Original subtitles

Previously on J -Pod.

Email from Gordina.

Steve's just been fired.

You will nurture new life.

I'm Freedom.

Carol.

I'm gonna be the one who makes men out of John Doe.

It was my idea the first time we sent somebody off to China. She was becoming

unhinged. It was like a stalker thing, day and night. She? You're the only

person I've ever loved or wanted, needed. Carol, please.

Have it's ever a moment for Carol's mind to sit.

Leave.

Impressive. You look like you're actually working.

I am preparing a new SpriteQuest demo.

Thank you. And you look very nice today.

Aw, nice and smart.

I just heard from the Lit English Academia College today. My high school

equivalency diploma came through, and here's the printout. Oh, Caitlin, that's

great.

And I owe it all to you.

Oh, yeah.

Now move your hand down to the left.

Between you two and John Doe and Bree hooking up, I'm going to save a bundle

my internet porn.

Cowboy, what are you doing over there?

This, my little friend, is me.

Nurturing life.

A complete ecosystem, no less.

Venus fly traps?

Tarantulas and scorpions.

Wow.

Cowboy, I never really saw you as the nurturing type.

Check this out.

My Food King fortune cookie.

You will nurture new life.

You've got to be kidding me. You made this because of a fortune cookie?

Correction, three exact same fortunes from three different fortune cookies.

Thank you very much.

I have created my own circle of life.

And to them, I am a god.

A very cowboy circle of life.

You gonna keep the scorpions out of smoke?

Lovebird, six o 'clock.

Yes, people, it is true. John Doe is now a man.

Hey, guys. What has two thumbs and just lost his virginity last night? This guy.

Yes. All right.

Huh? Okay, okay. Well, uh... Hey, Ethan, how goes that new demo? Good.

I've inserted Cowboy's new coding. Now I just need to load in Bree's mo -cap

sequences, your environments, and Caitlin's character revisions.

Creepy things!

Easy. Guys, if we can prove to corporate that we can work on our own, we might

not get saddled with another whacked -out boss.

Works for me. Human Resources has done a pretty lousy job picking management for

us so far.

Um, Gordina.

Caitlin.

Hi. Mr. Parrish would like to see you.

Now.

Chop -chop.

Yes, sir. Uh, ma 'am.

Steve, if you're looking for money or heroin, I don't have either.

Ethan, it's your dad. I need you over at the house right away.

Dad, what are you doing with Steve's cell phone? My battery's dead. Rough

Long story. Just get here.

No, no, Dad, this is one time you're going to have to tell me what the

is before I come over.

I think I killed Steve.

Oh, no, no.

Yes.

Oh, Dad.

Oh, my God, he's dead.

He's really dead.

Very dead.

Have you called 911?

Are you nuts?

No, no, I'm the prime suspect here. I was jealous of his friendship with your

mom. I have no alibi.

Dad, you have to call the police. You just killed a man.

I don't know for sure. I said I might have killed them. I don't know. I had a

lot of rum and Gatorade last night.

You don't remember?

What? Dad, a man is dead and you don't remember? What kind of an excuse is

Well, it's the only one I've got. Now, let's get him inside.

Wait a minute, Dad.

Mom's your alibi. Where's Mom?

She left me, Ethan.

She what?

Why? Well, I told her stuff, like Steve's kidnapping that little fling

Ellen. You told her that stuff, Dad? Are you crazy?

You know how Mom feels about feelings?

You never tell anyone anything. It always blows up in your face. Yeah,

apparently. Go.

Where did she go?

I don't know. I went to the kitchen for some ice. I came back. She was gone.

Ice?

Dad, what do you remember?

Well, I remember that your mother left, so I got smashed. I came up to clean up

the trash. I found him, called you. What am I going to do?

I don't know.

Did you call Cam?

No, Cam's in Hong Kong with that fragrance blonde. I don't want to go to

okay?

Of course we'll cover for you.

Later.

What's up?

That was Ethan.

His mom walked out on his dad.

No.

Where'd she go?

He doesn't know.

But I do.

She called me yesterday to ask for my mother's phone number. Why would Martha

Stewart want to go to a butchered -out lesbian commune? That time they met

I saw a spark.

Yeah, but I doubt it caught fire.

Call me crazy, but Carol likes men. You don't understand. This is my mother.

She's nicknamed the Transformer.

Carol Jarlowski is the most heterosexual woman on the planet.

She's unflippable. There's no way.

You want to bet?

Sure. What are your terms?

If I'm right, you let me go to fifth base with you.

Okay.

But if I'm right, I get to go to fifth base with you.

Fellow commune members, I've spoken to the midwife, we've had our fertility

meditation, and it turns out that with the coming of the full moon and our

unparalleled co -ovulation, now is the perfect time to conceive.

Our bodies, ourselves.

But more on that shortly. Right now, I want to hand the talking conch to our

newest member, Carol.

Hello. Hi, Carol.

Thank you for being here.

Your uniqueness completes our circle of femininity, equality, and Mother Moon.

Thank you.

Well...

My husband betrayed me.

My sons, they're men now. They just completely take me for granted like I'm

sandwich -making, stain -removing robot.

And I've recently laid two male friends to rest.

You know, I almost forgave my husband.

But do you know what he did in the middle of one of the most gut

dramatic moments we have ever had?

He went into the kitchen for more ice cubes for his drink.

And I thought to myself, men, men, men!

But then I remembered meeting Freedom and how

amazingly strong and yet gentle she was.

And I wondered, well, maybe life would be better with no men in it.

So, I just thank you all.

Well, this little chat has been lovely, but, oh, a little hard in the knees.

Muscle tone. I think I'm just going to stretch my legs a little bit. Oh, I'll

come with you, Carol.

How did I do? You were terrific.

Trying to go for my heart. I think the goddess has got that.

Caitlin Joyce.

Hello, Mr. Parrish.

Hello.

Caitlin, I'll cut to the chase.

Steve was a train wreck, Alistair was a car crash.

And Sprite Quest was in the toilet.

That title is way behind schedule.

Look, I can assure you that we have been doing our best, but it's been really

hard with all the new bosses and the constant changes.

Caitlin, relax.

You're in.

Neotronic Arts prefers to hire from within. Now that you have your high

diploma, we can promote you.

You've shown the most promise of all the new recruits. Not to mention the

experience you bring to us.

Me? Really?

Oh, don't be so modest. I told him that you worked at Apple.

Your savoir -faire and enthusiasm is just what J -Pod needs to get

back on track.

So, what do you say?

you would be running J -Pod.

Yeah, over there on that couch.

This dump is perfect.

It's like an outdoor crack house.

This place is like a 13th century on drugs.

Yeah, well, I'm going to stick this needle in his arm.

No, Dad, we can't do this. This is a bad idea.

In his neck, doesn't matter. No, look.

We can't just leave him here.

Those rats will chew out his eyes.

Somebody's going to steal his shoes and some hobo will hawk a loogie on him. It

isn't right.

Yeah, well, what is the right way to dispose of a body, my boy? Come on, jump

into the real world with me, will you?

Steve's death has to make sense to the police, and this will work. No,

everything about this is wrong. The body has obviously been moved, his wounds

are inconsistent with overdose, and any pathologist will know that that needle

was injected post -mortem. He's a junkie. Who's going to care?

His son, Connor, will care.

Ethan.

Ethan, come on.

You'll always remember his dad as a junkie who died in some stinking pile of

trash.

Connor cannot live the rest of his life thinking the worst of his father.

Nothing is more devastating than being disappointed in your old man.

Bingo. Oh, you pushed the old guilt button with that one, didn't you?

Dad, what is wrong with you? Oh, smart now.

If you haven't noticed, we're in a messy situation here. Where'd you get the

idea that life was just some magical bowl of cherries, some schmaltzy

card? Well, it's not. It's disgusting.

It's a filthy, nasty place full of danger and crazy people.

Now, why are you guilting me out? You should be helping me out. If this was

mother trying to drag a dead body around, you probably wouldn't be such a

in the ass.

You have a point.

Okay, fine, Mr. Six Feet Under.

Let's drag his body back to the house. We'll come up with a plan B.

Oh, I definitely love the flyers.

Thanks.

We're all set.

Got a space reserved on the first ferry out tomorrow morning.

Oh, cool.

Where are you guys going?

I think Ethan's mom went to my mother's lesbian commune off the coast.

Yes, and John Doe here wants to go and talk some sense into her, so we won't be

coming in tomorrow. The Jarlouski family is the closest one to normal that I

know. It's the complete opposite of everything I ever had. I have to help

Shouldn't Ethan be doing this?

No, I have to do this. I'm the one that gave Mrs. Jarlouski the info she needed

to leave.

Everyone underestimates my mother's powers.

Besides, our game sequence needs to render overnight.

The ferry ride over should be fun.

Hey, I wonder if there's a mile -high equivalent for the boat.

Hi, guys.

Do you know where Ethan is? I really need to talk to him.

Weird news.

Actually, his mom left his dad, so he's handling the follow -up. What? Is he all

right? How is he taking it?

We haven't heard from him yet.

You've reached the all -powerful Ethan Jarlowski message system. State your

business. Ethan, uh...

I just heard. I'm so sorry. If there's anything you need, just call me if you

need to talk or anything.

Just call.

Yes, Dad, I'm trying to figure something out.

No, I'm not sitting around on my lazy ass playing video games.

Yeah, well, leaving Steve in the dump was not an option.

Fine. I'll come up with something.

Yes, I promise I will. Okay, goodbye.

Caitlin. Hey.

You didn't answer my messages.

I heard your mom left. I'm so sorry.

Yeah, it's weird.

It's weird, you know, but what's up with you? How was your day?

Actually, I've got something kind of big on my plate, and I'd really like to

talk to someone about it.

Can I come in? Yeah, yeah, please.

Excuse the mess. I was researching some more ideas for a new Sprite Quest

demo.

What's your news?

Now that I'm a high school graduate, they offered me the job of running J

Wow.

Wow, Caitlin, that's wonderful.

When do you start?

Well, I haven't accepted yet, but they're expecting it soon, so... Well,

it, because this is what you wanted, ratcheting up the food chain.

But it could be tricky being this scary boss lady.

You know, I don't even know if J -Pod is possible.

I don't want to be another Steve, and I don't want to be another Alistair, and I

don't want to weird you out.

Yeah.

Sorry.

Dad, hang on.

It's code red, nuclear alert for emergencies. I should... Take it.

I should probably take this alone.

Oh. Uh... Okay, I'll, uh... Go. Sorry.

Dad, um... Yeah, no, I'm still on that.

Will I get more done if you stop calling every five minutes?

Well, I can't talk about that right now. Just let me call you back.

Carol, you have to relax.

Oh, I know.

I know, but I can't help thinking about my husband and my children. They must

need me.

They drained you. It's Carol time now.

I'm taking over the whole living room like this. Aren't the others going to be

annoyed? It's not a living room. It's a communal.

gathering space and all the sisters understand that we need to take this

purge all the emotional toxins from your psyche oh yeah oh

thank you for caring freedom it's

medically validated anti -stress massage just wonderful

oh needing jim's back is like Bread -making

duty at Rikers. And when did I ever get a massage?

Oh, you need someone to care about all of you.

Uh, what about... Dutchie?

Dutchie's a friend, Carol.

She's just a friend.

Well, she seems somewhat angry by my visit. She's angry because she sees her

self in you. You know, when she showed up here five years ago, she was a mousy

housewife from Burnaby.

She was wearing a size 2 and she had a cling -wrapped plate of lemon bars.

Lemon bars?

Oh, I didn't think to bring any thank you baking with me.

Relax.

There's no rules here.

I'm telling you, this place transforms people. You just have to start from the

outside in.

Oh, like a makeover.

Like a make -under.

Well, then, girl.

Delicate and frail I will read your skin like braille In

your suburban hillside jail

Trust

me.

Okay.

I told you to leave Steve in the garage. It's cooler down there. It'll slow down

the decomposition.

I'm fine, thanks for asking.

So, your plan B, how's that going?

Not good.

Steve's too far gone to fake any kind of legitimate accidental death.

You should have just called 911.

Hey, I feel bad too. Don't get all judgmental on me.

Out of Gatorade.

See, this is why we need your mother.

She'd always have a good idea. She's so bright, she's talented, she's got that

green thumb.

That's it.

Backyard. That's where we should be burying this guy.

Listen, Dad, you can't do this.

Look, A, if you bury a body in your yard, you might as well say, I did it,

because it will be found.

Yeah. B, I'll be the one doing all the digging while you sit there criticizing

me. Right.

And C, we have to leave Steve someplace he can be found so his son won't grow up

thinking he was a total write -off.

Maybe you could use your grandfather's grenades. You know, just blow them up.

Tell everybody it was Alistair, that crazy kid, left the bomb behind.

That way Steve's a hero.

Anyway, you can't autopsy a thousand body chunks, can you?

Actually, yes. They'd know he was dead before he blew up. But hey, you're

getting to the right spirit.

I am.

Don't these women use packs?

Oh, we have to avoid the communal and food alarm.

Oh, no.

Oh, my God.

I thought Cowboy was joking when he said that your childhood playground was a

giant vag.

Yeah, this is the jungle, Jine.

And judging by the fresh coat, the paint, I'd say there's a fertility

coming up.

So... This must be the ovary.

Tube.

Uterus.

Perfect.

So, you know, I'm the... You.

Next round, Bob.

She's looking at me.

Okay.

This one's going to be super.

This is Jennifer.

Don't you...

You breeders are contaminating the interactive fertility idol.

The jungle giant is fine, Dutchie. This is what comes from showing up

unannounced, Juniper.

Dutchie!

He goes by John Doe now.

Hi, Mom.

John Doe.

And Bree!

Hi. Welcome.

But please, let friskiness around the fertility equipment, especially during

ritual time.

Now, why are you here? What's going on?

Well, actually, we're here to see Ethan's mother. Where is she?

Carol. Oh, she's right here.

Hi, guy.

Hmm.

So much for brainstorming.

Caitlin. Hi.

I made your dad a tuna casserole. Oh, she's sleeping right now. You didn't

to do that.

Oh, it's okay.

I thought I'd put it in the fridge and then we can go to work together.

Oh, yeah. This whole parent situation is one big mess. I think I'm just going to

work from here today and keep an eye on the old man, you know?

You've got to focus on your promotion.

Yeah.

I'm not going to take it.

I don't want Bree and Cowboy and John Doe hating me for being their superior

and...

Don't know what it would do to us, so... Hey, I told you, I'm cool with it.

Ethan.

Talk to me.

We are talking.

It's like I can only get so far with you and then crash. There's that great wall

of Ethan.

Caitlin, I'm sorry. It's just that some things are meant to be private.

Fine.

Your wish is granted. I will leave you alone.

Hey.

Hey.

They're all dead.

Every one of them is dead.

What happened?

The darkness.

Scorpions burst out of their dome, and they started attacking the tarantulas.

And the tarantulas, they weren't going to lay down and surrender, so they

started attacking the scorpions back here in the Venus flytrap, and they

fighting, and all hell broke loose.

Harsh.

It's brutal.

Look at this. I didn't nurture life. I ended up nurturing a blender drink of

death.

Death smoothie.

Cowboy, this isn't cosmic.

Okay, I think you took a fortune cookie a little too seriously.

It was my fortune cookie, Caitlin.

Maybe my prophecies are supposed to work together and I have to die in order to

nurture new life.

You know, like a feeder tree in the forest.

As my body decomposes, plants and insects will devour me by gaining

important nutrients.

Uh, where are Bree and John Doe?

They got up the coast to rescue Carol from being converted into a lesbian by

John Doe's mother.

Is anybody... anybody working on the Spritequist demo?

I don't know.

That's it.

Hi, Gordina.

It's Caitlin.

Yeah. Please tell Mr. Parrish that I have made up my mind.

I would love to run J -Pod.

Me too.

Okay, thanks.

Bye.

You're running J -Pod?

Yeah, I am.

Cowboy. Dude.

Caitlin's going to be our new boss. We have to do something. She took the

position then, huh? You knew about this and you didn't try to stop her.

Cowboy, I'm kind of busy right now, bro.

Look, you're gonna have to talk to her and convince her she made a bad

Anything. Just make her change her mind.

Look, her decision has nothing to do with anything that she and I may have

together. Dude, I disagree.

I can't do anything until I solve my problems with my father.

Sorry, cowboy. I gotta go.

What's this big fertility ritual about?

Well, it's how I came into existence.

See, once in a blue moon, the planets align in a certain way, which in

conjunction with overlapping menstrual cycles means it's time for commune

members to have children.

Here we have three lovely young applicants for the mothering role. Ah,

they are.

That's Alice, Geneviève, and Skylar.

Right. Come here, I've got to show you something else.

Me? Dad.

Uh, yuck.

Where does the genetic material come from?

Well, uh, all the surplus money from the vegetable farm goes to this guy at

Stanford who sells Nobel Prize winner sperm.

Uh, can it get any grosser?

The sperm is dead!

The sperm is dead. The ritual sperm is dead. What happened? Well, it turns out

that someone decided to defrost the deep... phrase where the sperm for the

sacred fertilization ritual is stored. We're never going to get more in time to

complete the ritual during this planetary alignment.

The commune is doomed.

Oh, ladies, I am so sorry.

It's just I saw that freezer. It was caked with ice and I just got into one

my cleaning frenzies. It's all a blur, but I didn't know.

Oh, Carol, this is not good.

Intruder! Intruder alert!

Riveter's been breached!

No, you stay here. That's safer.

Absolutely not!

This is my place, too.

Lock and load!

Tag,

you're sticking up.

Did I ever tell you how I met your mom?

You never tell me anything about yourself.

I just arrived in town, and I'm standing in the hotel check -in line, and this

gorgeous girl walks by, and she smiles at me. I'm thinking, well, this is my

lucky day.

And I smiled back. She kept walking, but then she came back, and she reached

over like you just did, and she tucks in the label, and she says, there, now

you're perfect.

And then she walks away again, so I followed her. I asked her out for

and she said yes, so we're in the restaurant that night.

Having Chianti with dinner.

And, of course, I spilled Chianti on my shirt, and she gets the club soda over

and starts rubbing it in like this.

After about 30 seconds, the Chianti's gone, and I'm in love.

Your mother had a great touch.

Wow.

Yeah.

I've lost her, Ethan.

I killed her friend, this guy.

I don't even remember how it happened.

Dad, even if you didn't kill Steve, and I don't think you did, how would that

change anything after everything else you've done?

Oh, well, I've disappointed her a lot.

No, the difference is big, big, big.

When she finds out, I don't know how I can even face her.

Help me move Steven in the kitchen.

Yeah.

Okay. Talk with the shirt.

I didn't know death could be so

room temperature.

Okay. We have blunt force trauma to his head and chest.

Note the pale center with the hypervasculin surrounding area here.

he was struck by something vertical and Ed, definitely not a trash can.

There's also post -mortem deceleration caused by hemorrhaging blood, probably

from his head wound.

We have a foreign object embedded in the leg.

Hmm.

It's a shard of plastic.

Like from a taillight.

Okay, so mom leaves the house, gets into the car, she slams the vehicle into

reverse because she's angry, and then she smashes into the trash can here.

Of course.

Right where you found Steve's body.

Your mother killed Steve.

Yeah, yeah, but there's no way she would have left him for dead. She probably

doesn't even know she did it. No, and she can't know either, ever.

Okay, okay, plan C.

To protect mom, we'll bury him. But he has to write an honorable goodbye note

his kid.

And we're not burying him in the yard.

Deal. Caitlin, we're very excited about this and want to get everything sorted

ASAP.

Sure. Okay, this is our executive non -disclosure agreement. This is our

of moral rights to any intellectual property you develop while you work for

And this is our new staff conduct policy.

Who's Ben?

Uh, we had three lawsuits last year because of, uh... Well...

We're all adults here. In -house nookie.

Does this apply to all employees, Gordina?

Yes, it does.

And it's very strict.

We don't want to mess with your private life. I mean, we're not the army, but we

have to cover our butts.

So just sign this and we're done.

Basically, don't mingle with the help.

Done.

Excellent.

After now, after now, now, now, now, now, after now. I will.

Charles, yeah.

Hi. So, I was hoping I could maybe talk you into going back to gym. Shh,

quiet, dear. We're listening for Charlie.

Well, Ethan said you'd left and I had to come. Oh, Ethan.

How's he taking all this?

Not well, Mrs. J.

Your family is... The closest I have ever come to normal.

I think I know how you feel, John Doe. And thank you for the kind words, but

Jarliskis are far from normal.

What's the great thing about normal anyway?

What's normal ever done for any of us?

Well, she does have a point.

Ah!

Go,

go, go, go, go.

shotgun went flying and it discharged when it landed. Just in the bushes.

Penis is coming! Penis right there!

Throw that shotgun out here, sucker, or I'll blast your head like a honeydew

melon!

Okay. Show yourself now.

Nice and easy.

Dear Connor, This letter is so painful for me to write, I never thought life

would take me to this point. Boring.

Okay, fine.

Dear Connor, I am so sorry that I left you this way.

Boo -hoo, hoo -hoo, hoo -hoo. Dad, that is it.

You either do this for real or go piss off, okay? This is a kid's life we're

talking about.

I'm so sorry.

Pardon me.

Have a seat. Take dictation, then.

Dear Connor, there exists in every human being a

stain, a pool of ink, a patch of darkness, a blackness

so bleak it sometimes overtakes all other things until the possibility of

being clean or living beneath the sun on a sparkling day seems absolutely

beyond our reach.

It is this abject absence of hope that can sometimes drive a man to make

decisions that seem positively barbaric.

But when he lives in perpetual nighttime with no hope of day, trapped in this

endless world of darkness, he can only run and run and pray and hope

that there is some place to emerge in light.

And so is the journey I must make, my son, and you must not follow me.

Know that part of me will always work to ensure that you find the good light and

not the bad.

Connor, I wish you all of the love and light a father could possibly bestow

a son.

With all of my heart for all of my days, your loving father, Stephen.

Now print that bad boy up, slap Steve's fingerprints on it, and let's chuck it

in the mail.

You, uh, have any stamps?

Over by the computer.

Dad, what is this?

That's a dear Jim letter your mother wrote before she left.

Did you bother to look at it?

No, I forgot about it.

Dad, maybe this is why Mom left you in the first place.

Look, dear Jim, I'm leaving you to start Overhead Freedom's commune.

Who are you? What do you want?

Dutchie, don't shoot him.

I know this is a stressful moment for everyone, but Cowboy here's a friend of

ours. Yeah.

I'm getting freedom.

Cowboy, what are you doing here?

Well, this is going to sound kind of weird now. Ah, trust me. Today all the

are off the table.

Look, I was kind of hoping to convince you to mend the fence with Mr.

Ethan is so worried about you two that he cannot function. And as a result,

making some bad judgment calls that affect all of us in J -Pod.

What bad judgment calls?

Caitlin's about to become our new boss.

And Ethan's too distracted to see that that could seriously backfire.

Okay. Mrs. Jarliski, you really need to talk to Ethan. I will. As soon as I can.

And Ethan is so lucky to have such lovely, caring friends.

But, cowboy...

I was thinking, I'm kind of in the doghouse with the gals right now, and I

hoping that you would repay me the favor of me not having Dutchie kill you. You

just name it. What's your IQ?

186. Good in sports?

I'm not much of a team player, but I did play soccer at Yale.

Good. You're just the ticket.

Carol! Just run with it.

Are you all right?

Freedom. Everything's fine. But you remember Cowboy here?

Hey.

Cowboy went to Yale.

Cowboy. All right.

Thanks, honey.

Not every day that you meet a housewife who knows how to pack heat.

Well, life's full of surprises, isn't it? I guess.

Thanks for having my back out there today.

Might not be so bad to have me around, huh?

I wouldn't go that far.

Oh, my God.

Forgies are hard.

Well, you asked for it, breeder. And you know the rule. You're not allowed to

leave until full fertilization has been achieved. Now get back in there.

Go nurture life, young man.

Nurture life.

Carol. Oh, hello, Jim.

How did you, uh, get past the perimeter alarm?

Well, Ethan's friends let me in.

Look at you. You look great.

I can't say the same thing about you. You drunk?

Carol, you gotta come home. What are you doing here?

You have two sons who love you. You've got a husband who's lost without you.

I know my sons love me, and I know you're probably lost without me, and I'm

coming home.

Carol, we've got to talk.

Hurry, you can catch the last ferry.

Carol. Bye, Jim.

Yeah, goodbye, peanut.

Carol, if you don't do it for me, it's Ethan. Ethan needs you.

Is this for real?

Oh, this is more real than you think.

Poor Stephen.

Ethan.

Ethan.

Hi, Mom.

You really should wear gloves, darling. Take it from a gardener. Soil is pure

bacteria.

Forever to remain young, Stephen.

Darling, tell me he didn't suffer much during the end.

It was an accident, Mom.

He, uh... He was high as a kite. He stepped right in front of my car.

It was instant.

But burying him like this... Well, with all the drugs he took, we could have

just tossed him in an alley, but I thought he deserved better.

You're right.

Let's get to work.

Ethan, have you got his personal belongings?

Yeah.

Cell phone wallet.

Here's the point of a shovel, Ethan. It's much easier to cut the roots of the

tree. And don't just use the tip. You've got to step on that back part and jam

it in there.

That's it.

Isn't it great to do things together as a family?

don't try and lure me back home.

But I do not want to discuss it in front of Ethan.

Oh, yeah. Heaven forbid I should hear anything about anything.

Ethan, watch your tone.

There's a dead person here.

Sorry, Steve.

Dude, very nice.

Things I can't get enough of. Celery, jello, gore.

And me.

The alchemist needs a name.

Thief. His name could be Thief. All right.

Why not? Okay. Well, the alchemist does love his pixie dust.

How'd it go with your mom and dad?

Not so good.

Mom, I want you guys to know, and Dad...

Well, he'll survive.

Hi, everyone.

Chop -chop. Back to work.

How's it feel to be the boss lady?

I like it.

I like it a lot.

Don't go getting all crazed with power around us. Uh -huh. Or use us to

experiment with new management theories.

A lot that involves electricity and nipple clamps.

Oh, please.

I'm more of an old -fashioned boss.

Now, for the first item of business... You and I are going out to lunch to

celebrate your promotion.

I've been a jerk all week, and I really owe it to you.

The new staff conduct policy.

Which forbids co -workers from dating.

Especially bosses and their immediate subordinates.

Really?

I'm going to have to decline on that lunch offer.

Let me see that.

Does this thing cover oral?

Repeat, repeat the words that I know we both said.

Relax into the need, we get so comfortable.

Remember when I was so strange and lustful.