Original subtitles

You've got to admit that these chairs are so much better.

I miss the old chairs.

Are you kidding me? I can see you. You're like eye level now. Oh my god. I

the levels though.

Oh my god. These are so much better.

I do like the pillows.

Right? The cushy things? The cushy things are really cushy. They're good.

I like those.

You did good, kid.

You did good, kid.

Hey, you know what?

I'm thinking of becoming a slut.

What? Yeah, like a hardcore nympho girl just knows what she wants, you know?

Okay, but, like, why?

Okay, you know Brad.

Oh, Brad, the server who always has the toothpick in his mouth? Yes, yeah, yes,

yes. Well, okay, to start it out, you know that off -color shirt that he wears

to work? Oh, my God, it looks like a salmon dyed on a white shirt or

Yeah, yeah.

I had to ask him. I'm like, um, dude, is that a laundry fuck up or did you buy

it like that? Thank God someone called him out on that. Good job.

Yeah. And so like, um, uh, we started talking about laundry and it just so

happened that like we do laundry in the same place.

So you're like laundry buddy.

Right. Wow.

That's amazing.

Okay. All right. Okay.

But he's not picking up on it that I kind of like him and stuff. Hmm. Hmm.

So, I was thinking of being, like, just straight up, no games, like, wanna fuck.

Just saying it out loud, like, Brad, wanna fuck?

Right on!

Okay, I'm totally on board with this! Okay, so, like, when do you guys work

together next? Or do laundry or whatever?

I don't know, but the thing is, I'm thinking, like, what about my life,

a slut? You know, then I'm gonna be a slut, and people are gonna know about

And, like, what are the ramifications of being a slut?

Oh, yeah.

There's got to be rams to this, you know? Like, how does a slut do life? You

know, like, what are the damages?

Yeah, like, what's their damage? What's a slut's damage?

I feel like we've got to, like, think this through. We've got to, like,

it like a scientific... Oh, we should make a chart. Let's make a chart.

Yeah, yeah. That's such a good idea.

Yay! Oh, my God.

All right, the pros and the cons.

Of becoming a slut. Of becoming a slut. This is genius.

Awesome. Oh, I just thought of a pro.

Getting laid.

Getting laid. Well, yeah.

Yeah. But like, not just like getting laid, but getting laid like whenever you

want. Whatever. Like, you don't have to. I mean, you've got a book or something.

You've got people lined up. You're a slut. It's like a touch of a button.

Whenever you want. So not just getting laid, but getting laid whenever you

Whenever. Or, like, getting to the top of lines at, like, clubs and stuff like

that. Oh, yeah. Like, if you're a slut, you get treated, like, so well at a

club. Yeah.

Nightclub perks.

The doormen, they just think she's down. She's cool. Yeah. Get her.

Perfect.

That's a good pro. That's a really good pro.

Oh, yeah. Like, you're hot shit.

In general, people perceive you as, oh, she's hot. She's cool. You're desired by

men. So being hot?

Yeah.

Yeah. These are great pros.

Hang on, there's a con.

What? Guys, you're sleazy.

Once you're hot, you're always being sleazed on.

Oh, man.

Yeah. You're so sleazy. Yeah, once you're putting it out there like that.

And you get, like, weirdos. Like, you don't get to choose who you're

Like, there's just, like, these, like, weird man creatures that, like, surface.

And you're like, how are you a person? You're disgusting.

Right. So, in a bad way. Bad way.

Sleazy in a bad way. Okay, capital letters.

Oh, all caps.

Yeah. Underlines. Yeah.

So that's a bad con. Oh, and, like, you're sort of disrespected. Like,

don't respect you. You become, like, a skank. Yep. Like, nobody cares what,

like, a skank thinks. Yeah. You're just skanking.

Skankification.

Skankification. Write that one down. That's a con.

But you know what? Not all... Not all sluts are not respected. There are some

sluts who make it all work, who people love. There's going to be, like, some

nice, famous sluts. Nice... Yeah. Night slut.

Marilyn Monroe.

Wasn't she, like, a slut? Like, she slept around Hollywood? Oh, yeah. No,

Marilyn Monroe was, like, a total hoebag.

There you go. Like, a complete whore. And the people loved her. Oh, yeah. She

was nice. Everyone loved her. Everybody loved her. We still love her, you know?

So what makes that... She's dead.

That's right. She's dead. Oh, God. I can't believe I never thought of that.

That's what it is. Once you die, it legitimizes all that crazy shit that you

in your life. Right. So being a dead slut is legit.

Yes. Oh, it's like the Van Gogh thing, right? I mean, like, when he cut off his

ears? Yes. Like, when he was alive, he was, like, a total nutjob, but as soon

he died, he was cool. Everyone was like, oh, my God, what a genius. Like, we

were wrong, you know? Yeah, we were wrong. But, like, during his lifetime,

they're like, oh, judgy, judgy, judgy. So right.

Man, I don't want you to have to die for it to be okay for you to be a slut.

That's crazy.

I don't want to die. Don't die.

No, I'm not going to die.

Fuck it. I'm just going to be, like...

Go up to Brad and just be like, wanna fuck?

Who cares?

Yeah! Who cares?

Slippery.