All language subtitles for According to Jim s06e07 Cheryl Gone Wild

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:38,440 --> 00:00:41,360 Oh, I hope this is what I think it is. 2 00:00:43,280 --> 00:00:44,880 Cuties Gone Crazy, the movie. 3 00:00:45,100 --> 00:00:47,140 It is, it is what I think it is. 4 00:00:49,280 --> 00:00:50,280 Boobies. 5 00:00:51,140 --> 00:00:52,720 You know what I love about these films? 6 00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:56,280 You always think that that girl is so sweet, she'll never show them. 7 00:00:56,520 --> 00:00:58,660 Then something magical happens, and she does. 8 00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:04,319 Yep. My college buddy Steve sent me this, and he said the hottest chick he's 9 00:01:04,319 --> 00:01:05,319 ever seen is on this thing. 10 00:01:05,880 --> 00:01:08,420 Cutie's Gone Crazy, Spring Break, Florida. 11 00:01:08,980 --> 00:01:09,980 Solid installment. 12 00:01:10,180 --> 00:01:12,140 Best you can do on American soil, anyway. 13 00:01:14,140 --> 00:01:16,600 International waters, that's where the real action is. 14 00:01:17,860 --> 00:01:21,400 Wait, you've seen this one already? I've seen them all. How far in is she? He 15 00:01:21,400 --> 00:01:23,860 said 20 minutes. 20 minutes, huh? Yeah, I haven't seen her. 16 00:01:26,460 --> 00:01:27,460 Don't judge me. 17 00:01:29,280 --> 00:01:31,860 Aren't you even a little curious about what's going on in there? 18 00:01:32,460 --> 00:01:34,560 There's three men in there and the kids are out of the house. 19 00:01:34,990 --> 00:01:36,610 It's either lighting farts or watching porn. 20 00:01:41,130 --> 00:01:43,590 What if Cheryl and Dana come in? Oh, come on, Doc. 21 00:01:43,890 --> 00:01:47,790 It's not the first time Andy and I have enjoyed sophisticated erotica. 22 00:01:49,670 --> 00:01:51,550 We have a system. And go. 23 00:01:52,530 --> 00:01:56,590 I got the lookout. I hit the input button. It goes right to ESPN. If they 24 00:01:56,590 --> 00:01:59,410 in, code word is whirlybird. Repeat whirlybird. Come back. 25 00:01:59,890 --> 00:02:00,890 Whirlybird. 26 00:02:01,770 --> 00:02:03,270 Doc, he said come back. 27 00:02:05,530 --> 00:02:06,530 Whirlybird. 28 00:02:07,450 --> 00:02:09,810 Andy, we are go for boobies. 29 00:02:13,650 --> 00:02:14,650 Don't watch me. 30 00:02:20,790 --> 00:02:23,390 Well, you may not care, but I do. I'm taking a peek. 31 00:02:25,910 --> 00:02:26,910 Nice. 32 00:02:28,990 --> 00:02:31,830 Oh, my God. Cheryl, they're watching Cuties Gone Crazy. 33 00:02:32,410 --> 00:02:33,410 They're watching what? 34 00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:44,480 Okay, you know what? You know what? Calm down. Calm down. There are like 500 of 35 00:02:44,480 --> 00:02:47,700 those. What are the odds that they're watching Fort Lauderdale? Yeah. 36 00:02:49,380 --> 00:02:51,660 So, Amber, how do you like Fort Lauderdale? 37 00:02:54,040 --> 00:03:00,000 I don't want my husband to see me topless. 38 00:03:01,720 --> 00:03:02,720 You know what I mean? 39 00:03:03,320 --> 00:03:05,380 All right. You know what? 40 00:03:05,640 --> 00:03:07,260 They obviously haven't seen us yet. 41 00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:09,260 So you are going to follow my lead. 42 00:03:10,090 --> 00:03:11,090 We'll get through this together. 43 00:03:11,350 --> 00:03:12,350 Okay. Okay. 44 00:03:14,950 --> 00:03:16,270 DeMarco, how old are you? 45 00:03:16,830 --> 00:03:17,830 Eighteen. 46 00:03:18,430 --> 00:03:19,430 Damn, girl. 47 00:03:21,490 --> 00:03:24,050 What the hell are you watching? Willie Bird! Willie Bird! 48 00:03:25,830 --> 00:03:28,770 We're watching some ESPN, baby. 49 00:03:29,250 --> 00:03:33,270 Come on, you know how much I love men's figure skating. 50 00:03:36,240 --> 00:03:39,380 Oh, what the hell? What am I trying to hide anything for? We're watching drunk 51 00:03:39,380 --> 00:03:40,580 girls take their tops off. 52 00:03:41,840 --> 00:03:43,660 You know what? No, no, no. Off. 53 00:03:43,880 --> 00:03:48,260 Turn this off. Come on. Sit down and watch it. Oh, my God. 54 00:03:48,800 --> 00:03:49,860 I'm having my baby. 55 00:03:50,160 --> 00:03:51,160 What? What? 56 00:03:51,720 --> 00:03:57,160 Eventually. And I don't want our unborn child to see this filth. Turn it off. 57 00:03:57,480 --> 00:04:01,320 Oh, no. Let these girls pump up the tires. You can still ride the bike. 58 00:04:31,950 --> 00:04:34,130 your top in a Cuties Gone Crazy video? 59 00:04:34,850 --> 00:04:37,650 Yeah. I told you about that. 60 00:04:41,250 --> 00:04:42,250 Didn't I? 61 00:04:43,130 --> 00:04:47,430 No, Dana, you didn't. You said you could roller skate and bake. 62 00:04:49,630 --> 00:04:52,890 But Drunken Bar Flasher never came up. 63 00:04:53,890 --> 00:04:56,830 All right, all right, all right. Doc, Doc, easy. 64 00:04:57,350 --> 00:04:58,610 Easy. Easy. 65 00:04:58,990 --> 00:05:00,530 Like Dana on spring break. 66 00:05:05,520 --> 00:05:08,520 We paused it before we saw boobs, so no one has to go to hell or anything. 67 00:05:08,960 --> 00:05:12,980 Come on, Ryan. It was years ago. We all do stupid things. 68 00:05:13,260 --> 00:05:14,940 I mean, what were you doing right out of school? 69 00:05:15,660 --> 00:05:20,000 I was in Africa, working with Doctors Without Borders vaccinating orphans. 70 00:05:20,940 --> 00:05:24,620 Oh, well, so if they had parents, you wouldn't vaccinate them? 71 00:05:26,100 --> 00:05:28,600 That's kind of messed up. All I did was lift my shirt up. 72 00:05:29,580 --> 00:05:33,120 Come on, Ryan. This happened before you even knew her. 73 00:05:33,770 --> 00:05:36,890 You're just going to have to get over it. Get over it? Yeah. 74 00:05:37,130 --> 00:05:39,650 If Cheryl had done this, you wouldn't get over it. You'd go ballistic. 75 00:05:40,610 --> 00:05:42,590 Ballistic? Not Jim. 76 00:05:44,390 --> 00:05:48,650 And besides, it wasn't Cheryl. It was Dana. 77 00:05:48,970 --> 00:05:49,970 Just Dana. 78 00:05:50,290 --> 00:05:51,290 Right. 79 00:05:52,070 --> 00:05:55,530 So, Doc, lighten up a little bit. 80 00:05:56,010 --> 00:05:58,010 Look, her big secret is out now. 81 00:05:58,410 --> 00:06:01,590 The best we can do is watch it and make fun of her. No! 82 00:06:05,230 --> 00:06:08,350 We should eat. Let's all go in the kitchen. Oh, I'm hungry. No, no, no, no, 83 00:06:08,370 --> 00:06:09,370 You know what, Cheryl? 84 00:06:11,110 --> 00:06:17,830 They already know I'm on it, so why don't we all just sit down and watch the 85 00:06:17,830 --> 00:06:18,830 whole thing? 86 00:06:20,970 --> 00:06:24,070 You know what? What the hell? This is going to haunt me forever if we don't 87 00:06:24,070 --> 00:06:25,490 it, so let's see it. 88 00:06:25,710 --> 00:06:28,210 Hey, we the man up, Ryan. 89 00:06:28,410 --> 00:06:29,770 Love that. I'm proud of you. 90 00:06:31,830 --> 00:06:34,510 I'm going to keep my eyes closed. Tell me when the next hottie comes up. 91 00:06:35,280 --> 00:06:36,280 Come on, Annie. 92 00:06:36,540 --> 00:06:37,960 How bad can it be? 93 00:07:29,100 --> 00:07:30,100 my sisters? 94 00:07:31,840 --> 00:07:35,820 Sorry, Pop. This must be like getting hit by that bus all over again. 95 00:07:37,200 --> 00:07:41,020 You tell me you flash yourself into a bar room full of people? 96 00:07:41,380 --> 00:07:45,760 Dana did it first. I felt a lot of peer pressure. Pressure? Sarah, pressure? 97 00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:50,000 Pressure? You're on film now. You're on video. The whole world's gonna see it. 98 00:07:50,100 --> 00:07:51,100 Easy, Jim. 99 00:07:51,720 --> 00:07:53,680 You're just gonna have to get over it. 100 00:07:55,560 --> 00:07:59,360 Don't go throwing... my words back at me. If I wanted my advice, I'd listen to 101 00:07:59,360 --> 00:08:00,360 myself when I talked. 102 00:08:01,940 --> 00:08:03,620 I thought it wasn't that big a deal. 103 00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:09,500 Well, it's not that big of a deal. 104 00:08:11,560 --> 00:08:13,220 I mean, come on, we're all young, right? 105 00:08:14,420 --> 00:08:18,180 We all make stupid mistakes when we're young. I mean, I know I did. I mean, I 106 00:08:18,180 --> 00:08:21,820 did a really stupid thing in college. I actually shaved my initials into a 107 00:08:21,820 --> 00:08:22,820 Shetland pony. 108 00:08:28,240 --> 00:08:32,380 Come on, I like that my girl had a wild time when she was young. She had a 109 00:08:32,380 --> 00:08:34,100 little wild streak. Don't see it anymore. 110 00:08:37,919 --> 00:08:41,340 Why don't we just watch it and have some fun? Then let me leave first. 111 00:08:41,740 --> 00:08:42,619 All right? 112 00:08:42,620 --> 00:08:45,560 I'm done with smut. I'm going to go home and get rid of my entire porn 113 00:08:45,560 --> 00:08:46,560 collection. 114 00:08:47,680 --> 00:08:51,100 It's no fun when you think of girls as people with lives and families. 115 00:08:53,840 --> 00:08:55,020 Thanks a lot, skanks. 116 00:08:59,850 --> 00:09:00,850 movie fest. 117 00:09:01,090 --> 00:09:02,890 Hey, and who's this lovely lady? 118 00:09:03,190 --> 00:09:06,050 Oh, I'm Cheryl. Hey, I wanted to say hi to my kids. 119 00:09:06,270 --> 00:09:07,270 Hey, girls. 120 00:09:07,770 --> 00:09:08,770 All right, girl. 121 00:09:08,930 --> 00:09:11,310 We said hi to you girls. How about we say hi to yours? 122 00:09:11,630 --> 00:09:12,750 My girls? Yeah. 123 00:09:13,670 --> 00:09:16,390 Oh, what the hell? 124 00:09:16,830 --> 00:09:19,230 Oh, I'm sorry. You're going to have to beat that out. 125 00:09:19,670 --> 00:09:21,750 We're fine. Let's see the girls. 126 00:09:22,050 --> 00:09:23,050 Okie dokie. 127 00:09:27,850 --> 00:09:28,890 Give me a second. 128 00:09:34,040 --> 00:09:36,040 Girls, your wedding ring is on. 129 00:09:38,580 --> 00:09:41,120 You did this when you were married to me? 130 00:10:12,780 --> 00:10:16,540 thinking that this girl is so sweet, she's not going to show them. 131 00:10:18,540 --> 00:10:20,940 And then something horrible happens and she does. 132 00:10:23,220 --> 00:10:26,360 You know what? Just turn it off. The steaks are ready. 133 00:10:26,680 --> 00:10:31,940 Cheryl, I think you'll be able to tell how mad I am when I say I can't eat 134 00:10:31,940 --> 00:10:32,940 right now. 135 00:10:44,780 --> 00:10:45,780 Time ago. 136 00:10:46,480 --> 00:10:51,920 Remember when Dana and I went to Florida to visit my mother? 137 00:10:56,520 --> 00:10:58,700 Oh, my God. Your mother's in this tape? 138 00:11:00,380 --> 00:11:01,380 No. 139 00:11:01,720 --> 00:11:05,620 She watched the girls and Dana and I went out. You know, I had two kids. I 140 00:11:05,620 --> 00:11:06,620 totally overwhelmed. 141 00:11:06,640 --> 00:11:08,340 I need to go out and blow off some steam. 142 00:11:08,820 --> 00:11:10,980 You didn't blow off steam. You blew off your shirt. 143 00:11:12,880 --> 00:11:13,880 Cheryl Mabel. 144 00:11:17,800 --> 00:11:18,800 James Orenthal. 145 00:11:21,300 --> 00:11:22,660 Who else has seen our boobs? 146 00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:23,999 Our boobs? 147 00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:28,080 Yeah. You know, Jim, I'm pretty sure they're my boobs. You know, I mean, I 148 00:11:28,080 --> 00:11:30,740 thought at least I'd have half of them. I mean, I know it wasn't written in the 149 00:11:30,740 --> 00:11:33,160 wedding vows, but I thought I had exclusive viewing rights. 150 00:11:34,060 --> 00:11:35,560 Get off your high horse. 151 00:11:35,800 --> 00:11:38,900 You drop your pants and make a fool out of yourself all the time. 152 00:11:39,560 --> 00:11:42,160 It's true, but nobody wants to see me naked. 153 00:11:45,130 --> 00:11:46,310 punishing those people. 154 00:11:48,110 --> 00:11:52,130 Come on, how can you not feel bad about this? I mean, what were you thinking? 155 00:11:52,810 --> 00:11:54,290 Aren't you at least a bit sorry? 156 00:11:54,650 --> 00:11:55,730 No, I'm not. 157 00:11:56,030 --> 00:11:59,550 What? The only thing I'm sorry about is what I spent the money they gave me on. 158 00:12:01,650 --> 00:12:03,730 They gave you money? 159 00:12:05,730 --> 00:12:09,110 Yeah. And stupidly, I spent it on that chair for you. 160 00:12:14,220 --> 00:12:15,220 Back chair. 161 00:12:55,860 --> 00:12:56,940 What the 162 00:12:56,940 --> 00:13:05,040 hell? 163 00:13:06,440 --> 00:13:07,440 Cheryl? 164 00:13:08,240 --> 00:13:09,240 Cheryl! 165 00:13:09,540 --> 00:13:10,540 Hey, honey! 166 00:13:10,560 --> 00:13:14,020 Cheryl! What's going on here? Where's all our stuff? 167 00:13:14,380 --> 00:13:15,800 I put it on the lawn with the chair. 168 00:13:18,600 --> 00:13:19,600 Why'd you do that? 169 00:13:19,780 --> 00:13:23,900 Well, you know how that chair reminded you of the one allegedly stupid thing I 170 00:13:23,900 --> 00:13:27,700 did? Well, I decided to throw out all the things that remind me of all the 171 00:13:27,700 --> 00:13:29,040 stupid stuff you've done. 172 00:13:29,940 --> 00:13:32,580 Turns out, you've done a lot of stupid stuff. 173 00:13:34,580 --> 00:13:36,500 What? What's the front line? 174 00:13:36,740 --> 00:13:37,740 Cheryl! 175 00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:39,400 The piano? 176 00:13:39,600 --> 00:13:41,460 What is the piano doing out there? 177 00:13:41,760 --> 00:13:44,980 Well, the only reason we have the piano is because you convinced my aunt it was 178 00:13:44,980 --> 00:13:45,980 broken. 179 00:13:52,360 --> 00:13:53,400 The piano outside. 180 00:13:54,400 --> 00:13:55,400 Anger strength. 181 00:13:57,180 --> 00:13:58,460 You're angry? Yes. 182 00:13:58,760 --> 00:14:00,040 What are you angry about? 183 00:14:00,300 --> 00:14:02,180 I'm not the okie -dokie girl. 184 00:14:03,240 --> 00:14:05,100 No, you're the jerk. 185 00:14:05,400 --> 00:14:07,540 Wait a minute, Cheryl. 186 00:14:08,020 --> 00:14:12,320 You cannot be mad at me for the way I'm being mad at you. 187 00:14:13,360 --> 00:14:16,720 Oh, now you get to decide how I can be mad at the way you're mad? 188 00:14:17,860 --> 00:14:18,860 Yes. 189 00:14:19,760 --> 00:14:21,140 If I heard you correctly. 190 00:14:25,610 --> 00:14:27,090 How did you even get this stuff out of this house? 191 00:14:27,350 --> 00:14:29,910 I know you didn't do it. If Andy helped you, I'm going to kill him. 192 00:14:32,210 --> 00:14:34,590 No, no, no, no, no. Don't blame Andy. 193 00:14:34,850 --> 00:14:36,130 You brought this on yourself. 194 00:14:37,370 --> 00:14:39,050 Oh, so this is the way it's going to be, huh? 195 00:14:39,390 --> 00:14:41,790 Yeah, until you get your head out of your butt. 196 00:14:44,770 --> 00:14:46,410 That's not going to happen, Blondie. 197 00:14:47,610 --> 00:14:49,210 I happen to like the view. 198 00:14:51,850 --> 00:14:54,090 You know what? I don't need any of this stuff anyway. 199 00:14:57,079 --> 00:14:58,940 So, this is the way it's going to be, huh? 200 00:15:00,180 --> 00:15:03,880 Well, it's going to be this way until you grow up and say you're sorry. 201 00:15:05,640 --> 00:15:07,980 Well, I am sorry. 202 00:15:09,500 --> 00:15:11,520 That you think that's ever going to happen. 203 00:15:34,320 --> 00:15:35,320 Don't judge me. 204 00:15:49,840 --> 00:15:50,840 Something's different. 205 00:15:53,920 --> 00:15:55,620 Did you change your hair? 206 00:15:59,620 --> 00:16:02,160 Your sister's the one that's overreacting for a change. 207 00:16:02,440 --> 00:16:04,500 Oh, yeah, and you're being so level -headed. 208 00:16:05,440 --> 00:16:06,660 What? Come on, tell me. 209 00:16:07,240 --> 00:16:09,360 Ryan, did he get over you being in the video? 210 00:16:09,860 --> 00:16:11,080 Actually, yeah, he did. 211 00:16:11,520 --> 00:16:15,960 Because I told him that I made a mistake, and I was really, really sorry 212 00:16:15,960 --> 00:16:17,040 had to find out the way he did. 213 00:16:18,460 --> 00:16:19,460 Right there, that's it. 214 00:16:20,740 --> 00:16:22,780 That's an apology. That's all I need. 215 00:16:23,280 --> 00:16:25,720 An apology and maybe a slightly bigger TV. 216 00:16:28,560 --> 00:16:29,760 Why can't she apologize? 217 00:16:29,960 --> 00:16:31,440 Why can't she just say, I'm sorry? 218 00:16:32,280 --> 00:16:35,300 Look, why don't you try looking at this from Cheryl's point of view? 219 00:16:36,260 --> 00:16:37,260 Okie dokie. 220 00:16:44,980 --> 00:16:45,980 I'm listening. 221 00:16:49,820 --> 00:16:51,040 The truth is... 222 00:17:15,760 --> 00:17:16,760 after she did it. 223 00:17:17,079 --> 00:17:21,060 That's why she took the money she made and she spent it on that chair for you. 224 00:17:23,160 --> 00:17:25,900 Okay. Can you look at it from my point of view? 225 00:17:26,720 --> 00:17:28,260 Do I have to stick my head up your butt? 226 00:17:30,940 --> 00:17:31,940 My point of view. 227 00:17:32,580 --> 00:17:33,580 Really simple. 228 00:17:34,540 --> 00:17:36,420 She was the one that did something wrong. 229 00:17:37,260 --> 00:17:41,880 So no matter how I react, she's the one that has to apologize. 230 00:17:45,810 --> 00:17:48,410 If I admit that you're right, will you give me a deal on that swordfish out 231 00:17:48,410 --> 00:17:49,410 there? 232 00:17:50,630 --> 00:17:52,150 Take it. I stole it from the church. 233 00:18:19,560 --> 00:18:21,480 I called your deaf aunt and apologized. 234 00:18:22,780 --> 00:18:23,780 It's okay. 235 00:18:24,540 --> 00:18:27,460 You apologized to a deaf person on the phone? 236 00:18:28,520 --> 00:18:31,580 Yes. That's why I talked to her very slowly. 237 00:18:33,440 --> 00:18:37,140 Besides, an apology is not about the person getting it. 238 00:18:37,680 --> 00:18:40,620 It's about the person making it. 239 00:18:42,580 --> 00:18:44,180 Very subtle, Jim. 240 00:18:45,680 --> 00:18:49,100 Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm very tired. I think I'm going to take a nap. 241 00:18:59,840 --> 00:19:01,060 Go ahead, sleep. 242 00:19:02,300 --> 00:19:06,200 If you can, with that guilty conscience of yours. 243 00:19:06,520 --> 00:19:08,180 I don't have a guilty conscience. 244 00:19:08,940 --> 00:19:10,600 You're going to jump down my throat. 245 00:19:10,940 --> 00:19:12,280 Because you're screwed up, honey. 246 00:19:12,560 --> 00:19:13,560 Okay. 247 00:19:14,870 --> 00:19:16,670 Yes, it is the point. 248 00:19:16,950 --> 00:19:17,950 Trust me. 249 00:19:18,230 --> 00:19:20,290 I've been down that road many times. 250 00:19:21,910 --> 00:19:27,250 Yeah. I've been down the screw -up expressway so many times they've even 251 00:19:27,250 --> 00:19:28,370 rest stop after me. 252 00:19:30,410 --> 00:19:32,610 This is your first trip down that road. 253 00:19:33,930 --> 00:19:39,190 You want to be mad at me so you don't have to be mad at yourself. 254 00:19:41,510 --> 00:19:43,470 I am not mad at myself. 255 00:19:48,330 --> 00:19:52,290 Cheryl, nobody, and I mean nobody loves your boobs more than me. 256 00:19:54,910 --> 00:19:56,950 So why didn't you just show me the tape? 257 00:19:58,090 --> 00:20:01,610 Nine years have gone by. What, were you waiting for the director's cut? 258 00:20:19,150 --> 00:20:20,150 I should never have done it. 259 00:20:21,990 --> 00:20:25,630 I should never have done what I did in that bar. 260 00:20:25,990 --> 00:20:32,870 I mean, I... I wasn't thinking about you or our relationship or our family. I 261 00:20:32,870 --> 00:20:35,310 just... Oh, honey. 262 00:20:37,010 --> 00:20:38,910 I feel like a total idiot. 263 00:20:40,350 --> 00:20:41,910 I am so, so sorry. 264 00:20:46,280 --> 00:20:47,940 Don't beat yourself up. It's no biggie. 265 00:20:51,440 --> 00:20:52,440 Very funny. 266 00:20:54,040 --> 00:20:55,300 But it is a biggie. 267 00:20:56,640 --> 00:20:58,040 It's a pair of biggies. 268 00:21:00,720 --> 00:21:07,680 What do you say we go upstairs and have some makeup 269 00:21:07,680 --> 00:21:08,680 sex? 270 00:21:09,360 --> 00:21:10,480 We don't have a bed. 271 00:21:13,140 --> 00:21:14,500 You know about the bed? 272 00:21:15,500 --> 00:21:17,300 The manager of the nursing home called. 273 00:21:19,460 --> 00:21:20,460 Well? 274 00:21:22,080 --> 00:21:23,720 We can do it outside in a bit. 275 00:21:25,300 --> 00:21:27,940 Jim, I'm not that kind of girl. 276 00:21:29,800 --> 00:21:31,080 I'll give you a free t -shirt. 277 00:21:31,720 --> 00:21:32,720 Okie dokie. 20294

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