Original subtitles

Get back to work.

311, 312.

Boy, Joe Grace, I know you're not wasting precious time counting cracks in

ceiling. No, I'm counting all the places I'd rather be than right here.

Woo, thank God the bell got to go, Miss Simmons got to go. No, that's the fire

alarm. Oh, well, thank God for the fire got to go, Miss Simmons got to go.

Check that again. Are you sure? Ma 'am, ma 'am, please don't make us stay here,

Mr. Brown. Please don't. You were in detention, right?

DMC, so sit down!

Sit down!

Oh, thank you so much, Mr. Brown. No problem, Cora. You can leave now. Yes,

Oh, Mr. Brown, wait. Can you tell Ms. Smith to come see me?

About that, Cora, Ms. Smith's not going to make it. You remember the fire alarm?

You said the building wasn't on fire.

No, the building wasn't. But Ms. Smith was.

Cora is not needed as she is. She had the nerve to wear a carter rod.

She just... She just combusticated.

But I put her out, Corby. She all right. Was the fire extinguisher, Mr. Burns?

No, I pushed out the door. Wasn't no need of all of us burning up.

All right, I'll tell you. All right.

Come on in here. You know I've been waiting to get you in here.

Hey!

Miss Jones, no means no.

Disrespectful woman.

What y 'all doing in here?

This ain't proper fire procedure.

What you doing with that tight shirt on?

The question is, what are you doing? Yes, what are you doing, tight shirt?

I was about to stop, drop, and roll.

Ha.

I got three words for you.

Pathetic. Actually, that's four words, Mr. Brown.

Pathetic. That boy good. He right. That boy, he going to a junior, junior

college.

You know what?

I'm glad... Wait a minute. Actually, I'm glad you stopped in. You have

detention. Why? I didn't touch Miss Jones.

What? Today.

Wait. What time is it?

No. You're up next in rotation.

Oh, no. Cora, I can't do that. I got something to do after school.

What? Miss Jones.

Man.

You own that stuff, ain't you? Yes, you... Oh!

No, no, no, no, no, no. Uncle Bronson, I'm not stealing.

I'm hiding these things from Sasha.

Shut up, Sasha.

Sasha's on that stuff.

You know what? It's always the pretty ones that get turned out first.

I bet your hair gonna fall out next week.

Sasha's mom's bringing over her new boyfriend.

So he on the stuff?

Y 'all gonna need a family rehab plan.

Uh, I got a coupon.

Treat one crackhead, get the next one for free.

No, no, no, no. Wait, see, Uncle Brown, I'm just hiding all the stuff that Sasha

can use as a weapon.

See? Oh, wait. Y 'all done lost it. Ooh.

These are sharper than they look.

Okay, really?

See, Sasha goes crazy when Mom brings over a new man.

Oh, okay. Has anyone seen the knives?

No. No, you... Sasha.

You still need our nutcracker?

No. No nutcracker. Sasha, don't hurt your mama's man.

Look, if you want to hurt a man, hurt Etna.

You get less time for cruelty to animals.

You should know.

Michael Thicke.

Guys, would you stop being silly? I was in there making snacks.

What kind of snack you make with a nutcracker? And I am happy my mom is

again.

You are?

Look, my parents are divorced. If they've moved on, so should I.

Wow, sweetheart, that's very mature of you.

But I'm still hiding the sharp object.

Will, I am fine.

Okay? And besides, my mom has great taste.

Just like me.

So maybe she's dating a hot shot doctor just like me.

Maybe he's rich.

Maybe he's still teething. Look at this baby.

Sorry we're late.

Car trouble.

What, you couldn't get him out his car seat?

My name is Edna. And

you are? I am Dion.

Dion Walker.

What was that?

Osteoporosis.

Girl, you sure know how to pick them.

No, she don't. That one ain't even ripe.

How you doing, man? I'm good. I'm well.

This is my beautiful wife, Sasha.

All the way over there.

How old are you?

Oh, babe, that's easy. I'm about 20. Not you. I'm talking about baby boy right

there.

Well, look, it's finally nice to meet you. You know, your mom's told me a lot

about you.

Funny. I haven't heard much about you.

There ain't that much to tell. The boy ain't been alive that long.

Would you two like to sit down? I wish we could.

But tonight, I'm all over young ZZ.

Oh, no, no, no, no, babe, that's young ZZ.

Young ZZ. Oh, ZZ.

No, no, no, no, ZZ.

Excuse me, I thought you said your name was Dion.

No, no, no, no.

Young Jeezy's one of the hottest rappers in the game. On the way over, my boy

called and got a ticket.

Really, Mom?

Young Jeezy?

You know what they say.

You're never too old.

Girl, they lied to you. You better quit out of this before you break a hip -hop.

I thought that we were all going to get a chance to know each other a little

better before... And we will.

Tomorrow.

I promise, okay?

Girl, you don't at your age tomorrow, I ain't promise.

Come on, baby, let's go bust the moon. All right. You gonna fool around and

the bladder.

Sasha, your mama a cougar.

I used to be a cougar.

Now you just an old alley cat.

How much time we got left?

Too much. Now quit asking me questions. I'm busy.

Do you think the clock is slow?

Man, you slow. Why don't you study some, boy?

No wonder our basketball team is owing all the other games.

Man, like you can do any better.

When I was your age, I was all state.

That's because there's only 13 of them.

Don't do that, my love.

See? Still got it.

Man, that was luck.

I bet you can't do it again.

I bet you I can.

Well, let's make this interesting. Yeah, Milo.

Let's.

Look at that. It's getting embarrassing for you, Milo. It's getting

embarrassing. That's all right. Best two out of three.

Defense. Defense.

Why are you doing a cheerleading stance, boy?

Why is this boy practicing a dismount?

Okay, which one of you juvenile delinquents ordered a pizza?

What you got to say for yourself?

Man, they forgot the breadsticks.

Uh, this is supposed to be detention, not chunky cheese.

Come on, Brown. We're just having a little fun trying to pass the time.

Milo? Look, I'm just a kid. I ain't in charge here. Just get my pizza.

Get in the back. Get in the back. There you go.

Come on. I have you to know these kids are playing you. Please.

I look like I can be played.

Yes, like a bootleg DVD you can be playing.

Here, come on. You go. Come on. Take that over. Look, if you want to learn

to handle these kids, you got to think like a child like me.

What you talking about?

You think you can just come up in here and... No, no, no, no, no. Mr. Brown is

right. We shouldn't be playing basketball in here.

Let's take it outside.

Oh, wait a minute.

Ah!

Ah, freeze, future felon. Sit down.

What's wrong, Mr. Brown?

You scared Darnell might dunk on you?

Yes, he is.

You know, he was all state.

All state.

More like all faith.

Listen, if you kids really want to learn something about basketball, y 'all ask

the profession. Look at my elevation.

See how I jumped up so high you couldn't. What? You mean like you?

Yes, like me. They don't call me LeBron James for nothing.

Who called you that?

You and I put this style eight in your face. Check it out.

Look, I'm hanging from the rim.

I'm hanging. You see me hanging?

Eight. Really?

Don't judge me.

And that was our first trip to Maui. Yeah, we didn't see much of the island

weekend. Oh, God.

Oh, and that is her first tattoo. She screamed like a baby.

Oh, don't make fun of me.

Oh, no, baby.

I've heard you scream a few times.

Oh, yes, you have, Mr. Wiggle.

I think I just threw up in my mouth.

Why don't Will and I go get some drinks?

You know, cool you two off.

Thanks.

You okay?

Perfectly fine, honey. I am perfectly fine.

What makes you think I'm not fine?

Because you're getting ready to give Dion... Joaquin's race car cup.

Oh, Phil.

He is so young.

What is my mom doing with him?

Well, she probably is. Don't you say that. Okay.

Relax.

Sweetheart, they're just dating, okay?

I'm sure you dated a lot of guys until you found the right one.

Oh, well, that is true.

You don't have to agree so fast.

Well, let's get back in there. I can do this.

I can.

One more thing.

Uh, what's that for?

In case she's got to burp her boo.

Okay.

Miss Edna!

What are you doing here, huh?

I, um, came back to give Will his magazine.

Uh, what magazine, Miss Edna?

I don't read AARP.

You're just being nosy.

No, I'm not.

Don't tell me.

Where did you do me?

We met at a restaurant. She was with another guy.

I wasn't even sure she noticed me.

Well, you brought bread to my table eight times. And you weren't even our

waiter.

Wow, so you're a waiter, huh?

Oh, no, but that's only part -time.

I'm an artist.

And he's going to be big one day.

If he keeps drinking his Milky Wookie.

I get it. I know I'm young.

Yes, you are.

Actually, your mom was worried that you wouldn't approve of me, Sasha.

Me, not approve?

Oh, please.

I am down for anything.

As long as my mom is happy, I'm happy.

I'm so glad to hear you say that. Me too, since I asked her to marry me.

You asked my mom to marry you? Oh, girl, you are my hero.

Well, I better leave.

But send me an invitation, will you? Oh, Will.

Hand me your magazine.

I gotta get me one of those.

Get rid of the colonel.

Sasha, hold on. Let me explain.

What is there to explain, Mom?

You're gonna marry a guy half your age. People are gonna laugh at you.

You're making a fool of yourself.

Sasha, I am...

What people think. Well, obviously not. You're going to marry a little boy toy.

Hey, hey, hey.

I am not a toy.

Okay, maybe we need to just stay calm and be rational.

I am being rational, Will. It's my mom who's losing her mind.

Sasha, I thought you were cool with this. Well, I'm not.

Well, you know, maybe we should sit down and talk.

Will, please stay out of this. This is between me and my mom.

This is between me and Dion. Come on, let's go, baby.

Oh, so it's like that?

It's like that.

You know what, Mom? Fine.

I thought the stupidest thing you ever did was leave my dad.

But I guess I was wrong.

Wait a minute.

Maybe we should just sit down, you know, and talk about this.

Today.

Turn your textbooks to page 40.

Let's talk about the Boston Tea Party.

All right, this is going to be a... Who threw that?

It was me, Ms. Simmons. It was me.

Boy, have you lost your mind.

You know what?

I'm going to let you off with a warning this time.

Hmm, warning.

And you call yourself a teacher.

No,

do you want detention?

Yes, I think I earned it, right?

All right, that's one day of detention.

One day, huh?

That's all you got?

Cora?

Cora? That's Ms. Simmons to you.

And that's one week.

Yep. No, detention.

Detention, baby.

That's right. Smell that. Smell that. That's detention, baby.

Detention, real bad.

Real bad detention.

So bad.

Now let that be a lesson to all of you.

You mess with Miss Simmons, you get detention.

Hey, wait a minute.

All right, well, uh,

we'll leave you two.

Wait, wait, I didn't get a chance to tell him about me and Bow Wow.

To be continued.

Sasha. I don't want to hurt you. No, too late for that, Mom.

If you just listen.

You are actually going to marry that guy?

Mom, he is so young, and he is nothing like Daddy. What could you possibly see

in him?

He's young, and he's nothing like your Daddy.

Well, you know what? I don't care.

All right? You can't marry him. You just can't.

Why not? Because if you marry him...

Because if you marry him, it means that you and Daddy will never be together.

And I just want you two to be happy.

Sasha, we are happy living our separate lives.

We both love you.

Oh, this is so hard.

You're actually going to get married again?

I'm not getting married.

But baby boy asked you to marry him. Yes, and I said no.

You did.

He's a good man.

He's smart. He's funny.

He's a good waiter.

Okay, and why didn't you just tell me that?

You never gave me the chance.

Mom, I'm sorry, okay?

I want you to know it's not because he's young.

It's because I'm not ready to get married. I'm having the time of my life

now.

I just want you to be happy for me.

Promise I'll try?

No.

Help me up, honey.

Give me a big hug. Stop going for young Jeezy.

That's what you need to do.

Retention limbo.

Get low, Milo. Go down.

Go, Milo. Go, Milo. Go, Milo. Get low. Go, Milo. Get low. Go, Milo. Go, Milo.

Go, Milo. Yeah.

All right, man.

Your turn.

You out your mind.

I don't know nobody who can bend their body like that.

Well, except for Sherita.

Sherita? Ain't your mama named Sherita?

Oh, man. Get out of the way. Come on.

We'll talk after the class, son.

All right, detention limbo.

Come on, Brown, your turn. All right.

Everybody say, get low. Say, get low. Say, get low. Say, get low. Say, get

Get low, get low. Get low, get low. How low can I go? How low can you go? How

low can I go? How low can you go?

That's what I want to know. Oh, Miss Simmons.

Where you going, Mr. Brown? Get back here. Ain't nobody going anywhere.

So this is what you call your teaching technique?

The limbo?

No.

Yesterday we played basketball. I ain't finna lie and get me into this. I ain't

finna do it. I'm going to lunch. Put me in there. Man, you scored 36 points.

I scored 38 points and two free throws.

So this is why you're so popular all of a sudden, Darnell.

Hold up. Wait a minute.

Let him put some teaching in it.

I was popular long before detention.

You understand? Right, Milo? Nah, bro. We don't even like you.

You know, sit down, traitor.

So what? We just having a little fun. Just because it's detention doesn't mean

we got to be punished.

Hello? The definition for detention is punishment.

That's right, Carver. You punishment them. Everybody, you be punished.

What are you talking about? You were right here with them. Carver, the only

reason I was here is because they had pizza. Me and this boy right here had a

bunch of pizza. Tell her. You tell her.

You better say something. I don't know which one of y 'all I'm more

in. You should be disappointed in these kids.

They the ones that talked us into it. That's true, right? You bad, you bad,

you ain't nothing.

But y 'all the ones who told us we could play basketball.

Marlo, don't worry about it.

Go get me a switch.

Carver, you can't whoop these kids for no switches.

You're right, Mr. Brown.

But you two aren't kids. I can whoop them. Carver, you can't do that.

It was him. You ain't see him.

I hear you.

Hey!

You want to make it two?

You ain't see Milo?

It wasn't no Milo. Don't be trying to lie on them kids like that.

Now look, let that be a lesson to you two. You mess with Miss Simmons, you get

detention, all right?