Original subtitles

Thank you.

Shoe shine alone.

Brown, Mr. Brown, aren't you going to get that?

It ain't for me.

Well, how do you know?

Because it ain't been for me the last 17 times.

Hello. Hey, Reggie. Cora, I got three words for you.

Call blocking.

Yeah, I know you've been calling. I told you I talked to you at school. I'm

leaving now.

Really? Ouch.

Then why don't you ride with us?

How did you get here? On the wings of love.

I know Thelma ain't in front of my ass blowing.

He coming.

Mama.

Mama.

Oh, Mama, don't be like that.

You know the school's on your bus route.

You say wings of love, huh?

More like buffalo wings of love.

Oh, too early, bro.

We ain't got to be so mean. Cory, he's just ignorant.

Y 'all going to probably live in an ignorant house with a bunch of ignorant

and an ignorant dog that barks backwards. He'll be like...

That is so mean.

What an ignorant granddaddy is what we're going to have.

This is ignorant. Cory, you have a bad day.

Be my hair green?

Yep, I'm using it right here.

Shine my shoes.

To shine your shoes?

Yep, I'm putting a glass shot on these bad boys.

How would you feel if I took your shoe polish and put it on my head?

I don't know, let's see.

You've got to be so mean.

The two of you are here.

Nep, you cover your neck, she want to feed on you.

She been killing animals in the neighborhood. Shut up, you giant turd.

the purple is behind you. I got a problem.

Ever since I picked him up from the hospital, he's been acting strange.

He trying to drive a stake through your heart again?

Look, Ms. Edna, it's common for patients with new pacemakers to be a little bit

apprehensive. So just be a little nicer and a little bit more understanding than

usual. You know what?

Next thing you need to do is shut down all the blinds and turn off all the

lights. Make the house pitch black. That way he ain't got to look at all of that

right there. Just get up and do it.

Listen, you human eclipse.

I've been very nice to him.

Oh, get out of my face.

I thought you and the colonel was coming down here together.

How you beat him down here? You flew?

I took his glasses, threw them in the bushes, and ran.

Boss is fast.

Well, I guess if the colonel's down in the dumps, he won't be for long.

What's up, big dog?

Little dog?

Hey, up high.

Down low.

Too slow.

That joke never gets old.

That's because it died in the 70s.

He walked around here with broke glasses.

Because Edna threw him in the bushes.

Why'd you do that, Edna?

Um, I think I have Tourette's.

How shall mine?

Colonel Edna told me you was going crazy.

I did not. You don't have to lie.

You're a monk's friend.

And me.

I'm taking off.

Colonel, it's nice to see you up in Adam. I feel good, Will.

Do you feel good enough to discuss rescheduling the wedding?

We'll talk about that later, Edna.

Brown, you're doing a poor job of putting a shine on those shoes.

What you talking about? I can see myself in them. Look at that.

They're breezy.

I like them like that. If not

now, when will we discuss it?

Not now, not now, Edna. Can't you see we have a shoe shine emergency here?

Oh, I'll have these puppies spit sand in no time.

See? See what I'm talking about?

Every time I start discussing the wedding, he changes the subject.

You know what?

I'll talk to him.

Yes, I will. What? Brown, you gonna help me?

No, I don't want Colonel spitting on my Luther for tons.

We need to talk.

I know that this might be bad timing, but there are a few things that I need

say. And what I have to say really needs to come across as soon as possible.

So, Corey, Corey, you got a strong grip, baby.

I'm listening.

Oh, Reggie, Reggie.

Come on, man. I didn't know that was you.

Apparently. I guess you think all light -skinned hands look alike.

Actually, they kind of do.

What are you doing down there in Cora's drawers?

I'm trying to surprise my woman, if you don't mind.

I'll just come back later.

You know, I think what you're doing is pretty messed up. I know.

Yeah, I don't see why you won't try to defend it, Matt. What?

I know. I'm not going to try to defend it.

Fact is, I've been crazy about Cora since we were in high school.

I just don't want her to get away without me at least letting her know how

feel. But wasn't you the one that says principals and teachers couldn't date?

Just trying to follow the rules.

But you breaking the man rules.

Man, I don't want to wake up tomorrow wondering what if.

Well, you keep this up, and you might not wake up at all.

Don't let the typhoon you, player.

Oh, I'm just trying to protect my relationship.

Hi, Reggie. How's it going? Bye, Reggie. Bye.

This is your classroom.

I don't want to be involved in none of this one -up stuff.

Hey, ain't nobody trying to one -up nobody.

Got you some flowers.

Thank you, Reggie.

Oh, have you thought about what we talked about?

Yeah, that's the only thing I've been able to think about lately, except my

job in Dallas. And why is it when you buy a new mattress, you can't take the

technique off of it? I mean, also, what do they call this, a funny bone?

And why is that? Cora, Cora, Cora, have you thought about what we, you and I,

what we talked about?

Oh, Gordon, look, I'm flattered.

But I'm with Reggie.

Ha! Blip -da!

Ha -ha -ha! Guess you heard that.

I'll accept that.

For now.

That's telling, baby.

These flowers are old.

Yeah, and hand -picked.

Your man is romantical and thrifty.

Translation, catch.

Miss Edna, if you're that concerned about getting married, why don't you

ask the colonel?

Or she could just take a pause and write in the dirt.

Will you marry me?

I can't believe

you two share the same DNA.

Me and Carmen don't share no DNA. I'm her daddy.

I'd still get a second opinion.

So,

when are you two in Dallas?

Now, you know you're going to have to tell Reggie his answer before you leave.

Maybe I'll write him a letter.

You're going to have to read it to him.

Well, ain't that the pot calling the kettle slow?

Wait, wait.

Ain't that the colonel not calling you at all?

Boom! I blew out, Cora.

Look at the shrimp.

Isn't that Cora?

David. Here's your shoes, Brown.

boots was white. What did you do?

Well, that's a spit, Sam Brown.

What you spitting on them black tar?

They look good, don't they?

Hey, listen, can I talk to Edna?

Oh, sure, sure. Come on, Mr. Brown. Come on what?

They can go home and talk. If he want to talk to her, he can saddle up and ride

on up out of here.

I messed up my white boots.

Now, I know I haven't been myself lately, and every time you bring up the

wedding, I change the subject.

Is it something I've done? Oh, no, no, no. You've been great. You've been

It's been all me.

But it's all over now.

So you're ready to talk about the wedding? Yep, yep, yep. I've been

about that. Well,

I think the wedding should be postponed.

Indefinitely. You what?

What? You what?

What do you mean indefinitely? Yeah, what do you mean indefinitely?

I thought we had some privacy.

And I thought I asked y 'all to go home.

How long have you felt like this?

Ever since you got here, I didn't want y 'all here in the first place. I said,

what's she doing here? She got hair everywhere, all over my ass. Every time

look, I'm stretching like I got fleas or something. Mr. Rush.

I thought we were happy.

We are, but this heart attack has been a sign.

Yes, it's a sign you should lay off them pork rinds and this musty tail.

Look at that.

Now, I know this sounds crazy, but ever since my heart attack, I've had this

surge of energy. I mean, it's like a rebirth. But I thought we were going to

share everything. I want to feel your surge, too.

Mr. Branson, is she not being nasty? Well, it sounds nasty to me.

Why don't you use some of that energy on me?

Now, that's nasty. I know that's nasty.

Stop being nasty.

Look, I don't want to send any mixed messages. I mean, I need to figure this

out. Look, I got to go because I don't want to be late for my low impact step

class.

You ain't got to go to no step class. You just get this horse down and step up

over here.

Oh, my.

That was a good one.

Girl,

you sure make a racing look good.

What are you doing? Coral, we need to talk.

I know you're about to embark upon an important career in Dallas, and I don't

think you ought to take old baggage into a new life.

Oh, baggage?

I just bought new luggage yesterday.

What are you talking about, Reggie? Or as the students call him, Sir Lose -A

-Lot.

Well, I appreciate your concern, but it is not your business what I do with my

baggage, luggage, even Reggie.

Why don't you make the best decision for yourself? And not only that, I know you

haven't given him an answer yet.

And how do you know that?

Because he hasn't announced it over the PA system.

Look here, you and I both know Reggie as many things.

But subtle, that boy ain't.

You're right about that.

I mean, we were at a movie one night, and he was so loud that the actress on

screen told him to be quiet.

That's exactly what I'm talking about. Cora, you're a beautiful, fun -loving,

and Christian woman. You don't need some loudmouth, bus -riding heathen that

lives with his mama in your world.

Well, at least he has his own room.

And nobody's perfect.

And nobody, except you.

Please.

And what makes you think you can trust him?

I mean, the man would say anything just to get you to be with him.

That's the same thing he said about you.

Fact is, though, Cora, you haven't given him an answer yet.

And I think deep down inside, you know that he is not the man for you.

And you are.

Cora Thurman, I could make you happier than Reggie ever could.

Could what?

You in here begging again?

Cora and I are having a grown folks conversation.

About you begging?

Reggie, it's okay.

No, no, Cora, I'm tired of this cat meddling.

I'm just trying to help her to make the right decision. About what?

She's taking.

She might not be as taking as you thought.

What?

Cora, did he threaten you?

No. I read about guys like you that use their position to get what they want.

Damn, please. You know you don't read.

Oh, that's it.

Yeah.

That's it. Let's dance, Cupcake.

Let's do this, Doughboy.

before the kids come out. Will, we're going to be late for my checkup. No,

not. What is it? All right.

Remember that thing I told you we'd get when we got pregnant?

We got a new car?

No, no, no.

The other thing.

How can you fit a boob job in the garage?

Check it out.

So look, so when we're in our room, we can hear when little Will Jr.

is crying.

Will Jr.? If it's a girl.

Will!

Will, why can't you hit my cell phone again?

No, I didn't. I told you it was in your room.

No, it's not. I checked.

Liar. Did you check in the drawer where you keep your cheat sheets and

cigarettes?

Cigarettes?

It's not a cheat sheet.

Wait, wait, wait, wait. There shouldn't be any cigarettes either.

Joaquin, have you seen her cell?

No.

I think I gotta call you guys.

Okay, slow down.

See, I told you.

I've been set up by the man.

Joaquin. Don't you have something to say to your sister?

Okay.

Shotgun!

Yes,

Colonel, I bowed three... That was good, Brown.

What the... What are you doing here in my house?

I lost my key.

I'm locked out.

Well, couldn't you just dig your way in? Just... Look,

Charles Darkly, I'm not in the...

Where are you two coming from?

Bowling? Yes, we had a tournament. You don't think I just walk around in this

old ugly shirt for fun, do you?

Yes.

Haters. You know what? Hatred is such an ugly color. Just hatred on y 'all.

Um, can I have a few seconds with my... You know, I don't really know what to

call you nowadays.

How about pray?

Try to watch if she's been eating all the animals in the neighborhood.

Cats are missing from everywhere.

Is everything okay?

No, it's not.

I'm just trying to understand this.

We were supposed to be spending the rest of our lives together.

What happened?

I almost died. That's what happened.

But you didn't. So why did that change things?

And when I was in that hospital, all I kept thinking about was, have I lived

enough?

Is that what this is about?

Sewing your wild oats? Oh, no.

Let me tell you something.

You don't need to sew oats.

You need to eat them with some fiber and follow it with a prune chaser.

That's what I'm talking about.

See, that's what I mean.

I don't want to feel old.

Oh, sweetie.

Sweetie. Come on.

We were supposed to be spending the rest of our lives together.

And, uh, look, I don't know if I'm ready for this yet.

Well, if you don't know now, you'll never know.

Lose your teeth.

Mmm, tax cut, hip.

You could have asked the door.

All right, ain't nobody but Reggie. Well, how do you know?

Because I can smell cheap cologne and bus tokens.

I knew there was a bus token down there.

Hey, am I the first one here?

Hello, Reggie.

And that would be no. He's been here for a while.

Hmm, how'd you beat me here?

Duh, he has a car.

And those emissions are killing the ozone.

But I guess you don't care about the world.

So, wait, were you trying to tell me that's the reason you don't have a car?

I guess your mama's bus is keeping the ozone alive.

You're a big old aftershock.

Mr. Brown, out!

You know what?

My money is on Gordon anyway.

Hey, Reggie, let me borrow $20 so I can put it on Gordon.

I'm going to take these cupcakes because you know you don't need them.

Look at you. I bet your fingers got stretch marks on them. Get out, Mr.

Out. Get him going. Tang up. You tang up.

And you two need to stop this competition thing.

Well, it won't be a competition if he never wins, so go ahead and tell the man

what he needs to know so that you can put him out of his misery.

You can't even spell misery.

Misery. R -E -G -G -I -E.

Misery.

right. Is that right?

Look, have a seat. Please, have a seat.

I want you to know I like both of you for different reasons.

But at the end of the day, I have to choose me.

Ah, I knew it! In your face, boy!

Huh?

And I'm leaving for Dallas this weekend.

What? What?

What? What?

Tied up with wool in the garage.

Oh. Too busy for ice cream?

Well, I guess that means you get the front seat.