Original subtitles

All right, go to the post office and change my mailing address.

Uh, put the cable in Carver's name. Mr. Brown.

Okay, then I need to get my car tuned up.

Siphon all the gas out of Carver's car.

I need to watch it, Mr. Brown.

Figure out how am I going to tell my students I'm leaving.

How about if you just tell them, this is Mrs. Carver.

I don't care nothing about y 'all future, so I'm out of here on the first

smoking.

Now look.

I'll be the one who decides how to tell my class.

Well, Carver, if you leave, I'm going to miss you, Carver.

We're like two peas in a pot. We were made to be together like Ike and Tina.

Like you and the Colonel.

Colonel, what the what?

Colonel, why in the world are you walking around here looking like I'm

It's going to help me with my newfound celibacy.

Yes, it's like a flat old chastity belt.

You're right. The only thing you're going to catch with that thing is... A

Uh -uh. Not if you use the right salve.

Or maybe a hot garlic bath.

Yeah, yeah. Use the fresh stuff. Don't use that powder.

That stuff will have you rubbing raw.

Garlic, huh? Yeah, yeah. Okay.

Colonel, stay out of my garlic!

Oh, Lord.

Get the colonel. It's time for him to come home.

Hey, colonel, you better get in here. Mama Duke is in heat.

She rubbed my legs to get like a foot.

Why are you two dressed like that, looking like two spoons of succotash?

Sister Edna, I do not accept social calls before noon Bible study.

How long do you plan on staying here?

Until the spirit moves me toward marriage.

Just call me the spirit.

Yes, Spirit Brown.

Do you, Colonel, take Edna to be your awfully ugly wife?

I tell you what, I now pronounce you man and wolf.

Go enjoy your honeymoon.

I mean your full moon or whatever the moon is. No, no, no, no, no, no. I am

living in sin.

Fine. And you're not living in my house either.

Fine. You don't act like this.

You are not the only player in the game.

What's that supposed to mean?

Sound to me like somebody's still at home.

You're safe.

No, you're out.

Wake up in my class.

All right, next question.

Sam Houston was the governor of which state?

Houston. Good answer.

Good answer.

Milo, I said state.

That's minus one point for the east side.

All right.

Texas. That is correct.

Woo! One point for the West Side. There are a lot of famous people from Texas.

You have Lance Armstrong, George Bush, you have Yolanda Adams, Erykah Badu.

Yeah, yeah, you got Bushwick Bill, Scarface, that little dark -skinned girl

Destiny's Child.

Oh, okay, good. And soon you'll know someone else that is from Texas.

Miss Simmons.

Yes? I'm sorry to interrupt your class, but I had to bring by this going -away

gift. You going somewhere, Miss Simmons?

Oh, me? No.

You know, we're all moving on to bigger and better things.

And that's why I bought her this laptop for her trip to Dallas.

Oh, that's what's up. Miss Simmons is going on a road trip.

Can you bring me back a Dallas cowboy hat? Oh, and can you tell Bushrick I

what up, boo?

They don't know yet?

Don't know what?

That you're taking a new teaching position in Dallas.

What?

No, but they do now.

good pajama. Here's my good pajama. Well, that better be her.

Somebody gonna get whooped.

Come here.

What's going on here? You called and said the colonel was ready.

He is. He ready to die if you don't get him out my house.

I thought he was your Bible study buddy. He is until that idiot cut the bottom

out of my pajamas.

Look at that. He got me walking around here looking normal and you know I hate

that.

Look, they just ruined. They ruined.

He ain't nothing but a false.

Pajama profit!

Then what do you want me to do?

I don't know. You better think of something before I kill him. That's what

better do. What about if I make him jealous?

Ain't nobody gonna... You ain't gonna find nobody to date you that's gonna

Colonel jealous.

Get off me! Get off me! We can't tell him.

Colonel, he doesn't have to know. Have to know what?

I don't know what, but I'm trying to figure out what the what just...

this ain't...

Thou shall not covet thy neighbor's ox. Your ox chose me. I ain't messing with

your ox. Brother Brown, you told me. You better get off. Get off. Get off of me.

She's trying to die on me.

I think I got you. I got lobsters now. Brother Brown, I never thought I had to

say this to you, but stop being nasty.

You think I'm trying to... No, I know what I saw. That's right. I told you we

couldn't keep the secret for long.

Baby, I'm sorry.

Maybe we should go home and talk. No, I'm sorry.

Maybe you and Brown were meant for each other.

And what God puts together, let no man put asunder.

Colonel, where are you going?

No, Colonel, she don't want to be asunder me.

She want to be asunder you.

leaving us, Ms. Simmons.

I can't. This is not how I wanted to tell you. I'm sorry.

Oh, really?

What were you going to say?

You don't care nothing about our future, so you're leaving on the first thing,

smoking.

Kids, calm down. Calm down. Calm down. Sit.

Look, students, sometimes things come up.

Yeah, but when Ms. Simmons dies, it ain't going to be our grades, you know

I'm saying?

Especially you.

Marla, why would you say something like that? Because it's true, Miss Simmons.

Look, you remember how my grades were before you came, right? That's because

weren't applying yourself.

Yeah, but you made me stay after school so I could learn how to do that. You

were in detention.

Why, you got to bring up the past, Miss Simmons.

Miss Simmons, I am so sorry for not letting you tell these students your

news. Well, you should be.

Can I speak to you in the hallway, please?

Well, actually, if you don't mind, I'd rather be just talking here where I am.

I got some witnesses.

This is my class, and they won't say a word.

According to them, you were never here.

Right, class?

Who was never here, Miss Simmons? What are you talking about?

I don't know what you're talking about.

Outside, please.

Why did you do that, Gordon? I thought you would have told him by now.

I was waiting for the right time.

When was that going to be, graduation?

Maybe I shouldn't even go.

What, after all the trouble I went through?

All the trouble you went through? What do you mean?

Look, Cora, you know that I want us to be together. There are two vacant

positions at Prestigious Academy. There's a teacher position, and there's

principal's position.

So you did all this so we could be together?

And I thought you'd be surprised.

Surprise.

Well, you thought wrong.

Surprise.

It was nasty.

She touched my skin and I just got cold.

You know, I should have known Edna was the devil the first time I seen her

eating them raw chickens.

Oh, Lord, the devil does wear Prada.

Pastor, pray for me. I'll call you back, Pastor Black.

I am not the devil.

You, you, you, turn around and let me see if you got a tail.

Edna, don't put your... Come on. I'm sorry about what I did to you.

And why are you all dressed up?

Well, this dress is plan B.

Well, it look plain old nasty.

This is the Colonel's favorite dress. He loves it when it's on, but he likes it

even better when I take it off. Okay, T -I -M, T -I -M.

T -M -I, idiot.

Well, I don't want to see your T and A.

That's your toes and Adam's apple.

Just fun.

Uh, the colonel ain't here. You ain't got to go home, but you got to get

Hey, Corbin.

You ain't gonna believe Gordon.

Corbin, well, fine. How you doing? It's nice to see you today, too. I'm glad you

asked.

You're not gonna believe what Gordon did.

Followed you home.

No, he told my class I was leaving.

Well, Corbin, he did. It's your favor.

How you doing, Gordon? You know, I really like you.

You know, you're an honest man, and you come from good family. Why, thank you,

Mr. Brown. Yes. Well, he's the one who set up my transfer to Dallas, Mr. Brown.

You know what? You're a liar, and I bet you your family's a bunch of

bootleggers. Come on, then.

Oh,

I need to ask. You want me to get you some water?

No! And you stay away from my daughter. We wrestle not against flesh and blood,

but against...

That's unfair. You put my eyes out.

Mr. Brown!

Mr. Brown! Cor! Cor!

Looks like you have problems with the heart as well.

It all worked out. It just blew up in my face.

And... I guess Cor and I are just not supposed to be together.

That's what I'm beginning to think about me and the girl.

I mean, I thought he was my soulmate, but...

Fate just keeps taking him away. I don't know what to do. I know exactly what

you mean.

Good Lord, woman.

Now you're cheating on Brown.

Oh, Lord.

We decided to skip lunch today so that we could throw you this little going

-away party. Oh, this is so nice. That is wonderful.

Oh, that's so cute.

Yeah, that and Miss Pearl is serving food without a hairnet again.

Hold up. You don't want that unless you want some curl activator in your salad.

You don't want that.

Oh, thank you so much. No, I don't.

So when we first learned you were leaving, we were all a little upset,

Yeah. But now we understand.

You do?

No, we're devastated.

It's all good, Miss Simmons.

We decided to do a little something -something to help you remember us. Oh,

didn't have to do that. I told you.

Take your place.

Come on, everybody, place it, place it.

Come on, we've been rehearsing. Let's do this, all right? Okay, so what do you

have for me? Miss...

Stop. Just go ahead. Just sit down.

Just please, just sit down.

This is going to be a solo.

All right, Miss Cora, if you could just snap on beat. Snap on beat. Very good.

All right.

The year was this year.

The place, by her.

She walked in with those pretty brown eyes and said, This is my last week,

Deal with it. I didn't say that.

Miss Cora!

The oil fields of Texas were calling your name.

She slapped her kids without a bit of shame.

That's not what we practice. Say the wrong thing. I'm not going to be fake.

Miss Simmons, do you remember the first thing you ever said to me?

Yeah, get that boy's tongue out of your ear.

Girl, I knew you was a freak.

Okay, the second.

I'll snatch her.

I'll snatch the hope out of your head.

The third thing you said was, I'll always be here for you.

I did. Yes, I did say that.

Well, I didn't know that speech had an expiration date.

Well, I meant what I said. But you're leaving. You can't help me all the way

from Dallas.

You know what? Tamika, I'm sorry.

Whatever. I'm sorry.

Correct.

Correct. Correct.

Correct.

Sit down, boy.

And that's Ms. Simmons to you.

I can't work like this. I cannot work like this. I just can't do it.

But I distinctly saw with my own eyes a younger man enjoy the company of your

bosom. Baby, I was just telling him how much I missed you. And so were you

telling that to his chest?

He's tall and muscular. If I wanted a young, muscular man, I wouldn't have

yes to you. Oh, that didn't sound right.

Well, what about you and Brown?

Me and Brown, really? Come on, the only person's been in his pajamas is you.

Which I wish he would stay out of, by the way.

Speaking of out, why don't y 'all just hit the... and get... and get... I

thought I'd give it a shot.

Brown, will you tell her I'm a holy man now?

Colonel, she already knows she done seen your drawers.

I'm looking to be evenly yoked. Well, I... tell y 'all what, if y 'all don't

out of my house, somebody gonna be easily choked. Just lean, lean far right

here, Colonel. Just lean.

After all this, I'm not sure if I want to be married either.

Well, good.

That's something y 'all got in common.

I want to talk about it. Please, please go home. What do you mean you don't want

to be married?

Well, after all this, I've had time to think about it.

Shut up. That's a surprise. I didn't know the scarecrow's had brains.

Every time you talk about marriage, something goes wrong. First it's the

now it's your heart attack.

Yeah, which you gave him, by the way. They told me.

Then we're in agreement.

Yes. We need to love each other and appreciate each day.

Great. Great!

Now, how about if y 'all go and enjoy each other in your own den of antiquity?

Please!

I'm going home. Great.

You're welcome to join me. Join him. Take him home, Lord. In a wink. Take it.

I'm coming home now. Yes! Take him home. Beam him up, Lord.

What about living in sin?

The only sin would be to live without you.

It's like a love story.

Man loving bees.

Yes. Colonel, y 'all go home and love each other. Whoa, whoa, whoa. What about

my stuff?

Send your pack mule back to get it later.

Hello.

Hello, everybody.

Come on in.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Come in.

Hey.

Here you go.

Oh, thanks.

That's what the kids do on TV.

When I become a teacher, I want the kids to bring me video games. You know what

I'm saying? Just play the video games. Oh, so you want to be a teacher?

No, no. I want to be a gangster rapper, but my mama says no.

Oh,

sit down, boy.

All right, class, I want to say something to you.

I just want you to know how much I've enjoyed teaching you guys.

Yeah, we've enjoyed you teaching us, Ms. Lemon. Well, thank you. Well, most of

us anyway.

Get up.

That's okay.

He can be in the same chair next year, sleeping.

How would you know? You're going to be in Dallas teaching new kids.

until you get offered a better job and leave them, too.

Tamika, what I'm saying is, I've enjoyed teaching you guys so much that I've

decided that I want to keep doing it. Oh, Miss Simmons!

Miss Simmons, you can't leave me, Miss Simmons. I can't do it without you.

She said she's staying.

She's staying, fool.

Okay, you know, I ain't crying, girl. I just got a little something in my eye.

If you could just blow it out.

Oh, yeah, yeah, I can tell by how the tears are not falling from your eyes.

Well,

I hope you're not changing your mind because of a... Well, actually, I am.

Because of a promise that I made to you when we first met.

I said that I would always be here for you guys.

And I'm not in the habit of breaking promises.

Hey.

All right, all right, okay. Open your textbooks.

We're going to do a quiz on Chapter 15.

Man, we should have just let you leave.

I'll be right back, all right?

Yes, sir.

I think you're making a mistake.

Why? Because I decided for my friends?

Ooh.

I suppose I had that one coming.

I really thought I was doing what was best for us.

You did what was best for you.

So what am I supposed to do now?

Gordon.

Have a nice trip to Dallas.

Oh, that is so cute. Me and my daddy.

I figured out what it is.

What? You shamed on me. That's why you don't want to stay here with me no more.

And I don't want to be alone, Cora.

Cora, I just love you. And I said I don't want to be by myself. And you just

gone. You shamed on me. That's why you don't want to be here with me. Mr.

look. You'll be happy to know that I decided to stay.

Shut up!

You know what, Cora? I knew you couldn't go nowhere. I said Cora ain't going

nowhere. So that's why I ain't even changed nothing in your room. I left

everything in your room the same. Even that ugly picture of Muddy is sitting

right there. I said Cora ain't going nowhere.

I said to myself, I said, Seth, Cora ain't going nowhere.

That's how I knew you wasn't going nowhere, because it was in my spirit.

Pastor said, pray and pray.

That's what he said.

Hi, I'm Dora. Is the room still for rent?

Uh, for rent?

Yeah, uh, Dora, Cora, Cora, Dora.

Mr. Wayne, you was renting out my room, and I'm not even gone yet. No, the room

is not for rent.

Cora, you ain't got to be so mean.

after he put the room up for rent for her.