Original subtitles

Morning.

Good morning, Sasha.

Good morning, Renee.

Renee?

Renee, where are you? I'm here.

Between those charts I didn't file and my on -break time.

I mean, where are you?

Speakerphone.

Renee, are you at home?

I'm selling Pamper, my lady beauty product, and I have a sales party in an

You want to come over?

Bruno, you can't just phone in your job. You have to come to work.

No, I don't. Yes, you do. No, I don't. Yes, you do.

Watch. Mrs.

Alfonso?

Your doctor's ready to see your crazy little boy now.

Oh, and you, crazy little boy, come here.

If you fight that doctor again, I'm going to send your little butt to the

her hair all the way from radiology i'm your pamper my lady hair relaxer is

under my desk got it cool what what hey hey where you going you

owe me 18 now pay sasha that's my girl i'm not your girl i'm your

boss i don't work for you here you go girl here's your change and you will

a great day okay bye now

I'm going to tell you for the last time, Renee. You can't work from home.

You are so right, Sasha.

I got to find a bigger place.

No, Renee. I mean, you need to be here so you can see what's going on.

No, you need to stop scratching yourself.

See?

I'm not even scratching myself.

I was talking to Mrs. Garrett.

Mrs. Garrett, the dermatologist, will see you now.

All that scratching, you're making me itch.

Renee, how did you...

Wait a second.

Did you install cameras in here?

this Leroy Brown.

Yeah.

Yes, Mr. Brown.

Shut up!

No! Yes!

I want a car, Carver! I want, we want a car! Hang on, Mr. Brown, it's a scam.

Wait a minute, hold on.

Wait a minute, is this a scam?

Hold on. Now, Carver, they say this ain't no scam.

Well, I guess that settles it.

has got some nerve. What?

Do you know she ditched work today so she could sell beauty products for my

house? Really? Cora, I'm telling you, the next time I see that girl and get my

hands on her, I'm gonna... Hey, Sasha.

What are you doing here?

What'd you think?

Well, if you came here to apologize, I need to tell you... Now, what do you

think? I wasn't talking to you.

I love this lotion. It's nice. Have you tried it, Sasha? Ooh, you wanna see how

soft her hands are?

You want to see how soft the back of my hands are?

You need to soften your attitude.

I have the perfect products for that turkey waddle right there.

Tighten you up there, lift you up here, and pucker you up right there.

Pimper my lady products for the real you.

Would you like a free demonstration?

So what is this? Huh? You're pimping products to Cora now? No, she's doing a

sales presentation at my Destiny's Daughters meeting.

What? Destiny what?

Destiny's Daughters is a social outreach group that enhances women's lives.

Well, I sure hope they enhance my bank account.

Now, look, this thing really has to shine if I have a chance of becoming

president. Vice president?

Cora, that's so exciting. Yes, it is.

Okay, Thursday, 8 o 'clock. Okay, Thursday, 8 o 'clock, it is. No, it

Yes, it is. No, it isn't. Yes, it is. No, it isn't. You got to work, remember?

I have been meaning to talk to you about that.

Sasha, you might want to get that.

Hello? Is this Sasha?

Sasha, this is Renee.

I just wanted to let you know on Thursday, this coming Thursday, I'm

sick. Okay, bye.

You know what? I can't stand you.

I'm going to Hilton Head, South Carolina. That's five hours away. How

going to get there? I'm riding on a bus, but I'm coming back in my new car.

You got a new car?

No, I just want a new car.

All I got to do is sit through a two -hour presentation of Too Good to Miss

Estate Opportunity. Oh, that sounds like a scam to me. That's what I said.

Oh, wrong and wrong, girl. I'm telling you, this is going to be either like

Sunday morning.

And how do you know?

Because the Bible says.

I lied.

The steps of a righteous man are ordered by the Lord.

So I guess the Lord must have ordered me a new car. So right now, I'm going to

step into my new car, Cora.

And Satan, get thee behind me, too.

Where he at?

Jamal, have you heard from Simone? She was supposed to meet me for her prenatal

appointment.

Well, when's the last time you saw her?

Maya's party?

Was Carl there?

No, I don't like him. Why?

Did he ask about me?

Oh, he'd make me sick.

Good thing you're in a hospital.

Simone!

You're an hour late. You missed your appointment.

I'm sorry. I had an emergency.

Is the baby okay?

Baby's fine.

I was on my way here when... Ta -da!

Going at a business sale at Heidi's Bazaar. I got lucky!

Getting lucky is what got you here. You're not going to believe this.

I'm going to the party in this.

You have got to start taking care of yourself. Something could happen to your

baby. Aren't you even worried?

Of course I'm worried.

All sales are final.

Simone, you have got to slow your roll. You're going to be a mother soon.

Well, I'm not a mother yet. And having a baby doesn't mean your life is over.

Okay, Missy, you need to grow up. Okay, no more cookies for breakfast, no more

staying out late, and no more poochy gear.

60 % off?

Well, let's go shopping. I'm right behind you. We can reschedule an

on the way.

Okay. A baby's for life, but this sale ends on Thursday.

And this is the Pamper My Lady Fragrance.

Ooh.

Nice, right? You smell like a million bucks for only $22 .50.

So, what do you ladies think?

We like it.

We'll each take one.

This paper, my lady fragrance, makes me smell like a... lady.

But I'm already a lady.

That's a good one, Miss Hancock.

That's a real good one.

This is such a high

-spirited soiree.

You're thinking just like a future Destiny's Daughters vice president. Oh,

really?

Does that mean? It means the vice presidency hasn't been decided yet.

I'm still in the running.

This smells delightful. You know,

it would have smelled a whole lot better at my house.

Your house smells like foreclosure.

Well, everyone is allowed to express themselves as long as they're buying.

I ain't buying. And shiitake mushrooms, everyone.

Thank you, Sasha. Thank you so much.

Mushroom? No, no. Too foreign for my taste.

Foreign?

Well, then how about I put some barbecue sauce on it?

Hot sauce?

Well, now it's... Time for the Pamper My Lady private collection.

That sounds risque.

And it's a risque that's worth taking.

This party is just what Destiny's Daughters needed.

Really, Malenka?

Your vice presidency, it's in the bag.

And speaking of in the bag...

Batteries are included for a one -time offer.

Batteries!

Goodness,

that bag is sold to me!

How much? Oh, $22 .50. But for you, $22 .50.

to get your blood flowing.

And what's this? Oh, that's the next private collection.

Oh, yeah. Your husband will love this.

The red feather.

It's good for dusting and keeping your living room clean. Or keeping your

bedroom dirty.

I'm not preaching to you. Yes, you are.

Simone, you need to grow up. Simone, you can't wear that.

Simone, people don't take their clothes off at the strip mall. Yes, they do.

Okay, look.

I'm just trying to help. I don't need your help. I can do fine all by myself.

Yeah, okay, says the pregnant teenager.

You think I chose getting pregnant?

You didn't choose not to.

Stop judging me.

This is my baby. I'm the one who's pregnant.

Where are you going?

to buy some old stanky condominium that I can't even stay in but one week out of

the year.

They call that a timeshare.

I call it a waste of time.

I call it a waste of all of my time. You see, I'm trying to put some product

here, ma 'am. Mr. Brown, just give me the bag.

Why are you so worried about this bag anyway?

Ain't nothing in it but... Mr. Brown!

What? Ain't nothing in it but... A neck massager.

Yes, I saw a neck massager. Oh, yes. And it's a good one, too.

Excuse me. Come on.

Oh, yeah. No, don't talk about the Thursday. I can't wait.

I've seen enough. If you'll please excuse me.

Well, well, well, Miss, Miss, Miss, I ain't got weight.

Oh, man, I guess that mean I missed out on my vice presidency.

Oh, Corrine, if you're going to win the office, you got to have more votes than

that anyway.

You know, this one got a record, and convicts can't vote.

Renee fault? Why is it my fault?

I'm just a poor working girl.

Who cares about being vice president of some old stuffy organization anyway?

You and Afro Puff right here.

You know, I watch Whoopin' Stuff, and that's vice president Afro Puff.

Vice president? How'd she get it?

Aw, Cora.

Go ahead. Let it all out.

I know what would make you feel better.

If you become a Pamper My Lady distributor, it feels good.

Not now or never.

Oh, Miss Hancock, I'm so sorry. I must say, I was surprised to see what kind of

party you were having. Me too. And when I'm vice president, you won't ever have

to worry about this type of party again. You're right.

That's why you're never going to be vice president.

Congratulations, Cora.

I don't want that stuff. Okay.

So you weren't offended?

But you left and... To get my checkbook.

I'll take a pair of those.

They'll come in handy on me and my husband's weekend getaway.

Okay, well, what else can I get for you? And I'll take everything on page seven.

Even the... Mm -hmm.

How about the... Mm -hmm.

Now, I know you don't want them. I'll take two of those. What?

So you think you'd like to help me out?

Oh, Renee, I like this thing. You better get your feet up off my table, I tell

you that much.

And who wears glitter shoes anymore anyway?

That went out in the 70s.

Now you have a sparkly personality like me.

Yes. Oh, this is so good. This is a good one. Oh, $22 .50.

Dad, ain't nobody going to give you no point.

I just thought about it to myself.

I'm going to write you a check, and you can cash it on the 32nd.

That's what you can cash on the 32nd.

Brown on the 32nd.

Wait a minute, Brown. You're trying to trick me.

The 32nd of which month?

The 13th month. Yeah, do it on that.

13, 32nd, 2000.

Same reason you are.

Oh, no!

Are you pregnant, too?

No. Actually, I'm here for your appointment.

You are?

Hey.

Aren't you proud of me? I got here on time.

And it was tough.

I had to miss two big shoe sales.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, too.

If I sounded judgmental, it's only because I'm your friend and I care.

I know.

And I really appreciate you.

Sometimes it seems like you're the only one who cares.

Mom, I just want what's best for you and your baby.

Rihanna, I'm so scared.

Why?

You're getting what you said you wanted.

A cute little baby to dress up and take for walks and play with.

That's what I thought.

But now I'm seeing reality.

My parents are freaking out. Me and Craig aren't speaking.

And this morning, I threw up all over my new halter. Wait, what?

I'm just going to borrow that.

I'm serious.

Oh.

Well, I've been thinking about this.

And you know, I have options.

Like what?

Well, what can I do?

You can be the best friend in the whole wide world.

Oh, wait.

You already are.

Okay, let me see if I can talk to the charge nurse and get us in early.

You can do that.

What? You better tell that, baby. Auntie Bree's got the hookup up in here. Okay.

Girl, you ain't got no hookup up in here.

Can I get a number two with no fries and a coat, please? You're not funny.