Original subtitles

Carver, you don't have the phone ringing? Oh, you go ahead and get it.

I guess I'll get it then.

Hello?

Yeah, this is Leroy Brandt.

Uh, I mean, um, hello?

Me don't speak English.

Yes, tag, tag, tag.

L -A -M -N -O -P, yes, me don't speak English. Okay, bye.

Who was that, Mr. Brandt?

Same old beer collectors.

Do you think it's a good idea for you to hang up on them like that?

Well, if they think it's a good idea to keep calling, I do.

Who you owe?

Uh, P &P Shirt of the Month Club.

Now, I ordered it in January. Then I turned around and canceled it. They keep

sending me them shirts.

And you kept them?

Yeah. Oh, of course. Look at this.

See this right here? This is November. You can tell because I got the turkey.

Yeah. You remember October?

Colonel's birthday?

Yeah. That was what I gave him. I gave him October because it had a goon on the

shirt. Thought it'd remind him of Edna. That is not nice, Mr. Brown. You know

she look like a ghoul.

You better pray to people before they garnish your wages.

Carver, I don't eat that green stuff they put on your plate anyway.

I'm just excited.

That's all. I know, baby.

I'm excited too, okay?

All right, now.

Can a girl get some juice, please? Okay.

Come on. I'll get it for you. I'll get it for you.

A nauseous party of two.

Brown, please.

What are you two up to?

Will is just excited, that's all.

Yeah, I can see that. What are you excited about?

Well, Sasha and I... Will, how about we talk before we go saying things, huh?

Oh, yes. We might have something to announce.

We don't. I checked. False alarm.

What are you two whispering about over there?

Uh, hopefully about stopping all this nastiness.

Just a little marriage talk.

That's it.

I think it's great the way you two talk.

Me too.

Ugh, stop being...

Clary, how you work this thing?

Mr. Brown.

Hello?

Oh, Leroy Brown?

Yes. Hold on, let me see. Oh, yeah, he's right here.

I'm not going to lie for you. I didn't ask you to lie for me. I'm not over

I was over there.

That ain't lying. If I'm over there, I'm not over here. You said he's not over

here.

Hello?

Yes, this is Leroy Brown.

Have I thought about your payment plan?

Yes. Don't plan on me paying it. Thank you.

What?

When?

Oh, yeah.

That's definitely cancer.

Hey, you're not supposed to be giving a diagnosis to anybody.

I was checking my horoscope.

I'm a cancer with a half moon rising on the cusp of Leo.

What are you... Not interested?

Hey, hey, hey, hey. Not so fast.

How was your visit to the fertility doctor?

How'd you know about that?

I know the eyes and ears of this institution. I know about everything.

Oh, really? Uh -huh. Oh, so, did you hear about the nosy nurse who's about to

get fired?

No! Tell me!

For your information, my boys are swimming just fine.

So why did you go to the fertility clinic then?

Not that it's any of your business, but Sasha and I have been trying to have a

baby for a few months now.

Oh, so you thought you were shooting blanks.

I wouldn't shoot blanks.

I'm just trying to make sure.

Oh, so Sasha has the problem.

We don't know that either.

Okay, I'm just trying to cover all bases.

Yeah.

Look, I gotta go back to surgery. Okay.

Okay, can we...

Can we try to keep this between us? Oh, yeah, for sure. Absolutely. No problem.

Your secret is safe with me.

All right.

I'm serious.

I'm serious.

So did you hear that?

It's not Will that's shooting blanks. It's Sasha whose biscuits won't rot.

Oh, yeah.

Come on.

Carver, I need a six -letter word for...

The word is perquadra.

What? Perquadra. What kind of teacher you don't even know what perquadra

Well, you wouldn't. It's Hebrew and Greek. It means one who floats lightly.

Leroy Brown!

How you doing, man?

I'm doing good. How about you?

Oh, it's been a long time. Yes, yes. I haven't seen you since I seen you.

All me and Leroy go a long way back. He's a hard guy to get a hold of.

This is a really nice house you guys got here.

How much you owe on it?

It's paid off.

My dad left me this.

So how you guys know each other?

Go ahead and tell the story, Leroy.

Well, uh... How about you just tell it? You tell it better than I do. You always

told it better than me.

These are really good chips.

Yes, yes. Them the ones with the ridges on them. Yes, great for dipping.

Best that money can buy.

Well, it all started in February.

Oh, yeah, it's coming back in February.

When Leroy here decided that the shirt of the month club didn't deserve

You the one been calling my house all this time. That's right. I'm Ian

from Crestfield Financial.

Since brothers like this stop making payments.

Brothers? Yeah, brothers.

We had to come up with a more aggressive approach.

Okay, I got something aggressive for you right here.

Is this aggressive enough?

Is this aggressive enough?

All right.

But our business isn't finished here, Mr. Brown.

Because at Crestfield Financial, we have a motto.

We'll get you in the end.

If you don't get out of my house, you're going to get got in the end. Get out of

here.

Uncle Brown, what are you doing?

About to starve to death. I can't pick this raw egg up.

Raw egg?

Well, use a fork.

Never mind.

Hi. I'm Egg Roll Master.

Watch me float.

All right, Master Eggroll. Uh -huh. Why don't you float on out of here? Okay.

Mr. Brown, come on. We're going to be late.

Kurt, see if you can pick up one of them egg rolls. Oh, sure.

Let's go.

I like you better than me.

Come on, honey.

Everybody's gone. Come on down.

Wow, look at you.

You like?

I love.

Look at you.

Oh, baby, this is so nice. Yeah, I know.

It's not often we get the house ball to ourselves.

Yeah, the kids are gone, and Uncle Brown and Cora won't be back till later.

Just me and you.

Well, I see that you didn't miss anything.

No one ought to take us like my baby.

I slayed over that phone for five minutes.

That's why I love you.

Hey, why aren't you wearing that perfume I got you?

I forgot.

But it's in my purse. Oh, yeah? Yeah.

Can I go get it? Please.

Thank you.

Oh, babe, this is the wine that I like.

You know what? I think we should try and do this every month.

How about every week? Even better.

You found it?

Yeah.

And I found your birth control pills.

I can't believe you would do this.

Well, look, I am sorry, okay? I know this seems bad, but... No, it seems like

you were lying to me.

Here I am thinking you're trying to have a baby, and I find this.

You didn't want to have a baby. Why didn't you just say you didn't want to

a baby? Well, I just don't know if I want to right now.

I spent the day at a fertility clinic thinking something was wrong with me.

And then I turn around and find these... Well, you didn't tell me you were going

to do that. And you didn't tell me you were on the pill.

I mean...

I thought we agreed we would try again. What are we waiting for?

I was thinking about applying for a nursing anesthetist program.

And you can't do that and have a baby?

We agreed that I would stay home for the first year after having our baby.

Oh, we agreed on that?

So now we're honoring agreement.

Well, I'm just saying that I can't pursue that and raise a newborn. What do

want from me?

Were you relieved when we lost the baby?

Don't you dare ask me something like that. I'm serious.

You know I wanted a baby just as much as you, and I knew how much you wanted a

child. How much I wanted a child? Well, that's not what I mean.

You know that I want to have kids, okay? I just don't know if that's what I want

right now.

Well, why didn't you say that?

I don't know, okay?

What do we do right now, huh?

Where do we go from here?

I don't know. Uh, y 'all, excuse me. When we was going down the street, the

mangroves just come right through me.

Oh, hey, Brown.

Those cookies you ordered for my kids, they came in.

Oh, boo, my mouth been waiting on them. Look at my mouth water, look.

My mouth just watered up.

How much I owe you? $32 .50. There we go. I'll take that.

What the what?

I see them right here.

So tell me something. You can buy cookies, but you won't pay your bills.

That's because I like cookies.

I told you we'd get you in there.

Now, ain't this illegal to be coming up on people's jobs? It should be.

Security!

Toya Smith, because you're next.

Putting an account in your dog's name.

I can't help it. My dog has better credit than me.

Give me my book. Go, Will, go!

Leroy Brown, you can run, but you can't hide.

We'll get you in the end.

I did.

And he was upset.

Gosh, I told him I was sorry.

Look, is this so wrong of me not to want to have a baby right now?

No, not at all.

Okay, so then I should be able to focus on my career, right?

Absolutely. Okay, so why is he so upset?

Because you lied, boo -boo.

But I had a good reason.

Yeah, they were all good reasons.

But was it the real reason?

What are you talking about?

Sasha, you just...

Lost a baby just a while ago.

I've been there.

You have?

Hmm?

And it takes a while to get over, but you can.

I'll be okay.

But do you just want to be okay?

Since when did you get so smart, huh?

I've been watching Oprah.

Oprah?

Oprah?

fix you something to eat?

No, I can order up.

Well, I want to be honest with you.

What? Not now.

I deserve that.

Do you want to know the real reason why I was afraid to have another baby?

That I could go through the pain of losing another child.

But why didn't you come to me?

That's what I'm here for. Baby, I know, okay?

I get it, but I didn't want to talk about this. I just wanted to block it

I thought I could work through this on my own, Will.

On your own?

I thought that I could just stop taking the pills when I was ready.

Well, you left me in the dark.

You don't think losing our baby affected me to our baby?

You don't think I get nervous sometimes?

I don't ever want us to have to go through that again.

Ever.

It just seems so much easier for you.

Are you serious?

You hear what you're saying?

Easier? For who? For me?

Look. Look at me.

Look at me.

It wasn't easy.

All right?

But you know what?

The thought of us creating a new life together?

That's exciting.

So look, when you're ready, and I mean...

When you are really ready, we'll talk.

OK? And I mean, talk, talk, and talk, talk.

I got the whole place barricaded up. I got the windows sealed and the phones

off. This place is locked down tighter than my pants.

Okay, I need you to help me move this couch. Mr. Brown!

Just grab that end, Carmen. Come on, man.

Just do it.

Bring it around.

He ain't gonna never get in here now.

Yep,

this place is pretty well barricaded up. What the what?

How'd you get in here?

Come on, let me in.

Oh, achoo, Carmen.

Achoo.

Achoo. Bless you.

Mr. Brown, he helped me with the groceries.

You know what? I'm out of here.

Who put this couch right here? Help me move this. Mr. Brown, I just want to

a deal with you. Why don't you just make a deal and help me move this couch out

the way? Come on.

How about you hear him out?

Cobra, what? Is he your boyfriend or something? You like vanilla with your

vanilla now?

No. No.

I mean, I would love you.

I would love you good.

I would love you so good.

No. Yes, I would. No, you... No, no. I'll let you two go ahead and talk.

you stop it?

That's my daughter.

She's... No, no, listen, listen.

I'm coming to you today with the greatest offer my company has ever made.

you even know that's my account anyway?

Because it was for the Polyester Palace, and they only had two clients.

You and George Clinton. Shut up, George!

Yeah, but that was a baby.

We had to threaten to sue the funk out of him.

All right, go ahead.

Go on. Anything to get you out of my hair.

Out of your what?

Don't be funny. All right. Just say what you got to say.

As you can see, Mr. Brown, this is what you owe.

That much? Yes, that much. Now, Crestfield Financial is willing to

% of that amount. Okay, look, I'll pay one.

One percent?

No, one dollar.

Here, here's a one crispy new dollar. Here, take it or leave it. No.

Well, I ain't paying nothing then. You can go. Bye -bye. See you later. All

right, well, then I am left with no choice but to garnish your wages until

are paid in full.

Wait a minute. You can do that? Told you!

Hush, Cory. Ain't nobody talking to you.

What?

Who I make the check out to, then?

Pressfield Financial.

Can I use your pen?

I want it back.

You'll get it back.

Who, uh...

I used to be a crest.

Exactly like it sounds.

K -R... No, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's C -R -E -F -T.

C -R -E -F -T. Do you know how to spell field?

Hello, yes.

P -H... No, no, it's F -I -E -L -D.

You ain't got time for me condescending.

I'd write that here.

Nice doing business with you, Mr. Brown.

Nice being forced to do business with you, too.

Oh, wait.

There's just one small problem with the check.

What? It's post -dated two months.

That's your small problem, not mine.

Yo, Cora!

Let me holler at you, girl!

All right. I think it's good you want to clear up your old debt, Mr. Brown.

Yeah, yeah. Okay, so who's next?

Okay, uh, we can play...

No, I don't want to pay them.

I don't even think that's me.

I ain't sure.

What'd you do with that? I ain't paying that. Here, pay them.

Okay.

Uh, their number's right there. It's 555 -5555.

Five. That is not the number. Okay, six. Hold on, okay.

Yes, hello.

Yes, I'm calling for Leroy Brown. I want to make payment arrangements.

Oh.

Okay. Hold on. Mr. Brown, they say they don't make payment arrangements.

They a lie. They tell you that because they want your money.

Ask them again.

I want to know when you make payment. You act weak.

I can't believe money in your mind. You go, can I get payment arrangements? You

got to tell them what you want. Hello?

I want to make payment arrangements.

What you mean y 'all don't make payment arrangements?

Well, I ain't going to pay it then.

Ain't nobody scared because you think you're going to see them. First of all,

you should have connected me with somebody here in America.

Ain't nobody scared. See somebody.

Bye.

See what they do about that.