Original subtitles

They just got that car. I ain't seen that car in this neighborhood.

I know that ain't their car.

And that ain't her husband.

What are you doing?

Cora, I didn't know you had facial hair.

You gonna have to start shaving like your mama.

Mr. Brown, what are you doing out here?

Oh, nothing. I'm not doing nothing. Are you snooping on the new neighbors, Mr.

Brown? No. You need to mind your own business. Come on in this house. This is

business. It can be some vicious kidnappers out there to come take me.

Take you where? Clothes shopping?

Don't be like that, Cora.

Do you want your daddy's face to be on the front of a chocolate milk carton?

I should be so lucky.

You are lucky. You lucky to have a daddy like me to protect you.

I'm telling you, I can pick out a robber from a thousand patients.

Well, it's too bad you can't pick out a matching shirt and pants.

You talking about this match?

Look. Lot of colors? Lot of colors. Bam.

Hey, everybody.

Oh, that's a lot of colors.

I told you.

Matching, don't it?

So what's for breakfast?

A warm bowl of Derek go -to -heck -home. Please.

I'd rather have eggs.

Good morning, Miss Cora. Good morning, sweetie. How are you? Ooh, look, look.

They got a flat -screen TV. You know what? This is suspicious.

This is real suspicious.

Everybody got a flash screen TV, but y 'all... I'm not trying to keep up with

the Jetsons.

You ain't keeping up with the Flintstones.

What is that?

Look, what?

What is that?

Let me see, let me see, let me see.

Hold on, you heard... Derek, you about to choke. You heard my neck. You heard

neck. What neck?

That was good, boy. You were rolling, baby.

That's a clothes steamer.

Never heard of it.

Of course you haven't.

Polyester doesn't wrinkle.

That's a good one for you. That's good.

You don't need no soup made out of her. Let that girl go.

I hope that ain't... I hope that ain't Derek.

You want some food?

I'm so sorry.

I'm Officer Roberts, and this is Officer Whitney.

Oh, y 'all popo.

I prefer undercover.

Whatever you do on your time off is your business.

Can we come inside?

You sure you don't need a research warranty?

We would only need a search warrant if we wanted to search your house.

Look, Christy Love got a nasty attitude.

Come on in.

You ain't got to shake your neck and do all that.

Sir, have you noticed anything strange about your new neighbors?

Uh, yes. Oh, you got to see him. Down the street, the colonel lived with a

moose.

Yeah, it's a new reality show. I think it's called Animal Love.

Would you like a sandwich?

No. You sure?

We believe your new neighbors are involved in subversive activity.

Shut up!

being in a submarine and ain't even no water in atlanta we think they're

breaking the law and we need to use your house for a stakeout that's just oh

look it's done wonder we can't get nothing done around here we got people

there breaking the law and y 'all want to come over here and do a cookout when

did y 'all trade in donuts for ribs stakeout is when we hide in your house

gather evidence against a suspect stake out

Detective work?

Absolutely. That doesn't make you nervous, now does it? Oh, no. I could be

private detective. Yes, I'm something like one anyway.

You mind if I get me one of them shoe phones? Just give me a size six.

Are you kidding me?

We don't have shoe phones, but I can give you these.

Wait a minute.

Yes, we don't want anyone getting hurt.

Okay, I keep it down. I keep it down. I don't want everybody to know I'm a

secret Asian.

I do, like, Kung Fu, Kung Pao Chicken, and I solve crimes.

Well, congratulations.

Thank you. Welcome to the team. Thank you.

Let's get something straight before I get started.

I got to give you my rules.

Okay, first of all, I don't report to nobody.

I get off at 2 o 'clock, and I... I need a throw -down weapon with the Syrian

number scraped out the side of it.

I need a full DVD set of T .J. Hooker.

You can never do too much research.

And, uh... Who loves you, baby?

And in here is the reception area. And this is where we do our... Renee?

Renee, I'm busy.

You meditating?

No.

Medicating.

Oh, yeah.

And the red pill just kicked in. Oh, yeah.

Oh, okay.

How may I help you?

Renee, I need you to run these files over to cardiology. Oh, right away.

Ooh. Oh, wow.

I forgot that baby was 100 milligrams.

Okay. Oh, all right. Renee, would you hurry?

Cardiology is waiting.

Do you want me to take them?

renegade she can't make you work there are child labor laws to protect you i

know because i have a case pending my son it never um anyway what are you

here brianna is helping out because it's role model day she came over here to

shadow me and see what i do because i am her role model okay so there was

will the murderer

This murderer had... Yes, she made the right choice.

That was an accident, right?

Yeah, no. Around here, we call him Kill Will.

Sasha Renee is funny.

She's not lazy like you said.

Lazy?

Okay, you know what?

I'm going to go and take a nap in 306, and when I wake up, I'm going to be so

offended. Renee, there is no time for a nap.

Okay, I need you to take these files to cardiology.

Wait for them to review and then bring them back.

Adopt it. You want to go with me?

Me? Sure.

No.

I mean, she can't.

Rihanna, baby, aren't you supposed to be hanging with me today?

I'm your role model, remember?

I'll be right back.

Yeah, role model.

We're going to see if we can roll up on some hot medics on our way to

cardiology. All right.

She's 16, Renee.

We'll stop by Pediatrics then. Come on.

What the sweet

Georgia brand are you wearing?

Carter, this is my new look.

Yeah, like that guy from The Matrix with his legs chopped off.

Why are you dressed like that?

Kurt, I can't tell you.

I cannot divulge my secret.

But I will tell you this much.

It's a secret.

That's all I can tell you about this right now. You'll know by and by.

Where y 'all going?

To the neighbors to give them this pie to welcome them to the neighborhood. No,

Carver, you can't go over there.

Why not?

Because they don't like pie.

How do you know?

You met them?

Yes. Carver, I went over there the other day. I said, hi, I'm Mr. Brown. And she

said, hi.

And she said like this, we hate pie.

Mr. Brown, stop.

No, Cobra, I'm telling you, you cannot go over there. Why?

Because you can't go over there.

Why did you do that to my pie?

Cobra, it's my suit. It's got my arms.

Would you stop it? Why are you tripping?

I'm not tripping. You know what? You remember the other day how I was telling

'all it was something suspicious about them?

Yes, I'm telling y 'all. We're going to tell you. It's suspicious, Mr. Brown.

Well, it's suspicious or whatever. There's something going on over there.

we're going to show y 'all that I was right. Who is we?

Shh, shh. Be quiet. Cora, tip down. Tip, tip, tip, tip.

Good. Here they are. Come on in.

Cora dropped her pie.

Who was this people? Wait, you just can't walk all up in our house like

Mr. Brown will explain to you after we leave.

She talking code. She talking 1099 -WT -AW9 -1049.

And a 699.

Yes, that's code talk. Y 'all don't understand that kind of stuff. Tax

Don't make me backhand you with the strong arm of the law. Back up.

Oh, suitcases. That's great. That's a good idea.

Is this where you keep the secret stuff?

Like your laser inkjet printer pen?

Oh, and your back spray? That's where you keep your back spray to knock people

out? Underconscious?

Yeah.

and my invisible jet is parked outside.

You got one of them too, like, like old girl on the... Oh,

yeah, y 'all's look better than hers. You can't even see y 'all's.

Somebody give him the red pill.

And what are those suitcases for?

Oh, this is where we'll put the valuables.

Oh, what valuables?

The ones we're taking from you.

that kitchen is junk.

Junk. Not that I eat junk.

I'll tell you what, you better not come in here cussing. You ain't gonna rob me,

Dora the Explorer, and then you gonna try to cuss me out?

I done told Cora, Cora, buy good, clean, wholesome food.

You need to buy more fruit and more refuge.

I said it the other day, that's why you ain't regular.

What you buying in the garage?

A box of Charlie Pryde tapes, 24 pairs of polyester pants.

cheeky, and an autographed picture of Rodney Allen Rippey.

I tell y 'all, they're not messing with my Rodney Allen Rippey stuff.

Y 'all better don't touch my Rodney Allen Rippey.

Rodney Allen Rippey ain't no jerk I had you to know. He's an icon.

Just shoot me.

Chief, look, there's got to be something of value in this place.

You better not tell my...

You got a plan?

I bet you we thinking the same thing. Let's see if we think it. Does yours

involve hot glue, duct tape, and a boomerang?

What's your plan, Derek? What's the plan?

She might be tough on the outside, but inside she's all woman.

Yeah, that's true.

Watch and learn. Okay, I'm learning.

Officer Roberts, get over here, girl.

You talking to me? Yeah, I sure am.

Get over here front and center.

Heaven must have lost an angel because you down here with me.

That's right.

You psycho!

I could have told you that.

Excuse me, Mr. Psycho.

Back in 1977, I lost my daddy's keys. Can you tell me where they at?

That's psychic, Mr. Brown.

Don't let the devil use you and you lie. They lie, you don't lie.

Cora, you got a diamond bracelet. Wait, wait, wait. Under your mattress.

In that sip like that.

Wrapped in toilet tissue.

That's what you got, Cora.

He can't be that stupid.

No, no, really. He is.

Come on.

Oh.

Cora, I probably shouldn't have said that, huh?

You think?

Forgive me, Cora.

Nurses Weekly?

You know what, I always need you guys to come.

Yes, oh, of course I have time for a survey.

Okay, um, white lab coat, black heels, red underwear.

this station for over an hour. Oh, gosh, just calm down. We were just having

some fun. Well, there is no fun in the hospital.

Well, not when you're around, yeah.

Fun killer.

Got a patient killer and a fun killer. Just a family of murderers.

Sasha, we had the best time. We went to the cafeteria, the gift shop, and to

hang out with the EMTs.

Wow, well, I sent you all to cardiology.

I know, but they're so serious.

Siri does a heart attack.

What?

Cardiology. Heart attack. They perform.

Oh, you are so unfunny. Here.

Brianna, I've got something really exciting for us to do.

You are going to come with me to do my rounds.

Boring.

Miss Jenkins, we're ready for you now.

Come on.

It's not boring.

I am her role model. She looks up to me, Renee.

Oh, okay, Sasha.

Hey, what you doing? You know your insurance does not cover wheelchair. You

you gotta walk.

I decided I wanted to be a nurse.

Really? Yeah.

Rihanna, that's great. Just like Renee.

Hey!

That's not great.

It's not great for you, but hey, fake baby.

Now, the key is to always look like you're busy, like this.

Yeah? Yeah. Okay.

Woo! Woo!

Woo! Woo!

Woo! Woo!

Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo!

Woo! Woo!

Mr. Bracken, you move your chair? Yes, Cora, I can move it.

I'm like, move.

What are you doing?

Wait, wait, I'm going to get your... I'm going for the dog.

I'm getting the dog.

Wait, no, not... I'm a

rat for hat, come on.

Mr. Bracken, no, if you two could put your chairs close together, maybe we

untie each other.

Oh, yeah.

Save that woman's life.

Well, that's part of what I like about being a nurse.

Is this what you do all day?

Usually it's not this exciting.

Man, Renee, wasn't Sasha great?

Oh, I know Orphan Annie.

She is a great nurse.

She's actually taught me a few things myself.

I never use any of that crap, but it's nice to know I can if I need to.

So, Brianna, do you think you could do this?

I don't know. It seems like a lot of work.

We've always told you you can be anything you want.

Is this what you always wanted to be, Renee?

Oh, no.

I wanted to be an heiress.

Well, my broke parents, they messed that all up. They're so whack.

Come on, Bree. Let's go check on Miss Jenkins.

Okay.

See it in my head.

Okay, okay. I almost got it. I almost got it.

hear you.

It's Checker Carver.

So what are we going to do, Mr. B? We're going to take them out.

I don't know about this, Mr. Brand. Remember, they have guns.

Carver, we have intelligence.

Oh, we're going to die.

I'm not sure about this.

Everybody just focus.

We need a code word for get up and attack.

Okay, so what's the code word going to be?

Didn't I just say focus? It's get up and attack.

Oh, wait. I got it. I got it. You're free. I'm free.

Yeah.

What? Come on.

Come on, Danny.

I'm coming.

Here,

here, here.

Come on. Let's get out. I hear him. I hear him. They're coming back. Give it,

give it. Are you still untied up?

That's not the way you work.

Look,

man, we've been doing this a long time, and we ain't never seen a house like

this. Nada aqui.

You better stop that cussing in my house.

We've been through every closet, every dresser, looked under every mattress.

We ain't found nothing.

Genuine cubic zirconium.

Where my dear get that kind of money from?

She done started backstripping.

I know it. She done started doing lap dances.

It's like having a herd of elephants sitting in your lap.

This place is a dump.

I thought at least you'd have a safe or some antiques or something.

I guess that only leaves one thing to do.

I'm doing dance moves!

$50. At least get the carpets clean.

We're going to do $50.

This is embarrassing.

Y 'all ain't going to leave my house like this. I know you're not. Hey, where

'all going? Where y 'all going? Oh, we're going to hit the house across the

street. They got a flat screen.

Tell them that.

You ain't got to hit me like that.

Knock the brakes off of him.