Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,170 --> 00:00:03,790
Oh, that's a great idea, Jim. Right?
2
00:00:04,090 --> 00:00:08,690
If you watch a video of the first half
of the Super Bowl twice, it's like the
3
00:00:08,690 --> 00:00:09,690
Bears win.
4
00:00:11,130 --> 00:00:12,350
Hey, give me one of those chips.
5
00:00:12,630 --> 00:00:14,330
Oh, sorry, I just finished them.
6
00:00:15,450 --> 00:00:17,190
That was the last bag in the house.
7
00:00:17,510 --> 00:00:20,330
Sorry. Go get some more. Get them.
8
00:00:33,320 --> 00:00:34,320
Here you go.
9
00:00:36,540 --> 00:00:37,540
Thanks, buddy.
10
00:00:43,200 --> 00:00:44,340
Got any pretzels in there?
11
00:00:46,540 --> 00:00:47,540
Oh, no, let me check.
12
00:00:55,880 --> 00:00:56,880
Oh, baby.
13
00:00:59,140 --> 00:01:01,000
Hey, what's all this?
14
00:01:01,380 --> 00:01:02,380
Mom said...
15
00:01:03,950 --> 00:01:04,950
With the good plates?
16
00:01:07,130 --> 00:01:08,950
All right, what's going on? Did I forget
something?
17
00:01:09,390 --> 00:01:12,250
Mom's making a piece for a king because
she says you're our king.
18
00:01:15,130 --> 00:01:17,610
Really? No, just kidding. What?
19
00:01:19,010 --> 00:01:20,010
It's your anniversary.
20
00:01:20,310 --> 00:01:21,310
You forgot.
21
00:01:22,870 --> 00:01:24,110
Oh, crap.
22
00:01:26,170 --> 00:01:27,470
Just kidding. What?
23
00:01:33,870 --> 00:01:35,530
These plates are for strangers?
24
00:01:37,950 --> 00:01:41,330
Okay, you didn't see me. I'm not here.
I'll see you next week.
25
00:02:12,460 --> 00:02:13,580
the candlesticks out of the pantry?
26
00:02:15,280 --> 00:02:16,420
What's going on here, honey?
27
00:02:16,980 --> 00:02:19,060
It's Saturday night. It's our dinner
party club.
28
00:02:21,640 --> 00:02:23,660
Dinner party club?
29
00:02:23,940 --> 00:02:26,560
What the hell is a dinner party club?
30
00:02:27,640 --> 00:02:31,120
I told you about this. Could you please
just decant the wine?
31
00:02:31,800 --> 00:02:34,060
Even if I knew what that word meant, I
wouldn't do it.
32
00:02:35,940 --> 00:02:37,060
What's going on here?
33
00:02:37,700 --> 00:02:40,060
Okay. Ten people from the neighborhood.
34
00:02:40,670 --> 00:02:43,030
Once a month, we're going to get
together and have dinner at someone's
35
00:02:43,430 --> 00:02:46,110
Cheryl, I do not remember hearing about
this.
36
00:02:46,630 --> 00:02:49,490
Well, we talked about it when we were
watching the football game.
37
00:02:51,950 --> 00:02:54,630
All right, right, right. What football
game was that again?
38
00:02:55,670 --> 00:02:56,830
Bears and Lions.
39
00:02:57,050 --> 00:02:59,050
Yeah. All right, great game.
40
00:02:59,350 --> 00:03:00,830
Uh -huh. What was the score?
41
00:03:02,650 --> 00:03:04,110
Five to four. Ha -ha!
42
00:03:05,210 --> 00:03:06,930
You never told me. You lied.
43
00:03:07,270 --> 00:03:08,270
That is crazy.
44
00:03:08,430 --> 00:03:11,020
Why would I... Why would I do that?
Because you know if you told me, I would
45
00:03:11,020 --> 00:03:13,080
have said no, which I'm saying right
now. No!
46
00:03:13,360 --> 00:03:14,360
It's too late.
47
00:03:14,500 --> 00:03:15,500
This is happening.
48
00:03:15,840 --> 00:03:16,819
Go upstairs.
49
00:03:16,820 --> 00:03:19,440
Your suit and tie are on the bed. Fine,
I'll put my suit under there and I'll
50
00:03:19,440 --> 00:03:20,440
hang myself with a tie.
51
00:03:23,300 --> 00:03:24,300
Come on.
52
00:03:24,820 --> 00:03:26,660
I just want to be a part of our
neighborhood.
53
00:03:27,140 --> 00:03:29,420
Why? So we can have friends.
54
00:03:30,480 --> 00:03:31,480
Why?
55
00:03:32,920 --> 00:03:33,920
This is crazy.
56
00:03:34,420 --> 00:03:37,200
Why can't you just appreciate what I do
for us? Because...
57
00:03:37,850 --> 00:03:41,190
Taking something that I love, dinner,
and ruining it with something I hate,
58
00:03:41,310 --> 00:03:42,310
people.
59
00:03:43,070 --> 00:03:46,590
There isn't a man in this world that
would appreciate something like this.
60
00:03:46,970 --> 00:03:49,170
Only two hours till dinner party, club!
61
00:03:51,830 --> 00:03:56,210
I hate that you get to leave.
62
00:03:58,630 --> 00:03:59,630
Hey, wait a minute, listen.
63
00:03:59,870 --> 00:04:02,050
What if I slipped you 20 bucks and you
got sick?
64
00:04:02,330 --> 00:04:04,030
That way mom would cancel the shindig.
65
00:04:05,900 --> 00:04:08,120
eating nuggets and watching Planet of
the Apes.
66
00:04:10,960 --> 00:04:12,160
Dinner party club.
67
00:04:12,400 --> 00:04:13,400
That sucks.
68
00:04:14,360 --> 00:04:16,560
I'd like to meet the moron who invented
women.
69
00:04:17,740 --> 00:04:18,740
Hello, Jim.
70
00:04:21,540 --> 00:04:22,540
Hey, buddy.
71
00:04:22,840 --> 00:04:24,880
Party doesn't start for a couple hours,
okay?
72
00:04:25,620 --> 00:04:27,580
And no one sits in my chair.
73
00:04:28,080 --> 00:04:29,080
I'm God.
74
00:04:35,310 --> 00:04:36,510
You're still in my chair.
75
00:04:38,670 --> 00:04:40,050
Yeah, real comfy, too.
76
00:04:40,830 --> 00:04:42,090
So, you wanted to meet me?
77
00:04:42,350 --> 00:04:45,770
Yes. I always have wanted to meet you. I
got a couple questions for you. One is
78
00:04:45,770 --> 00:04:46,890
the Cubs, 100 years.
79
00:04:47,370 --> 00:04:48,370
Come on, man.
80
00:04:48,550 --> 00:04:50,670
Are the Cubs ever going to win the World
Series?
81
00:04:51,070 --> 00:04:52,330
Sure they'll win. Yes!
82
00:04:52,690 --> 00:04:53,690
Just not in my lifetime.
83
00:04:55,630 --> 00:04:57,430
What did they ever do to you?
84
00:04:57,890 --> 00:05:00,770
Well, for one thing, you called me a
moron.
85
00:05:02,410 --> 00:05:04,590
When did they do that?
86
00:05:06,479 --> 00:05:08,740
Sure would like to meet the moron who
invented women.
87
00:05:13,180 --> 00:05:14,900
I'm a handsome, handsome man.
88
00:05:16,380 --> 00:05:18,180
You did a good job there, guy.
89
00:05:18,920 --> 00:05:22,000
I gotta tell you, though, Jim, I've been
listening to you complain about women
90
00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:24,920
for years, and I'm sick of it. Oh, come
on, what are you gonna do, smite me?
91
00:05:26,000 --> 00:05:27,560
Do you know what smite means?
92
00:05:29,140 --> 00:05:30,140
Yeah.
93
00:05:30,300 --> 00:05:31,360
Like, pinch?
94
00:05:33,340 --> 00:05:37,200
No, I'm not here to smite you. I'm here
to give you a chance. You think you can
95
00:05:37,200 --> 00:05:38,480
do a better job with women?
96
00:05:38,740 --> 00:05:39,740
Uh, yeah.
97
00:05:39,880 --> 00:05:41,520
Okay. They're all yours.
98
00:05:42,560 --> 00:05:45,600
I hereby grant you my powers to change
all of womankind.
99
00:05:46,240 --> 00:05:47,360
Beginning now.
100
00:05:49,320 --> 00:05:50,320
That's it?
101
00:05:50,660 --> 00:05:52,080
That's your thing? You just snap?
102
00:05:52,340 --> 00:05:55,880
You just remember. You change one woman,
you change them all. Forever.
103
00:05:56,900 --> 00:05:58,740
Giant boobs on all of them!
104
00:06:33,840 --> 00:06:34,599
Jim, what's up?
105
00:06:34,600 --> 00:06:36,280
Oh, I am glad you're here.
106
00:06:36,540 --> 00:06:40,560
God gave me a special assignment to
redesign women any way I wanted.
107
00:06:42,860 --> 00:06:44,200
Big boobs on all of them.
108
00:06:47,380 --> 00:06:49,040
We're talking about all women.
109
00:06:49,640 --> 00:06:50,640
Oh, God, Mom.
110
00:06:53,040 --> 00:06:57,580
All right, let me... Wait a minute. You
just believe what I had to say here?
111
00:06:57,720 --> 00:06:59,960
About God? I mean, no questions asked?
112
00:07:00,220 --> 00:07:03,910
Jim. I went with you to Minnesota to
catch a magical giant fish.
113
00:07:05,730 --> 00:07:07,650
Where you go, I will follow.
114
00:07:09,090 --> 00:07:12,970
What do you have so far? Well, I got all
the bad stuff I'm cutting.
115
00:07:13,310 --> 00:07:15,090
Like emotions. Get rid of all those.
116
00:07:16,090 --> 00:07:17,990
Get rid of all the crazy ideas.
117
00:07:18,410 --> 00:07:20,490
Their pickiness about who they'll sleep
with.
118
00:07:20,770 --> 00:07:21,770
Yes.
119
00:07:21,910 --> 00:07:23,770
And the talking. The talking.
120
00:07:24,210 --> 00:07:25,210
Yeah,
121
00:07:25,390 --> 00:07:26,650
yeah. Get rid of all the talking.
122
00:07:26,870 --> 00:07:30,230
You know what? I think it's better if
women were more like men.
123
00:07:30,720 --> 00:07:31,900
That's still with the boobs, right?
124
00:07:33,460 --> 00:07:35,840
No, I'm going to get rid of the one
thing that does work.
125
00:07:37,120 --> 00:07:40,260
So, how do you make your will be known?
Easy, just like this.
126
00:07:40,960 --> 00:07:43,220
Let women be like men.
127
00:07:45,100 --> 00:07:46,100
What's up, losers?
128
00:07:48,900 --> 00:07:50,060
You're not watching the game?
129
00:07:50,340 --> 00:07:51,540
Oh, we forgot it was on.
130
00:07:52,720 --> 00:07:53,720
Losers.
131
00:07:54,700 --> 00:07:56,040
You go over, butt wife.
132
00:07:59,020 --> 00:08:00,440
Yeah, let's watch the game.
133
00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:02,340
40 bucks as he hits his free throw.
134
00:08:02,960 --> 00:08:05,580
Jim, it's like she's a man.
135
00:08:08,260 --> 00:08:10,540
Jim, it's like he's an idiot.
136
00:08:13,580 --> 00:08:14,820
Who wants a beer?
137
00:08:15,080 --> 00:08:16,280
What is that, like a cooler?
138
00:08:16,480 --> 00:08:17,540
Cooler and you, butt wipe.
139
00:08:19,540 --> 00:08:22,200
Do not go into that bathroom.
140
00:08:24,320 --> 00:08:27,360
I just made room for dinner and maybe
breakfast tomorrow.
141
00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:31,510
What's up, butt wipe?
142
00:08:32,630 --> 00:08:36,890
Hey, I'll tell you what's up. The stupid
dinner party club thing you got planned
143
00:08:36,890 --> 00:08:37,649
for tonight.
144
00:08:37,650 --> 00:08:38,650
I know, right?
145
00:08:38,789 --> 00:08:43,110
Guess what I agreed to that. I am such a
horse's ass that time of the month. Oh,
146
00:08:43,110 --> 00:08:44,110
seriously.
147
00:08:44,830 --> 00:08:46,410
Wish we could do away with that.
148
00:08:46,730 --> 00:08:47,850
Oof. Done.
149
00:08:49,770 --> 00:08:52,550
Now there'll only be three periods, all
of them in hockey.
150
00:08:55,530 --> 00:08:57,250
Hey, I'll tell you what we'll do.
151
00:08:57,580 --> 00:09:01,440
When the guests show up, we give them a
turkey leg, a beer, and a map home. Oh,
152
00:09:01,440 --> 00:09:02,440
yeah.
153
00:09:03,120 --> 00:09:04,740
I just love you.
154
00:09:04,960 --> 00:09:08,480
Yeah? If you really love me, you'll take
me upstairs and knock one out before
155
00:09:08,480 --> 00:09:09,480
sports center starts.
156
00:09:12,300 --> 00:09:15,560
You got five minutes. Knock one out and
take a three -minute nap.
157
00:09:19,420 --> 00:09:20,480
I know, right?
158
00:09:21,540 --> 00:09:22,540
I'm gonna move on.
159
00:09:27,630 --> 00:09:29,330
Make her say my name, buddy.
160
00:09:37,070 --> 00:09:38,070
I'm done.
161
00:09:40,070 --> 00:09:43,130
You know, I don't have a watch, but I
think I just said a new record.
162
00:09:44,690 --> 00:09:47,530
Actually, I... I didn't finish.
163
00:09:50,490 --> 00:09:51,490
Aww.
164
00:09:51,830 --> 00:09:52,830
I'll owe you one.
165
00:09:54,730 --> 00:09:56,010
But in the meantime...
166
00:09:56,410 --> 00:09:58,290
Please accept this lovely parting gift.
167
00:10:04,810 --> 00:10:05,810
Okay.
168
00:10:14,290 --> 00:10:17,690
In a fair fight, you versus Superman.
169
00:10:18,710 --> 00:10:21,170
Me? Totally, totally.
170
00:10:22,430 --> 00:10:23,610
A little tougher.
171
00:10:23,870 --> 00:10:25,910
You versus Chuck Norris.
172
00:10:26,300 --> 00:10:27,300
Still me.
173
00:10:29,100 --> 00:10:30,300
You versus Oprah?
174
00:10:32,420 --> 00:10:33,500
I knew it!
175
00:10:35,560 --> 00:10:38,760
Hey, Jim, guess what? God's scared of
Oprah.
176
00:10:39,940 --> 00:10:41,560
I'm not scared, just respectful.
177
00:10:41,820 --> 00:10:46,080
Hey, you knew this was gonna happen. You
knew I was gonna mess up.
178
00:10:46,320 --> 00:10:48,460
How would I know that, Jim? I'm a moron.
179
00:10:49,980 --> 00:10:52,700
Look, I don't want to fight you, okay?
Smart move.
180
00:10:52,920 --> 00:10:54,940
If he can take Norris, he can take you.
181
00:10:56,030 --> 00:10:59,230
Look, I just want you to change women
back to the way they were.
182
00:10:59,670 --> 00:11:03,870
So, if we all agree that I got women
right the first time, I'm out of here.
183
00:11:03,990 --> 00:11:04,990
you take care of yourself.
184
00:11:05,310 --> 00:11:06,770
I won't see you for a long while.
185
00:11:07,390 --> 00:11:09,750
Andy, smoke them if you got them.
186
00:11:11,850 --> 00:11:12,850
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
187
00:11:15,690 --> 00:11:19,250
You gotta give me one more chance here.
Do you? What about me?
188
00:11:19,790 --> 00:11:23,010
I'm a short timer. How does it happen?
Am I in the throes of passion?
189
00:11:23,640 --> 00:11:25,680
That depends on how much you like
cheesecake.
190
00:11:27,340 --> 00:11:29,500
I do love it, so... Wait a minute.
191
00:11:30,180 --> 00:11:34,840
You've got to give me another chance. I
get three wishes or three chances, don't
192
00:11:34,840 --> 00:11:37,520
I? Oh, that's genies and leprechauns. I
don't work that way.
193
00:11:38,280 --> 00:11:41,840
Are you afraid if you give me another
shot at it that I might do a better job
194
00:11:41,840 --> 00:11:43,260
than you? What's your step, son?
195
00:11:43,460 --> 00:11:46,040
I won't hesitate to go Old Testament on
your behind.
196
00:11:47,470 --> 00:11:51,310
Okay, okay, God. I think what Jim's
trying to say is, you know, for
197
00:11:51,310 --> 00:11:53,350
years, men and women have been at each
other's throats.
198
00:11:53,610 --> 00:11:56,550
Yeah, yeah, I mean, come on, you gave
Noah 40 days to build that zoo.
199
00:11:57,530 --> 00:11:59,190
Why can't you give me one more shot?
200
00:11:59,510 --> 00:12:00,950
I'm still waiting for an idea.
201
00:12:02,550 --> 00:12:04,170
Well, um, okay.
202
00:12:05,030 --> 00:12:08,370
Hey, we had women being more like men.
203
00:12:08,570 --> 00:12:10,190
Maybe men should be more like women.
204
00:12:11,650 --> 00:12:14,830
That is the stupidest idea I have ever
heard.
205
00:12:15,399 --> 00:12:18,760
And besides, I got a million things to
do right now before the dinner party.
206
00:12:19,060 --> 00:12:21,940
And I'm going to have to do it all by
myself. And of course, I'll get no one
207
00:12:21,940 --> 00:12:23,660
thank me. Oh, my God, you just changed
me into a woman.
208
00:12:26,240 --> 00:12:27,240
God.
209
00:12:48,200 --> 00:12:50,020
I would kill for that metabolism.
210
00:12:51,780 --> 00:12:54,080
So, what do you think?
211
00:12:54,700 --> 00:12:56,960
Huh? Do you like it?
212
00:12:57,180 --> 00:13:00,980
With the shoes? Are you sure? Because I
got others.
213
00:13:01,300 --> 00:13:03,800
Thank you.
214
00:13:06,040 --> 00:13:07,040
What's wrong, Andy?
215
00:13:07,440 --> 00:13:08,440
Nothing.
216
00:13:09,620 --> 00:13:11,180
Come on, something's wrong.
217
00:13:11,620 --> 00:13:15,600
Well, it's just that you told Dana how
thin she was, but you didn't say
218
00:13:15,600 --> 00:13:16,600
about me.
219
00:13:21,710 --> 00:13:22,770
Did you lose weight?
220
00:13:23,450 --> 00:13:24,570
Two pounds.
221
00:13:26,630 --> 00:13:27,630
It's a start.
222
00:13:27,750 --> 00:13:29,630
Yes, very good, very good.
223
00:13:30,070 --> 00:13:34,990
Your risotto smells fantastic. Hey, just
don't make it too salty because, you
224
00:13:34,990 --> 00:13:37,890
know, when the Ferguson served it, it
was a bit much.
225
00:13:41,470 --> 00:13:42,770
What did somebody tell me?
226
00:13:43,870 --> 00:13:49,270
Jim, I am not serving something that's
been served already. I would rather die.
227
00:13:49,790 --> 00:13:52,010
Oh, okay, let's not panic.
228
00:13:52,330 --> 00:13:55,430
We don't have risotto. We have plenty of
rosemary chicken.
229
00:13:55,690 --> 00:13:58,210
Yes, because I cared enough to make two
main dishes.
230
00:13:58,790 --> 00:13:59,990
Thank you for noticing.
231
00:14:01,410 --> 00:14:03,750
I appreciate that you made chicken.
232
00:14:04,070 --> 00:14:06,270
It doesn't count if I have to ask you to
say it.
233
00:14:08,010 --> 00:14:12,370
Well, just don't try out that chicken
like Sally Dickerson did when she served
234
00:14:12,370 --> 00:14:13,370
it. Yeah.
235
00:14:15,710 --> 00:14:16,830
Sally Dickerson?
236
00:14:18,010 --> 00:14:19,760
Sally Flippin! Dickerson?
237
00:14:20,660 --> 00:14:22,940
Honey, would you just relax?
238
00:14:23,420 --> 00:14:28,160
Do not tell me to relax!
239
00:14:30,740 --> 00:14:33,820
I'm just saying, we can fix this.
240
00:14:59,310 --> 00:15:00,310
his mom.
241
00:15:02,470 --> 00:15:06,650
I mean, she says our marriage doesn't
matter and she hates me.
242
00:15:10,050 --> 00:15:11,510
Oh God, I gotta go.
243
00:15:14,330 --> 00:15:15,390
Is that the day, Alice?
244
00:15:15,770 --> 00:15:16,770
Yes.
245
00:15:19,030 --> 00:15:21,810
I just don't like this being a woman
anymore.
246
00:15:22,010 --> 00:15:25,150
I want to be a man again and now my eyes
are going to be all red for the dinner
247
00:15:25,150 --> 00:15:26,150
party.
248
00:15:27,370 --> 00:15:29,490
Are you saying you want me to change you
back?
249
00:15:29,770 --> 00:15:30,770
Yes.
250
00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:33,170
Make me the insensitive man that I was.
251
00:15:33,990 --> 00:15:35,250
More so if you can.
252
00:15:37,650 --> 00:15:38,650
Pull my finger.
253
00:15:40,210 --> 00:15:41,210
Welcome back, Jim.
254
00:15:41,350 --> 00:15:45,930
I know you've had a long day, but I hope
you're ready to admit that men and
255
00:15:45,930 --> 00:15:48,510
women are perfect just the way I made
them. What, are you crazy?
256
00:15:49,290 --> 00:15:50,290
Come on.
257
00:15:50,570 --> 00:15:52,770
When we're hot, they're cold.
258
00:15:53,070 --> 00:15:54,650
When they're cold, we're hot.
259
00:15:55,230 --> 00:15:58,350
I mean, they think the Three Stooges are
stupid. We wish there were four.
260
00:15:59,590 --> 00:16:02,310
I mean, they like foreplay. We like
play.
261
00:16:03,930 --> 00:16:04,889
Come on.
262
00:16:04,890 --> 00:16:06,690
That's all part of my plan, Jim.
263
00:16:06,970 --> 00:16:07,970
Plan?
264
00:16:08,150 --> 00:16:11,950
You know what? I don't think you have a
plan. I think you're just winging it,
265
00:16:12,030 --> 00:16:13,030
baby.
266
00:16:13,050 --> 00:16:17,170
I mean, come on. Putting church and
football on Sunday at the same time?
267
00:16:18,250 --> 00:16:20,050
I mean, you're losing half your
audience.
268
00:16:21,250 --> 00:16:23,690
Fine. No more football. No, no, not the
fingers. Not the fingers.
269
00:16:25,160 --> 00:16:26,160
Come on, man.
270
00:16:30,280 --> 00:16:32,580
I love seeing you so miserable.
271
00:16:34,380 --> 00:16:36,060
Shut up and give me a kebab.
272
00:16:40,640 --> 00:16:41,640
It's not hot.
273
00:16:42,400 --> 00:16:43,760
Hotter than you, butt wipe.
274
00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:49,420
Have you had Cheryl's shrimp wrapped in
bacon?
275
00:16:49,780 --> 00:16:53,040
I gotta tell you, I've made a lot of
mistakes, but bacon ain't one of them.
276
00:16:56,300 --> 00:16:56,919
doing here?
277
00:16:56,920 --> 00:16:59,600
I figure I put you through the ringer
today, Jim.
278
00:16:59,900 --> 00:17:03,820
So to make things square, how about I
guarantee you enjoy the rest of this
279
00:17:03,820 --> 00:17:08,460
party? Look, I don't want you to think
that I don't have faith, because you did
280
00:17:08,460 --> 00:17:10,980
create puppies and rainbows and push -up
bras.
281
00:17:13,980 --> 00:17:18,520
But there is nothing that you can do to
make me enjoy this.
282
00:17:18,859 --> 00:17:21,980
Trust me on this one, Jim. Just relax
and enjoy yourself.
283
00:17:24,720 --> 00:17:26,750
Okay. I relax and enjoy myself.
284
00:17:28,610 --> 00:17:31,290
And easy on that shrimp, it's 16 bucks a
pound.
285
00:17:33,750 --> 00:17:36,730
Hey, Jim, good to see you. What are you
doing here? I didn't know you were
286
00:17:36,730 --> 00:17:39,630
invited. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, huh? I
brought your favorite beer.
287
00:17:42,250 --> 00:17:43,189
Gopher Huff?
288
00:17:43,190 --> 00:17:46,130
When you go for beer, Gopher Huff!
289
00:17:47,490 --> 00:17:48,530
Oh, hey, Jim.
290
00:17:48,930 --> 00:17:52,650
Oh, hi, Mary Beth. Hey, come with me. I
want to introduce you to my husband. I
291
00:17:52,650 --> 00:17:54,970
think you two would totally hit it off.
What makes you think that?
292
00:17:55,400 --> 00:17:56,480
Well, he worked for the Cubs.
293
00:17:57,040 --> 00:17:58,100
Oh, heavens.
294
00:18:00,300 --> 00:18:01,340
Hey, everybody.
295
00:18:02,780 --> 00:18:04,020
Oh, great.
296
00:18:04,240 --> 00:18:08,220
We're wearing the same thing. Thanks a
lot, Jim. Andy, settle down. Why didn't
297
00:18:08,220 --> 00:18:10,960
you call me? We're not girls anymore.
God changed us.
298
00:18:11,220 --> 00:18:12,560
It's still a disaster.
299
00:18:17,800 --> 00:18:21,880
Are you sure you can't stay a little
while longer? All right.
300
00:18:22,240 --> 00:18:24,080
Thank you so much for coming.
301
00:18:24,750 --> 00:18:28,750
And Willie, thank you so much for the
Heimlich. It came just in time.
302
00:18:30,410 --> 00:18:32,150
To your food.
303
00:18:32,630 --> 00:18:33,630
Yes.
304
00:18:34,350 --> 00:18:36,110
Thank you. Thank you for that. Sorry.
305
00:18:37,630 --> 00:18:39,310
Hey, the man of the hour.
306
00:18:39,890 --> 00:18:44,310
Look at you. I'm so glad to see you.
Take my chair. You deserve it. Oh, thank
307
00:18:44,310 --> 00:18:48,450
you, Jim. I hadn't been so moved since
Beyonce thanked me for her American
308
00:18:48,450 --> 00:18:49,450
Award.
309
00:18:51,210 --> 00:18:52,210
Well, I...
310
00:18:53,420 --> 00:18:56,640
I don't know what it was, but it worked
because I had a great time tonight.
311
00:18:56,900 --> 00:18:58,960
I'll tell you exactly what I did.
Nothing.
312
00:18:59,440 --> 00:19:01,740
What do you mean nothing? I saw you do
the finger thing.
313
00:19:01,940 --> 00:19:04,380
Left hand doesn't count. Right hand
throws the thunder.
314
00:19:06,180 --> 00:19:10,780
You know, tonight all I did was tell you
to relax and enjoy yourself, and you
315
00:19:10,780 --> 00:19:11,780
did.
316
00:19:12,120 --> 00:19:15,140
You lied to me. God, God, you lied to
me. Big deal.
317
00:19:15,820 --> 00:19:18,160
I just inspired you to find a higher
truth.
318
00:19:18,620 --> 00:19:20,340
Oh, that's a good one. I'm going to use
that with Cheryl.
319
00:19:22,120 --> 00:19:24,960
Once you've got a positive attitude,
everything got better.
320
00:19:25,400 --> 00:19:27,120
Maybe you ought to try that more often.
321
00:19:27,320 --> 00:19:29,320
You'd find fewer things to get mad
about.
322
00:19:29,940 --> 00:19:32,160
You know what? If I needed a sermon, I'd
go to church.
323
00:19:33,480 --> 00:19:37,900
I know you like complaining about women,
but I think what makes them different
324
00:19:37,900 --> 00:19:39,580
is what makes them great.
325
00:19:41,980 --> 00:19:42,980
Plus the boobs.
326
00:19:45,060 --> 00:19:46,060
Better than bacon.
327
00:19:48,840 --> 00:19:50,420
Hey, one more question.
328
00:19:51,150 --> 00:19:53,530
The Cubs World Series before I die?
329
00:19:54,290 --> 00:19:55,430
Oh, come on, Jim.
330
00:19:55,630 --> 00:19:56,970
One miracle at a time.
331
00:20:02,590 --> 00:20:04,610
What the hell got into you tonight?
332
00:20:04,970 --> 00:20:05,970
What do you mean?
333
00:20:06,090 --> 00:20:09,090
Uh, you were charming. You were
cheerful.
334
00:20:10,390 --> 00:20:11,870
You didn't fight with anyone.
335
00:20:12,410 --> 00:20:15,070
You didn't even pass the hat to cover
expenses.
336
00:20:17,130 --> 00:20:18,490
Well, honey, you know what?
337
00:20:18,730 --> 00:20:20,050
I had a good time.
338
00:20:24,300 --> 00:20:25,940
Thank you. Oh, don't thank me.
339
00:20:26,240 --> 00:20:27,460
Thank the big man upstairs.
340
00:20:28,680 --> 00:20:29,680
Andy's still here?
341
00:20:29,760 --> 00:20:30,760
No, no.
342
00:20:31,380 --> 00:20:32,420
No, no, no, honey.
343
00:20:33,380 --> 00:20:35,880
You know what? I want to tell you
something.
344
00:20:37,480 --> 00:20:42,480
I just want you to know that I really
appreciate everything you do.
345
00:20:43,960 --> 00:20:46,800
Even these stupid little dinner parties.
346
00:20:47,660 --> 00:20:48,660
Oh.
347
00:20:49,360 --> 00:20:50,780
And I was thinking, you know what?
348
00:20:51,340 --> 00:20:54,760
For years, people have come up to me and
asked me how I ended up with you.
349
00:20:55,320 --> 00:20:56,320
And I get that.
350
00:20:56,940 --> 00:20:59,200
But I finally figured out why I was so
lucky.
351
00:21:01,000 --> 00:21:03,600
The Lord worked in a furious way.
352
00:21:06,800 --> 00:21:07,800
Well,
353
00:21:10,420 --> 00:21:12,580
count on more of that in the future.
354
00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:21,600
Do you want to join me tomorrow for some
shoe shopping at the outlet mall?
355
00:21:24,400 --> 00:21:25,480
Oh, Cheryl.
356
00:21:26,320 --> 00:21:27,800
One miracle at a time.
25423
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof