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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,300 --> 00:00:03,100 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow down, honey. Slow down. 2 00:00:03,680 --> 00:00:07,060 Dad, we want the freeze pops to be really, really blue. 3 00:00:07,300 --> 00:00:11,220 Yeah, like the ones from the store. The only reason those are really, really 4 00:00:11,220 --> 00:00:14,860 blue is because they're filled with chemicals that'll make your toes fall 5 00:00:14,860 --> 00:00:15,860 when you're 40. 6 00:00:16,360 --> 00:00:17,840 Here, food coloring. 7 00:00:18,620 --> 00:00:20,300 This will blow it up really nice. 8 00:00:21,980 --> 00:00:23,200 All right, son. 9 00:00:24,500 --> 00:00:25,500 Let it rip. 10 00:00:35,110 --> 00:00:36,110 Maybe someone's stuck in there. 11 00:00:36,770 --> 00:00:40,310 Hey, turn on the light so I can see if the ice is stuck in here. 12 00:00:44,650 --> 00:00:45,010 Now 13 00:00:45,010 --> 00:00:54,410 it's 14 00:00:54,410 --> 00:00:55,410 too blue. 15 00:01:08,350 --> 00:01:09,350 15th anniversary. 16 00:01:10,210 --> 00:01:12,110 And they said it wouldn't last. 17 00:01:12,690 --> 00:01:14,350 Only your side of the family, honey. 18 00:01:15,690 --> 00:01:19,570 Dana, I think I have your ginger ale. No, this is ginger ale. Well, I'm off to 19 00:01:19,570 --> 00:01:23,730 bed. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Sit down, young lady. Give 20 00:01:23,730 --> 00:01:24,730 me that. Crazy. 21 00:01:24,970 --> 00:01:28,730 It's time we teach her a lesson. I say we make her finish the bottle and smoke 22 00:01:28,730 --> 00:01:29,790 pack of cigarettes. Oh. 23 00:01:30,750 --> 00:01:34,430 Give her a break. If I had to grow up with Jim as a father, I'd hide a flask 24 00:01:34,430 --> 00:01:35,430 my teddy bear. 25 00:01:35,830 --> 00:01:37,050 You wouldn't have a teddy bear. 26 00:01:37,440 --> 00:01:39,880 You'd have a real bear out in the woods where I'd make you live. 27 00:01:41,860 --> 00:01:47,460 Jim, if you were my father, I'd consider myself the luckiest little boy in the 28 00:01:47,460 --> 00:01:48,460 world. 29 00:01:52,980 --> 00:01:54,840 Okay, now you're living in the woods with Dana. 30 00:01:56,040 --> 00:01:57,040 See you guys later. 31 00:01:57,220 --> 00:01:58,220 Good night. 32 00:01:58,340 --> 00:01:59,340 Hey, 33 00:02:01,260 --> 00:02:04,400 wouldn't it be fun if I was your little brother? 34 00:02:13,420 --> 00:02:17,080 Are you ready to celebrate our 15th anniversary with a $15 entree? 35 00:02:17,940 --> 00:02:20,400 You know, I'm looking forward to this so much more than our fifth. 36 00:02:21,460 --> 00:02:23,420 Yeah. Those tacos are really good. 37 00:02:24,960 --> 00:02:27,900 But, honey, before we go, there's something I want to do with you. 38 00:02:28,460 --> 00:02:31,940 You're right. You know what? Between the T -bone and the dessert bar, I'm going 39 00:02:31,940 --> 00:02:35,160 to be way too full later. No, no, no, honey, not that. 40 00:02:35,840 --> 00:02:39,060 This. This? A really old envelope? 41 00:02:39,360 --> 00:02:42,120 No, honey, it's what's inside the envelope. 42 00:02:42,830 --> 00:02:45,950 We wrote these on our first anniversary and sent them to ourselves. 43 00:02:46,510 --> 00:02:48,290 Wow. And they just got here? 44 00:02:48,550 --> 00:02:49,550 No. 45 00:02:50,110 --> 00:02:54,150 We saved them. It's our list of everything we wanted to accomplish 46 00:02:54,150 --> 00:02:55,150 15th anniversary. 47 00:02:55,910 --> 00:02:56,910 This is incredible. 48 00:02:57,370 --> 00:03:00,470 Oh, look at you. You're just as sentimental as I am. 49 00:03:00,810 --> 00:03:02,250 Stamps for 25 cents. 50 00:03:02,470 --> 00:03:03,470 Oh. 51 00:03:05,350 --> 00:03:06,350 Wow. 52 00:03:06,790 --> 00:03:08,850 I've accomplished all my goals. 53 00:03:09,410 --> 00:03:10,910 I have three kids. 54 00:03:11,390 --> 00:03:16,270 I've helped well over 100 people less fortunate than me. And I've met Eric 55 00:03:16,270 --> 00:03:17,270 Estrada. 56 00:03:22,970 --> 00:03:24,090 What is it? 57 00:03:26,310 --> 00:03:27,310 That's silly. 58 00:03:27,570 --> 00:03:31,710 This was your dream for yourself 15 years ago. How can that be silly? That's 59 00:03:31,710 --> 00:03:32,489 because it's silly. 60 00:03:32,490 --> 00:03:33,490 Oh, honey. 61 00:03:33,830 --> 00:03:36,490 Stupid. Oh, come on. 62 00:03:37,130 --> 00:03:38,510 All right, well, it's... 63 00:03:39,600 --> 00:03:44,960 I don't know. Back then I thought it would be really cool if by tonight we 64 00:03:44,960 --> 00:03:46,760 done it in every state of the Big Ten Conference. 65 00:03:52,020 --> 00:03:53,020 What? 66 00:03:55,540 --> 00:03:58,720 Hey, back then I was a sucker for romance just like you. 67 00:04:00,280 --> 00:04:02,740 Well, did we do it in every state? 68 00:04:02,960 --> 00:04:03,960 No. 69 00:04:04,300 --> 00:04:05,980 All the states but Indiana. 70 00:04:07,520 --> 00:04:08,680 Not that I didn't try. 71 00:04:14,730 --> 00:04:15,730 Father's funeral? 72 00:04:17,070 --> 00:04:18,070 No. 73 00:04:19,230 --> 00:04:20,230 Come on. 74 00:04:21,570 --> 00:04:24,010 God took your father and brought us to Indiana. 75 00:04:25,090 --> 00:04:28,390 I mean, I saw it as a sign from above to go for it. 76 00:04:29,430 --> 00:04:33,310 And, honey, you looked so beautiful that night. Your eyes were just sparkling. 77 00:04:33,630 --> 00:04:34,630 I was crying. 78 00:04:36,650 --> 00:04:40,390 Cheryl, I know it sounds crazy, all right? It's a crazy goal, but I... 79 00:04:41,200 --> 00:04:45,000 I don't know. I just thought back then that I hated seeing couples and how 80 00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:48,960 they got in their marriage. I thought a cool goal like this would, you know, 81 00:04:48,960 --> 00:04:49,980 keep it sparked. 82 00:04:51,260 --> 00:04:52,440 Oh, honey. 83 00:04:54,340 --> 00:04:57,820 When you say it like that, the sweetness kind of balances out the crazy. 84 00:05:00,620 --> 00:05:03,380 I don't know. I just... I failed. 85 00:05:04,280 --> 00:05:07,940 I did, honey. I failed on my one goal. No, I did. I mean, all right. 86 00:05:08,700 --> 00:05:09,529 All right. 87 00:05:09,530 --> 00:05:13,750 Sure, 15 years of marriage. I built a nice business. I have a beautiful, 88 00:05:13,810 --> 00:05:17,750 supportive wife. I've got three children who are beautiful and healthy. But I 89 00:05:17,750 --> 00:05:19,690 blew the one thing that was important to me. 90 00:05:23,150 --> 00:05:28,990 Well, you know, I mean, there's still six hours left in our anniversary, and 91 00:05:28,990 --> 00:05:32,230 Indiana's like 45 minutes away. 92 00:05:43,440 --> 00:05:45,120 You would do that for me? 93 00:05:45,500 --> 00:05:46,880 Of course I would. 94 00:05:47,160 --> 00:05:47,999 Come on. 95 00:05:48,000 --> 00:05:51,680 Fire up that minivan, get me across state lines, and have your way with me, 96 00:05:51,740 --> 00:05:52,740 mister. 97 00:05:53,620 --> 00:05:56,540 I have been waiting my whole life to hear you say that. 98 00:06:13,480 --> 00:06:15,960 While we're here, let's knock one out. 99 00:06:17,520 --> 00:06:18,800 Honey, honey, hold on. 100 00:06:19,120 --> 00:06:23,440 What? Well, since it's our anniversary, I was kind of hoping that when we 101 00:06:23,440 --> 00:06:27,280 knocked one out, it might at least be in a hotel. 102 00:06:28,140 --> 00:06:29,140 Come on. 103 00:06:29,220 --> 00:06:33,140 This doesn't sound like the girl that I married. The girl I married thought the 104 00:06:33,140 --> 00:06:34,680 back seat of a car was kind of romantic. 105 00:06:36,620 --> 00:06:41,160 Yes, by quite like under a full moon, but not in the runaway truck lane of an 106 00:06:41,160 --> 00:06:42,160 Indiana highway. 107 00:06:46,030 --> 00:06:47,910 You're kind of starting to make a big deal out of this, aren't you? 108 00:06:50,130 --> 00:06:51,130 Fine. 109 00:06:57,570 --> 00:06:58,850 $82 .50? 110 00:07:00,330 --> 00:07:02,670 Come on, we're only going to be here an hour. 111 00:07:05,410 --> 00:07:09,030 We don't rent by the hour, so we're not that kind of hotel. 112 00:07:09,970 --> 00:07:13,330 But if your girl's a sport, there's a rusted -out school bus around back. 113 00:07:21,580 --> 00:07:22,580 Come on, man. 114 00:07:22,620 --> 00:07:25,180 This is our anniversary. We came all the way from Illinois. 115 00:07:25,500 --> 00:07:26,840 Oh, wow, Illinois. 116 00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:30,060 I didn't know I was dealing with a world traveler. 117 00:07:31,300 --> 00:07:33,620 I'll tell you what, I'll give you the Land of Lincoln special. 118 00:07:34,140 --> 00:07:35,140 $82 .50. 119 00:07:36,580 --> 00:07:37,580 Come on. 120 00:07:38,300 --> 00:07:41,300 Look, just give us 15 minutes alone to check it out, all right? 121 00:07:41,800 --> 00:07:43,100 I'm not falling for that again. 122 00:07:43,720 --> 00:07:47,840 You Illinoisians think you can come down here and just do your dirty business 123 00:07:47,840 --> 00:07:49,160 and then go home for free? 124 00:07:49,690 --> 00:07:53,150 Well, if you want to get horizontal in a Hoosier state, it's 80 to 50. 125 00:07:56,650 --> 00:07:58,410 How much if we do it vertically? Oh. 126 00:08:02,090 --> 00:08:06,570 80 to 50. Fine, fine. I heard you the first time. Fine, fine. Here. 127 00:08:06,970 --> 00:08:08,190 Hope you choke on it. 128 00:08:09,670 --> 00:08:10,830 Welcome to the sea breeze. 129 00:08:11,450 --> 00:08:12,750 The sea breeze? 130 00:08:13,450 --> 00:08:14,450 Oh, yeah. 131 00:08:28,810 --> 00:08:32,130 Dana's having contractions and it's really freaking me out. What do I do? 132 00:08:35,010 --> 00:08:37,450 Wait a minute. She's not due for another six weeks. 133 00:08:37,809 --> 00:08:40,150 Well, tell that to the baby because it's trying to come out. 134 00:08:43,190 --> 00:08:44,190 What was that? 135 00:08:44,410 --> 00:08:46,130 I stepped on a cat. What do you think? 136 00:09:01,450 --> 00:09:02,570 doing dishes on your anniversary? 137 00:09:05,790 --> 00:09:10,010 No, honey, we're in Indiana. We're going to get there as soon as we can. 138 00:09:10,670 --> 00:09:12,050 What's wrong? Are you in pain? 139 00:09:12,270 --> 00:09:13,189 Oh, yes. 140 00:09:13,190 --> 00:09:15,370 My baby's going to be in Aries. 141 00:09:16,530 --> 00:09:18,270 That's okay. Jim's in Aries. 142 00:09:20,550 --> 00:09:21,449 Okay, okay. 143 00:09:21,450 --> 00:09:24,490 I'm sorry. I'm sorry, honey. I will get there as soon as I can. 144 00:09:26,230 --> 00:09:29,190 Jim, we got to go. Dana's in premature labor. 145 00:09:29,640 --> 00:09:31,520 Premature labor? That's serious. Jim, I know. 146 00:09:31,920 --> 00:09:33,340 What's our license plate number? 147 00:09:33,820 --> 00:09:34,820 Jim! 148 00:09:37,020 --> 00:09:40,180 Stop it. All right, all right, all right. Dana needs me, and I'm worried 149 00:09:40,180 --> 00:09:43,860 her. Let's go. You know, besides, Jim, I'm never going to be able to enjoy it. 150 00:09:44,360 --> 00:09:46,580 Enjoy it? Whose list is this? 151 00:09:48,140 --> 00:09:51,500 Jim! Fine, fine, fine, fine. 152 00:09:52,200 --> 00:09:53,800 All right, I'm going to need my money back. 153 00:09:54,320 --> 00:09:56,400 I'm sorry, sir. It's already in the system. 154 00:09:57,840 --> 00:09:59,800 System? It's a metal box with a hole in it. 155 00:10:01,300 --> 00:10:03,940 I'm sorry it's not one of your fancy Illinois systems. 156 00:10:04,400 --> 00:10:07,460 Look, I am not going to pay for a room that's not being used. 157 00:10:07,780 --> 00:10:08,840 Oh, it's going to get used. 158 00:10:14,740 --> 00:10:17,460 Brianna, get yourself out of the school bus. 159 00:10:23,320 --> 00:10:24,660 She's shy, but she's dirty. 160 00:10:43,180 --> 00:10:44,220 Who are we talking about exactly? 161 00:10:47,100 --> 00:10:48,500 Jim and Cheryl. 162 00:10:49,120 --> 00:10:51,520 How many glasses of champagne have you had? 163 00:10:51,840 --> 00:10:53,100 Just a gluple of glasses. 164 00:10:55,960 --> 00:10:58,860 Andy. Oh, look at you. 165 00:10:59,400 --> 00:11:00,800 You're going to have a baby. 166 00:11:02,380 --> 00:11:05,540 Jim and Cheryl have been married for 15 years. 167 00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:08,120 When is it my turn? 168 00:11:09,200 --> 00:11:11,960 When does this butter pillar turn into a cat or fly? 169 00:11:27,150 --> 00:11:29,270 I think maybe we should get you to the hospital just to be safe. 170 00:11:29,530 --> 00:11:32,170 If you want to be safe, we should go to a hospital in Indiana. 171 00:11:33,650 --> 00:11:34,629 Indiana? Jim? 172 00:11:34,630 --> 00:11:35,830 Well, they're always safe in Indiana. 173 00:11:36,570 --> 00:11:37,570 Okay, 174 00:11:38,030 --> 00:11:41,310 honey, how far apart are your contractions? I don't know. I'm still 175 00:11:41,310 --> 00:11:42,310 one. 176 00:11:42,530 --> 00:11:43,530 The one? 177 00:11:44,530 --> 00:11:47,510 I tried to time it, but then I stopped. 178 00:12:30,480 --> 00:12:31,800 We still got time to make Indiana. 179 00:12:32,060 --> 00:12:34,360 Come on, baby. The dream lives on. Let's go. 180 00:12:35,840 --> 00:12:37,640 Honey, are you sure you're okay? 181 00:12:40,960 --> 00:12:41,960 Oh, 182 00:12:45,400 --> 00:12:48,940 good Lord. 183 00:12:51,900 --> 00:12:54,620 I'm a little spacey. Was that me or you? 184 00:13:17,270 --> 00:13:18,990 Hey. Hey, buddy. 185 00:13:19,430 --> 00:13:21,910 Hey, it's my well -heeled friend from Illinois. 186 00:13:22,270 --> 00:13:23,770 I didn't hear your limo pull up. 187 00:13:24,910 --> 00:13:26,250 Uh, we'd like our room back. 188 00:13:27,080 --> 00:13:30,360 I'm sorry that room is unavailable. Brianna's taking a well -earned shower. 189 00:13:31,920 --> 00:13:33,500 What? Okay, Jim, let me. 190 00:13:34,080 --> 00:13:35,440 Hi, I'm Cheryl. 191 00:13:35,820 --> 00:13:39,300 Dennis. Hi, Dennis. We'd really like another room. 192 00:13:39,840 --> 00:13:41,660 I'll check the availability, Cheryl. 193 00:13:41,860 --> 00:13:42,860 Oh, thank you. 194 00:13:43,060 --> 00:13:44,060 Okay. 195 00:13:47,320 --> 00:13:50,420 Did you have a reservation? 196 00:13:50,660 --> 00:13:51,660 We had a whole room! 197 00:13:52,660 --> 00:13:55,600 Oh, look, something just opened up. I'll take it. 198 00:13:56,710 --> 00:13:57,850 That'll be 200 bucks. 199 00:13:58,170 --> 00:13:59,610 What are you talking about 200? 200 00:14:00,070 --> 00:14:03,490 No. Please take it. Take the room. I'm not saying a room for 280. Listen to me. 201 00:14:03,550 --> 00:14:06,650 Listen to me. We are this close to achieving your goal. 202 00:14:07,030 --> 00:14:08,950 Please don't blow it over $200. 203 00:14:10,370 --> 00:14:11,370 Okay. 204 00:14:15,990 --> 00:14:16,990 We'll take it. 205 00:14:18,390 --> 00:14:19,390 Does it have cable? 206 00:14:19,730 --> 00:14:21,530 Yes. But no TV. 207 00:14:25,930 --> 00:14:27,030 No, it's a tornado warning. 208 00:14:27,650 --> 00:14:30,710 Tornado? Yeah, it happens all the time when you live near a trailer park. 209 00:14:30,970 --> 00:14:31,970 Don't put it in the system! 210 00:14:32,270 --> 00:14:33,270 Oh, I'm sorry. 211 00:14:35,490 --> 00:14:38,750 Get everyone out of their rooms and into the shelter. This place is going to 212 00:14:38,750 --> 00:14:40,610 come apart like a cheap hotel in a tornado. 213 00:14:44,030 --> 00:14:45,230 You guys will be fine. 214 00:14:48,890 --> 00:14:50,470 We're not staying here. 215 00:14:50,710 --> 00:14:51,269 We're not. 216 00:14:51,270 --> 00:14:52,270 Come on. 217 00:14:52,410 --> 00:14:55,630 I paid $282 for this room and I'm going to get my... 218 00:14:55,900 --> 00:14:59,120 Forget about the money. Forget about the big tent. We've got to get out of here. 219 00:15:00,360 --> 00:15:01,360 Fine. Good. 220 00:15:01,820 --> 00:15:04,860 Wait a minute. I'm not leaving without my money's worth. Jim. No. 221 00:15:34,220 --> 00:15:36,720 a touchdown near the Illinois state line within the hour. 222 00:15:36,980 --> 00:15:40,400 If you're visiting Indiana, the Seabreeze offers fabulous beds. 223 00:15:43,220 --> 00:15:44,220 Big deal. 224 00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:46,280 I didn't get Indiana. 225 00:15:47,260 --> 00:15:48,260 So what? 226 00:15:48,420 --> 00:15:49,420 Oh, honey. 227 00:15:49,600 --> 00:15:54,860 No, no, really. It's okay. I haven't focused on the wrong things. 228 00:15:55,600 --> 00:15:59,700 My big goal should have been my wife, my family, people I love. 229 00:16:00,840 --> 00:16:03,660 Not a list of states that I could do it in. 230 00:16:06,860 --> 00:16:08,220 I've never wanted you more. 231 00:16:11,340 --> 00:16:13,960 Come on, pull over. Got ten minutes before midnight. 232 00:16:16,320 --> 00:16:18,100 I should have deep thoughts more often. 233 00:16:22,600 --> 00:16:25,400 All right. 234 00:16:25,680 --> 00:16:27,900 Hey, are we near a train track? 235 00:16:28,340 --> 00:16:29,340 A train track? 236 00:16:41,640 --> 00:16:42,579 west is, Gerald. 237 00:16:42,580 --> 00:16:45,600 It's the same direction that cow is flying. 238 00:16:47,720 --> 00:16:51,900 Okay, okay, okay. There's a farmhouse across that field. We've got to make a 239 00:16:51,900 --> 00:16:52,739 for it. Fast! 240 00:16:52,740 --> 00:16:57,280 Wait, wait, wait. You mean like three or four minutes fast or now fast? 241 00:16:58,480 --> 00:17:01,580 Jim, if you want to say you're going to celebrate our anniversary by yourself, 242 00:17:01,740 --> 00:17:02,740 be my guest. 243 00:17:03,180 --> 00:17:04,400 You think it would still count? 244 00:19:13,200 --> 00:19:14,200 The same. 245 00:19:15,080 --> 00:19:18,400 You know, Jim, it's still got five minutes before midnight. 246 00:19:20,720 --> 00:19:21,720 Really? 247 00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:26,180 It's not the sea breeze, but I think it'll do. 248 00:19:28,440 --> 00:19:29,440 Here. 249 00:19:30,380 --> 00:19:33,180 Oh, my God. 250 00:19:33,540 --> 00:19:34,600 Oh, Cheryl. 251 00:19:37,440 --> 00:19:39,120 You are so beautiful. 252 00:19:40,080 --> 00:19:41,920 How about this night, huh? 253 00:19:42,800 --> 00:19:44,800 I mean, that stupid motel. 254 00:19:45,500 --> 00:19:46,560 Dana's farts. 255 00:19:48,700 --> 00:19:49,980 And now a tornado. 256 00:19:50,420 --> 00:19:53,960 Man, why do you go through this with me? 257 00:19:54,500 --> 00:19:58,440 Oh, well, you see, honey, well, you've been trying to get me in all the Big Ten 258 00:19:58,440 --> 00:20:03,100 states. I've been trying to get you on a bag of corn in a storm cellar. 259 00:20:05,980 --> 00:20:07,700 You are a good sport. 260 00:20:09,120 --> 00:20:10,120 I love you. 261 00:20:13,870 --> 00:20:14,870 Four minutes. Oh. 262 00:20:16,550 --> 00:20:17,550 Oh. 263 00:20:17,790 --> 00:20:18,890 Hold that. Hold that. 264 00:20:19,150 --> 00:20:20,770 What? Let me set the mood. 265 00:20:21,110 --> 00:20:22,110 What? 266 00:20:23,530 --> 00:20:24,530 Oh, 267 00:20:30,570 --> 00:20:33,070 baby. 268 00:20:37,290 --> 00:20:38,290 Well, 269 00:20:39,970 --> 00:20:41,590 honey, happy 50th anniversary. 270 00:20:42,389 --> 00:20:43,570 Welcome to the Big Ten. 271 00:20:44,230 --> 00:20:47,090 Thank you. That was really fun. 272 00:20:48,710 --> 00:20:49,750 Hey, but you know what, honey? 273 00:20:50,010 --> 00:20:51,530 What about for the next 15? 274 00:20:51,790 --> 00:20:53,890 We do it on all the great beaches of the world. 275 00:20:55,290 --> 00:20:59,790 How about we take the ocean tape home, do it in bed, that way we won't get sand 276 00:20:59,790 --> 00:21:00,790 up our butts. 277 00:21:02,170 --> 00:21:04,370 Look, the power's coming back. 278 00:21:31,440 --> 00:21:32,680 I wouldn't eat this corn if I was you. 19804