Original subtitles

Good morning, everybody.

Good morning, Cora.

Hey, Cora, you been working out? Yes, sir.

How many miles you run a day?

Two. Girl, you know you ain't ran no two miles. You walk two miles.

I'm working out. I'm working on it.

Ooh, Brianna, is that makeup you wear?

Yes. You need to take it off.

I hardly have any on.

Told you you look like a clown.

I'm scared of them clowns.

I come down the hall this morning.

And it was Warren wearing a red wig with white face and big red lips.

Wait a minute. That was Miss Daisy.

Cora, she's just wearing a little lip gloss and liner. I mean, she's too young

to be wearing makeup.

No, she's not.

Look, no offense, Cora, but that's not your decision.

Well, you are new at this parenting thing.

You better not wear makeup now before you know it, you'll be in the fag lane.

I agree with Sasha.

A little age -appropriate makeup ain't gonna hurt nothing.

Thank you, Mr. Brown. You're welcome.

Well, I think the appropriate age is 18 when she can vote and wear makeup on the

same day.

I agree with Cora.

I think 18.

Um, hello, guys.

Don't I have any say in this? I mean, it is my face.

No.

Ooh,

girl, you got distance around, Sam.

Kids are made to be seen and not heard.

And seen without makeup.

Do I really have to take off my makeup?

No.

No,

you don't, Brianna.

And I'm done talking about this.

Oops, I should be back.

You got an attitude.

You don't mess with her until she done drunk her morning coffee.

Yes, she got to have her coffee or she will have a nasty attitude for the rest

of the day. All right, kids, it's time for school.

Don't forget, my class is having a bake sale. I got you covered. Lemon pound

cake. I love Miss Cora's lemon pound cake.

But I'm making your lemon pound cake.

Oh, man.

What's wrong with my pound cake?

Well, if you can't say nothing nice, don't say nothing at all.

Sasha, did anybody ever tell you you're supposed to put sugar in pound cake?

Girl, I done had cornbread sweetened in your pound cake.

Mr. Brown, the directions don't call for sugar.

You don't use no direction for no pancake. You use a recipe.

You mean a recipe?

You can't tell me nothing because you can't cook.

What are you doing?

I'm just trying to brighten this place.

Mr. Brown's style is just a little old -fashioned.

I decorated this place.

That's what I would have paid for.

You don't like it?

I didn't say I didn't like it. I just wish you would have asked me first.

Cora, I was just trying to make the place look better. I mean... Well, who

something was wrong with it, and who said it looks better?

Look, Sasha, you worry about the kids. I worry about the house.

later, scope.

Mr.

Brown, how about these new pillows, huh?

You didn't use one of my old shirts to make this, did you?

No, it's not.

Look, how do you like the new throw?

It should be thrown out.

Mr. Brown, it's covering up the cash that your daddy gave you.

Yeah, you know, my daddy liked doll stuff. That's why I married my mama.

Boy, I tell you, that woman could put a book to sleep.

a few changes now, do you?

Well, I don't think it was necessary.

I was talking to Mr. Brown. I done stepped into something and it ain't my

Mr. Brown, don't you think Sasha should have said it? Don't you think I should

be allowed to just... My daddy told me about this. He said, never come between

two women unless you're laying on your back.

I don't know what he meant by that, but it seemed like it worked right now.

My name is Bennett, and I ain't in it. My name is Paul, and ba -di -ba -dip,

that's all.

My name is Ray, and that's all I got to say.

My name is Raphael.

I don't know a rhyme with Raphael, but that's, that's, you got, you know what I

mean.

Excuse me, London, what are you doing?

Working on my core.

I thought your core was parked out front.

I'm doing Pilates.

Oh, no, I don't. Don't buy them foreign cords. I'm just buying U .S. now. I

don't need no U .S. cords.

Well, you should really try this.

Helps with your abs.

I have you to know my abs are good and strong.

Look, I tell you what. I feel like a backwards turtle shell. Here, get it.

It's strong. I'm telling you.

Don't let it.

You got the weight. I'm supposed to say one, two, three. You can't just punch

me. It was all squishy.

I want to do it again. Yeah, you better get back. We ain't going to do no

foreign exercise. Let's do some U .S. stuff.

my uterus, girl.

I'm gone, too.

Ready? Go. One, two, six, eight.

No, thank you. Seven, eight, nine, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen

hundred. Yeah, see that? I'm getting your oil. Come on.

What you two doing home so early?

A water main broke at our school, so they sent us all home. Your water broke

school?

I'm not pregnant.

Mr. Brown, our teacher said to ask our families about a safety plan.

Do we have a safety plan? Yes, we have a safety plan.

Stay out of Mr. Brown's stuff. His wallet, his anything that has to do with

Brown, stay out of it and you'll be safe.

No, seriously.

A safety plan for the house.

Yes, we have a safety plan.

It's called Code Brown. Anytime you hear Code Brown, just get ready because

something's happening. And I was watching the news the other day. They

should always keep your safety kit.

I keep the main one in the garage and the other one in the house. I'm going to

get the safety kit for you.

Now, there's a few things you should always have in your safety kit.

Like an alibi and a good lawyer's phone number.

Yes, and you should probably have your psychokinesis on speed dial, too.

Good idea.

Yes, it is.

You should have bandages in case you want to bandage something.

You should also have alcohol.

Yum. Not.

For that purpose, London.

Not to drink.

I've seen you coming. What if there's a fire?

Oh, I'm an expert on fire.

Come here, let me show you. Now, the main thing you have to do when it's a

is you got to assess the situation.

Okay. Everybody say, assess the situation.

Assess the situation. Assess the situation.

Yes. Okay, first thing you need to do is smell and see if it's fire.

Smell. Everybody smell. You smell fire.

Okay, don't panic. Whatever you do, don't panic. Don't nobody panic.

Stop.

Everybody drop.

that bump was. I just rolled over Wacom.

You all right, Wacom?

You okay?

Save your brother's life.

London, you just don't burn up? You're not gonna get down here?

Not in my favorite outfit.

So you would rather save your favorite outfit than save your life?

Uh, yeah. If I died, what would I wear?

Tell me that.

A casket. Come on. Look, I got to show you something here.

Come here.

Now, the next thing you need is you need a change of clothes.

This is what I wear.

Bam! Look at that thing over there. Look at it whistle.

It's glow -in -the -dark so people can see through the fire.

After a good fire, there's going to be news and interviews.

So I put on this so I can be sharp. Bam! Look at that thing. Plus it's flame

retarded.

Come on, London. You're going to love it.

Isn't it great?

Oh, uh, if by great you mean exactly the same, then yeah.

Cora. You had a Cora?

Cora!

Yes?

Is everything okay?

No, Cora, it's not okay.

You changed everything.

No, you changed everything.

I just changed everything back the way it should be.

Well, you could have at least asked me first.

Why? You didn't ask before you changed everything.

Cora, I didn't change anything. I improved it. That's a matter of opinion.

Well, I... Obviously, no one's opinion counts around here but yours.

I welcome all opinions if they're smart.

Did you just call me stupid?

I'm not in it. Don't ask me nothing. I'm going to the fights, and I'm not in

none of that.

No, I just called your decorating ideas stupid.

Cora, what's gotten into you? Me?

You're the one coming in here trying to take over everything.

Cora, I am not trying to take over.

Okay, look, sometimes I feel invisible. Nothing around here says me.

spruce up the living room a little. Without asking.

That was so disrespectful of you. What if I came into your house and spruced up

the place without asking?

a whole bunch of everything.

Wait a minute. I'll put some in your tooth. I'm doing it. Get back. I'm doing

it. Well, do it, Carver. You're making me nervous. Carver, your food's so good,

I don't even... You don't even have to cook it. I can just eat your stuff raw.

Put that in there? Yes, Carver. Put some of this in there.

Mr. Brown, wait a minute. You're making a mess.

Don't step in there, Carver.

No, you can't. You don't dump cook. Get back. Yeah, dump that on there. Ooh,

Carver, it just looks so good.

It smells good. You smell it? Yeah, it smells smothered, exhausted, and passed

out, Carver.

You gonna put some blackened season on it? I don't know that, baby. Yes, I like

it when you... Oh, no, no, no, no. No, you're not.

No, you're not.

We came to an agreement that I cook every other day.

That's starting today?

Yes, I'm cooking dinner today.

Okay, Cora, what am I supposed to do with this famine? Well, you gonna do

Cora, you better not say that. You're a Christian enough. You don't cuss in

front of your daddy. What? I wasn't finna cuss. I was only gonna say you

have two cooks in the kitchen.

That's right.

Cora did tell me you couldn't cook. She said that girl couldn't boil a good pot

of water.

That's fine.

That's cool.

You know, because I will just fix my salmon for tomorrow.

Well, that's great. You sure can.

Where's the aluminum pan?

Oh, I'm using that for my smothered chicken.

Well, I guess I'll use a glass one. I'm using that for my macaroni. Okay, well,

I'll take the pressure.

Zucchini. What about the biscuits?

Cora, can I at least...

cooking? You having the last supper?

Can I at least use the spatula? No, ma 'am, I'm using the spatula.

Cora, what can I use?

Oh, I have something just for you.

Here you go.

Cora, I can't fit salmonella in this pan.

I'll just use foil.

I need the foil for my... Let this go. Oh, Lana, you're just in

time. car and sasha been arguing over who's gonna cook and who's not gonna

you know what i saw a fight like this one time down at the boutique with two

women going at it like cats and dogs what happened well i pushed her over and

said mom get off my boot i need this

cook with this tiny piece of foil.

You can't cook, period.

Oh, it's on.

Oh, it's on, baby. Come on, Barbara, you just bruised that girl's iniquity.

Everybody ready for some other chicken?

It's a special recipe.

I can't.

Me too.

Yeah, me three.

Where did this pizza come from?

Sasha ordered it for us.

Thank you, Sasha.

Who just ordered pizza when you know I cook dinner? Oh, Cora.

You were taking so long with your smothered chicken that I decided to feed

family.

Somebody's going to eat this chicken.

Yeah, somebody's going to eat this chicken. Do you hear me? Yeah, you're

to eat this chicken tonight.

Cora, let's go.

Yeah, somebody's going to eat the chicken. I mean right now.

Yeah, eat that chicken. Well, Carmen, you ain't got to treat us like we did.

Well, I want you to get in there. I done sweat over there. You're going to come

in here and eat pizza. You know how it was cooked.

How dare you?

I had

no idea eating that much could wear you out.

It can when you have pizza and smothered chicken.

Oh, no.

I wind up having some smothered pizza after a while.

I'm a bust.

Hey, is there a fire?

Smells like smoke.

Smells like it's coming from the kitchen. Yeah.

What? Did you say fire?

Yeah. This is it, cold brown!

I'm sorry about being a pain.

Look, I'm just trying to find my place in here.

You're not being a pain, and you have a place here.

I know that, but sometimes I feel like I'm raising my family in somebody else's

home. We're all family. I know that, Cora, but, I mean, look around here.

Nothing represents me, Will, the kids.

Well, maybe I can let you decorate.

Just stay away from those bright colors. You know, it clashes with Mr. Brown.

It's not just about decorating.

It's about feeling at home.

Well, I thought you were coming in here trying to take over.

So I did. I got a little threatened.

Well, maybe, you know, this house, this is where I found my place.

So maybe I can back up just a little.

All right. Thank you, Cora.

Look, I'm sorry.

No, I'm sorry.

I said some pretty mean things to you. Oh, did you now?

What? Oh, I welcome all opinions as long as they're smart.

You remember that? Of course I do.

But you were wrong for ordering pizza when you know I was slaving over a hot

stove. Okay, look who's talking.

You're the one that stole all the pans and gave me that little tiny piece of

foil. That was class. No, that was tri -point.

Who are you? Well,

okay, I am a child of God.

Forgive me, Lord.

But I am a child of my deals as well.

I get it, honest.

Cora.

I love you. I love you, too.

Oh, Cora, you done choked yourself.

Back up, back up. Mr. Brown.

I'm sick of this.

I'm talking, Cora, and y 'all don't interrupt me.

Now I'm sick of this. Y 'all family, back up and get to your corners. Next

thing, y 'all will be scratching each other's eyes. and pulling weave out of

each other's hair. Listen, boy, I'm not talking to you and I'm not talking to

you. I'm talking to both of y 'all.

Now listen to what I'm saying.

What are you saying? Barbara, if you say something else.

Something else. Barbara, I started to spank your lips. Be quiet.

Now look, we family and y 'all gonna get along whether you like it or not.

We are.

Make me say something else.

spindles off and i'll wag your tail out now i'm sick of this stuff around here

that's right sometimes men we got to pull ourselves together so we women can

some ass right