Original subtitles

Reggie, I was trying to have lunch. What'd you call us down here for?

Yeah, what'd you call us down here for?

First of all, I got a surprise for you. And secondly, ain't nobody called you.

And fourthly, you too down to be getting smart with anybody.

So what do you want me to say?

Oh, Cora, it is not a what.

It's a who.

You got a big turkey in there.

Introducing my frat brother, Mike.

Ha!

Ha! Ha!

Ha! Oh, ha!

Ooh.

Hey, pleased to meet you. I knew it. I knew it. He trying to pimp you out,

Corbin. You ain't finna pimp my daughter. Get you some of this dumb one.

Hi,

I'm Cora. Hi, pleased to meet you. And this is my daddy, Mr.

Brown. Yes, I'm her daddy.

Mike here, he's a big -time football recruiter at Decatur U.

Wow, that's impressive.

Yep, yep, that's impressive.

Yeah. Yeah, you're a big -time recruiter, and your friend is just big.

Hey, Cora, in college, I used to be better than him at everything.

Please. Football? Nope. Baseball? Are you kidding me? Women? You pitched a no

-hitter on and off the field.

Yeah, but that's all changed now.

No,

it ain't.

So, Mike, what brings you to town?

Oh, he came to see me about a job.

Really? Yes, I'm going to have my frat work with me at Decatur U in Illinois.

Doing what? Y 'all got an eating team?

No, coaching.

Coaching what?

The eating team?

Football.

Reggie's coaching football? You got to be serious.

Be serious.

Are you serious?

Of course he's serious.

The university's looking for an assistant coach, and this is the best

the job. Really? That's wonderful, Reggie.

Cara, that's whack.

That sandwich this boy got hidden in his drawer is a better coach than he is. I

ain't got no sandwich hidden in my drawer.

Hey, coach, bite me.

Say cheese.

Mr. Brown.

Reggie, so does that mean you have to relocate?

Yeah, maybe.

Yeah. Yeah, like I was saying, Reggie is the best coach in here right now.

Oh, hey, Reggie, I've been looking all over for you. I confiscated this from

of your students.

Oh, well, he was just practicing.

I mean, you said he was grading on the curve.

Yeah.

So Reggie's been telling me about all the work he's been doing here, and

the kind of man we wanted to cater you.

I've been making so much money.

I could buy a house, a car. I could buy you bus tickets to and from the games. I

could buy you hot dogs.

And we're talking about footlong score.

I can hardly wait.

Well, just hold up on the bus ticket, okay? It's not final yet, but they asked

me to find somebody, so I thought of my boy.

But he wasn't available, so then I called Reg!

Oh, go ahead, Pratt. Man, you know I can coach. Hey, coach.

I learned all the plays from the playbook.

Oh, David Hill.

Hey, you need to meet Mike... Mr.

Johnson. He's a big -time football recruiter at Decatur U.

Really? How you doing, sir? And what do you play, son? A little halfback.

A little? You ought to see this boy play.

Mm -hmm. He leads the district in touchdowns. He had four last week.

Actually, that was five, Ms. Simmons. All right.

And we almost won.

This kid is being recruited by some of the top schools in the country.

I'm surprised you never heard of him. We have so many kids trying to join our

program, you know, it's hard for me to keep up. Huh, but none of them is like

David here. He averages eight yards a carry.

8 .5.

And he's a 3 .0 student.

That's 3 .6, Miss Simmons.

All right.

Yeah, that's pretty impressive.

Hey, look inside.

Don't correct us in front of company.

What

are you

doing, Mr. Brown?

I'm watching Freeloaders and the people that love them.

But the TV isn't on.

Hint, hint.

Where are you going?

We are going shoe shopping.

Oh. I feel sorry for you.

I don't like going to shoe shopping. They sit there, they try on one shoe,

put off another shoe, they try on another, and they do it, you're sitting

you're waiting, you're looking, and they never make up their mind.

That's why I bring a book.

Hey, everybody.

Hey, walk on. Hey, guys.

Hello, Brianna.

Brianna.

Listening to that loud music is going to damage your hearing.

What? See, it started already. Let me fix that. Okay, no, Mr. Brown, I'm just

kidding. I can hear just fine.

Yeah, you better stop that. The Lord gonna make that happen for real. You're

gonna go deep.

I'm telling you, I don't play like that. Mm -mm.

That's why I can hear like a snake.

Snakes don't have ears.

Oh. Well, anyway, I can hear a rat pee on cotton.

Y 'all hear that? Y 'all didn't hear that?

I think Cora's calling you.

Yeah, I hear it. Yeah, I can hear it. Yes.

Yeah, I hear, I heard, I know. Come on, Rob, I'm coming.

She's not home, is she? No.

Come on, baby, go.

Come on. Uh, Sasha, can you pick up my red blouse from the cleaners? I want to

wear that to Tracy's party.

Well, have you finished your essay yet?

Huh?

No essay, no part -time.

Come on, baby, let's go before all the good shoes are picked over.

Sure, can't wait.

Is the worst?

I guess you better get started.

Hey, uh, why don't you help me?

Let me think about that.

Uh, no.

Come on, Joaquin, pretty please?

I would do it for you.

If you did it for me, I wouldn't get out of elementary school.

Hey, hey.

I'll give you a quarter.

A quarter?

Mm -hmm.

McCorder, who do you think I am?

Deep from what's happening?

How about you give me your iPod?

No way.

Nobody touches my iPod.

Okay, then.

Good luck.

Okay.

You can have it for one week.

But you have to write the essay in my words. I don't want my teacher to get

suspicious. Deal?

That's easy. I'll just write it in crayon.

Deal.

Not so fast. You need to get to writing.

Man, that David kid is a beast.

I did not know he was that good.

I taught him everything he knows.

Yes, I noticed after he inhaled that sandwich after practice.

You still got jokes.

I don't even eat that much.

You want one?

I got another one down there.

All right.

Wow, that David kid is faster in person than he is on film. What? I thought

you'd never seen him before.

I watched films in your class while you were teaching Jim yesterday.

I told you he was good.

Listen, we got to get him to come play for us.

I mean, wouldn't you want to coach him again? Of course, but he's being

recruited by some of the other top schools in this country. Now it'll be a

sell. No, no, no, no, no. That boy needs family.

You're like his family. Come on. I'm sure he'll listen to you.

What's this for?

What?

I can't treat my new coach and his lady to a nice dinner?

Come on, you know what this position comes with.

Oh, this is mine?

This is mine.

But the perks of the job get things like this.

Take your lady out to a nice dinner.

Oh, my man.

Hey,

I hope that backseat is roomy. Whoa, whoa, whoa, not in my car.

You all right, Fred?

Thank you very much. You the man. No, you the man.

No, you the man.

Actually, I'm the man.

Yes, Mike.

Yes, David Hill will be wearing blue and gold next year.

Yes, I'm sure.

David Hill is so poor, all I have to do is flash a few bucks in front of him, a

couple of empty promises to old Reg, and it'll be like taking candy from a 40

-year -old baby.

I'll talk to you later.

I am the man.

How do they look?

Better on the floor.

Come on, baby. Can't put these on the floor.

They're new.

Hey, guys.

Hey, guys.

Hey.

What's wrong, Brianna?

Brought my essay back.

What happened?

Booyah. I got next.

Guess this means I'll be going to Tracy's party after all. Yay!

Wow, this is great.

Thanks.

The Great Wall of China and its effect on the African continent.

What do you know about the Great Wall of China?

I know it's great.

And?

And?

And?

It's in Africa.

China.

Well, we are very proud of you.

Hey, guys, I got an A on my math quiz.

All right, you know what? That's great, buddy.

You know what, Brianna?

I knew if you applied yourself, you could do it.

Oh, actually, they entered my essay into a contest.

The first prize is $500.

It is?

It is. It is?

I'm proud of you, too. You know, even Joaquin has never had an essay in a

contest.

I think we should have this framed.

Good idea.

These two.

Yeah, they're pretty.

Speaking of framed, we need to talk.

What's up?

We need to renegotiate.

No way.

A deal's a deal.

Here's my iPod. You have a week.

The deal is off.

I get it. You're jealous because I'm getting all the attention.

That's not true. If your essay wins, I want my half of the $500.

You're crazy.

That's $150.

No, Brianna. It's only... only $300.

Deal.

Ladies and... gentlemen, gentlemen, gentlemen.

Introducing the new assistant coach for Decatur U, Reggie Perfect

Season Brooks.

Oh, sorry about that.

You know, I really hate to take credit for all these wins, but since I'm

responsible, I will.

I know some of y 'all is wondering, how did I get...

I had no fiber, high -fat diet, you know.

There ain't nothing wrong with my diet.

Boy, you eat deep -fried cake.

I don't eat no deep -fried cake.

Uh, y 'all had me to open your drawer. Whoa.

Reggie, we need to talk.

Uh, Reggie need to jog.

Mr. Brown, would you just sit down and just be quiet for a second, please? Yes,

ma 'am. I'm acidic, and I'm quiet for a second.

Reggie, I need to talk to you about something, but I don't know how.

Well, maybe you should send him a taco gram wrapped in bacon.

Reggie, Mike is playing you, and he's trying to illegally recruit David.

What? Mike ain't like that.

Look, Reggie, I overheard him say all he has to do is give David some cash and

you some empty promises. He said it was like taking candy from a 40 -year -old

baby.

Well, I mean, he's not talking about me. I'm 39 1⁄2.

Ow! Let's get real.

Come on, be for serious. Come on, now.

Let's just be real with each other like a reality show.

as a coach. Let's be serious. If we're going to be serious, let's be serious to

be real. You want to be serious? I'm serious right now. You can't coach

football. You're not helping. You're sorry.

I'm serious, Reggie. I heard it with my own ears. Well, then you heard wrong,

Cora. Oh, good. Because Mike ain't like that.

You're just going to lie to your own family.

You are looking at Decatur U's

newest star.

How you doing, Mr. Simmons?

What's up, coach?

Well, if it ain't the illegal recruiter and his boy, Ocho Stinko.

What you smell is success, brother.

No, what I smell is a mess, brother.

Number two.

Where you guys coming from?

And where'd you get these clothes?

Yeah, because you look like DJ Slimmy Slim.

Never heard of him.

Exactly. Thanks. Look, Mike took me shopping.

He said, if I'm going to be making a million bucks, I might as well start

looking like it. Well, you look like a million pennies. And you can't afford

these things.

Well, the booster's at Decatur. You can.

Sort of a token of our appreciation for a verbal commitment.

David, you can't accept gifts from a college coach.

Now, if they find out, you lose a year of eligibility.

Look, the big -time schools do it all the time.

Excuse me, do y 'all need security guard?

I'll make some calls.

My man, I'm going to help you get that thousand.

I'm not even doing it myself.

Just because other schools are doing it doesn't make it right.

Mike says he can help my family.

Okay, he gave me $5 ,000, and we really need the money. So I'm sorry, Ms.

Simmons.

Hey, look here, David.

That money's going to cost you way more than it's worth.

Listen, man. Lil, you listen.

Now, David, I know you want to play, son.

But I taught you boys to play by the rules. The rules?

The rules ain't going to pay my mama's bill, David. Mind your business.

Now, look, we got a deal.

Now that he's verbally committed, it's quite possible that you have a chance at

getting that assistant coaching job.

Oh, so it's quite possible I might get the job. That's what he said, quite

possible. That must be one of them empty promises, right, Cor? Yes, empty.

Now, listen, David.

Now, I know you don't want to hear this.

But if you don't give him back his money, you suspended from the team.

Suspended? Suspended.

You can't win without me. Boy, I'm not winning with you. Sure not.

Oh. What I'm talking about. That's enough support, honey.

So what's it going to be, David?

Coach Mike, let's go.

I'm Coach Mike.

David.

Hey, sweetheart. Hey.

What you reading?

A book on relationships.

All right, see you later.

I have a question.

If I died, would you remarry?

Who yet?

At the funeral.

Well... What? The preacher's already there.

What do you think?

Well, that all depends.

Do you want to go with yellow, blue, or Harvard maroon?

How about plagiarism pink?

What?

Nothing.

Aren't you proud of your sister?

I couldn't be prouder if I had written it myself.

Why are you acting like this?

He's just a little jealous.

Why would I be jealous over your essay?

Well, enjoy wearing that now.

Because pretty soon, you'll be wearing a uniform at your new school.

What new school?

Time Forge All Girls Academy.

All girls?

Yes! Great plan, Will!

No, no, no, no.

Bad plan, Will?

You need to be able to focus.

All girls, all the time, class, 12 hours a day.

Ugly uniform. Oh, Connie, no!

I have a confession.

I didn't write that essay.

Joaquin did.

Send him to the all -girls school.

Yes! I can't lose!

Yes! You can!

You wrote it.

I mean, did you really think you could fool your teacher and us?

Yeah.

I mean, the Great Wall of China, Brianna. Really?

Last week you had trouble finding China in the cabinet.

I guess this means I'm not going to Tracy's party. Smart girl.

Yeah, but now you both get to write an essay on why you shouldn't be writing

other people's essays.

Hmm? Okay.

But when I'm done, can I still go to the all -girls school?

I can't believe David is risking his future taking money from Mike.

Yeah, well, unfortunately, a lot of young athletes come from struggling

families. Oh, they see this as their only way out. That's so true.

Oh, I guess you came here to turn in your equipment.

No, actually, I came to suit it for practice.

What?

Yeah, I prayed about it, and I talked to my folks, and they think I should wait,

too.

Oh, that's great, David.

Oh, trust me, son, you made the right decision. I think so, too, Coach.

I mean, anyways, my mom has a second job interview with a company that seems to

really like her. So if she gets it, they'll be paying more than all three of

jobs put together.

See how he works?

I mean, hey, besides, who needs that lousy $4 ,000?

Yeah, who... Whoa!

It was $5 ,000.

I told you, $5 ,000.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, D -Nice.

I've been looking for you. Look, we don't have a deal.

What? You heard him.

No deal.

Hold on. Get to practice, David. We had a verbal commitment.

Well, he just verbally uncommitted, sir.

You know what? There's other kids out there.

Yeah? And you better believe I'm reporting you to the State Athletic

Association. Frat.

Uh, frat, you can't prove nothing.

It's gonna be my word versus yours.

Man, what happened to the cat I pledged with?

He grew up and started making money. No, actually, he didn't grow up. But he's

still making money.

And I'm not worried. There's always gonna be some kid to do anything it

play ball.

Mm -hmm, but it's not gonna be that kid.

Tell him, baby.

I knew you weren't ready for the big time.

Yeah, but I am.

You still need a half back or a full back or maybe even a fat back.

Uh, Sasha's meatloaf.

Sasha's chicken.

I applied myself just like you and Will told me to.

Let me see it.

Do these heels go with my textbook?

You're right about what you know.

Guys, I really didn't think it was possible, but I dug down really deep.

number eight like out of ten like out of a hundred