All language subtitles for According to Jim s08e06 Cabin Boys
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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,760 --> 00:00:05,880
All right, Jim, you are going to love
Emily's cabin.
2
00:00:06,080 --> 00:00:10,120
Oh, I already love it. No wife, no kids,
and nobody drinking out of a bottle
3
00:00:10,120 --> 00:00:11,120
except me.
4
00:00:12,280 --> 00:00:15,460
And when I marry Emily, we can go there
whenever we want.
5
00:00:15,680 --> 00:00:19,440
You know what? You got so lucky, because
when I married Cheryl, you were the
6
00:00:19,440 --> 00:00:20,440
only perk I got.
7
00:00:22,480 --> 00:00:24,980
I don't have to take you, you know. I
can go alone.
8
00:00:25,260 --> 00:00:28,440
Oh, yeah? You're going to sleep out in
the woods all by yourself in the dark?
9
00:00:28,600 --> 00:00:31,630
Sure. Yeah, with an Indian burial ground
a mile away?
10
00:00:31,910 --> 00:00:33,710
Ah, come on. That don't scare me.
11
00:00:34,090 --> 00:00:36,690
It's not like we stole their land and
their ghosts want revenge.
12
00:00:38,830 --> 00:00:41,830
Oh, God. Oh, God. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Don't let me go alone.
13
00:00:42,570 --> 00:00:44,530
All right. Apology accepted. Come on.
Let's go.
14
00:00:45,850 --> 00:00:47,150
Oh, getting a text.
15
00:00:47,370 --> 00:00:48,610
Probably from the beloved.
16
00:00:49,250 --> 00:00:51,050
Turn around. She likes to get saucy.
17
00:00:52,730 --> 00:00:53,850
Come on, man. Turn around.
18
00:00:55,210 --> 00:00:56,210
Don't peek.
19
00:00:58,330 --> 00:01:01,120
Andy. I will always love you.
20
00:01:02,460 --> 00:01:04,540
Andy, why am I turning around if you're
going to read it?
21
00:01:06,240 --> 00:01:08,580
You are the most amazing man.
22
00:01:08,920 --> 00:01:11,420
I bet the saucy part's coming up next.
23
00:01:12,100 --> 00:01:13,240
I'm waiting to blush.
24
00:01:14,180 --> 00:01:18,080
But I have met someone new, and I am
eloping to New Mexico.
25
00:01:27,280 --> 00:01:29,620
Can you read the rest? I don't think I
can.
26
00:01:30,700 --> 00:01:32,800
I'm terribly sorry for hurting you.
27
00:01:33,380 --> 00:01:34,900
I'm a horrible person.
28
00:01:36,360 --> 00:01:38,000
But I have to do what I have to do.
29
00:01:40,560 --> 00:01:41,560
Holy cow.
30
00:01:43,320 --> 00:01:44,700
I just got dumped.
31
00:01:45,900 --> 00:01:47,620
And it cost me ten cents.
32
00:01:49,920 --> 00:01:50,920
Oh, Andy.
33
00:01:51,620 --> 00:01:53,140
Don't you have unlimited texting?
34
00:01:54,800 --> 00:01:58,460
Oh, my God, my fiancé dumped me, and I
have a really bad phone plan.
35
00:02:03,780 --> 00:02:06,200
Oh, this really sucks.
36
00:02:07,080 --> 00:02:08,079
Yeah, it does.
37
00:02:10,720 --> 00:02:11,980
I know what you're going through, man.
38
00:02:12,880 --> 00:02:15,940
You've been dumped like this? Oh, come
on, Andy, we all have.
39
00:02:17,340 --> 00:02:18,340
Oh, Jim.
40
00:02:20,080 --> 00:02:23,000
I just want to go home and spend the
whole weekend in bed.
41
00:02:31,720 --> 00:02:33,540
There's a little more to the message.
Really?
42
00:02:33,920 --> 00:02:35,440
Yeah, let me scan down here.
43
00:02:36,340 --> 00:02:38,840
Oh, feel free to use the cabin this
weekend.
44
00:02:40,080 --> 00:02:43,800
I know Jim was looking forward to it,
and he would be devastated if he didn't
45
00:02:43,800 --> 00:02:44,800
get a chance to go.
46
00:02:45,580 --> 00:02:49,820
Does not say that. Well, that's where
her heart was. You know, she cared for
47
00:02:50,420 --> 00:02:51,980
Jim, I'm hurting here.
48
00:02:52,180 --> 00:02:55,180
All right. Well, let's not compound it
by getting stuck in traffic.
49
00:02:56,260 --> 00:03:00,120
No, no, no. There's no way I can go on a
guy's weekend now.
50
00:03:01,070 --> 00:03:01,589
Why not?
51
00:03:01,590 --> 00:03:04,250
We both know what you're going to do if
you stay here all weekend.
52
00:03:04,690 --> 00:03:08,070
I'll call Emily ten times an hour and
eat mayonnaise straight from the jar.
53
00:03:08,230 --> 00:03:12,230
Right. And that is not good for your
cholesterol or your weekend minutes.
54
00:03:12,630 --> 00:03:16,770
Now, give me the phone. Give me the
phone. I'll be strong for you. No, I
55
00:03:16,770 --> 00:03:19,610
think I can. I don't think I can do it.
Andy, Andy, calm down. Calm down.
56
00:03:21,070 --> 00:03:22,450
Listen, if we go, I'll tell you what.
57
00:03:23,150 --> 00:03:26,750
On the way out, we'll stop for some
mayonnaise before we hit the highway.
58
00:03:30,160 --> 00:03:31,160
Not the packets.
59
00:03:31,780 --> 00:03:32,780
The jar.
60
00:03:37,340 --> 00:03:38,340
And a hug.
61
00:04:11,500 --> 00:04:12,500
this place short, Andy.
62
00:04:12,760 --> 00:04:17,880
View of the lake, wood -burning stove,
sturdy beams in case I want to hang
63
00:04:17,880 --> 00:04:18,880
myself.
64
00:04:19,640 --> 00:04:21,820
Hey, there's progress. You're making
jokes.
65
00:04:22,300 --> 00:04:23,300
No, I'm not.
66
00:04:23,980 --> 00:04:26,780
Oh, you're not crying. That's good
enough for me. Come on, let's go
67
00:04:26,980 --> 00:04:28,740
Hey, uh, let me see my phone real quick.
68
00:04:29,500 --> 00:04:30,500
Why?
69
00:04:30,760 --> 00:04:34,160
Uh, just curious to see how many bars I
get out here.
70
00:04:34,380 --> 00:04:35,380
Andy!
71
00:04:36,390 --> 00:04:40,350
You've got to stop thinking about Emily
and who she's with and what he's doing
72
00:04:40,350 --> 00:04:41,790
to her and where he's doing it.
73
00:04:43,130 --> 00:04:46,350
All right, that's it. I'm going to get
in the bathtub. You grab the toast.
74
00:04:46,370 --> 00:04:49,250
Andy, Andy, Andy, come on, come on, come
on, come on, come on, come on.
75
00:04:49,510 --> 00:04:50,830
We're here. Look.
76
00:04:51,450 --> 00:04:54,090
It's beautiful, the two of us all alone.
77
00:04:54,690 --> 00:04:56,830
Nobody within miles of us.
78
00:04:58,470 --> 00:04:59,470
What the hell?
79
00:05:03,760 --> 00:05:06,440
Emily's ex -husband. You met when I
proposed to her?
80
00:05:07,280 --> 00:05:10,720
Oh, I'm sorry, Jerry. I didn't recognize
you. You're not sobbing uncontrollably.
81
00:05:12,240 --> 00:05:13,780
She left us!
82
00:05:16,520 --> 00:05:18,200
There you are, Jerry.
83
00:05:18,520 --> 00:05:19,520
How you doing?
84
00:05:19,600 --> 00:05:21,060
You got the text?
85
00:05:21,340 --> 00:05:22,400
New Mexico!
86
00:05:24,180 --> 00:05:27,500
Did you see the picture?
87
00:05:27,840 --> 00:05:29,760
My phone doesn't do pictures.
88
00:05:34,960 --> 00:05:37,920
The kid at the mall said I was getting a
really good deal.
89
00:05:39,380 --> 00:05:42,600
Come on, guys. Stop your wailing.
90
00:05:43,020 --> 00:05:45,500
The moose are going to think it's mating
season.
91
00:05:48,900 --> 00:05:49,900
I'm sorry.
92
00:05:50,860 --> 00:05:52,580
I thought I'd be alone up here.
93
00:05:53,500 --> 00:05:55,860
It's where I come when I miss her.
94
00:05:57,580 --> 00:05:59,540
But she got the cabin and the divorce.
95
00:06:00,480 --> 00:06:01,480
I break in.
96
00:06:17,960 --> 00:06:19,080
kind of a whore?
97
00:06:21,200 --> 00:06:26,840
Yes, that's part of it. But we came up
here to forget about that person.
98
00:06:27,800 --> 00:06:31,540
Now, Jerry, look, you want to hang out,
you want to fish, you want to be with
99
00:06:31,540 --> 00:06:34,320
the boys a little bit, you're welcome to
stay, all right? That sounds great.
100
00:06:34,560 --> 00:06:35,560
Yeah? Yeah.
101
00:06:35,940 --> 00:06:38,540
Yeah, let's get on that boat. The boat,
perfect.
102
00:06:38,840 --> 00:06:42,020
Great. Fresh air, new friends, new
memories.
103
00:06:42,240 --> 00:06:44,500
She's down at the dock, third slip on
the left. Oh, great.
104
00:06:44,760 --> 00:06:46,100
She's named Forever Emily.
105
00:07:24,330 --> 00:07:25,910
a hundred times every night before bed.
106
00:07:27,550 --> 00:07:28,590
How romantic.
107
00:07:29,370 --> 00:07:32,850
I used to do her nails, but that's not
as intimate. No.
108
00:07:33,750 --> 00:07:34,950
All right, that's it.
109
00:07:35,250 --> 00:07:36,250
I'm done.
110
00:07:36,270 --> 00:07:39,950
You know what? You two got to man up and
get over this woman. How are we
111
00:07:39,950 --> 00:07:40,950
supposed to do that?
112
00:07:41,070 --> 00:07:45,490
You know what? The best way to get over
a woman is to get under another one.
113
00:07:48,070 --> 00:07:51,410
Do you mean... Oh, that could work. Yes!
114
00:07:54,120 --> 00:07:58,580
Come on, let's go find some bar with
some really hot mountain women who love
115
00:07:58,580 --> 00:07:59,820
men that smell like mayonnaise.
116
00:08:01,740 --> 00:08:03,420
Do you think they're out there, Jim?
117
00:08:04,920 --> 00:08:06,540
I know they're out there, Andy.
118
00:08:07,060 --> 00:08:09,540
Now, come on, let's go. Let's go find
this bar.
119
00:08:09,920 --> 00:08:10,920
Oh, look.
120
00:08:12,660 --> 00:08:13,820
It's Emily's hairbrush.
121
00:08:15,320 --> 00:08:16,600
Show me how you did it.
122
00:08:39,669 --> 00:08:40,669
Well,
123
00:08:47,250 --> 00:08:48,250
that's a lot of flannel.
124
00:08:50,050 --> 00:08:51,450
Hey, nice shot, buddy.
125
00:08:52,370 --> 00:08:54,070
All right, I'm up next, bud.
126
00:08:55,310 --> 00:08:57,250
Hey, what's going on here? Lumberjack
convention?
127
00:08:59,410 --> 00:09:01,250
Actually, it's ladies' night.
128
00:09:04,400 --> 00:09:05,460
I'm sorry, ma 'am.
129
00:09:06,060 --> 00:09:08,040
To be fair, it's a little dark in here.
130
00:09:09,220 --> 00:09:11,560
And you do have a little scruff right in
here.
131
00:09:13,660 --> 00:09:15,220
That's all right, fish. I ain't
offended.
132
00:09:16,360 --> 00:09:17,360
Turned on.
133
00:09:20,140 --> 00:09:22,060
Hey, girls, look what we got here.
134
00:09:23,840 --> 00:09:24,840
Fresh meat.
135
00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:31,520
I didn't come in here for, you know, any
kind of... When you come in here
136
00:09:31,520 --> 00:09:32,700
dressed like that...
137
00:09:33,420 --> 00:09:34,840
We know what you come in here for.
138
00:09:37,560 --> 00:09:42,780
It's kind of funny. I just left a couple
guys who are acting like women.
139
00:09:49,320 --> 00:09:51,920
I guess maybe you don't get the irony of
it.
140
00:09:54,580 --> 00:10:00,500
Well, ladies, I got to tell you, I'm
very flattered and a little frightened.
141
00:10:03,630 --> 00:10:05,530
Bad news is I'm married.
142
00:10:06,370 --> 00:10:08,470
That's all right. I'm drunken on parole.
143
00:10:11,150 --> 00:10:13,290
Anybody got any quarters for the
jukebox?
144
00:10:15,510 --> 00:10:17,330
How about you, Fish? You got any change?
145
00:10:17,830 --> 00:10:20,430
Oh, no, I don't think so. I'll check his
pockets.
146
00:10:22,170 --> 00:10:23,170
Oh.
147
00:10:38,920 --> 00:10:39,920
about that car alarm, Fish.
148
00:10:40,060 --> 00:10:41,080
No one's around to hear it.
149
00:10:46,840 --> 00:10:48,080
Hey, ma 'am.
150
00:10:48,540 --> 00:10:49,540
Ma 'am, listen.
151
00:10:50,160 --> 00:10:51,160
I'm a dude.
152
00:10:53,740 --> 00:10:55,100
Boy, am I off today.
153
00:10:56,520 --> 00:10:57,900
Listen, can you help me out here?
154
00:10:58,740 --> 00:11:01,140
You come waltzing in here dressed like
that on ladies' night?
155
00:11:01,800 --> 00:11:02,800
You're on your own.
156
00:11:03,960 --> 00:11:06,520
Ladies' night? There's not even any guys
here to pick up...
157
00:11:07,690 --> 00:11:09,310
That's more of a warning than an
advertisement.
158
00:11:12,130 --> 00:11:14,210
Who wants a lap dance?
159
00:11:16,190 --> 00:11:20,910
Well, my wife really doesn't approve of
this stuff, but you know, what the hell?
160
00:11:23,410 --> 00:11:24,410
You're not the lap.
161
00:11:25,190 --> 00:11:26,190
You're the dance.
162
00:12:14,060 --> 00:12:17,180
A table saw and the fish here.
163
00:12:18,980 --> 00:12:20,980
Peanuts. Shifting, boss.
164
00:12:26,260 --> 00:12:27,260
Call.
165
00:12:28,500 --> 00:12:29,700
Three eights.
166
00:12:31,640 --> 00:12:32,840
Get over here, fish.
167
00:12:34,900 --> 00:12:36,020
Switching sides, boss.
168
00:12:37,200 --> 00:12:38,200
Switching sides.
169
00:12:46,510 --> 00:12:47,510
Enjoy the show, ladies.
170
00:12:47,570 --> 00:12:49,110
Pick up the chips, fish.
171
00:12:51,730 --> 00:12:53,030
Picking up the chips, boss.
172
00:12:57,810 --> 00:13:01,230
I told you that was a place door, not a
bull door.
173
00:13:01,690 --> 00:13:04,290
I'll never doubt you again on the
subject of doors.
174
00:13:05,290 --> 00:13:07,050
Barking. Oh, hey, tiny.
175
00:13:10,910 --> 00:13:12,130
Another box of wine.
176
00:13:12,590 --> 00:13:14,490
And may I see a tapas menu?
177
00:13:22,640 --> 00:13:23,399
God, you're here.
178
00:13:23,400 --> 00:13:25,380
Jim! Hey, Jim's here.
179
00:13:26,440 --> 00:13:33,240
You guys are hammered. But we didn't
drive, Jim. That would be dangerous. We
180
00:13:33,240 --> 00:13:34,500
took the snowmobile.
181
00:13:37,560 --> 00:13:39,380
Guys, you've got to get me out of here.
182
00:13:41,780 --> 00:13:43,940
What is the rush?
183
00:13:45,920 --> 00:13:46,920
You were right.
184
00:13:47,320 --> 00:13:50,140
It's like we wandered into a Miss
America contest.
185
00:13:51,210 --> 00:13:53,650
Yeah, well, I wouldn't stick around for
the swimsuit competition.
186
00:13:54,950 --> 00:13:59,410
Evening, ladies. Which one of you fair
damsels can help a man forget about a
187
00:13:59,410 --> 00:14:02,090
woman? Well, the truth is they probably
all can.
188
00:15:13,569 --> 00:15:14,569
pancakes.
189
00:15:15,450 --> 00:15:19,510
What a crazy night it was last night.
You know what? You guys are actually fun
190
00:15:19,510 --> 00:15:21,010
with three boxes of wine in you.
191
00:15:21,830 --> 00:15:25,790
I don't know what happened, but I'm not
wearing underwear and my inhaler's gone.
192
00:15:27,030 --> 00:15:28,710
One of the chicks probably took it.
193
00:15:29,210 --> 00:15:32,330
Chicks? Oh, right. We had chicks.
194
00:15:34,390 --> 00:15:35,490
You remember?
195
00:15:37,170 --> 00:15:38,670
Not really. It's kind of fuzzy.
196
00:15:40,170 --> 00:15:41,170
How fuzzy?
197
00:15:41,430 --> 00:15:42,430
Pretty fuzzy.
198
00:15:43,980 --> 00:15:45,720
They were smoking gorgeous.
199
00:15:46,020 --> 00:15:47,100
Oh, yeah?
200
00:15:47,520 --> 00:15:48,520
Oh, yeah.
201
00:15:48,740 --> 00:15:52,280
If 10 is the best, they were $250, $300.
202
00:15:53,280 --> 00:15:56,760
Wait, Jim. You didn't stray, did you?
203
00:15:57,660 --> 00:15:58,660
No.
204
00:16:01,660 --> 00:16:02,660
No.
205
00:16:05,340 --> 00:16:08,720
Well, tell the truth. Whose chick was
hotter, mine or Jerry's?
206
00:16:09,120 --> 00:16:12,300
Well, it's hard to tell. I mean, these
women were...
207
00:16:13,230 --> 00:16:14,910
Unlike any woman I've ever seen.
208
00:16:52,970 --> 00:16:54,850
Or maybe somebody's returning my
inhaler.
209
00:16:55,810 --> 00:16:56,769
Oh, God.
210
00:16:56,770 --> 00:16:57,810
Oh, God, it's Emily.
211
00:16:58,110 --> 00:17:02,210
Don't read it! He's right. He's right.
He is so right. Come on, Andy. Come on.
212
00:17:02,210 --> 00:17:03,230
Come on. Come on. Let's go fishing.
213
00:17:03,750 --> 00:17:04,750
Come on.
214
00:17:05,290 --> 00:17:06,990
Yeah. Yeah. Fishing.
215
00:17:07,270 --> 00:17:10,290
That's it. That's it. Maybe I'll just
take one quick piece. Oh, crap.
216
00:17:10,490 --> 00:17:13,770
Come on, Andy. Andy, I've made a
terrible mistake. You're the best thing
217
00:17:13,770 --> 00:17:15,470
ever happened to me. I want you back.
218
00:17:45,230 --> 00:17:50,270
Because she likes me better, Jerry. She
likes studs, not duds. I want her back.
219
00:17:50,270 --> 00:17:53,610
Well, I want her back. I want her back.
Wait a minute.
220
00:17:54,150 --> 00:17:55,270
Come on, guys.
221
00:17:55,730 --> 00:17:56,950
You're over her.
222
00:17:57,410 --> 00:18:01,310
You just had to find a supermodel's
Wisconsin hands to offer her.
223
00:18:02,170 --> 00:18:03,410
I don't care, Jim.
224
00:18:03,710 --> 00:18:07,330
I love Emily, and she loves me. Why
don't you want me to be happy?
225
00:18:07,610 --> 00:18:08,610
Sit down.
226
00:18:08,630 --> 00:18:09,890
Both of you, sit down.
227
00:18:15,370 --> 00:18:16,069
She's evil.
228
00:18:16,070 --> 00:18:17,870
Yeah, but she smells so good.
229
00:18:18,570 --> 00:18:19,570
She's the devil.
230
00:18:20,290 --> 00:18:22,950
And you know what? You two need an
exorcism.
231
00:18:23,430 --> 00:18:25,210
Give me those phones. No, no, no.
232
00:18:25,410 --> 00:18:28,010
I'm going to burn these phones. You're
burning our phones? I'm burning the
233
00:18:28,010 --> 00:18:30,570
phones. But I still have four years left
on my contract.
234
00:18:31,530 --> 00:18:34,230
I am burning the power that Emily holds
over you.
235
00:18:34,430 --> 00:18:36,670
In order to get rid of her, you've got
to get rid of her stuff.
236
00:18:37,010 --> 00:18:38,010
Burn it.
237
00:18:38,590 --> 00:18:41,290
You know what? Maybe we should burn all
this stuff and start with this
238
00:18:41,290 --> 00:18:43,510
hairbrush. Not the brush. I'm burning
it.
239
00:18:53,230 --> 00:18:56,470
it to me this was your favorite cup burn
it what else we got this picture frame
240
00:18:56,470 --> 00:19:00,050
on our honeymoon burn it salt and pepper
shakers we got at the flea market oh
241
00:19:00,050 --> 00:19:06,330
yeah burn it pineapple napkin holder
yeah all right what about this duck this
242
00:19:06,330 --> 00:19:12,330
500 cashmere scarf she gave me
243
00:19:12,330 --> 00:19:14,810
you got a gift receipt for it no
244
00:19:43,210 --> 00:19:44,770
So free. So clean.
245
00:19:45,170 --> 00:19:49,030
Still a little hungover. But it's a
freer hungover. Oh, yeah, definitely.
246
00:19:50,230 --> 00:19:51,390
Welcome back, boys.
247
00:19:51,870 --> 00:19:52,870
Let's celebrate.
248
00:19:53,110 --> 00:19:53,989
All right.
249
00:19:53,990 --> 00:19:55,270
With a shot of rum.
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00:19:55,830 --> 00:19:57,850
You know, that was her favorite rum.
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00:20:19,690 --> 00:20:21,190
Gavin. Oh, she did.
252
00:20:25,450 --> 00:20:26,610
Goodbye, Emily.
253
00:20:28,670 --> 00:20:29,670
Good riddance.
254
00:20:30,410 --> 00:20:32,370
Jim, we don't know how to thank you.
255
00:20:32,850 --> 00:20:34,770
You got us over Emily, Jim.
256
00:20:34,970 --> 00:20:38,330
And you hooked us up with two of the
most beautiful women to ever walk God's
257
00:20:38,330 --> 00:20:39,330
greener.
258
00:20:40,870 --> 00:20:42,010
I'm glad you're feeling better.
259
00:20:44,070 --> 00:20:45,730
Oh, thank God the fire department.
260
00:20:46,950 --> 00:20:50,480
Wow. Those are... two of the biggest
firemen I've ever seen.
261
00:20:54,600 --> 00:20:56,440
Looks like the building's at total loss.
262
00:20:56,660 --> 00:20:58,380
We're just going to keep the fire from
spreading to the woods.
263
00:21:00,220 --> 00:21:02,280
How drunk were we last night?
264
00:21:03,260 --> 00:21:05,080
Drunk enough to let the cute one get
away.
265
00:21:08,240 --> 00:21:09,240
Hey, ladies.
266
00:21:10,500 --> 00:21:11,500
Thanks.
267
00:21:12,200 --> 00:21:13,920
Hey, that's not cool.
268
00:21:14,980 --> 00:21:16,240
Those men are heroes.
269
00:21:19,110 --> 00:21:21,850
They did things I could never do.
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