Original subtitles

Good morning.

Good morning.

Who do I have to sleep with to have a hot cup of coffee?

Not me.

Here you go.

Oh, I'm so excited. I'm finally going to do it.

Oh, girl, what's his name?

Get your mind out of the gutter.

It's a teaching job, Miss Edna. What teaching job, Cora?

Well, Mr. Brown, I've been wanting to teach for a long time.

I went down to the school and applied a couple weeks ago.

Well, Carter, what other secrets you keeping?

And is Carter even your real name?

It's not a secret. I just didn't tell anyone.

Okay, let me get this.

If you didn't tell nobody and don't nobody know, I would call that... A

What you gonna do? You gonna leave us like everybody else? You gonna leave me

like everybody else?

You gonna buy fancy clothes and get you a sports car and get you a deluxe

apartment in the sky and leave me here?

Well, I'm not on a teacher's salary.

Thank you, Colonel, because it's not about the money, Mr. Brown.

It's about making a difference.

Why, that's good, but my baby's gonna be a teacher.

You're gonna be teaching the four R's. Reading, writing, arithmetic, and

Good for you, Cora. Thank you. We need more good teachers. Oh, I had a teacher

back in the day.

He was tall, dark, and... Edna!

Don't nobody want to hear that.

Huh? I did learn biology.

Well, wait, wait. It's just a substitute position right now, you know, but if I

do good, it can become permanent.

Oh, Cora, I'm so proud of you. I don't care what nobody say.

You know what, though? I'd be more proud of you as a real teacher.

Yeah, you know what them kids do to the substitute?

They tear them up. You know what? Subst is good, too. That's okay. You go ahead.

It's a start. You got to start somewhere.

You got to walk before you crawl.

Crawl before you can walk.

There you go. But if you all would excuse me, I don't want to be late.

Can't keep those little angels waiting. Good luck, Cora.

day. Have a good day.

They gonna tear her behind.

Cora, okay, okay. Let that one get away from you. We got five more claps.

We can do it.

We can do it.

Lord, you got to help me.

Okay, dear Lord, I need you to help me. I can't do this by myself.

I need you to give me a little strength.

Oh, wait, wait, wait, Lord. I need you to give me a lot of strength so I can

just help your precious little, your precious little angels.

Amen.

All right.

Good morning.

Good morning, darling.

Good morning.

Excuse me.

Shut up, you fools!

Good morning!

I'm Ms. Cora Simmons.

All right, I'm your sub today, and I need to take the attendance, so... All

right, let's get started.

Now, if you're here, raise your hand, and if you're not...

Lakeisha Adams.

Raise your hand.

Marcel is coming into town from New York to help me launch my clothing line.

Marcel.

Tell me more.

He's rich.

He's talented. He's rich. He's single.

You missed me.

And he's a successful fashion designer.

Oh, and he's rich.

Oh, you mean he's gay.

No. Do all fashion designers have to be gay?

Yep.

But I don't make the rules.

Well, he's not gay.

Marcel!

London! I almost love you. Almost love you, too.

Wait a minute now.

You two are supposed to be friends?

I've stood closer to a landmine.

Edna Barn.

Oh, Barn.

Is that your name? Or where you buy your clothes?

We're all concerned.

Don't get twisted. I'm the reason why white men can't jump.

There are bullets in my sock drawer.

But you didn't get them from me.

Oh, so London, are you ready to take the fashion world by storm?

Just call me soon.

There's something missing.

I need something more vibrant.

A little out of the ordinary.

I want God.

Exciting. Anybody see my toenail clippers?

I need that.

You need your toenails clipped too?

Julie, I need you.

I need your style.

Oh, your fashion.

You touch me? Where have you been hiding yourself? I was in the closet.

But isn't it nice to be free?

Okay, who is this?

He's a fashion designer, and she says he's not gay.

I'll believe if I see it.

Not that I want to see it.

Is this Magnificent Creature?

Magnificent, no. Creature, yes.

That's Brown.

The missing piece in my fashion puzzle.

I can make brown the new black.

But I want to be the new black. You can't be black. You're too white.

Wait. Wait, I'm having a moment.

Well, the bathroom is upstairs. You look like that.

Silence!

I can see it all now.

I can see the brand name of the clothing line.

It is Brown London.

I love it! No!

Maybe it's London Brown. It's chic meets urban.

Sherban.

Okay, wait, wait, wait, wait.

You want me to design something with brown?

Not design something.

Create.

I want you to take your two fabulous styles and mix them all together to

one. Spectacular clothing line. Now, I'll be back tomorrow to see what you

children have come up with.

So, remember... Sherbin, huh?

Wow me.

Sherbin, I... Wow me.

I thought you said I was the new black.

What are you talking about Sherbin?

All right, you got your paper? All right, thank you so much. Your paper?

you. Thank you so much.

Oh, binabob, binabob, get up.

Where's your paper?

Anybody else got their papers?

Anybody else got their papers? All right, well, we don't have your papers.

talk about the Great Depression this morning. All right, we ready?

I got depressed when I walked up in here.

Now, that's your last time for disrupting my class. I'm sending you to

principal. You understand that?

You know, Mr. Johnson tried to tell me what to do once, and he ain't here no

more.

You mean he isn't here anymore?

Little girl. Little girl? You don't know me. I will choke you to sleep.

I'm your teacher.

That's what I am. For today?

You ain't nothing but a thug.

Speaking of thugs, what you got for lunch, huh?

What side of energy, girl?

That's mine. Hey, Mimi, catch.

You gonna need that for your beatdown later.

Hey, hey, that's enough. That's enough.

Oh, you trying to put me on blast?

I ain't scared of you.

I'm not trying to scare you.

I'm trying to help you learn. something.

What if I don't feel like learning?

What if I feel like hurting somebody?

Have a seat, sweetheart.

This is my class.

I'll run this joint.

I'm gonna let you do you.

Go on and get your teacher on.

I haven't dismissed class yet.

I have not dismissed class.

If I was you,

I'll wash my back.

What's wrong, Cora?

Crazy.

Okay,

okay, Cora, Cora, what are you saying? Okay.

was crazy, and y 'all was at the zoo.

Well, Cora, you're confusing us. What you saying?

I don't know if I can do this.

I want to teach Mr.

Brown, but those kids are just too tough.

What happened to all the little angels?

They demons.

Cora, you can't give up that fast.

Cora, that's right. You can't let them students tell you nothing.

Madea is your mama. Now, inside of you is a nasty...

The story of Brown is right.

Well, I remember when I was in Nunn, I was surrounded by the enemy.

But I didn't give up.

I didn't back down. I killed 13 of them.

can't teach these kids. Oh, Cora, you don't have to teach them. It's public

school. What?

There it is.

What is that to say?

Well, ladies, I'm going to get back to my wonderful fashion designer.

I'm making my own clothesline.

But, Cora, Daddy's going to write you a note for school tomorrow.

Don't beat up my baby.

Okay, I'll see you later.

I don't think I can go back.

You know, one of those students threatened me today, and if she run up

again, I'm scared.

fraction.

What is the worst that could happen?

I could get 10 to 20, or they could kill me. Then give them an F.

I'm serious, Miss Edna.

I don't think I could do it. I don't even think I want to go back.

Oh, well.

There goes another dedicated teacher who could have made a difference in some

kid's life, but that is what you went there for, right?

To make a difference?

Fashion line.

No, our own fashion line. Remember Sherbin?

Where is our model?

Here I am, darlings.

That looked more like a model T.

All right, I'm ready to play dress up.

Okay.

Ah, there.

Chic. I don't know.

Uh, it's okay, but it's missing that brown something. It's not enough brown.

Got the perfect tie for it right here. Watch this.

Put that around there.

Bam! Look at that dang whistle.

Bam! Bam! Girl, you look fabulous.

Not so fast, Mr.

Brown. She needs shoes.

Oh, wow.

I've gone a long way in these bad boys.

Oh, I'm sure you've gone all the way in those bad boys.

You got this by a mannequin.

Mannequins can't talk.

I tell you what, I got the perfect belt there to keep people's eyes off them

ugly shoes.

Who'd you have to wrestle to get that belt?

Well, I got a great idea.

She's gonna need designer sunglasses to keep her eyes off that ugly belt.

Well, maybe she's gonna need this fabulous coat so it can take their eyes

this ugly, stupid dress.

That dress is not stupid.

Girl, that dress is stupider than you are.

That dress is not stupider than me.

Yeah, you're right. You're more stupid.

I can't work with you. I can't work with you either. I tell you what. We're

going to have a fashion showdown, and we'll ask Marcel who's the best. See who

you want to work with.

Fine! Fine!

I think you two should go half on a baby.

you ain't that smart.

No, you're the one who isn't smart.

You should be in here trying to learn something.

And to better yourself.

Study me.

Man, all you teachers are the same coming in here preaching about hopes and

dreams. In the real world, if you want to make it, you got to beat people down.

Just like I should do to you. You know what? I'm about sick of you. I don't

the money.

You want to send me to the hospital?

But if I'm going, you're going. If not, to the grave.

Do you understand me? You don't come in here trying to run my class. I run this

class, young lady.

You understand me? I will break you down like a fraction, baby, and divide you

up into bitty, itty, bitty pieces. Do you understand?

I've been taught by the best.

My mother is ma to the D -E -A.

Ma to the D -E -A.

Do you understand me? I will beat you down.

Hey. Hey, just stop saying words with M and D, all right?

didn't want you here, I would have put you out.

I asked you to have a seat.

Who are you trying to be, my mother?

No, I'm trying to be your teacher.

I'm trying to save you.

London are showing their passions to some New York fashion weasel.

He's all the way from New York? A fashion designer?

I'm Cora Thimble.

I'm the weasel.

Welcome,

ladies and gentlemen, to the first, and hopefully the last...

It's like a stick wrapped in aluminum foil.

I didn't break down. I know I did.

All right. Shake your money maker.

That was London.

And now we have...

This is devoid of pleasure.

What are you doing? What about Sherban?

Sherban is dead.

There it lies, dying from your bickering.

Now I'm off to search the world to find something new, something fresh.

Something like... What?

A daisy.

Yes!

Like you!

It's nouveau riche. Meets old Hollywood. I need it. I want it. Have

it. Are you ready to take the fashion world by storm?

Yes, darling.

Ciao, me.

See what you did?

We could have been rich and famous.

Okay. Cora, you still alive? Them kids didn't kill you.

Cora, I'm okay. You would have been proud of me today.

Oh, Cora.

Well, at least one of us successful.

Well, you look successful, and your outfit is fabulous. You like that?

Oh, yeah. Cora, we don't need line. We can start our own fashion line.

Oh, no, no, no. Uh -huh. You a sub, and I'm urban.

We can call it suburban.

You like that, Cora?

No, Mr. Brown.

Well, okay, how about B. Diddy?

Like that, you'll be a real teacher soon.