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Roxy?

I'm back.

What are you doing?

What's it look like?

I'm packing.

What do you mean, where are you going?

Places, I'm going places.

I'm never going to see you again, am I?

Depends.

Take the baby without me.

We could keep it, we could raise it.

With what, our lunch money?

We've talked about this.

It's so tiny.

Take it to somebody who knows about this stuff.

See you when I'm famous.

♪ You can try, I don't care ♪

♪ Forcing circles into squares ♪

♪ You can spend precious time ♪

♪ Marching your perfect line ♪

♪ But I don't hear that drum ♪

♪ I'm looking for something else ♪

♪ And if you don't like what you see ♪

♪ You don't have to look at me ♪

♪ If you don't like what I say ♪

♪ You can turn the other way ♪

♪ If you don't like what you see ♪

♪ Then don't look at me ♪

♪ Don't look at me ♪

♪ Don't look at me ♪

♪ If you don't like what you see ♪

♪ Don't look at me ♪ ♪ Don't look at me ♪

♪ If you don't like what you see ♪

You may have been wondering why it is

we let school out early today,

now that there was some concern from parents about this,

which I can understand, well, uh.

I'm here to tell you without any further ado,

it's because it's a special day

and the start of a special week,

and being that here in Clyde,

we honor the dead and the living,

especially if we haven't seen them in 15 years.

I hereby proclaim this Roxy Carmichael Week!

All right, Roxy!

Now, now, I'm going to turn the microphone over

to Louise Garweski,

the official chairwoman of the Welcome home, Roxy Committee.

Let's give Louise a nice, warm round of applause.

Thank you, Mayor Klepler.

Well, our patience would not be rewarded.

Dinky Bossetti's here.

Jesus, Dinky, do something with yourself.

Could it be, yes it could.

What are you looking at?

Someone's coming.

Someone good.

And I know that's how we all feel.

Don't sweat it, Howells.

She won't be around for long.

Roxy Carmichael Center

for Cosmetology and Drama.

What do you mean?

Moving along as scheduled,

I am also thrilled to report that we've acquired

a wonderful band for the Roxy Ball.

G. Wiliker and the Gee Wilikers will be our entertainment.

We got 'em. We got 'em.

And as an extra added treat,

our very own Miriam Tenalia will be joining G.

Starting tomorrow, there will be hourly tours

of Roxy Carmichael's birthplace.

You'll see where Roxy slept and where she ate

during her wonder years.

You'll also see pictures of her beloved dog, Bonkers.

She loved that dog.

She used to ride him.

It was a big dog.

Look-aliYke contest has been canceled

by an almost unanimous vote at the PTA meeting last night.

And we urge all those who so painstakingly worked on it

to find another committee to put your energies into.

And we thank all the preliminary participants.

I just can't wait to see

whether Roxy's been able to keep her weight down.

Mm, she developed so fast.

Too fast, if you ask me.

Cosmetology and Drama is nearing completion,

and we could use anybody's extra time and energy

in getting the place in tiptop shape for Friday night.

She bought her underwear

through a special catalog from Hollywood.

What are you talking about?

She never even wore underwear.

♪ But I don't hear that drum ♪

♪ I'm looking for something else ♪

♪ And if you don't like what you see ♪

♪ You don't have to look at me ♪

♪ If you don't like what you see ♪

♪ Then don't look at me ♪

♪ Don't look at me ♪

Hello there, Cliff.

That's a good boy, that's a good boy.

Dave, Dave, how you doin', Dave?

Attaboy, how you doing?

Hello, Melvin, hello.

What's the matter?

Oh, I guess I'm not awake yet.

It's because of Roxy, isn't it?

No, it's not because of Roxy.

Bring it on down.

Keep it coming, keep it coming.

Yeah, I got it.

A little more!

Yeah, it'll fit in there.

Yeah, you know, this is the very first job I ever had

where I was paid before I started to work.

They can say what they want,

that Roxy Carmichael is a damn good businesswoman.

Shrewd.

Must have cost her a damn fortune.

A least half a mil.

Oh, hell, no.

She can afford it, she's famous.

What's she famous for?

Hey, Denton.

It's about time.

Bet you can't wait to see her, huh?

Yeah, I hear she looks the same way she did

when you two used to go around together.

I'm going to go plant some out front.

Hey, did you know Roxy Carmichael?

Yeah.

Personally?

Yeah, real personally.

These are Roxy's favorite flowers.

Dandelions, don't ask me why.

Why?

Well, said they were wild and free

and didn't give a shit where they lived.

She used to say they were smart for flowers.

You're Les Bossetti's kid, aren't you?

How did you know Roxy Carmichael?

You don't know?

Nobody talks to me.

Roxy was my girlfriend.

Oh, hell, she was my wife.

You were married?

Yeah.

We got married on her 10th birthday.

Why?

Roxy wanted it that way.

Told me she wanted to get it over with.

I didn't care, you know.

I'd have got married to her when she was five.

That's when we first met.

God, these are ugly flowers.

Well, how long were you married?

Would've been...

20 years ago Saturday.

Hell, we were kids, you know, it didn't mean anything.

Was she pretty?

Break it up, break it up!

Watch your back there, Louie!

The campus is located in a beautiful pastoral setting.

We just totally remodeled the facility.

We're very proud of the fact

that we have an Olympic-size pool

and an ultramodern recreation center.

I've put together a financial package

that I think will enable us to...

I want her to have her own room.

Oh, of course.

It's not that we don't love Dinky.

Of course.

I caught her trying to barbwire her room last week.

It isn't funny, Les.

I want to have a normal family.

The doctor thinks I can conceive now,

and Les would like to have a child of his own,

one that will let him be a real father.

Dinky never would.

Of course, I understand completely.

You've made a brave decision.

And if, Dinky, is it?

Turns out to be as right a candidate for Lancer

as we think,

we'll have her tucked away by the weekend.

I mean, it's the best thing for Dinky.

It's the very best thing.

Here you go, Cliff.

Here you go.

Oh, you're hungry, aren't you?

Hey, Melvin.

Dave!

Dave, don't be such a cliché.

Dave, try to be a cut above.

Show some manners.

Dave!

Hey, Dave, get over here on your own piece of carpet.

You know the rules.

Now, let's all try and have a nice family meal.

You don't have a name yet, do you?

What about Wheaton?

I think it has dignity.

What do you think?

I cannot believe I waited this long to find a dress.

You look stunning.

It's an original.

Do you think it's too revealing?

Honey, if I had your figure,

I'd show it off as much as possible.

I'm sure Roxy will be dressed to the hilt.

Don't you think so?

Guess what?

Barbie Webb just walked in.

Come on, Denny.

This is my size.

Hi, Barbie.

Hello, Evelyn.

Hiya, big guy.

How are you, huh?

Mama.

So, Barbie.

How you been?

I'm fine, Evelyn.

Listen, Barbie, I took psychology

at Lorain Business School,

and I am aware of how hard this must be for you,

what with Roxy coming back to town and all.

Evelyn, if you don't mind,

I really don't want to talk about it.

Oh, I understand.

I mean, I know I couldn't handle it.

Knowing that my husband's true love was coming home.

I mean, well, everyone thinking she was his true love.

But, I mean, he married you, didn't he?

Yes, he did, didn't he?

Come on.

What's wrong with that lady, Mom?

Go on.

Hey, Dinky Bossetti,

when you going to get your stink test, huh?

Yeah, when you going back to the funny farm?

I want that bike for my junk collection.

The house was built in 1927 by Roxy's grandfather,

Carl Michael Carmichael, a noted dermatologist

and a rumored vaudevillian,

and it was at that time that he had a dream

about a young woman named Roxy.

Well, he had seven sons, much to Carl's dismay,

but his first grandchild was a little girl

who would only eat pink food, and he named her Roxy,

and she was his pride and joy.

I'll bet.

Now, as you can see, we have simulated life

just as it was when Roxy lived here.

And this is the actual dining room

where Roxy Carmichael ate her meals

with her beloved mother, Caroline.

May she rest in peace.

Amen.

Now, if you'll just follow me this way, please, hm?

As we enter the kitchen,

imagine with me for a moment, if you will,

how it might have been as Caroline reached

for some of Roxy's favorite foods,

the Cheetos and the M&Ms and, of course, Roxy's favorite,

the pink-packaged almond Rocas.

You will notice, however,

that they have been sprayed with a lacquer,

thereby insuring that no bugs

or other household pests get into them.

As a matter of fact, it was in this very room

that Roxy first dreamt of creating

a center for cosmetology and drama

while chipping a tooth on a piece of rock candy

right before the ninth grade production.

Now.

Oh, how odd.

Dinky Bossetti, I know that's you in there.

Don't you know this is a historic site?

This is the Clyde police department.

Open up in there or we'll tear the door down.

No, you won't, it's an historical site.

Dinky, honey.

God damn it, Dinky.

We have a sale on outdoor Weatherweave next week.

Do you know how bad this is for public relations?

Hell, I'll be lucky if I sell five bolts.

Gloria Sikes was there

and she is gonna tell everybody about this.

Don't you have anything to say?

About the carpet sale or Gloria Sikes?

Don't you dare laugh at her.

Dinky Dean Bossetti,

is that the yellow sweater I bought for you last week?

That was a 32 dollar sweater, missy,

and you dyed it black, didn't you?

After you promised me you wouldn't.

Correction.

I didn't promise I wouldn't, I said I'd try not to.

Dinky, what would make you do such a thing

as to lock yourself in Roxy Carmichael's room

and then get into her bed?

To be closer to her.

But why?

I don't know.

In the second act of King Lear.

Now, we have four more of your original poems to hear today

before we finish.

David Skism, Dinky Bossetti,

Maureen Mikulski, and Timmy Roth.

Any volunteers?

All right, David?

Um.

A cow knows not what its tail is worth

until it's lost it and says ow.

Stunning.

Dinky Bossetti?

From a deep, immaculate kiss

she spread her two ripe, dripping limbs

and then I happened.

I beg your pardon?

And the moon throbbed and fought with an angry sun

all that day and all that night

until it forced me out.

Dinky.

Now I scald here, alone.

Touch me with your white words and your dead hands.

Now, before I freeze.

That will be enough!

And become one of you.

Dinky!

You interrupted me.

I write, too, you know.

No kidding.

I don't share that with very many people.

Gee, I can't tell you how privileged you make me feel.

I do my best.

You married?

No.

Ever been?

No.

You?

It's nice to meet you, Dinky.

I've been watching you ever since I moved here.

Why would you do something like that?

Watch you?

Why would somebody move to Clyde, Ohio,

to become a guidance counselor?

Why not?

Care for an M&M?

I love these.

Roxy Carmichael loved these, too.

She did?

Yes.

She's coming home, you know.

How could anyone not know?

Well.

This has helped a lot.

Jesus, Dinky!

God, you scared me.

I scare everybody.

Hey!

Is it true that Roxy Carmichael

bought that cotton candy machine when she was eight?

No, she didn't exactly buy it, she.

She stole it from the Cleveland Zoo

after they kicked her out for riding a pig

at the kiddy farm.

She loved that kiddy farm.

She loved animals.

Denton.

How come she left?

It wasn't 'cause of me.

I'll tell you that right now.

She left.

She left 'cause something happened.

What?

What happened?

Roxy was going to have a baby.

She was?

Yeah, our baby.

Your baby?

Yeah.

Your child?

Mine and Roxy's.

What do you mean was?

I mean, didn't Roxy have the baby?

Oh, yeah, she had it, all right.

Just three months early, that's all.

Three months?

Yeah.

You mean it was premature?

I mean, it was real premature.

See, Roxy wasn't any good at math,

even though she did win the Hubert Hammerman award

for excellence in algebra in the eighth grade.

So did I.

Yeah?

Still, I think the baby had to have been

seven months and 12 days old

instead of six months and 12 days old.

I mean, you know, it looked normal to me.

You mean you saw it?

Yeah, of course I saw it.

What kind of father do you think I am?

I wouldn't know.

What's that supposed to mean?

It was a girl, wasn't it?

Yeah, it was.

It was this perfect, beautiful little girl.

It was beautiful?

Oh, God, hell, yes.

What happened to it?

God, you love to ask questions, don't you?

What happened to it?

I put it outside the hospital emergency

with a sign that said premature on it.

They probably figured that out for themselves.

I sat and I waited until they took it away in an ambulance

to the preemie center over in Cleveland.

And I prayed as I watched them drive away

that God would bless it.

But it never really had a chance.

If it was part Roxy Carmichael,

it had at least half a chance.

Yeah.

Jesus!

Hey, hey!

What did you do that for?

Huh?

Geez.

That's a strange kid.

Head, shoulders, knees and toes, knees and toes.

That's daddy's truck!

That's daddy's truck!

No, it isn't, honey.

That sure looks like daddy's truck.

Jesus, Dinky, what are you doing?

They could print this and.

So we just don't know what to do about her.

Can you make this hold till Friday?

Oh, sure.

I love that kid, you know. I really do.

Of course you do, honey.

It's just that I feel like

we adopted a baby from Mars or something.

She just is not like us at all.

Do you want the part on the right or the left?

Left.

I don't know, Charmaine.

I wanted to give Dinky everything I never had.

She was gonna be our little doll,

but she never wanted any of that.

I just don't think she likes me, us, very much.

Oh, sure she does, Rochelle.

I think we're gonna have to send her

to a special place again.

We just sent her back to that high school and everything.

What kind of special place?

Well, it's a school for gifted children.

It's very beautiful.

Well, as beautiful as a place like that can be.

You know, very clean, immaculate,

and it's got an Olympic-size swimming pool.

Oh, does Dinky swim?

No.

Yes.

Well, I really don't know.

Can you give me some fringe bangs or something here?

- Sure beats your office. - I know.

There you go, ladies.

My parents were in the process

of opening their carpet store when they acquired me.

So I guess it was sort of a natural thing for them

to think of me as another piece of carpet.

You know, some sort of remnant.

What?

That's a funny analogy.

I'm here to amuse.

Ever tried to talk to them about it?

Yeah.

When?

Once.

Once?

Once when I was six and a quarter,

Mrs. Bossetti and I sat down and we talked.

You don't want to know.

Yes, I do.

Well, I told her that I preferred books to dolls,

boots to ballet slippers,

and that my idea of a family vacation

was to go and work on the Alaska pipelines for the summer.

And?

I was only six-and-a-quarter.

I can't remember everything.

Huh.

You really want to know this stuff?

Well, she cried for three days.

She told everybody she felt like I was Rosemary's Baby.

She had a thing about that movie.

And then she stopped trying,

and so did I.

That's too bad, Dinky.

That's really too bad.

She can't help the way she feels.

Neither can I, I mean.

There isn't anything wrong with that.

It's not like I have some romantic notion

about how I'm suffering because my parents,

people, for that matter, don't understand me.

I mean, so what?

Who understands anybody, really?

Who wants to?

It's hard enough trying to understand yourself, you know?

We just don't fit.

It happens.

It's not going to matter after Friday anyway.

Why, because Roxy Carmichael's coming home?

Because my mother's coming to get me.

Your mother?

Wait a minute, Dinky, I don't think I understand.

It's not for you to understand, really.

Dinky, what do you say we comb your hair?

Denny, don't do that with your potatoes.

Ham's real good.

Would you, come on.

Don't do that to him.

Why not?

Because I said so.

Don't talk to me like that.

I'll do whatever I want.

Just like you.

What's that supposed to mean?

You promised.

I promised what?

You know what!

I drove by her house, so what?

You son of a bitch.

Hey, don't you got better things to do

than to check up on me?

She never loved you, Denton.

She didn't like you, even.

She won't even as much as say hello to you on Friday

because she won't remember who you are!

Mama.

♪ I've been here too long ♪

Hey, sweetie.

I was thinking, instead of a suit,

I'm going to rent a tux with a pink cummerbund.

You know, I really don't see what the big deal is.

I mean, well, I really don't.

Well, it's just not every day

that a legend returns to Clyde.

Roxy was the first girl to have actual sex

before she was 10 that I ever met in my life.

She had a definite cheapness about her,

but she was not cheap.

Oh, yes, she was.

I was her best friend, I should know.

I want to see those legs.

Roxy Carmichael had the greatest thighs I've ever seen.

Oh, and those stockings she used to wear.

Nyah!

You've got to admit, she definitely had a sense of style.

Mm-hm, well, I'd have a sense of style, too,

if I stole as much shit as she did.

Now, Evelyn, you don't know that for a fact.

Who are you in love with, anyway?

Me or Roxy Carmichael?

I'm going to throw all that pizza up, I can just tell.

This is Mike Corezdi on WCPZ,

bringing you Melissa Etheridge's rendition

of Jack Slater's classic, In Roxy's Eyes.

♪ So you walked with me for a while ♪

♪ And shared your naked soul ♪

♪ And you told me of your plan ♪

♪ How you would never let them know ♪

♪ In the morning of the night ♪

♪ You cried a long lost child ♪

♪ And I tried oh I tried to hold you ♪

♪ But you were young and you were wild ♪

♪ But I, I will never be the same ♪

♪ Oh I, I will never be the same ♪

♪ Caught in your eyes ♪

- Hi. - ♪ Lost in your name ♪

Um.

I'm really sorry about the other day in class

if I embarrassed you.

I guess I sort of got carried away on account of that poem.

What are you doing, Howells?

We got to get going if.

♪ Placed upon the highest shelf ♪

You embarrassed yourself.

♪ In the morning of the night ♪

♪ When I woke to find you gone ♪

I'm going to laugh at you someday, Gerald Howells.

♪ Must be draggin' you along ♪

♪ I will never be the same ♪

♪ Oh I ♪

♪ I will never be the same ♪

♪ Caught in your eyes ♪

♪ Lost in your name ♪

♪ I will never be the same ♪

♪ You swore that you were bound for glory ♪

♪ And for wanting you had no shame ♪

♪ But I loved you and then I lost you ♪

♪ And I will never be the same ♪

♪ I, I will never be the same ♪

You don't know dick about building stuff,

Dinky Bossetti.

♪ I will never be the same ♪

♪ Caught in your eyes ♪

♪ Lost in your name ♪

♪ I will never be the same ♪

♪ I will never be the same ♪

♪ Oh I, I will never be the same ♪

♪ Caught in your eyes ♪

♪ Lost in your name ♪

♪ I will never be the same ♪

What is that?

I don't know and I don't care.

I heard Roxy killed her mom.

She didn't kill her mom.

Her mom killed herself, Beannie.

Well, Roxy was the reason her mom killed herself,

so Roxy killed her mom.

Shut up, I'm trying to sleep.

Well, I heard that Roxy's mom spontaneously combusted

when she heard Roxy wasn't coming back,

and that's how she died.

Oh!

- I love it. - Nice one, Beannie.

Hey, Dinky Bossetti, what happened to your bike?

Did you trade it in for that new bow you're wearing?

Let me off.

Let me off.

What?

Let me off!

She's serious.

Dinky!

Dinky!

Dinky, Dinky, stop!

Here's your bow.

Yeah, that's it, all right.

Dinky, I gotta talk to you.

Why?

Well, because.

Just say it, Gerald.

'Cause you're smarter than anyone I know.

You've even got a sense of humor.

Ever since I moved here, I've thought so.

Go on.

But you got to take more of an interest in yourself.

I mean, how you look, you know?

What for?

So you could be my girlfriend.

What makes you think that I want to be your girlfriend?

Well, 'cause I like you.

I thought maybe you liked me, too.

I decided last week

that I'm going to follow in my dad's footsteps

and become a dentist.

So you don't have to worry about a lot of stuff.

Well, are you planning on going to the same school

your dad went?

Yeah, Wooster, why?

I wouldn't.

Why not?

Well, your dad probably works on your teeth, right?

Yeah, so?

So why hasn't he fixed your gaps?

I don't have any gaps.

Yes, you do.

It gives me character.

God, I want to kiss you so bad right now, Dinky.

It's good to want things.

Bummer.

Meet me after practice, Dave.

All right?

Ooh!

Are you guys going to the Roxy thing?

Are you excited about it?

Ooh, yeah.

Down court, and he shoots.

He scores!

And she just sits there alone all the time?

Mm-hm.

How long has this been going on?

On and off.

Since the seventh grade.

That is, when she's here.

And she's how old now?

I'd say she's about 15.

15 and a half.

Oh, Beth, this is Ronald Reems.

Ronald this is Elizabeth Zaks.

- Hi. - How do you do?

Ronald's from the Lancer school.

Lancer school?

Yes, it's a private, semi-rehabilitative school

for socially inappropriate children in Lancaster County.

Well, actually it's more

than just for socially inappropriate students.

Ronald's here to evaluate Dinky Bossetti.

What for?

It's our understanding

that Dinky may have a learning problem.

Dinky's an excellent student.

Perhaps.

Not perhaps.

She's maintained practically an A average

ever since elementary school.

That goes for every school

she's been yanked in and out of since then.

Yes, but at the expense of the other students.

At the expense of what other students?

How's that hamburger gravy, hm?

Good, huh?

I brought Ellen Dimeski over here when I became principal.

She's a good caterer, too.

Look at her.

They're throwing food at her.

What would be a normal reaction?

If she threw the food back at them?

You might have a point,

but my understanding is her problem goes far beyond

the occasional food-throwing incident.

It is, huh?

Well, let me ask you this, Mr. Reems.

Have you ever talked to Dinky Bossetti?

Not yet, but I.

But you're willing to take

someone else's word for it, right?

Beth, I think that's enough.

I don't think so.

Who sent you here?

Daddy!

Hey, what's going on, Barbie?

Barb, come on, I think we should talk.

We've been talking for eight years, Denton.

Not to each other, but then,

you can't have everything, now, can you?

Barbie, I love you and the kids.

Come on.

I know you do.

Barb.

We have, we have a good thing here, Barbie.

We have a really good thing.

Say goodbye to them.

Goodbye!

Oh, God.

Say something, Denton.

Say something.

Uh, you need any money?

No.

No, here, take it.

No, take it.

I said no!

What did she do that was so great, huh?

Oh, God.

I mean, what was it about her?

I want to know what it was about Roxy Carmichael

that made you not give a shit about anything else?

I didn't know, I didn't know.

I swore, I swear to God I just,

I thought it was over.

I thought it was over.

No, you can't have it both ways, Denton.

I can't let you.

You want to know what she calls a penis?

Guess.

I don't know.

Oh, come on, guess.

A hoo-hoo.

Uh-huh.

You wouldn't believe what she calls a vagina.

Do you generally give out this kind of information

about your mother?

She's not my mother.

Oh, right.

And I don't generally give out information to anybody.

Gee, I can't tell you how privileged you've made me feel.

It's not like anybody asks.

Listen, I don't like the way some people treat you, but.

You don't help them out, Dinky.

I mean, believe it or not, these are not all bad people.

I mean, it's not like the world against Dinky Bossetti.

Bye.

See?

You don't risk anything, Dinky,

and that's why you don't get anything back.

It's easier this way.

No, it's not.

Dinky, don't shut me out.

I'm just trying to help.

Why?

Why are you so interested in my crummy life?

And don't tell me it's your job.

Because I've seen what can happen with people like you.

You have, huh?

Anybody we know?

Well?

Well, what, Libby?

You know.

It was fine, Libby.

But I'm not Roxy, am I?

No.

No, you're not Roxy.

See ya later!

Wait, Dinky.

I saw what happened in the cafeteria today.

I feel sorry for you, Dinky.

Yeah, well, don't.

Don't feel sorry for me because I'm glad they hate me.

Let them.

They hated Roxy Carmichael, too.

Look at her.

Besides, I'm leaving this place tomorrow anyway.

What are you going to do, sail away on your ark?

What do you know about my ark?

Nothing.

You fixed the roof, didn't you?

I forget.

Hey.

You're not really going to go away, are you?

Well, I don't really have much of a choice, my.

My real mother wants me back, and I have to go with her.

Real mother?

Roxy Carmichael.

Roxy Carmichael's your mother?

How do you know?

She's my mother and that's that.

She's coming back here to get me,

and we're gonna have fun.

We're gonna have some kind of fun.

And don't you worry about a thing 'cause as soon as,

as soon as we get settled,

I'm going to send for all of you.

Wheaton?

Wheaton?

Wheaton!

Oh, my God.

Wheaton!

Oh, Jesus, you don't know your name yet, do you?

Wheaton!

Oh, God.

Wheaton?

Oh!

What are you doing, huh?

I told you about those cracks, didn't I, huh?

I told you about those cracks.

What you need is your own territory,

a piece of carpet that's yours and yours alone.

Okay, stay, stay.

Watch him.

♪ Look at me ♪

♪ I'm as helpless as a kitten up a tree ♪

♪ And I feel like I'm clinging ♪

♪ I can't understand ♪

♪ I get misty just holding your hand ♪

I like what you did with your hair, there, Chelle.

The part's on the left.

♪ A thousand violins begin to play ♪

♪ For it might be the sound of your hello ♪

Now, come on now, Les.

She'll be coming 'round the mountain when she comes.

I'm trying to straighten up, let go.

She'll be coming.

Oh.

Now look what you made me do.

♪ You can say that you're leading me on ♪

♪ But it's just what I want you to do ♪

Not on the plush.

It'll show every mark.

She'll be comin'.

Here she comes.

Here she comes.

Dinky, honey.

It's all right.

She couldn't help it, Chelle.

Ah!

My God.

Dinky, are you okay?

Are you all right?

You're okay?

Jesus.

What happened?

What were you thinking of?

Oh, I don't know.

Do you think I should go blonde?

I would if I were you.

I mean, if you were me.

Yes.

If I were you, I would.

You would?

Gotta go.

Think she'll be blonde?

It's hard to tell with Roxy.

Not that it matters.

Peroxide's oxidizing, Evelyn.

I would if I were you.

It's just that I'd hate to take a chance, you know,

and have it turn out bad.

Roxy Carmichael always took a chance.

I am not Roxy Carmichael,

and I could care less what she would do.

Go for it.

Is there any particular reason

why you're looking at me like that?

Come on, you haven't said a word.

What's she famous for?

Did you ever hear that song, In Roxy's Eyes?

Jack Slater song?

Heard it last night.

Right, first hit he ever had, right?

She was the girl in that song.

And, and that's it?

She was in a song and that's why she's so famous?

I mean, she didn't save a

country or invent something great

or murder someone?

Do you know how hard it is to get yourself in a song?

Jesus.

You going to eat the rest of those?

How could a song make her a legend?

She'd have been a legend

with or without that goddamn song,

or the album he devoted to her,

or all those interviews he did about her.

You know, he gave her every cent he made on that song,

and it played for 23 weeks.

She owns the rights.

I hear she's set for life.

Still makes money off it whenever it plays.

Hell, I even heard a wimpy version of it

in the elevator the other day.

So why did she leave him?

Because she's smart.

She knew that if she left him while they were still in love,

it would make them more of a legend.

You know, like Romeo and Juliet.

Or me and her.

What about the baby?

I mean, did anybody else know about her being pregnant?

No, no one.

She hid it real well.

So you mean I'm the only other person who knows.

Yeah, I guess you are.

Did she love it?

I mean, did she love that baby?

Yes, she did.

She said, while it was growing inside her,

that it was a real special child.

Well, what about you?

I mean, don't you ever wonder about that baby?

Don't you?

What kind of father are you, anyway?

Don't you ever wonder what happened to your first born?

It's 7:15 a.m.

Good morning, Clyde,

This is Judy Duran coming to you

on the day our Roxy returns.

Dinky, are you awake?

No.

May I come in?

I'm doing stuff, really.

There are some things we're going to have to work out

if this house is going to hold the three of us.

Look, I'm late for school.

Then we'll talk about it tonight, missy?

The name's Dinky.

What's the matter, hm?

Is it something about us?

Nobody on the faculty knows.

Nobody.

No, I don't care about that.

It's, well.

What?

You can tell me.

It's Dinky.

You never thought so before.

Look, Beth.

I want to know where we're going.

I mean, we've been together for almost half a fiscal year.

I'd just like to know what direction we're headed in.

You want to think about it?

Dinky.

I need a favor.

A favor?

Yes, please.

You know, I really appreciate this.

I haven't been shopping in years.

I guess that's kind of obvious, huh?

Cleveland would have been a very expensive cab ride.

And you told your parents about this, right?

Right.

Well, I didn't tell mine.

What do you say we make a day of it?

Just as long as we're back in time for my mother.

She's going to get there at nine.

Right.

Well, I don't think I can make it.

I'm not big on parties.

So, you want to talk about you and Scotty Sandholtzer?

No, Dinky, I don't.

You want to talk about you and Gerald Howells?

I'm beyond men.

So you were a counselor

when you lived in New York, too, then, huh?

No, I just took a rest from that for a while.

Mother of the bride.

Why don't you try something on?

I'm working on it.

Well, I burnt out in New York, too.

Then, one day, I just packed up everything and I left.

Well, how did you end up in Clyde?

You want to know the truth?

It's usually the best thing.

I got tired of driving.

This is not me.

How do you know?

You think I should try it?

Yeah.

They're nice.

Who?

Them.

Oh.

Thank you.

Well, I guess I'm going to try my stuff on now.

Okay, Dinky.

Yeah.

Think mine will be as nice as yours someday?

I think they're as nice as mine right now.

Yeah.

You're the first person who's ever seen them.

I just don't understand

how something like this could have happened.

Straighten your head.

My father thinks that I should sue,

but I said, no, I'll just wait and see if she can fix it.

- Thank you, Evelyn. - Ow!

Pardon me.

Care for some fiddle faddle?

No, thank you.

We are one hour and 15 away

from matching a lucky member with a chance

of winning $5,000.

That was the high school.

Dinky never showed up there today.

Um.

Look, here's a thought.

Why don't I come back in a couple of weeks

and we can re-evaluate the situation then.

She'll be back, won't she, Les?

This isn't like Dinky.

It's not normal for her.

Well, there's nothing normal when it comes to Dinky.

She's just different, Chelle, that's all.

That doesn't have to be a bad thing.

There you go defending her again.

I'm calling the police right now.

You're kidding about Dinky, right?

You're not serious, right?

I don't know, she's got a real good sense of humor.

Well, so does Rodney Dangerfield,

but I wouldn't marry him.

What's everyone got against Dinky, anyway?

Well, for one thing, she's new, kind of.

I mean.

She's been here in the summers and all

but she's always getting sent off somewhere

on account of her weirdness.

So you know how when someone's new in school,

you gotta make fun of them for a while

to break them in?

Well, with Dinky Bossetti, you really got to make fun of her

'cause she's Dinky.

Furthermore, she stinks.

She doesn't stink.

Well, she did the other day.

Furthermore, she's ugly.

She's not ugly!

Well, she ain't beautiful like Laura Collier,

who likes you and would wear your ring again in a minute.

Unit 218, Unit 218.

Hello, Gerald.

Hi, Mr. Billings.

Officer Billings.

Yeah, right. Beannie, look.

Oh, hi, Dad.

Come on, your mom wants you home.

She's making macaroni and cheese.

With Swiss or Velveeta?

I guess it doesn't matter.

Put that goddamn candy away.

By the way, you haven't seen Dinky Bossetti around,

have you?

No, why?

She's missing.

Hey, Gerald, you want a ride?

Beannie, get your goddamn skateboard.

Gerald?

Roger 217.

I wouldn't worry about it too much.

After all, she's just a kid.

They usually turn up.

Well, I'm very worried, thank you.

Can't you do anything?

Les, tell him to do something.

I'm really sorry, I have to be going.

No, no, I just made a fresh pot of coffee.

Les, please tell Mr. Reems to stay.

Les, where are you going?

Out to look for Dinky.

But why, I mean, what for?

Because she's our daughter.

Um, we close at four today.

The Roxy Ball.

I got time.

Not a lot.

And my boyfriend's gonna be here any minute.

And he's got this thing about me being there for him.

I mean, he's really possessive.

Don't tell him I said that, okay?

This is nice, isn't it?

Don't tell my boyfriend I said that, okay?

Can you have these hemmed by tonight?

We are officially closed, you know?

Yeah, but I can have them by tonight, right?

All right, I'll pin them, but I won't hem them, okay?

Come on, babycakes, let's go!

No, you gotta.

Well, I'll try, okay?

I'm begging you, please!

Here, how's this?

Are you going to wear these shoes with it?

No.

Promise me, okay?

Oh.

You really should have thought of this earlier.

Promise me, please, you got to do this.

I'll do my best, okay?

It is extra for the hurry.

All right.

Here, here, here, here.

Extra.

Okay?

All right, go.

Jim!

Not again.

Hi, Denton.

Gerald.

You wanna talk?

About what?

Women.

Where do they all come from?

Well, nobody else wanted them,

except for Dave here,

he was on his way to becoming a bologna sandwich.

We got kind of a family thing going here.

We argue sometimes, but basically, we respect each other.

So, you're gonna do this for me, right?

You're gonna come here after school and feed them for me?

Dinky, are you sure?

I mean, are you absolutely sure that Roxy's.

Yes.

I am.

Uncurtained Window, huh?

You know, I think it would be a big mistake

if you stopped writing.

Where did you get that?

Clyde library.

I had a tough time finding it, though,

'cause they put it under the home improvement section.

Congratulations.

You're one of the five people who ever read it.

I liked it.

Well, it was a complete disaster.

Is that why you're hiding out in Clyde?

I lost it.

I don't want to write anymore.

That's a disaster.

I've tried.

Once?

This is a good talk we had.

Yeah.

Goodbye, Elizabeth.

Goodbye, Dinky.

And I know I'll never ever meet anyone

like her again.

Oh man, you sound just like I did.

You only fall in love the first time once.

She reminds me a lot of Roxy, you know.

Did people hate Roxy like they hate Dinky?

Pretty close.

They both scare people in the same way, I guess.

Like aliens.

I think it's got a lot to do

with the fact that Dinky's adopted.

No, listen, I got to go.

I got to get ready for tonight.

You need a ride?

She keeps saying she's leaving today.

She keeps saying her mom's coming to get her.

Her mom?

Who's her mom?

She says her mother is Roxy Carmichael.

What, she what?

Wait a minute.

She thinks Roxy is her mother?

Yeah.

What?

No, it's between me and Dinky.

If it's got something to do with Dinky,

I wanna know.

You really care about Dinky?

Yeah, more than anything.

Okay.

You go out and you do something real special for her.

Buy her some flowers.

Buy her a box of candy.

Something.

'Cause she's gonna need something.

Dinky?

I saw your bike outside, Dinky.

I'm glad you're home.

I was worried about you, Dinky.

You were?

Yeah.

Do you like the carpet?

It's black.

I laid it this morning.

I had to bring it in through the window.

Let's party!

♪ Get your motor running ♪

♪ Head out on the highway ♪

♪ Lookin' for adventure ♪

♪ And whatever comes our way ♪

♪ Yeah darlin' gonna make it happen ♪

♪ Take the world in a love embrace ♪

♪ Fire all of our guns at once ♪

♪ And explode into space ♪

Oh, yes!

♪ It's like smoke and lightning ♪

♪ Heavy metal thunder ♪

♪ Racing in the wind ♪

♪ And feelin' that I'm under ♪

Thanks.

♪ Yeah darlin' gonna make it happen ♪

Take these?

My dad said that you were taken to the station

to get questioned.

Shit!

He told me that you told him that you spy on Dinky Bossetti

all the time.

Shit!

Yeah, I do.

Gerald Howells, what happened?

What's it look like?

I got braces.

Why?

Well, I have gaps.

My dad's been trying to put them on me for a long time,

so I let him.

It only took an hour-and-a-half.

Think Dinky will like 'em?

You look really ugly!

I know.

♪ And all winter subside ♪

♪ She finds it all so amusing ♪

♪ To think she did all that ♪

♪ And she will say ♪

♪ Not in a shy way ♪

♪ Oh no, oh not her ♪

♪ She did it her way ♪

♪ Oh what is a woman ♪

♪ What has she got ♪

♪ If not herself ♪

♪ Then she has naught ♪

♪ To say the things ♪

Did you find her?

No, I went everywhere I could think of.

It almost made me late for this.

- Me, too. - Yeah.

You've got braces.

Yeah.

For Dinky.

♪ And did it her way ♪

Thanks.

So good, so, woo!

Oh, people, people!

She's here!

Limo!

Limo!

Roxy, Roxy, Roxy, Roxy!

Roxy, Roxy, Roxy, Roxy, Roxy, Roxy!

Roxy, Roxy, Roxy, Roxy, Roxy!

Roxy, Roxy, Roxy, Roxy, Roxy!

Roxy, Roxy, Roxy!

Roxy, Roxy, Roxy, Roxy, Roxy!

Roxy, where is Roxy?

What is going on here?

Where is she?

What is going on?

Uh.

Roxy Carmichael will not be able to attend

her very own ball and dedication services

due to circumstances beyond her control,

I knew it.

She has, however, sent a dedication plaque

and requests that we enjoy the evening without her.

I'm never going to see you again, am I?

Dinky, Dinky!

Wait, I got to tell you...

I got to go.

She's going to leave without me!

Listen to me.

Dinky, no, stop.

Let go, you're not her father!

Yes, he is.

No, I'm not, and Roxy's not your mother.

Yes, she is.

No, she's not, Dinky.

Yes, she is.

Roxy Carmichael is my mother.

Don't you get it?

I was that baby!

You're too stupid to figure it out.

That was me.

I was that baby.

That baby died, Dinky.

It died.

It did?

I went back to the hospital.

And I saw her.

And I buried her.

I'm sorry, Dinky.

Don't be.

No, I am, I didn't know.

I didn't know she was that real for you.

She's no more real for me than she is for you.

Dinky!

Wait.

I'm so stupid.

I lied to myself.

Yeah, you did, so what?

Dinky, don't use this to run away again.

Please.

You only thought you needed her, Dinky.

I don't have to listen to you.

Who the hell is Roxy Carmichael?

Who the hell cares?

She's not here, look around.

There are real people right here in your life

who care about you, Dinky.

Save it for your lecture series, Gerald.

Okay.

You don't understand!

I wanted this.

I really did.

It's good to want things.

♪ I will never be the same ♪

♪ Oh I, I will never be the same ♪

♪ Caught in your eyes ♪

♪ Lost in your name ♪

♪ I will never be the same ♪

♪ And you swore that you were bound for glory ♪

♪ And for wanting you had no shame ♪

♪ But I loved you ♪

♪ And then I lost you ♪

♪ And I will never be the same ♪

♪ Oh I ♪

♪ I will never be the same ♪

♪ Oh I ♪

♪ I will never be the same ♪

♪ Caught in your eyes ♪

♪ Lost in your name ♪

♪ I will never be the same ♪

♪ I, I will never be the same ♪

♪ Oh I, I will never be the same ♪

♪ Caught in your eyes ♪

♪ Lost in your name ♪

♪ I will never be the same ♪

You've got braces.

I'm hungry.

I'm going to kiss you now, Gerald.

You gotta close your eyes now.

I guess it's going to take a little time, huh?

Yeah.

Watch it, Gerald.

It's not that easy.

You've got a lot of work to do.

So do I.

Welcome home, Dinky Bossetti.

♪ You can try, I don't care ♪

♪ Forcing circles into squares ♪

♪ You can spend precious time ♪

♪ Marching in your perfect line ♪

♪ But I don't hear that drum ♪

♪ I'm looking for something else ♪

♪ And if you don't like what you see ♪

♪ You don't have to look at me ♪

♪ If you don't like what I say ♪

♪ You can turn the other way ♪

♪ If you don't like what you see ♪

♪ Then don't look at me ♪

♪ Add it up, count me out ♪

♪ I'm taking a different route ♪

♪ I didn't mean to offend ♪

♪ Before I broke I chose to bend ♪

♪ So I'll be on my way ♪

♪ I have nothing left to say ♪

♪ But if you don't like what you see ♪

♪ You don't have to look at me ♪

♪ If you don't like what I say ♪

♪ You can turn the other way ♪

♪ If you don't like what you see ♪

♪ Then don't look at me ♪

♪ Don't look at me ♪

♪ Don't look at me ♪

♪ Oh if you don't like what you see ♪

♪ You don't have to look at me ♪

♪ Mm, ah-ah-ah, oh ♪

♪ If you don't, if you don't, if you don't ♪

♪ If you don't like what you see ♪

♪ Then you don't have to look at me ♪

♪ Uh-Uh, oh-oh ♪

♪ You don't have to look at me ♪

♪ No no no no no ♪

♪ If you don't like, if you don't like, if you don't like ♪

♪ You don't have to look at me ♪

♪ Uh-oh, uh-uh ♪

♪ And you swore that you were bound for glory ♪

♪ And for wanting you had no shame ♪

♪ But I loved you and then I lost you ♪

♪ And I will never be the same ♪

♪ Oh I ♪

♪ I will never be the same ♪

♪ Oh I ♪

♪ I will never be the same ♪

♪ Caught in your eyes ♪

♪ Lost in your name ♪

♪ I will never be the same ♪

♪ I, I will never be the same ♪

♪ Oh I ♪

♪ I will never be the same ♪

♪ Caught in your eyes ♪

♪ Lost in your name ♪

♪ I will never be the same ♪