Original subtitles

Corrie, they're running the other one back -to -back just like they did the

other one. I like this.

Get the door, Corrie.

You closer.

Oh, look at this. Ah, look at this. He's got a gun.

Corrie, you closer now. You get the door.

When you think about that, when you're old and alone in a nursing home getting

sponge bag by a lady named Earl.

That's me, Corrie. You're going to leave me by myself.

Hey. Hey, Corrie.

Hey, Corrie. Rob.

Hey, Earl.

Oh, hey, Colonel, are you living?

Oh, no, the young folks called it swagger.

The doctor called it a bruised hip.

Hey, did you go to Edna's vet and get it checked out? No, fat in the box.

This fool went roller skating and fell down.

This meat was almost paid for.

Colonel been pulling all kinds of crazy stunts since Nate died.

You lost another friend?

Boy, they dropping like flies.

You know what? I'm going to have to stay away from you.

I'll fool around and be next.

The last time I saw Nate, he was making a bucket list.

Oh, what's a bucket list?

Well, it's a list of things you want to do before you die.

Oh. He should have put stay alive on the top of his.

Now the colonel is making all kinds of stupid lists for all the stupid things

always wanted to do.

Stupid.

Colonel, is that where you escaped?

Yeah, I've always wanted to roll bounce once in a lifetime.

Yeah, you did roll and bounce.

Oh, what's next? A jerry curl and parachute bounce?

Hey, you know I've always wanted a jerry curl.

Add that to the list.

Well, you might want to add grow hair before that.

That's ridiculous.

Tell him, Brown.

Tell him. Well, I wanted a curl myself.

Oh, Lord. So what stopped you?

I went bald in the third grade.

I was the only kid that had a bottle of hair growth tonic and an apple in my

lunchbox. Hey, it's not too late, Brown. Join me. From now on, let's live each

day like it's our last.

If I had to wake up next to Edna, I'd wish every day was my last. You're Mr.

Brown.

about what? You don't notice nothing different?

New old shirt?

Curly, guess again.

New cologne, because your last one smelled like hot garbage.

That was French. That show how much you know. It was hot garbage.

My new do?

Well, it's a don't. You're just jealous because your hair ain't silky and curly

and flammable.

You look ridiculous.

What are you doing?

I told you, me and the Colonel are going to start a bucket list.

And this is what you came up with? A jerry curl?

Yes, Paula.

I never had one before.

Well, you never had a daughter with a brand new car either.

How about you start with that?

Well, if my daughter got her credit score up, then I could have a daughter

a brand new car. How about that?

Paula, you know what I always wanted to do?

Right here.

What? I always wanted to eat an egg raw, just swallow, like on that movie,

Rocky. Really?

Yeah, I just always wanted to do it. You know, he was a fighter.

Well, the only thing you fighting is O .H.

I think I can do it.

I think I can do it. You think I can do it?

God, you can do it. You got it, you got it. You ready? No, you ready?

You were supposed to lock the door. You were supposed to lock the door.

Did you saw anything?

Well, I hope not.

I'm in the middle of doing that little thing that you do, you know?

Baby, look.

All we can do is act natural.

Acting natural is what got us into this mess.

Hey, Joaquin.

Hey, buddy.

Hey.

Sorry I scared you guys.

So are we.

He startled her. What are you doing up?

Well, I couldn't sleep, so I went to ask you if I could have a glass of milk.

Is that all?

Could I have a cookie?

Baby, you can have a whole box of cookies, okay?

Get you some.

Whole box?

Yeah. I'll get sick.

Jeez, you guys are so irresponsible.

Oh, that was close.

You know what?

Maybe it's time we had the talk with Joaquin. The talk?

Yeah. Oh, wow.

I remember the first time I walked in on my mother.

Were you traumatized?

No, just kind of amazed that the chandelier could hold her.

We need to try that.

Look, look, look at your daddy.

What you think, Corrie? Look what you think.

You look like Breezerada.

Corrie, don't be disrespectful to your daddy.

You need not to be disrespectful to yourself.

Presenting Silly Vanilli.

Smokin'. Yeah.

Y 'all act like y 'all been smokin'. Hey, you don't look too bad yourself,

Brown. Yeah, you know. Yeah.

Y 'all look like fools. That's what you look like. Well, I mean, so did

everybody with a curl.

Now it's our turn.

It's our rite of passage. Kind of like when you layin' your eggs on the way

to the swamp.

Colonel, give me some juice. Hit me one time. One time.

Hit me two times. Two times.

Hey, make it funky. Hit me three times. Three times.

What you hit me for? I'm trying to knock some sense into you.

Whatever you do, don't let him hit down.

The colonel got grease all over our night's furniture.

You sure that wasn't that rabbit you was gnawing on last night?

Hey, that's okay, bro. Hey, we're working our way down the list.

Oh, there's more?

Yes, we still got a...

booze and march with the penguins. Swim with the sharks.

Oh, you keep that up. You gonna be sleeping with the fishes.

Brown, did you get the motorcycle?

Yeah, I rented it. It's out back.

All right.

Motorcycle? Yeah, that's on the list, too. We want to ride a motorcycle and

Eartha Kitt.

Eartha Kitt?

Eartha Kitt is dead.

Shut up.

We better take that off the list. No, don't take it off. Just put a laugh.

Oh, this is a beauty, Brown.

Yep, just like in the movie. Yeah.

Look at that, Colonel.

Oh, that baby's sturdy.

Hey, baby, you gonna wish us luck?

No. I just want to know if your insurance policy is paid up.

Start up. Start up.

Listen to me, Mr. Brown.

he's sipping through a curly straw would you rather i got him a beer

thanks could

i get a cookie he wants a cookie will

you're the one who's not mature enough for this conversation.

What conversation?

Uh, conversation about the birds and the bees, Joaquin.

Oh, I'm sorry. This gets me every time.

Gets him every time.

Joaquin, we need to talk.

Go on, baby.

Joaquin, when a man and a woman really care about each other, there

are many ways that they can show it.

Like a kiss?

Like a kiss?

Like a kiss.

Exactly. Oh, I see Brianna kissing all the time. You what? You what?

Yeah, she practices on her pillow all the time.

However, when a grown woman and a grown man who are

married, when they really, really like each other,

motorcycles okay core we'll be right there look i don't know but they're at

hospital so come on uh all right look we gotta go uh your sister's

upstairs go get brianna we'll be right back

I can't believe you two would do something so irresponsible.

And where'd you get these cute little outfits?

You look like Dumb and Dumber.

More like Rick James and Little Richard after a fight. And nobody wants one.

That's a good one. That's a good one.

That's all right. Just kick a man while he's down. Just kick him.

I don't care if you're up or down. I just want to kick you.

Well, look, good thing is you two are going to be just fine.

Could you two please take it easy from now on?

Well, look, Sasha and I are going to go and have our little talk with Joaquin.

You first.

You first. You first.

Will y 'all just go up and talk to the boy?

Anyway, Colonel, this is your fault.

Yes, I think you dropped activate on the tie.

My fault? This little bell?

That side cocking handled the weight of a man twice my size. Yeah.

If the weight is spreaded evenly, you're built like a ball, Brown.

You shouldn't talk about my shortcomings. You know I got a thyroid

Oh, how many thyroids did you eat?

Ain't it time for the colonel to saddle you up and ride you home?

Well, at least we didn't get a ticket.

Well, the cops say ain't no crime in being stupid.

If there was, you'd have been put down years ago.

Seriously, you two could have hurt yourselves.

I know, Cora. I thought I was going to see the Lord.

But he told me it wasn't my turn.

And, Cora, by the way, I talked to the Lord, and he said, quit asking him for a

husband. It's too late.

Oh, Edna, your name come up, too. I asked the Lord, I said, you know, Edna,

said, never heard of her.

I told him, don't worry about it.

She's going the other direction, to the lower room.

Well, Edna, y 'all can stop all that bucket list nonsense.

Stop? Hey, we're at the time of our life.

Yeah, I've never gone so fast in all my life. My hair was just blowing in the

wind. Because it was in your hand at the time.

It was still blowing, though.

Idiots need to stop all this death wish talk.

You know what? If I had to wake up next to you every morning looking you in your

face, I would wish somebody to death me, too.

All right, that's enough. I'm not going to sit here.

and watch you kill yourself with this little butterball.

You leaving, Edna? That's right. That's the first thing on my list. Get rid of

Edna. Check.

Oh, no, no. That's enough, Brown.

Edna, don't go.

Yeah, slow your rolls, dude.

Come here, baby.

My whole life, I've been answering people and fulfilling responsibilities.

This is the first time that I've been able to do what I want and waking up

to you.

It's what I want. It's what I like.

Oh, Colonel, that's so disgusting.

He kissed that horse right in the mouth, Corey. Look,

maybe the Colonel has a point.

Miss Edna, if a man hadn't fulfilled his lifelong dream, you don't want to be

the one who's stood in the way, do you?

I guess you have a point.

Come on, baby, let's go home.

Wait, wait, but what's next on the list?

Skydiving!

Yes!

Skydiving? Oh,

you out of your colorblind mind, you are not going skydiving, Mr. Brown. Okay,

Kirby, you're not from the city and trying to tell me what I can do. All I

to do is stay black and die.

Well, that's exactly what you're going to be doing if you go skydiving. And you

are not going skydiving. Well, that's my dream.

Well, you better wake up. You shut up!

Well, we'll have parachutes, and I've already talked to an instructor.

Yeah, and he told me we can keep the goggles.

And put it inside both y 'all's caskets.

We ran with the bulls.

Is this gonna take long?

No. Sweetheart, Will's gonna start talking any minute now.

Right, Will?

I'm thinking.

Am I in trouble? Because whatever you thought I did, it wasn't me.

It was Brianna.

No, sweetheart, you are not in trouble.

Uh, Joaquin, you know you weren't always here, right?

Well, you gotta bring up foster care, man.

It's not a threat. Sorry. That's not really what I meant to say.

Okay.

Everybody in the world is born.

Born.

You know what I'm saying?

I think Brianna was hatched.

Are you funny?

Continue,

Will.

You know what?

I'm just going to get right to it. Do you know where babies come from?

Is she serious?

I mean, what kind of doctor are you?

How do ladies' stomachs? Duh.

So do you know how they get there?

Yeah, how they get in the stomach. In the stomach?

Okay, I done heard enough. I've been sitting there listening to y 'all

trying to tell this baby about the birds and the bees.

It's a mess.

I suppose that you could do better? Yes, I can and I will. Sit down, nurse.

Walk on, come here.

Do you know where babies come from?

No. Do you want to know where babies come from?

Not really.

Okay, good. Go play.

Walk on.

When you're ready, will you talk to your people?

Okay. All right.

There we go.

Mr. Brown, what was that?

What you mean, what was that? That was me telling him. He don't want to know.

I had... Like pie charts and graphs and stuff. You know what I'm saying?

We were ready.

That boy wasn't ready to hear that, and y 'all wasn't ready to tell him.

When he ready, he'll let y 'all know.

And by the way, if you keep your door locked, you won't have to deal with this

mess. Y 'all doing all the, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh,

uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh,

uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh,

uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh,

uh.

for the big day?

Who are you?

Oh, name's Mel.

We fly guys.

I don't know if I like that.

Well, Brown, this is the skydiving instructor I invited to Moulton, so you

feel more comfortable with our dive.

Mel, this is my friend Leroy Brown.

Oh, it's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Brown.

Yes, it's a pleasure. Are we going to dive?

That all depends, bro.

Depends. Depends?

You mean tell me we're going to use that for the dive?

No, bro, that's just some skydiving humor.

Well, it ain't funny.

Well, I also brought by some paperwork for you guys to fill out.

Oh, what's all that? What the?

Oh, you know, they're just some reforms relieving us of any liabilities in case

of, you know, accident, injury.

Or even untimely death.

When is death timely?

Well, fortunately, we've only had one fatality. Okay, now, wait, wait, wait.

What's fortunate about a fatality?

I think it's like an old dude. Oh, like you guys.

Maybe you know him. Named with Nate Tompkins.

Nate Tompkins? Wasn't that your friend?

Well, that's how I found out about him. Sky Diamond was on Nate's list.

Yeah, um, Nate didn't make it, bros.

Um... Yeah, I think the one, two, three pull was just a little too much for that

little dude.

What? He couldn't count to three? Well, Lake stuttered. Oh, yeah.

Yeah,

yeah. He didn't make a... No, he didn't. Listen, bro, I think I just found out

what you can take off our list.

Oh, yeah, okay.

Well, you do know that there are no refunds, right, bro?

I think I just found something to replace that on the list.

What's that?

Be down to dive, instructor.