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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,320 --> 00:00:03,060 I'm thirsty. Would you loan me a beer? Shh. 2 00:00:04,180 --> 00:00:07,980 Oh, right. If the beers know we're coming, they'll try to hide. 3 00:00:09,420 --> 00:00:12,140 I just want to have a beer before the screaming starts. 4 00:00:12,500 --> 00:00:13,500 What screaming? 5 00:00:14,100 --> 00:00:15,380 Cheryl's resting upstairs. 6 00:00:16,020 --> 00:00:18,020 And you know how she gets crazy every pregnancy? 7 00:00:18,340 --> 00:00:20,860 Well, it's double this time because she's having twins. 8 00:00:21,620 --> 00:00:23,980 Plus, those hormones go nuts when you're older. 9 00:00:25,840 --> 00:00:29,520 Don't say that word in this house. Which word? Hormones are older. 10 00:00:31,589 --> 00:00:32,610 Don't do that. 11 00:00:33,250 --> 00:00:34,250 Be quiet. 12 00:00:34,750 --> 00:00:39,190 You know, Cheryl, during every pregnancy, there's one point where she 13 00:00:39,190 --> 00:00:40,190 to the dark side. 14 00:00:41,530 --> 00:00:45,510 She's right on the edge, and I don't want her to go over it. 15 00:01:45,729 --> 00:01:48,470 Hello, my young skinny bride. 16 00:01:50,150 --> 00:01:52,010 My life is over. 17 00:01:53,050 --> 00:01:58,310 Oh, come on, honey. Don't be silly. You got so much in life to look forward to. 18 00:01:58,490 --> 00:02:01,550 For example, isn't it time to start making dinner? 19 00:02:06,220 --> 00:02:07,220 I saw the doctor today. 20 00:02:08,580 --> 00:02:09,620 Twins are fine. 21 00:02:10,680 --> 00:02:14,140 As a precautionary measure, he wants to put me on bed rest. 22 00:02:15,300 --> 00:02:16,300 All night? 23 00:02:18,660 --> 00:02:20,520 Until the babies are born. 24 00:02:22,140 --> 00:02:24,600 Does this have to start before dinner? 25 00:02:27,680 --> 00:02:29,500 There's a lot to absorb here. 26 00:02:30,320 --> 00:02:31,320 Give me a minute. 27 00:02:33,420 --> 00:02:35,580 I mean, it's going to be really hard on me. 28 00:02:40,340 --> 00:02:42,180 Well, won't you be lying down? 29 00:02:43,040 --> 00:02:44,040 Stop, honey! 30 00:02:45,480 --> 00:02:49,760 Honey, I've been away from my family for months, giving my mom sponge baths, 31 00:02:49,760 --> 00:02:52,040 because boo -hoo, she broke her hair. 32 00:02:53,540 --> 00:02:59,140 And then you, you did your filthy business on me on an airplane, got me 33 00:02:59,140 --> 00:03:01,420 knocked up. Honey, honey. 34 00:03:01,720 --> 00:03:05,500 Well, you bring your whores around and forget all about me! Honey, come on! 35 00:03:07,060 --> 00:03:08,600 Easy, baby, easy. 36 00:03:08,890 --> 00:03:09,890 Easy. 37 00:03:10,110 --> 00:03:11,870 It's not going to be that bad. 38 00:03:13,430 --> 00:03:19,050 Honest. Look, while you were in Florida taking care of your mom, I took care of 39 00:03:19,050 --> 00:03:20,050 the house, right? 40 00:03:20,250 --> 00:03:23,050 Yeah. I will continue to do so. 41 00:03:24,890 --> 00:03:31,710 Right? All I want you to do is relax and concentrate on making 42 00:03:31,710 --> 00:03:32,770 these babies beautiful. 43 00:03:33,910 --> 00:03:35,430 What about Gracie's party? 44 00:03:35,910 --> 00:03:37,210 Her birthday party? Yes! 45 00:03:38,030 --> 00:03:40,810 I reserved the Cotillion Room at the National Girl doll store. 46 00:03:44,510 --> 00:03:45,510 Not a problem. 47 00:03:45,870 --> 00:03:48,070 Is Cotillion more than a billion? 48 00:03:48,330 --> 00:03:49,530 Oh. All right. Come on. 49 00:03:50,530 --> 00:03:53,590 National Girl dolls have only been your daughter's favorite thing for the last 50 00:03:53,590 --> 00:03:54,469 two years. 51 00:03:54,470 --> 00:03:57,370 Perhaps you remember a few dinners with a little doll named Constance 52 00:03:57,370 --> 00:03:58,370 Higginbottom? 53 00:03:59,870 --> 00:04:01,730 Oh, that quiet girl didn't talk? 54 00:04:02,930 --> 00:04:06,390 Yeah, I liked her. She was polite and let me take food off her plate. 55 00:04:08,300 --> 00:04:09,820 The Italian room is a very big deal. 56 00:04:10,420 --> 00:04:12,440 We've been on the waiting list for over a year. 57 00:04:13,040 --> 00:04:14,600 And now I'm going to have to cancel. 58 00:04:14,960 --> 00:04:17,160 And it's going to break little Gracie's heart. 59 00:04:18,160 --> 00:04:19,160 Honey. 60 00:04:20,060 --> 00:04:22,100 Please. We're not going to cancel. 61 00:04:23,160 --> 00:04:24,720 I will handle it. 62 00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:26,000 Yeah, right. 63 00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:29,780 It's ten little girls and their dolls having high tea. 64 00:04:30,760 --> 00:04:31,760 Not a problem. 65 00:04:33,300 --> 00:04:34,300 I'll handle it. 66 00:04:36,440 --> 00:04:37,440 Do you mean it? 67 00:04:38,940 --> 00:04:39,940 Yes, I do. 68 00:04:41,780 --> 00:04:42,840 And I love you. 69 00:04:44,780 --> 00:04:45,780 Do you? 70 00:04:46,380 --> 00:04:50,920 Because I've been thinking that maybe there's an upside to you being in bed 71 00:04:50,920 --> 00:04:51,920 the time. 72 00:04:53,220 --> 00:04:56,120 Actually, honey, I talked to my OB. 73 00:04:57,000 --> 00:04:59,480 He said I can't have sex until after the babies are born. 74 00:05:00,140 --> 00:05:01,140 Wow. 75 00:05:03,840 --> 00:05:05,820 Did you talk to the ear, nose, throat guy? 76 00:05:20,080 --> 00:05:22,440 Give your mother lunch, and then we're going to go to the party. 77 00:05:23,340 --> 00:05:26,600 Remember, that's not your mother in there. 78 00:05:28,740 --> 00:05:30,140 That's the hormones. 79 00:05:32,420 --> 00:05:36,760 So don't get too close, and don't look her in the eye. 80 00:05:37,520 --> 00:05:39,420 So it's like the monkeys at the zoo. 81 00:05:40,480 --> 00:05:43,000 Except for we don't have glass to protect us here. 82 00:05:44,320 --> 00:05:45,320 Daddy, I'm scared. 83 00:05:45,600 --> 00:05:49,280 If she says anything, just say, yes, mommy. 84 00:05:49,960 --> 00:05:50,960 Yes, Mommy. 85 00:05:53,280 --> 00:05:54,620 To Mommy, Kyle. 86 00:05:59,260 --> 00:06:00,260 Hello. 87 00:06:01,780 --> 00:06:04,380 How are my little darlings? 88 00:06:05,700 --> 00:06:06,700 Yes, Mommy. 89 00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:13,220 There's my birthday girl. Come here, Gracie. 90 00:06:18,890 --> 00:06:19,890 It's okay, honey. 91 00:06:20,390 --> 00:06:21,390 Hey, Dad. 92 00:06:22,290 --> 00:06:27,530 Honey, I made you and your sister tea cozies for your party. 93 00:07:01,390 --> 00:07:04,770 You're not going to get a cozy because you get a big surprise. You get to stay 94 00:07:04,770 --> 00:07:06,110 home with mommy all day long. 95 00:07:55,660 --> 00:07:58,740 Special welcome to the birthday girl, Gracie. 96 00:08:00,700 --> 00:08:01,860 Girls, please. 97 00:08:02,640 --> 00:08:05,540 Screaming is neither fetching nor winsome. 98 00:08:05,780 --> 00:08:09,400 We use indoor voices or no one gets crumpets. 99 00:08:12,780 --> 00:08:14,120 I must have had her. 100 00:08:20,260 --> 00:08:23,120 We begin with the national girl. 101 00:08:24,580 --> 00:08:27,400 Traditionally read by the mother of the birthday girl. 102 00:08:27,640 --> 00:08:30,060 But due to her being... Knocked up. 103 00:08:31,240 --> 00:08:37,179 As I was saying, since the mother isn't here, perhaps the father would like to 104 00:08:37,179 --> 00:08:38,179 read. 105 00:08:44,059 --> 00:08:45,060 I, 106 00:08:48,120 --> 00:08:49,760 as a national girl... 107 00:08:53,710 --> 00:08:59,110 to proudly and lovingly care for my doll and myself. 108 00:09:00,970 --> 00:09:06,450 My outfit will always be clean and my hair will always be braided. 109 00:09:08,550 --> 00:09:09,550 Zip it. 110 00:09:10,430 --> 00:09:12,310 And I promise to always 111 00:10:02,380 --> 00:10:05,300 Today, her hair is braided in a double flip twist. 112 00:10:08,060 --> 00:10:11,820 Born into the merchant class, Priscilla came over on the Mayflower. 113 00:10:12,300 --> 00:10:17,100 And, after a stormy six -month courtship, married an apothecary. 114 00:10:19,300 --> 00:10:21,680 Those apothecaries got all the tail. 115 00:10:24,280 --> 00:10:27,320 How long do you think it would take to beat me unconscious with one of these 116 00:10:27,320 --> 00:10:28,320 dolls? 117 00:10:29,920 --> 00:10:31,400 Gracie, it's your turn. 118 00:10:31,950 --> 00:10:33,610 I'll be back later with cake. 119 00:10:34,190 --> 00:10:35,650 Make her say cake again. 120 00:10:36,750 --> 00:10:38,570 I'm sorry, what is that you're bringing back? 121 00:10:39,190 --> 00:10:40,190 Cake. 122 00:10:46,970 --> 00:10:51,090 This is Constance Higginbottom. She does stuff. 123 00:10:51,310 --> 00:10:53,610 I lost her once. We found her behind the... 124 00:11:09,900 --> 00:11:10,899 Having a good time? 125 00:11:10,900 --> 00:11:12,400 No, this party's stupid. 126 00:11:13,120 --> 00:11:14,500 You wish you were here with your mommy. 127 00:11:15,180 --> 00:11:17,000 No, I wish I wasn't here. 128 00:11:18,360 --> 00:11:21,420 What are you talking about? I thought this is what you wanted. 129 00:11:21,780 --> 00:11:22,860 Yeah, a year ago. 130 00:11:23,340 --> 00:11:24,400 I was a kid then. 131 00:11:25,100 --> 00:11:26,420 Well, why didn't you say something? 132 00:11:27,060 --> 00:11:28,800 Mom was so excited about this. 133 00:11:29,300 --> 00:11:30,780 And you said we shouldn't upset her. 134 00:11:32,100 --> 00:11:33,100 Crap. 135 00:11:34,540 --> 00:11:35,700 There's a lesson in this. 136 00:11:36,270 --> 00:11:39,250 This is what happens when you think of other people before yourself. 137 00:11:40,870 --> 00:11:43,890 I guess I just wanted to make sure Mommy got the party she wanted. 138 00:11:45,910 --> 00:11:47,050 Oh, you're a sweet kid. 139 00:11:47,910 --> 00:11:49,270 You get that from me, you know. 140 00:11:50,990 --> 00:11:52,650 But I'm going to look like her, right? 141 00:11:57,190 --> 00:11:58,290 Well, let's hope so. 142 00:12:00,190 --> 00:12:01,190 Hey, you know what? 143 00:12:02,390 --> 00:12:03,850 Why don't we give your mother... 144 00:12:04,510 --> 00:12:06,350 The tea party that she wanted for you. 145 00:12:07,510 --> 00:12:09,550 Here. Pick up that teacup. 146 00:12:11,350 --> 00:12:12,530 Okay. Smile. 147 00:12:14,450 --> 00:12:16,170 There. Look at that. 148 00:12:16,770 --> 00:12:17,790 There's a tea party. 149 00:12:18,330 --> 00:12:22,370 Now, let's throw the party that you wanted. What do you want to do? We can 150 00:12:22,370 --> 00:12:25,530 anything. Can we go play laser tag or paintball? 151 00:12:26,570 --> 00:12:30,110 We can do anything you want at a place we've already put a deposit down on. 152 00:12:31,110 --> 00:12:32,110 Like here. 153 00:12:32,750 --> 00:12:34,350 There's nothing here but stupid dolls. 154 00:12:35,350 --> 00:12:37,030 You see stupid dolls. 155 00:12:38,890 --> 00:12:40,850 I see braided targets. 156 00:12:43,190 --> 00:12:48,370 This is Constance Higginbottom, charged with being stupid and betraying her 157 00:12:48,370 --> 00:12:49,830 country. Commence firing! 158 00:12:51,910 --> 00:12:53,570 Happy birthday, Gracie! 159 00:12:55,230 --> 00:12:58,510 Hey, Dad, can I go shoot Uncle Andy in his big fat head? 160 00:12:59,310 --> 00:13:00,350 It's your day! 161 00:13:37,960 --> 00:13:38,960 And one cupcake. 162 00:13:39,300 --> 00:13:40,980 And you know I'm not going to throw the cupcake. 163 00:13:41,300 --> 00:13:42,740 This is the best party ever. 164 00:13:43,060 --> 00:13:44,520 Yeah, well, the party's over. 165 00:13:45,140 --> 00:13:49,100 Now, give me the cupcake nice and easy or I swear to God I'll do this doll 166 00:13:49,100 --> 00:13:50,100 now. 167 00:13:51,140 --> 00:13:52,840 The last thing you need is a cupcake. 168 00:14:41,960 --> 00:14:43,520 I use often, but it fits perfectly. 169 00:14:44,760 --> 00:14:46,760 Hey! You're going down, lady! 170 00:14:47,140 --> 00:14:48,140 Hey! 171 00:14:48,640 --> 00:14:49,640 What was that? 172 00:14:49,880 --> 00:14:50,880 Oh, that? 173 00:14:51,320 --> 00:14:52,580 That was a crumpet. 174 00:14:53,260 --> 00:14:56,560 Yeah, they're running all over the place. It's like a petting zoo here. 175 00:14:57,040 --> 00:14:58,220 How are things at home? 176 00:14:58,720 --> 00:15:03,760 Okay. I mean, I miss you guys, but Kyle's having fun. 177 00:15:05,560 --> 00:15:06,560 Right, Kyle? 178 00:15:21,740 --> 00:15:27,840 so sorry honey but i'm getting my hair braided bye how's mommy 179 00:15:27,840 --> 00:15:31,060 oh she's great she wanted me to say 180 00:15:51,280 --> 00:15:53,380 be safe here. The question is... 181 00:16:25,520 --> 00:16:29,540 We'll show Mommy the pictures of the fake party, tell her how great it was, 182 00:16:29,540 --> 00:16:30,540 then we're out of there. 183 00:16:31,700 --> 00:16:33,060 Jim, is that you? 184 00:16:34,980 --> 00:16:36,040 Yes, Mommy. 185 00:16:39,920 --> 00:16:41,180 Hey. Hi. 186 00:16:41,980 --> 00:16:42,980 Hey, guys. 187 00:16:43,500 --> 00:16:44,680 So how was your day? 188 00:16:44,940 --> 00:16:48,280 I don't know what hormones are, but I'm never getting pregnant. Oh. 189 00:16:50,160 --> 00:16:52,300 How was your party? Tell me everything. 190 00:16:57,960 --> 00:16:58,960 Take a picture. 191 00:17:00,180 --> 00:17:03,160 She's kind of worn out, so why don't we just get her to bed now? 192 00:17:03,560 --> 00:17:05,880 Oh, my God, so happy. 193 00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:09,040 So very, very happy. 194 00:17:10,920 --> 00:17:13,079 Cheryl! Cheryl, what's the matter? Cheryl! 195 00:17:13,640 --> 00:17:17,520 Oh, it was the best party ever, and I missed it. 196 00:17:18,079 --> 00:17:19,079 Come on, come on. 197 00:17:19,460 --> 00:17:20,460 Cheryl, 198 00:17:22,760 --> 00:17:24,180 Cheryl, Cheryl, look at me. 199 00:17:24,540 --> 00:17:25,540 Cheryl, look at me. 200 00:17:25,859 --> 00:17:26,859 Cheryl. 201 00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:29,840 It's going to be okay. 202 00:17:30,180 --> 00:17:31,640 It's not okay. 203 00:17:32,840 --> 00:17:37,060 It was the perfect party, and I wasn't even there. 204 00:17:37,600 --> 00:17:41,480 All right, it wasn't the perfect party, all right? I swear. 205 00:17:42,360 --> 00:17:48,200 The fact is, National Girl Store threw us out, banned us for life, and we'll 206 00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:49,200 probably get sued. 207 00:17:57,870 --> 00:17:58,509 What'd you do? 208 00:17:58,510 --> 00:17:59,510 Steal a cupcake? 209 00:17:59,550 --> 00:18:00,810 Did you sneak in beer? 210 00:18:02,230 --> 00:18:03,230 Oh, my God. 211 00:18:03,310 --> 00:18:04,970 What? Your harmonica. 212 00:18:05,970 --> 00:18:08,670 Did you play your harmonica? 213 00:18:10,710 --> 00:18:15,130 Poor Gracie. Not poor Gracie! And I'm pretty hot on the harmonica. 214 00:18:16,870 --> 00:18:21,550 That little girl has dreamed about that party all year, and you ruined it! 215 00:18:21,770 --> 00:18:23,070 Cheryl, Cheryl, here's the good news. 216 00:18:23,290 --> 00:18:27,210 The good news is she didn't want that party. I gave her a better one. 217 00:18:27,480 --> 00:18:31,100 What are you talking about? She didn't want that party. She didn't want that 218 00:18:31,100 --> 00:18:35,060 party. Honestly, God, she liked this party. Look, look, look, look, let me 219 00:18:35,060 --> 00:18:36,240 you. Look, look, right here. 220 00:18:37,260 --> 00:18:38,260 Okay. 221 00:18:38,800 --> 00:18:40,080 All right. You see that? 222 00:18:40,880 --> 00:18:44,360 Okay, that's Gracie assassinating Priscilla Feeney. 223 00:18:44,720 --> 00:18:46,800 She is a great shot. 224 00:18:47,260 --> 00:18:48,660 She gets that from you, baby. 225 00:18:49,820 --> 00:18:53,980 And there is Ruby and Gracie mowing down Tabitha. 226 00:18:55,160 --> 00:18:56,580 And there is... 227 00:18:56,860 --> 00:18:58,920 Tabitha's mother picking her up early from the party. 228 00:19:00,300 --> 00:19:02,200 There's me with two cupcakes in my mouth. 229 00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:04,960 See, a good time was had by all. 230 00:19:05,900 --> 00:19:06,900 What's that? 231 00:19:08,480 --> 00:19:10,920 Looks like an upskirt of Mrs. Whitney. 232 00:19:12,060 --> 00:19:13,060 Damn it, Andy. 233 00:19:14,520 --> 00:19:17,940 So, that's really what Gracie wanted? 234 00:19:18,180 --> 00:19:19,180 Yes, honey. 235 00:19:19,660 --> 00:19:23,000 You have to understand, she grew out of those dolls. 236 00:19:23,700 --> 00:19:26,160 She said this was the best party ever. 237 00:19:27,180 --> 00:19:28,180 A happy day. 238 00:19:30,300 --> 00:19:31,600 Come on, Cheryl. 239 00:19:32,160 --> 00:19:33,600 Come on, Cheryl. 240 00:19:34,100 --> 00:19:36,800 I don't even know my own daughter. 241 00:19:37,980 --> 00:19:39,160 Come on, Cheryl. 242 00:19:41,140 --> 00:19:42,660 You really are down. 243 00:19:57,000 --> 00:19:59,800 Cheryl, I know you feel alone. 244 00:20:00,980 --> 00:20:05,460 But you've got to understand, even though you're swimming in that hormonal 245 00:20:05,460 --> 00:20:10,060 in your head, you've got to know that you are the center of this family. 246 00:20:11,800 --> 00:20:12,659 Are you? 247 00:20:12,660 --> 00:20:13,660 Yes. 248 00:20:14,820 --> 00:20:16,220 Cheryl, you always have been. 249 00:20:17,080 --> 00:20:18,800 And we've always been there for you. 250 00:20:21,360 --> 00:20:22,360 Cheryl. 251 00:20:25,889 --> 00:20:29,750 Why are you crying now? What is this? Is this a happy, sad, or crazy cry? 252 00:20:31,270 --> 00:20:32,410 It's kind of a mixture. 253 00:20:34,230 --> 00:20:38,970 You know, it's just... It's only going to be a few more months now that this 254 00:20:38,970 --> 00:20:40,630 family is just the five of us. 255 00:20:42,530 --> 00:20:43,630 I'm missing it. 256 00:20:50,950 --> 00:20:54,870 Cheryl Mabel, you're not going to miss anything. 257 00:20:56,270 --> 00:20:57,270 Okay. 258 00:20:59,430 --> 00:21:00,450 Mama's the queen. 259 00:21:01,050 --> 00:21:04,430 And Andy and I are going to lead a charge in the castle. 260 00:21:05,310 --> 00:21:09,610 Got it? Thank you. It's so nice to not feel isolated. 261 00:21:10,070 --> 00:21:11,070 Okay. 262 00:21:12,830 --> 00:21:13,830 Cheryl. 263 00:21:15,050 --> 00:21:17,050 Cheryl, you can't cry during an attack. 264 00:21:18,610 --> 00:21:19,610 What's wrong? 265 00:21:19,930 --> 00:21:25,710 I just... I just... I can't believe that... You would fall for that. 18389