Original subtitles

Go Bulls! Come on, you can do it! Hey, come on, they're on fire tonight.

only down by 17.

Let's go play outside.

The Bulls stink.

What?

They do not stink.

They're just rebuilding this year.

Hey, Nate, we're on offense.

Dribble, dribble, dribble!

Hey, guys.

Sarah, the Bulls are losing!

My mistake.

There you go, three comeback sandwiches.

Oh, yes, these babies helped beat the Pistons in 91.

Hey, where's the ham? It won't work without the ham.

I'll take it. You know, I'm starting to think these silly superstitions are just

to... Cheryl!

You know, I'm starting to think these silly superstitions are just an excuse

you guys to stuff your faces.

Cheryl, there is nothing silly about what we're doing.

Oh, we're on defense. Hands up, hands up.

And I said, I sure do, Cindy Lou Who, but not the Jim you're thinking of.

Give up the love, my funky, fresh brother!

First, we went to the gym. And then we went to the gym!

Yeah, it's a pretty straight line.

You know, it's so sweet of you guys to stop by, but I'm... Fortunately, we're

just on our way out. We're just going to go get... Massages. Ice cream.

Ice cream, massages. It's very relaxing.

Oh, gosh.

Every time we drop in, it's right as you're heading out, sad face.

Just one minute remaining. The Bulls are on a 15 -point run.

My God, it's a miracle.

Look, Rumpelstiltskin basketball, huh? Hey, do you know, we met when we were

cheerleaders in college.

Uh -oh.

Let's just move this little flea market treasure out of the way.

Defense! Defense!

Rah! Rah! Rah!

Their team's coach wears a big pink bra!

Yeah! Woo!

Yeah! Woo!

Woo!

Whoa! Unbelievable! The Bulls just tied it up!

What? They've been getting killed all night until... The Devlins came.

Do another cheer. Quick!

of the afternoon.

and you're worried about our lives?

How selfish can you be?

You know what? I put up with the bull's pillow. I respected the Cubs' goat

curse. I even looked the other way when you insisted on watching the NFL draft

in my maternity underwear.

Cheryl, everyone in that bar was behind me. Jeff, you have a problem!

I do not have a problem!

Fine. Then watch the next game without the Devlins.

Thank you, honey.

Not a problem.

What a big pile of sand.

37 seconds remaining, and the Bulls are down by five.

Oh, isn't this an exciting game, huh?

And so much more fun without the Devlins.

We're just down by five. We can do this. Yeah, yeah, we don't need the stupid

Devlins. Hey, let's do our own cheer. Yeah.

Go Bulls. Go, go, go.

And then go some more. And then go, go.

Gordon throws up a Hail Mary.

No good. And a Pacers win, ending the Bulls' six -game winning streak.

Okay, honey, honey. I'm sorry, but you do know it has nothing to do with the

Devlins not being here.

I know.

Okay. I know.

Because it's your fault.

All of your fault.

Yeah, that's right.

talking about? I'll tell you what I'm talking about. The Bulls won six

championships when we lived on Taylor Street. Then Cheryl wanted to move here

because of the good schools. And then zip!

Take it easy, man.

No, no, you take it easy, man.

What about you? Growing your goatee in 93, you spooked Jordan and he went to

baseball.

It was disastrous for both of you.

And you, you, when you got that perm, you made Phil Jackson all self

about his weird hair.

Yes, Cheryl. I'm a genius. I can listen and talk at the same time.

I want my tablets.

I want my tablets.

All right, all right. Move aside. He needs some tough love.

You disgust me.

Cheryl, he has a perky two -headed monkey on his back. Turn away if you're

But your obsession with sports is hurting people.

Well, then why are my cheeks sore?

Because we need to knock some sense into you. Hey, hey, hey, hey!

So help me God, Jim.

Okay, Jim.

Okay, think about it this way.

What? What if you had a drinking problem?

What would you do?

Switch to beer?

No, you'd quit.

So what's the non -alcoholic version of basketball?

Women's basketball.

No! No basketball!

Jim, you've got to stop watching the bowls.

At least for a little while.

No balls?

Oh, baby, I know.

I know it's hard, but it's for your own good.

Well, I am getting a little crazy.

I've got to do something about it.

No Bulls.

No Devlins.

Don't you remember?

No.

We're going to get through this.

This is fun watching the game in a motel. Oh, yeah. I'm glad you're getting

house fumigated. And the best part, as soon as the game's over, we hit the

Cannonball!

So, you guys want to meet here for the next game?

On Saturday?

That's weird.

We had our house fumigated. We moved back in after two days.

Well, I'm getting the whole package. You know, termites.

Cobras, tigers.

This is impossible.

Do you smell something burning?

I sure do, San Francisco.

Because a certain liar liar's pants are on fire.

He's staying in a cheap motel. He hasn't showered in days.

Oh, my God.

You left Cheryl!

No, damn it! No!

No. Easy, easy.

I didn't believe my wife.

Please. Something's rotten in the state of Jim Mark.

We're not watching another minute of this game until you tell us the truth.

This breakup has been the hardest thing I've ever been through.

Oh, my God.

This bed wasn't covered in the crust of a thousand illicit affairs. I would

throw myself on it and cry.

Looks like you both need a good... cry guess that's why god gave me two big

broad shoulders thanks a lot tim sylvania

uh can i ask you guys

a favor anything

You think you can keep this from Cheryl?

Because, you know, she's really having a hard time, and I just want her to be

happy. I mean, think about it. We got the playoffs to look forward to. What

she have to live for?

The children?

Yeah, yeah, right. The children.

You know,

I'd love having a TV on Saturday now that Jim's not watching the game.

Did you know... The Spice Channel is not about cooking.

Speaking of the Spice Channel, what's Jim been doing with the time?

You're not going to believe it. He joined a gym.

Really? Yes, he's upstairs getting ready to go swimming right now.

Oh, my God. I know.

Wow, this cold weather really does a number on your hair.

This is Josh Kosh Bagosh.

Nice to meet you.

I prefer Josh.

Tim knows that.

Hi, I'm Dana.

Whoa, whoa.

Easy there, single girl.

Why don't you go make some tea? He's for Cheryl.

Actually, I am not single. I have a boyfriend.

He's a doctor.

And he does great work. Now, let's go.

What do you guys do here? It's almost three o 'clock.

Not that that means anything.

Hey there, Jimbalaya. What are you doing here? Oh, you know, just visiting my

kids and everybody because, you know, this is my house.

Yeah.

I'd like you to meet my brother, Josh.

My name's Josh.

Just Josh.

I just got out of a relationship, but I think I'm ready to date again.

Okay.

I'm on the decorations committee for the school dance.

Hey!

You know what? I don't think I've shown you our new hummingbird feeders, Cindy

Cindy Bang Bang.

What's going on? You're supposed to meet me at the motel. We wanted to drop off

Josh for Cheryl first.

There's no way we can enjoy the game knowing she'd be all alone.

What?

Yeah. See, Josh Ashana is single.

So we thought one plus one equals...

You're setting up Cheryl with Tim's brother?

Yeah. What were you thinking?

Oh, I'm sorry.

Are you not ready for Cheryl to see other people?

Of course I am!

The game is at 3 o 'clock. We're not going to have time to go see it at the

hotel. We're going to have to see it here.

Oh, potentially awkward.

Yeah.

We've got to get these lovebirds out of here.

Let's just not tell Cheryl about the setup, okay? She might not react in a

favorable way.

Hey, you know what?

Cindy just told me about this great Chinese place up the interstate.

Josh, why don't you take Cheryl there?

Without you?

Cheryl's got to swim.

I'm going to go help Dana in the kitchen.

I'm sorry.

Who are you again?

I'm the husband.

Don't worry, it's cool.

Hey, everybody's acting really weird out there.

Well, you have three Devlins in your house. I'm surprised everyone's still

wearing their pants.

Cheryl, the little bird just told me Josh really likes you.

know Jim's living in a motel. We've been there for the last four Bulls games.

So, now that I'm single, you want to set me up with Josh.

And Jim is being super supportive.

He just wants to be happy.

That man is a saint.

I don't know why you slipped around on him.

Interstate 194 north to the fourth exit.

Chinese restaurant.

You know, Josh, I am on the move for Chinese. Let's go out.

Great. I think we should take my van.

Only if it has shag carpeting.

Even on the ceiling.

Wow. Shag carpeting and Chinese food? How will I ever come back to this?

Wait. Wait, Cheryl. Cheryl, wait.

It's cold out. Grab a coat.

Yes! Yes! One minute to spare. Perfect timing.

Oh, my God.

I hope the bulls appreciate what I'm doing.

Are you freaking kidding me?

You're going to let me go out on a date?

Come on. It's not like you're going to do anything.

Hey, you told me she was easy.

Excuse me.

Three kids and pushing 35. Frankly, you're a tough sell.

Tim, Cindy, I really appreciate all you've done for me.

And if I do leave Jim, which is looking more and more likely,

Josh will definitely be on my short list. But for now, I really think I'm

to stay and work on my marriage.

Well, I'm still in the mood for Chinese food.

Later.

Josh, wait, wait!

I hate for you to eat alone.

We are going to work on our marriage, even if it takes all night.

God, this is just like watching one of my soaps.

Looks like we've sown a crop of joy here, Timmy Appleseed.

Let's go home. We're going to have some makeup.

But we didn't have a fight.

Yes, we did.

No, we didn't. Yes, we did.

No, we didn't. You win.

Looks like we have some things to talk about.

Yes, we do.

Yes, we do. And as soon as we watch a game, I'm all ears.

Jim, are you sure you want to go for that remote?

Yeah.

That's what makes me think that I'm not learning anything.

Okay. You do care about our marriage, right? Yes, I do.

I mean, 99 times out of 100, I wouldn't let you go out with another guy.

But this is for the bulls.

and for the people of Chicago and the greater metropolitan area.

Gonna help the people of Chicago move to Detroit.

Jim, you're acting crazy. I am crazy, Cheryl.

And there's a madman and a crazy man down the street wearing the same Bulls

underwear for the whole season. And there's another guy across town hopping

one leg when the Bulls are on offense. All over the city, people are doing

stupid things because they believe, Cheryl.

And if there's enough stupid... people out there acting like idiots and doing

stupid things, then maybe we can bring the Bulls all the way to the playoffs.

Jim, you threw me into the arms of a stranger. You are out of control.

What are you thinking?

I'm thinking about what the score is right now.

Problems? Yeah.

You're putting your love of sports ahead of your love of your wife and your

family. Don't ask me to give up sports.

Jim, I'm not. I'm not. I wouldn't ask you to give up sports, Jim.

It's part of who you are.

You've always been a little crazy when it came to sports.

Yes.

I just love you so much.

Okay, so we're good, right?

No, no, no.

Jim. What?

I need you to go back to your normal crazy.

Before you were meeting people we can't stand in motel rooms or sending me off

on the interstate with some guy in his good times van.

Yeah, that might have been bad.

Look, I'm never going to get that crazy again.

All right.

That's all I ask.

Can I watch a game now?

If you can do it with a modicum of sanity, be my guest.

Oh, an inauspicious start for the Bulls as the Charlotte... Damn it, they're

down!

But I'm cool with it, baby.

Saw the Devlin's car in the driveway.

I thought you were going to give them up. You promised.

What about me, huh?

I can be good luck.

I can be a Devlin.

Those bikini briefs.