Original subtitles

Okay, place your orders now. I'm about to go to the crab place.

Oh. What you got? What you got?

Uh, I want the salmon croquette. Okay, salmon croquette. One order of salmon

croquette is $10.

Well, that sounds good. I think I'll have the same, mister. Okay, of course.

were having the same thing. That'll be $14 .95.

Well, I think I'll have the crab legs.

Crabs? Yeah.

You sure?

Oh, yeah.

It's going to be hard for you to buy shoes with all them legs.

You had the shoes, you're going to be what?

Oh, my God.

Mr. Brown, I don't see you writing anything down. Are you going to make me

remember all this?

Carver, you know your daddy got a laparoscopic memory.

Oh, Mr. Brown, can I have an order of those hush puppies?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaking of hush, what you need, Edna?

I want hot wings.

You know the crab place don't have hot wings. All they have is seafood.

I have a tape for hot wings.

Well, if you get hot wings today, they're going to have to fly over here

themselves.

Fine.

I'll get it myself.

Well, good. You're the only one who want them.

Wait a minute. Come think of them. Let me see. Let me see that menu. I think I

may change my mind.

Hot wings. I think I want a number three.

Oh, with hot wings. Oh, large wings.

Curry, you want a number three and a number two?

You want a number five?

No, Mr. Brown.

I want a number three with hot wings and a pep on the side. Well, they have

curly fries.

Count me in. Count me in. Number three. Number three. Yeah.

Now, because of you, I got to go to two places, Edna. No, no, no, Mr. Brown.

Maybe not. Look, I'll take the number four with a lemonade.

Sasha, don't fall for peer pressure. Be an individual. Do your thing.

Mr. Brown, I am an individual.

And I said I want some hot wings, okay?

Well, good. Don't get your last night. Wait a minute now. You sure you're going

to remember everything?

3, 2, 1.

Raekwon, you are the father. I knew it. I knew it. I knew it. He got a big head

just like that.

Now the whole world knows she's promiscuous.

Seven baby daddies. And she only has four kids.

I don't see how y 'all can watch that mess and why these kids get on that show

is beyond me. Oh, my Lord.

His head does look like his baby daddy.

We interrupt this program to bring you a breaking story.

Police and paramedics are on the scene of a shooting at the corner of Peachtree

and Peabody. Oh, that's where Mr. Brown went to get our food. Oh, don't worry,

Cora. He'd have been the first to run out the door.

The victim was reportedly shot while running out the door.

Oh, I hope Mr. Brown is okay.

I hope my curly fries are okay.

Paramedics are still trying to catch up to the shooting victim.

Look, that's our neighborhood.

Hey, that's our neighbor's house.

Good Lord.

What? They really need to cut their grass.

I'd have pissed him.

Shot me on!

Nephew!

Oh, Cobran, that's just a graze.

That's a serious wound. I'm the one shot.

It don't hurt you because you're not shot.

It's not that serious. It's like the poison out of a nephew.

All right, get the needle ready. 10 cc. Am I turning ashy?

Wait, what the devil y 'all need a needle for? Well, I got to numb your

you won't feel the stitches.

Can you numb it before you numb it?

You got it? Yeah.

Wait, wait, wait!

cotton swab.

I'm going into a coma.

That was

the needle.

Your daddy's gone.

You're losing me.

I'm gone.

I'm back. Wait a minute.

You're okay, everybody.

Uncle Brown's going to be okay. Miss Edna, are you okay?

No. If it wasn't for me, he wouldn't have gone down there. No, it's not your

fault, Miss Edna.

Yes, it is. No, no, no.

I'm the one went down there to get that stuff because you wanted me to get that.

You want an extra sauce, I got shot in the butt. Because of you, it's all on

your head. My respiration.

I've been to myself.

Here, Edna. Empty that.

Here.

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Edna, what about dinner?

The chicken's in the oven.

Brown. Chicken again?

Can you feed me through a tube?

That man is driving me crazy.

Why are you running around for that idiot?

I'm not running around for him.

I have a date.

I'm trying to get there before the little blue pill wears off.

You'll spoil your dinner.

Isn't your date going to feed you? I'm not going there for food.

Do you think you're a little too old to be gallivanting around like this? Who do

you think you are, Pam Grill?

Sounds like someone's a little jealous.

Haven't been out for active duty in a while, huh?

My love life is none of your business.

Your love life is out of business.

be the one man in America who hasn't.

Where you been?

I could have died right here.

Look, you could have helped yourself.

Will said you can get up anytime you're ready.

Oh, what does Will know? Is he a doctor?

I'm just not emotionally ready to take that first step yet.

You know, my wound is super.

Superficial, Brown.

What? Superficial.

That's worse than I thought it was.

What is going on down here? What is it? Abby just told me my wound is

superstitious, Cora. I said superficial.

Mr. Brown, that means it's just equivalent to a little boo -boo. But,

can never be too careful. Because my cousin Charlie went to the hospital.

They took a scan on him and said, your wound is super, super fishy.

And they sent him home, and he was dead before he made it to the house. Mr.

Brown, he got hit by a bus.

That's my point.

Super fishy wounds can cause bus accidents.

Brown, I'm trying to get some sleep.

You know what they call men like you in the Marines?

What? Missing.

He making my pressure go up.

Let him rest, please. Let him rest. Edna, Edna, it looks like you're the one

that needs some rest.

Yes, you look tired, Mr. Edna. You look bad.

Edna, you look bad.

Mr. Brown!

I can't rest because I got shot going to the wing store.

Can you swing?

All right, I won't rest.

Don't rest in. You look bad.

Get my crossword puzzle.

Don't listen to him. Don't listen to him.

Harry, get me my puzzle.

I like to do puzzles. Here you go.

Thank you, Edna. But that's not the one. Give me the one with the big letters.

Mr. Brown.

The Bible says, asking it shall be given unto you.

Large print.

She gave it unto me.

No, no, the Bible large print. I need Bible stories.

I got the one with the Bible printed.

Thank you, Edna. You're so sweet.

May the Lord bless you.

Miss Edna, are you okay?

Are you okay?

Miss Edna?

Hi. Are you sure?

Sit down, sit down.

Miss Edna! Miss Edna!

Just take it easy, Edna.

Why are you two handling me like I'm French? Well, it's just a precaution.

You've got to take care of yourself.

So what do the doctors say?

Oh, it's nothing, Ed Coram.

This poor woman almost had a heart attack. That's what happened. Yeah, she

have had a heart attack, but she has a heart arrhythmia.

Really? What is that?

Well, a heart arrhythmia is an irregular heartbeat.

She's fine, but she knows she needs to make some changes in her lifestyle.

My lifestyle's fine.

Yeah, Miss Anna, but your heart isn't.

Wait a minute.

Where's Brown?

Oh, Brown, he's gone.

Gone?

Yeah. Oh, when?

It was sudden.

Well... He was laying there for one minute, and then the next minute he took

deep breath, and then he got up and went to the kitchen.

So he's back to normal.

I wouldn't say normal.

Oh, Edna, Edna.

I'm good to see you, all right?

No, she's not all right. Because you ran this poor woman yesterday so much, she

almost had a myocardial infarction.

I hope she said excuse me.

That's a heart attack, you idiot.

Oh, I'm sorry, Edna. Oh, it's fine, it's fine, Ralph.

What are you doing in that wheelchair like that?

Well, you know I got a cat bust in my... As I was trying to explain to you, Miss

Edna, you need to change your lifestyle. You're not 17 anymore.

When I was 17, I was a lot worse.

But you know, the number one cause of heart attack in black women is

Oh, that's you, Edna.

What is that fool talking about?

Edna, Edna, you are ignorant.

You be lying down, Brown.

I woke up this morning and I looked myself in the mirror and I said, Seth?

My self said, hmm? I said, I gotta take care of Edna.

Because part of this is my fault.

I just feel responsible, so I'm going to be right here by your side until you

get better.

Oh, joy.

I'm going to be right here under your nose, just like your mustache.

It's a brand.

I'm trying to help you help yourself.

Get out of my way.

No, no.

Where are you going anyway?

If you must know, I'm going to the library.

You a liar. You know you're not going to no library.

Get out of my way before I'm late.

Well, that's why I won't get out your way, so you won't be the late Edna

Have it your way.

I'm going to my room, and I'm going to read a book.

Well, you go on and read a book.

ain't one of them nasty books you got hid under your bed.

Fine.

Ah!

How'd you do that?

The wheels are faster than I.

Well, how can I give you $20?

Yeah, okay, give me $20. Good.

I knew we could work something out.

Did you lactate on this?

Thank you. You're welcome.

Now, don't wait up.

I'm not going to have to. Why not? Because you're not going nowhere. Brown,

gave you 20 bucks.

Well, that's a small price to pay for me saving your life.

You are impossible.

And don't you forget that.

I'm going to keep you alive if it kills you.

Or kill me.

Or kill both of us.

What's that?

The instructions.

You don't mean no instructions?

I'm a brown, baby. We know how to do this thing. Barbecuing is our thing.

Plus, I already figured it out just by looking at the pictures.

But you know what?

I don't know what these people are doing. They got all these spare parts in

here. Baby, this thing does not say anything about spare parts.

Ah, look at you two.

How was that walk?

Well, it was slow and easy.

Yeah, until the Johnson's dog got after us, the pit bull.

Then it turned into a wind sprint.

Cora went straight flojo.

Flojo? Yeah.

Why didn't y 'all take Miss Edna with you? She didn't want to go. Oh, that

stubborn old woman.

You know, she's not going to be satisfied until she's six feet under.

really chaps my high.

Oh, Colonel, she says she'll go when she's ready.

Well, I'm going in. It's hot out here, and I don't want my perm to sweat out.

Everyone thinks they have so much time.

You know how many people drop dead before they start working out?

Way more than there should be.

But you know what?

That's why we're going to start eating a little healthier around here.

Who's going to be doing the cooking?

You. I mean, you know, we're going to be eating healthy, but you and Cora are

going to be doing the cooking. Mm -hmm, that's what I thought.

Babe, you mind if I talk to Colonel alone for a little while?

Oh, yeah, sure.

Okay, I'll go check on Miss Edna. Okay.

So, uh, how you doing, Colonel? You feeling okay? Oh, I'm fit as a fiddle.

There's more than I can say about Edna.

Yeah, this Edna thing really seems to be affecting you.

Well, I lost so many friends in the Marines, and so many of us check out

we don't take care of ourselves.

Is that what this is about, or is it a little bit more personal?

I don't know what you're talking about.

Yeah, I think you do.

I'm talking about Ms. Edna.

Crazy old woman carrying on like that.

She won't listen to her body, won't listen to her doctor.

It's like she's her own worst enemy.

Maybe she'll listen if it came from a friend who cares about her more than she

knows. It's hard -headed.

I agree.

Well, Colonel, like you mentioned, a lot of people go through life...

Thinking tomorrow is promised.

It might not be.

So, what are you waiting for?

Drop

it

right there.

Get away from the real.

Would you leave me alone, Brown?

Edna, a woman in your condition should only be eating fruit and vegetables.

you leave me alone?

Edna, if you eat them ribs, you'll be dead by morning. I'm telling you. You

ribs? Well, I eat ribs in modulation.

I'm telling you, I work out three days a week.

This body right here ain't no accident I have you today.

I work out and I work in. Look at that.

Wham! Look at that. See how that thing happened? Like, wham!

Look at that, Edna. You ain't ready for this.

You mind if I talk to Edna alone?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Make sure she keep her hands where you can see them.

Colonel, can you get me a ride out?

Oh, sure.

You here to lecture me, too?

No, I'm not here to lecture you. You're a grown woman. You can do as you see

fit. Well, finally someone who sees things my way.

But can you be that selfish?

What are you talking about? There are a lot of people here that really care

about you.

You're just trying to make an old woman happy. What old woman?

Edna, when I look at you, I see a smart and funny and vibrant woman.

You forgot.

Sexy. No, no, no, no. I didn't forget it.

But you need to take better care of yourself.

Since when have you become the poster boy for heart health?

Since I suffered my third heart attack three years ago.

Oh.

I mean, what's the difference?

Time gets everybody, right?

It does.

But I'm giving it a run for its money.

And I'd like for you to be around.

You better be careful, Colonel.

You're beginning to sound like someone who actually cares about me.

Well, I said I'm making my point clear.

Carry on.

Come on, nephew! All right, you ready? Yeah. All right, toughen up.

All right.

All right.

Nephew, be careful because I had some chili. All right.

All right.

Easy. Be still.

Oh, Cobra.

He about to do some surgery. Come here.

Cobra, are you eating ribs?

Mm -mm.

You a liar. Give me a bite of them ribs.

Give me something to bite down on so I can be ready.

Here you go.

Okay. Are you ready, nephew?

All right. I'm ready.

Wait. Hold on.

I'm letting that pass. There we go.

You ready?

All right. You ready?

Okay. Wait, wait. On count. Count. All right. Backwards from three. Okay.

All right.

Three, two.