, your typical small -time crook who believes he's a rap star.

Come on, Spike, sunglasses on a rainy day.

Hey, Spike.

Long time, no see.

Yo, how you doing?

Yeah, it's been a while.

I hear you're one of the big dogs now.

I'm doing all right.

Nothing about that kidnap.

Yo.

Now, this happens a lot in my line of work, and it's only going to get worse,

let me just make this quick.

It never takes Spike long to give up the information.

All right. I know what you're thinking.

Come on, I just got attacked by four guys.

I wish you could pull your head out of your ass and just call me back.

Give me a little bit of fucking respect, you bonehead.

It's your ex -wife. I'd like my money. It's called down.

Well, I think it's going to be five more big ones.

And, uh, what do you think, Frankie?

I'm in.

You're so

easy. Look at these guys.

Dressed in black, smoking cigarettes, playing cards.

They gotta be bad guys.

Anyone home?

Sorry.

My car broke down, and I saw your sign out here. I don't even know what this

but I was wondering if you guys could help.

Am I?

Am I interrupting?

Who the fuck are you?

I'm John Fetcher.

Call me Fetch.

Fetch? Frankie, would you take care of Fetch here? What the fuck do you want,

man?

Ah! Ah!

Remember when I said it was going to get worse?

This is what I was talking about.

He's going to let me down.

Here's the deal.

I'm going to ask you a question. You're going to give me the right answer.

If you don't... What are you, out of your

fucking mind?

You know who I am, Ben.

No.

Where's Bella?

I don't know what you're talking about.

Bella?

I'm sorry, did you want to say something?

They're going to kill me if I tell you, man.

Wait, wait, wait a minute, wait a minute.

We just dropped her off.

Wait, wait, wait.

She's at a warehouse on Mornington, downtown.

That's all I know.

It was all starting to come together, just like a good episode of the Rockford

Files. I'm finally starting to see through the bullshit.

Surprise, surprise.

It could have been so easy.

Bruce, it's never easy.

She wouldn't listen to me.

She had to call you.

She's so annoying.

Do you know what it feels like to be bitched at all the time?

Have somebody tell you all the time what to do?

As a matter of fact, Bruce, I do.

Really?

Well, there's no harm done here.

What do you think we should do?

Tell you what, how about I double your fee and you're on your way?

It's not an option.

You might want to... Consider that.

No.

Where the hell did she come from?

I should have seen it coming.

It's original.

Crooked husband.

Extorting money from the rich wife.

While all... the time cheating with the hot maid right

normally

i i don't hit women

You hit like a girl.

What

a

bitch.

I know.

No way. You gotta be kidding me.

Like I said, it's never easy.

But this time, it was worth it.

They call me Fetch, because I get things.

It's what I do.

Hey, it's Susan.

Leave a message.

Uh, Susan, it's John.

check you've been waiting for. So give me a call back and maybe I could drop it

off.

Let me know. Okay.

I want to be your monkey, baby.

Ring my thing and drive you crazy.

Earth needs to relate to each other.

You must understand that you cannot destroy your own land.

You want me to be evaporated from the water, yes?

And I want to be washed in the river.

Yeah.