Original subtitles

Ooh, Mr. Brown got too much fruit in his loom.

Oh! Kara!

Kara!

Kara!

Kara! Kara!

Kara! Kara! Kara! Kara! Kara! Kara! Kara! Kara! Kara! Kara! Kara! Kara!

Kara! Kara! Kara! Kara! Kara!

Kara!

I feel like I want you to sing Gone But Not Forgotten.

Come on in here. Come on.

Sasha, quit calling nurse.

I am a nurse. Now give me an ugly nurse.

At least they had to study to get their license. Oh, just tell them what hurts,

Mr. Brown.

Sasha, you think I'm going to lose my hand? Mr.

Brown. You think I'm going to lose it? Mr. Brown. You just let me go.

Sasha, you can tell me. Am I going to lose it?

Give me something to bite down on.

Well, get it out. I'm a faint.

She already got it.

Well, Sasha, you are a good nurse.

You saved my life. Thank you.

What happened?

I heard a woman scream, and I want to date her.

What? That woman was Mr. Brown.

Yes. Oh, forget all y 'all. It was an honest mistake.

We got a splinter. I almost died.

A splinter?

Is that all?

Yes. Man, I got bigger problems than this.

I told you to change Barbara so he'd get rid of that Eddie Monster. I knew he

was going to jack your edge up up.

So what's wrong?

What's the matter?

It's just school stuff, you know?

I have a lot on my mind. There's a lot of pressure on me.

Okay, calm it down, Derek.

Okay, I understand. College can be a little stressful.

Stressful? How is it stressful for him? He sleep till noon.

He come over here and eat all our food. And he try to date any girl on two legs.

Wait a minute. I think I seen you with a girl with one leg.

Didn't they call her Eileen?

What can we do to help, Derek?

I need $2 ,500.

What?

What? Girl, what?

Is there anything else we can do for you? Maybe get you a sandwich or

Some water?

Yes.

Derek, why do you need $2 ,500?

Because I maxed out my campus credit line. If I don't pay it, I'm going to

my scholarship.

Well, Derek, you need to do what any responsible person would do. Quit

Or either do like my dear did.

She did something a little strange.

For some change.

Now, even this calculator says I'm broke.

I don't know what I'm going to do.

All this money, I'm going to have to leave school.

I got it.

Why don't you take the money from your savings account?

That is a good idea.

Or I can use my 401K.

Or the bank that I own to get some TARP money.

Derek, how did you spend $2 ,500?

Well, mostly in school supplies.

$300 worth of DVDs? Oh, that was in lieu of cable.

40 bags of pork rinds?

Oh, yeah, that's zero trans fat. I don't do carbs.

Three cheerleader uniforms?

What?

There's supposed to be two.

What?

Somebody gonna hear about this.

Don't ask, don't tell, Derek.

Hey, guys.

Hey.

Sasha, can I have a friend over?

Oh, of course you can.

Does he need a ride?

Nah, Tiffany lives down the street.

Oh, Tiffany.

I remember my first girlfriend.

Yeah, she was nice and limber.

She's not my girlfriend.

She's my friend that's a girl.

Right.

All right, well, as long as she gets permission from her parents, it's okay

me. Okay. Okay.

Oh, wow.

Little man's got a girlfriend.

Yeah. What can I say?

Thanks for the sandwich, Ms. Cora.

If you guys need me, I'll be on 85 on the on -ramp.

Oh, by the way, you guys wouldn't happen to have a piece of cardboard and a bag

of oranges, would you?

Didn't you ask your parents for money? Oh, no, no, no. When I got into college,

my dad and I had a long talk about money.

And what did he say?

He said, Derek, you ain't getting any.

That means you need a job. Right.

A job?

Yes. I'm a college student. I'm not qualified to do anything.

I'm sure you can find an odd job around the neighborhood.

People always need a good handyman.

Right.

be watching you today.

Okay. My mom said there had to be a grown -up here to supervise.

Well, what do I look like?

My mom said there had to be a grown -up here to supervise.

Well, excuse me. I'm gonna go get me some animal crackers and chocolate milk.

like to see them float. You like chocolate milk? Yeah. I'll be back

Can I get you a drink?

Is it too cold? They allow me to eject the heater.

back downstairs she's gonna have an excuse to leave no way i mean look at

hair hi i'm brianna i'm tiffany i have to go

but you just got here uh my mom just called me i have to go you want

me to walk you home

Nervous when I'm around her.

Look, you just gotta learn how to play it cool.

Like Will?

Definitely.

Not like Will.

More like a Jay -Z character. He's cool.

You think it'll work?

Would I steer you wrong?

shower this morning the water was ice cold now wait a minute how did you go to

church without taking a bath in hot water the lord says come as you are you

your stinking behind out of the church and then bathed y 'all you put perfume

too deep cory i couldn't go to church smelling like this my ab was stinking

you're what

and it should be treated as sex.

Now, you can't just do that, Carl.

I'm trying to... I'll get that later.

Mr. Brown, he's been working really hard around here. He fixed the refrigerator.

He replaced the phone.

A whole bunch of stuff around here. Whatever, Carl. You done made me mad

Tell him he need to fix that hot water heater. It's still broke.

Well, I'll talk to him. You talk to him, because I don't...

talk to him. No, I'm going to talk to him myself.

I'm going to kill that boy. I'm going to kill him.

He done tore up everything in my house.

Good morning, Mr. Brown.

Anything else need fixing?

Yes. Your face when I get through beating it.

Whoa, what did I do?

You broke my refrigerator and you broke my phone.

Well, don't worry. I'll fix it. What fix it? Well, give him a chance, Mr. Brown.

Give him a chance to do what? Tap the rest of my house?

This boy can't fix nothing.

Look at what this boy's trying to put.

You're a liar. You ain't should have said it.

I'm doing it.

Mr. Brown, stop. Mr. Brown, stop it.

Yes. Go over there.

What are you doing?

Derek, I'm sorry. Can you just give us a moment, please?

Yeah, sure.

I'll be outside putting the garage door back on.

I'll call you when I'm finished.

What is the garage door doing out?

Corbin, you need to fire that boy.

you ever see me think about anything before i do it i said i think about it

need to think about either it's him or is it me do you want him or do you want

me

Is that short for Rockhead?

That's funny, shorty.

So, what are we gonna do? We gonna chill.

Oh, hey, Brianna, Tiffany, and what the what?

Uh, what it do, Vanilla Flavor?

What up, Pimpin'? Mr. Brown, please say something to Joaquin. I don't know what

to say. You know what?

A little gold front and a jerry curl and...

Shoot, the ladies won't be able to resist you.

Hey, Tiffany, you better watch out. You ain't going to know what hit you.

Look at you, looking like you're looking. You got to learn how to walk if

going to be cold.

Walk like that.

You look like you're walking on those little bouncy machines.

Why did I ask him?

Don't hate the player.

Hate the game.

Yeah, come on, Tiffany.

moment, J -Rock? Excuse us, Tiffany.

Come on.

You better get up off me, girl.

What are you doing?

Chicks dig cool guys, like T -I and L -L.

You're more like B -O.

You need to stop while you're ahead, Joaquin.

Wait.

Yesterday you told me to be cool, and now you're telling me not to?

I mean, what do you want from me, woman?

Look, 20 Cent.

impress Tiffany by acting like this.

She's gonna know you're a poser.

A poser? That's a great idea.

How about this one? This one's like... A

thinker.

Whatever, Dr.

Dreffle. You are on your own.

See? Smiley face.

Brandy face.

This was brought to you by the letter U.

And this is a noodle you put hot sauce... You can eat them when you get

college.

Mr. Brown, I'm not a friend of hers.

I'm out of here.

Oh, you're so unappreciative. I made you all this good stuff and you don't

appreciate nothing.

Slow your roll, little mama. Where are you going?

I'm going home, J -Rock.

And if you see Joaquin, tell him I'm going to go find someone nice to play

That's what a woman will do to you.

Women. Sisters.

keeping it real.

Yeah, so am I, man.

You don't know nothing about keeping nothing real.

Cut an arrow tail somewhere instead of that. Hey, Pocahontas. See you,

Tough luck, Ice Chip.

Maybe now you can stop acting like an idiot.

I don't get it. She didn't like me when I was cool or when I was nice.

Well, maybe it's because you're neither of those things.

You should just be your normal weird self.

It works for you.

stuff you're working with. You ain't no dairy.

Stop lying.

What are you doing?

Uh, baking.

How you baking something that ain't no food in the house to cook?

Well, I need to go to the grocery store, but I'm out of money.

Now, wait a minute. You mean to tell me we out of groceries and we ain't got no

money?

Somebody have been lying all along, y 'all trying to steal my fortune, ain't

you? You're not my child.

Are you serious, Mr. Brown? I am.

Because I know what you're going to tell me anyway.

You're the one that's been fixing everything around here.

What gave me away?

Because everything's been getting fixed and it wasn't by me.

Why don't you say something?

Because everything's been getting fixed and it wasn't by me.

Oh, Mr.

Brown, I'm so exhausted.

Why you didn't fire that boy like I told you to?

couldn't he needed my help and i just couldn't turn one of god's children away

derrick ain't one of god's children derrick is a walking garbage disposer

is it hey derrick mr brown he's in the dining room putting in new windows well

what's wrong with the ovens derrick fixed them

Hi, Mr. Brown. How are you? I'm hungry. That's how I are.

Where's that money and food Cora been giving you?

Oh, the money she gave me is in my pocket.

And the food she gave me is in my stomach.

Well, you're going to throw it up today because I'm hungry. I'm going to give

you a hammock. Mr. Brown, stop it. Stop it. Stop it. He earned that money, Mr.

Brown. Now, what he earned is a butt kicking.

No, no. Listen, Ms. Cora gave me that money out of the kindness of her heart.

Yes. Well, I want it back out of the meanness of mine.

Y 'all let her do what she wants to do?

What? Fine.

Fine. Fine. See what happens.

Derek, I'm sorry.

Please don't fire me.

I'm sorry, Derek. I've done everything that I could do. I have. I fixed

everything you've broken.

Look, I don't want the money back, but you're fired. No!

F -I -R -A dirt.

Fire dirt.

Dirt. Okay.

I understand.

But I gotta make the money somehow.

Aren't you a janitor, Mr. Brown? Get that straight. I'm the head janitor,

one janitor, first one.

Yes, what we do is we mop floors and take out trash and all kinds of things

that. That's what we do, head janitors.

Wow. So what's the assistant janitor do?

Well, you might want to get the job first before you find out what they do

What they do do do.

I think I better hold out for a management position.

No, I think you better get you a job and get some responsibility.

That's right. Mr. Brown is right, Derek. You got to do better.

Hmm. Well, I got to pay off this debt so I don't lose my scholarship.

Mm -hmm.

Okay, I'll apply for the job.

Well, good, good, good. Well, I'll help you budget your money.

Okay. All right.

Why don't we put him on the Billy Preston budget?

What's that?

Nothing from nothing leaves nothing.

Hey, Derek, did you fix the banister?

Yeah, it's as good as new.

All right.

Ow!

Who broke the banister?

What is going on in here?

So the banister just gave way?

Kind of felt like I was falling in slow motion.

Well, did anything break your...

happen to j -rock j -rock's gone i like being joaquin now oh baby you know what

i like you just the way you are too you know it's it's important that you you

know you need some help no no sweetie i'm fine i'll be just fine okay we're

gonna go to the corner and get some ice cream do you want something oh you know

what that would be great brie okay thanks guys bye bye