Original subtitles

Man, you can't beat me. I'm the best.

In your face.

What is all that yelling over there?

I'm trying to get the high score on my new video game.

Who's worried about a high score?

Those video games turn your brain into mush.

It's your score I'm trying to beat.

Oh, well, that'll never happen.

Where are y 'all going anyway?

Oh, we're going over to Miss Edna's and Colonel's for dinner. I thought Mr.

Brown didn't want to go. What makes you think that?

Kyra, for the last time, I'm not going.

Oh, yeah?

Now, stop it, Mr. Brown. Miss Edna's fixed a special dinner, and she's

forward to company. Yeah, I'd want company, too, if I lived with the Grim

Reaper. Is that your car? Let me get a corner. Would you stop it?

This is for Edna's and Colonel's house.

Kyra, you know Edna only eat raw meat for dessert.

You ever seen her take down a bear?

I seen her one day, she run up on him.

No, would you stop it?

Look at that. I'm trying to show you how she do, Cora. Do me a favor. Can you

get my umbrella?

All right. The new Santa weather might get bad. Boy, it's really lightning.

All right. I'll get it, Cora. I'm about to beat your score, Miss Cora. You are?

Let me see that. I don't believe you. I got to see it first.

Let's see.

See? Yeah.

Oh, man.

Is that the reset button? Oh, my bad.

You're too old to be acting like this. Oh, that's coming from a boy with a

second high score.

Not for long.

Come back here with my high score.

You'll have to catch me. Well, I can catch you. Oh, yeah, I can catch you.

go away.

What are y 'all doing? You know you're too old to be playing tag. Oh, come on,

Mr. Brand. You know you want to play.

Here, here you go. Put it on. Oh, thank you. Help me put it on. Here you go.

What are you doing?

You left your hole on it. Well, Mr. Brand, just be still and I'm coming to

Come on. This is not a bullfight. Come on.

Okay, hold it, Carla.

Put it in.

Turn around this way, Carla. Go ahead.

Go ahead.

Thank you. Okay.

Okay. Well, I'm going to get the flower. You get the flower. Okay. All right,

let's go. Carla, you know it's about 88 cents worth of flower in here.

Edna always borrowing something. I want my money. I bought that flower.

Well, we're going to split this. Here.

Okay,

can you grab the umbrella?

Okay. All right, let's see. I feel like I'm forgetting something. We have

everything. Wait a minute.

You about to hit me in my eye with that thing. Oh, you got two of them. You got

a spare.

I'm about to forget something. We got everything?

Yeah, we got everything. All right, come on. Let's go.

Oh, the cop. We forgot the cop, McCarter.

I'm coming, Carter.

I can do it all myself.

That's why I love you. And that's why I don't care. Yeah, we can tell by the way

you're dressed.

The bottom of the street is really rising. Yeah, and it just issued a flash

flood warning. Really? Yeah. You know, if that water keep rising like this,

we're going to have to ride Edna home. Ain't that right, Shamu? Not everybody

comes with their own clothing device.

Or their own blowhole, Shamu. You better shut up.

Frank, would you please come help me set the table?

I'm watching TV.

You better get your behind up. or you're gonna sleep on that couch.

I mean, she's much nicer when I've been drinking.

Again, they call that the ripple effect.

Mr. Brown, you gotta be nice. You know, Mr. Ender's been slaving over a hot

stove all day.

Carver Slaves wouldn't even eat this mess.

Who has prune talk?

Shut up!

Don't move.

I'll get it.

That's why I love you, sweetie.

That's why I love you, sweetie.

guys doing here hey hey the streets are flooded really they said the weather was

gonna get bad oh my gosh guys we couldn't even make it to the house what

can't get home you mean we stuck and ain't no food here to eat but edna's

cooking we gonna die anyway just kill me early oh my gosh hey uh

where's joaquin and brianna at home are you gonna get that

i'm way over

What's wrong? What happened?

This is terrible.

My hair is wet.

Honey, where's Joaquin?

Who cares?

I said my hair is wet.

Yeah, you look like a wet poodle.

Joaquin, are you okay?

Oh, he says he's fine.

Okay, honey, look, we're stuck at Miss Edna's, but we'll be home as soon as we

can. I need to ask you something. I need to ask you something.

Joaquin! Yeah, that's me. I need you to go outside.

Don't worry about the lightning. It'll be okay.

I need you to go light the windows up on my car. I don't want my poster to get

wet.

Hey,

hey, hey, little man. How you doing?

All right, good. Listen, Joaquin, be brave, okay?

We need you to stay near the phone, and we'll be there as soon as we can, okay?

All right. We love you.

All right. Sasha, I'm so sorry. We thought Brianna was going to be home.

My poor baby is probably there.

Why do I love you so much, Mr. Potato Chip?

It's because you're not vegetables.

Sasha, can I have some more soda?

No, Joaquin. It'll ruin your appetite.

Oh, wait. No one's here. I can do what I want.

He's ready.

Ah.

Hot sack.

Nephew, I'm telling you, it's going to be all right. You're worried about

ain't you?

No, he's responsible for his age, and he makes good choices.

He'll be fine. He'll be fine. He'll probably burn down the house.

He better not.

scared of them child protective service people. I believe in spanking kids.

Who is this?

It's blocked. The number is blocked. Hello?

Yes, it's Ms. Brown.

Who?

Hold on. I'll ask somebody if they know.

Does anybody in here know somebody named Seymour Butts?

Seymour Butts. Anybody know him? The last name is Butts. Butts.

No, nobody.

Hello? Hello?

I'm sick of them kids calling here and asking me dumb questions. I don't know

who that is. Who is that, bro? I don't know, but when I find out, they're going

to have to deal with me. Who does something like that? I don't know.

He falls for that every time.

Maybe we should go eat?

You know what? I'd rather starve than to die eating your mashed potatoes.

Now, if Cora fixes what you done already fixed, then I eat. I ain't even

kidding. How can you think about eating?

Let's see.

I'm hungry.

Let's go.

O -M -G.

Basic cable?

Really?

Look, Miss Edna's right.

Joaquin is fine.

Yeah, let's just try to enjoy Edna's cooking while... What do you mean, try

enjoy my cooking? I know what you're trying to say. You're trying to say I

cook.

She finally admitted it. Look, get some pizza delivery, all the time.

Uncle Brian, we can't get anything delivered. The streets are flooded.

And your man -goose twin is waiting for you at the ark.

I wonder if they had bats on the ark. I'll bash you in your big head.

Your child is probably starving!

gracious uncle brown what you eat cabbage cupcakes uncle brown brown

oh brown are you now

i'm praying that the lord will take me now so i won't have to eat your cooking

does anybody else smell mothballs you could show a

little more concern your little brother

I was scared out of his mind.

Don't answer the phone.

Whatever you do, don't answer the phone.

No!

I'm not scared.

I'm not scared.

Hello?

Oh.

Hey, Sasha.

Oh, I'm just sitting here.

Not watching a scary movie or anything.

I guess I could do my homework.

But when are you guys coming?

Hello?

Hello?

Who's there?

Who's there?

Is that you, Brianna?

You better stop playing.

Okay, you got me. Come out now.

He'll panic if we can't talk to him.

Oh, sweetie, sweetie, calm down. What do you mean, calm down? What don't you

understand? Babe, we gotta get over this.

Wait a minute. What the? I know you didn't raise your hand up at me.

Uh -oh.

Boy, she slapped the taste out of my mouth.

Does anybody have a plunger?

It's always them little ones.

And who decorated this place? Fred Sanford?

Hey, Liana.

Sit down and watch TV.

There's nothing on basic cable.

something new when you read.

Seniors Weekly, what's this?

There's an article in there about how to avoid being punished by listening to

your parents.

Look, it's getting late. That baby's been over there too long. He's still

alone. Okay, what we better do is, Colonel, you train your gremlin up in

basement. Wait, wait, wait. What are you talking about? You drove a gremlin up

to last month.

That was my best car I ever had. Yeah, I seen you ran into a kid on a bike and

totaled it.

All right, I'll go. Thank you. Come on, Uncle Brian, come with me.

Will is talking to you? Corporal, I'm ignoring him just like I'm trying to

ignore you.

You won't try to get Colonel to go. He's a Marine.

And besides, I'm allergic to lightning and thunder.

Yeah, it makes me break out in death.

Oh,

you'll be fine.

Come on.

I just need you to tell my story. I'll tell it. He was born, dressed ugly, got

fat, and died.

I'll tell your story, too. She was born, grew an Adam's apple, and she's still

alive.

stick my rot pit mix on you.

It'll go straight for your neck meat.

Of course, this is the best peach cobbler I ever had.

Excuse me.

I'm so tired of the colonel talking about my cooking.

Well, I'm sure he didn't mean anything by it. He thinks my cooking's horrible.

It is not horrible.

It's an acquired taste.

Yeah, maybe he just hasn't acquired it yet.

Stay in the child's place.

You know, what was I thinking?

What was I thinking? I should have gone with them.

You should talk to them, Miss Ed.

He doesn't respect me.

Is this Frederick Douglass?

No, that's the colonel's mother, Harriet.

Oh, the colonel's mother started the Underground Railroad?

Oh, not that, Harriet.

You need to go to school.

The colonel loves and respects you dearly. What do you think, Sasha?

I think this is some blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

The bedmas cooking is terrible and the colonel's insensitive. Woo -hoo!

Excuse me?

I gotta go rescue Will from rescuing Joaquin. Sasha, you need to relax.

I'm sure they'll be fine.

I got some for him, too.

Take that!

Get some!

Will?

What are you doing?

I thought you were a burglar.

What would I steal?

I heard that.

That was you, Mr. Brown? Yes.

And, nephew, I guess you know I'm gonna file charges on this little boy. I think

something is busted in my neck.

He was just protecting himself.

You didn't have to hit me like that. What you been doing here all by

I cleaned up.

What'd you clean up with, dirt?

I did my homework, and I read a bunch of books.

This is reading a book.

Did you let out the windows on my T -Bird like I asked you?

I didn't get around to it.

You look here.

You did pretty good here all by yourself.

Ain't that right, Uncle Brown? Yeah, yeah. Y 'all know we still stuck until

weather lifts.

Oh.

Oh. Sasha.

Hey, honey.

What is it? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Uncle Brown and I made it over here.

Joaquin is fine.

Hey, well, Ted, let me talk to you.

What's that? No.

Of course, it's Uncle Brown. Just making noise. What?

Let me talk. Yeah, Ted, tell Carver to save me some of that cobbler.

Uh, he said to tell Cora to save him some cobbler. Yeah, Joaquin jumped on

No, ain't nobody jumping. He jumped on me. Shh, what's happening?

Oh, she said to, uh, stop crying like a baby. Ain't nobody crying like, let me

talk to her. See, that's what you, y 'all don't got to get this. You don't be

talking to me like that. I am your elder. You are not older than me. You're

going to be coming over here and disrespecting me like that.

Say, say what?

You know what? Just take this.

She hung up on you, didn't she? Long time ago. I knew it.

It's all right, though.

Why does this chair have a skirt on it?

Edna, can I talk to you for a moment?

Not if it's more jokes about my cooking.

Please.

Go and talk to him, Edna.

Edna, look.

I'd like to propose a compromise.

I won't talk about your cooking.

And you won't cook.

Well,

I fell in love with you, not for your cooking in the kitchen.

The kitchen is the only place we haven't done anything.

Oh, wouldn't you two get a room? Stop being nasty.

They're all our rooms.

Ahoy, matey!

I just used my time to do a little thinking.

And it's the doku puzzle.

Oh, so why are you dressed in fatigue, soldier?

I tell you, little GI bro tried to kill us.

Yeah, actually, he was just protecting himself.

I didn't know he had it in him.

So good to see you're alive, little bro.

But I'm out. Deuces.

Uh, sweetie, did you eat?

Uh, I saved you some of Cora's cobbler.

I'm starving.

Hey, Jeff, eat the cobbler. Don't eat nothing else. It'll kill you.

Well, it looks like we survived a natural disaster.

We did. You didn't. You got this thing.

Oh, Mr. Brown.

Brown, Edna's my woman, and I will not have you disrespect her in our home.

You're right. I'm sorry.

I do apologize for disrespecting you in your home. Well, Sasha, get your stuff

and let's go.

I'm so sorry to disrespect you two dudes. I mean, y 'all in your house. I'm

going to do it. Let's go.

Get your stuff and let's go.

And I won't disrespect you in your house, but you buzzard!