Original subtitles

[Nan] I love that England has a night especially for bonfires.

And you always celebrate at Guy's?

[Theo] Every year. It's always a huge party.

Where is everyone?

It's very odd no one's here to see us in. And no other guests yet.

It's usually a rather raucous affair.

[giggles] Oh, there he is!

Guy! Good to see you. We missed you.

[Guy] Here he is, fresh back from New York.

Welcome. Both of you.

Everyone else is inside, so...

We can't seem to locate any of your staff. Uh, where should my valets...

Oh, yes, uh, upstairs. I'll show them.

[Theo] Nan?

We're all trying not to ask about the...

Where are the servants?

Uh, it's just me here for now, you know, while the work's being done on the house.

[Conchita laughs]

Oh, you're here! [laughs]

- We've been to see the maze. - Mabel couldn't even find the maze.

I'm looking forward to her trying to find her way out of it. [laughs]

[Guy] Right, so, Bonfire Night was Mother's favorite.

Months of planning, a massive feast, hundreds of guests.

And this is... [stammers] ...everyone?

Yeah, I've kept it intimate.

But I... I couldn't let the day go by.

So, we'll all have to muck in, but that was what it was all about, wasn't it?

Mother always had us chopping wood for fires.

Oh, I can help. I can chop wood.

Obviously the ladies aren't expected to chop wood.

Why is that obvious?

I just meant they're usually in the kitchen, making treacle toffee.

Which is much more appealing than being out in the cold, I've always imagined...

Fine. We'll swap.

[bird wings flutter]

[Nan] Are you... Is everything okay?

Is it something I said?

You must be finding today really hard.

I'm sure the memories of your mother, they must be, um...

Stop!

You have... You have to, um...

Um, I'll just...

Um, you have to put your left hand on the bottom.

There you go. And then...

Lower.

And then when you swing it around, you bring it down.

Okay.

Around. [chuckles] And then you bring it down.

Okay.

- Okay? - Yes.

And then swing more gently.

[sniffs]

[grunts, panting]

- Very good. - Yeah.

It's why I went ahead with it.

This weekend.

I love remembering her.

And the... the pain of remembering, I... I cherish it.

Because what... what I dread is the pain of forgetting.

What was she like?

She was made of fire. That's how it seemed.

Everything about her was energy. And warmth. And unexpected.

Yet, she refused to be... to be less than.

My father never expected her to be.

They were... They were equals. They were best friends.

And I think that's what I've always wanted too.

I've... I've, um...

Um... Sorry.

Don't... Don't apologize.

I ought to be getting back to the... Sorry.

["North American Scum" playing]

Is this done?

Well, don't you remember my mother's trick for finding out?

- No! Jinny, stop! [laughing] - [Jinny laughing]

- Oh, my God! [laughing] - We need to see if it's ready, Lizzy.

[Seadown] So this is where the fun's happening?

Hey.

I'm no cook, of course, but that does not look like treacle toffee.

[chuckles] Well, it's marshmallow.

Mother used to make it for roasting on the fire. You'll adore it, I promise.

[water running]

[smacks lips]

Hmm. Delicious. [kisses]

I just need to let it sit and rest.

[turns water off]

Sorry. Fly.

They should be gone by the end of summer,

but there's always one or two still hanging around.

Bothersome.

[kisses]

[Jean] Sorry, is this... [stammers]

[Guy] Lady Hopeleigh.

Uh, the front door was open and there was no one to... [sighs]

- Jean? What are you doing here? - Um,

the invitation implied it was a big party, but it... it seems you're renovating?

Am I very late? Or perhaps early?

[Theo] Ah. The guest of honor!

How nice to see you, Lady Hopeleigh.

Guy was just telling me how much he was looking forward to your arrival.

Now, Jean... [chuckles] ...has he not offered to help with your luggage?

He's a brute, of course, but he improves when you get to know him.

My apologies... [chuckles] ...I lost track of time.

Theo, would you mind helping me?

Thank you.

Well, that was embarrassing for everyone concerned.

I wouldn't have asked her if I'd known it was an intimate gathering.

Why are you inviting people on my behalf?

I thought you might want to get to know her better.

You never wanted to.

Well, I'm a well-known idiot, of course.

Also, Jean's quite lovely, don't you think?

Beautiful, and from a very respectable family.

Why wouldn't you want to get to know her?

It's not as though you're getting to know anyone else.

[sighs]

[sighs]

[Guy] So, this will be your room.

I, uh, hope you find it comfortable.

[chuckles] Thank you. [chuckles]

So, I'll, uh, see you downstairs?

[stammers] Perhaps you might give me a tour before we rejoin the others?

I'd love to see the grounds.

I'm afraid I've... Still have preparations to make for the bonfire...

- Of course! - With it just being me...

- There's a lot to do, and... [chuckles] - [Guy] Quite.

- Well, I shall, uh... - Yes, please. [chuckles]

[sighs]

[Mabel] So, just to be clear, this Guy invented bonfires?

No, he tried to blow up parliament with a bonfire.

- Is that right? - No.

There was no bonfire then, it's just how we celebrate now.

Why would we celebrate blowing up parliament?

He didn't actually manage to blow it up.

Hmm. Most English thing ever.

- He was bad at it. So, let's celebrate. - [chuckles]

I hope Jean's all right. She seemed a little uncomfortable.

I'm sure Guy's made her feel at ease.

He seems to be giving her a thorough tour of that bedroom.

[chuckles]

Why'd you let Jean think the invitation came from Guy?

Well, I doubt she'd have come had she known it was from me.

And just because I didn't want her,

doesn't mean Jean isn't a good choice for Guy.

She's not a hat that you can toss around just because it doesn't suit you.

- No, no, I know. I just... - It's humiliating to show up uninvited.

Well, no more humiliating than facing another season unmarried.

W-Why are you getting so upset about this?

Look, Guy's my dearest friend.

Don't we both want him to be as happy as we are?

Yes, of course. And I want Jean to be happy even more.

Then what exactly is the problem?

- Hi. - Oh. [chuckles]

- Hello. - Sorry. [stammers]

- I suppose Minnie'll be, uh... - Miss Testvalley says Minnie's...

[Conchita, Richard chuckle]

I told the others you were on holiday in the countryside.

Uh, because... [stammers] ...I thought it better not to tell the... the truth

about you and Minnie moving out.

Yes, of course. [chuckles] Probably for the best.

But I can still come and visit next week?

- Yes, come anytime. Come to the house... - Anytime that's convenient for you.

You can come in the morning when she's having breakfast.

There'll be dribble everywhere, of course.

Well, you'd better stop your dribbling then.

[chuckling]

[sucks]

[footsteps approaching]

Ah. [chuckles] I was looking for an escape.

But I see you've already secured the best spot.

There's room for another.

[Guy sighs]

Isn't it utterly divine?

- Mmm. - Mmm.

[sighs sharply]

Mmm.

Feeling full is just the greatest of all feelings, don't you think?

[exhales deeply] It is a good feeling.

[chuckles]

But what about love?

You only think love is better because you've been full your whole life.

It's different for us.

Americans?

Women.

We are taught to be hungry.

To ignore that ache, so that you may be as small as possible,

small enough for a man to notice you.

But it makes no sense. [sucks]

Disappearing to be seen?

Not a bit.

I can't tell you the relief, since I've stopped trying to attract a husband.

The relief, and also the sweets. [smacks lips]

Well, whatever's made you stop, I'm glad it's making you happy.

I'm not sure I am.

There was a man...

that I trusted and I shouldn't have.

He, um...

He made me feel ashamed. And afraid.

And I don't know how to change that.

- Someone here in England? - No. No.

Back in New York.

If I may...

I think you may already have the answer.

You didn't say you did something shameful, you said he made you feel ashamed.

He did.

[sniffles] And I've been carrying that shame with me ever since.

[sniffles, sighs]

But... [breathes deeply]

I guess, perhaps that shame, it belongs to him.

And it's not mine to keep.

It's my choice to...

Just to let it go. [inhales deeply]

[Honoria] Oh, sorry, Jean, I was just, um...

I heard you'd arrived. I thought you'd be with Guy.

[chuckles] He had no idea I was even coming.

Oh.

I thought Guy's invitation odd.

I was in no hurry to accept, but my mother got wind and...

- I'm sure you know how that goes. - [chuckles] Yes.

Comes to something when even the men

you aren't interested in can't get away fast enough.

Then Guy's a fool.

You were the beauty of the season. Everyone said so.

Haven't you heard? That's not nearly enough anymore.

I watched my older sisters play the marriage game.

And I didn't just learn the rules, I perfected them.

Then they arrived, the Americans. And the rules changed.

Now, men like girls who challenge them.

And they want their wives to be confident.

My whole life, I've been told to make less noise.

And now everyone's wondering why they can't hear me.

I couldn't bear it when they came at first,

saying every thought out loud and giving in to every whim.

But when was the last time you laughed like they do?

[chuckles] Not since I was a child. [chuckles]

[chuckles] I used to think that they needed to be taught how to behave.

And now?

I wonder if it's us who need to learn how to live.

[chattering]

[chattering continues, laughing]

[Guy] Right then, the rules are simple.

First to the center finds the torch.

Whoever finds the torch lights the bonfire.

Girls, you're all gonna have a head start, as it's your first time.

Any questions?

Yes. Mabel would like to know where the maze is.

- [Conchita, Mabel laugh] - [Jean chuckles]

[Guy] And...

go!

This way, come on. [laughs]

[Conchita] This way.

Jinny, I know a way out. The house is empty.

Take this, wave it above the hedge and I'll come find you.

Then we can sneak off together, yes?

[Honoria] Mabel?

I've thought about you...

since that night at Tintagel.

Lady Honoria, are you flirting?

[chuckles] You are. I'm delighted for you.

[chuckles]

Do you feel a sneeze coming on?

[chuckles] No.

James wants me to wave it above a hedge so he can find me,

and we can sneak off together.

How romantic.

Though honestly, selfishly, I would be a little sad.

We so rarely get to see each other these days.

- I know, almost never, in fact. - And time is just going by so quickly.

Before you know it, I'll be back in New York.

And James and I have all the time in the world to spend together at home.

Suppose there's always a chance you might just drop the handkerchief.

Accidentally, of course.

No, I wouldn't. [sighs] I couldn't.

And go!

["Rebel Girl" playing]

- Let's do it. - Stay back!

- I mean it. - [chattering]

[footsteps]

[Nan] Hello?

Is there anyone there?

Me.

Nan?

Are you alone?

[Guy] Yes.

[Nan] Good. [sighs]

Is it?

[sighs] I just...

Well, I was just thinking about what you said earlier

about your mother and father's marriage an-and how...

and how they were equals,

and how you want that for yourself.

- Yes? - And what you said you wanted

out of a marriage is a best friend.

And friends, they're supposed to be relaxed around one another, aren't they?

And they're supposed to be excited wh...

About when they see each other, and when they're with each other.

They're never supposed to be awkward with one another.

And I just don't think you and Jean are best friends.

What have you ever laughed about with her?

What have you ever shared with her?

I don't think it makes any sense for the two of you to get married.

I'm not thinking of marrying Jean.

I'm not marrying anyone. Why are you so interested in marriage?

- I'm not interested in marriage. - But you're getting married.

[sighs] Yes.

Despite everything I put in my telegram.

So, I'm... I'm not sure

- why you're so bothered about what... - Wait, what telegram?

The telegram.

- You didn't get a telegram in New York? - No.

No, I didn't get any sort of telegram.

What did it say?

Stay there.

[breathing deeply]

[panting]

Oh... [laughs] ...goodness!

Nan, these mazes, it's like they don't want us to find our way out.

What is it? What's wrong?

Oh! Nan?

- [Jinny] Quickly. - [Lizzy giggles]

- [Jinny] Do we go right to the end? - [Lizzy] It is. It's right. I told you.

[chuckles]

[Jinny, Lizzy giggling]

[Jinny, Lizzy giggle]

Ah, for goodness' sake!

Has there been a single year you haven't won?

[chuckles] You're right, of course. It's not a fair fight.

[sighs] I know this maze as well as I know Guy.

Of course. [sighs] Who could have predicted?

What? Every year?

We'll have a drink, shall we?

To celebrate... before I burn Guy to the ground.

[chuckles]

What a good decision we made, my darling,

to put this lake in our stately home.

- [laughs] - Oh, it was the perfect choice.

- You, my dear, have impeccable taste. - [laughs]

Those curtains you chose for our parlor are a delight.

- [laughs, gasps] - [laughs]

Home sweet home.

[Mabel] It's a bit smaller than I remember. [chuckles]

[Honoria] But exactly what we need.

It's getting quite late.

Perhaps we should retire.

Are you sure you're ready?

For retiring?

Quite sure.

[Honoria chuckles, sighs]

- And what do you think the telegram said? - I don't know.

Nan, you do know. You absolutely know.

He wouldn't send a secret telegram halfway across the world

to tell you what he had for breakfast.

Maybe he would, because we're friends, and we're good friends.

Although, there was this moment when we were chopping wood,

and... [stammering] ...it felt like something. And it's just all so confusing.

I just don't... [sighs]

I really tried to stop it but I saw him with Jean and it's...

- And you were jealous? - No, of course not! [sighs]

- Maybe. - Oh, Nan. Oh, Nan, I knew it. I knew it.

[chuckles, gasps] Are you in love with Guy Thwarte?

I can't be. This is all...

He makes me angrier than any other person in this whole world.

- Yes, sometimes we laugh... - [chuckles]

...and it's sometimes that breathless laugh.

But in between those moments of joy,

there are so many more of aggravation and irritation and...

- Nan, what you're describing is love. - No, love is calm. Love is stability.

Love is a heart attack.

Love is the best and worst of everything.

Love is hating someone with every inch of your soul,

yet spending even a minute without them is the worst pain you've ever known.

Conchie, you have to tell Dick that you still love him.

Nan, this isn't about me and Dick.

This is about you and Guy and...

And Theo. Theo, we're about to get married

- and that's what makes this so... - Are you certain?

- Are you quite certain? - I thought so. I...

[sighs] How can you ever be certain?

The way he talked about Jean today was like she was a possession.

- And meanwhile, Guy... He is just... - Oh, he's so charming.

- Yes. [sighs] Yes, and he's so easy. - Considerate.

- He's one of us. - And how infuriating is that? [chuckles]

[laughing]

What business does Guy have sending me telegrams about...

[laughs] About how he loves you?

- Yes! How dare he? - I know.

Because that's all I can think about. And I need to know

what is in that stupid telegram.

I think you do. Um, Nan?

Just be careful. And... And be sure.

It is kind of exciting, though. It is!

[squeals] Yes! [laughs]

[chuckles]

- [Jinny] Lies, Lizzy Elmsworth. - [Lizzy laughs]

- [Jinny] You are a liar. - No, no,

I remember it like it was yesterday.

Johnny Baldwin claimed that he could do more cartwheels

than anybody in the whole of Saratoga, and you simply had to prove him wrong.

The whole town saw your undergarments.

No, I'd never do such a thing. I'm a lady.

A lady that can do 13 cartwheels in a row...

- [laughing] - ...practically 14. [laughs]

[groans] James will be so furious I ran away, but...

it's been so worth it.

[breathes heavily]

[exhales sharply]

[chuckling]

[inhales sharply]

[chuckles]

[breathing heavily]

- [Nan] What did the telegram say? - [Guy] Excuse me?

Well, of course, as so often, you're in every way quite intolerable.

Where do you find the audacity?

- I am engaged to your best friend. - That is not in any way news to me.

Happily engaged, I should add. Why should I even speak to you?

After you left me at Runnymede.

I told you my most precious secret and you couldn't run away fast enough.

But I came back to apologize.

I came back almost immediately, and you were already engaged.

Well, how convenient.

[breathes heavily] You caused all this confusion

with the wood chopping,

and with grand speeches about how you wanna fall in love

with someone who's your equal. How dare you?

- Nan, listen, I... [stammering] - No, it's too late.

Where was all of this... these feelings and the confusion when we first met?

When you climbed out of a window above me?

- Yes! - When we danced down a staircase?

- Yes! - When we looked at each other.

When we laughed.

When it felt like we immediately knew each other

and that anything was entirely possible?

That together, we could go anywhere, or-or do anything.

It wouldn't matter if we were in a palace or a tree,

as long as we were laughing and-and dancing and kissing

and discovering and-and kissing again.

When I realized, Nan, that I am desperately in love with you.

And I have been since the first second I set eyes on you.

- Nan! Nan, wait. - [Nan breathing shakily]

Nan. Nan.

Nan, just... Nan, please, let's just...

- There you both are. - [Guy panting]

I was just showing Nan the walled garden.

Oh. [chuckles] Your mother's favorite place.

Lizzy and Jinny still aren't back yet,

so we were just about to start a game of poker.

- Are you in? - Oh. [breathes heavily] I don't know.

No obligation, of course.

I-I know it's more of a risk for some than others.

Financially.

Nan, you'll play though?

You're not having to be careful with money.

- I'll play. [breathes heavily] - Oh. [stammers] Excellent.

Yeah. Yeah, I suppose...

Excellent.

[Guy sighs]

[sighs]

- I can always help you out if... - No need.

You know, I have a 15-year winning streak.

You've beaten me every single day of our lives...

[swallows] ...in a number of ways.

Doesn't mean you always will.

[inhales sharply]

[scoffs]

A lot of money. Congratulations. I'm...

I'm glad it worked out for you.

Perhaps now you can hire some of your old servants back.

I think we all know they're not on leave.

- Theo. - Or maybe you could even stop looking

for that rich American bride you've been after.

That was your plan, wasn't it? When you went to New York?

Save the family fortunes with a wealthy match.

[Theo sighs]

Isn't that right?

But... [chuckles] ...all you needed was a few lucky hands.

I haven't put my cards down yet.

I win.

Which is strange, because it feels like I have absolutely nothing...

at all.

["Into the Dark" playing]

To remember Guy Fawkes... and his failed betrayal.

I am an idiot, of course, for believing you when you said

you wanted a partner and not a wife.

And for thinking that you saw the world the same way I do,

when all you were doing was just telling me what I wanted to hear.

- God, no. Nan... [stammers] - But the worst thing

is you could only do that because I trusted you again.

I told you things I haven't told anyone.

I thought we were friends,

and for a brief moment, I was terrified

that we were something more.

The truth is, we're neither.

- I'm so sorry. [breathes heavily] - Why are you sorry?

I left. I let you down, as I... as I so often do,

- and... [sniffling, crying] - Hey.

- You never let me down. - [crying]

No need to cry, Jinny. I hate seeing you like this, come on.

- Come here. Come here. - [sniffles, sighs]

[sniffles]

- Go and say goodbye to your friends. - [cries]

I'll see you in the room, and we will talk this all through, yes?

- Okay. - Okay.

- Go on. - [sniffles]

I wish you'd told me.

Your mother's portraits.

I wouldn't have let you sell them.

It's not just the portraits, Theo.

It's the whole house. I've lost everything.

That's what this... [swallows] ...party was for.

To say goodbye.

I can... I... I can help.

I can't keep taking from you, Theo.

And I won't.

Jean really is a lovely girl.

[sighs]

[handle creaks]

[lock rattles]

[knocks]

James?

[knocks]

James?

I'm so sorry, James. Please let me in. Please?

Is everything...

You left.

I thought we'd be missed.

You make me brave.

I mean it.

You're the bravest person I've ever met.

I walked out. And I left you.

I'd expected that you wanted to go back up to the house,

just before our children return home from school.

- [chuckles] - Honoria.

You know how little William loves to play the piano,

- so... - Honoria, stop it! Please, stop it.

Why?

Because it's ridiculous. It's stupid.

As if we could ever actually have children.

But it's just a game.

Do you not understand?

Our whole lives are pretending.

Every single one of my friends gets to dance and giggle

and hold hands in public the whole time, and nobody minds a bit.

They don't have to be brave. They... They get celebrated.

They get a ring a-and a party,

and they have parents that can bear to look at them.

Honoria, this isn't new to me. None of this.

And in fact, it bores me. Pretending bores me.

[door opens]

[door slams]

Nan... [stammers] ...I wanted to... apologize.

Somehow I haven't been myself today.

You haven't?

Th-The way I-I treated Jean,

and-and those things I said after the poker game...

That's not who I want to be.

The truth is, I-I've always been a little jealous of Guy.

He's so effortlessly likable because of who he is, not what he is.

My life is entirely power, but no control.

And this love, the way I feel a-about you,

its power, its strength... [breathes shakily] ...is overwhelming.

I'm out of control of it and utterly terrified of...

Of losing you.

[flame hisses]

["Into the Dark" playing]