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Okay, bye -bye, Sister Charlotte.
Thank you so much.
Oh, that is so sad.
What happened, Cora?
Sister Betty died and she didn't have a will.
And her children were left with nothing. That's why it's so good to prepare your
home going. It makes it so much easier on the family.
Hey, Brown. Hey.
Hey, Mr. Brown. Do you have a will?
Cora, you know we got a will.
He your cousin?
Duh. Mr.
Brown? Not that kind of will.
Will. It ensures that folk get what you want when you go over yonder.
Well, wouldn't that happen to me if anybody want anything?
They can come over yonder and get it.
But except for you, Edna, I'm not going down that low. You'd be down there by
yourself.
We all have to prepare for heaven.
What the devil? Is the devil trying to preach?
You know, everybody preaching heaven ain't going.
She done been kicked out twice already.
Got to the gate. Nope.
You ready to go to heaven. You prepared?
I can't confess all your sins. Hey, look, you don't have enough time, Brown.
talking about going way back to the first grade.
Oh, you a sinner.
I'm going online to look up some information for you about wheels, Mr.
okay? Oh, Cora, wheels are for rich people.
You know how, like, black people do after the funeral.
Lord, we better do.
Lord, they don't...
to get back to the house.
That's my shirt. Mama left me that shirt. No, girl, that's my shoe. Give me
shoe. Give me my shirt. I'm a kid. You better get me out of here.
You better get that wheel because I'm about to have a heart attack.
Girl, when I go, I want y 'all to come back to the house and make a big old
circle and I want y 'all to just fight it out until y 'all bleeding and whoever
wins can take all my stuff.
his clothes.
Give me his boots.
Take my white shoes. You get to keep my boots though. Don't you give nobody my
boots.
He's feeling home.
And he's out of there. Good for him, Joaquin.
You keep playing like that, you're not going to need me anymore.
But we do make a good team though.
That's right.
Joaquin, baby, it's almost time for dinner. Why don't you get in there and
your hands, okay?
Okay. I'll be right back.
Okay.
Oh, Eddie, Eddie, thank you so much for helping Joaquin out. You don't know how
much this means to us. What are friends for? I enjoy it. Joaquin's a great kid.
I don't get to see my own kids since the divorce.
I'm so sorry about that.
You know, it's really unfair that they won't let you see your kids.
That's not what the judge said.
Anyway, it's just water under bread.
Well, if it matters, Joaquin thinks you're walk -on water.
Believe me, I don't.
So, how does it feel to be an infant mom?
Oh, that.
Yeah, um, to be honest, it can be a little overwhelming at times. These
they leave their clothes everywhere, they won't eat their vegetables, and are
they cranky in the morning?
Yeah.
Will's always been like that.
Coach Eddie, can you stay for dinner?
Oh, sorry, champ.
I gotta go home.
We're still going to the batting cage tomorrow before the game, right? You
Hey, uh, maybe I can come with you guys.
Nah, that's okay, Will.
You know, Coach Eddie, he's helping me with my batting stand.
You know, that whole trying to be good thing?
Maybe Sasha can take it.
Only if you clean your room.
Oh, that's funny? You got jokes.
You the pitcher, I'm the hitter. Hey, go ahead.
Colonel! Hey!
Don't stick up behind me like that! Do you have a death wish?
I could have crushed your head like a bag of potato chips!
Colonel! Colonel!
Can I try to ask you something in your private?
I beg your pardon?
Come on, I'm trying to ask you, do you have a will? Of course I do. See, I'm
letting the government put its greedy, grubby hands on my assets.
Well, I don't want the government's hands all over my assets either.
Mm -hmm. So having a will is good, then. Oh, having a will is a great thing.
See, I want to make sure my daughter is left here provided for.
Now, you got a will, don't you?
Yeah. No.
No? No.
Oh. you might as well throw Cora out in the street butt -naked and penniless.
Well, now, why you say that?
Because if you don't have a will, your estate could be tied up in the courts
years, and Cora could be left here homeless and broke.
Oh, she ain't got car work for the public school system, so she all right.
-hmm. Like I said, she could be left here homeless and broke.
Well, I need to get a will, then.
Mm -hmm.
Mr. Brown.
Huh? I found several forms.
Okay, what you got, Cora? Okay, on estate planning.
Uh -huh. Okay, a power of attorney. Okay, just don't explain. Just give it
him. Wait a minute now. Don't you want to read over it first?
No. Look over it. Uh -uh, Cora. I don't want you out on them streets, broke,
homeless, penniless, walking around with them short, short britches on, showing
your tail with your butt cheeks out. You're trying to sell your body and you
won't rock. I'll do anything.
I don't want you on that stuff, Cora.
You'll be stripping, trying to get food.
You'll have a sign, we'll strip for food. Mr.
Grant, thank you. I'm so glad you got this taken care of. Thank you, Cora.
I'm worried about you.
Yeah, Cora take care of me. See, that's my baby. Yeah, Brown.
You know, that was a big mistake.
I thought you said doing a will was good.
Of course it is, Brown.
But you can't let her know you have a will. See, my daughter don't know I have
will. Why not?
Because. I mean, she put me here in this rat hole of a retirement home.
Oh, no offense.
Some taken.
See, now, I don't know what she'd do if she knew I had a will.
I mean, you know money is the root of all evil.
No, no, no. The love of money is the root of all evil.
And Cobra don't have an evil bone in her body.
Mm -hmm. She wouldn't do nothing. Yeah, probably.
That was before she knew she was going to inherit all this.
Oh, wow, amazing.
Well, on the other hand, you might be all right.
Oh, yes, you know, I got quite the estate here. Yes, you do. Oh, look at
painting right here. This painting was crafted by hands.
Oh, look at this right here. This wallpaper was hung by the Mona Lisa.
Yes, Queen Elizabeth flew it in from Portugal.
Flew it in, huh? Yes, back in the early 1901s.
Do you know who this is on this picture?
Your cousin?
No, that's the real George Washington.
Is that right? The real George Washington? He's the first black
be foolish.
I'm not.
Oh, look, I got so much to give.
Do you like it?
Look at all of this.
Corbett's gonna be rich.
She might kill you off right quick with this.
You think so?
I know, sir. Wow, Cora wouldn't do that. She's valuable.
I done told Cora to stop leaving this thing in the middle of the floor.
could fall and break their neck and kill themselves.
She trying to kill me.
You think she trying to make me kick the bucket?
I'm just saying.
I don't want to die.
I don't know about that.
Joaquin.
Joaquin, come on, man. You ready?
Coach Eddie will be here any minute. We got to go.
Coming.
Look at you.
Looking like a champ.
All right.
Check this out. I'm going to show you something.
What in the world are you going to show me?
Look here. Why don't you start by just showing me the grip on your fastball?
All right.
Now let me show you something.
Take your thumb, put it right under there, right under the bottom of that
right there. You see that?
Okay? Take those four fingers, close them up a little bit.
Nice and tight. All right?
Throw a fastball like that, nobody will be able to hit you.
Cool. Why are you doing that?
Well, uh, that cool story goes with this.
When I was in college,
Oh, Joaquin, look at you, how handsome.
Baby. Oh, I need that camera.
Baby, I'm getting ready to tell my story. You're so cute.
Will, you're always telling that story. This is Joaquin's moment, right? I can't
get through the story because you're always interrupting.
Joaquin, okay, baby, I want you to go ahead and hit your picture stance, okay?
want you to give me a pose, right? Baby, get out of the way. I want this to be
cute. I'm trying to get my tutelage in the photo. Baby, could you stop talking
for one minute and a minute?
You ready?
Sure. All right, strike a pose, Joaquin.
Hey, what are you doing, man? Stop that, stop that, stop that.
Well, whenever Coach Eddie takes my picture, he tells me to take my shirt
He what?
Oh, shoot.
Man, he's going to be mad at me. That was supposed to be our secret.
Coach Eddie's here.
Hey, guys.
Joaquin, we got to make... Get a move on.
What's this about you taking pictures of Joaquin?
Oh, I was just taking pictures of his uniform.
Why are you so nervous, Eddie?
Because we're going to be late to the game.
These are the kids that are on the team, and these are the parents, okay?
If you have any questions, let us know.
Thank you.
I can't believe I trusted him.
Look, I've been really stupid.
You know, I've known Eddie since college, and I've never seen this.
Baby, baby, how were you supposed to know?
Put Joaquin in danger. That's all I can think about. No, baby, you didn't. You
were trying to protect him.
Honey, I can assure you that Eddie will not have the nerve to set foot in this
house again.
What happened to Coach Eddie?
Baby, Coach Eddie had to go away.
But what about the game?
Look, the game is canceled, okay?
Coach Eddie... Coach Eddie's not going to be coaching any kids anymore.
Why? Why not?
Sweetheart. Sweetheart, why don't you just have it? Are you okay?
I'm okay.
Joaquin.
Did Coach Eddie ever touch you?
What do you mean?
She means when... When he took the pictures of you.
Did he touch you in any way?
No.
Now, Joaquin, you don't have to be afraid, all right? You don't have to
anything.
It's okay.
Baby, look.
You remember we had that talk about good touch and bad touch?
Mm -hmm.
Can you tell me what you remember about that?
That nobody should touch my private parts.
Okay.
So, hey, so did Coach Eddie touch you like that?
Why do you guys have to keep asking me?
I want Coach Eddie to come back. Joaquin, I'm just trying... Joaquin.
Joaquin, I'm trying to ask you a question!
Joaquin! Baby, come here.
Stop. Stop.
Have you noticed how strange Mr. Brown has
been acting?
And what about that is different than any other date?
Oh, my Lord, it's out in the windowsills. They're everywhere.
Those are very hard to get rid of. Do we have any bug spray around here? I don't
know, but it's going to take some serious causing to kill them.
Poison is good, but it's too slow.
Poison.
Girl, you were right. They're trying to kill me. She planned with Edna to kill
me right now. Yeah, listen.
Why don't we set a trap?
Well, as long as I don't have to watch him die.
I do them all the time. You'll get used to it.
She doesn't care, Lola. What they think I am, a raccoon? They gonna put a trap
on me?
She a black willow.
Widow, widow.
I know just the person who could handle this.
Really?
Is it expensive?
No, no, he's cheap. Calls himself the exterminator. He's in and out, gets the
job done, doesn't leave a message. You never even know he was here.
Oh, Miss Edna, that sounds like one of your men.
Okay,
that's it, Colonel. If I die, evict Edna. She is out of here. They won't
pay no money to have nobody to kill me. They cheap.
Do you think the Colonel would help us?
You know we're going to need a man's help.
Well, would you?
Well, it all depends on how much they paying.
Just kidding.
Sort of.
Okay, now that's just a little secret between me and you, okay?
All right.
Well, it ain't gonna get me.
What's the door?
Mr. Brant!
Hey, Cora.
Hey, Mr. Brant. You must be starving. You haven't eaten all day.
No, no, no, no. Cora, I'm all right. I'm not hungry.
You're not?
your plate.
No, no, no. I can fix my own plate. I don't want nothing from here. Now, don't
be silly. Mr. Brown, I have a plate right here I made for you. How about a
muffin, Mr. Brown? I don't want that.
Yes, well, here. Now, look. Now, if you don't eat, you're gonna starve to death.
Death. Starve.
Carver, you ain't... Carver, you trying to kill me.
What you got in there, salmonella? No, this is a good plate. You got some of
that swine flu in there, Carver? Here, Mr. Brown. Carver, that's a pandemic.
Here, you trying to feed me pandemic, Carver?
I'm watching y 'all.
I'm watching both of y 'all.
I see what y 'all try. I see you. And I know what y 'all try to do, and y 'all
not going to do it. Y 'all not going to try to kill me up in my own house.
I'm not going to have it. Mr. Brown, you can't kill me. No weapon formed against
me shall prosper. And you're not going to do it. And I'm watching you. Just
me a reason.
Give me a reason. Give me a reason.
Coach, Eddie did something bad.
What did he do?
Well, you remember how he took those pictures of you without your shirt on?
Yeah.
Well, that was wrong, and he knew that was wrong.
But he said it was okay.
Well, it wasn't okay.
Are you mad at me?
No, no, no.
I'm not mad at you.
Look, he should have never done that, and he definitely should have never
you to keep that a secret.
But he said we're special friends.
Listen, adults don't keep secrets with little kids,
and friends don't hurt each other.
But he didn't hurt me. I know. No, Joaquin, but chances are he probably
have.
Now, look, I want you to be able to come to me and Sasha about anything, okay?
Okay.
Will?
Yeah? Could you show me that grip for the fastball again?
Sure, pal.
Imagine that's the plate, okay?
All right.
Take those two fingers, just like I told you before.
Oh, poor thing. Look at him. He must be exhausted.
Well, I can understand how that one brain cell running around by itself
make him tired.
Oh, poor thing.
Hadn't eaten all day. You're going to wake up starving.
He looks so uncomfortable. I want to get you a pillow.
I am not trying to kill him. You are lying. You are lying. I am not a liar.
Carver, you trying to run off with my money, my diamonds, my pearls, my furs.
You trying to kill me.
Where would you get some stupid idea like that from?
Um, good night, everybody.
and especially you. Daddy, what is wrong with you?
Well, what was all the stuff about?
Poison. Get a rat trap.
We gonna kill him. Y 'all couldn't even get a decent bear. Somebody kill me. At
least you kill me. Get somebody expensive.
Don't get no cheap killer. You ain't gonna kill me, right?
Mr. Brown, you behind a professional for the ant.
You trying to kill your auntie?
I thought you was trying to send me where my daddy was.
Go, Mr.
Brown. I'm not trying to send you away. I don't want to lose you. I want you to
be here for a very long time.
You're my daddy.
I just want to make sure all your wishes were carried out when you're gone.
Well, how do you know I'm going to be gone first, Cora? I don't know, but just
in case, everything is in order.
Cora, I thought you was trying to kill me.
I said, Cora trying to kill me. I looked at you. I said, Cora, you a murderer.
I'm serious.
Cora, can you do your daddy a favor?
Yes, what is it? Sure.
Can you fix me a plate?
Oh, I would love to. Yeah, my stomach just bit my liver.
Oh, no.
Oh, Cora.
Yeah. When you fix my plate, give me another favor.
Yeah, what is it? You taste it first.
Yeah, I don't know you like it.
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