Original subtitles

That'll get it going right there.

Right there.

Drop of this.

Hey, Mr. Brown, don't forget you have a 2 o 'clock appointment.

All right, uh, Kurt, pass me that cod liver oil right there.

Cod liver oil? What are you making? I'm making sure I don't have to go to that

hospital. Mr. Brown. Kurt, this right here is your Grandma Brown's secret

recipe. It's called the bionic tonic.

You suppose to fast before you check up. Fast?

I am. I'm going to drink it fast. This right here, it kills the cold.

It'll flush your system, and it kills most rodents.

Really? Yeah. Hey, Cora. Hey, Cora. Here's your baking pan.

Here you go. Here you go.

Get out of my way, Ewok.

Like I say, it kills most rodents. I don't know about wood rats.

Mr. Grant.

Hey, Cora.

Any chance you can whip up some lunch? I'm starving.

Baby, I left your lunch there on the stove.

Yeah, and I left it there, too.

Cora. I can cook. Tell him. Tell him I can cook. Of course you can cook. Yeah,

but it's this mess edible.

Can you edit?

Don't do that, Mr. Brown. Why don't you say, Kurt, if you take one drink of this

bionic tonic, you won't want to eat for three days.

Now, don't even try it. You're going to that doctor's appointment. I am. Oh, so

it's check -up time, huh, Brown?

Yep. Time to get them rusty pipes flushed.

Where everybody can survive off of rabies shots and licorice.

You better watch it before I strangle that tiny little space between your chin

and chest.

You better drink some of this bionic tonic so you can get rid of some of that

hair on your chest.

Drink a little bit of this and you get... This stuff is disgusting.

This tastes like Edna. Look.

Brown, if I wanted to get sick, I would have eaten that whole.

You better watch it or it'll be the last thing you eat.

I got to change my doctor's appointment. I'm going to call the doctor's office

at 555 -555 -555 -0505 -0505.

Hello? Yeah.

Doc, I need to reschedule my appointment.

Mm -hmm.

Yes, 8 a .m. is fine.

Oh, by the way, do y 'all do faceectomies?

Yes, I got a lady here. Ooh, you ain't going to believe her face.

Ooh, yes.

You'll do it?

Okay. 8 a .m. All right.

And they say they can see you and both of your chins at 8 .30 tomorrow. Oh,

really? You need to be declawed.

Honey, you haven't touched your food.

I don't think I like meatloaf anymore.

This isn't meatloaf. It's salmon casserole.

Oh, so that explains the bones and the fin.

My food is getting better, isn't it?

Yeah, your food is great.

I wouldn't have anything else.

Pizza?

You ordered pizza?

Is that best?

Yes, but I didn't order a pizza.

I'm taking the last of the dessert upstairs.

No, no, wait. I like the pecan pie. This is chocolate cupcake.

I am so fired.

Somebody's waiting on a double cheese cheeseburger pizza, but it's at the

house. Again.

Now, you can have your wife's chocolate muffins, and her muffins are probably

great.

What did you just say?

Your wife has great muffins?

No, no, no, no. Something about a double cheese cheeseburger pizza.

Oh. Well, you can have it.

Thanks.

Would you believe this is my 12th wrong house?

In one week?

Try one night.

Can I use your phone to call my manager?

For a fellow Marine, anything.

This.

I'm not a Marine.

Feels safer already.

Line's busy.

My dad was a Marine.

I'm just a kid that flunked out of college and started delivering pizzas.

Maybe if I tell him I was robbed.

Can you rob me?

No, no. Colonel Cleophas Jackson is a man of honor.

But I can give you some advice.

Okay.

First, get a GPS.

And second, join the Corps.

Really?

I've been thinking about that.

Yes, you'll get discipline, structure, and a little money in your pocket.

Yes, sir. The Marines made me the brave and courageous man I am today.

Colonel! Get up here!

Yes, dear. On the way.

It's time for you to go.

Oh, I told Cora I didn't want to come to this hospital.

Oh, this is like them big popsicle things.

I like to check my own stuff.

Say ah.

Okay. Say ah.

Okay. Ah.

I don't like that.

I never have.

Oh, what's this?

Why do they got it so low? They need to turn it up high.

This must be, oh, this that thing that Cora was telling me that they do on her

facial when she go to the salon.

They put them, she said, put them together and then they take all the skin

her face. Yeah.

to the hospital in time.

Look at you.

Give me five.

Yeah. Oh, you got a problem with me? What?

Let's break it down. Come on.

Come on, break it down.

Are you talking to me?

You talking to me? Get out of my face.

You talking to me? Not if I can help it. What the what?

You're like the gay male heart attack.

This is a good place for it. I hear they have doctors in this building.

Okay, who are you?

Dr. Muzmagovic Sukana Mahala Jofi.

But my friends call me Dr.

Muzmagovic Sukana Mahala Jofi.

Well, Dr.

Edwards, you know, he's real good.

A little too good, according to some of the female nurses.

Now, it says here that you need a checkup.

Pop up on my table and let's make some magic.

What?

Pop off on my table.

Okay, I'm hoping.

Now, do you have any pre -existing medical condition?

Yes. What are they?

Well, you're the doctor. You're supposed to be telling me. That's why I pay you

all the money. I pay, you tell.

Okay. How long have you been blind?

I ain't blind.

You telling me you wear these clothes on purpose?

It's called style.

Yes. Bad style is still style.

Your pulse is fine.

Let's take a look at your ears.

Okay. Okay, go ahead.

Mm -hmm. You see? Mm -hmm. What you see, Doc?

That wall needs painting.

Your ears are too big.

They're okay.

Oh, you think I got bigger or lighter? Possibly.

Pressure is okay. Let's take a look at your reflexes. Now, now, before you do

that, let me tell you this. I got cat -like reflexes. I'm something like a

Okay.

I started to scratch your eyes.

See, I told you.

Note to self, have patience.

Neutered.

Okay.

This is the fun part. The foreplay is over.

It's what I like to call less poop, dead prostate.

Oh, okay, I know what you're talking about.

Let me swallow, get all this milk or something.

There you go.

No,

it's not in there.

Oh, you're my chest? Well, get your thing and listen to my chest.

You don't want to listen to it? You can listen to my testa. You're getting

warmer.

My hip size? Turn it around, you'll be on fire.

Oh, now you're talking about... Bingo!

The devil is alive!

Now you drop them and we get acquainted.

And before you ask, this is the best part. Where are you going?

Cory and I are going to the mall. Want me to bring back some?

Yeah, my youth and a Hawaiian shirt.

I'll see what I can do.

See you later, Colonel.

Oh, and Colonel, your lunch is there in the fridge.

Thanks. I'll be sure to eat the... Pizza?

Don't say a word.

I'll handle you when I get back.

Bye, Colonel.

Save me some pizza.

All right, bye, Colonel.

Young man, you seriously need to consider another career choice.

I came by to thank you for the advice. I'm going to take you up on it.

You, sir, are a wise and generous man.

And, uh... I bought you a double cheese cheeseburger pizza.

They gave me the employee discount before I got fired.

Oh, so you are going to join the Marines like your father, huh?

My dad's going to be proud.

You know, I remember when I enlisted, kicking butt and taking names.

You ever lose a man?

Oh, no, no, no. You never leave a man behind.

Your father can tell you the same thing.

My father died in the Gulf War.

Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.

Him.

Right here on the end.

Private Daryl Phillips. Private Daryl Phillips.

You recognize the guy next to him?

That's... That's you.

Major Cleophas Jackson.

Two tours in Vietnam.

Promoted to colonel in 1983.

Retired in 1992.

Widower. One daughter, Karen.

And... The man who let my father die.

You have the wrong information, son.

Don't you ever call me son.

You're the reason I don't have a father.

And I want answers.

Answers to what? You haven't asked me any questions.

Don't play with me, old man.

M1911. Code 45, huh?

Same one you're using now.

Who's that?

Edna and her friend. They probably forgot something.

They don't have anything to do with this.

I get eight rounds.

Plenty for everybody.

So get rid of them.

Get rid of them. Now.

Brown, what are you doing here? Colonel, that doctor tried to go places that men

have never gone before. Brown, you have to get out of here.

I ain't going back there. Brown, if you stay here, you may experience a shooting

pain. Colonel, if I go back to that doctor, I'm going to experience a

pain. You know what? I done got hungry. Saving my hide done got me hungry. What

y 'all got to eat? Well, Edna cooked some killer tuna.

I mean, it's to die for.

I wouldn't eat Edna's cooking if they put a gun to my head. Exactly.

Brown, you need to go back to the doctor and get help because you're at death's

door.

You're the one twitching. What's wrong with you? That's the way they do when

they need that crack.

You're on that stuff, ain't you? You're itching and stuff.

Brown. You need to go get help.

Make sure everything is all clear.

Oh,

okay, Colonel. Thank you so much. I didn't know you cared that much.

I'm going to get help.

Good. So you're going to get help?

Yes, I'm going to go back to that doctor because I know I need help. And I got

to get it done.

I may as well.

Thank you, Colonel. You saved my life.

I wish I could say the same thing to you.

You know what?

You know what?

And you.

It's just rude for you to stand back here and knowing I'm here all this time.

You done delivered a pizza and you heard me say I'm hungry. That's rude.

That's what that is rude.

I'm going to just take the whole thing. Colonel, I'm going to eat it all the

way. That's rude. That's what's wrong with these children now. They rude.

I see.

Just shoot me.

I wasn't talking to you.

Just a prostate.

I knew you'd be back.

How do you know?

Men are all the same.

At first they play hard to get, and then they realize they can't live without

me.

Okay, okay, now, look.

Why don't you grab... Let's grab a seat, pull up, and we just talk this out and

get to know each other better. Let's just get to know each other. I am not

interested in your mind.

I'm interested in your body.

Now let's get this party started.

Okay, wait, wait, Doc, wait.

What? Is this gonna hurt?

I promise you, I won't feel a thing.

Okay? Stand up and face the wall.

Okay.

Wait, wait, hold on, Doc. Just give me a minute. Now, I'm not ready for this.

Why? Do you need a drink?

Now, you're not going to try to lure me in with no alcohol. I don't drink, no.

Now would be a good time to start.

Okay, Doc.

Okay.

Okay, wait a minute.

Relax. Breathe normally.

Now exhale.

Exhale, exhale. Breathe, Shamu, breathe.

This will help.

Works every time.

You know, you're nothing like your father.

Private Daryl Phillips. Keep my father's name out of your mouth. Well, you want

answers. You don't know everything about him. I don't know anything about my

father.

I don't know if his speeches would have kept me out of trouble.

I don't know what his laugh sounded like. He wasn't there.

This is what I know.

He was a soldier.

And he died on your watch. No, your father died and saved the lives of every

in that picture. That's a bunch of bull. I know because I was there.

But somehow, the man with all the stripes on his sleeve managed to come

alive. I gave the command for his platoon to board the choppers.

And he was the last one on and got killed. No. I've heard it before. No,

father jumped out.

When he saw an RPG aimed at us, I should have sent a recon unit to sweep the

area.

But... What happened?

He took out the RPG before... Before taking on sniper fire.

And I never forgave myself.

Why didn't you make him stay on the... Your father was strong -willed, just

you.

Most men enlist to fight and protect this country.

But your father had a different agenda.

What the hell is that supposed to mean?

Well, he always said the only reason I'm here is so I can be a better man than

my father.

So my son can be a better man than me.

He said that?

Twice a day and three times on Sunday.

Good Lord, that man could talk.

Oh, my.

Still having your little pizza party, yeah?

Uh, Edna, this is Daryl Phillips' son.

McCall? Yes.

You... you know about my father? Do I?

Every chance the colonel gets, he tells that story.

Cora, this young man's father saved the colonel's life.

Really? And what is your name?

Daryl Phillips, Jr.

Oh, Daryl Phillips, Jr., son of a hero.

Why don't you have dinner with her?

No, no, no.

It's a pleasure to meet you.

Excuse me.

Nice to meet you, son.

I guess there's something you've got to do.

I'm afraid so, son.

Surrender your weapon.

His ammo's old.

It would have jammed or blown up in your face.

How did you know?

You'll learn when you enlist.

Yes, sir.

What's that?

Sir, yes, sir. Colonel, sir.

All right.

You're dismissed.

I got the nerve to take the exam now.

Give me the shot. Come on. What shot?

Procedure is over.

What?

Doc, look me in the eye. Look me dead in the eye. And just tell me, am I going

to die?

Absolutely.

How long I got? How long Cora got her daddy for?

Another 30 years.

You're fine.

But listen.

Prostate cancer is the number two killer of black men in America.

Wow. What's number one?

Black women.

No, I can't.

It's heart disease.

Take care of yourself.

Thank you, Dr.

Jofla.

Hey,

it wasn't as bad as you thought. No, no, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I still

feel a little, you know, a little dirty, but it's okay. High five, Dr.

No, I don't know where your hands been.

Thank you very much.

Doc, what you do with my clothes?

You trying to wear my stuff.

I kidding, I kidding.

Hi, I'm David Mann.

Did you know that prostate cancer is the most commonly diagnosed cancer among

men in America?

Early detection can increase your chance of survival.

The Center for Disease Control and Prevention recommends that all men get

annually. African American men and other men who have a family history of the

disease should be tested as early as 40.

All other men should be tested annually beginning at age 50.

Prostate cancer is no joke, so get tested. Your life depends on it.