Original subtitles

bologna sliders.

Nobody want those things.

Okay, spit it up. I know you be eating stuff. Spit it up. Spit my stuff up. I

tell you what, I'm watching everybody in here. Don't eat my stuff.

Will, Sasha, you guys want to hear a funny joke?

Not right now, Joaquin.

Oh, Will, look at that cute little baby bonnet.

Oh!

I know, I like it. It's cute.

A baby bonnet for y 'all baby.

If the head is anything like his daddy, y 'all gonna need to supersize that

thing. That boy has a big head when he was a baby.

Uncle Brown, my head's not that big.

It ain't that small either.

I won.

You have a milk mustache, Joaquin.

So what?

You have a real one.

finish my cereal before Brianna could.

That's good, Joaquin. Now, go to school.

Baby, you take your calcium today? Yes, and my iron. Our baby's gonna be nice

and strong.

That's right.

All right, see you guys later.

Have a good day.

So, Cora, are you ready to be a family with Reggie?

I don't know about that.

There ain't no rush.

That boy like four flat tires. He ain't going nowhere.

Either one probably ate up all of my macaroni and cheese, too.

Look, when you see Leroy S. Brown in there, don't eat it. The S is for stay

of my stuff or I spank somebody's tail.

That's what I'm saying, see?

A good man won't wait forever.

See you later.

Didn't Sasha tell you guys to get ready for school? Come on now.

Oh, well, honey, if we hurry, we'll still have time to fill out the colors

the baby's room. Oh, yeah.

Yeah?

I'm thinking, uh, red and black.

Hawks, baby.

Have a good day at school.

Face it, little bro. They're having a baby. You're about to be history.

You're too.

No, I'm not. I'm the oldest.

Everyone knows the middle child is always invisible.

Where's Joaquin?

Told you!

Since you guys didn't do the last

assignment because you thought I was moving to Dallas, do it tonight!

say you're dismissed she's back hey miss simmons hey coach

okay you guys i need you to do a paper on procrastination and don't wait oh

what y 'all groaning for you're lucky to have a dedicated teacher like miss

simmons right if you listen to her you might graduate in four years or you

graduate in five years hey how's it going hey i just came

by to say

I'm glad you stayed.

Me too, me too.

I wouldn't have been the same without you. Right.

You would have missed those rides to work, huh?

True that.

You know, Reggie, I was thinking, you know, before I left about some things. I

knew I'd catch you in here. Hey, Big Swole, what was y 'all about to do?

Y 'all about to go to lunch, I bet. Listen now. Y 'all about to put y 'all

under somebody's table. I know y 'all are. All right, all right. Now, Brown

Court.

Tell me something. Hey, what was it, Cora? Yes, I was... Be careful, y 'all,

I'll hurt my glutamus minimus. Ain't nobody... Ooh, Mr. Brown, I'm trying to

tell him something. Tell him.

Reggie, how about you come over tonight?

All right. If she can't come over tonight, she gonna be sick.

I am not gonna be sick. You are gonna be sick. I am not.

You are sick. I am not sick. You sick of watching him beg, our belly.

I bet you want to go have a little bagel, don't you? Mr.

Brown... That is so mean. See you tonight.

All right. All right, baby. All right, baby. Look at him. All right, baby.

All

right,

you got it? Yeah.

Joaquin! Sasha said you had to help.

Check out the dribbles, Sasha.

Yeah,

well, let's see if you can bounce a little behind over here and put these

carrots in the fridge.

I didn't even want carrots. I wanted to go to the pizza place. I wanted...

Pizza. Honey, I'm sorry.

Look, I told you, now that I'm pregnant, the smell of pizza makes me nauseous.

It's a... Joaquin!

Joaquin, look what you made me do.

What's wrong with you?

Nothing. She could have caught it.

Yeah, well, you're going to catch a beatdown.

From who?

When I beat you down, you'll see. Bring it on.

Don't push me.

Stop.

Joaquin, before I snatch a curl out of your head.

Stop it.

Hey, what's going on?

Joaquin is acting up, and he almost hit Sasha with a basketball.

I did not.

You did what?

What, are you crazy?

I'll snatch a curl out your head.

I already said that.

Oh.

I'll, uh, well, then I'll do something else to you.

Now, come on, you know Sasha's condition, all right? I know.

We have to think about the baby.

Apologize. Now.

Sorry. Wait a minute, young man.

Stop.

Say it again. This time, mean it.

I'm sorry.

All right.

Now help your sister with the groceries.

Lord, that boy on another reality show?

Well, it's his prerogative. I guess he can do what he want to do.

Oh, he gonna dance on this one.

all dressed up for. I thought you said Reggie coming over here.

Oh, I just wanted to look nice. It's my big night.

Big night for what?

I get it. Carver, you don't get that dope. What? Y 'all sit down.

Don't act desperate now.

Show me how you look when you're not acting desperate.

You look confused.

Oh,

no wonder you said it's going to be a big night.

Oh, save it, Bozo the Brown.

I know you ain't talking about me.

They call these jogging suits for a reason. You're supposed to put them on

jog in them.

I bet you you sweat jelly. Is that great?

Are those flags?

Would you two please stop this? I'm standing by you making my sugar go up.

Pass out then.

Stop it. Stop it.

Romance is in the air.

That ain't no romance.

That's Reggie's chili cheese cologne.

How about we have a seat?

I don't want to sit down.

Man, will you move?

You don't run nothing in this house. Mr. Brown, please.

Will you slide over?

How about we have a seat?

Yeah, that is.

I said we, meaning me and him? It is, me, you, and him. That's we.

Mr. Brown, how about you go in the kitchen and have some crudités?

Mm -hmm.

Of course, something cooler than who?

You probably don't even know what they are.

I know what it is. I know what it is.

Tell me what they are. What?

How do you say it again?

Crudités, Mr. Brady. Come on the kitchen counter. Crudités. I know how to say

it. Some crudités.

Yes.

Reggie, just because you look like you know every food in the world don't mean

you do.

By the way, what's new chip coming out?

You know all the new snacks that's coming out around the world. You know

in China. I'm too chip.

Oh,

would you like something to drink?

Oh, no, no, baby. Not just yet.

Well, you look nice.

I see you have on the same clothes from work.

No, I don't. I changed my shoes.

It's hot.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, Cora.

You all right? You're not going through the change, are you? No, no, no.

Don't you say something like that. Because Mama's going through it.

And sometimes she's as cold as ice, and the next moment, she's sweating like a

pip on Palm Sunday. No, it's nothing like that. No.

Uh, Kyra, I ain't no cruder to nothing, and I ain't nothing but some celery and

carrot sticks and a little dip.

Mr. Graham, they're called crudités.

Oh, Lord, Kyra, the more you hang out with this boy, the dumber you getting.

Y 'all been to handle babies?

They gonna be slow as Reggie's metabolism.

Just slow. Your baby just...

Stop it.

Okay, so where were we?

I don't know how I'm going to say this.

Hey, now, Cora, if this is about my lactose intolerance, I'm taking pills

that. Oh, no, no, no, it has nothing to do with it. No, no.

Reggie, you remember when you proposed and I said I needed to

think about it?

I thought about it.

And I accept.

I'm ready to be your wife.

Yeah.

Ready to be my wife.

Isn't that something?

What's wrong?

You don't want to get married? My whole left arm just went numb.

You don't want to get married?

We're married.

We're married.

We could talk about it.

I only asked you because I didn't want you to leave.

What? You got to be kidding me. Hey, Cora, no. I was desperate.

Yes, you was desperate. No, you was selfish.

Ouch! Yeah, boy.

Now, listen. I mean, listen. Hear me out. I can't believe you did this to me.

But, Cora. Ah.

Now, like she said, do like a tree and go.

Mr. Brown, I got it. I have it, Mr. Brown. I have it.

Mr. Brown, I can handle this. I can.

Uh -uh. You ain't going to enjoy it as much as I am. Let me.

Listen, doesn't anybody want to hear my side of the story?

No.

Reggie, just leave.

All right, listen. You know what? Cora, I got to. You ain't got to go nowhere.

I'm going to get me some Reggie Begones. All right, Cora, please.

If you would just listen to me, you will understand. Say hello to my little

friends. All right, all right, all right, all right. I'm going to go.

But this isn't over.

Joaquin, stop playing the game. Jump in. Come on.

Okay.

Movie. Movie.

Gremlin. Gremlin. Never saw that movie.

Get off me. Wait.

Jurassic Park.

Yes, I did.

Chill out. I'm just making you dinosaur bait.

I'm never going to get a chance.

Oh, come on. Take my turn, honey. Go ahead. Yeah?

Joaquin, you can't turn on the TV. We're playing charade. But I don't want to.

This is supposed to be happy family time, okay? Turn the TV off and be

Jeannie. Pizza.

That's your liberty.

Wait, wait, wait. Song title. Song title.

Category.

Rock -a -bye baby!

Man, I had a whole routine and everything.

All right, come on, Joaquin, take my turn.

I'll pass.

Look, Joaquin, either participate in the game or go to your room.

Good night.

Oh, you're playing? Okay.

Movie! Movie.

Aye. Aye.

Uh -huh.

I'm not going to go. Never?

Okay, never. I never. Okay.

Hug,

love, squeeze, squeeze.

Give me. Give me squeeze.

Give me.

Squeeze me. Excuse me?

Give me. Warm, fuzzy feeling, love, love, want.

Want. Want. Want. Okay, want. I never want.

Me? You never want Sasha?

I never want me.

I want me Sasha to swing.

Swing low, sweet chariot.

I know you're still mad because you won't return any of my calls.

I'm not mad. I just don't want nothing to do with you.

Listen, if you would just listen to... Look, don't make me pull something

slightly illegal out of my bag.

Cora.

Cora.

Cora, look, I'm not giving up on us.

Who kick you, boy?

Brown, I don't want no trouble. I was just trying to talk to Cora. First of

it's Mr. Brown to you. And I don't know where you from, but where I'm from, if

you mess with mine, you mess with me. So let's take this outside. Take our

shirts off.

I'm not going outside with you. You'll get harpooned if we take our shirts off.

You keep yours on.

I'm not going outside with you, Brown. Well, you can get it whooped right in

here, because, boy, I take these keys.

I take these keys right... No, not them keys. Them for the church.

But these keys right here, boy, I keep...

What's wrong with you?

I mean, I can understand Cora being mad, but you should be glad that me and Cora

ain't getting married. I am glad, but you hurt my Cora.

I can't marry her, Brown, because I love her too much.

That's the dumbest thing I ever heard.

Look, man, I know, I admit, I shouldn't have proposed to her.

She deserves much more than I have to offer.

Well, you got a point there.

You ain't got no car.

You live at home with your mama, and I bet your credit score is like six.

Hey, I'm working on that.

Okay, look.

What you gonna do, big brother?

I'm gonna get myself together.

You know, I just want to make her happy. I want to know when we walk down that

aisle that I can really take care of her.

Is that true?

Cross my heart.

Cora, don't fall for that. What the what?

So, uh... Do you believe me?

Yes. No, she don't believe me.

So, uh, is it okay if we just date for a while?

Yes. No.

Clever, don't fall for the banana in the tailpipe, girl. Don't do that.

So when the time is right, you'll say?

No.

Clever, you just take a deep breath and think about what you trying to say.

Look at him.

What?

That we're good?

Yes, we're good.

That's sweet.

You just fell for the first chapter of the player's handbook.

How would you know?

Medea said that same thing to me when we were young.

You don't tell me you might be young, but you ready.

Let the neighbors hear my name. Maybe.

You're weak, Carver. You sound weak to me. She should have been saying your

name.

That's a good one, boy.

Joaquin, we need to talk.

Why? All you do is talk about the baby.

Honey, that's because we're excited.

Why do you need a baby? What's wrong with me and Brianna?

Joaquin, there's nothing wrong with you. Oh, Sasha, that's not what science

says.

Then why aren't you guys paying attention to me?

We're sorry for ignoring you.

Maybe we got a little caught up in planning for your new brother or sister.

But once it gets here, I'll be invisible.

Nobody pays attention to the middle kids.

What?

Okay, Joaquin, where did you get that ridiculous idea?

I mean, that was so good. Thank you.

Brianna.

Okay, I'm sorry.

I didn't think you'd take it so seriously.

Joaquin, listen, honey.

Listen to me.

You will not be invisible.

Absolutely not.

You're going to be a big brother.

Yeah, a big brother that this baby will need and depend on.

And your contributions are going to be very, very important.

Guess you couldn't expect Brianna to hold up her end, huh?

Well, actually, we're going to expect both of you to hold up both of your

I guess if it's a boy, Brianna can teach him how to shave his beard.

Okay, it's not true!

No, I...

Sound ugly.

Ugly. That's Edna.

Edna ugly.

That ain't what it is. Okay, go ahead.

Sound like. Uh -huh.

Eat food.

Eating. You ate. You the one ate up my stuff. You better stay out my stuff or

I'll spank you. You don't be.

That's not it.

Oh. Yeah.

I ate is what you're trying to say. I ate. Oh, I ate. I ate. I ate. I ate.

I hate clowns. Oh, I hate.

Oh, I hate.

Dan, you a jerk. I know. You a, no.

Oh, that's too hard. I hate charades.

Exactly.