Original subtitles

I see you putting on another coat of ugly, Monzilla.

Cora and I are going to the gospel concert, if it's all right with you.

today? Well, why y 'all didn't tell me so I can go? After how you acted last

year. Yeah, I'm surprised they didn't revoke your church membership.

Well, the choir director was taking requests, so I made a request.

Asking her to step aside is not a request.

Cora, the girl was blocking half of the tenor section.

She was... You know she... I'm just saying. That's all I'm just saying.

the problem. You're always just saying.

Cora, you know what? I just sit here and eat my chips all by myself and watch

TV.

And I made a TV dinner to go right along with it.

Now, Cora, I just stopped by Wendy.

Give me a single and be here by myself. Please, please. All right.

Okay. You can go with us.

Really? What?

Y 'all will never know. I'm not going to bother nobody.

I'll be as quiet as Daniel in the lion's den.

Y 'all won't know nothing. Y 'all won't even... Y 'all broke down Thelma and

Louise.

Y 'all going to miss me just like the Commodore's Miss Lionel Richie.

God don't like ugly.

Or... Pudgy what?

Hey, Mr. Brown, I'm back.

You back, front and top, middle, side. What?

Where's Cora?

I came back early. You're surprised.

Well, you're the one surprised.

Cora gone out.

Cora!

Cora gone out.

With who?

With a man.

With a man?

Yes, it was man.

It was many -ish. Many -ish.

No wonder she hasn't been returning any of my calls.

She's creeping.

You know what? You might need to go on back to that fat camp.

It was a football camp.

Boy, that's what they told you.

Man, this whole Cora thing is making me lose my appetite.

Well, maybe it's here in your back fat. Man,

she won't even take my calls.

What did I do to her that was so bad?

I don't know, but Cora been living it up ever since she was gone off to that fat

camp. No, I done told you.

It was football camp.

But she did mention your name the other day, though. What did she say?

She said, I ain't missing Reggie at all. That's what she said.

I'm telling you, Cora been living it up.

She been going to the movies, to the museum.

She been doing all kinds of stuff.

She been doing stuff?

Yes, a lot of stuff.

With who?

Gordon. You not finna get me in that. I'm not finna get in nobody's business,

especially Cora's and Gordon with all the stuff they be doing.

How did she do this to me?

I'm telling you, my Cora been living it up. She been a hot item ever since she

lost that 300 pounds.

Look, Cora ain't never been no 300 pounds.

I'm talking about you, McFaddy.

Oh, Mr. Brown, you gotta help me.

Uh, there's only one problem with that.

Oh, what's that?

I don't like you.

Oh, come on now, Brown.

I... I'm serious.

How about a candlelit dinner?

John Botron, didn't you just get through eating a sauceberry steak?

I'm not talking about me, and I'm not talking about now.

I'm talking about with Cora.

You know, there is this lovely, lovely, romantic place that Gordon likes to take

her with candlelight and dimmers and everything.

Whoa, slow down, Maldini.

I'm not taking her to eat at Gordon's favorite spot.

I got to do something for her that no man has ever done before.

Ah!

Buy her daddy a new car.

Now, how is that going to help me and Cora?

You just selfish.

I was thinking about yourself. Can you think about others before you put

yourself before yourself? What you talking about? When you thinking about

somebody else? I'm not always thinking about nobody like this. You eat this

cinnamon thing. Yes, I'm going to eat my cinnamon thing.

I'll eat it for you. You don't need nothing else. You big enough. See, the

problem is you're only touching people's stuff. That's your problem. All right.

There you go. Now, if anybody asks, your name is Mylene.

Mylene? Mylene.

Mylene.

Myling, where are you going?

Her husband is over there grieving.

Stupid.

Are you going through people's personal effects again?

Nurse Myling!

Take this stolen box of jewelry and get out of here before I report you!

Now go!

Wait.

I'm going to hold this for you.

Because I know you're going to try to push it off on somebody else. I know

Myling. I know you. What?

So she's selling stolen jewelry, huh?

Girl, can you believe it?

You know, you really need to screen your nurses better.

Yo, yo, yo, yo.

Can you tell Pookie I'm going to take 20 on the three pick?

But, Nate, come on.

Girl, you are gambling, selling hot jewelry.

What are you going to do next?

Ooh, hopefully that hot guy in room 301. Girl, have you seen him?

Girl, he threw his back out playing ball.

His name is Tori Kirkland.

God, I dated a tall Kirkland in college. And so you think it's the same one?

Well, it's the same name and the same birthday.

And he is still throwing his back out.

Detail.

Let's just say what happens in college stays in college. Well, does Will know

your R .E .N. stands for real nasty?

No. So let's keep this between us, please.

Okay. The secret is safe with me.

Hey, beautiful.

Hi. Not you, Renee.

Sasha's ex -boyfriend is in room 301. Renee!

What? Sorry, I slipped out accidentally on purpose.

What's she talking about?

You remember that guy I told you I dated in college?

You know, Tori.

Thank you.

Tori?

Wait a minute, corny, Tori? Your study partner?

No, they did more than study.

I know Sasha had a life before she's married, so... So did I. I mean, I'm not

worried about that.

Wow.

Security and a man is sexy. So sexy.

Besides, that was years ago.

Yeah. I mean, I can only imagine what...

Corny Tori looks like now.

Probably some real, like, funny big -head dude or something.

Excuse me, but I've been trying to fill out my paperwork, and it says I need to

show my insurance card, my ID, and bring lime jello?

Renee.

Sorry. Okay, you can forget about the first two.

Hold up one second.

Sasha?

Tori!

Tori?

Girl, you look great. Wow, and you look... Not corny.

Have you met my husband?

Will.

What's up, Will?

Cora, we need to talk.

What's up, Rich?

What's up?

I haven't seen you for months and that's all I get?

Oh, what's up, Reggie?

Uh, how you doing?

How am I?

Hey,

look what I got.

Oh, that's nice.

Who's it for?

It's for you, boo.

Well, thank you, boo.

But wait, there's more.

You get that jersey and dinner with a sexy man.

Oh, the old Spice Man is out there on his horse?

Very funny.

It's me.

I got a coupon for Grub's Grill Buffet.

But we got to go early because it expires at 5 o 'clock.

I thought they banned you from that place.

Oh, they did.

That's why I bought this.

What? It worked at the Waffle House.

I got you one, too.

I don't want that.

Plus, I have plans, anyway.

What plans?

Hey, Cor, we still on in 30 minutes?

Yep, I'll be there.

Okay. Hey, welcome back, Coach Reggie. Nice mustache.

Those are your other plans?

Hmm, I know what's up.

You don't know anything.

All right, Sasha.

I can't keep this gown tight to save my life.

Wait, I got it. I got it. Hold up, hold up. It's untied. Hold on.

I'll get it. It's my job.

Yep, it's untied.

Me likey.

Okay, Renee, would you stop? Tori, I will tie it for you. Thank you. Okay.

Looks like somebody's getting special treatment.

Hey, I picked the right place to get treated, Doc.

I mean, two beautiful nurses in one place?

Man, is this a hospital?

Oh, heaven.

How about we get back to work?

So, uh, I see turquoise is still your favorite color.

Actually, her favorite color is red.

Actually, well, come here.

My favorite color is turquoise.

Okay, um, I know her favorite song. Her favorite song is At Last by Etta J.

Ho? Because I thought your favorite song was Baby Got Back.

It is!

It is? Yeah.

It's both.

Yeah, it's baby got back at last.

That's the joint.

Excuse me.

So, Will, what's your favorite song? If you all know me by now.

Speaking of songs.

No, you don't, Tori. No, you don't. Not the song. Wait, there's a song?

Come on, come on, come on.

Well, in college, I asked Sasha out a few times. A few times?

So I went over to her dorm room one night to sing her a song.

If you can call that singing.

Okay, guys, it was awful, right? So I go to my window and I look out and it's PK

there singing this song that he wrote. Oh, my God. Oh, what was it called?

Oh, it's a break.

No, I doubt it.

Sasha holds the key to my heart.

So is that how you got the booty?

Okay. All right.

That'll be enough.

Okay. Tori. Yeah. Why don't we go on and, you know, get you on down here to

morgue. Okay.

Right. I mean, that's right.

Okay. Right.

Not everybody can have two men like you, Sasha. I only have one man, and that's

my husband, Rene.

Yeah, but the other one wrote you a song.

Oh, Renee, you know what? Now that I think about it, what we had was really

special.

Well, if it was so special, then why'd y 'all break up? Girl, I don't know.

We were young. We were in college.

There's something about a guy that'll make a fool out of himself for you.

That's true.

Sounds like Tori's the one that got away.

And you should have seen your shoes, too, but your belly won't allow that.

Hey, I need to talk to you. I'm desperate.

Yeah, you always desperate. I already know what you're going to say.

Okay, look.

No, I don't care that Cora left you.

Yes, I think she can do better. And no, I don't have no change for the snack

machine. Now, wait a minute now.

I love Cora. You love cheese, boy.

And Cora, I just want to know why she changed her mind about us.

Reggie, you know, sometimes people just grow out of things.

Kind of like you and them shorts.

Anybody seen Cora?

She's out. What's up?

Came here to see Cora, not you.

That's one for him, big brother.

Well, she's busy.

Come back later.

That's one for him, super head job. Is there some sort of a problem here?

Yeah.

Cora's been tripping lately.

And I hear that you've been throwing salt in my game. Boy, with your cankles

looking like that, you know you can't stand no more salt.

Maybe she's just seeing you for who and what you really are.

And what is that?

Okay, look, I got this one. Let me do it. That's too easy.

You go ahead. You go ahead. Okay. A 35 -year -old mama's boy.

I told you that was an E.

Talk up one for him.

I live with my mama so that I can save money. To do what?

Buy a new car?

Oh, you got to have an old one first.

Right to the temple. A right cross to the temple.

Reggie is staggered. Well, just take a knee, Reggie. Just give up. Man, if you

wasn't my boss, you'd be unemployed.

No one's trying to hire a coach whose only win came by forfeit.

Down goes Reggie. Down goes Reggie. Reggie, just quit, son. Just step out.

I'm not going to stoop to your level. Hold on now. I'm not going to let you

Listen, listen.

I'm just going to go ahead and leave these here for Cora.

You a punk.

Come on, let me take you somewhere you can cry in peace.

Hey, Renee.

Tori is ready to be discharged.

Oh, maybe I should give him a ride in my 82 Civic, boo.

Sasha, you're my hottest...

What are you doing?

Oh, girl, I'm giving you something to remember.

She gonna remember. I'm gonna record it and put it on YouTube.

Here you go.

Shots on you, my heart and soul.

Even though your feet are cold.

Special. You like it?

Will, don't do that again.

Sasha, girl, it was so good to see you again. Good seeing you too, Tori.

And Renee. Oh, don't.

Don't speak.

No, no, gentle Scorpio.

I'm a Gemini.

Don't speak.

Oh, we could have been between us. Let's just...

Remember the times that we've had.

Girl, something wrong with you. Can I get my discharge papers?

Here, take a little funky discharge papers.

You know, some people just don't know a good thing when they see it.

Oh, what'd you do that for?

Because you just made a fool out of yourself.

Oh, so when Tori does it, it's so...

Wrinkles starting to come, sag starting to sag.

Well, Tori was a part of my past.

When I met you, I knew I found my soulmate.

I'm going to throw up.

Baby. All right, I'm sorry. I guess I just got a little carried away. Yes, you

did.

Baby, look, no one will never...

ever steal my attention from you. You know that.

Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. Hey, hey, hey. Idris Elba was just admitted into ER.

Come on, girl.

Ouch!

Are you... Are you nervous?

Ouch! Girl, when is the last time you got these eyebrows blocked?

When Jesse Jackson was president.

That...

Hey, by the way, I'll go get my weed whacker.

Oh, hey, good.

Hey, Cora, we need to talk. What's so important?

Hey, Cora, we need to talk.

Reggie, what are you doing here?

What am I doing here?

What is he doing here?

Look, Reggie, man, she's over you, man. Just go back out that door, man, and

move on.

Slow down there, buddy. Just because you took somebody out to a couple

candlelight dinners don't make you the man around here.

Candlelight dinners?

Who told you that?

Did you tell Reggie that Gordon and I had candlelit dinners?

I didn't say all the way candlelit, Cora.

You said that they were having candlelit dinners.

What? Okay, Cora, I said it. You ain't got to look at me like that.

It ain't just Brian. It ain't just me, yes.

You been cold towards me?

Cold, casket cold, Cora. Ever since I came back. Preach, brother, preach. And

you haven't even mentioned the flowers I bought you. Mm -hmm. What flowers? I

ain't getting any flowers.

Yeah, now, Cora, yeah, Pudgy did get you some flowers. Yeah, he set them on the

desk. Gordon seen them? He was right there.

Gordon, did you see some flowers?

Yeah.

Well, nothing.

No, what had happened was... I'll throw them away.

You what?

Throw them away.

Why would you do something like that, Gordon?

Look, Cora...

You need a man like myself. Somebody who's going to love you and appreciate

and be there for you all the time. I mean all the time, baby. Boy, you sound

like a soap opera.

Turn your world and go, what?

Boy, you need to leave.

Look, Cora, I can explain.

She said you need to leave, bro -ham. Bye.

Yeah. Go. See you. Go. See you. Bye.

That's what I'm talking about.

That's my Cora.

Now, where were we?

You were about to leave, too.

Reservation for one.

What did I do?

You show up here after months of not calling and expect me to jump? My mama

didn't pay the phone bill. And I have to deal with your crazy mama? She ain't

that crazy. Who do you think you are? Mr. Big Stuff.

If you want to be with me, if you want to date me, you got to ask me like you

did when we first met, baby. Beg. That's what you got to do.

Beg.

Okay.

Will singing his original song for me. Last time a man serenaded me, the jerry

curl was a new look.

Well, Reggie talks off -key.

All righty. Here it is. What you got?